NEEDS part 3 NEEDS part 3 by Sue Crossley Here is part 3 of my due South fan fiction 'Needs'. The final part! If you haven't read the first two parts then just due it! I think you might enjoy them. I apologize in advance for the Italian used in part 3. I had to get a friend of a friend to translate it to Italian for me. If it's wrong I'm sorry. Please let me know? As usual, Alliance has first dibs on the guys and I only borrow them for a while. Please don't Sue me (no pun intended) and please, this is for personal use only, don't use it without my permission? Thank you kindly to the people who emailed me asking for part 3 - here it is guys! Once again thank you kindly to my daughter Jaime. I love you. And to my best friend Rachel, you're going through a bad patch at the moment. I promise it will get better. Really! Finally to Aiza I appreciate you being around - you do a great job! Now read and enjoy - and don't forget to email me - I really want you to - I mean it! Who knows - if you like my work I may write some more! Wouldn't that be fun?! Needs Due South Fiction By DueSue@aol.com Part 3 Ray felt like he'd been walking forever. Would he ever get to the hospital? He decided he was due a break and sat down on a wooden bench at the edge of a park. He stared at the people walking there. He saw couples holding hands, joggers jogging, people taking their pets for a walk. Ray watched the events in the park with interest. His eyes flicked hopelessly about, looking for something, anything! Then suddenly his heart leapt! He thought he saw Diefenbaker running around in the park! Excitedly Ray jumped up and shouted to Dief. "HEY DIEF, HEY! HERE BOY!!" He stared, eyes wide hoping against hope that it was Dief. Then Ray realized what he was doing and started to laugh at himself. What was he doing? Dief was deaf! He couldn't hear him shouting. 'What an idiot I am!' He stood shading his eyes from the low sun, watching the white animal racing around happily. 'Yeah, it certainly looks like Dief. If only I could get his attention! Boy, I could really do with some company! And maybe Benny would be with him too?' Ray sat down again, knowing in his heart that it was useless - Dief would never hear him. If it was Dief! He hung his head and stared at his feet. He felt so alone. Three days later, to the amazement of everyone, Ray was still hanging on to life. He remained in a coma and still on the critical list. The doctor advised Mrs. Vecchio it was possible that, if Ray did indeed pull out of the coma, he may have permanent brain damage, causing severe physical incapacity. "Will my son be paralyzed?" Mrs. Vecchio asked tears in her eyes. "We're unable to do tests to ascertain the degree of paralysis with coma patients" Dr Clayton explained. "As the sedation wears off and time passes, all we can do is wait and see if motor functions return." He glanced around and then smiled at Mrs. Vecchio. "May I ask where you're other son is? I haven't seen him in a while" Mrs. Vecchio's face crumpled and she turned away sobbing. Dr Clayton, slightly bewildered patted her on the shoulder and walked away. After what seemed like an age Ray felt, rather than saw, someone standing at his side and looked up to find Irene Zuko standing there. "JEEZ! Irene! What the??" Ray gulped "What you doing here?" "Hi Ray" Irene smiled a sweet smile at him. He had loved her so much, all of his life really. When she had been killed Ray thought it would be the end of his life. "What's going on Irene? I don't understand" "It's okay Ray. I came to keep you company. Feel like having coffee with me?" Irene stood and motioned to him to go with her. "Sure, that'd be great" Ray took her hand and they walked across the park to a caf. The possibility that Dief was in the park, now completely forgotten. Ray clung on somehow. The medical team reported a slow improvement in his breathing. But they were very cautious and noncommittal. At last, Mrs. Vecchio could hold her son's hand and talk to him properly. Some of the machines had been removed and best of all; the nurse had removed some of the bandages from his head and face. She sat and stroked Ray's face. It was wonderful to be able to see all of his handsome face again. He looked like he was just sleeping and Mrs. Vecchio often remembered when Ray was just a babe in arms. How she loved her son! She prayed and prayed asking God to heal her son and promising anything to have him back whole again. It hurt her more than words could express that the hospital staff sent the family home in the evenings. She wanted to stay with her beautiful son, but the doctors were very strict with her. They knew that Mrs. Vecchio would remain at his bedside all night if she could. The Doctors told her it was "for her own good". Secretly she believed that they just wanted her out of the way. She was unaware that one member of her family usually came back to the hospital late at night and watched over Ray. They would often doze off sitting on a chair in Ray's room but usually they would end up falling asleep on a couch in the waiting area. All the same, they were never very far away from Ray. Two weeks passed and the number of tubes attached to Ray's body gradually disappeared. More tests to determine brain damage had been done, but he still remained in a coma. The healing process of the external damage had been rapid though: he no longer had the terrible bruising to his face. His jaw was healing nicely and the ophthalmic specialist thought Ray's eye would heal and there would not be any after effects. The Vecchio family came and went through out the day and night. Members of the 27th Precinct visited as often as they could. But no one ever saw Fraser. Lt. Welsh tried to comfort Mrs. Vecchio. But it was difficult. He thought that Ray would probably not pull through and he was worried about the moral of the squad. Kowalski didn't know what to do with him self. He wanted to be at the hospital with the family but then he knew he really didn't belong there. Welsh knew Kowalski felt uncomfortable at work now. He knew his role was over playing Ray Vecchio and was wondering what would happen in the future. Welsh was angry with Fraser. He had tried to get a hold of him but had had no luck. He wondered if Fraser had gone back to Canada. Maybe Thatcher had authorized a transfer for Fraser back up to the Yukon. Or maybe he had just up and left. Either way he wasn't here where he belonged. Kowalski hadn't seen him. No one had seen Fraser. Welsh decided that it was time to talk to Inspector Thatcher himself. She must know something. He really liked Big Red even though he was very irritating at times! He knew things wouldn't be the same around the squad room from now on. Elaine visited her friend as often as she could. Being a rookie cop, she had asked Welsh to put a good word in for her with her commander, just so he would let her swing by the hospital as often as possible. Elaine wondered about Fraser. She could not believe that he would desert his friend. They had always been perfect together. Ray used to complain about The Mountie but she knew that Ray had very deep feelings for Fraser. Some had even implied that Ray's feelings were more.. of a homosexual nature. God she hated those people who had said that. There could never be anything like that between Ray and Benton. Secretly, she was in love with The Mountie, but she had never made it known. Elaine didn't want to be like Frannie. Francesca really put Fraser on the spot when she played those silly 'come on' tricks. Elaine had even asked to be transferred to another precinct when she passed her entrance exams. She decided that if Fraser didn't want her, then she had to try and get her life together someplace else. She couldn't face seeing Fraser every day feeling the way she did about him! Elaine hadn't seen him since the day the news broke about Ray. She decided that she should go and see him and find out what was going on. Frannie believed that Fraser had just decided not to visit Ray. He had just given up on him. 'What was he doing?' she thought as she sat visiting with Ray. 'He really is strange. I'm glad he's not here' Mrs. Vecchio just wanted Fraser with her. She loved him as a son and his place was with Ray and his family. Her heart ached for him and she wondered where he was. It was hard for her not to be at the hospital all the time but she felt that she had to go to church and pray as often as possible. She knew God would hear her prayers and heal her son but just to be on the safe side, she sought Father Behan's comfort when she felt particularly alone. Mrs. Vecchio prayed for Fraser also. She knew he was also alone and suffering. He needed the Vecchio family just as much as she needed him. Ray glanced at his watch. He couldn't believe how quickly the time had passed. They had never stopped talking and now he realized that it was getting dark. "Hey Irene, what time you got? It's getting dark outside" He glanced at his watch again and was shocked to see the time was 11.15pm. Irene smiled at him and reached across to take his hand. "What does it matter Ray? We haven't seen each other in so long and I wanted to say so much to you before..." Her voice tailed off and she gazed into Ray's green eyes. He took her hand in both of his and smiled at her. It did feel good to be with her again. Just to be able to talk about old times and be with her. She looked just as wonderful as when he had seen her last. "Want something to eat?" Ray grabbed a menu and scanning down the list. "Sure that would be nice Ray" Irene pushed back her hair and stared at her companion. She remembered just how much she had loved him when they were kids. Nothing had changed - she still adored him. "You know Ray we can be together now - forever. We never have to be parted again. No one can hurt either of us again" Irene picked up her menu and studied it intently. Ray looked across at her wondering what she meant. 'Never be parted' He was confused. He felt a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. 'Maybe I'm just hungry' he thought. But the very thought of food made him feel a little sick. 'No there was something else going on here' "Irene. What did you mean by 'be together forever'?" Irene looked up at him "Just what I said. Now you're here we can always be together - as we were meant to be! Isn't it great Ray? I can hardly believe it myself" She smiled at him; she was so lit up, so excited by the thought. But Ray felt strange, as though he was missing something or had something to do. "Yeah that'll be great!" he said without much enthusiasm. "But what do I do about the job. I still have to go to work. - bring in the money so we can survive' "Oh we won't need money Ray, you don't have to work anymore. We can just be together - always" Irene stirred her coffee and smiled at Ray. He looked around them. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. There was lots of activity in the restaurant. People coming and going. Ray stared out of the window. It was light again. He rubbed a hand over his eyes and looked again. 'Yeah, it's definitely getting light out there now - what the hell is going on?' Ray was growing more and more concerned. Something strange was happening. "Irene, there's something strange going on here, I swear it was dark a minute ago" Irene looked at Ray and laughed "That's just silly Ray!" Ray suddenly felt really ill - like real bad and a name popped into his mind 'BENNY!' He stared at Irene and suddenly it all came flooding back. He now remembered what was happening. "Geez, how long have we been in here Irene?" He stood up quickly, his chair toppling over and stared about anxiously. "Ray? What's wrong? Sit down Ray, we haven't even had our dinner yet!" Irene was looking up at him, a concerned look on her face. "No Irene, I gotta go - and right now!" Ray started to walk away but Irene hurried after him, grabbing his arm. "Ray! Wait!" Ray glanced about the restaurant, not one person was taking any notice of them and their raised voices. He looked down at Irene and saw that she was crying. "Oh hey don't cry, I'll be back" He gathered her into his arms and held her tightly. "No Ray. You won't be back. If you leave me now, you can never come back to me" She sobbed into his chest and Ray smoothed her hair. "Shush. Don't cry. I need to go and see Benny. I'm in trouble and need to sort it out, fast. I kinda lost my way back there for a while but I'm back on track again now." Irene looked up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "But I need you here with me Ray. I'm so lonely. Please won't you stay with me? Please?" "I gotta go Irene, I'm sorry" Ray felt a strong urge, a pull towards the hospital, to something unseen. "Go then Ray Vecchio - If you want to be with him more than me, then I don't want you here. Go! Get out!" Irene turned away and sat down again. Ray stared at her, bewildered. He did want to stay with Irene but then again he knew he had to get going again. Somehow he knew something was wrong and had to get going again. He took a step toward her. "Irene..." She never looked up "Irene, I'm sorry, I have to go" Ray turned and walked out of the restaurant. Suddenly he felt like he was going to be okay again, back on track. He turned the corner and hurried on down the street. Stan was also wondering what the hell was going on with Fraser. No one had seen him. Stan had thought it was a good idea at the time, letting Fraser work things through for himself. Now he was beginning to wonder. On the spur of the moment he decided to call on Meg at work. He may bump into Fraser at the same time. Hopefully! 'Stan, how nice to see you" Meg was smiling at Stan but her eyes were tense. She held out a hand motioning him to sit across from her at her desk. "Would you like coffee?" Stan nodded silently Walking to the door she called out to the Mountie sitting in the reception hall. "Turnbull?" "Sir?" He stood to attention awaiting her every command. "Coffee Turnbull, for two." "Sir, right away Sir" Meg closed the door behind her and sat down at her desk. "What can I do for you Stan?" "Well I was wondering if you had any thoughts on how Fraser's doing?" Meg glanced down at her folded hands and then looked up at him through long dark lashes. She took a deep breath. "Funny you should mention that Stan, I was going to call you to discuss the Fraser situation. I don't think we should discuss the matter here. It is too delicate. I wondered if you would like to have dinner at my place this evening? It would be a much more private atmosphere in which to discuss... Constable Fraser" "That'd be great Meg, what time shall I come over" Stan's mind clicked into overdrive. 'She wanted to discuss the 'Fraser situation'?' "How about 7.30pm, I shall cook something Italian, will that be okay with you?" Meg smiled at Stan "Fine. Thanks for inviting me over." Stan stood, as there was a knock on the door. "Come." The smile on Meg's face disappeared as Fraser stepped into the room. Stan saw the look on her face and turned to see his friend bringing coffee. 'Oh My God' Stan thought as he stared at Fraser. He couldn't believe his eyes. Fraser was in real trouble. Oh, he was smartly dressed as usual - red serge, boots etc, but he looked dreadful! His face seemed...slack, expressionless, as though he had suffered an injury, maybe even a stroke! Fraser looked haggard and tired. And he seemed to have lost weight. Stan could hardly speak. "F.. Frase...Hey buddy how are you? Not seen you in a while!" Stan held out his hand as if to shake his friends'. Fraser placed the tray of coffee on the side table and stood to attention, arms behind his back. "Fine thank you Stan" Fraser answered in an exhausted voice. Fraser turned to Insp. Thatcher. "Would there be anything else Ma'am?" "Thank you Constable, that will be all" Meg waved Fraser out of the room. Fraser turned and walked away before Stan could utter a word. Stan looked at Meg and then glanced at the door as it was closing behind Fraser. 'I...Wha, what the hell happened to him?" Stan was stunned by Fraser's appearance. "Let's discuss it this evening shall we? I wouldn't want anyone to overhear our conversation" Meg stood, a sad look on her face. "Sure, sure. Yeah okay what ever you want" Stan walked away shaking his head. He closed the door and headed out of the Consulate glancing about him for Fraser. But he was nowhere to be seen. At 7.25pm, Stan stood on Meg's doorstep, a bottle of wine in one hand, flowers in the other. Meg opened the door and motioned for him to enter. "Come in Stan" Stan held out the flowers and wine. "Where do you want these?" His tone was short. Meg looked at Stan as she took the flowers from his hand. He seemed annoyed about something. "Oh their lovely, thank you. Please come into the kitchen. You can put the wine into the cooler" Stan followed Meg into the kitchen where she ran water into a vase and began arranging the flowers into a display. Stan placed the wine into the fridge. "Help yourself to wine Stan, there's a bottle of red already open on the counter top over there" Meg gestured to the wine with the point of the scissors. "Thanks" Stan poured himself a large glass of wine and then leaned back against the counter. There was a heavy silence between them. Meg took a deep breath. "Is something wrong Stan?" Meg stared into Stan's eyes. They seemed so hard. "Yeah there's something wrong. Why have you been workin Fraser so hard? He looks goddamn awful! I thought you were gonna give him some time to sort himself out?" Stan took a large mouthful of wine and glared at Meg. "Now just a minute Stanley! I haven't been working him 'so hard' as you put it! He's doing it all himself! And don't give me the 'cop treatment'. I don't like it!" Meg angrily trimmed the bottom of the stems with a wicked snip of the scissors. Stan watched Meg as she arranged the flowers. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe he had jumped to conclusions. Stan rubbed the back of his neck and held out his hand. "Sorry Meg, but it was such a shock to see Frase like that. I just assumed..." "Yes that's what Vecchio always used to do" Meg interrupted Stan. "Assume. Well I have not worked him into the ground for your information. This issue needs further discussion. Constable Fraser has been up to something. Don't ask me what, I've tried talking to him but it does no good. He is very closed mouthed about it. I cannot understand what happened with Vecchio but I believe it is all wrapped up in him " She banged the scissors down onto the counter top and stared at Stan. "What ever happened with Vecchio has ruined up my best officer! Now, everything's prepared. Let's eat!" Meg picked up the vase and made to go around the butcher's block she had been working at. Stan took a step and blocked her passage into the dining room. He could see that she was very angry. He wasn't sure if it was with him, Fraser or Vecchio, but she was real MAD. "I'm sorry Meg, you're right. Let's talk about it over dinner, I'm starved!" Stan smiled at her hoping to calm her down. He now realized why everyone called her the Dragon Lady! She had a sharp hot tongue when she was angry. Dinner was a very civilized but quiet affair with little conversation. Stan helped clear up the dishes. Meg stood silently in the kitchen loading the dishwasher. Stan carried in the last of the plates and handed them over to her. As she took the plates Stan put his hand over hers. "Meg. We have to talk. What's wrong? You've been very quiet all evening. You have to tell me what's going on? Please?" Meg stared into his eyes. Then turned away and put the plates in the dishwasher. Stan took hold of her shoulders and turned her to face him. He smiled at her sad expression. "Come on Meg we can sort this lot out, I know we can!" "You don't understand. I..I had..I have.. Had feelings for Fraser, once over. I am, I was attracted to him. But it was not right. A commanding officer having feelings like that for a subordinate." She tried to turn away but Stan held her still, his eyes fixed on hers. "So there must be something you can do. Transfer him out of here. Or.." Meg interrupted him. "I don't think that would be fair to Fraser. He has no family in Canada that I'm aware of, and to send him back there would be wrong of me. I don't know if Fraser has any feelings for me but I do know that his friends are here - you and Vecchio - and that he needs you both and the life he has here. No Stan, there is no future for us. Besides I'm not what he needs" "What does he need Meg?" Stan watched as tears formed in her eyes. He longed to hold her but realized that she probably didn't want him. "Fraser has great potential in the RCMP. He could have a great career and he needs someone he can care for, someone who will depend on him and support him. A woman who can give him everything he needs and be there for him. That's not me. I want a career. I'm ambitious and want promotion. I want to go on to bigger and better things. I want to make a name for myself in the force. If Fraser has any feelings for me, I won't be the one who kills them because we both want a career. And that's what would happen, Stan. What Fraser needs, is someone who'll always be there. I realize that now. I was crazy to think there could ever be anything between us!" Meg stared at Stan tears falling from her eyes. Stan took her in his arms and held her close. "You're soft and beautiful and if Fraser can't see that then he's a fool. I can see through you Meg. I can see inside you. You deserve better than that." Stan stroked her hair and she laid her head on his shoulder. Stan felt her start to relax in his arms and gradually she put her arms around him and wept silently. After a few minutes Meg sniffed, wiped her eyes and excused herself to freshen up. Stan made more coffee and when she returned she looked as though nothing had happened. Meg smiled at him and they moved into the living room to talk. "Stan. I would appreciate it if you would not reveal any of this, ah, conversation to anyone. Let it be our secret?" She seemed a little awkward with him now but Stan could understand why. "Lets talk about what's happening to Fraser shall we? Tell me everything you know." Stan poured coffee as Meg began to explain. "Fraser has been working extremely hard. He is at his desk, well, every minute of the day. He is always fully occupied. He finds jobs to do when there aren't any. I've even tried to catch him out by walking into his office without warning. He is always busy. I tried to get him to take a day off and go see Vecchio but he looked awkward and just said he was too busy." Meg sipped her coffee and glanced at Stan. "Well he ain't been to see Ray since.. Well since I don't know when! No one has seen him at the hospital. Everybody's worried about him at the station house. I just keep putting them off with the excuse of 'letting him get on with his life" and 'let him work it out for himself', but it seems he's been avoiding everyone." Stan stood up and paced about. "Well Stan, that's not all. He's been doing something strange at night. I noticed it one night when I was working late. He worked up to at least 11pm and then went out. I waited one night for a late telephone call. I was still in my office at about 11.30pm and Fraser was still working at that time. I left shortly after midnight and deliberately sat in my car watching the Consulate. Fraser and the wolf came out 10 minutes after me and walked away." Meg rolled her head on her neck and watched as Stan sat down again. "Maybe he was talking Dief for a walk?" "No Stan. I waited for 30 minutes. He never came back. I'm not sure where he goes but it's always late at night. At first I thought he may be at the hospital." Meg held up her hand to stop Stan for interrupting. "I checked one night. I went to the hospital myself. He wasn't there" Stan and Meg stared at each other, both thinking about Fraser and what he could be up to. "You think he could be drinking Meg?" Stan frowned. "Well I have never smelt alcohol on his breath whilst he has been at work" Stan nodded "No I can't believe that he would be drinking. He just hasn't got it in him, you think?" Meg shook her head. "Do you think he could be, well. could be taking some form of drug?" "God knows Meg" Stan closed his eyes in despair. "Aw Shit I hope not! But I'm gonna find out. I'm gonna have to tail him after work. I need to find out what the hell's going on" Stan looked at his watch and stood up. "Look Meg, I'm sorry but I gotta get up for the early shift. I gotta get going." "It's been a pleasant evening Stan. Thank you for coming. And thank you for your shoulder?" Meg smoothed down her hair and walked with Stan into the hallway. "No probs. I've really enjoyed tonight Meg. The meal was wonderful. Thank you for having me. And my shoulder is available anytime you need it." Stan shrugged into his overcoat and smiled at Meg. "Maybe you'll let me cook next time?" She smiled at him "That would be very nice. I'll look forward to it Stan" "Great, I'll call you. I'll let you know what happens with Fraser too. Good night Meg" On an impulse he kissed Meg on the cheek. "Night Stan" Meg watched as Stan got in his car. He drove away as Meg closed the door. Next morning Stan stood in the shower. One arm supporting his weight, he leaned against the tiles, his head lowered. He let the scalding hot water run down his lean body while he agonized over the problem. Stan knew that he was alone in this, without any help from anyone in the squad. He knew Fraser needed someone to help him and he knew it was up to him to help his friend. Fraser was dog-tired. He could hardly see, never mind think. He knew that he had to finish the report tonight for Inspector Thatcher or she would certainly transfer him back to the Yukon. He closed his eyes and rested his head on his hand. Oh God he was tired! He couldn't remember the last time he has been so tired and he certainly couldn't remember when he had eaten last. Dief had started to hang around with Turnbull lately. It was as though Dief had decided to desert him too. Everyone seemed to these days. Fraser drifted off to sleep and found himself wandering around his old apartment searching for something. It had been a long time since the building had burnt down. But nothing seemed to have changed. Still the same dreary outlook! How he longed for the wide-open spaces of Canada! He walked across to the window and gazed down to the street. A green Buick Rivera was parked outside his building. Fraser leaned nearer to the window to stare at the familiar car, looking for his friend. 'Where's Ray?' Suddenly there was a loud explosion and a huge ball of flame engulfed the Rivera. Fraser stared down at the burning car in horror. "RAY!!". He awoke with a start and realized that he had fallen asleep at his desk. He wiped his face with a hand and took a shaky breath. Maybe it would be better if he was transferred. At least he wouldn't have people constantly looking at him, questioning him. He'd caught Inspector Thatcher watching him when she thought he wasn't looking. He knew that she was worried about him, they all were and he was getting a little bored with constantly having to avoid their stares and so called concern. He was glad that he had other distractions at the moment. At least he had something to look forward to after work. He never let his work slide, he couldn't afford to otherwise Thatcher may throw him out of the consulate. Fraser picked up the document again and proceeded with the work in hand. Stan laid in wait for Fraser. He knew he had to come out of the Consulate sooner or later. Probably much later knowing Fraser! He looked at the clock on the dash - 2.15am. 'Geez, I hope this is worth it' Stan shook his head trying keep awake. He pulled his jacket closer around him and shivered. He had parked across the street from the Consulate. After leaving Meg's he had gone home and sat up half the night thinking. He knew he should have gone to bed but couldn't sleep when he got there for worrying about Fraser. It was real late and Stan was starting to think that Fraser had gone to bed, when the Consulate door opened and Fraser emerged. Stan saw that Fraser was not in uniform. He slid lower down in his seat and watched as Fraser crossed over the street and began walking straight towards the car. Stan started to panic, wondering what he would say to Fraser if he saw him sitting in the car. Then realized that if Fraser did discover him sitting there, he could always say that he had come to visit with him. Suddenly a car turned the corner and pulled in to the sidewalk. Fraser got in and the car pulled away. Stan started the car and followed at a discreet distance. After a few blocks he saw the car turn down an alleyway and stop. Stan hung back and watched whilst two figures, one of which, he assumed, was Fraser, walk into the side entrance of a building. Stan locked the car and walked down the alleyway. 'What the hell has Fraser got himself into?' Stan thought. This sort of behavior was not like Fraser. Stan was glad he could feel the reassuring bulge of his gun under his coat as he investigated the alleyway. He might just need it! As he approached the door where Fraser had entered the building he could hear voices. He strained to hear what was being said. He swore he could hear a woman's voice but he couldn't be sure. He tried the door - locked! Stan turned and decided to look for another entrance. He walked around to the front of the building but all lights were off and all doors locked. 'Damn!' He realized that he would not be able to get in without Fraser finding out he was being followed. Stan sat in the car thinking about the situation and what he could do. 'Fraser looked and acted like death - which could mean: a) Drugs? - Possible? Nah! b) Drink? - Maybe but unlikely c) Health problem? - Definite maybe, the way he looks! d) Sex? - No way Jose! This is Fraser you're talking about! e) Crime? - Yeah possible could be. Plans: 1) Smell his breath for alcohol? Meg thinks not. 2) Try and get that damn jacket off and have a look at his arms for track marks? 3) See a doctor. Maybe a doctor can tell what's wrong with him without seeing him? Shaking his head, Stan spoke out loud in disgust "Geez Frase what have you got yourself into?" He sat for a while in the car thinking about how he was to corner Fraser. It was 3.55am and Stan knew he had to get some sleep. No one had come out of the building as yet and there seemed no sign of anyone coming out anytime soon. He made a mental note of the address, started the car and with a shake of his head drove away. At 10 after 5, Fraser left the building and began to walk back to the Consulate. Dief trotted along behind wondering when they were ever going to curl up on a nice soft bed. "Turnbull? Put me through to Inspector Thatcher - it's urgent" Stan threw yet more paperwork into his out-tray without even looking at it. One of these days he would really have to sort out his desk. "Inspector Thatcher here" "Hi Meg, it's me. Look I've been staking out Fraser over the last two nights. God knows what he's up to. Both nights he left the consulate, usually after midnight and goes to an old building on the eastside of the city. He never comes out while I'm there but then I have fallen asleep a few times. Anyway, I've investigated the building and found out that a guy owns it from Baltimore. Have you noticed any other changes?" "Well, Fraser has worked very hard over the last week. He has actually caught up on all the work left from his predecessor and mine! I don't seem him often, he is usually too busy in his office. The wolf has started to spend more time with Turnbull than Fraser too. He must know something is wrong with him. I've tried to talk to Fraser but..." Meg's voice trailed off. "Well I need to see him face to face otherwise I'm never going to find out what's going on. Can you get Fraser out on an errand? If I can meet up with him, maybe offer to buy lunch, coffee or something I can get him talking and get to the bottom of this." "I will send him out on an errand this afternoon if that's convenient? By the way, how is Vecchio?" "No change. Still in a coma. Family's there, squad visits him in the hospital, everybody does except Fraser! Welsh is starting to quiz me about him. I've tried to keep them off his back but Fraser doesn't seem to be getting it together at all. I've really gotta help him Meg." "I understand Stan. He really does not appreciate how much of a friend you are to him." "Yeah well I'm gonna get this sorted out if it's the last thing I do. Can you get Fraser to go out to the Deli Caf on 45th? I'll be in there from 4 o'clock I have the afternoon off. I can spend some time with him." "Very well Stan. I will send Fraser out at about 3.45. It should take him maybe 15 minutes to get there. You should expect him around 4pm. Will you let me know what happens Stan?" "Sure, no problem Meg. I'll call as soon as I can." Meg put down the phone and walked to the door. "Turnbull, send Constable Fraser in will you?" "Straight away Sir" Meg walked back to her desk and reached for her purse. Pulling out a $10 bill and an envelope, she folded he bill in half and placed it on her desk along with the envelope. Fraser walked in her office. "You wanted me Sir?" Meg turned to look at Fraser. She was used to seeing him like this now. It wasn't a shock anymore. He was pale and drawn. His eyes seemed blank, with no expression. He seemed thin; his uniform jacket didn't seem to hang just right. Meg longed to have the old Fraser back. No matter how irritating he was. It would be nice to just have him answer her back, smile that small smile of his - when he let it show. And how he would rub his thumb against his eyebrow, when he was deep in thought. It was strange to see him like this. The man in front of her was still a Mountie but Fraser was hardly there anymore. "Ah yes Fraser. I need you to go on an errand for me. There is $10, go over to the Caf Deli on 45th and buy.. 8 doughnuts and a cherry cheese Danish. Oh and while your out you may as well take my mail" Meg pointed to the money and letter on the desk and Fraser picked them up without expression. "Will that be all Sir?" "Yes Fraser. Dismissed" She turned away and stared out of the window. Behind her, she could hear Fraser leave the office. She could hear his footsteps down the corridor and then the Consulate door close behind him. Silently she prayed Stan would be able to help Fraser. Someone needed to. Stan stirred his coffee and looked at his watch again. '10 after 4 Where the hell was he?' He scratched his ear and stared out of the window. He had deliberately sat in a spot that gave him a good view of the street in the direction Fraser would be coming from. He scanned the people on the street, looking for that distinctive hat of his. 'There! He was coming!' Stan stood up and hurried to the door waiting for Fraser to enter. He watched him open the outer door and then Stan made his move. He deliberately walked into his friend. "Oh sorry... Hey Fraser! How you doing?" Stan grabbed Fraser by the arm and held on to him. Fraser looked into Stan's eyes "Fine thank you Stan. Now if you'll excuse me I have an errand to run." Fraser made to push past him but Stan held on. "Hey wait up. I was just going but you wanna a cup of coffee with me? We can catch up. I haven't seen you in a while." "I really don't have the time to sit and talk. Now if you'll excuse me?" This time Fraser pulled his arm away from Stan and started to push past him. "Now wait a minute!" Stan snapped back. "We are supposed to be friends. You sayin' you can't spare 10 minutes for your FRIEND?!" Stan looked into Fraser's blue eyes and found no expression. He had pushed Fraser aside and towards a booth. "Sit down Fraser I wanna talk to you. Can we get two coffees over here please?" Stan called to a waitress. Fraser stared at Stan and seemed to be considering what he had said. "Well, if you really insist" "Yeah I do Fraser. I do. Now sit!" Stan had pushed him into the booth and sat down across from him. Fraser removed his Stetson and placed it on the seat beside him, he began to remove his gloves but stopped suddenly. Fraser just unfastened his coat instead, leaving his gloves on. He put his gloved hands down below the level of the table. "What would you like to talk about Stan?" He stared across at him now, his face hard and expressionless. "I just wanna know how you are buddy. You never come around to the station house no more. No one ever sees you at the hospital visiting with Ray" Stan watched Fraser's face for reaction to his mention of Ray. Fraser swallowed and looked down at the table. "You don't look so good. You eating ok?" Stan tried again. "Here's your coffee sir, can I get you anything else?" The waitress smiled at Stan as she put the coffee on the table. "No. Thanks. Unless you want something else Fraser?" Stan grinned at his friend who looked up at the waitress for a moment. "Yes. Would you get me 8 donuts and 1 cherry cheese Danish to go please? Fraser asked. "Sure, back in a sec" She threw a quick smile at Stan and walked away. "Nice legs don't you think Fraser" He grinned at his friend. Fraser didn't reply. "Here's your coffee Frase" Stan pushed the cup towards his friend and then stirred sugar into his own. "You know, we all miss you in the squad room Fraser. When you gonna come round and see us? Fraser did not touch his coffee and Stan held out some creamer. "Here. You still take cream in your coffee?" Fraser looked at Stan and then at the creamer in his palm. Reaching out with his right hand he took a carton from his friend but made no move to add it to his coffee. His hand disappeared again beneath the table. Stan noticed Fraser's gloves. "If you're staying you can take off your gloves you know Frase" "I am quite comfortable. Thank you Stan" Fraser stared out of the window at the falling snow. Lights were coming on in apartment windows and shops. It was getting dark already. Stan thought it was a little strange for Fraser not to take off his gloves. He tried again. "Have you hurt your hand Fraser?" "I said I am quite comfortable Thank you!" Fraser's voice now seemed to take on a gritty edge to it. "Okay, okay!" The waitress placed a brown paper bag on the table. "There you go Sir. $8.38 please" She smiled down at Fraser again, but he only held out a $10 bill. "Keep the change" "Thanks" She took the bill and walked away again pushing her hair behind her ear. Stan was intrigued by Fraser's reluctance to show his hands. He tried to keep his mouth talking whilst watching his friend deliberately keep his hands out of sight. "You know Fraser, I don't understand why you don't come round to the station house anymore. You have a lot of friends there. They want to see you - especially Welsh. He's on my case all the time, wanting to know if you've been transferred or not, what's wrong with you, an' stuff like that. You gotta help me out here Frase; give me something to tell them. Anything! That you'll come and see Welsh and explain yourself what's going on or something" All the while Fraser stared at Stan, hardly an expression crossed his face. His hands still hidden. "You not drinking your coffee Fraser?" Fraser glanced at the cup of cooling coffee. "No Stan I was not thirsty in the first place" Stan smiled "O'kay, can I buy you something else? Donut or something?" "I should go, Inspector Thatcher needs me to run an errand for her." Fraser made to get up but Stan reached across and gripped his shoulder. "No don't go Fraser. I need to talk to you. Besides, I was just going to ask you to come to dinner at Scarpetta's Place tonight" Stan was grasping at straws now. He had to find a way of getting Fraser to open up, to try and get back in to his life. "I'm sorry Stan I really have to go. Inspector Thatcher will not wait" Fraser stood up and reached for his Stetson and the bag of donuts. Stan caught sight of his wrist as he reached for that famous hat of his. There were strange red marks, which disappeared up the sleeve of his red serge jacket. Stan's heart sank. 'Was Fraser injecting something? Or had he tried to commit suicide?' Fraser placed the Stetson on his head and fastened up his pea coat. "Thank you for the coffee Stan" "No probs Frase." Stan watched as Fraser turned and walked to the door. "Hey wait up Fraser, let me give you a lift to the Consulate?" He threw $3 on the table and hurried to catch up with his friend. "NO! Stan, Thank you" Fraser's voice was sharp and he glared at Stan before walking quickly away in the direction of the Consulate. Stan watched as his friend disappeared into the darkness. His heart ached for Fraser. What could he do to help him? He hung his head in despair. He knew Fraser was in real trouble. He unlocked the car and jumped in. Stan had no idea what he could do now. He knew that Fraser needed something to bring him to his senses. It did seem as though Fraser was still avoiding the whole Ray issue. Stan rubbed his face and blew out a long breath. He had to think! He racked his brain. As far as he could tell Fraser had shut out everyone. He was doing something that Stan felt was not right. What the hell was he doing in that building most nights? When was he sleeping and eating? Why had he just let go of everything that mattered? Stan glanced at his watch - it was getting late. He started the car and drove away, not knowing exactly where he was going but going there anyway. A while later Stan found himself at the hospital. He entered ICU and found Mrs. Vecchio and Frannie in the waiting area. "Hey Frannie? What's going on?" "Oh Hi Stan. The doctor is just changing Ray's dressings" Frannie smiled at Stan "Listen Frannie, you think I could talk to your mom for a minute?" "Sure. Let me introduce you" Frannie turned to her mother who had her rosary beads in her hand and was silently praying. "Mom, I'd like to introduce you to Det. Stan Kowalski. He, well he was Ray's replacement in the squad" Mrs. Vecchio looked up and smiled at Stan. "Yes, Benton has spoken of you" "Can I talk to you about Fraser Mrs. Vecchio?" Stan smiled back. "Of course Det., please sit down" "You want me to leave Stan?" Frannie put her hand protectively on her mother's arm. "No Frannie I want to talk to you too" Stan sat on the low coffee table opposite Mrs. Vecchio and Frannie. "What I need to know is when you last saw Fraser? Mrs. Vecchio's eyes filled with tears. "I no see him for many days now. You know where he is?" Frannie had an angry look in her eyes as she turned to Stan. "I don't want to see him. He's not welcome here!" Mrs. Vecchio stared at Frannie in disbelief. "What are you saying child? What has happened?" "Look Ma he deserted Ray, he deserted us. WE needed him here and he just abandoned us. I told him we didn't want to see him again" Frannie looked first at her mother and then at Stan. Stan frowned at both women. "That may be the reason he's acting the way he is. No one has seen him here for at least 10 days. He doesn't come to the squad anymore. I haven't seen him myself. He's a real mess!" "Serves him right!" Frannie glared at Stan "And he shouldn't come round here!" "Don't you say that Francesca! What have you done? Tell me!" Mrs. Vecchio had an angry tone to her voice. "Oh Ma, I went to see him, at the Consulate. I told him." Frannie took a breath "I told him that we didn't want to see him again and.." Frannie's voice trailed off. "And?" Both Stan and Mrs. Vecchio waited for her answer. "And that, that we, I hated him. And that he wasn't welcome at our home any more!" Frannie couldn't look at her mother and put her head down. Mrs. Vecchio stared at her daughter. What had she done? She lapsed into Italian and Francesca blushed with embarrassment. "Cosa penzi stevi fa - cendo?! Lui e come un fio mio. Come lei e una fia mia. Tu sei una cattivo Donna. Tu devi pregano che lui ti perdone" Stan scratched his forehead and let his eyes wander about the room. He felt embarrassed seeing Mrs. Vecchio give Frannie an obvious lashing with her tongue. "You have disappointed me. I thought I had brought you up to be better than this Francesca! You are the reason he not come here anymore. Why he not see me" Mrs. Vecchio turned to Stan with sad eyes. "I must speak to him. Must see Benton. Please can you help us?" She held out her hand to Stan. "Fraser's really out of it at the moment. He, he doesn't want to talk to me. I've been trying to decide what else I can do but I'm all out of ideas." Stan gripped Mrs. Vecchio's hand. "And Fraser may have been getting into stuff that's real bad!" Mrs. Vecchio eyed Stan. "What do you mean?" Stan bit his lower lip. "That he may be getting into drugs or worse!" Mrs. Vecchio closed her eyes and sobbed into her hand. "Oh my God Frannie, What have you done to him?" She grasped Stan's arm "You should put her in jail for what she do! Benton needs us!" To Francesca she pointed her finger "Francesca! He is suffering! He needs his family too!" She put down her head and sobbed again. Stan looked at Frannie, who was crying now too. "Oh Mama, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" "Do not apologize to me Francesca. Apologize to Benton! You are such a bad, bad girl!" Then Mrs. Vecchio took her daughter into her arms and rocked her as she wept. "Please Det. You must help him. What can you do?" "I'm gonna have to think about this a while. I'm all out of ideas." Stan chewed on the inside of his lip, deep in thought. "The only thing I can see at the moment is that Fraser is easily annoyed. He seems to get upset for no reason. Maybe I can use that" "What will that do apart from making him more upset?" Frannie sniffed as she stared at Stan. "Maybe I can get Fraser here to see Ray by upsetting him? Can you make sure no one's here tonight? I need to have Ray alone." Frannie nodded and Stan stood up. "I'll do the best I can for you Mrs. Vecchio. I promise" Mrs. Vecchio stood and kissed Stan on each cheek. "You are a wonderful man Det. Thank you" Stan grinned "Hey no probs. See you later" Stan left and headed for the elevator. "Stan!" He turned to see Frannie running after him. "Stan wait, I need to ask you something" She stood looking up at him, her eyes moist with tears. "Will you, will you tell Benton that I'm sorry and that I didn't mean it?" Stan put his arms around her and squeezed her tightly. "Sure Frannie, but you do need to say this to him yourself you know?" "Yes I know and I will, I promise" She smiled as he released her. "Strange isn't it, My real brother is in ICU in critical condition and my stand-in brother is trying to help out the man who is like a brother to you both" "Yeah real weird!" Stan knocked on the consulate door. After a few moments he heard footsteps approaching. Turnbull opened the door to Stan. "Det. How may I help you?" "Hey Turnbull. Let us in will ya, it's freezing out here!" Stan pushed past Turnbull and stepped into the brightly-lit reception hall. "I was just preparing to lock up Det. Everyone has left for the night. Well except for Constable Fraser that is. He's still at work. But he lives here. He can work as long as he likes I suppose. And he does. Work that is, all the time. You understand?" "Yeah, yeah Turnbull. I know. Where is he?" Stan stared about him looking for Fraser. "He is in Inspector Thatcher's office at the moment. Filing. That is to say he is doing Inspector Thatcher's filing. It hasn't been done for a while and Constable Fraser is awfully good at...." "Thanks Turnbull." Stan walked away from him and his blathering. Turnbull stared after him wondering what to do. Should he phone Inspector Thatcher? Stan pushed open the door to Meg's office and saw Fraser bending over a filing cabinet. "Hey Frase!" Stan's voice startled Fraser and he turned quickly "Stan! May I ask what you are doing here at this time of night?" Fraser stood up straight, his arms and hands held behind his back. "I came to see you Fraser. We need to talk" "We talked this afternoon Stan. Now if you'll excuse me?" Fraser made to turn back to his filing but Stan quickly walked towards him and grabbed his arm. "No Fraser, I won't excuse you. We need to talk and we need to talk now!" Stan's heart was beating fast now and the adrenaline was starting to flow. Fraser pulled his arm away and took a step towards Stan. "Who do you think you are? Coming in here and demanding to talk to me? I have work to do. If you don't leave immediately, I shall have you thrown out." Stan knew he had to get Fraser mad at him. He hoped that he could work Fraser up into the right kind of mood. 'Here goes!' "What? Who the hell do you think you are? You're just a stupid Canadian Mountie who doesn't know when to stop. You drive me nuts, you know? You and you're crazy annoying ways. Always risking our lives. Doing stupid stunts. Making me jump off buildings and stuff. You really annoy me you know Fraser? An all that 'Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray' stuff, trying to get my attention. Just 'cos I sometimes go off a little don't mean to say that you can treat me like I'm an idiot! Yeah, an you're always so straight laced. You never want to come out and have some fun. You're so boring Fraser!" Fraser glared at Stan, his arms at his sides now, his fists clenched into tight balls. Stan could almost see steam coming out of his ears. Stan hoped that getting at Fraser's father would do the trick. "You and you're so called heroic Dad! Not another stupid Mountie! I'm sick of 'em and how God knows how Ray Vecchio ever put up with you" Fraser stepped quickly towards him and he knew by Fraser's face, that he had actually managed to get him real angry. Fraser grabbed Stan by the collar with both hands and shoved him back against the wall. His face so close he was almost touching Stan's. He spoke very quietly but with a tone Stan had never heard from Fraser. "DON'T EVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO ME AGAIN!" Stan's heart was racing and he knew it was now or never. He grabbed the red serge and pushed his face into Fraser's and snarled back at him. "And you are supposed to be my PARTNER. You're a useless son-of-a-bitch! I wish I'd never taken the assignment! We never should have been partnered together! You should go back to Canada where you belong. We don't need you here!" Fraser's eyes glittered with rage. He drew back his arm and delivered a powerful punch to Stan's jaw. Stan fell as if pole axed. Fraser bent and grabbed a hand full the fallen man's shirt and dragged him back to his feet to strike him again. Stan dodged his fist this time and managed to get behind Fraser. He grabbed him by the neck in a strangle hold and then twisted Fraser's arm up his back with some considerable force. He snarled in Fraser's ear. "That's it, You're busted!" Fraser started to struggle but Stan only yanked his arm higher up his back, causing Fraser to utter a sharp "AHH!" "Oh no, you're not going any where!" Stan reached to his belt and pulled off his handcuffs. Then he proceeded to handcuff Fraser whilst reading him his rights. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand?" Fraser nodded. All the while Stan handcuffed him, Fraser stood silently. Stan got a good look at his friend's hands now and could tell that they were cut and bruised. There even seemed to be some blisters on the palms. He jerked at the cuffs as if to make sure they were fastened correctly. The rush of adrenaline was over and he felt terrible. He really hated doing this but he couldn't think of anything else to do. Stan winced as he rubbed his jaw and blew out a long hard breath. Fraser certainly had quite a punch! Turnbull appeared at the door, his mouth open and eyes wide. "What's the matter Turnbull? Never seen anyone get arrested before?" Stan grinned at the shocked Mountie. "I've never seen Constable Fraser get arrested before! I think I should call Inspector Thatcher!" "What ever. I'm taking the Mountie here downtown, if anyone is interested. Come on lets go" Stan put a hand on the middle of Fraser's back and gently pushed him towards the door. Fraser stared at Stan, anger still in his eyes. "May I get my hat?" "Nah, I get sick of seeing that God-damned hat. You don't need it. Now lets go" Stan gave him a harder push and Fraser started to move. He barely looked at Turnbull as they passed by him on the way to the exit. Fraser walked slowly towards the door. Hands cuffed behind his back, head bowed, his face pale and drawn. Stan had hated to do it but he knew it was for his own good He only hoped that Fraser would thank him one day! He opened the door and held Fraser by the arm, guiding him to the GTO. He forced a grin onto his face. "Don't want you falling and blaming any injuries on police brutality now do we?" Fraser never even looked at him. He opened the door and assisted Fraser into the back seat, his hand automatically covering the top of Fraser's head. He let the passenger seat drop and slammed the door on Fraser. He got into the driving seat and put the keys in the ignition before he turned to face Fraser. "Okay Fraser, time to spill it. I want you to tell me what you've been up to. Your hands are red 'n sore 'n full of blisters." "I have nothing to say to you!" Fraser snapped back at Stan, then lowered his head. "Well I'm just gonna have to take you over to Mercy for those hands of yours to be looked at" Stan turned away and started the car "What?" Fraser's head shot up now and he stared at him with a look of incredulity. "You heard!" Stan threw over his shoulder. "You need those hands treating, I'm taking you to the hospital, where someone can take a look at them" He turned away from a stunned Fraser and floored the GTO, taking them away from the Consulate, leaving an open mouthed Turnbull standing at the door. Stan pulled the GTO into the hospital parking lot. Fraser has been silent during the journey over to the hospital and Stan's mind had been on overtime deciding just how he was going to get Fraser to see Ray. 'First things first. Get Fraser into the hospital' Stan exited the car and opened the passenger door for Fraser. "Out!" Fraser looked up at Stan. "Don't do this Stan, please?" Stan gave him a stern look. "You're hands are in a bad way Fraser, this is a hospital, they treat injuries here and it makes sense to get those hands treated - so don't be stupid! Now out!" Fraser sighed and tried to get out of the car but with his hands cuffed behind his back, it was a difficult exercise. Fraser fell back into the seat. Stan heaved a bored sigh, reached in and grabbed Fraser by the jacket and almost yanked him out of the car. "I said 'lets go'!" Fraser glared at Stan who shrugged "It's for your own good" and pushed Fraser in the direction of the hospital. Fraser turned and headed to the entrance; he couldn't see the sad expression on Stan's face. The triage nurse took a quick look at Fraser's injured hands and asked them both to sit in the waiting area until such time they were called. "Where can I get coffee any round here?" Stan asked the triage nurse before they walked away. "Round the corner to the right." She nodded in the general direction and then motioned them to go sit. Stan sat Fraser on a chair in the waiting area and proceeded to unlock the cuffs. Fraser hoped that he was releasing him but Stan was only cuffing him to the metal chair he was sitting on. "Just in case you decide to take a walk Fraser!" Stan shook the cuffs and then walked away to get coffee. Fraser glanced down at the cuffs and then around the room. Plenty of people sat in the waiting area. Some of them stared at him as though he was a criminal, especially a little white haired old lady sitting on the chair just in front of him. He was feeling pretty embarrassed about the whole affair. He had never been arrested and he tried not to think about the consequences, should he not be able to convince Stan to let him go. He knew he should not have hit Stan but he deserved it! When he had said Ray's name, it just hit a nerve and he saw red! It felt like a knife being twisted in his heart. He was sorry for what he had done but he hadn't been able to stop himself from hitting Stan. His father had been, well not much of a father really, he was never around when he really needed him. But he still loved him. And then he had been murdered... Stan should not have spoken like that about his father and that was a fact. Maybe the judge would take his father being murdered in consideration if he had to go to an arraignment. The old lady was starting at him again. He opened his mouth to try and explain his situation but she turned away quickly, trying to avoid him. Fraser lowered his head. 'This was unbearable!' He shuddered inwardly with the thought of being dismissed from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. He wanted to be transferred not dismissed! He knew he would have to resign to save face. Stan secretly watched Fraser from around the corner. He could see his friend was upset and struggling with the embarrassment of being handcuffed. Stan decided to take off the cuffs as he walked towards Fraser. "Here you go Frase, got you a cup of coffee" Stan held out the cup to his friend, but Fraser ignored his outstretched hand holding the coffee and said in a low harsh voice. "I don't want anything from you." Stan looked down into Fraser's eyes and found a strange light there. He shook himself "You know, I almost fell soft and removed the cuffs, but you did it again. You upset me. I was only being nice. Can't you be nice anymore Fraser?" "You want me to be nice when you have arrested me? You insulted my father, myself and my fr... How do you expect me to act?" He turned away and rubbed his eyebrow with the thumb of his free hand. Stan sat down next to Fraser. "Look Fraser you hit me. Yeah I know I said a few things but they needed to be said! You get carried away with all the Inuit stuff and drive me nuts at times. And I'm sorry I said what I said about Ray Vecchio. I didn't mean it really. I just get a little crazy now and again. I want us to be friends, partners. I haven't seen you for days. You avoid me. Hell you avoid everyone these days!" Stan's voice was getting louder and louder and a few people started to stare at the two men. Fraser looked at Stan calmly. "I don't know what you mean" "YES YOU DO FRASE" Stan was shouting now and a nurse hurried over to them. "Please be quiet or I will have to call the police" "I AM the police lady. Or haven't you seen the handcuffs my friend is wearing?" Stan stared at the nurse who glanced down at the cuffs. "You must be real short of friends if you have to handcuff them all the time!" Stan looked at the nurse and then at Fraser, a bewildered look on his face. "Yeah well I had to arrest him. I got my reasons." Stan stood up. "When's my friend getting his hands looked at? I'm sick of sitting here waiting!" The nurse shook her head "Okay lets get you into the treatment room and take a look. Then perhaps we can get rid of you both." She walked away and Stan unlocked the cuffs. Fraser stood and rubbed his wrist. "Okay Frase, if you promise not to run away, I'll leave the cuffs off" Fraser nodded "I would not 'run away' as you put it, I have morals you know" The two men walked to the treatment room where another nurse was waiting. "See Frase, that's made you're hands feel better now hasn't it?" Stan watched from the door as Fraser put his jacket on after having his hands dressed. "Yes, thank you. I should have done something about it before but I was so busy" Stan leaned forward in excitement. Was Fraser starting to open up and talk to him again? "What you been doin Frase?" "I was busy at work. I... I was helping out at the homeless shelter. Doing building maintenance, gardening work, painting and other tasks" Stan grinned "Okay! That's the Fraser I know. I knew you wouldn't be getting into anything bad!" Fraser gave him a puzzled look as he zipped up the jacket. "You seen Ray lately?" Stan had to ask just to see the reaction. Fraser ignored the question "Are we going to the Station house now or are you letting me go?" Fraser walked to the door and stood facing Stan. "Well it's up to you. Are you going to see Ray or not?" Stan folded his arms across his chest letting the handcuffs dangle from his fingers so Fraser could see them. "No" Fraser stared at Stan. "Why not Fraser, he's only just upstairs?" Stan watched Fraser's face grow dark. "I have no reason to visit him. He.." "He's your best friend for god's sake!" Stan interrupted. "As I have already said.. " "Yeah I know, I know, 'you have no reason to visit him'." Stan interrupted again, this time he moved towards Fraser, cuffs at the ready. "Well my friend, the cuffs go back on right now!" Stan motioned to Fraser to hold out his hands. Fraser looked Stan in the eye, he knew that he wasn't kidding and lifted his hand. Stan cuffed his left hand this time. Fraser's right one was in worse condition than the left and he didn't want to make it any worse. Stan put the other end of the cuffs around his right wrist and snapped it shut. "Okay let's go" The two men left the treatment room and walked to the exit, but as they got to the elevators Stan stopped and jabbed the call button. "Where are we going?" Fraser stared at Stan. "Guess!" Stan grinned at Fraser. Fraser studied for a moment and then Stan knew that Fraser had 'got it' by the look on his face. "You wouldn't?" "I would and I am, so don't argue!" The elevator arrived and Stan made to enter the car. Fraser held back but Stan grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the elevator then hit the 5th floor button and the doors closed. Fraser stared at the lights as the elevator rose past each floor. He could feel a mounting sensation of panic and had no idea what he could do. "Please Stan, don't do this. I ..I can't go in there. The family.. they don't want me.. in there. They don't want me at all." Fraser pleaded with Stan but he never even looked at his friend. He knew if he did, he would certainly give in. The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Stan stepped out into the corridor with Fraser following in kind of a daze. He could feel panic in his stomach and his heart was beating fast. He realized he was almost having a panic attack! He took a deep shaky breath to try and calm down. Stan walked down the corridor with Fraser trailing along slightly behind. Suddenly Stan stopped outside a door marked 227. "Okay Fraser, here we are. Time to go and face reality!" He placed his hand on the door and started to push it open. Fraser held his breath, although he didn't realize it at the time. The door swung open slowly revealing a normal hospital room. It was in semi-darkness but he could see a bed to the left of the room. There was a pleasant smell of flowers and Fraser could see a collection of 'Get Well Soon' balloons floating in the corner. Stan stood holding back the door, waiting for Fraser to enter. But he just stood there, not knowing what to do. Stan knew it was cruel but he had to do it, after all Stan's mom always said 'you had to be cruel to be kind' and he desperately wanted to be kind and take Fraser away from here but he couldn't do it, for Ray's sake and for Fraser's. "Time to go in Frase..." Stan started to walk into the room but could feel resistance from Fraser. He turned and found a look of sheer terror on Fraser's face. Stan grasped his friend's wrist and gently pulled him inside. He knew Fraser was upset but didn't realize that he was so scared. The door closed behind them and they stood side by side, Stan holding Fraser's left wrist with his right hand, both staring down at the man in the bed. After a few moments Stan pulled out the keys for the cuffs and proceeded to unlock them. Fraser just kept on staring down at Ray. Stan pulled out the chair and guided Fraser to sit down. Then he locked the free end of the cuffs to the side rail of the bed. Leaning down to Fraser he put his mouth close to his ear. "I'm going to get a cup of coffee Frase. I want you to sit here and think about what you've been doing. Make peace with Ray for God's sake please Fraser?" Stan squeezed his friend's shoulder and left the two men alone. Ray turned the corner and saw the hospital. He approached with a feeling of trepidation in the pit of his stomach. 'What was he going to find there? What would happen when he did get there? Who would be there? Questions seemed to float about in his head. He walked through the main entrance door and stood in the corridor. 'Where should I go?' There seemed to be no one around, which was very strange for a busy hospital. Ray walked towards a nurse's station looking for someone to help him. Not one person was around! All was very quiet and Ray realized that he would have to do this alone, as usual! 'Okay Vecchio, Think! Where would you find someone who's critically ill? ICU of course! ICU it is!' Ray turned around looking for a sign for ICU. He walked up one corridor and down another - all in vain. After what seemed like an age, Ray came across a set of red and blue hard plastic chairs in a small waiting area. He sat down and rubbed the back of his neck. He felt a little panicky. 'Got to think, got to keep calm' Ray leaned on his knees and put his head in his hands. 'Oh Benny, it's all going wrong!' Suddenly he heard a noise. His head shot up looking for the source. Footsteps! Someone was coming! 'Please God let it be Benny or even Benny's dad!' Ray's mind was jumping again now. The footsteps were much closer now and Ray watched as a young dark haired nurse walked around a corner towards him. He stood up quickly and started to walk towards her. "Excuse me Nurse?" The nurse put a finger to her lips and motioned for him to be silent. "Ray" she whispered "Come with me" She started off down the corridor again and Ray sprinted after her. "Where we going?" Ray had trouble keeping up with her. It was as though she was on a pair of in-line skates! "To ICU" Ray smiled 'Thank God' he thought "What's going on? The hospital's so quiet?" "Oh that's only because you just can't see them. They are all here as normal" She smiled at him as she walked. "You mean everyone's here and I can't see them? Can they see me?" Ray glanced around him looking for people. "No Ray" She hurried along and Ray hurried along with her. Fraser sat quietly at Ray's bedside. He looked at the man in the bed. He studied the hand laid atop the covers. It was pink and probably warm but he was so afraid that he couldn't bring himself to touch him. He glanced at the door but found no one to help him. He turned back to the bed and let his eyes travel up the body to reach his face. It was still Ray! He looked like he was just asleep and Fraser thought he could probably wake up any moment. He seemed to have some monitoring devices attached but it did seem as though his body was healing. Fraser wondered about his mind, his brain. He remembered the doctor saying that he would have brain damage and probably not wake up again. Fraser swallowed hard and stared at his friend. He reached for Ray's hand with his own cuffed one. He could just manage to take the hand in his. It was warm! He swallowed again and looked at that face. A face he had missed. The grin, the shake of his head, that laugh of his. Fraser pressed his lips together to stop them from quivering. He swallowed again, desperately trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. He imagined Ray calling his name. He could almost hear his voice call 'Benny!' Tears formed in his eyes and he gripped Ray's hand tightly. "Ray" His voice, almost a whisper, now finally spoke Ray's name. "Oh God Ray, forgive me?" Hot tears ran down his cheeks now and he finally gave into all the emotion he had held back, had put away never to be seen again. Fraser sobbed uncontrollably and held on to Ray's hand for comfort. "Please forgive me Ray. I'm so sorry I left. I should have been here with you" He held Ray's hand in his and lowered his head to his arm on the bed and wept like a child. After a few minutes he was fast asleep. Bob Fraser's face broke into a broad smile. "At last!" All was quiet as they walked and Ray could only hear their footsteps, everything else was silent. Creepy really! Without warning, the nurse stopped abruptly and held out her hand. "Here we are" Ray cast about with his eyes but couldn't see anyone around. He looked back at the nurse who pointed towards a door down the corridor. "In there" Ray walked slowly towards the door, which stood open. He swallowed nervously. He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't think you were ever coming Ray" He turned to find a strange woman standing close behind him. "No really. I thought you had given in and you were going to let him down" Ray looked into her blue eyes. He didn't know what to say. "He loves you like a brother you know? He almost gave up on you. Good job someone made him realize what a mistake he was making. You've been here more than 2 weeks now and we didn't think you were going to pull through, especially when you spent so much time talking to Irene" She smiled at him, even though Ray felt she was scolding him. "How do you know about Irene?" Ray was puzzled. "Oh, I know a lot of things Ray. He needs you, you know. He's never needed anyone so much before. Please don't give up on him will you? Someone needs to look after him and it should be you." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Now go and see your friend - he's waiting for you" Ray turned and walked towards the door. He could see a figure in the bed and Benny slumped across the bed - fast asleep. 'Geez, he looks awful' thought Ray. As he started to walk into the room the woman caught his hand. "Ray?" He turned and saw tears in her eyes. "Please hug Benton for me? It means a lot to me if you would" Ray stared at her. "I" he hesitated "Sure, anything else?" he grinned at her. She smiled at him through her tears. "Just tell him, that I've never stopped loving him and that I've always been with him and that I always will be" She smiled and leaned towards Ray and he felt her soft breath on his ear. "I'm Benton's mother" she whispered, then she kissed him again and walked away. Ray stood rooted to the spot. 'Benny's Mom!!' "Hey wait up" he called after her but when he looked for her - she was gone. Stunned, he suddenly realized that he had now met both of Benny's parents! Ray walked into the room. Benny was still asleep. He walked across to his friend and stood looking down at him. He could see that he had lost weight and had a sunken pale look to his face. Ray also noticed that he was handcuffed to the side rails of the bed! 'What the hell has he done?' Ray thought. Ray saw that Benny was holding his hand - the hand of Ray Vecchio lying critically ill in the hospital bed - his hand. His eyes rested on Benny's hand clutching his own and then followed up the arm to the body lying in the bed - his body. He looked down into his own face. He thought that his jaw had been smashed by the look of the bruising. His head had been shaved - as if he could loose more hair! - and there was a large dressing on the side of his head. There was a tube coming out of his chest. 'Probably a chest drain' Ray realized. It was strange to be standing at your own bedside. Looking down at your self. He had come a long way, met lots of people who were dead. It felt like something out of a movie - Ghost perhaps. 'Yeah' Ray nodded to himself 'Weird' He reached out to touch his friend's shoulder "Benny!" Fraser found himself sitting at the Vecchio dinner table. All of the Vecchio family sat with him. Mrs. Vecchio sat to his left, with Francesca sat directly across from him. Maria, her husband and the children were with him also. He could smell he wonderful aroma of home cooked food. The table was covered with assorted dishes of pasta, salad and potatoes. Ciabatta bread stood steaming in a basket waiting to be eaten. Fraser's taste buds sprang to life at all of the wonderful aromas. He didn't realize how hungry he was. Mrs. Vecchio put her hand on his arm and smiled up at him. Fraser stared at her, bewildered. He glanced at Francesca, waiting for her to start in on him again but she only smiled. Fraser was truly confused. He knew Francesca hated him, why was he here? He remembered how she had told him he wouldn't be welcome at their home any more. Then why was he here now? Fraser suddenly realized that there was a spare place to his right. Slowly he turned his head and looked at the chair next to him. He could see the mahogany wood back of the chair and the deep red of the fabric covering the seat so clearly. He turned back to Mrs. Vecchio with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry Mrs. Vecchio." He gazed into her dark eyes not knowing what else to say. He knew in his heart that the chair was for Ray, and knew that Ray would never sit there again. "Why you sorry Benton? Why do you weep?" Mrs. Vecchio smiled as she took hold of his hand. Her face shining and happy. Fraser let the tears flow down his cheeks unabashed. He couldn't speak and just held on to her hand for comfort. "Please my Benton, you must not cry, all is well." She patted his hand and touched his face, wiping away the tears. He swallowed back the lump in his throat. "Ray. I, I..." Fraser couldn't finish - he was too upset. He was back with the Vecchio family, something he never expected would ever happen again. Mrs. Vecchio turned away from him suddenly shouting "Raimondo, why does Benton cry so?" Fraser stared at Mrs. Vecchio, his eyes wide. Suddenly he felt a hand gripping his right shoulder and a familiar voice speak his name. "Benny!" He closed his eyes quickly. 'It couldn't be Ray! Ray was...gone' He stood and turned towards the voice. A tall, well-dressed man stood smiling at him, a hand resting on his shoulder. "Hey Benny. How you doing?" Ray grinned at him. Fraser's face lit up - it was Ray!!! He pulled Ray into his arms and almost crushed him in a bear-like hug. Ray hugged him in return, squeezing him just as tight. They stood at the table hugging each other. He couldn't speak and couldn't think. Fraser suddenly started to laugh. It started somewhere in his toes and crept up through his whole body until it exploded into an enormous laugh. He held on tightly to Ray not wanting to let go of him in case it was a dream. Both of them were laughing now and Ray pulled away and held Fraser at arms length. "Geez man you look terrible" Ray couldn't control his laughter and it came out in loud guffaws. Fraser laughed so much his sides hurt. He wondered what they were laughing about. All the family laughed along with them, even Francesca. Slowly Fraser's laughter gradually turned to tears and his whole body began to shake with sobs. Ray took Fraser back into his arms. He patted his back and whispered in his ear, trying to comfort him. "Shush Benny shush, don't cry. I'm here. It's okay. I'm here" Fraser could hear Ray's voice speaking to him but just could not stop crying. He gripped Ray's Armani suit jacket with his fists, feeling the expensive fabric in his hands. He could smell the familiar scent Ray always wore. It was a strange scent, kind of an antiseptic type smell. He could hear Ray calling to him but didn't want to let go of his friend. "Benny. Benny" The voice was weaker now. Fraser opened his eyes and saw the white covering on Ray's bed. He realized with a start that he was in Ray's hospital room and Ray was still in a coma. He had fallen asleep. His head resting on his arms on Ray's bed and dreamed everything! "Oh God please help me!" Fraser closed his eyes again in despair. He didn't want to be here. He couldn't take it! "Benny" Fraser's eyes snapped open. Someone was in the room with him. He lifted his head and glanced around the room. There was no one with him, except for Ray. Fraser let out a sigh and rubbed his face - it was still wet with tears. He was hearing things now. "Benny" Fraser looked at Ray - he was smiling at him. Fraser closed his eyes and opened them again. He had to be dreaming again! Ray was still smiling at him. "Hey Benny" Ray's voice was very weak and hoarse. "Glad you woke up, you were having a nightmare" Fraser stared at his best friend in disbelief. He couldn't be awake! Ray was in a coma! "Ray?" Fraser could hardly speak his friend's name, let alone move. "Ray you're awake!" Ray stared at his friend a small smile on his face. "Yeah Benny, never thought I would wake up. Never thought I'd see you again. " He tried to move and Benny suddenly found his feet. He leapt up and moved to Ray wanting to help him, to do something for him. He took Ray's hand in his. His other hand still handcuffed to the rail "Please don't move Ray, I will ring for the nurse." He started to reach for the call button but Ray gripped his hand weakly. "No Benny I want to talk to you. Stay with me?" Fraser looked down at his friend "Very well Ray, if you're sure?" "I'm sure Benny" Fraser sat down again still holding Ray's hand. "I just wanted to tell you that you mean so much to me Benny. More than you can ever know. I wanted to be with you again. Wanted things to go back the way they were before I left and you got a new partner. But they can never go back that way again." Fraser opened his mouth to speak but Ray squeezed his hand. "No Benny let me finish. I need you to look after Ma for me, and Frannie. They need you. Will you do that for me?" Fraser nodded his head "Of course Ray." In an instant he decided not tell Ray about how things were between him and Ray's family. "You know I love you don't you Benny?" Ray's eyes were filled with tears now and Fraser knew Ray was getting upset. "You should rest Ray. Let me get a Doctor?" He made to press the call button. "No Benny I'm not finished yet. I want you to go see Welsh and tell him he was a good boss and tell Huey I'm sorry about Louis. Apologize to the Dragon Lady for me too will ya?. She's okay" Fraser nodded watching him closely. Ray took a breath. "You can take care of everything can't you?" Fraser studied his friend "Yes Ray" "Good, thanks man. Just wanted to make sure that you could cope with everything. Arrangements and stuff. Just in case something should happen to me" Fraser felt the stirrings of panic in the pit of his stomach. "What do you mean Ray, 'something should happen to you'?" "You know, just in case. That's all" Ray smiled up at his friend. "I love you man. From the first time we met, I knew there was something drawing us together. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I wish I had been. You have to look after yourself Benny. And think about me sometime" Ray closed his eyes. Fraser shook him "Ray! What's going on? Ray! Don't do this to me. Don't leave me!" Ray managed to open his eyes for a moment. "Hey Benny I'm sorry" Then Ray closed his eyes and passed away peacefully. Fraser held his breath and stared at his friend's face. "RAY! RAY! Wake up. RAY!" Fraser realized that Ray had spoken for the last time. Fraser closed his eyes and shouted out his friend's name at the top of his voice. "RAYYYYYYYYY! NO please. Oh please NO!" Fraser cradled Ray in his arms sobbing. He held his friend and rocked him back and forth, crying uncontrollably. Fraser's eyes snapped open. He lifted his head and looked at Ray. "Benny" Fraser looked at Ray - he was smiling at him. Fraser closed his eyes and opened them again. He had to be dreaming again! Ray was still smiling at him. "Hey Benny" Ray's voice was very weak and hoarse. "Glad you woke up, you were having a nightmare" Fraser gripped Ray's hand tightly "Ray don't die, please don't die. I need you." He held his hand as tight as he dare not knowing if he was dreaming or not. "Hey Buddy I'm going nowhere! I'm not going to die. I want to live." Fraser let the tears slip down his cheeks unabashed. He smiled that brilliant smile of his and his heart soared with happiness. Ray was awake and going to make it! "Hey Benny, I could do with a hug, it's been a long time since we saw each other." Ray smiled up at his friend, suddenly feeling a kind of peace that he hadn't felt in many months. He felt he was home again! Fraser tried to hug his friend but the handcuffs made it difficult. He stood looking down at Ray, feeling a little awkward about the cuffs. "I'm sorry Ray. I. It's a little difficult. The handcuffs....." Fraser rubbed his eyebrow with his thumb. 'How I've longed to see him do that' Ray thought to himself, smiling. "So what you been up to Buddy? Something illegal?" "Of course not Ray! I would not commit an illegal ac..." Fraser's voice trailed off in embarrassment and the smile slowly disappeared from his face, to be replaced with a slight pink blush. "Hey, you did do something wrong, didn't you?" Ray's smile widened as he watched his friend blush with embarrassment. "Well I did have an altercation with St.. a police officer." "I knew it!" Ray's voice lifted as he watched his friend squirm. Fraser stared at Ray and suddenly realizing that he was just trying to wind him up. He broke into a grin. "It's so good to hear your voice Ray" The door swung open and Stan strode in. Both men turned to Stan and Fraser grinned. "Hello Stan I have someone I'd like to introduce you to. Stanley Kowalski this is Ray Vecchio. Ray this is Stanley Kowalski. Stan was... he was your stand in at the precinct." Stan stared at both men in astonishment. "Holy cow, you're awake! I mean you're out of the coma. That's great. Really great" "Think you could take off the cuffs Stan?" Ray's smile disappeared and he nodded toward Fraser. "Sure thing Ray" Stan quickly pulled out the keys and unlocked the cuffs. "Now if you could leave us alone for a while, we've got some talking to do" Ray turned to Fraser and grinned. "Of course, I'll tell the nurse you're awake and get some coffee. I'll be right outside" Stan made a quick exit, he felt real awkward now Ray was awake. Kinda threatened. "Now do I get that hug Benny?" Ray grinned holding up his arms and Fraser moved to his friend. They embraced as brothers and as friends, glad to be together again. Epilogue. The hospital had been bedlam for a few days. Visitors coming and going. Mrs. Vecchio laughed and cried, and laughed and cried again. Ray made wonderful progress and was able to sit up for a while each day. It was going to be a long recovery. Fraser had hardly left Ray's side except to shower and change and sneak Dief into the hospital room. Ray was glad to see Dief and even let him lay on the bed with him when no one was around. He had made Dief swear he wouldn't tell Fraser. Ray's family were overjoyed and all prayed for his recovery. Lt. Welsh visited and spent some time bringing Ray up to speed with all the news from the bullpen. Ray was pleased that Welsh had been to see him, it felt good to be back among friends again. Fraser stood at the flower box trying to decide what to purchase. Should he buy a balloon or flowers? Ray was gathering lots of gifts and flowers already. He wished he could find something a little different. "Fraser" He heard a small voice call his name and turned to see Francesca standing behind him. "Ah, Francesca" He wasn't sure what to do at this point, and lowered his eyes. They had not spoken since that fateful day of the 'slap'. He had somehow managed to avoid actual contact with Francesca when they were in Ray's room, but that was only because he trying to avoid exactly what was about to happen. "Fraser I.. I need to talk to you." She looked up into his eyes. Fraser quickly averted his eyes. "I have to get up to Ray's room maybe we can speak later?" He started to walk away but Francesca caught his arm. "Wait, Please will you talk to me? I really need to apologize for my behavior. It was unforgivable of me. I am so sorry Benton. I was hurt and upset. I needed you to help us get through this..." She took a hitching breath and Fraser could tell she was about to cry. "No Francesca. It is I who should apologize. I should have been here with you and Mrs. Vecchio and Ray" He hung his head in shame and Francesca reached up and caressed his cheek with her hand, the cheek that she had slapped. "No Ben, you needed us too and I just made things worse. I'm sorry" Fraser caught her hand with his and held it on his cheek. He smiled down at her. "All is forgiven Frannie" Then he took her into his arms and they held each other tightly. "Thank you Ben" he heard her quiet whisper. "Thank you kindly Francesca" he replied with a small smile. "Ah! Good! You have decided to speak at last. It was driving me crazy!" Mrs. Vecchio stood watching them, smiling and they dropped the hug quickly. "Now Benton" Mrs. Vecchio approached Fraser and he swallowed back nervousness. "I was upset that you never come to see me. Ray needed you. We needed you. But that is forgiven now." She touched his face, smiling. "You know that you are like my own son, Raimondo. I love you like your own mother would, if she were alive, God rest her soul." She crossed herself and looked into his eyes. "You must now call me Ma like a son should. I will not take no for an answer." This at Fraser's dazed expression. "You should not live at the Consulate in that tiny room. You will live with us, you can have Raimondo's room until he comes home and then we see what we can do!" She reached out and took Fraser's hand in hers and smiled her sweet smile. "What do you say Bentino? Are you going to give your Mamma a hug?" Fraser smiled down at this small Italian woman "You know I cannot ever say no to you.. Mamma" She reached up and took him into her arms and they embraced as a mother and son would. She felt his head sink to her shoulder and she held him close and whispered "My son" and she could feel his body shake a little as he wept silently onto her shoulder. "You no longer alone now, you are family!" End Watch out for the more fiction from DueSue! 33 1