NC-17 for m/m Ray/Ray   Graham Gregory Graham Gregory 58 265
2000-07-28T13:06:00Z 2000-07-28T17:31:00Z 7 4245 18682 Home 518 102 29721
9.2720	       R for m/m Ray/Ray. Also m/f Fraser/Frannie but nowt
graphic.   Not mine, never gonna be, may as well stop dreaming. Cheers
Alliance, I owe ya one. No money was made and no hamsters were harmed in
the production of this story.   I think all fanfic writers start of as mad
fanfic fans, the progression to writer is a natural step up in the fanfic
evolutionary scale.   This is a sequel to Duty Memories, which is a sequel
to Change in Duty. Good idea to read those ones first, this'll make more
sense.   Mr Matchmaker     "I'll never let you see, The way my broken
heart is hurting me, I've got my pride, And I know how to hide, All my
sorrow and pain, I'll do my crying in the rain,"   Robson and Jerome-
Crying in the Rain     Stan stretched out in bed. He was warm, despite the
howling winds and snow outside, he propped himself up on one elbow and
looked down at his sleeping lover, Ray always looked peaceful in his sleep
and Stan just enjoyed just watching him softly breathe in and out. He
wished everyone could find the same happiness he had found with Ray, he
felt loved and wanted here, so unlike what he had felt with the Stella, he
had always felt as if he needed to try harder, be better, cleverer, he
would never be good enough for her, no matter how much he believed he
loved her at the time. He realised now that wasn't love, love involved
acceptance, something Ray gave him unconditionally and he was grateful for
it. Sure he thought he'd loved Stella, but now Stan realised no one could
ever really love the Stella, she never let anyone in, never trusted anyone
with her true emotions, the only time he'd even seen close to her true
self in all of their years of marriage was the time she hit him.   Stan
rubbed his cheek as if it still stung at the memory.    She didn't go for
any girly slap, she went for a full out punch, and she didn't stop there,
she hit him with her squash racquet repeatedly, Stan was powerless to stop
her, he knew he couldn't restrain her without hurting her, that was the
last thing he wanted to do. That night ended in a trip to the ER, she'd
been so apologetic afterwards but Stan could not forget the look of pure
hatred in her eyes, they were stone cold, steely with evil.   Poor Stella,
so much hate, not enough love.   That was the night, in Stan's heart he
knew their marriage was over, it just took his head the extra year to
catch up with him. It had nearly killed him after the divorce, Stella was
the only person he'd ever known to love, hell he was the only one he'd
ever slept with, well he'd known her since he was thirteen and he would
never cheat on her, he was the faithful kind, like one of those dogs, the
ones that stay with their master's till the bitter end, he supposed wryly
that's all he ever was to Stella, a little lap dog, the scratch to
accompany her occasional itch. He'd always be faithful to Ray, hell he
loved him more than he'd ever loved Stella, well maybe not more, just
different, with Ray they had the buddy thing going as well, they were like
best friends. That's what he and Stella had been missing at the end;
they'd forgotten how to be friends. He curled himself around Ray, laying
his head on his customary place on his shoulder.    No he'd never cheat on
Ray, Stan suddenly remembered the hurt look on Ray's face after he'd
caught him and Milner in the supply closet, he'd never meant to hurt Ray,
that incident wasn't exactly Stan's fault, but he was grateful nonetheless
when Ray had forgiven him completely. He was also glad that Fraser knew
about them, he hated keeping things form the Mountie, it also made things
a lot easier for them to get time together, Ray could stay over at Stan's
and only have to worry about what to tell his family, before he had to
leave early in the morning so he could be at home just in case the Mountie
decided to pay one of them a surprise morning visit. Stan still felt bad
about keeping it from him though, he wished there was something he could
do to make it up to him.   There was.   It was only five minutes ago Stan
was wishing everyone could experience what he and Ray shared, Fraser
needed someone to love him and someone to love back, hell even super
Mountie must get lonely sometimes. Stan also knew the best person would be
to alleviate that loneliness, Stan wasn't lying that day when he had told
Frannie that Fraser liked her too, he could see it in Fraser's eyes when
he looked at her and as for Frannie, no-one could possibly miss the way
she felt about Frase, you'd have to be blind. Stan idly wondered why they
hadn't already gotten together, if he could figure that out, he'd take
that element away and they could be happy.    Stan thought for a long time
what that element could be, it couldn't be Fraser's fear of rejection,
Frannie had made her feeling perfectly clear on that matter. The only
thing he could come up with was duty, Fraser's stubborn inability to do
anything to make himself happy or comfortable, and his duty to his
friends...    He then vaguely remembered Fraser telling him that he
promised Ray he wouldn't touch his sister. That was why Fraser had never
made a move. He'd never betray Ray. Stan looked disgusted down at his
sleeping lover, how could he deny his best friend and sister happiness. He
knew he could right this small oversight for his lover, once he saw how
happy they could make each other he'd be pleased for them, Ray was soppy
at heart, he would be pleased for them. Stan would make sure he was.  
0o0o0   Stan's birthday was two days away. That would be the perfect
opportunity. No one would think it was unusual if he invited Fraser and
Frannie for a meal at his apartment for his birthday. Then he'd suddenly
get a phone call and have to leave them alone, romantic music, wine for
Frannie and bark tea for Frase, good food, oysters perhaps, they were an
aphrodisiac after all. He'd have to keep Ray out of the way, but seeing as
it was him organising it Fraser would probably take that as a green light
from Ray, Stan was Ray's significant other after all.   0o0o0    "Hey
Frannie, you wanna help me celebrate my birthday? I promise free food and
drink,"   "I dunno Stan, it might be a bit weird, ya know ya not my
brother any more, I'm a civilian aid, you're a cop," Stan chucked to
himself, she probably thought he was making moves on her, Ray was actually
planning on telling Frannie about their relationship, after all she knew
Ray wasn't so strictly heterosexual so it would be easier to tell her than
the rest of his family. They could trust Frannie to keep it to herself.
Stan wasn't overly bothered who they told or didn't, but Ray needed to
make their relationship more exclusive, to do that he felt at least some
of his family should know.   "Fraser'll be there,"   "What time should I
be there," Frannie answered instantly and then laughed at her own blatant
eagerness.   "I'll pick you up if you want about seven on my way home from
work,"   "That's great thanks, but how will I get home,"   "I'll drop you
off, or I have a very comfy couch,"   "You won't be able to drink though,
it's your birthday,"   "Yeh Fran it's my birthday. I'm meant to be
miserable,"   "Yeah that's right you're an old man now aren't you?" she
joked.   "You forget I've been your brother, so little sis I know for a
fact I'm only two years older than you," He left her with a wink.   0o0o0
  One down. One to go.   0o0o0   "Hey Frase," Stan called out to his
friend,   "Good morning Stan," Fraser replied looking up from his
paperwork, "What brings you over to the consulate this morning, alone?"
Fraser asked confused looking past Stan for Ray, the other half of the
partnership.   "Ray's still catching up on paperwork and I decided to come
ask you a favour," that wasn't exactly a lie, Ray was doing paperwork but
Stan had told him he felt sick and was going in search of a good chemist
with extra strength Nyquil. Ray looked at him concernedly and quickly
agreed, Stan felt kind of guilty leaving Ray with the paperwork, then he
remembered his lover making Fraser promise that he would stay miserable
for Ray. That made Stan feel a lot less guilty.   "What favour would that
be?"   "Come to my apartment for a meal on my birthday?" Stan copied
Fraser's 'big eyed' Mountie look to ensure he'd come.   "Certainly Stan,
thank you kindly for the invitation,"   0o0o0   The afternoon of his
birthday Stan had taken time off work. He even shocked himself the day he
discovered he could actually cook, he didn't have a lot of time, he'd have
to get ready himself, then pick up Frannie and Fraser, clean the apartment
then meet Ray at the restaurant at seven thirty. Stan couldn't believe
that Ray hadn't noticed all of his secret plotting. He was actually
looking forward to spending an entire evening with Ray, they'd been really
busy all week at work, they'd hardly had any time alone, it seemed like
Welsh had doubled their caseload. He'd leave his GTO keys with Fraser; he
could drive Frannie home, or somewhere else if everything went to plan.
They'd be gone by the time he and Ray got back, they'd have a great time
tonight, would they hell, Stan couldn't wait. Then Ray would notice how
happy Fraser was, then Frannie new found good mood, he'd be happy that
they were happy, then he wouldn't be too angry when he found out why they
were happy. He'd get over it eventually, Stan would help him, or at the
very least do things to keep his mind off of it, boy did he know some
things he could do to keep Ray's mind occupied.    Stan set the table with
two places, dimmed the lights, placed a romantic CD in the changer and set
the hot pot he'd been cooking down to a low simmer. He went into his
bedroom and put on a tidy pair of trousers and matching jacket, Ray liked
it when he actually bothered to dress up, at the moment Stan thought it
would be a good idea to keep Ray sweet. Stan suddenly wondered if he was
making a mistake, going behind Ray's back, he should have just asked him
about it first, he'd be well mad that he'd gone behind his back.   He'd
never of agreed.   Never.   Stan felt he was right in that fact, Ray would
never of agreed to this, Stan just couldn't bare to see them both
miserable because of one stupid promise Fraser had made Ray. He carefully
styled his spikes and mindlessly shaved using his electric razor, Ray was
right he was too lazy to do it properly. Stan checked his watch; he'd have
to hurry to pick up Frannie and Fraser if he was going to meet Ray on
time.    On his way out Stan pulled his rug back exposing the dance step
pattern on the floor, the music he'd picked was perfect for this kind of
dancing, at least they wouldn't get bored, and in Stan's experience
dancing usually led to one thing.   0o0o0   Stan sped off in his GTO,
sighed in relief that Ray's riv was nowhere to be seen outside the Vecchio
household, that was all he needed, to bump into Ray, how the hell would he
explain that. Stan's luck held, Ray never turned up as he quickly ushered
a fantastic looking Frannie into his car.  Frannie did look fantastic; she
was wearing a dress that Ray certainly wouldn't have approved of. Fraser
would never be able to resist her.   0o0o0   The next stop was the
Consulate, Fraser as punctual as ever was already waiting outside for
them.   "Happy Birthday Stan, Good evening Francesca," the Mountie greeted
as he climbed into the car, without the wolf Stan thought pleased, his
luck was really working for him tonight.   0o0o0   As soon as they stepped
into the apartment Fraser realised something was strange, there was only
two place settings, things got even weirder Stan busied himself lighting
the candles on the table, pouring one glass of wine and one cup of bark
tea, Fraser shot Frannie a bemused look, she returned an equally confused
glance, Fraser was at least pleased about that, whatever Stan had plotted
Frannie was as in the dark about it as himself. Stan then poured out two
generous helping of a delicious stew type concoction, it's appetising
aroma quickly filled the apartment and Fraser's stomach growled at the
anticipation of the delicious smelling meal.   "You cooked that?" he asked
Stan in disbelief, Stan shot him an indignant look, oh dear he'd just
insulted him.   "I may be slob Fraser, but on occasion I also can act like
a civilised human being, capable of cleaning the apartment and cooking
half edible food, even if I did nearly lose a finger in the process," Stan
held up his bandaged finger, a memorial of the war with the carrots.  
"Stan I'm sorry I didn't mean, well I never meant to imply.."   "Don't
sweat it Frase, I act caveman most of the year so I know what you meant,"
  "Aren't you hungry?" Fraser then asked, indicating to only two place
settings, a look of panic flashed across Stan's face, it was quickly
replaced with a blank look of misunderstanding.   "Well Frase, I'm on a,
um, diet, yeah, I'm getting a little tubby around the middle, need to lose
some pounds," Fraser eyed Stan flat stomach suspiciously, there was no fat
on Stan at all, if anything he needed to gain a few pounds. They were
interrupted by the shill sound of Stan's cell phone, Stan quickly answered
glad of the distraction.   "Kowalski," Stan paused a look of utter horror
crept over his face as he listened to whatever the person on the other
line was saying, " I thought I was meeting you there, whaddya mean change
of plans? I'll meet ya downstairs, no it's fine, really, you can't come up
here, later, yeah me too," Stan hung up shot a panicked look at them,
quickly put on some romantic music, Fraser was suddenly worried, what if
they were interrupting a romantic meal of Stan's and Ray's?   "Enjoy
yerselves, don't stay up too late," Stan yelled to them as he flew out of
the door, tossing his car keys to Fraser, "Look after my baby!" he ordered
then he was gone. A shocked Fraser and Frannie stood staring dumbly at the
door.    They'd been royally set up.    Fraser moved to the window, saw
the familiar green car pull up outside the apartment block, Stan jumping
quickly into the passenger side, kissing the driver passionately in
greeting, then the car sped off down the road. Fraser heard a small gasp
of shock next to him and realised Frannie was stood right beside him,
she'd just seen her brother kissing her pretend brother; it must have been
quite a shock.   0o0o0   Fraser and Frannie had a great evening, Fraser
had explained to her about Ray and Stan. Fraser was pleased that Frannie
seemed genuinely pleased her brother was happy, no matter who he was with.
They had demolished the meal Stan had prepared, he had left them some
rocky road ice cream for dessert and they demolished that as well. They
had started to dance, formally at first, nothing indecent, but Fraser felt
a long-suffering desire awaken, it only started as a small chaste kiss, so
innocent.   That's how it had started.   Before long they were on Stan's
couch kissing passionately, desire swept through both of them and all
rationality went out of the window. Fraser could feel his arousal
demanding attention through his jeans, Frannie quickly noticed and
unbuttoned the fly and slid her hand inside, Fraser moaned in appreciation
as she closed her hand around his erection. They were so engrossed in
their desire for one another that they didn't hear the key in the lock of
the front door, they also didn't hear said door opening, what they did
hear however was the hysterical screaming of one Ray Vecchio.   0o0o0  
Ray walked into Stan's apartment, he was in a great mood, the meal had
gone really well, and Stan had loved his present. A new shiny silver
bracelet hung proudly from his wrist, and Stan had promised to thank him
properly for the bracelet once they got home.   Ray couldn't wait.  
That's when his cop instincts had set in. There was someone in the
apartment. He went for his gun only to have his arm stopped by Stan. He
looked closer at the occupants of the room, it was Frannie, she had her
hand down some guy's trousers, and Ray wanted to kill the guy.   It was
Fraser.   Ray felt the rage slowly burning in his stomach, growing and
swelling until it reached and burst out of his mouth, he ranted and raved,
turned the music off so that all could be heard above the silence was his
own voiced anger. Both occupants of the couch looked up at him with heavy
lidded eyes that were dark with arousal.   "Fraser what the hell are you
doing to my sister?" he ranted.   "Oh dear," was the only coherent thing
to come from Fraser, Frannie however was more used to dealing with angry
Italians spoke up.   "Ray, this is none of your business, I'm happy, for
the first time in ages, I'm actually happy," Ray looked angrily from one
to the other, his desire to punch the lights out of Fraser was
overwhelming, how dare he go back on his promise!   "Frannie stay out of
it!" he yelled angrily at his sister.   "No, hairbottle, this is my
business, don't you want me to be happy is that it? I actually wish Stan
was my real brother, at least he cares enough about my happiness to do
this for us, he's been more of a brother to me tonight than you ever
have," she shouted back just as angrily.   0o0o0   Stan jumped as Ray
turned on him, the look of uncontrollable anger contorting his face into
an evil sneer. Stan felt something he'd never felt for Ray before.   He
was scared.   "You did this," Ray asked in a deceptively quiet voice.  
"I.."   "Well, I'm waiting for your explanation,"   "I wanted them to
be... happy," Stan tried in a quiet voice not wanting to anger Ray
further.   "Oh, really, and that gives you the right to. Go. Behind. My.
Back?" Ray sneered,   "No," Stan whispered,   "I didn't hear you,"   "No,"
louder this time, braver, "Well someone's got to care about their
happiness,"   "WHAT?" Stan was totally unprepared for the fist that
connected with his face in a burning shock of pain. He was even less
prepared for the second fist that ploughed into his exposed stomach. He
doubled over in agony as he fell onto his ass on the floor Ray looming
over him a look of utter shock on his face as he stared down at him, Stan
vaguely remembered Fraser coming up warily behind Ray, saying that this
wasn't his fault, if he needed to hit someone it should at least be him,
he was the one who'd broken his promise.    Stan doesn't remember getting
up or grabbing his jacket off the hook or even running from the apartment.
Those things must have happened because he was now sat on the muddy grass
in the rain next to the lake they call Michigan. His whole life felt over,
and empty void was left where there had once been his heart, he did
something he hadn't done since the Beth Botrelle case.   He cried.   0o0o0
  Ray turned around miserably to face Fraser and Frannie, unaware Stan was
shakily getting to his feet, grabbing his jacket then fleeing.   "Stop,
wait, I'm sorry!" he yelled after his lover, too shaken himself to offer
any kind of pursuit. "I'm sorry, " he whispered miserably, remembering the
shocked and crushed look in his lovers eyes the moment his fist connected
with his face, he'd never forget that look, it was clearly etched on his
memory, probably the last memory he'd ever have of him and Stan together.
He looked sadly up at Frannie and Fraser, he didn't feel angry about them
anymore, just kind of envious, they had found love, he'd found love as
well, but he'd just blown it.   Frannie shot him a disgusted glare; he
knew what she was thinking, he was thinking the same thing.    Like father
like son.   "Ray?" Fraser asked him concerned, but Ray didn't miss the
fact that Fraser still looked wary of him.   "Yeah?" Ray replied
miserably.   "We're sorry, we should never have deceived you," Ray waved
off the apology, that wasn't important anymore.   "Sorry I got mad at
you," He returned, not looking at them.   "I don't think we're the ones
who need an apology Ray," Frannie softly reminded. Ray looked up at them,
he felt ridiculously close to tears, drained of all energy, he wished he
could take it all back, turn back time, anything.    "What's the use?"  
"Of what Ray?"   "Apologising." Fraser studied him intently.   "Don't you
think you owe Stan an apology?" Fraser asked incredulously.   "I think I
owe him a lot more than that, not that it'll do any good," Ray
despondently mumbled as he sank down into the sofa and helped himself to
the rest of Frannie's wine, downing it in a couple of large gulps.   "Ray,
Stan is a very forgiving person, you would be surprised at his capacity of
forgiveness, he forgave me when I hit him,"   "You don't think it's
useless? He might forgive me?" Ray couldn't help the childlike tone of
hope out of his voice.   "Uh, well he might," Frannie tried, she didn't
sound very convinced.   "I gotta find him,"   "I'll help you," a guilty
Fraser offered instantly.   "Me too," added Frannie.   0o0o0   They drove
around for nearly an hour, trying every dive and park in the whole city
that Stan would be likely to go to. They came up with nothing; Ray by this
point was getting nearly frantic suggesting anything and everything
between checking in dumpsters to hospitals to the morgue.   "His parents?"
  "Stella?" Frannie and Fraser both tried more pleasant alternatives.  
"His parents hate him, oh and so does Stella,"   "We could try the
apartment, he might have gone back there,"   "I suppose," Ray agreed
unbelievingly.	  0o0o0   On their drive back to Stan's Fraser noticed a
familiar figure in the lamplight walking down the road. His shoulders
slumped, soaked through.   "Ray," Fraser pointed out the drowned figure in
the distance, the customary spikes plastered down to his head with water.
Ray sped down the road then slammed on the brakes, the figure turned
around at the commotion, Ray ignoring the rain jumped out of the car,
Fraser quickly followed ready to stop any more punches being thrown, he
still felt guilty about being too late to stop the last two. Those should
have been his punches, his pain. Stan had done nothing wrong, other than
set the inevitable ball rolling. Stan had been caught in the crossfire for
his good deed. Frannie was quick to follow him out of the car. They all
rushed up to Stan. Stan looked at them all through bloodshot troubled
eyes, the hitching in his breathing betraying the fact that he'd been
crying. A large purplish bruise on his cheek was apparent even in the poor
lighting in the street.   "I'm sorry Ray," he whispered, eyes closing as
if he was in pain, wrapping his arms around himself in a protective
gesture, or just against the cold, Fraser couldn't tell, Stan was
shivering uncontrollably, Fraser also couldn't tell if that was due to the
crying or cold, probably a mixture of the two. One long slender arm
reached out as if of it's own accord to Ray. Ray, without hesitation, took
the proffered arm and wrapped himself protectively around the slighter
man. Stan buried his face into Ray's neck and let out a loud, suffering
sob clinging desperately onto the front of Ray's shirt, bunching the
material in his fists. Ray held him tighter whispering that he was sorry,
it would never, ever happen again, this was repeated vehemently, like a
mantra.   Fraser and Frannie sank back into the background holding each
others hands happily gazing into each others eyes, knowing their forbidden
love was now accepted by a certain Italian American who meant a lot to
both of them.   0o0o0   Ray looked at the illuminated numbers on the clock
it was four fifteen, he curled up tighter to the still shivering sleeping
man next to him that he came so close to losing. The naked man, in his
sleep, murmured his approval at the added warmth and closeness. Ray gently
stroked the ugly bruise growing on his lover's stomach that he had put
there.   "I feel like a dog," Stan mumbled to him in the dark.   "What?"  
"You're petting me, this is what Dief must feel like," Ray instantly
removed his hand from Stan's stomach as if it had been burned, "I never
said stop," Stan smiled back at him good humouredly, his voice still
hoarse from crying. Ray gently replaced his hand and rubbed in small soft
circles over Stan's stomach. Stan sighed contentedly, Ray hand ventured
lower, Stan contented sigh turned into a needy growl as Ray gently began
to stroke the length of this erection.   "Oh, man, it's good to be a dog,"
He happily moaned in the dark.   The End.