Duty Memories	Graham Gregory Graham Gregory 110 735
2000-07-24T19:48:00Z 2000-07-27T13:37:00Z 16 7930 45205 Home 376 90 55514
9.2720	       This is kind of a sequel to Change in Duty; it should make
sense on its own, but should make more sense if ya read that one first.  
Not mine, not gonna be so I may as well give up that dream. But I humbly
thank Alliance, the jammy little peeps.   NC-17 for m/m, Ray/Ray. So if ya
don't like that kind of stuff, or are not of an adult age skadaddle quick
before I corrupt your innocent little mind. There may be some slight n/c
but I don't really think it counts, but just a quick warning for the weak
among you.   Not beta'd, my mistakes. Mine! I know nothing about amnesia
or medical procedures, other than watching ER, so I apologise in advance
for it all being made up.   Duty Memories   "These dreams have let you
down, Take it, don't break it, just turn it around, These dreams won't let
you down." These Dreams - Robbie Williams.     Ray was seething as the new
guy that had just been transferred from the thirteenth gave his lover a
rather too appreciative glace that was practically a leer. Yeah, he could
appreciate the guys taste, Stan was pretty nice on the eyes, but could he
help it if he was the territorial type, he never liked sharing, not even
when he was a kid. So he decided to go and mark his territory.  
"Vecchio," he introduced himself coldly butting in Stan's and the new guys
conversation with an outthrust hand.   "Ryan," the impressively large guy
returned.   "Whatever," Ray dismissed turning his attention to Stan, "you
actually going to do any work today?" he asked sarcastically.   "That's so
rich coming from Mister Workaholic, I think not," Stan shot back
good-naturedly, as he turned back to his desk.	  Ray shot Ryan an evil
glare as the other mans eyes wandered down to his lover's ass, enjoying
the scenery. Ray heard a faint growing sound and was surprised to discover
it was coming from him. Ryan gave him a bemused look and Ray swore he'd
have to punch this guy's lights out at some point. But he was saved from
the assault charges and the extra paperwork that goes with them by Stan as
he suddenly appeared behind him suggesting they go find Fraser and ask him
for some help on the latest case they were working on. Ray dumbly turned
and followed Stan out of the precinct. They walked out to the Riv and Stan
slid into the passenger side, the only way they could agree who was to
drive was for them to alternate whose car they took each day, it saved a
lot of arguments that way.    "So whaddaya think?"    "About what?" Ray
asked confused. Praying that Stan wasn't referring to the little scene
he'd just made in the bullpen.   "The case, ya think something's going
on?"   "I don't know politicians get hate mail all the time, doesn't mean
it's not from some harmless opposition supporter." Ray paused, "why do we
need Fraser?"   "Cuz it looked like you were about to take Detective
Milner's head off and play basketball with it, I thought it might do you
some good to get out of the precinct for a while." Ray shot Stan a worried
apologetic glace, but all he saw in his lover's eyes was a quiet kind of
humour and amusement.    "I'm not normally so crazy," Ray started to
explain, "I'm just a bit tired," Ray almost cringed at the lameness of his
excuse as soon as it left his mouth.    "That's right, ya didn't get much
sleep last night did you? Even after our early night," Stan replied
suggestively. Ray looked at his partner closely, Stan hadn't even
questioned what he'd done, he'd just accepted what he'd told him, this was
one of the reasons their partnership and their relationship worked so
well, they trusted one another, even if Ray did have a funny way of
showing it sometimes.    Ray halted abruptly outside the consulate.   "We
were actually going to get him, weren't we?" Ray questioned.   "Yeh,
course we were, he must go mad in the consulate all day, no disgusting
things to lick and its no fun talking got the wolf without embarrassing
us, right?" Ray grinned at his partner as they both got out of the car and
climbed the steps up to the consulate.   As they entered the building they
walked straight into the fuming path of Hurricane Thatcher.    "Constable,
what are they doing here?"   "I, um, oh dear," Fraser struggled.   "We
need the Mountie," Stan helpfully supplied.   "Do you need him for any
purposes involving Canadians?" Thatcher demanded in an icy tone.   "Ya, if
ya don't let us borrow Fraser then there will be a lot of Canadian torture
in the Chicago area, Capice Inspector?" Stan replied sweetly.   "Are you
threatening me Detective?" The temperature in Thatcher's voice dropped
another couple of degrees that Ray didn't think was possible, "because if
you are, let me assure you that your lieutenant will get to hear about
this."   "Where's ya evidence? It's entirely circumstantial, it would
never make the courts and you know it," Stan looked at his watch, "well I
guess even good little Mounties get lunch hours, am I right?"   "Fine, be
back in an hour, no later!" Thatcher demanded defeated against the
annoyance of the local inhabitants and wished for the thousandth time that
morning that she was still in Canada.   "Thank you kindly, sir," Fraser
replied to her back as she stalked off to reprimand Turnball, again.  
"Stan, I really don't know why you insist on deliberately aggravating
Inspector Thatcher in that manner, she has become hostile towards you."
Fraser paused considering, "I mean even more hostile towards you," Fraser
amended as he climbed into the front of the Riv as Stan and Diefenbaker
clambered into the back.   "Hey Frase, everyone needs a pastime, I got
mine, you got yers, if mine happens to be annoying the Ice Queen then I'm
sorry, but I gotta get my kicks somewhere,"   "Understood," Fraser replied
although he really didn't understand what Stan was talking about,
Americans as a rule normally had a strange sense of humour.   "Benny,
we're sorry about that, it would appear that Stan doesn't know when to
keep his mouth shut," Ray spoke to Fraser but shot a glare at Stan in his
rear-view mirror.    "Hey," Stan protested, only to be interrupted by Ray
giving Fraser the low-down on their latest case, a local politician had
been receiving hate mail, it was a high profile case, so high up people
were on Welsh's ass about it, that meant that Welsh was on their ass about
it. Ray really hated cases like these, he wanted to go and actually help
people, get drug dealers off of the streets, arrest murderers, not
baby-sit some over paid bureaucrat. Fraser, of course, listened politely
to all of the details concerning the case, not that they had a lot;
Alderman Selby had received several letters over the past few weeks
leading up to the elections, the usual threatening things. Did he know of
anyone in particular have a grudge against him? Well he's a politician, so
probably half of the city, well they really don't have enough time to
question all of those suspects.   "Hmmm," Fraser muttered deep in thought.
  "What the hell does dat mean Fraser?" Stan demanded irritated, "Speak
English, not Canadian."   "Stan, most Canadians do speak English, and
those that do not speak French, many speak both languages, they are
bilingual Stan, although, there is not an independent language for Canada,
so I cannot speak in Canadian you see Stan, because it does not
technically exist as a separate and..."   "Fraser I did not want the
lecture," Stan wailed from the back seat. Ray smirked quietly to himself,
it wasn't long ago that that kind of exchange between Stan and Fraser
would make him feel jealous and excluded, that was until he and Stan
discovered some things that they had in common, quite a lot of things Ray
thought with a sinful grin, no that he could tell the Mountie that, no
way, Fraser thinks that they'd just managed to put their differences
behind them and act mature, neither Ray nor Stan were going to correct him
otherwise. They didn't like keeping things from Fraser, but they just
couldn't imagine having that conversation with him in a sane universe,
there may be a few things that Fraser didn't understand, homosexual sex
was most likely one of them Ray presumed. They didn't think he'd treat
them differently, or even be disgusted by them; in fact he'd probably be
happy for them, that only made it worse somehow.    "Where are we going?"
Fraser enquired.   "Were going to pay the alderman a quick visit buddy,
thought you might like to tag along for the ride." Ray supplied.   "Thank
you kindly,"   0o0o0   They stepped into a luxuriously decorated lobby
while they waited for an escort into the alderman's office; security had
been tightened since the beginning of the hate mail.   They were
eventually led to the alderman, Ray thought it was just in time, Stan was
getting impatient and his pacing and muttering about how he'd like to kill
the alderman was beginning to get on his nerves.    The alderman was in
his late fifties and had steel grey hair, and not much of it Ray thought
maliciously. He was dressed in an expensive, well-tailored suit, that, at
least Ray could appreciate. They all stood opposite the sitting alderman,
since there was a lack of chairs.    "I'm Detective Vecchio, this is
Detective Kowalski and Constable Fraser," Ray introduced.   "I'll never
remember that, just ask your questions so I can get back to some real
work," the alderman declared rudely.   "May I remind you that we are here
because you asked us to be, and we are here to protect you, a fact that
you at least be a little appreciative of." Stan stated sarcastically, Ray
could almost see the involuntary twitching of his arm muscles as he tried
desperately not to kick the alderman in the head.    "Who is your superior
officer young man?" The alderman demanded from Stan.   "Lieutenant Welsh,
I'm sure he'd be more than happy to listen to you whine about us, that is
if he's got some free time between the murders and real crimes that he's
solving,"    "Stan.." Ray warned,   "What is a Mountie doing in Chicago?"
the alderman asked, dismissing Stan,   "Well, I first came to Chicago on
the trial of the killers of my father, and for reasons that, well, don't
need exploring at this juncture, I have remained, attached as liaison with
the Canadian Consulate,"    "Very interesting," the alderman's tone
indicated that he thought anything but that.   "Anyway, about the letters,
how did they arrive here?"   "They were all sent via the normal mail
system, apart from the last one, that was hand delivered,"   "Hmmm,"  
"Fraser," Stan warned in a deadly voice.   "It's just that an escalation
like that is typical, have they begun to be delivered closer together?"  
"No, why, is that unusual?" Ray swore if he didn't know better, he'd say
the alderman looked almost scared.   "What day do they normally arrived?"
Ray asked.   "Tuesday, although the last one arrived on Monday,"   "Ahhh,"
  "Fraser!" Stan hissed.   "Is that all you need?" the alderman dismissed
by turning his swivel chair away from them,   "Sure, ya think of anything
that may actually help us give us a call," Stan said as he dropped his
card onto the desk. What they didn't see as they left the office was the
alderman lifting the phone quickly and demanding to the person on the
other end that those 'incompetent' cops were to take this seriously.
Fraser, of course, thanks to his 'above, above average' hearing heard this
conversation clearly as they waited to be escorted out of the building.   
They strolled down the alley next to the office block to the Riv only to
be met with a car speeding towards them; Fraser was the quickest of them
to react, pushing them out of the way of the oncoming vehicle. The car
screeched past, and Ray could see the driver and his accomplice both had
masks on to hide their faces. The three of them turned and began sprinting
in the other direction as it became apparent that the car was just turning
around to try again.   "The alley's getting narrower," Fraser helpfully
supplied   "We're not going to make it to the end," Ray, also helpfully
inputted as they heard the roaring of the engine approaching them. They
all sprinted up the nearest fire escape, they heard the screech of the
brakes as the car halted abruptly and its occupants began chasing on foot.
By the time they reached the roof the trio were all panting hard, and
Dief, who had been waiting in the car had joined them. They only paused
for a second before a growl from Dief warned them that the psychos that
were trying to kill them were nearly there to try again. Ray began to
wonder what could make this day any worse.   They ran across the roof to
the shelter of an air conditioning vent that stuck out, they crouched
behind it and scanned the roof, they couldn't see the assailants anywhere,
but there were several other vents stuck out making it impossible to tell
if they were on the roof or not. Dief woofed a quiet warning and they
silently agreed they needed to search the roof to find them, so Stan could
kick them in the head, Fraser disagreed with this, he said they needed to
be arrested, but Stan was adamant, they could be arrested after being
kicked in the head, that was the most he was willing to compromise.   Stan
insisted that Ray go with Fraser to search and he'd take Dief, they'd go
opposite ways and meet on the other side of the roof, hopefully with the
criminals in handcuffs. Ray wasn't happy about leaving Stan only with the
wolf, but he knew Stan would get funny if he said anything, he'd think he
was belittling his abilities as an officer, Ray just couldn't help it if
he worried, Stan had come to mean more to him than he'd wanted, he'd
broken through all of his defences and somehow crawled inside his heart,
of course he'd never tell Stan that, fucking a man is one thing, loving
one is entirely different, although in his own way he thought Stan
understands his feelings and returns them silently.    Both Chicago cops
pulled their guns and set off in the opposite directions. Ray and Fraser
quietly sprinted to the shelter of the next vent and peered around the
edge, they still couldn't see or hear anything, they could see Stan
crouched behind an identical vent to theirs, he spotted them and touched
the side of his nose with his thumb, Ray returned the gesture, they heard
Dief growl and saw Stan spin around and raise his gun into the face of one
of the masked men, only to be hit on the head by a piece of two by four by
the man that suddenly appeared behind him, they watched helplessly as they
began to run over to their fallen partner, Stan was struggling to stay
stood up, but managed to land a solid punch on the guy in front of him,
dislodging his mask.   "You!" They heard Stan exclaim although Stan
obscured the face of the assailant, the man turned and ran, pulling his
overalls over his head.    The man behind Stan hit him again, harder this
time; Ray winced at the loud clunking sound as the wood connected to his
lovers head. This time Stan did go down, his sank limbless to the ground
with a small grunt of pain.   "Stan!" Ray called out to him in
desperation, seeing Stan attempting to get back up, he took off in pursuit
of the men who dared do that to his lover and partner. But by the time he
got down the fire escape the car had already sped off leaving the foul
stench of burning rubber in the air. He climbed back up the stairs two at
a time, desperate to be reassured that his lover was going to be fine, he
would be, Stan had a hard head. He'd be fine, he always was. He was
pleased to see that by the time he got back to his partners Stan was
stood, holding on to Fraser's shoulder, a little pale and shaky, but he
was stood, he'd be fine.    "You think you need to go to the hospital?"
Ray asked concerned, knowing that Stan would say no instantly, one of
those automatic response thingys.   "Huh?" Stan slurred confused.   "Hey
man, are you ok?" he said as his took Stan's elbow and began to steer him
back towards the fire escape, he figured a quick trip to the hospital
would be a good idea, it had to be worse than they first thought if Stan
hadn't refused outright.    "Where're we goin'?" Stan asked as they began
to propel him over to the stairs.   "Hospital buddy, promise you won't
have to stay too long,"   "Oh,"    Stan was unusually quiet as they went
down the stairs, but both Fraser and Ray both thought that anyone who'd
just been hit over the head twice had the right to a little peace and
quiet. As they reached the bottom of the stairs Stan paled even more and
dashed to a nearby conveniently located dumpster and proceeded to lose his
lunch into it.	  "You ok?" Ray asked in distress noting the glazed,
confused look in his lovers beautiful blue eyes.   "Who are you?" Ray
smiled, if Stan was up to pissing around then he can't be that bad.  
"Good one buddy, I'm in hysterics, now lets go so we can get back
quicker,"   "You in a circus?" Stan asked Fraser, Fraser shot Ray a
worried glance; this didn't look so good.   "Stan, stop shitting us man,
you've had your little joke, it was very funny, kudos for originality, but
we've got work to do,"   "Where are we?" Stan seemed to take in his
surroundings for the first time.   "Stan, you were hit on the head, do you
remember that?" Ray asked in a soft voice. Stan shook his head, he looked
confused and frightened and sort of lost, he began to look at his feet but
his head sprang up to meet Ray's eyes again when Ray put his hands onto
his shoulders.   "So you don't remember who the man in the mask was?"
again Stan shook his head slowly as he looked slowly up and down the
alley.   "Ray, perhaps the journey to the hospital would be good right
about now," Ray felt himself numbly nodding in agreement. Between them
they steered Stan into the back seat with Dief curled up protectively next
to him. Stan was quiet the entire short journey to the hospital; Ray and
Fraser were both quiet also, through worry and the fact that they weren't
sure what to say.   As soon as they go to the hospital a young doctor saw
them and promptly settled Stan onto one of the hospital beds that he hated
so much, normally he'd be ranting and raving about being a waste of time
and how long it would be before he could get out of this prison, although
this Stan was compliant and pliable, this more than anything worried Ray.
  "What's your name?" the doctor asked Stan, Ray saw the panicked look on
his lovers expressive face as he struggled and failed to recall the tiny
piece of information. Ray wished there was something to do for him, he
then felt a stab of guilt as he realised that Stan shouldn't have been
left alone, he should have been with him, he was his partner.   "Stanley
Kowalski," Fraser helpfully informed the doctor.   "What happened?" The
doctor asked them this time,   "He was hit on the head," Ray snapped. The
doctor turned his attention back to Stan as he gently felt his head.  
"I'm Doctor Mason, does anything else hurt?" Stan slowly shook his head
again, although this movement has stopped by the doctor as he inspected
the two gashes on the back of his head caused by the initial impact with
the wood. "Ok, what I'm going to do is stitch up the two wounds, then
we'll take you for a CAT scan, we'll know more when we get those results,
are you experiencing any other symptoms like memory loss, double vision,
nausea?"    "No,"   "He threw up afterwards," Ray added.   0o0o0   The
doctor had asked them to leave as he sutured Stan head, Ray and Fraser
stood nervously in the waiting area.   "You think he'll be ok?" Ray asked
for the sixth time, and Fraser did not disappoint him, he repeated the
very same reply,   "We'll know more when the results come back,"   "He's
gotta be able to remember me, I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't, I
can't lose him, I.." Ray realised what he was saying, and more importantly
who he was saying it to and abruptly shut up.   "Ray, I do know about your
relationship," Fraser quietly informed.   "You do?" Ray squeaked back.  
"Yes, however I do not understand why you both feel like you couldn't
confide in me, I thought we were all best friends,"   "We are," Ray
quickly reassured.   "Have I done something to make you believe I would
condone such a relationship?"   "No Benny, it wasn't you, it was us, hell
it was too messy for even us to cope with, we didn't want to drag you into
it as well,"   "I'm your friends, you wouldn't be dragging me into
anything as you claim, that would be part of my duty as a friend to you,
to both of you."   "I'm sorry buddy,"   "I would appreciate it however if
you'd confide in me in such matters, you know it would be in confidence,"
Fraser paused, "not that it's any of my business of course, you are
entitled to your privacy," Fraser quickly amended.   "Nah Fraser, you've
got more than a right to know stuff like that, that also comes with the
duty of being our friends, we should have shared it with you, well there
never was an opportune time to bring it up you know, it wasn't very easy,
I had no idea what to say 'hey buddy, I'm gay and so's Stan, want to be
our best man?'" Fraser almost smiled at the absurdity of it and Ray was
relieved that some of the tension had lifted. "How'd you know anyway?"  
"You were different with each other, it was a drastic, but not unpleasant
change from your usual squabbling, and I saw the way you looked at each
other when you thought I wasn't looking, it was fairly obvious to anyone
studying your behaviour Ray,"   "Shit, you serious? I thought we were
discreet; oh man if this gets out at the precinct there'll be hell to pay.
You don't think anyone else knows do you?"   "No Ray," Fraser reassured,
"Like I said it was only obvious for those looking for it," Ray let out a
sigh of relief and they went back to waiting.   0o0o0   It was nearly half
an hour before they were allowed to see Stan again, by that time they had
already done the CAT scan and they were waiting for the results, the
doctor thought it would be a good idea for them to go and help Stan
remember his life.   "How are you feeling Stan?" Fraser asked as they
walked into the room. Stan shot Fraser a dirty look and Fraser instantly
regretted his stupid question. Ray perched himself on the edge of Stan's
bed and was pleased to see that he looked better, he wasn't as pale, the
wounds on the back of his head looked a lot better, although they had had
to shave off some of his lovers hair, Stan would normally have gone mad if
anyone dared mess with his spikes Ray realised sadly.    "Who are you?"
Stan asked them, "The doctor said you were cops,"   "That's right," Ray
was pleased that Stan could at least remember new things; he was also
pleased to have something to talk about.   "Am I a criminal?"   "No," both
Fraser and Ray exclaimed simultaneously.    "Oh," Stan quietly replied
obviously scared by their sudden vehement response.   "You are also a
detective Stan," Fraser informed.   "You're a Mountie, right?"   "That's
right yes Stan," Fraser beamed at him, Ray was happy to see his lover
smile back at Fraser.   "Are you a Mountie too?" Ray's heart fell as he
realised Stan was talking to him,   "No buddy, we're both American cops,
right here in Chicago," They were interrupted at this point by the doctor
returning, he looked happy and Ray took this as a good sign.   "Well it
would appear that you have a very hard head, you've been very lucky, there
is only a slight swelling on the brain this is putting pressure onto the
part of your brain that stores memories, this swelling should go down and
leave no long term side effects,"   "Ya mean I'll get my memory back,"
Stan asked excitedly.   "I cannot promise that, the brain is a very
unpredictable part of the anatomy, there is no medical reason why you
shouldn't regain your full memory, but like I said I cannot make any
promises. I take it you have somewhere to stay," Stan looked up at Ray and
Fraser.   "Don't worry I'll stay with him at his apartment until he gets
better," Ray offered and Stan looked up at him gratefully.   The doctor
gave Stan and him a whole list of what to look out for and whet medicine
he should take when, if any of the symptoms were to present themselves
they were to come straight back to the hospital, no matter how minor. He
was also to come back for a check up in two days.   0o0o0   As they walked
into the hustle and bustle of the bullpen Ray felt Stan suddenly walk a
lot closer to him, Ray wished he'd thought to have left Stan in the car
with Fraser while he went into the precinct to explain the situation to
the lieutenant. But the doctor had said it would be good for him to see
things that were familiar to him; they all stopped as Welsh came out of
his office and headed straight for them.   "Where have you been? You were
meant to be back hours ago, we have procedures for a reason and you are
expected to follow them," he bellowed. Ray felt Stan side step so he was
fully behind him, Ray was almost pleased that even though Stan couldn't
remember him he still trusted him to protect him from what must seem like
a raving lunatic.    "Sir, some people tried to kill us," Ray said taking
a step forward.   "Who tried to kill you?" Welsh demanded,   "We don't
know," Ray replied.   "Well didn't you see them?" Welsh bellowed.   " I
didn't no, sir,"   "What is that supposed to mean? Constable did you see
them?"   "Ah, no sir, I did not, however.."   "Kowalski, by my superior
powers of deduction, I presume that, you, at least saw something," Welsh
groused exasperated.   "I, uh, yes sir," Kowalski replies form behind Ray.
  "Who were they?" Welsh enunciated each word carefully to the cowering
detective, Welsh was confused, Kowalski was the first one to talk back and
be disrespectful, despite the strangeness of the trio he genuinely liked
all of them and they made a great team, they had the best arrest record in
the whole precinct.    "Dunno," Stan's reply was so quiet that Welsh
thought he'd imagined it, for the first time he actually looked at the
detective, he noted the cuts on his head and his pale complexion.  
"Leftenant, perhaps we could discuss this in your office?" Fraser tried.  
"I guess you lot have a lot of explaining to do," Welsh grumbled as he
turned back towards his office.   0o0o0   "Sir, it would appear that Stan
has amnesia," Fraser enlightened.   "No kidding Sherlock," Welsh groaned,
"What did the doctors say?"   "He'll be fine, but they don't know when or
if he'll get his memory back. It's exactly the same as when Frase had it,"
  "Inspector Thatcher has been on the phone several times wondering where
you are, not that she put it that politely, I think Turnball let the
kettle boil for too long and it exploded,"   "Oh dear,"   "She also said
something about the CPD threatening the Canadian population, although I
think that can wait for another time," Welsh said sending a sympathetic
glance to the youngest detective, he didn't look so good, he was studying
the floor intently, "Kowalski," Stan's head snapped up at the sound of his
name, "I don't want to see you in here for at least a week, ok?"   "Ok,"  
"Come on Frase I'll drop you off at the consulate on the way to Stan's
apartment, don't want the Dragon Lady to have a hernia do we?"   They all
walked out of Welsh's office.   "You ok Stan? Do you want to look around?
It may help," Ray asked quietly against the hustle and bustle.   "Sure, if
ya think it might help,"   "Good Frase will show you around, I'll go clear
some stuff up with Welsh, case loads and that crap,"   Fraser reintroduced
him to the duck boys and Francesca, Fraser was pleased to find that they
were all nice to him, Stan hadn't exactly been overly nice to them
recently in fact he'd played some rather nasty practical jokes on the duck
boys involving a trout a mousetrap and some itching powder, not all at the
same time mind you, although Heuy and Dewey had retaliated in an equally
childish manner. They'd made it up to Detective Milner's desk when Frannie
called Fraser away to take a phone call from an irate Inspector Thatcher.
  "Stan, how are you feeling, I wished I'd been told sooner, you shouldn't
have to have gone to hospital alone,"   "I wasn't alone I had Detective
Vecchio and Constable Fraser with me," Stan replied.   "I don't mean that
kind of alone, I mean alone alone," Ryan replied as he put one hand gently
onto Stan's arm.   "There's a difference?" Stan questioned confused,
staring at the alien hand resting on his arm.   "Course there's a
difference," Ryan chuckled throatily as he began to slowly caress Stan's
arm.    "You're gay?" Stan asked uncertainly,   "Enough name calling,
that's like the pot calling the kettle black. You're my pot,"   "Excuse
me?"   "It hurts so much that you don't remember me," Ryan feigned a hurt
expression, while all the time he was thinking what Stan would look like
naked, well if he played this right, he may get a chance to find out.
"Come here," Ryan suddenly said, dragging Stan with him before he had the
chance to protest, pulling him into the very closet that Stan, Ray and
Fraser had shared many strategy meetings. He dragged the door shut and
turned expectantly to Stan.   "What?" Stan asked in a pitifully small
voice, Ryan almost felt guilty about taking advantage of him while he was
so vulnerable //almost//. Ryan wrapped his arms around the trembling man,
pulling him into a tight embrace, telling himself that's all he would do
for now, in the precinct, but having the man he wanted ever since the
first time he saw him so close in his arms, he could feel the blood in his
body heading due south, to other more important parts of his anatomy. Stan
whimpered in confusion as Ryan ground his erection into the Stan's hip,
Ryan, mistaking the sound for one of desire not terror got more
adventurous, his tongue tracing the line of Stan's jaw, finally he reached
Stan's mouth and took him roughly, his tongue thrusting itself demandingly
into Stan's mouth, Stan stood, paralysed with fear as he stupidly let the
man do whatever he liked to his body. Ryan's hands were all over him, they
navigated themselves to Stan's crotch and groaned in frustration as he
mauled Stan's flaccid penis through the fabric of his jeans.   "Must be
the medication they've got you on."   "What?" Stan repeated, he didn't
know what he'd done but Ryan seemed angry with him, he didn't want to make
him mad at him, he'd let him do whatever he wanted.   "My limp little
pot,"   "Oh," Stan ducked his head in embarrassment.   "Never mind, we can
still have fun, right?" Before Stan could protest he once again found
himself being kissed painfully.   0o0o0   "Fraser, where's Stan?" Fraser
turned his wide, guilty eyes to Ray.   "It, would appear that I, ah, oh
dear, misplaced him," the Mountie stuttered.   "How can you misplace him?
Fraser? Fraser?"   "I was on the phone, I only let myself be distracted
for a minute, and when I'd turned around he was gone,"   "Gone where
Fraser?"   "I don't know," Ray's head sprang up in inspiration,   "Dief!
Dief, find Stan, if you do I'll buy you a donut," Dief appeared out of
nowhere at the mention of donut, deaf my ass thought Ray, but Dief had a
goal in mind as he quickly followed the scent of his pack mate to the
supply closet. Ray and Fraser walked up to the door, "You're sure?" Ray
asked the wolf and Dief woofed in affirmation. Ray quietly slid the door
open to discover that Milner jerk with his hands all over his lover, Ray
saw red, well that was an understatement, he saw a dozen different shades
of red; crimson, magenta....Fraser could probably tell him more, but at
that moment he didn't really care. He roughly pulled Milner away from Stan
and socked him in the jaw, then in the stomach, "Leave him alone, if I
ever see you near him again I will kill you, understand asshole?"   "Geeze
Vecchio maybe it's time you got some, you tight arsed bastard," Ray's
answer to this was to hit Milner again, who, to Ray's amusement fell on to
the floor. Ray turned his attention back to Stan who was looking at the
floor sheepishly, Stan couldn't believe it, he'd been making people mad at
him all day, and he didn't know what he'd done wrong, first Welsh, then
Ryan, now Ray, it must be really confusing trying to be this Stan guy.  
"Let's get out of here," Ray ground out, barely suppressing his temper, he
definitely didn't want to hit Stan, none of this was his fault, he
couldn't help it if he was, well, extremely susceptible to suggestions at
the moment, could he?   "I'm sorry," Stan said in a quiet voice.   "For
what?" Ray asked, Ray could see first the shock on his lover's face, then
the confusion, he had no idea what he was sorry for, he just wanted to
make him feel better, he should have told Stan in the beginning that their
partnership went further than normal partnerships, but he didn't want to
put ant extra pressure on him. Now he bitterly wished he'd told him, he
thought it was bad seeing your lover being hit on the head by some wood,
well that was nothing compared to seeing him in the arms of another man,
Ray felt as if he was the one who'd been hit with the wood, only this wood
was pointed and it was shoved straight through his heart, he felt sorry
for vampires if this was how it felt.   "Don't worry I'm not mad at you,"
Ray put Stan at ease, "but you've got to promise me something, don't trust
anything anyone says about you until you get your memory back."   "'Kay,"
Stan instantly agreed, trying to make him happy again Ray thought angrily.
  0o0o0    Ray strode out to the Riv, leaving a shamefaced looking Fraser
and Stan to follow with Dief at their heels. They all clambered in and
drove in silence to the consulate, when they got there Fraser suggested
that they bring Stan in to have a look around, they had spent a lot of
time there so it may help, Ray was reluctant, he wanted to get Stan home,
where he was safe, he could do with a rest as well, hell they all could.
But seeing as they were here and Fraser was desperately trying to make up
for the fact that he'd lost his lover Ray conceded and they all trooped
into the foyer, for yet another run-in with Hurricane Thatcher.   "About
time Constable, when I said you had a lunch hour I meant just that, not a
lunch four and a half hours, am I making myself clear," the Dragon Lady
hissed in her most venomous, icy voice. Ray felt Stan once again cower
behind him, he couldn't wait to have the old Stan back, Stan wasn't afraid
to stand up to Thatcher or Welsh, or say no to things he didn't want, he
didn't care that much about what people thought of him, and that was
usually why people liked him, unless you were one of those ones who Stan
didn't like and he went out of his way to make you miserable, Ray thought
back to that afternoon with Thatcher and smiled sadly, it seemed like such
a long time ago now. "Detective Kowalski," Thatcher turned her attention
to the cowering detective, "how nice of you to stop by," Thatcher's tone
was deadly, daring him to talk back the way he had earlier, "I told your
lieutenant about the rather nasty threats you paid me earlier, I take it
you haven't seen him, otherwise I would have thought you'd be doing
paperwork." Kowalski sank back further behind Ray, Ray thought he'd
probably bolt any second now and run, Thatcher had that effect on people
sometimes, although Ray had hoped he'd stand up to her.   "Inspector, may
I remind you that it is not a good idea to alienate the CPD, you don't
know when you might need us," Ray stepped in to defend Stan.   "I can't
think of a single reason that I would need an incompetent bunch of donut
gorging, coffee guzzling idiots, unless I was thinking about setting up a
circus, then I could use you in the freak show," the inspector smiled
sweetly,   "That's funny Inspector, I thought you already ran a circus,"
Stan would have been proud of him, hopefully one day he'd be able to
appreciate it, "No offence Frase," Ray apologised to his friend.   "None
taken,"   0o0o0   By the time they'd got to Stan's apartment Ray had
filled him in on the reasons for Thatcher's hatred towards him, Ray was
pleased that Stan actually found this amusing. Ray let himself into the
apartment with the key Stan had given him and they walked inside, Stan
stood at the door,   "Why don't you sit down?" Ray asked him, "Or are you
tired, would you rather lie down for a while,"   "I thought we were going
to my place?"   "This is your place,"   "How come you've got a key? How
come we never stopped anywhere to pick up clothes for you?" Ray actually
smiled at this, Stan was still as observant as ever and he'd obviously
listened to Ray advice about not trusting anyone, even if it did include
him, but Stan didn't normally listen to him, hell Stan didn't normally
listen to anyone.   "I stay over a lot," Ray stalled, "It's handy to have
a spare key to your partners place for when stuff like this happens,"  
"Oh," Stan studied him suspiciously, Ray felt nervous, what if Stan didn't
trust him, just like he'd told him not to, he may never trust him again.
Stan, coming to a decision smiled brightly at him and moved past him into
the kitchen, Ray felt his heart flip at the sweet little smile, he also
felt something else flip, but he could not, would not do anything about
that right now, it wouldn't be fair to Stan, he only just trusted him, he
didn't want to change that again too quickly.    Stan stood dejectedly in
the middle of the kitchen after methodically searching every cupboard and
the fridge for food, he came up with a packet of smarties and some
congealed milk.    "Maybe I'll just go to bed," Stan sighed, Ray couldn't
help himself, seeing Stan looking so lost and helpless he pulled him into
a tight hug, it was supposed to be a buddy buddy type one, purely
plutonic, but being so close to Stan, parts of him started to wake up that
had no business waking up in a friendly hug. Of course Stan would have to
be as observant as ever and it didn't take too long for him to realise
that Ray was hard, his head whipped up in surprise, his eyes like large
round saucers or shock.   "We're...?" Ray didn't see the point in lying
about it after being asked directly, besides he was too aroused now to lie
convincingly, he wasn't normally this responsive to a hug, but the thought
of losing Stan and the desperate need to reclaim him from that bastard
Milner probably had a lot to do with it.    "Yeah," Ray replied softly,
hoping that he wouldn't scare him away, although he was too late to react
as Stan pulled out of his arms and raced off around the apartment, "Stan,
look, wait, I don't want anything but if it makes you uncomfortable I
could ask Fraser to stay here with you, but I'm telling you the truth, I'd
never lie to you, I love you," Ray clamped his mouth shut, although it was
true, they had never said that aloud to each other it was also the last
thing Stan needed to hear right now, he didn't need to feel guilty about
hurting him, Stan just needed to concentrate on getting better, and if Ray
was going to make that harder for him, he would leave, simple as that, he
just wanted his Stan back, and if leaving got him back quicker, then he
would leave. Ray reluctantly followed Stan into his bedroom, shocked to
find Stan rummaging around in his underwear drawer.   "These yours?" Stan
asked throwing him a pair of his silk boxers,   "Yeah, they're mine, why?"
   "Well I listened to you earlier, 'bout not trusting people, so I
figured I had to find some evidence, I don't think I'd leave just anyone's
boxers in my underwear drawer, also there's two suits that I know I'd
never wear, also Two toothbrushes, although there is only one razor, that
confused me a little,"   "You're lazy you use and electric one it's in
your top bedside drawer," Ray informed, "So you believe me?"   "Look me in
the eye and tell me that again," Stan ordered walking over to stand
directly in Ray's face,   "I love you," Ray croaked, once again too aware
of the nearness of Stan's body, this was going to be a long night.   "I
believe ya, and I think I love ya too,"   "You remember that," Ray asked
excitedly,   "Not so much remember, but I dunno it's like an instinct or
summit I guess, you were the only one I felt safe with, you were the one I
thought I could trust, strange eh?"   "I guess some things are harder to
forget than others right?"   0o0o0   They stayed up late into the night,
Ray telling Stan as much as he could about his life, he talked about his
parents, the GTO, the Stella and him and Fraser. He told him about their
relationship and how they first got together he wasn't sure whether to
miss out the fact that they used to hate each other, but added it in
anyway, Stan needed to know everything, keeping secrets from him wouldn't
do either of them any good. Eventually Stan got up and yawned, Ray noted
he looked a lot better, he had colour in his cheeks again and was a lot
more relaxed than he'd seen him since being hit on the head. Stan
stretched his arms over his head and let out another jaw cracking yawn,
every muscle was outlined by the thin fabric of his tee shirt being pulled
taut.   "You need some sleep?" Ray asked, although he already knew the
answer, he couldn't help feeling disappointed that he wouldn't get to
spend much more time with Stan, plus the couch didn't really look that
comfortable.   "Yeah that'd be good, what 'bout you?"    "I'm whacked too,
definitely time for some sleep," They both slowly walked into the bedroom,
Stan busied himself brushing his teeth and Ray started to get out an extra
blanket and pillow.   "T'ain't dat cold," Stan said around a mouthful of
toothpaste.   "What?" Ray asked as Stan spat into the sink.   "I said, it.
ain't. dat. cold,"   "You want me to sleep without a blanket?" Ray was
tired and confused, what the hell was Stan talking about?   "Is there
something wrong with my duvet?"   "Your duvet is fine Stan, why?" Ray
asked in a tone that a father would use on a child that continually tests
his patience.   "You're not going to sleep with me?" Stan asked in a sad
voice and shot him a look that put Benny's big innocent Mountie look to
shame.   "I don't think that's a good idea do you?"   "Why not?" Stan shot
him 'the look' again and Ray knew he was powerless to resist, he carefully
replaced the blanket and pillow, brushed his own teeth and followed Stan
to the bed, Stan was just stood there, looking at the bed, Ray for a
terrible second thought that he'd changed his mind, he could deal with
abstinence of Stan, but Stan going hot and cold on him, he could not deal
with.   "What's wrong?" Ray asked him as softly as he could, he didn't
want to pressure Stan into it, he wanted Stan to always have an 'out' if
he needed it.   "Which side of the bed is mine?" he asked cheekily as he
turned around and graced Ray with a brilliant smile that was reminiscent
of the 'old' Stan, Ray couldn't help himself, he'd been so controlled all
day, so good, even after that shit with Milner, he never took any of it
out on Stan, he'd tried to protect him from Welsh and the Dragon Lady, but
suddenly in the face of this smiling Stan, that reminded him so much of
his Stan, all of his self control and restraint took a decidedly quick
movement out of the window, dropping six stories where it was pulverised
to death.   Ray enveloped him in a tight hug, breathing deeply Stan's
scent that still smelt like him. Before Ray knew what he was doing he was
slowly kissing and licking Stan's neck as he pushed them both down onto
the bed, Ray straddling Stan, trying to cover him entirely with his body.
Stan let out a contented sigh from underneath him, Ray knew in his heart
what he was doing was wrong, wrong in every sense of the word, but his
body didn't agree with him, and right now Ray wasn't thinking with his
brain, other parts of his anatomy had confiscated his controls.   Ray
quickly divested Stan of his black tee shirt and jockeys that he was
wearing. Stan didn't look scared or even unsure as he had looked with
Milner, the was writhing and moaning underneath him, Ray decided now was
not the time for teasing Stan, so he kissed a trail of butterfly kisses
along his torso until he reached his partner's groin, Stan made a little
needy, desperate groan in the back of his throat which quickly turned into
a shriek of pleasure as Ray engulfed the head of his penis with his mouth.
It wasn't long until Ray could tell his lover was close, he could feel
Stan's body tense up as he began a garbled warning,   "Hey, Ray,
Stop...I'm, uh, I'm gonna..." Stan panted,   "Ray waited until his lover
was totally spent before he reluctantly removed his mouth, knowing that
the sensation that had once been highly pleasurable for Stan would now
hurt his sensitised cock. Stan sank boneless onto the mattress panting
deeply, Ray crawled back up his lover's body and kissed him solidly on the
mouth, Ray deepened the kiss as his own need began to make new, urgent
demands. Ray quickly removed his own clothes and then stilled, unsure of
how to proceed, surely he couldn't do what they normally did, could he?
That would probably scare Stan half to death.   "What's wrong? Did I do
something wrong?" Stan asked worriedly in a small voice, Ray looked down
into those scared pale blue eyes that he adored so much and cursed himself
for making Stan scared again.    "No," Ray quickly reassured, but hen
realised that maybe that needed a little more explanation when Stan
changed his scared look for a confused one, "I just don't know, well,
what.." Ray couldn't believe he'd just sucked this guy's cock and now he
couldn't even speak maturely about sex.   "Whaddaya want?" Stan asked
huskily, picking up on the message in Ray's cryptic monologue. Ray knew
what he wanted, but that didn't help matters, he didn't know if this Stan
could give him what he wanted. Ray froze as Stan climbed out form under
him, he'd gone too far, he'd actually scared him away, but then Stan
returned pressing a tube of lubricant into his palm.   "How did you..?"  
"Found it in the drawer when I was looking for my razor, I presumed it was
there because we use it, right?"   "You're still a great detective Stan,"
Ray smiled as Stan blushed, "but are you sure you want this?"   "I trust
you," Stan replied simply, but those small three words, not the three
words people normally want to hear, but to Ray they were the sweetest
thing that Stan could have said and it warmed him, "How'd you want me?"
These words had an entirely different effect on Ray, they reminded him of
his own desire and need. Ray positioned Stan on his back on the bed, Stan
looked up at him doubtfully.   "It'll work," Ray indignantly defended his
personal choice of positions. He then lifted Stan's legs over his
shoulders and was pleased that Stan couldn't forget how to be flexible. He
spread the lubricant on his fingers and gently slid them over Stan's
exposed opening. He felt Stan jump suddenly at the unexpected sensation.
He looked worriedly up into Stan's face.   "S'cold,"   "Sorry," Ray smiled
warmly as he noticed his partners renewed arousal at the tiny caress. He
then gently slid his fingers into Stan's tight opening and smiled even
broader as Stan closed his eyes in pleasure at the sensation. Ray
increased the tempo of his finger fucking and introduced a third to the
pair that were already in his lover's ass. Stan hiked his hips up, giving
Ray an easier angle of entry. Ray removed his fingers and slowly replaced
them with his cock. Stan grunted in approval at the change, Ray slowly
began to thrust into Stan at the reaffirmation that he was ok. Ray was so
close, he could feel Stan was as well again, his hips took on a life of
their own and sped up, eliciting a happy moan from Stan, Ray could feel
the impending rush as he thrust one more time, in his post coital haze he
vaguely remembered Stan coming as well, spilling his hot seed onto their
stomachs.   Ray, panting hard, did his best to clear up the mess using a
discarded tee shirt and shifted position so Stan was on top of him, his
legs splayed to either side of Ray's hips, his head resting on his chest,
Ray smiled contently as Stan eyes closed slowly as he sank into a deep
sleep, he suddenly felt a stab of guilt, what he did was wrong, of course
he knew that, but what he did could almost be classed as cheating on Stan,
the man he had just fucked was not his lover, it was Stan, but it wasn't
Stan, Ray realised he wasn't making too much sense as he felt his own
heavy lidded eyes close as he joined Stan in deep slumber.   0o0o0   Ray
woke up early to an empty bed, Ray pulled on some underwear and ventured
out into the living room to find Stan sat on the sofa drinking coffee,
looking over the case files Ray had brought home with them yesterday. For
a minute Ray thought that he had got his memory back, but scraped that
idea as Stan turned around and gave him a small uncertain smile, Ray
smiled back, hiding his disappointment that Stan still couldn't remember
him and Stan quickly smiled a real smile back.   "What are you doing?" Ray
asked him as he sat down next to him.   "Reading, there's coffee in the
pot if you want some, it's still hot." Ray quickly grabbed himself a cup
then rejoined Stan.   "Solved it yet?" Ray asked indicating to the file.  
"It doesn't make any sense," Stan started, "Why would someone sending
death threats to alderman Selby try to kill us, what would they gain from
it? Also there has been no escalation in the violence or regularity of the
letters, you would expect them to get worse and more frequent as time went
on, especially with the election coming up. The letters arrived on
Tuesday, which would mean that they were posted on Monday, probably after
writing them on Sunday."   "That's very interesting, but it doesn't help
us,"   "No it doesn't,"   "Let's give it a rest, yeah?"    "Sure," Stan
agreed flipping on the TV using the remote,    "Wait!" Ray ordered as Stan
flipped past the news channel, the alderman was there with his family
talking about the horrors of the evils of society sending him threatening
letters and injuring cops, if he was elected he'd change that, make
Chicago safe for children and women to walk the street at night.   "Slimy
bastard," Ray groused.   "Any publicity is good publicity,"   "What did
you say?"   "I said any.."   "It was him!" Ray exclaimed, pointing
excitedly at the image on the screen.   "Huh?"   "You said yourself, any
publicity is good publicity, and that is one hell of a lot of publicity!
You recognised the guy, when you saw him, you recognised him,"   "That
could have been anyone, I probably know a lot of people," Stan replied
doubtfully. Someone knocking on the door interrupted Ray. He went to
answer it to find a bright red Mountie on the other side.   "I know who it
was," the Mountie blurted, "Good morning Ray, Stan, how are you feeling?"
he added belatedly.   "Fine,"   "Who did what Frase?"   "It was alderman
Selby, Ray,"   "We know," Fraser did a double take, looking slightly put
out; he obviously didn't like other people stepping on his toes in the
brainy department Ray thought happily, "How'd you know?"   "Well I heard
the alderman on the phone after we left his office yesterday, he sounded
annoyed, at first I suspected he had carried out his threat to complain to
leftenant Welsh about Stan, although when I spoke to him earlier he said
he had not received a phone call from the alderman, I then did some
checking around, the alderman only ever has Sundays off, perfect for
writing the letter late on Sunday night so it will arrive early on
Tuesday, except for the last letter, that was hand delivered on the Monday
because the alderman was at a rally all weekend. An escalation like that
would be normal, however the content doesn't get more threatening or the
periods between letters get less, so this kind of sudden escalation is
unusual. He tried too hard to keep them regular and perfect, he doesn't
have the same mentally unstable hatred a real perpetrator would have to
drive them, he did it almost mechanically if you will, not emotionally."  
"Mentally unstable, my ass, he tried to kill me,"   "Ah, yes, I believe he
never actually intended to do any serious damage,"   "You said he hit me
on the head,"   "Yes,"   "With a plank of wood,"   "Yes,"   "So what
constitutes as serious harm in your vocabulary?"   "Oh," Fraser paused,
then proven wrong he changed the subject, "how did you know alderman Selby
was responsible?" Ray realising how pathetic their theory was to Fraser's
decided to bow out.   "I don't think we need to explore that at this
juncture, do you?" the Mountie gave him a confused smile.   "Am I
interrupting anything?" Fraser suddenly asked taking in Ray and Stan's
state of undress, Ray only in his boxers with Stan's cum dried over his
belly, Stan in his jockeys and tee shirt, the black one they had used to
try and clean up with, it had streaks of dried cum, forming a white crazy
pattern over the front of it.   "Uh, no Benton Buddy, I just gotta go
shower, make yourself at home and then we'll go nail the bastard." Fraser
stood stiffly, as if on guard duty in the middle of the room, Stan looked
at him warily then retreated into the bedroom to get changed.   0o0o0   
They all piled into the alderman's office half an hour later.   "You are
under arrest, anything you say or do, will be used against you in a court
of law, you don't have any rights scumbag, I took them away the moment you
hit my partner with a stick," Ray growled as he advanced on the alderman.
  "You don't have any evidence," The aldermen smugly boasted, "I'll be out
in twenty four hours," Ray paused, they didn't really have any evidence,
but surely they could collect that later, right?   "That is where you may
he wrong, that discolouration on your cheek and the slight swelling of
your upper lip looks remarkably like a bruise, no matter how hard you
tried to cover it up. A bruise that could have been caused by a punch to
the face," Fraser stated.   "I walked into a door,"   "We have an eye
witness," Fraser tried again,   "Who, him?" the alderman stalked over to
Stan, "He can't even remember his own name, let alone my face," he
chuckled, that's when he made his first mistake, he grabbed Stan by the
shoulders and shook him violently and pushed him to the floor before any
of the others had a chance to react. Stan's head connected to the hardwood
floor with a loud thud, Ray quickly handcuffed the alderman.   "Well
that's assaulting a police officer to start with we'll see what else we
can add when we get to the precinct," Ray snarled dangerously.	  "Ray,
hold that bastard still while I kick him in the head,"   "Stan?"   "The
one and only, I've got the worst fucking headache though, got any
aspirin?" the lovers smiled brilliantly at each other and Ray felt as if
he was falling in love again.   0o0o0   After dropping the alderman off at
the station with a nice list of crimes to be charged for and a quick visit
to the hospital the trio sat once again in Stan's apartment eating pizza
with Dief at their feet being for a slice.   "I let the Ice Queen yell at
me?" Stan repeated disbelievingly,    "Yeah you did," Ray agreed,   "Just
wait till I see her next," Stan grinned evilly, Ray happily enclosed his
lover's hand in his and Fraser smiled at them. Ray was pleased, he was
truly happy everything was back to normal. Everything was perfect. He
looked deep into Stan's eyes and saw the never spoken three little words.
Everything was more then perfect.   The END   - Man my fingers ache, no
rude jokes you dirty minded peeps. This was actually only supposed to be a
short story, but I guess that's what extreme boredom does to you.