Lonely Vision      Lonely Vision

 by BlueJade

  

 Author's website: http://www.livejournal.com/users/silentfire

 Disclaimer: i don't own them- never have, never will. but they're pretty,
so i like to borrow them every now and again. 

 Author's Notes: 

 Story Notes: a few nights ago i felt this need to write. nothing in
particular, so i just sat down and started typing. super-short and i guess
there's a little bit of me in the speaker.

 

 

 Why aren't you here? 

 You know I need you, need you like I need oxygen- maybe more so. A few
brain cells seem a trifling price to pay to have you near. 

 I can see you in my mind's eye- every detail, every mannerism. I know the
length of your stride, the angle of your body (every angle on your body),
the don't-fuck-with-me attitude you keep balanced somewhere at the base of
your spine. You walk like your childhood idols, tough, confident heroes
you watched as a kid. 

 In yet another daydream-movie in which you are the star, you walk toward
me and allow me a glimpse of that shining grin, the one that curls slowly
across your lips. You always turn it into a tease, making me brush light
kisses across your mouth until you finally give in and kiss me back. You
love making me crazy, don't you? 

 You stand at arm's length; this, too, is part of your game (how you
manage patience in this I'll never know- it's the only time you exhibit
the trait). At this moment I feel a very real gravitational pull, and
there's nothing I'd like better than to fall into the black hole. But I
fight it and take a moment to look at you. 

 You're an extraordinary creature, all sharp lines and defined features
and powerful masculinity. The energy around you is a tangible thing; your
lean frame practically vibrates with it. You call yourself skinny and
gangly, but you move with (admittedly surprising) grace and there is
nothing frail about you besides your psyche. 

 You are beautiful, and I'll do whatever it takes to make you believe it. 

 You take a step forward and continue the exquisite torture- close enough
to touch but still a galaxy away. I ache to touch you, to trace patterns
on your skin with my fingertips and my tongue until you're trembling. From
your spiky hair to the balls of your feet, I know I could go over it all
inch by inch and be eager to start over again. 

 I know you worry about it sometimes, but I could never, never get tired
of you. 

 You slide your eyes up my body, leaving trails of fire in their wake.
When they finally meet mine, the pure heat in them is replaced by a
tenderness you'll never admit to. I know it's there, though; you wear
masks very well, but your eyes say what your voice sometimes can't. 

 The real surprise is the realization that you can see through my
defenses, too. No matter how I fight it, you always break down the walls
I've built against the world. It strikes me sometimes that you are aptly
named- you are the light that saved me from my shadows. 

 How was I ever happy before you? 

 Finally, finally, you raise you hand to my cheek. I close my eyes and
give in to the sensations, the emotions stirring in and around me. Nothing
is real but you and how you make me feel. Your body moves closer to mine-
I can feel it- and I lift my arms to hold you at last . . . 

 and then I blink, and realize I'm alone. 

 Come back to me soon. There's plenty of air, but I'm gasping for breath-
for you. 

End Lonely Vision by BlueJade: bluejade@partlycloudy.com

Author and story notes above.