Learning Curve Learning Curve by Aouda Fogg Disclaimer: Not mine. Alliance's. No infringement or violation intended. Author's Notes: Story Notes: This started out as an experiment -- my first time playing with first person -- and to my delight, it turned into something . No smut, but there are references to such activities ;) I've learned a lot the last year or so. Like, did you know that cots tip over like nobody's business? And let's not even mention how easy it is to collapse one. And when they collapse? Tend to make a fair amount of noise. Wolf hair gets into everything. Everything. Did you know neet's foot oil is a bitch to get out of upholstery? They actually do make special hat stretcher/stand things. And people do actually use them. It's possible to set a world record in unbuttoning clothing. Turns out I like caribou stew. Almost turned in my "I'm an American" card over that one. Telling stories around a campfire is greatness. Always carry a Zippo lighter; turns out dropping matches into snow makes 'em just a little hard to light. Who knew? Lube doesn't freeze, thank god. Snowshoeing is harder than it looks. Lichen on pizza is as bad an idea as it sounds. Turns out undoing laces and hard-ons have one of those inverse relationship things. I've always been a fan, but Bob and Doug Mackenzie are funnier than I thought. Teaching someone to change the oil in a GTO can be foreplay. Long underwear has some very real advantages. Never let a slightly tipsy mountie challenge you to a hockey game. Don't ask. Curling is harder than it looks. Learning to curl can be foreplay. Tallow is not an acceptable substitute for hair gel. Warm wooly socks are one of the greatest things ever invented. Spending days where you forget to put your watch on, let alone look at it, is out of this world. There are actually a few people left who have never seen the Star Wars movies. Watching the movies with a Star Wars virgin can be foreplay. Snowmobile engines aren't all that different from any other engine. The wind blowing across snow creates some of the most bizarre, most beautiful things I've ever seen. Moss can be surprisingly soft and, uh, cushiony. Chicago is the only place you should get a hot dog with the works. And don't even get me started on the whole pountine fiasco. Standing next to a mountie can be foreplay. Life is good. End Learning Curve by Aouda Fogg: aoudafogg@yahoo.com Author and story notes above.