Irresistible Impulse Irresistible Impulse by Rushlight Author's website: http://www.slashcity.org/~rushlight Disclaimer: No harm, no foul. Author's Notes: Many thanks to Beth for plot and character discussion, and for providing endless encouragement. Story Notes: Once again, this series features a D/s relationship between Fraser and Ray (no pain involved!). If that's not your thing, then you might want to move on. :) This story is a sequel to: Special Delivery Fraser in Chains 6: Irresistible Impulse by, Rushlight He was doing it again. Ray flicked his gaze away hurriedly, trying to ignore the rising heat in his face as he struggled to get himself under control. When he looked up again, he found Fraser looking at him with an innocently inquisitive expression. "Is everything all right, Ray?" Fraser asked. Ray glared at him, forgetting for the moment that they were standing in the middle of the crowded bullpen. He took a step closer and lowered his voice to a low growl. "Put. The tongue. Away." The look Fraser gave him was baffled. "I'm not sure I--" And there it was again. Wet flicker of tongue, barely visible between those red lips, raking a damp trail across the lower one before disappearing from view again. He had to be doing it on purpose. No one could be that fucking sexy by accident. "Never mind, Fraser. Just ... never mind." Letting his breath out hard, Ray glanced up at the clock on the wall. "It's almost six. You think we got time to go talk to Fizolli before he goes home for the night?" Fraser followed his gaze, brow creasing thoughtfully. "I doubt it. Mr. Fizolli should be leaving his office in less than ten minutes, and I think it's highly unlikely we'd make it in time. Even with the way you drive." Funny Mountie. Ray cast him a sideways grin. "We can always catch him in the morning, then." Which was just fine with him. It had been a hell of a day, and he was looking forward to actually getting home at a decent hour tonight. "Not to mention the fact that if you plan to talk to him again, you may want to consider making an appointment with his secretary first." Fraser's thoughtful expression didn't fade, although his eyes were mischievous. "Mr. Fizolli is a busy man, as he made very clear to us the last time we visited. I don't believe threatening to 'kick him in the head' if he doesn't cooperate is an appropriate method of requesting an interview." Ray laughed shortly, reaching for his jacket where it lay across the back of his desk chair. "Work with me on this, Frase." Fraser shook his head bemusedly, but Ray was struck by the sudden realization that Fraser had been working with him on this case. All too often, it seemed they were working at cross purposes, getting in each other's way more often than they actually cooperated with one another. It was one of the things he'd found so very frustrating in the early stages of their partnership. But lately, everything just seemed to be clicking between them, everything sliding into place without much of an effort at all. It had to be more than the fact that he and Fraser were lovers now. Because even after they'd started sleeping together, he'd still found the man almost impossible to work with at times. All that stubborn Mountie pride, always insisting he had to be right all the time. It was damned irritating. But it was something Ray'd seen suspiciously little of lately. Against all odds, Fraser actually seemed to be trusting him. And to be perfectly honest, he was trusting Fraser more, too. It was becoming second nature, to the point where he didn't even really think about it. When Fraser corrected him, or made some innocently phrased smartass comment, Ray listened. And when Ray made the decision to go with his instincts, Fraser followed him. It was an odd balance they'd found, but there was no denying the fact that it was working for them. Maybe, just maybe, the trust they were forging inside the bedroom lately was bleeding over into their professional lives as well. "What are you thinking about?" Fraser's voice was low, as if he sensed Ray's shift in mood. Ray looked up at him as they made their way down the hallway toward the elevator, wondering if anyone noticed the fact that their shoulders were nearly brushing as they walked. "Trust," he said simply, and he saw Fraser's gaze deepen with sudden understanding. And there was the tongue again, wet, glistening, and then gone. Ray's throat ached with sudden thirst as he fought the urge to press Fraser into a darkened corner somewhere and start licking his teeth. Fraser's gaze darkened slightly, narrowing into a look that Ray recognized. The one that said "tie me up and fuck me now." Amazing, how good they were getting at this nonverbal communication thing. There was really no question in his mind that they'd be playing with the handcuffs again tonight. It felt surprisingly good to feel that assurance, knowing that Fraser wanted it, knowing that his reflexive resistance against the idea was crumbling. Because even though the handcuffs had been Fraser's idea at the start of it all, Ray knew it was something he found difficult to reconcile. Because he wanted it, sure -- needed it, even -- but he was afraid of it, too. Fraser wasn't a guy who gave up control easily. But as weird as it might be, it worked for them. The bondage, the tie-me-up-and-fuck-me stuff. Whatever you wanted to call it. Because deep down inside, Fraser was a guy who wanted someone to trust. Craved it, with an intensity that Ray found thrilling and slightly intimidating all at the same time. To be the recipient of that trust was a depth of responsibility he still couldn't quite wrap his mind around. But that was exactly why it worked so well for them. Because while Fraser needed someone to trust, Ray desperately, fervently, needed someone to trust him. And so it worked for them, quid pro quo. Neither one of them spoke very much during the ride home. Ray wondered if Fraser could somehow see into his mind, if maybe he knew that Ray was picturing him naked in those handcuffs at this very moment. Sometimes it seemed like their partnership worked like that, both in and out of the bedroom. Fraser was real good at listening to the things he didn't say. "You wanna go out somewhere to eat tonight?" he asked, hoping that Fraser would say no. Fraser's gaze flickered to him briefly, then away. "No," he said. "No, I think I'd just like to go home tonight, Ray." Heh. Horny Mountie. Ray hid his grin and concentrated on his driving, trying not to pay attention to the growing ache between his thighs. It had been a frustrating day for both of them, and he for one was looking forward to releasing some tension when they got home. Dief panted harshly where he sat in the back seat, and Ray glanced back at him curiously. Even though it was almost cool after the rain they'd had earlier in the day, it was still humid as hell. Ray wondered suddenly what the wolf thought of all this. Had he noticed any of the shifts in the dynamics of his and Fraser's relationship at home? He had to have. The animal wasn't dumb. Ray pulled easily into their parking spot at home, and the echo of the car engine lingered for a few moments after he pulled the key out of the ignition. He glanced over at Fraser and found Fraser already looking at him, brow raised in silent query. Inwardly, Ray smiled. He knew it made Fraser nervous when he stayed quiet for too long. "Let's go," he said, keeping his voice light. His palms were itching, and he rubbed them against the thighs of his jeans as he climbed out of the car. He met Fraser's eyes briefly over the hood and let his breath out sharply as he turned to go inside. Yeah, those fuck-me eyes were working overtime this evening. Fraser wanted to get laid big time tonight. But still there was that hesitation in him, almost imperceptible unless you knew what to look for. He wanted it, but he'd never ask for it. Maybe it would take some of the magic out of it for him if he ever did. Fraser followed him without comment, and Ray kept his posture casual as they went inside. The air was several degrees cooler inside the building, and he welcomed the brush of it across his flushed skin. He could practically feel Fraser's eyes boring into his back as they climbed the stairs toward their apartment on the second floor. The image of Fraser in those damned leather handcuffs was etched in his memory after what they'd done together last night, and it had been tickling at the back of his mind all day. God, he hadn't seen anything so hot in his entire life. He wasn't even sure what had come over him, what had prompted him to beat himself off and make Fraser watch. But god. He'd felt like Fraser was fucking him with his eyes, and there'd been something indefinable about the way Ray had felt watching him, watching the strength of that body leashed at his command, held there solely by the force of his will. God, if he didn't stop it he was gonna end up molesting Fraser right here in the stairwell. He kept his gaze deliberately lowered as he stepped into the apartment, and as soon as he heard the low click of the door shutting behind them, he turned and took the half-step that separated them, pressing himself up against Fraser's chest and angling in for a kiss. Fraser started briefly before opening to him, but then his lips parted and Ray was free to dive in after that maddening tongue, feeling it flicker whisper-soft against him before gaining momentum and dragging hard across his own. The feel of it made him want to purr. "Mmm," he said appreciatively as he pulled away, peering down into eyes so bright they looked almost unreal. Fraser was breathing heavily, back pressed up against the closed front door, and already, the color rising in his cheeks reminded Ray of the way he'd looked last night, naked and handcuffed in their bed. "You have been teasing me all ... fucking ... day," he said quietly, nipping at the side of Fraser's jaw in light chastisement to emphasize the words. Fraser shivered under him, his hands clutching at the sides of Ray's hips. Ray honestly couldn't tell if he was trying to pull him closer or push him away. "I assure you, Ray, it was entirely uninten--" Damn, didn't the man know when to shut up? Ray swallowed the words, chasing after that tempting tongue again, loving the possessiveness of the gesture, loving how Fraser just sagged there against the door and took it. "I wanna fuck you tonight," he whispered, dragging his tongue in a rough slide up across Fraser's cheek and into his ear. Fraser's whole body jumped at that, and Ray slid a hand down Fraser's side to soothe him, wishing there weren't so many layers of clothes between them. "Yes," Fraser whispered back to him, turning his head to press a kiss against the side of Ray's face. Ray felt the soft scrape of teeth against his cheek as he pulled away. Oh yeah, Fraser wanted it bad tonight. The eyes didn't lie. Feeling strangely smug, Ray took a step back and admired his handiwork. Fraser was looking up at him with a slightly dazed expression, his bangs tousled, panting hard through lips that were wet and red from kisses. A dull flush rose in his cheeks under the steadiness of Ray's gaze, but he didn't look away. Beautiful. "Why don't you go take a shower," Ray suggested quietly, and Fraser nodded, licking his lips. Yeah, they were on the same page, all right. He deliberately didn't watch as Fraser went down the hall toward the bathroom. Jeez, even in full uniform the man looked debauched. How did he do that? Ray fed Dief mechanically, reaching down to ruffle the scruff of fur behind the wolf's neck as he set the bowl down on the kitchen floor. He could hear the water running in the shower now, and he closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to think about the images the sound brought to mind. He felt hot as he shrugged out of his shoulder holster, but he did his best to ignore it as he moved into the bedroom to drop off his gear on the dresser. The sun was just beginning to set outside the window, and he stood staring down at the street for a moment before closing the blinds. It occurred to him that he hadn't heard Fraser get any clothes out of the bedroom before he'd gone in to take his shower. Apparently he realized he wouldn't be needing any tonight. The thought made Ray smile, and without his conscious volition, his eyes slid to the bedside table where the handcuffs lay. Unbuckled, they looked quite unassuming -- just two narrow black strips of leather with the occasional silver accent. The light from the window glinted brightly off the smooth curve of buckle and ring and clasp, making the leather look that much darker in comparison. They looked ... quite kinky, actually. He couldn't wait to see them on Fraser again. The sudden stutter as the shower shut off pulled him back from his thoughts, and he glanced across the hall at the closed bathroom door. His pulse beat with a slow, dark rhythm inside him, warming him, filling his senses as he waited for Fraser to come out. He wanted Fraser bad tonight. And that was more than sex, more than just bodies -- he wanted to see more of that beautiful submission, that trust that he was only now beginning to recognize the significance of. He almost jumped when the bathroom door opened. And then Fraser stepped out, naked body half-concealed by the white towel wrapped around his hips. God, he looked sexy like that. His skin was still pinked from the heat of the shower, and it looked warm to the touch. He hadn't had a chance to comb his hair yet, and the tousled strands glistened damply, soaking up the light. He looked like a porn star. The really, really good kind. Fraser stopped just inside the entrance of the bedroom, looking uncertain as he met Ray's gaze. Ray wondered suddenly what expression Fraser saw on his face right then. He rather suspected he looked like Dief when he got a whiff of his favorite donut. Ray crossed the room slowly, letting the tension he felt communicate itself through his body language. He only had about an inch on Fraser in height, but he was prepared to use it to his full advantage here. Fraser's eyes flickered briefly, but didn't move away. It might have been a trick of the light, but it looked like they were all pupil. Without saying a word, Ray reached down and pulled the towel away. Fraser tensed slightly, his cheeks coloring, but made no move to stop him. He was so modest. If Ray had a body like this, he'd be parading it around morning, noon, and night. "Relax," he whispered, leaning in for a kiss. Fraser was shaking slightly, even though Ray wasn't touching him. Or maybe because Ray wasn't touching him. What was he afraid of? Was it fear he felt? Or anticipation? Ray didn't think even Fraser knew for sure. There was no point in pretending they didn't both know where they were going with this. Ray leaned down to brush a kiss across the smooth curve of Fraser's shoulder, closing his eyes against the fragrant warmth he felt rising from the other man's skin. He couldn't resist letting his tongue flicker out briefly to taste that warmth, and the low hitch that caused in Fraser's breathing made the ache in Ray's groin grow that much sweeter. "Go get the cuffs," Ray told him, keeping his voice low. After an almost imperceptible hesitation, Fraser moved to obey. Ray watched him go, feeling almost lightheaded. He still couldn't get used to this. He wasn't sure he ever wanted to. When Fraser came back, he kept his gaze lowered. Ray strongly suspected that was embarrassment rather than an attempt at showing submission. Fraser was so shy about being naked, about having Ray look at his body. Ray fully intended to cure him of that. Reaching out to touch a finger under Fraser's jaw, Ray tipped his head up to look at him. Fraser's eyes were wide and hungry despite his hesitation, and Ray honestly felt he'd never seen anything more erotic in his entire life. Fraser, shy and anxious but wanting it, wanting Ray to do this for him. For both of them. "You're beautiful," Ray whispered, leaning in to kiss him lightly on the lips. Fraser's eyes fluttered closed at the contact, and his breathing seemed to even out a bit. Yeah, he always seemed more comfortable about these encounters when Ray was touching him. Light flicker of tongue, and Fraser opened for him, expelling his breath in a soft sigh. After a moment, Ray pulled away, pleased to see that Fraser's attention seemed to have moved away from his state of undress. He leaned forward when Ray drew away from him, chasing the kiss with a half-lidded gaze that set Ray's heart to pounding. Fraser paused when he realized Ray was looking at him again. "Ray, I--" His brows drew together in a small frown. "Shh." Ray trailed a hand over his shoulder, finally giving in to the urge to touch. He held out his other hand, and Fraser wordlessly dropped the leather cuffs into his palm. They felt heavy. Feeling a sudden tremor move through him, Ray reached for Fraser's left hand. Fraser acquiesced without a word, dropping his gaze to the floor again while Ray buckled the stiff leather around his wrist. The wool padding felt warm and soft, a sharp contrast to the cool hardness of the metal buckles, and he shivered when his fingers brushed across it. Who knew he had it in him to be so turned on by this? By having all that strength leashed at his command, with or without the cuffs. All that strength, all that beauty, all that grace, all that passion ... and it was all his. A guy could develop a serious addiction over this. Ray's breathing had deepened by the time he moved on to the next handcuff. Fraser was staring hard at the floor now, and the color in his cheeks was making that subtle shift from embarrassment into ... something else. It was really quite pretty, and Ray had to fight the urge to lean in and lick him, to see if this new flush tasted any different than the other one. But one of them needed to stay in control here. Taking a deep breath, he let his own gaze drop for a moment. Jeez, Fraser was already half-hard. The sight made Ray's mouth water. But he was the responsible one here. Should be. Had to be. As tempting as it was to do nothing but rut like bunnies when they were home together, that wasn't really a realistic plan. And Fraser hadn't eaten since early that afternoon, had he? Shaking his head, Ray motioned for Fraser to follow him. "Come with me." He led the way into the kitchen, trusting that Fraser would follow him. Once there, he rummaged around in the refrigerator until he found what he was looking for. "What are you doing, Ray?" Fraser's voice was uncertain again. It was quite endearing, actually. "Making dinner." Ray hid his grin as he put the container of leftover ravioli into the microwave and set the timer for two minutes. Glancing back at the kitchen archway, he saw Fraser standing self-consciously, looking very much out of sorts. Feeling a twinge of pity for him, Ray walked over and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Look," he said. "You decide you don't like this, you tell me so and we'll quit. But if you do, then try not to think tonight, all right? Just relax and trust me. Can you do that?" Fraser held his gaze for a long moment before nodding slowly. Ray rubbed a hand over his arm soothingly, feeling exhilarated. "Good," he said, keeping his voice casual. "Can you get some glasses out of the cupboard, then?" He turned away deliberately to check on the ravioli, and after a moment, Fraser moved toward the cupboard to do as he'd asked. Ray caught a glimpse of pale skin out of the corner of his eye, the flash of a dark cuff as Fraser set the glasses down on the counter. Ray was feeling lightheaded again when the microwave finally beeped, and he took the food out gratefully, glad for the opportunity to do something with his hands. He set it down on the table and looked back at Fraser, who was standing in front of the counter watching him. Ray grinned slightly, feeling suddenly wicked. "Knife, fork, plate," he ordered succinctly, wondering if half the mischief he felt was showing in his eyes. "And water to drink. We'll only be needing one of those glasses." Fraser's eyes glinted darkly, and a small smile twitched at the corner of his mouth as he turned to obey. He finally seemed to be getting into it, having fun with it, now that he'd gotten over his initial self-consciousness. Apparently all he'd needed was some reassurance; Ray'd have to remember that in the future. Ray settled down at the table and watched, admiring the view as a naked Fraser moved around the kitchen, fetching the items he'd asked for. Yeah, he could get used to this real easy. Fraser blushed again as he came back toward the table, but he didn't hesitate as he set the requested items down in front of Ray. "Thank you." Ray smiled at him, feeling a strange flutter of pride. Fraser really was doing very well at this. He thought for a moment, then let his gaze flicker down toward the floor. "Down, please." Fraser hesitated at that, but then he obeyed, sinking down to his knees on the floor beside Ray's chair with easy grace, bending his head forward slightly as if he knew how hot it made Ray to see him like that. Ray sucked in his breath sharply and reached down to adjust the crotch of his jeans, trying to ignore the growing tension there. It really was tempting to just forget about dinner altogether and move on to dessert. But he had a responsibility to Fraser to think about. Fraser was trusting him, and Ray knew from experience already that Fraser's self-protective instincts seemed to fade when his emotions got fully engaged. So food first, then fucking. Even if it did make him half-crazy. With an effort, he turned his attention away and dished out some of the ravioli onto the plate Fraser'd gotten for him. He could feel Fraser's gaze on him as he did so, and judging by the sudden intensity of his expression, Ray'd made the right choice. Fraser was hungry. The thought comforted him. The sharp clicking of claws against linoleum alerted Ray when Dief came into the room, and he looked up to see the wolf regarding them curiously with his head cocked to one side. Ray saw Fraser tense out of the corner of his eye, and he glanced down, not entirely surprised to see that Fraser's face was coloring again. Well, this was something he should have anticipated. It had to be strange for Dief to see his master presenting himself in a submissive posture to someone who had (arguably) been the beta in the house up until recently. And for Fraser, it had to be damned uncomfortable to be seen in such a submissive position, even if it was by a wolf. But still he didn't fight it, didn't call it quits. It occurred to Ray suddenly just how important it was to Fraser that they go through with this. To his relief, Diefenbaker seemed to satisfy his curiosity fairly quickly. He padded over to his water bowl and lapped noisily for a few moments before looking up at them again. A sharp glance from Ray told him that there would not, under any circumstances, be any begging allowed this evening, and after a last wistful glance at the table, he headed back into the living room. "You okay?" Ray asked, knowing how much Fraser's pride had to be suffering under Dief's casual observation. He put a hand on Fraser's shoulder in a decidedly non-sexual gesture, rubbing gently to soothe him. Fraser glanced up at him. "Yes, Ray." And there it was again: that trust, that need, shining so bright it was almost a visible light within him. Ray leaned down to kiss him thoroughly, moving his hand to the back of his neck to hold him where he wanted him, knowing Fraser would appreciate the possessiveness of the gesture. When he pulled away again, Fraser's eyes were shining. Smiling, Ray turned his attention back to their dinner and cut up several bite-size pieces for them to share. The first bite went to Fraser, and Ray had to stifle a groan when he saw those perfect lips close over the tines of the fork, sliding back with a low murmur of thanks. Fraser's eyes flickered up to meet his as his tongue darted out to catch the dab of sauce that clung to his lower lip. God. Ray steeled himself with an effort and took a bite of his own. He barely tasted the food as he swallowed it, and then he was moving back to feed Fraser again, wanting to see more of that tongue in action. Fraser didn't disappoint him, and Ray shifted in his chair, beginning to feel uncomfortably constricted by the tightness of his jeans. He finished off the rest of the ravioli that way, alternating bites between them, and before he knew it, the food was gone. He gave Fraser a drink from the glass of water he'd poured for them, and Ray really couldn't stop himself from leaning down to lick off the few droplets that spilled onto his chin. Fraser rubbed the side of his head up against him in silent thanks, humming slightly. He really was a sensual little animal, wasn't he? Ray grinned at the thought and pulled away, toying with the idea of making Fraser do the dishes. But that really wouldn't be fair, and besides, his tolerance threshold had nearly reached its limit. Running a hand lightly over Fraser's hair, he stood up and carried the dishes to the sink. They'd still be here when they got around to washing them later. Fraser was still looking up at him expectantly from his position on the floor when Ray turned around again. Damn, he looked good down there. Feeling decidedly wicked again, Ray gestured for Fraser to follow him. "Come on." Fraser stood without any visible effort and trailed after him, eyes gleaming. Yeah, he knew he'd gotten Ray hot and bothered during their dinner, and Ray had to rapidly revise his assumption that it had been accidental. He was beginning to realize that Fraser wasn't half as naive as he seemed. That kind of willfulness really shouldn't be rewarded in this kind of a relationship, now should it? Ray looked around the bedroom for a moment before his gaze fell on the dresser against the left-hand wall. Yeah. That would work very nicely. Tugging lightly on Fraser's arm, he urged him over toward the tall bureau drawers. Fraser looked puzzled but made no objection. "Kneel down." Ray stepped behind him and pressed lightly on his shoulders with both hands, urging him down. He pressed a kiss to the back of Fraser's neck in reward as he obeyed, settling to his knees on the carpet facing the dresser. God, this was incredible. The sight of Fraser on his knees in those dark leather cuffs, submitting to him, was almost too much. Ray felt like his heart was about to explode out of his chest, it was beating so hard. "Good," Ray said approvingly, smiling as Fraser glanced up at him. He was looking uncertain again. Without bothering to explain himself, Ray reached down for Fraser's wrists and lifted them up to the brass handle of the dresser's top drawer. He bit down hard on his lower lip as he fit the clasp of one manacle through the handle and then hooked it to the D-ring on the other, securely chaining Fraser's wrists together to the top bureau drawer. Kneeling back on his heels the way he was, it kept Fraser's wrists suspended a good six inches over his head. The look Fraser cast up at him was wide and suddenly vulnerable, and Ray ran a calming hand down his back, crouching down behind him. Fraser flexed like a cat under his palm and breathed out heavily, resting his head forward against his arms. "You're doing great," Ray said, nuzzling forward against his ear. God, he wanted to eat this man alive. He slid a hand forward around Fraser's waist to feel his growing erection, loving the way the hot fullness of it fit into his palm. Fraser huffed hard as Ray's fingers closed around him, stroking lightly, and his hips moved forward in a sensuous glide, unabashedly asking for more. Ray bit lightly into the back of Fraser's neck, holding on for several moments longer than necessary as Fraser shivered convulsively under him. Finally, he made himself pull away, licking lightly at the reddened skin to soothe it. "Ray," Fraser whispered, pressing back against Ray's chest. Ray could feel him trembling. "Soon," Ray promised him, dropping another kiss onto his shoulder. This man really was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. "I'm gonna go get a shower now." Fraser made a strangled sound at that, but he made no protest as Ray backed away. It took every ounce of willpower Ray had to leave him kneeling there, and he blotted his damp palms against the front of his T-shirt as he made his way into the bathroom. Damn, he had to have a sadomasochistic streak in him a mile wide to enjoy teasing them both this way. But honestly, the thought of Fraser chained up in their bedroom, waiting for him, hungry and aching and wanting him, was worth even the pain of his unsatisfied arousal. He didn't believe he'd ever taken as fast a shower as he did that night. Anticipation aside, he didn't want to leave Fraser in that position for too long if he decided he really didn't like it. Fraser could unclasp the cuffs himself easily enough if he decided he wanted to, but still, Ray didn't want to tease him too much. Not at this stage of the game, anyway, he thought with a grin. He dried off quickly and left the dampened towel lying on the floor, heading back into the bedroom with a sharp coil of anticipation tightening in his belly. Fraser hadn't moved. Ray froze for a moment, drinking in the sight of him, admiring the smooth arch of back and thighs, the slight dip of his head where he'd buried his face between his raised arms, the sight of the dark cuffs binding his hands together over his head. Why had these images never crept into his fantasies before? How could he never have known he'd find them so fucking gorgeous? How could a man get to be his age and not know that about himself? Suddenly he felt a surge of almost overwhelming gratitude for Fraser, gratitude that Fraser would offer this to him, give this to him, giving himself so unconditionally even as he took from Ray in return. Once again it occurred to Ray that they were both giving what the other needed, quid pro quo. He saw Fraser's head tilt slightly, and he smiled as he made his way over to the bedside table where they kept the lube. Yeah, Fraser knew he was here. Ray could see the tension in his spine, the flexing of the muscles underneath the pale skin of his back. No more waiting now. Nor more waiting, no more testing, no more teasing. It was time to end it, finally. Ray's bare feet didn't make any sound he could detect as he padded back across the carpet toward the dresser, but he knew Fraser heard him anyway. The tube of lube was cold in his hand, and he tightened his fist around it to warm it as he dropped down onto his knees behind him, pressing himself up against that warm back, wrapping himself forward around Fraser as if he were a second skin. God, that felt good, and he moaned as his erection nudged up against Fraser's ass. "I want to fuck you," he said huskily, breathing out hotly over Fraser's ear, and Fraser pressed back hard against him, panting. Fraser glanced back over his shoulder at him with eyes that looked more than slightly wild. "Yes," he said with unaccustomed vehemence, pushing his hips back against Ray's. The movement caused Ray to grit his teeth against the jolt of excitement that seared through him, and he bit at Fraser's shoulder reflexively, knowing he was leaving marks and feeling curiously excited by the thought of it. His hand slipped forward around Fraser's waist, and Fraser let out a low, whuffling groan as Ray's fingers closed around his erection. "Take it easy," Ray told him, nipping lightly at his ear. Fraser groaned and let his head fall back against Ray's shoulder, spreading his knees to give Ray's hand more room. Ray thrust forward against him, hissing out hard between his teeth as his cock slid into the sweaty space between the cheeks of Fraser's ass. "God," he gasped, tightening his fingers around Fraser's erection, and Fraser's hips jumped in his grip, jolting him with yet another frisson of sensation. There was just no fucking way this was gonna last tonight, but Ray clung hard to control anyway, because he knew it would be worth it. Fumbling with the cap of the lube, he squeezed out a dollop of it one-handed and reached his slickened fingers down between his thighs toward the shivering body in front of him. He'd fully intended to bring Fraser back to the bed for this, but it didn't look like that was going to happen after all. At least Fraser didn't seem to be complaining, if the low moan he made when Ray's fingers sank into his body was anything to go by. His head was heavy on Ray's shoulder, eyes closed, breath panting hard across Ray's cheek as his hips pressed back into Ray's hand, urging him to go deeper. Ray bit at his shoulder again, already able to see the bright red marks beginning to appear there, and did his best to oblige him. "How does that feel?" Ray whispered, pressing a kiss against the side of Fraser's face. Fraser gave a low, stuttering moan and pressed his hips down hard in reply, a smooth, fluid movement that made Ray's head spin. God, he wanted to feel that on his cock, but he held himself back, nipping lightly at the side of Fraser's jaw. He stroked hard with his fingers, rubbing up against Fraser's prostate deliberately, and asked the question again. "How does it feel?" The groan Fraser made at that sounded almost tortured, but his eyes fluttered open slightly as he made an effort to focus on what Ray was asking him. His face was flushed dark with emotions that didn't have anything at all to do with embarrassment. "It feels...." His voice sounded rusty, like it hadn't been used in years. He swallowed hard, turning his head to nuzzle in against Ray's cheek. "Feels ... oh god, Ray...." Good enough. Ray kissed the curve of Fraser's shoulder to let him know he was pleased with him, and then he pulled his fingers out, ignoring the low moan of protest the movement caused. His hands moved to Fraser's hips, and he lifted that unresisting body to sit back on his lap, thighs spread to either side of his own. Fraser seemed to sense his intentions immediately, and he adjusted his position to straddle Ray's thighs, leaning back hard against his chest. "That's it," Ray whispered, smoothing a hand down Fraser's side as he steadied the base of his cock with the other. Already, he could feel the sweaty heat of Fraser's opening against the head of his erection, and he sighed long and hard as he slid inside, pressing forward as Fraser pressed down against him, both of them breathing out in perfect harmony as they joined together. He waited for a moment, trembling hard, pressing kiss after kiss to Fraser's shoulder as he waited for Fraser's body to adjust. After what seemed a small eternity, Fraser relaxed against him, and then Fraser grunted, driving his hips down hard to take Ray all the way inside. Ray gasped, nuzzling Fraser's neck, encouraging him with his hands to move that way again. He shuddered hard as Fraser's thighs flexed, lifting his body up, and then down again even more slowly. God. Ray clung hard to Fraser's waist with both arms as Fraser moved over him, up and then down again, fucking himself on Ray's cock with steadily increasing confidence as Ray groaned behind him, mouthing blindly at the sweaty heat of his skin. Fraser grunted hard when he found his rhythm, and Ray's hands moved to his hips, helping to steady him as he moved. Ray's hands itched to reach for the erection he sensed bobbing just a few inches away, but he held himself back, not wanting Fraser to come yet, not wanting it to be over that quickly. Not when he looked this fucking beautiful.... "Ray...." Fraser voice was thick, barely recognizable through the passion that choked it, and Ray finally took pity on him, closing a fist around his erection. The hoarse shout Fraser made in response sounded half-grateful, half-pained, and he drove his hips down hard, yanking an answering cry from Ray's throat. That was all it took to ignite the orgasm Ray could feel coiling at the base of his spine, and he barely recognized the scream that burst from him as the pleasure of it seared through him. Fraser was still mewling piteously in his ear, and Ray clawed his way back to sanity with an effort, tightening his flagging grip on the other man's erection. Fraser responded immediately, his entire body tensing like a whipcord as he slammed his hips forward eagerly into Ray's fist, almost sobbing as he chased after his own satisfaction. "C'mon," Ray growled, tightening his arm around Fraser's waist, and that seemed to be all it took. Fraser cried his relief aloud when his orgasm finally came, spilling the heat of his release over Ray's hand. It took several moments for them to get their breath back, and Ray slumped there against Fraser's back, listening to the rapid beating of his heart. Finally, Fraser shifted almost imperceptibly, and Ray realized just how uncomfortable he must be. "Here." He reached up and released the clasp between the cuffs, freeing Fraser's arms to drop down again to his sides. Fraser grunted low in thanks and turned slightly in his arms, snuggling in against his chest with a snuffling sigh. Ray held him, easing him carefully off his thighs and back down to the floor. There was something so inexplicably peaceful about Fraser's expression after they had these kinds of encounters. It was like it was more than just sex to him, too -- as if somehow, he'd managed to put some of his personal demons to rest. In the past, Ray had almost believed that Fraser'd given up on trusting anyone other than himself. Maybe it was a relief for both of them that that wasn't the case after all. Ray kissed Fraser's brow lightly, tasting the sweat there, and brushed his hair back away from his face with the fingers of one hand. Fraser smiled slightly as his eyes slitted open to look up at him. "If you thank me for this, I will kick you in the head," Ray told him sternly, feeling a grin twitch at the corner of his lips. There really was such a thing as being too polite sometimes. Despite his admonition, the gratitude in Fraser's eyes shone as clearly as if he'd spoken the words aloud. Very firmly, Ray added, "It's not like it's just you I'm doing it for." Fraser laughed softly at that, looking happy and sated and relaxed in a way that Ray couldn't ever remember seeing before they'd started playing these "games" together. The sheer honesty in his smile made something sweet stir deep inside Ray's chest, and it occurred to him suddenly that he'd be willing to do just about anything for this man. Anything at all. Sometimes he wondered if Fraser had any idea just how much power he had over him. "C'mon," he said, reaching under Fraser's arms to lift him bodily to his feet. It was an effort, but somehow he managed it. They stood there swaying for a moment, clinging to each other to keep from toppling back down to the floor. "Let's go get cleaned up." "Indeed." Fraser glanced down and snorted lightly, running a hand through the sticky mess that coated his abdomen. He looked so utterly debauched that Ray wished he could take a picture, just to prove to himself later that he hadn't imagined it. Ray considered taking the handcuffs off, but decided against it. It really was a good look for Fraser, after all. Maybe later he'd tell him so, just to see him blush again. The thought made him grin. "Love you," he said in response to Fraser's questioning smile, and Fraser leaned in kiss him, slow and sweet. Fraser flinched slightly as he pulled away, and Ray winced in empathy when he saw Fraser's hand lift to rub absently at one of his shoulders. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" The thought was sobering. "I'm fine, Ray. Just a little sore." Fraser's smile reassured him. There was still a slightly dreamy cast to his eyes that told Ray he was feeling no pain at the moment, although it was entirely possible his protesting muscles might begin to bother him later. Well, after they got cleaned up, he'd give Fraser a nice, relaxing massage. Fraser had to be sore after the pounding he'd taken, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Ray figured that was something he'd better keep in mind for future reference: if he was going to ride Fraser that hard, he'd better be prepared to deal with the aches and pains afterward. It was part of those responsibilities he kept lecturing himself about. There was a strange sort of satisfaction in knowing he was capable of taking care of Fraser this way, that he was worthy of the trust Fraser had placed in him. That was part of the gift that Fraser gave him. He only hoped that he was giving Fraser a gift of equal value in return. The thought made him smile, and Ray slid a proprietary hand down Fraser's back as they moved out into the hall together. The smile Fraser gave him in response was full of quiet love, and trust, and exultation. It was enough to convince Ray that for as much as he was getting out of these new changes in their relationship, Fraser was getting what he needed, too. That was the way their partnership worked, after all. Quid pro quo. The End 2/26/02 End Irresistible Impulse by Rushlight: n_sanity75@hotmail.com Author and story notes above.