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      	  B: Closet of Memories 
 by Dee Gilles	

 Disclaimer: For entertainment only.

 

 Benny & Ray 132 Closet of Memories Dee Gilles Rated R

 The entire contents of Benny and my hall closet were spread all over our
living room. Looking at everything placed in a bunch of piles, I can't
believe that it all came out of this one closet. Then again, it had been
accumulating for eight years of living together. I nearly tripped over a
box of old vinyl 45 records. Don't know what the hell I still had those
for. I threw out my record player after it broke five, six years ago. I
guess I was hoping that vinyl would be worth something one day. I stooped
down for a moment to finger the old black discs. Geez, I had an old
`Jackson 5' tune, I'll Be There. I wonder when the hell I got that. I had
an old `Mungo Jerry' tune, `The Kinks' Lola, Elvis's The Wonder of You. Oh
my God. I had to laugh at my taste back then. I pushed the heavy box to
the `keep' pile; maybe next time Benny dragged me to the thrift store, I'd
look for a portable record player and dust off these old records.

 I pulled a pair of leather chaps out of the far back corner. I grinned,
remembering Benny and my trip to South Padre Island. Benny naked except
for the chaps, riding me up and down like crazy, moaning like he was out
of his mind, cock beet-red and dripping all over my belly. I felt my cock
stirring with pleasure just remembering that hot Texas night. I glanced at
my watch. Benny'd be home in the next few minutes. Maybe after dinner, if
we could get Carie to sleep at a decent hour, I could get Benny to strip
down and relive that night. I gave my cock a reassuring little squeeze,
and dropped the chaps into the keep pile.

 In the living room, I could hear Carie having a conversation with
Pearson. She was watching one of her Pooh videos. Carie and I hung out
together most of today. I had the day off, taking her everywhere with me
as I did errands. Carie was at the age where every little thing was an
adventure, a new thing. It probably took me twice as long to get things
done with her around, but they were also twice as fun. She had to stop and
stare at everything, including a parked fire engine, a department store
window display, two poodles being walked on a leash. I found myself
staring too, thinking, you know, these things ARE kinda cool, aren't they?

 I took her to the baby gym this morning. Benny and I had enrolled her in
gymboree this fall so she wouldn't go stir-crazy because it was too cold
to go to the park. I watched her do her little kiddie workout in a class
with about ten other kids, something I always find kind of funny. The kids
looked like a mini-version of the Keystone Cops as they did their little
excercises.

 The gym is kind of near the Canadian Consulate, so for the hell of it, I
brought her by so she could see where her Daddy used to work. Mac was
there, and Chick, and Turnbull, too. Of course, they went gaga over
Benny's baby. Everybody had to hold her. They wanted to know what Benny
was doing, so I had to fill them in. It took me about forty minutes to get
out of there. 

 Then we stopped for groceries, and then we went shopping for a new winter
coat for Carie. She was growing like a weed, and last year's coat sleeves
looked like sleeves on her. 

 It was after noon before we finally got home. I made us some lunch, and
then started going through the closets one by one, separating stuff into
piles to keep, throw away, and donate. I already have a stack of boxes
piled up in the living room. Me and Benny are moving to the house on
Octavia at the end of the month. 

 Benny hadn't been easy to convince, but in the end, he had to give in to
the simple economics of it all. The fact was that we both needed to put
more money aside for our retirement accounts, plus Carie's college
fund...and Benny's college fund for that matter! He's not even done with
his undergrad degree and he's already talking about getting a PhD. 

 We had lay in each other's arms one night not too long ago, and had this
long soulful conversation about the future. Benny had told me that, the
fact was, that the bullet in his back bothered him more and more these
days, and that the scar tissue at various points in his body reminded him
that he couldn't be a cop forever. He occasionally blew a knee out,
chasing down some perp in the streets. He threw his back out last summer.
The hard truth was, that he needed to have an alternative career to fall
back on; Benny had sacrificed the well-being of his body to help so many
people over the years. I knew he wasn't sorry, but thinking about it made
me bitter.

 Hopefully, Benny'd be done with college by the time Carie starts! I
wasn't looking forward to more of his being away from home, but if that's
what it takes to make him happy, then I'll keep my mouth shut. Besides, I
gotta admit I like the sound of Dr. Benton Fraser. 

 I kept digging into the dark corners of the closet. Stowed in the back
were a couple of Benny's old flannel shirts. Oh, yeah. I remembered when
we got these. It was after he got burned out of his apartment on West
Racine, and he was living with me at the house, before he moved into the
apartment on St. John Street. He had bought about ten used shirts from the
thrift store, all pretty much different patterns of plaid. The shirts were
now threadbare and faded. Benny sure as hell got his five dollars worth
out of them. I tossed them in the `throwaway' pile. It was time to say
goodbye to them.

 Benny had saved a Mountie uniform, the brown one. I carefully laid it
flat on top of the keep pile. I wondered where the serge got to. I know he
had a full red uniform someplace.

 I dug out our old Halloween costumes from one year- some 70's clothes,
toy guns and big fake hairpieces. We went to Jack Huey's party as Starsky
and Hutch one year. Which year was that again? Had to be before Carie was
born, I think.

 I heard Carie give a sudden loud laugh from the living room. I smiled.
Her laugh was the best sound in the world. I dug out her first pair of
baby boots. They were sealed in a Ziploc bag. Benny had been meaning to
have them bronzed, but hadn't yet found the time. I dropped them in the
`keep' pile. Maybe I could get them bronzed for him for a Christmas
present. 

 I kept digging through the pile of mementos, smiling, remembering.

 VVVVVV

 I was just finishing with the hall closet when I heard Benny's key in the
door. I had just pushed the `throwaway' and `donate' piles against the
wall and had boxed up all the `keep' stuff and slipped that back into the
closet.

 I walked to the front door to meet my lover. I took from him the
dry-cleaning that was slung over his right shoulder. I pulled him into my
arms and gave him my best lover boy kiss. His mouth remained dry and
stiff.

 "What's wrong?" I said.

 "Nothing." He smiled politely. "How are you?"

 "I'm alright. How was your day?"

 "It was just another day, Ray." It was a shockingly blas thing for Benton
Fraser to say.

 "What happened? Briggs again? Did you talk to Welsh yet?"

 "No, he couldn't find the time for me today. He had two meetings and a
conference call. Plus Chief Silva dropped by unexpectedly."

 "Benny, you better do some--

 "Daddy!" came a voice at our waists. Carie had launched herself at
Benny's knees, and clambered to be picked up. 

 "Hello, Carie. Did you have fun today with Papa?"

 "Yeah," she grinned.

 "Tell me what you and Papa did," he said, walking with her into the
living room. 

 He left me standing there holding a dry cleaning bag of Calvin Klein
suits. Benny had just done a nice job of skirting the issue. I hated it
when he did that. I took the clothes into our bedroom and put them away
before I returned to the living room.

 I came right after him. "But you're going to talk to him tomorrow,
right?"

 "Yeah, yeah."

 I drew back in surprise. "Whadda ya mean, `yeah, yeah'? You don't go
`yeah, yeah'. I go `yeah, yeah.'"

 "I guess you must be rubbing off on me at long last, Ray, because I'm
telling you `yeah, yeah'," he said glibly. Benny sat down with Carie on
his lap. He turned his attention toward her, doing his best to ignore me.

 "I mean it, Benny. If you don't talk to Welsh, then I'm going to talk to
the chief."

 "Don't do that, Ray!" He looked up at, alarmed. "You're only going to
make it worse. He'll just--

 "He'll just what, Benny?" I could already feel my blood begin to boil. I
fucking hated Briggs from the moment I laid eyes on him, instantly and
completely. Just being in the same room with him made the hair on the back
of my neck rise. 

 "Ray, did you get dinner started?"

 I blinked at the sudden transition. "Yeah, I put some chicken on. And I
bought you those fake mashed potatoes you like and I was gonna make some
mac and cheese."

 "I'm starved. How soon until its ready?"

 "Twenty, thirty minutes, I guess."

 "Daddy, will you read me Cat in the Hat Comes Back?"

 "Of course I will, my darling!" Benny scooped Carie up and quickly headed
toward Carie's room. "Call me when dinner's ready?" he called over his
shoulder.

 Damn, he was slipperier than a greased pig at the state fair.

 "Ray!" Benny called, still out of sight. "You're not getting rid of my
good flannel shirts, are you?"

 I rolled my eyes. "Of course not, Benny." I went into the kitchen to
finish making dinner, letting him slide for now. But the fact was, me and
him had to talk before the situation came to a head.

 FINIS

  
  

End B: Closet of Memories by Dee Gilles 

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