*DIFFERENT KINDS OF PAIN*

*By GILDA LILY*

Rating: PG (M/M)

Pairing: Benny/Ray

Category: Poetry

Warning: Major Angst ("CALL OF THE WILD")

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, Alliance does, more's the pity.

Comments can be sent to: jeanniemarie@sprintmail.com

(c) April 3, 1999

It hurts.

The bullet wound, sure.

Worse,

The strain between us.

Benny...

How do I tell you?

How do I tell you

That I missed you so much

That I thought I'd die

Of the yearning?

How do I tell you

That I don't know who

I am anymore?

That I'm afraid

Of who I had to be

For all those months

And of who I am now.

Your eyes tell me all.

They always did.

And when you first saw me

My heart leapt with joy,

And you were so happy.

Why couldn't I just have

Faded away?

You're confused at my

Aloofness,

But I'm in shock.

Shock at seeing your

Beautiful face again,

And not just in my dreams.

I ache to touch you,

Whisper how much

I missed you

In your ear,

Take away the hurt

In your lovely eyes.

Old habits die hard.

I took a bullet for you

Again.

That was easier

Than trying to explain

Why I feel so lost inside

When I have you again.

All I have to do

Is reach out

And you'd be

In my arms.

Oh, Benny,

Go get your man,

And think of me kindly,

Because you got me

A long time ago.

Why can't I say it?