R, Drama, M/M, explicit sexual scenes
The cell phone rang loudly, startling him out of sleep.
"Vecchio."
"Where is Fraser?" Margaret Thatcher demanded, in an extremely annoyed tone.
"How the hell should I know?" Ray responded. "He's your employee, not mine."
"Fraser spends a lot of time helping you with your work. I want to know where the two of you are and why Fraser is with you and not here."
"I'm home. In bed. And I can assure you, Fraser is not here with me." More's the pity, he added silently.
"Where is he? You drive him to work."
"Not when I have the day off." Ray replied and hung up. He stretched and tried to go back to sleep. Then he glanced at the clock. It was nearly eleven in the morning, about time to get up anyway.
He threw back the covers and got dressed. As he tied his tie, he frowned. Benny wasn't at work yet, despite the hour. And Thatcher wouldn't have called him unless she had tried Mr. Mustafi first. Well, it wouldn't hurt to drop by Benny's place on the way back from paying bills and check it out. He probably had gotten sidetracked on his way to the consulate by somebody who needed some help. But he'd check, just to be sure. That rat trap where he lived just wasn't safe, even for someone as well liked as Fraser.
Benny was still asleep. Dead to the world, in fact. Ray smiled at the sight of the sleeping Mountie, snuggled warmly in a cocoon of blanket and sleeping bag. Dief, who had given Ray a laconic greeting, sauntered over and woofed softly, pushing at Fraser with one paw.
"Hungry?" Ray asked the wolf. Taking the pleading look as agreement, Ray added food to Dief's bowl, refreshed the water dish and left Dief to his breakfast.
He bent over Fraser and shook him gently.
"Benny?" He called softly. No response. I gotta get him an alarm clock, he thought, nudging the other man again.
"Benny?" He was getting worried.
"Ray?" Fraser's eyes opened blearily, blinking.
"Benny, you okay?"
"What are you doing here, Ray? It's your day off." Fraser's voice was husky and slurred. He sounded drunk.
"Thatcher called me and asked me where you were." Ray began. Fraser closed his eyes and rolled to his side, away from Ray.
"Go away." Fraser said fiercely.
"Benny?" Now Ray was really concerned.
"Go away. Get out of my life."
What the hell is this? Ray wondered. Benny looked odd. He was barely conscious, if you could call this consciousness. His eyes, in the brief glimpse he'd gotten, looked... black. There wasn't a glimpse of blue in those eyes. He thought for a long moment.
"Sure."
Ray sat in the Riv for a while, thinking. His detective instincts told him exactly what was wrong with Fraser, but he refused to believe it. Benny's lethargy, dilated pupils, and uncharacteristic behaviour would, in anyone else, be indicative of drugs. Yet Benny didn't do drugs. Benny wouldn't take aspirin, for Chrissake.
Benny had been having a bout of insomnia, so it was marginally possible he had gone to some doctor for some form of sleeping pill. His own occasional use of mild barbituates, prescribed by a medical professional, may have given Benny the idea.
"Shit." Ray got out of the car and began walking. Fraser wasn't stupid, but he was naive about some things. He'd be totally unaware of how many doctors in his own neighbourhood were willing to write prescriptions for anything for a price. Fraser saw the best in everybody and would trust the doctor's professionalism.
Ray usually ignored the crack dealers in Fraser's immediate vicinity. The neighbourhood wasn't in his precinct, nor did he want to start a drug war singlehandedly. If the city wanted to clean up the drug traffic here, that was their decision. He wasn't getting hurt by some stupid do gooder crusade. Even Benny wasn't willing to try to hit the drug dealers; his way of helping was one on one.
"Pinball, I wanna talk." Ray waited until the young man wasn't especially busy.
"'Bout what?"
"Just a friendly conversation, Pinball." Ray said quietly.
The young man with the shaved head and several pierced body parts looked at the detective and made a quick decision. The cops didn't hassle him, no matter how openly he dealt, unless they had a damn good reason. He knew Vecchio's temper and he knew that Vecchio wasn't dirty. With Vecchio, it was easier to
give him what he wanted than to mouth off or try to buy him off.
"Yeah, okay."
"I want some information." Ray stated.
"It'll cost you."
"Not as much as it'll cost you if you don't tell me what I want to hear." Ray countered, calmly.
"So spill it. What do you wanna know? We can negotiate price later."
"I'm lookin' for the pill pushers in the area. The doctors who write prescriptions for addicts."
"All of 'em?" Pinball's tongue fiddle with the ring on his lower lip.
"Local only." Ray clarified.
"Shee-it." Pinball drawled. "I might be willing to give you that for free, cop. They're cutting into my bottom line, y'know? If the cops is going after them, I might be willing to cut a deal."
"No." Ray shook his head. "The city doesn't give a shit about it, not right now. This is personal. I'm doing a favour for the Mountie."
"For the Mountie?" Pinball leaned forward. "He helped my kid sister, y'know? You lookin' for anything in particular? Uppers, downers, junk, coke?"
"Downers." Ray slid a twenty across the table. Pinball slid it back. "Someone willing to sell to the Mountie."
"No, cop. As I said, he helped my kid sister. I owe him one, y'know?" Pinball chewed the ring on his lower lip. "Three of 'em are just stupid enough to sell to the Mountie. The rest are pretty savvy 'bout who's on and who's not." Pinball scribbled the names on a bit of paper, his handwriting surprisingly neat.
"Thanks, Pinball."
"I help you, you help me, right?" Pinball looked hopefully at him.
"In your dreams, scumball." Ray grinned. "The day I get word to take you off the street, I will be a happy man."
"Hey, I tried." Pinball shrugged. "Hey, if there is a bust comin' down, you be the one to arrest me, y'know? It'd be more friendly-like."
Ray looked at the list. All three were within a block and a half of Benny's place. Trust Benny to buy local.
The office sign in the dirty window was fly blown and dusty. The office itself was clean, but the furniture was mismatched and patched badly. The doctor was probably heavily in debt.
A woman and her screaming child were in the waiting room. She was looking frantic. Her child was sick and she was too poor to afford any other form of medical care. Ray's heart went out to her. He recognised her as one of Fraser's neighbours, a single mother struggling to keep a roof over her head and her kid fed.
The nurse was a heavyset older woman with bleached blonde hair. She had a kind smile and was trying to soothe the screaming child.
"What can I do for you?" She asked, as she handed the child back to the worried mother.
Ray moved away so that they would not be overheard.
"Police." He showed her his badge and she looked anxious. "I need to know whether a man came in here, complaining of insomnia."
"We get a lot of that." She glanced at the woman, then motioned him over to her desk. "Officer, most of the people who come in here are desperate. They need medical care and we can't afford to keep the office open without bending a few rules."
"I'm not here to shut you down." Ray assured her. "I'm here to find out about a friend."
"I can't give you that information. Patient files are confidential."
"As you said, you can't keep the office open without bending a few rules." Ray saw that the threat was heard loud and clear.
"Who are you looking for?"
"You know the Mountie?"
"Constable Fraser? Who around here doesn't?" She looked surprised. "Wait a minute. You're his friend, that police detective."
"Yeah. So, have you seen the Mountie around here?"
"Well, he did bring Mrs. Alvarez here when she broke her leg." The nurse replied. "Other than that, no. Is he is some kind of trouble?"
"I hope not." Ray replied. "Thanks. Oh, and that woman out there? Tell her that you have a special for kids or something. Send the bill to me." He passed her his card.
The nurse looked at him with the grateful look most people gave Fraser. It gave him a warm glow.
The next office was even more dilapidated. There was no shingle and no attempt to make it look even marginally professional. The doctor was a tired looking shamble of a man. A user, unless Ray missed his guess.
"What can I do for you?" The doctor had his pen poised over his prescription pad.
"A friend of mine is having trouble sleeping." Ray said and the doctor scribbled on the pad and handed it to him.
"That'll be fifty dollars."
"No, it won't." Ray pulled out his badge. The doctor went still for a moment, then sighed, looking bleak.
"It was only a matter of time." He held out his wrists.
"You aren't under arrest, although you should be." Ray said
harshly. "I want to know about one of your patients." Ray put a savage twist on the last word.
"I don't keep immaculate records, but I'll try."
"Do you know the Mountie?"
"I've seen him around."
"Here?"
"Officer." The doctor looked pained. "His kind don't come in here. I doubt he could even find this office."
The third office was no longer there. The dilapidated building was condemned and the doctor's space showed signs of recent sudden vacancy. The floor was littered with needles and other paraphenalia. Ray carefully picked up all the needles and put them in an old coffee tin, then tossed it away in the trash. Despite what Fraser had said, he'd go back and talk to Fraser. He had hoped for some ammunition for the upcoming confrontation with Fraser, but this line of investigation had hit a dead end. He didn't want to search all the dirty doctors in the area. There were just too many of them and the temptation to call in for a raid was getting overwhelming. Thursday, he'd talk to Welsh about it.
Fraser took his time getting up after Ray left. He still felt groggy and nauseous. Dief steadfastly ignored him, lying on the floor with his head on his paws, radiating disapproval.
"What?" Fraser asked him, irritated. Dief continued to keep his distance. "Is it too much to ask that I be allowed some privacy?"
Dief growled softly and looked pointedly at the door.
"Yes, I know. If I don't want people coming in, I should lock the door. That's a very American attitude, Diefenbaker. At home, a closed door is sufficient to ensure privacy."
Fraser went to the sink and got a glass of water. It helped settle his stomach a little. Then he filled the kettle to make tea.
He had finished two cups of tea and was thinking seriously about making toast when he heard a knock on the door.
"Benny? You up?"
Ray popped his head around the door. Fraser froze.
"Can I come in?" Ray seemed unusually wary. Dief got up and nudged the door open wider. Ray took the hint and went in.
"Benny, what's wrong with you?"
"Wrong? In what sense?" Fraser's words came out formal, stilted.
"C'mon, Benny. Don't give me that crap. It's the middle of a work day and you're home. You told me less than two hours ago to get out of your life." Ray crossed his arms. "Well, I'm not leaving unless you tell me what the hell is going on. If you want me out of your life, you're going to have to throw me out on my ass."
Fraser got up and Dief immedately bristled, moving to stand in front of Ray.
"I don't think your wolf is gonna help you do that, Fraser." Ray continued. "Talk."
"I..." Fraser hesitated. How could he tell Ray how much his presence hurt? How could he tell Ray why it hurt?
"Benny." Ray's voice softened and he came forward to touch Fraser's arm. Fraser flinched. "Are you in some kind of trouble?" He touched Fraser's chin, trying to look into his eyes. Fraser pulled away.
"Let me see your eyes, Fraser." Ray ordered. Fraser looked at his feet, shaking his head. "I thought so. Benny, let me help you."
"You can't help." Fraser said shortly. If Ray wouldn't leave, he would. He went to the door, but Dief was in the way, growling.
"How long has this been going on, Fraser?" Ray's voice followed him. "How long?"
"I don't know." Fraser said helplessly.
"Jesus, Fraser." Ray dropped into one of the kitchen chairs. "I thought I knew you. You're the last person I thought would resort to drugs."
Fraser looked up, shocked. He flushed, deeply ashamed. Ray knew all about the whole problem. Ray knew about his jealousy and knew that he had resorted to chemical oblivion, rather than confront the issue and deal with his feelings.
"Benny, let me help you with this. Please." Ray tried again. "Why the drugs, Benny? What don't you want to face?"
"Ray, I..." Fraser began. His words were cut off as Ray's cell phone rang.
"Damn." Ray pulled the phone out. "Vecchio."
"Detective, I still want to know where Fraser is." Thatcher sounded ominously polite.
"Look, Meg, I'm not responsible..." Ray was cut off as Fraser took the phone out of his hands and threw it against the wall. "What the...? Fraser, that phone cost me three hundred bucks."
"Meg." Fraser stated, his voice heavy and his face flushed. "How long has this been going on, Ray? How long?" He unconsciously echoed Ray's words.
"What are you talking about?"
"How long have you and Meg been lovers?"
"Never." Ray denied immediately. "We don't even like each other."
"Oh, please." Fraser shot back. "I know you've been seeing her."
"There's nothing like that going on, Fraser. She's such a cold bitch that my dick would freeze and fall off if I ever tried
to get into her pants." Ray was too angry to soften the crudeness.
"What about the night before last, then? Your car was parked outside her apartment building. And the abortion?"
Ray stopped. He had promised he wouldn't tell Fraser about that. Fraser pressed his advantage.
"It isn't any of my business, Ray." Fraser tried to speak calmly, rationally. "But you kept that whole relationship secret. You know all about me, the dumb, naive Mountie. How many other secrets have you kept from me?"
Ray looked away. Then he looked directly at Fraser.
"A few." He admitted. "I can't tell you about what was going on with Thatcher. I promised her I wouldn't and I try to keep my promises. But I swear to you that there has never, ever been any sort of romantic relationship between us. I didn't sleep with her and I was not the father of the kid."
"Pardon me if I don't believe you." Fraser said stiffly. "She's a beautiful woman."
"Yes, she is. A beautiful woman." Ray emphasised the last word. He hesitated for a moment, then added, "Fraser, I'm gay."
"What? But...but... you were married."
"Yeah, I was." Ray sighed and looked at his hands. "It took a long time before I could admit to myself that it wasn't Teresa's death that drove me and Angie apart. It was me."
Fraser sat down slowly.
"Suzanne?"
"I was attracted to her." Ray admitted slowly. "And I still thought then, that... I like women, Benny. I like dating pretty women and I liked Suzanne. Like being the operative word."
"And Louise?"
"Louise is good protective colouring. And if she does go out with me once in a while, we have a good time. But she isn't going to hop into bed with me." Ray explained. "I've never met anyone who'd make it worth coming out of the closet for. Angie's the only one I've ever talked to about this. Now you."
"Even if you are...gay..." Fraser said, self consciously. "You did father a child with Angie, so you can..."
"Oh, Benny, I wanted kids so badly. And I loved Angie. I really did. Still do. A little imagination and..." Ray shrugged. "Benny... You okay with this?"
"Of course." Fraser replied promptly. He felt the pain in his chest lighten somewhat.
"Okay, I spilled my guts. So what's with you?"
"Well..." Fraser looked at his hands. "You know I've been having trouble sleeping."
"Yes."
"It started when I overheard you talking with Inspector Thatcher."
"Overheard?"
"Well, to be honest, I eavesdropped." Fraser admitted awkwardly. "It was wrong of me to do that. I violated every standard of proper behaviour and I do know better. My grandmother..."
"Benny, get on with it."
"Yes. Well. I heard her tell you she was pregnant and that she was going to abort the child while she was in Ottawa. I thought that..."
"That she and I had something going, since she wouldn't give me the time of day unless there was a good reason for me to know." Ray finished. "Logical, as far as it goes."
"Yes. Since then, I've been unable to sleep well. The thought of you and her..."
"Oh, God, Benny, I'm sorry. I didn't know you still cared for her like that. You seemed to accept her tellin' you to shove off." Ray looked guilty.
"I did." Fraser took one of Ray's hands and held it. "I took one of the Zopiclone the doctor gave me after I was beaten up that time. That was the morning you had such a time getting me to wake up and go to work. Night before last, after I saw your car in Meg's parking lot, I took the rest of them."
"How many?"
"Five."
"That's it?" Ray pulled his hand away. "You took a grand total of six sleeping pills? I thought the problem was a hell of a lot more serious than that."
"It is, Ray." Fraser wanted to capture that hand again, but couldn't quite bring himself to do it. "Five Zopiclone can be dangerous."
"Bullshit. Five won't kill you. All that'll happen is being groggy for a day or so."
"And the problem is more serious than that." Fraser took all of his courage and looked directly at Ray. "It wasn't the thought of Meg sleeping with you that bothered me. It was you sleeping with her."
"What?"
"Ray, the other night when you gave me that backrub..." Fraser said slowly. "I wanted you to touch me all over. I wanted..."
The words were cut off as Ray leaned across the table and kissed him. He opened his mouth and allowed Ray's tongue to explore, tentatively touching his tongue to Ray's. He felt the pain in his chest lighten to nothingness and his heart swell with happiness. He could also feel another portion of his anatomy begin to swell and he stood up to take Ray into his arms. He swayed slightly and Ray broke off the kiss.
"You probably still have some of those drugs still in your system, Benny." Ray's voice was husky. "Maybe you should lie down for a while."
"I do feel a little dizzy, Ray. Perhaps you should stay with me, just in case..."
After another long kiss, they managed to stumble to the bed and collapse onto it. Ray pushed Fraser onto his back and rapidly unbuttoned his shirt. His fingers found the flat nipples and touched the sensitive tip before circling around. Fraser moaned and Ray bent to take one of those nipples into his mouth. His tongue flicked at the tip, while he sucked gently. His hand teased the other, bringing them both to tight points.
"You like that, Benny?" Ray murmured softly.
"Oh, yes." Fraser sighed. Ray started to undo Benny's jeans, but Fraser knocked his hands away and quickly shed them, lifting his legs and giving Ray a wonderful view of his bare butt. Before Ray could reach out and touch, Fraser pushed him on his back and undid his clothes. Ray wiggled out of them and they looked at each other.
"You are beautiful." Ray stated, reaching to stroke Fraser's face. "So very beautiful." He leaned to kiss Fraser, snuggling in close.
Fraser pulled Ray to him, feeling Ray's cock pressing into his belly and his own cock rubbing against Ray's thigh. It felt wonderful. After a long, passionate kiss, he started to kiss along Ray's jaw, burying his face in Ray's neck. Ray purred and arched against him.
When he reached Ray's nipples, they were already hard points on his chest. He touched the tip of one with his tongue and Ray sighed. Encouraged, he took it into his mouth and sucked very gently.
"Oh, I love that." Ray said softly. His nipples tingled and itched with desire. "Not so gently, please." Fraser sucked harder, almost to the point of pain. He repeated the action on the other nipple, then eased off as Ray reached blindly to take his cock in his hand.
He fell back onto the bed as Ray fondled his cock, exactly as he imagined. The long, slender fingers on him was every bit as wonderful as he had imagined. Except that Ray wasn't just using his fingers. Ray gracefully rose and moved so that he could take Fraser's cock in his mouth.
Fraser gave a stranged gasp. He had never felt anything like this before. Wet, hot suction, bringing waves of intense pleasure. He started to thrust into that hot, wet mouth, his hips moving wildly. Ray backed off, with his hands still holding on.
"Not so fast, love." He murmured softly. Rather than continue, he moved to kiss Fraser on the lips again.
"Ray..." Fraser grabbed him and held him tightly, his hips still moving. "I want..."
"I know what you want, love." Ray breathed softly. "You want to come."
"Yes..." Fraser gasped. "What do you want?"
"I want you to come." Ray purred into his ear. "But I want you inside me." He moved again, this time on his side, facing away from Fraser. Fraser also moved on his side, his cock grazing the cheeks of Ray's ass. He hesitated, but Ray snuggled close.
Fraser felt his cock slip between the twin globes and rocked his hips gently. It felt very good. He wanted to do as Ray suggested, but he was afraid of hurting his friend. His cock felt enormous, bigger than it had ever been before. He felt the head of his cock at the opening to Ray's body and gave a small thrust.
Ray had asked him to do this, he thought, dizzy with desire. And he's probably done this before. A stab of jealousy at the unknown someone who had made love to the man in his arms gave him the strength he needed to push a little more. He felt Ray's body give way to the steady pressure until he was fully inside. Itwas indescribable. Hot and tight and so very good.
"Are you okay?" He whispered in Rays ear. Ray nodded, and took his arm and wrapped it around himself. Fraser took another long moment before he began to move. He moved slowly at first, then faster as desire built. One hand, which had been resting on Ray's bony hip, moved to take his cock. It was hard and hot in his hand and he pumped it in time with the thrusts into Ray's ass. He felt the orgasm begin building and, with a wild cry, he stiffened. Buried as deep into Ray as possible, he came in long spurts. His hand continued to touch Ray, until he, too, came, with a harsh cry.
Fraser stayed where he was, his arms wrapped close around his lover. He was drowsy and contented. Ray lay quietly, his eyes shut and his arms holding Fraser's to him. He felt content and satisfied. This was what he had always wanted. Strong arms to hold him, a warm masculine chest to lean against. Later, he could hold Benny the same way, but for now, he was exactly where he always wanted to be.
"Ray?"
"Mmmm?"
"May I ask you a personal question?"
Ray grinned to himself. Benny, polite to the end.
"Benny, you have your arms around me and your cock up my butt. How much more personal is it possible to get?"
"I just wanted to know... How many lovers have you had?"
"Besides Angie?"
"Yes. I mean, how many men...?"
"None."
There was a long pause.
"None?"
"None. I've never done this before."
"Oh." Fraser moved to lie on his back, then gathered Ray into his arms so he could see into Ray's face. "I was the first...?"
"Yep." Ray's eyes sparkled with mischief, then sobered as he saw the expression on Fraser's face. "Benny, I can't think of a better way to lose one's virginity."
"Ray, does it...hurt?"
"A bit." Ray replied honestly. "It felt great, too. Besides, I always wanted the first time to be with someone I loved."
"You... love... me?" Fraser looked flabbergasted. Ray looked worried.
"Um. Yeah." Ray closed his eyes. You did it again, Vecchio. You set yourself up. Why can't you keep your mouth shut when you got a good thing going? He went to get up, but Fraser's arms held him firmly.
"Where do you think you're going?" Fraser asked.
"Look, Benny, I didn't mean..."
"You didn't mean that you love me?" Benny sounded dreadfully hurt. Ray opened his eyes and saw the "Mountie look".
"Well, I did, but I wasn't expecting..."
"Then what were you expecting, Ray?"
"Well..."
"Were you expecting to come in here, seduce me and then fling me aside like an old shoe?" Fraser continued pedantically. "You Americans, all alike. You just take advantage of Canadians, use them up and fling them aside as soon as you're through with them. This is so inconsiderate, Ray. I thought I had given you a better example than..."
His words were cut off as Ray kissed him again.
"I love you, too." He said as soon as Ray let him speak again. Then Ray didn't let him say anything at all for a long time.
Thatcher marched up the stairs with a grim look on her face. She knew Fraser had to be home. And that Vecchio was with him. That green Buick was a dead giveaway. Both of them were going to get the rough side of her tongue. Fraser, for not showing up at work. Vecchio for covering for him and lying to her.
She opened the door and walked purposefully around. They had to be here somewhere. She stopped dead as she got to the bedroom. The two them were there, fast asleep, naked in each other's arms. She sighed, all the anger going out of her, replaved by a sharp stab of envy. At least Vecchio got what he wanted. And Fraser wasn't lonely anymore. She picked up the blanket off the floor and threw it over them. Then she dug in her pocket for a tissue. Wiping off her lipstick, she bent and kissed Ray gently on the cheek, then Fraser on his.
As she went down the stairs, she mentally noted what to put on Fraser's file for today. She owed Vecchio. He had kept her secret; she would keep theirs.
END -- Adrienne ar895@freenet.carleton.ca