by Katrina Bowen
"DAMN!" Elaine snatched her pinched fingers out of the filing cabinet. They weren't hurt badly, but it was the last straw. She slumped against the table and put her throbbing hand to her mouth as the tears finally came.
The radio continued playing some sappy, whiny country song about betrayal and heartbreak and pickup trucks. She'd been so miserable when she came in, she hadn't even been able to muster the energy to change the station -- for some reason, she even welcomed the added irritation. At least here in the records room, no one would disturb her and she could have a chance to cry in peace ...
She jumped as someone knocked and opened the door. Benton Fraser stuck his perfectly groomed head around the corner. "Oh, excuse me, Elaine. I was looking for ..." His voice trailed off as he saw Elaine's tear-stained face. "Elaine?" He entered and quietly closed the door behind him.
Feeling almost guilty, Elaine scrubbed at her face. "Ray, right. He had to take a suspect over to the 5th for questioning. He should be back any time now -- you can wait in the squad room, if you want." She went back over to the filing cabinet and tried to busy herself. At the moment, and for the first time since she had met him, she didn't even want to talk to the Mountie.
Unfortunately, the Mountie didn't seem to realize that. Ben walked a few steps further into the room. "Elaine, what's wrong?" Elaine risked a glance at him -- he was looking at her with concern and friendship. That did it. Elaine started to sob again.
"Oh dear." Ben crossed quickly to her side. He took her by the shoulders and gently turned her around. At a loss for words, he lowered his hands and fumbled around in his pockets. "Would you like a clean handkerchief? I have one here someplace -- at least I usually do," he said with a helpless expression.
Elaine looked up at him -- **Incredible. He looks almost more miserable than I feel.** In spite of herself, she smiled as Ben triumphantly found the handkerchief and flourished it. "Thanks." She turned away as she wiped her eyes.
"Something is obviously bothering you, Elaine. If you'd like to talk about it -- I mean, if it's not something -- if you feel it's something you can confide in me, I'll try to help in any way I can," Ben finished awkwardly.
"No, it's nothing, really." Elaine sniffled and took an experimental deep breath; relieved that it didn't turn into another sob, she went on. "It's just that -- it's one of those days when absolutely nothing goes right, you know? I guess something just set me off."
"Elaine --" Ben paused, and then plunged ahead. "Typically, just having a bad day doesn't leave a person crying. If something is truly bothering you, I'm quite sincere in saying I want to help."
To her own surprise, Elaine found herself ready to talk ... or maybe it was just that this was a damned attractive shoulder to cry on. Hesitating only a little, she said, "There was this man I was seeing, Craig. I thought it was turning into something serious, but it seems he had other plans." She shrugged, and looked down at the handkerchief she was twisting. "Ray always says I don't have a life. I know he's teasing, but I'm starting to worry that he's right. What if all I *ever* have is coming here to work, and then going home alone?"
Ben said quietly, "Elaine, I'm sorry." He might have been expressing sympathy for her heartache, or he might have been making amends for prying, or he might even have been apologizing for the generally unsatisfactory and disappointing state of life on earth. With him it was hard to tell.
The silence remained between them for a minute or two. Then the commercial on the radio ended, and a woman began singing, soft and sweet. Ben looked at the radio, then stood up straight. To Elaine's amazement, he shoved the table to the edge of the room, and pushed the chairs to the opposite wall. He crossed over to Elaine, and formally held out his hand.
Not quite understanding, Elaine took it. Ben pulled her gently to the center of the room; then, turning to face her, he put his other hand on her back and gracefully began waltzing.
Wordlessly, they danced together, Elaine looking up in surprise and rising happiness, Ben looking down with a smile in his blue eyes. When the song ended, they kept dancing for a few moments more. They both started at a slight noise at the door, but when they turned, there was no one there.
Still without a word, Ben raised Elaine's hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to her fingers; then he walked to the door, and with one last smile he left her.
Ben closed the door behind him and looked up and down the hall -- there was no one there who might have disturbed them. He turned as a familiar voice called to him.
"Hey, Benny!" Ray came clattering noisily down the stairs. "You looking for me?"
"Uhh, yes, I was. Elaine told me you were at the 5th Precinct, and that you would be back shortly." Ben took Ray's arm and tried to steer him to the stairs without arousing his suspicion. To his surprise, Ray came willingly.
"Yeah. We had a perp they wanted worse than us. So where *is* Elaine?"
"I'm sure I have no idea."
"Ahhhh."
Ben looked at his friend sharply. "Excuse me?"
He was met by an expression of complete and oblivious innocence. "Nothing. Just 'ahhhh.' So where are we going for lunch? I feel like Chinese, how about you?"
As the two men climbed the stairs, Elaine peeked around the corner of the door. Humming to herself, she closed it again and went back to her filing, carefully folding the handkerchief and putting it in her pocket.
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...You've been on a road that just don't seem to end
Where that
broken old heart of yours wont ever mend
You've crossed over bridges
and bridges they burn
So many rivers and so much to learn
So many
bridges and so much to learn
But the moon is so full, the stars are so bright
And my hand is
steady, my touch is light
Look in my eyes, hold on real tight
And
I'll waltz you, my darling, across Texas tonight.
I'll waltz you,
my darling, across Texas tonight ...
"Waltz Across Texas Tonight" by Emmylou Harris, _Wrecking Ball_