IMAGINE MY SURPRISE
-------------------

Ray Kowalski nervously cleared his throat as he approached the records
room. He'd had his eye on the new records clerk for a while now. She
was attractive, pleasant, and seemed to like him, so he'd decided that
now was the time to finally ask her out.

"Hello, Detective," said Sarah, the object of Ray's interest. "What can
I do for you?"

"Hi, Sarah. Ya know, you can call me 'Ray' if ya want."

The woman smiled. "All right, Ray. Is there a file you need?"

"No, my visit here is completely unofficial today," said the detective
with a smile.

Sarah raised her eyebrows. "Oh, really?" she asked. "What is the purpose
of this unofficial visit? You have a fondness for musty old files?"

Ray took note of the fact that the clerk did not wear a wedding 
band. "Sarah, you got a boyfriend?" he asked.

"No, I don't," was her reply.

"So, you're single?" Ray continued.

"That does not necessarily follow, but yes, I am single. Why?"

"Well, I thought that maybe you'd like to have dinner with me? As in,
a date?"

Sarah chuckled and shook her head. "Oh, Ray, I am sorry if I've misled
you."

"What?" asked Kowalski. "You telling me you're not interested? Why not?"

"Ray, I'm a lesbian."

A lesbian. Oh shit. Sarah was a lesbian.

"Uh, you're sure 'bout that?" Ray inquired, feeling rather stupid. 

The clerk frowned. "Are you sure you're heterosexual?" she responded.

Ray looked at his shoes. "Well, no, actually, I'm not," he said 
quietly. "Not sure, that is."

Sarah put a hand on Ray's cheek. "Ray, I am flattered by your interest,
but I suggest you find someone who likes men - romantically, that is."

"Yeah, well, I think I've asked out all the single women in the
entire department."

"What about the men?"

"Men?" choked Ray. "Whaddaya talking about?"

"Well, you did say you're not sure you're heterosexual. Maybe
you should try playing for the other team, as the saying goes."

"I don't know," mused the detective. "I haven't been with a man
since before I was married, and that was a long time ago. I wouldn't
even know where to start."

"How about with your Mountie partner?" Sarah suggested.

Ray choked again. "Fraser? What about him?"

"Ray, the Mountie set off my gaydar the first day I met him.
He's obviously very...fond of you. I think you'd be surprised."

"Gaydar? What the heck is that?" asked Kowalski.

"Gaydar. Gay radar. The little clues that help gay people recognize each
other."

"And Fraser gives off these - clues?"

"They're as noticeable as that red tunic he always wears."

Kowalski was still having trouble wrapping his mind around what
he'd just been told. "You're saying Fraser is gay?"

"Gay or bi, either one. And he likes you, Ray. A lot."

Ray shook his head. "Thanks, Sarah. I think. Uh, I'm sorry if I
bothered you. I really didn't know you were gay."

"Well, then, detective, maybe you should work on your gaydar.
Starting with your partner."

---------------------------------------------

Benton Fraser approached his partner's desk. He noticed that Ray
looked troubled about something. "Ray?" he inquired. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, hi, Fraser. Uh, you could say that. I just had one of the
most humiliating moments of my life this afternoon."

"What happened?" the Canadian asked, concerned about his friend.

"You know that new clerk down in Records? Sarah?"

"Yes, what about her?"

"I asked her to go out with me," said Ray.

"Oh, dear. Ray, I don't think she would be interested in you.
She's - "

"Gay. Yeah, I found that out too late."

"I hope that she was at least polite when she turned you down."

"Oh, yeah, she was real nice about it," sighed the detective. "She suggested
I try to find someone who likes men, you know, that way." 

"And?" 

"Well, I dunno, Fraser, it's not like I have a lot of single women ready
to throw themselves at me."

"What about men?" the Mountie suggested.

"Like who?"

"Like me," stated Benton.

Kowalski smiled. "You saying you want to go out with me, Fraser?" 

"Well, we already go out quite a bit, Ray."

Ray stood and faced his partner. "Or are you saying you want to 
throw yourself at me?"

Fraser licked his suddenly dry lips and ran a finger across one 
eyebrow. "Yes," he said softly. "I am saying that. But I would
prefer to, er, throw myself at you somewhere where we have a bit
more privacy.

A suggestive grin spread across Kowalski's face. "Your place or
mine?" he asked.

"Yours, Ray. Definitely yours."

END