Due South and all of its characters belong to Alliance Communications.

 

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FIRE AND ICE

by Callie



Pausing I look up from my journal trying to decide what to write next. I move my feet and Diefenbaker woofs in protest as I wake him, no doubt from his dreams of pizza and doughnuts. Reaching down, I ruffle his head in apology; appeased he lays his head back down on his paws closing his eyes once again.

Gazing absently around my small cramped office, I am thankful that Ray persuaded me to move into his apartment, and wonder how I lived for so long in this barren space filled with impersonal boxes, files and paperwork. Ray's apartment may be small, untidy and cluttered, but we have filled it with love and happiness - our love for each other seeming to bounce of the walls as our laughter echoes around the rooms.

I can't help smiling foolishly at the thought of Ray, and I look back down to the leather bound journal that he bought me for my birthday, touching it lightly with my fingers. He said that even I couldn't keep everything in my head; that I needed a journal like my father's to write down my innermost thoughts.

I look down at my words, and know that he would be embarrassed that I am writing about him. Our love for each other is so new and wonderful that I want to write it all down so that when Ray and I are old and grey, we can read the journal and remember the newness and joy of our love.

I read the words that I have written so far:

Ray is fire to my ice. Noise to my quiet. Restless energy to my calm. And I love him with a passion that I thought I had forgotten.

I thought I had been in love before, but it was an illusion, as clever as any magic trick. I allowed myself to be possessed by Victoria; the fire within her ravished my soul, my very being, as it raged like a forest fire destroying everything in its wake, turning my emotions and love into blackened ashes.

After Victoria, I hardened myself against love. Freezing my heart and soul, I enclosed them within a block of ice as large and barren as the snow and glacial covered land where I was born. Schooling my features into an impenetrable mask, I hid behind my shield of ice, safe from love, content to be alone, with Diefenbaker as my only companion.

But then, Ray burst into my life unexpectedly. I knew I was lost the moment he smiled at me; his radiance shone out, warming me. My arms and body tingled from his touch as he hugged me, and I felt the ice within me start to thaw as love ignited within my soul.

The flames of his energy lick at the ice surrounding my heart gradually melting it as we make gentle love to each other, caressing and touching as we drown in the sensual feelings that we engender in one another. As we lay cuddled together in our bed, Ray whispers words of love to me - words he knows it is hard for me to say.

Even after six love filled months together, I find it hard to say the words, and I am envious of the ease with which Ray tells me that he loves me. But I think he knows that I carry my love for him within my heart; that wherever I go, he is with me.

His is not the destructive forest fire, but the dancing fire burning bright in the open hearth that warms, nurtures and welcomes. Flames of passion shimmer in his pale eyes as he teases me, his lips burning mine as he wraps his arms around me - claiming me, warming me, and awakening the feelings I thought long dead.

I smile to myself satisfied with what I have written; as I go to pick up my pen to continue, a noise from the door distracts me.

I look up knowing who will be standing there. Ray is leaning lazily on the door frame, arms folded across his chest a small smile playing on his lips. The light from the hallway is dim, bathing him a soft golden hue. He is beautiful, and I feel another chip of ice fall away from my heart under his warm and affectionate gaze.

"Hiya Ben," Ray smiles as he pushes himself off the door frame.

"Good evening Ray," I can't help grinning widely as I stand. I close my journal, not wanting Ray to read the words I have written just yet. Diefenbaker, of course, is awake and demanding attention from Ray. Kneeling, Ray is ruffling Diefenbaker's soft fur affectionately.

"Love ya too," he chuckles as Diefenbaker licks his face.

I suck in a sharp breath as Ray turns his attention to me; the flames of his soul burn bright, blazing in his pale eyes as he smiles up at me. I smile back knowing that I would do anything for this gentle, loving man - he surrounds me with his love, giving everything of himself and asking nothing in return.

If he asked, I know I would walk naked through the squad room of the 27th precinct in return for his smile - the smile he reserves for me alone, the smile that lights up his face with love.

With a last stroke to Diefenbaker's fur, Ray straightens up from his kneeling position. He is still smiling at me. "Missed ya," his hot breath caresses my skin as he steps into my personal space. "Love ya," he whispers drawing me into a loose embrace.

"And I love you," I whisper back with no trace of my usual hesitancy, my arms pulling him closer to my body. He beams at me, his face lighting up into the beautiful smile that makes my knees go weak - my smile, the one that makes his pale face glow and his blue eyes sparkle with love and passion.

I am lost, consumed by his fire, as he captures my lips in a tender kiss.

 

THE END

 

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