Golden Boy
by L.A.K.

The day had started out nicely for the two men. It wasn't too warm and the sun was shining. It was Sunday, with the two of them having the day off, so they decided on spending it together. They were driving around, doing errands for Ray's mother, with Benny in the passenger seat. Once done, they would go back to Ray's house and watch a game on television. Ray would protect Benny from Frannie, while having Fraser repeatedly refuse offers of food from his mother. It was about two in the afternoon, when the Italian felt his stomach growl.

"Hey Benny, wanna get some lunch?"

"Well, Ray, it's a little late for lunch, but yes, that would be nice."

"Where ya' wanna' go?"

"Anywhere's fine, Ray."

They finally decided on a quaint pizza shop called "PizzaPapalis", which, it turned out, served the most delicious Chicago-Style pizza ever. Ray waited until Ben was turned away before holding up the doggy bag for Dief to see from outside. A happy wolf barked in response.

"Really, Ray. You shouldn't."

Ray turned to the counter to pay the bill.

"Ah, don't worry about it! He's eating the same stuff as you and I. How can it be that unhealthy?"

"Because, Ray. He's a wolf, not a person."

They made their way out to the car, still continuing their debate. Ray slid in the drivers seat and glanced in the back, which now was occupied by a joyous lupine.

"Hey, furslug, do you know what I go through for you? Well, either way, you'd better appreciate it!"

Benny got in the passenger seat still objecting to his wolf's diet.

"Look, Ray, all I saying is...what's wrong?"

By now, Ray had started going through all of his pockets in a frenzy.

"Oh, that's great! That's just great! That woman cheated me!"

"The cashier?"

"Yes! No, wait...oh, she gave me *these,* instead of real dollar bills!"

Ray displayed two gold coins in his hand.

"Ah, yes, the new one gold dollar coins. I think they're a great idea."

"Yeah, you would."

"What do you mean, Ray?"

Ray sighed, rolling his eyes.

"We tried this before, Benny! It didn't work then and it won't work this time."

"Oh, you must be referring to the Susan B. Anothy. Well, the flaw was in the design, Ray. It looked far too much like what you would call a *quarter* and the color was the same as all the rest of your coins, as with your paper money, which I must say is rather dull and-"

"*Benny!* Stop it! I am not going to have a conversation about why American money doesn't look like your weird Canadian-Monopoly money! It won't work because people aren't used to things changing on them. It's too strange! And yeah, there's still the possibility of someone tryin' to rip you off saying 'I gave you a goldie' and have them actually give you quarters."

"I don't think that'll happen Ray. The design is different."

"Yeah, so it's got Sasquatch on it, big deal!"

Fraser went completely silent. His eyes slowly grew to the size of saucers. The corners of his mouth threaten to betray him. He tried his best to not let out the overwhelming snickering that was rising by the second.

"Um...what...what did you say, Ray?"

The last word was strained and he had to keep his head turned in fear that Ray would see his barely controlled fit of laughter.

"I said, you know, that Indian woman, the one who led Lewis and Clark."

"That's...not, um...that's not what you said."

"Yes, it is, Fraser! Don't tell me what I said. Besides, what difference does it make if people can't accept it? New ways of thinking, new ways of doing stuff...some can't handle that. I don't think it's gonna' work."

By now, Fraser had wiped tears of restrained hysteria away from his eyes and was suppressing his smile. He knew he had to try to calm his lover down before they got into a heated tirade over a silly coin.

"I don't know, Ray. I think if some of the most unlikely candidates can alter their ways for the important things in life, then a small, inoffensive coin shouldn't be a problem."

"Fine. Whatever, Benny."

It worked. The detective's anger was silenced. Finally, the Mountie couldn't hold in his amusement any longer. He couldn't believe Ray had gotten those two historical figures confused and there was no way in the *world* he was going to let his lover get away with it!

"And Ray?"

"Yes, Benny?"

"It's Sacajawea - not Bigfoot."

He managed, just barely, to get out his statement before lapsing into a fit of tempered giggles.

"That's what I said!"

"No, it wasn't, Ray."

"Yes, it was, Fraser! I would *not* get the chick with the papoose confused with a big hairy ape thingy! Stop laughing at me!"

"Actually, Ray..."

Diefenbaker sighed and settled down in the backseat. It was going to be a long night indeed, probably ending with those two mating again. He didn't care, though. As long as the Historically Incorrect One didn't forget to feed him, that is.