While We Were Camping

There's an uncomfortable little silence and suddenly, I know I've done it again. Fraser stares into the fire, and I stare into the fire and we don't say shit. I don't know why I get this urge to tell Fraser what a loser I am with women. Hell, he's got eyes, hasn't he? Doesn't need me to tell him what's right in front of them.

Fraser starts again with this ghost story he's been telling me off and on for the last few nights. "Then Loouuouu Scagnetti..."

And I know he's trying to make me feel better the only way he can. He ain't good with words at times like this. So next time he gets to the Loouuouu Scagnetti bit, I join in quietly, and weird as it sounds, it does make me feel better. Crazy. I guess it's just knowing that he's there for me. Being my friend.

I dunno why I'm so down over Luanne. I've only known her a few days and, sure she's pretty and nice and all that, but I don't believe in love at first sight. Even with Stella, it wasn't like that. Hell, even with Frase... but I stop the thought right there. No use going down that road.

But Fraser's finished the story and it sinks into my head what he's been saying. That is one seriously sicko Mountie. He offers me spaghetti cooked on some kind of wire thing over the campfire. Sicko. While Fraser's eating the stuff, without even any spaghetti sauce, I decide maybe I should go down that road.

Like I said, it wasn't love at first sight, not even second or third sight. I mean, sure he's drop dead good looking and even a guy can't help noticing that straight off, but love? Nah. Not until I'd know him… oh, at least a coupla weeks…

I didn't want to fall for another guy. Not that I'm prejudiced or anything. Not that I've never thought about trying something like that either, it's just… well my life was complicated enough around then, without I had to make it worse by falling for a guy. It wasn't like we could just call it quits either, if he hadn't liked the idea. He was Vecchio's best friend and if we'd suddenly fallen out, well I wouldn't exactly have been doing my job right, would I?

So I kept my yap shut and after a while, when Stella started dating that bozo Orsini, I kinda forgot about it for a while. Most of the time I managed to forget about it. Just, sometimes, I'd remember. Like now. And I'd wish… I dunno, maybe for a miracle. 'Cause that's what it would take for something that good to happen to me. And even if it did I'd probably blow it. Like I had with Luanne… and, Hell, I'm already forgetting things about her. Like exactly how she looks. How her voice sounds.

Funny how I can close my eyes and still see every little detail of Fraser's face, right down to the tiny scars on his jaw. Not funny. Not funny at all, come to think of it. Damn it all.

"Hey, Frase, I'm tired. How about we hit the old sack, huh?" I reach for the blanket I brought with me, thanking my stars that it's not too cold yet at night.

Fraser tosses away the spaghetti and I'm guessing even he didn't like it that much. "Good night, Ray." He pulls his blanket over himself and lies with his hands folded neatly on his chest. Does he always sleep like that?

I pull my blanket up over my head and try to sleep.

Something wakes me. Not all at once. I kinda drift to the surface and when my eyes open all I can see is Fraser, still lying with his hands folded on his chest. This guy even sleeps neat. What chance did I ever have with him?

I guess it was a noise that woke me. There's some scuffling sounds in the bushes that might be small animals, but more likely it's crack dealers or muggers. For once I don't care. They can do what they like as long as it don't involve me. I yawn and roll over, then roll over again, but I can't go back to sleep. I'm not real cold, just enough to keep me on the surface, now I'm awake. It doesn't help that Fraser's only a foot away from me, laid out like one of Welsh's deli platters and just about as edible. I groan out a curse, real quiet like, but Fraser's head turns. His eyes are open.

"You cold too, Frase?"

He smiles. "No. I was just thinking." Then his forehead creases a little. "You're cold, Ray?"

He sounds surprized. I guess to him it's like a balmy evening in Florida, but there's this icy little breeze sneaking in under my blanket and suddenly it's not nearly big enough to tuck around me so's I can keep warm.

"Brilliant deduction, Shylock."

"Sherlock, Ray."

"Huh?" Well I'm not at my best in the middle of the night in a park with my toes, not to mention other vital parts starting to feel like they're slowly being frozen.

"I'm assuming you were referring to Sherlock Holmes, Ray. A fictional detective. Whereas Shylock was… well it doesn't matter." He finishes hurriedly as I stare at him.

I'm not interested in arguing, or finding out who that Shylock guy was. "Yeah. Whatever."

"So you are cold?" He leans up on his elbow to look at me.

I shrug. "Nah. 'm okay. Forget it." I pull the blanket over my head again. A couple minutes later I stick my head out and he's still there, staring at me with this troubled little frown on his face. "Alright already. I'm cold. Ya happy?"

"Well, hardly, Ray." He pouts. God I hate it when he does that. Makes me want to bite on that lower lip like it was some kind of sweet, juicy fruit or something. "We should share body heat in that case. The temperature is likely to drop several degrees more during the night."

Share body heat. Oh great. What I'd like is to share body heat in all kinds of ways that probably aren't covered in the Mountie manual. "Uh… is that anything like buddy breathing?" I still wake up from dreams about that in a sweat, sometimes.

He looks at me strangely and his tongue slides uneasily across his lip. "Well, I suppose, in a sense… I suppose you could say that, Ray."

Just them the breeze picks up a bit and sends a shiver down my back. At least I think it was the wind. Anyhow, it settles the question whether I like it or not. Fraser scoots over to me and throws his blanket over the top of mine then sorta shimmies in underneath them with me.

We're close. Real close. I can feel his breath warm on my cheek and it scares the Hell out of me. Feels too damn good. But there ain't enough blanket for us to lie this way, so after a while I turn over and we lie kinda spooned together, only not quite touching. I'm still shivering and now I'm sure it's not the cold.

There's another gust of warm air, down the back of my neck this time, and then Fraser says goodnight quietly, and I say goodnight and that's it. Eventually, I start to drift off.

Next time it's definitely not a noise that wakes me. Or the cold. I've got this nice big warm body lying real close against my back and there isn't a sound. While we were sleeping Fraser, or maybe me, has moved closer and now we're definitely touching. Fraser's arm is draped over my chest, kinda heavy and limp, and something's pressing against my ass. It takes a while to figure out what it is, which sounds silly, but I've never been on the receiving end of a boner before and it feels weird.

I press back a bit. God, it feels big. My own dick's reacting pretty enthusiastically and I lay my hand over it, trying to guess whether Fraser's built like a horse or I'm just imagining things. I lie there and think about taking Fraser's hand and putting it where my hand is but in the end I decide I better not do that. He might wake. I oughta think of a nobler reason, like it would be wrong, or something, but mostly I'm just scared he'll wake.

But I just can't resist moving a bit. Just a bit… rubbing against Fraser's hardon. If he wakes I can always pretend I'm doin' it in my sleep. He doesn't wake, but his breathing starts to speed up a bit and his arm tightens just a fraction and he kisses the back of my neck. And I realize, dammit, that he's already awake. Just as well I didn't move his hand, I guess, though that's not the first thing I think.

I pull away fast and turn over to face him. "Goddammit, Fraser, why didn't you tell me you were awake?"

"Well, I was hoping to spare you embarrassment, Ray." He smiles weakly and rubs his left eyebrow, so I know he's kinda upset, but so am I. I also suspect he's lying, and that's a scary thought. I always thought Mounties couldn't lie.

"If you were awake why didn't you just…" I stare at him. There's only one reason I can think of why he wouldn't have just moved away from me. The same reason I didn't move away from him. Except it can't be true. Nothing that good ever happens to me.

Fraser just looks at me and waits. My heart's beating like crazy as I reach out and touch his cheek. It's so smooth, like a woman's, even though it's the middle of the night and I know he didn't shave tonight. He licks his lips, and that's the last straw. I kiss him.

It's not much of a kiss, but it's enough to tell me that we both want this. So I kiss him again. He's good at it, which surprizes me a bit, but I don't mind at all. His lips part when I touch them with my tongue and I start to explore his mouth. God he tastes good.

Every once in a while my tongue catches on one of those crooked eye teeth. It's kind of exciting. Everything else about him is so damn perfect that this one little fault only makes it even better. He's being kinda passive, but I'm not in any doubt about what he wants. I slide my fingers into his hair and it feels great. Soft and thick and silky as it looks. His hand comes up to cup the back of my head and I french him deep.

"Ray…" It's just a whisper, so soft and sexy that I shiver helplessly.

We're so close together now that our legs are tangled and I'm moving against him slowly. Didn't even know I was doing it at first, but now I can't think about anything else. I roll him onto his back and start humping him deliberately. He stares up at me, his face white as a ghost in the moonlight, eyes wide. I want him so bad I start pulling at his clothes, wanting to feel his skin. Wanting to feel his hands on my skin.

I manage to get his shirt free, and then his undershirt and slide my hands up over his chest. Oh God…

"…Ray… Ray!"

"What?" I keep right on with what I'm doing.

Fraser grabs my wrist and won't let go. "Ray we can't…" he breaks off with a gasp as I tweak a nipple. "Not here."

"Why not here, Fraser? Who's gonna see us at this time of night?" I grin at him and rub against his groin. "It's another fine American tradition. Relax."

"Do the words 'Public Indecency' mean anything to you, Ray?" He's breathless. I think it's working.

"So who's gonna arrest us?" He doesn't answer and after a moment I get it. I don't believe it… not even Fraser… "You're kidding me!"

"I'd feel obliged to, Ray." He means it. Sonuvabitch!

Even so, I'm tempted. "Before or after?"

"Well…" his voice is husky and he has to clear his throat. "I suppose… it would have to be as soon as something, ahhh… something indecent was done, Ray."

"Which would be sometime around now, I guess."

"Unless I'm very much mistaken, yes."

I groan and drop my head against his chest. His heart's beating almost as fast as mine.

"Ray." His fingers stroke the back of my neck and I shiver again. "We could always go somewhere more private."

I'm getting lightheaded. "Your place or mine? That what you mean?"

"Essentially." He's laughing at me. "Although the choice is rather moot, I'm afraid. Inspector Thatcher is not very accustomed to knocking before entering my office."

"I guess that means my place." I lift my head and look at him. Men aren't supposed to be that beautiful. I shove myself away from him. "Well, what are we waiting for?"

We pack up in silence, and thank God, it doesn't take long. We drive back to my apartment in silence. Go up in the elevator. Silence. Open my door and lock it behind us. Then I'm all over him like white on rye.

By the time I fall back onto my bed with Fraser on top of me we're both naked. Don't ask me how, 'cause I don't remember. He feels so damn good, smooth like me, but he's all big solid muscle and big solid dick. His tongue's halfway down my throat in an instant. We wrestle for a while, working off all that energy that built up between us during the drive.

It's easy for Fraser to hold me down. I'm strong, but so is he, and he's twice my size. He kisses my throat, bites it a bit, then my shoulder, my pecs, my nipples. I'm moaning and beyond caring anyway. He can do anything he likes just so long as he never stops. He slides down my body, taking his time. Touching me, kissing me, like he's trying to memorize every inch of it.

He reaches my dick and I wonder what he's going to do. He touches it, lightly, and I clench my teeth. One touch and I want to come all over him. He stares at it for a while then licks across the tip. I shudder and groan. He takes it into his mouth and I'm too scared to move. Then he starts to suck and I realize that he's done this before. He knows what he's doing. I don't care. I grab his face and fuck his mouth like there's no tomorrow.

I'm yelling now, and groaning and cursing. All Fraser does is to put one hand on my hip and the other round the base of my cock so I can't choke him and keep on sucking. Industrial strength. Well, he said he has excess lung capacity and it's true. I ride him like he's a roller coaster, up and down until there's only up, and up and up to the top. Then there's nowhere to go but down, but by then you don't care. At the last moment he pulls his mouth away and I come all over both of us.

When I open my eyes, he's lying beside me all flushed and sweaty and looking pretty pleased with himself. I kiss him and taste myself in his mouth even though he pulled away. I grin. "I had a test just a couple weeks ago. Just in case you're worried."

"I'm not." He smiles. "It's some time since I was last tested. Perhaps another would be in order."

"Sure." Right now I'd agree to anything. I pull him over on top of me, and God he's heavy. His dick twitches, still hard against my belly. I'm not really sure what he wants me to do. I don't think I could suck his dick. I sure as Hell couldn't give him a blow job like he gave me.

He starts to thrust against me and I grab his butt and encourage him along a bit. It feels good as his dick slides through the sweat and come on my skin, making everything slick and easy. He's quiet. All I can hear is the sound of his breathing and the occasional moan. He burrows his head against my shoulder and I slide my hands up his body until I'm holding him. I wrap my legs around his hips and arch my body against his thrusts. He makes a strangled sound and collapses against me, almost winding me, and I realize that it's over. I've never heard anyone come so quietly.

The heat's just pouring out of him, so I pull the covers over his back. It's not that warm in here and he might get a chill. He mutters something and nuzzles my throat. It's nice to cuddle like this, but he's too heavy, so I slide out from under him, partway, at least and he rests his head on my shoulder. His leg's over my thigh, his arm's around my waist, and everything's right with the world.