How many times? How many times had Fraser been shot, stabbed, blown up,
beaten? Ray Vecchio thanked whatever saints or angels kept watch over
insane Canadian Mounties that his friend hadn't been badly hurt.

This time.

A stupid liquor store robbery, and Fraser had to be a hero. A gun, a
shot, Fraser fell, Ray wasted the shooter with one shot from his own
weapon. Why did Benny always put himself in that kind of situation?

He knew why. Because the gun had been aimed at him, Ray. Not at Fraser.
Benny had stepped in front of him at the last minute.

Stupid Mountie. Stupid, wonderful, annoying, amazing Mountie. What had
Ray ever done to deserve a friend like Benny? To merit Benny risking
his life for him? 

A pretty nurse interrupted his reverie. "Detective Vecchio? You can see
Constable Fraser now." He thanked her and headed for Benny's room.

"How are you feeling, Benny?" he asked when he saw the Mountie.

"I'm fine, Ray."

"No you're not fine, Benny! You were shot!"

Benny shrugged slightly. "It's not serious."

Ray sighed. "No, but it could have been. What made you step in front
of that guy, Benny? Was it because he was going to shoot me?"

"Yes," came his friend's soft reply.

"Why, Benny? Why would you risk your life for me?"

"Because you're my best friend, Ray. And because I love you."

Fraser saw Ray's face turn pale. "No, Benny... you can't love me." 

"Why not?" asked Ben.

"You don't know what I am, what I've done. You can't love me, not after
what I've let myself become."

"I don't understand, Ray. I'm certainly far from perfect.  I made you
blow up your car, I nearly caused you to lose your home, I've endangered
your life ... yet you still care for me, perhaps even love me. What could
you have possibly done that would make me stop loving you?" 

Love. Benny loved him. And yes, he loved Benny. But he didn't deserve
this love. Ray choked out two words: "Frank Zuko."

"What about him, Ray?"

"I slept with him."

"And?" inquired Benny.

"Isn't that enough?"

"Not enough to make me stop loving you," answered Fraser. "Do you want
to tell me about it?" 

"Want to tell you?" Ray laughed humourlessly. "No."

"Will you tell me anyway?" asked Benny.

Ray sighed and paced around the small hospital room. "When we were kids,
everyone knew that Frankie swung both ways. No one ever talked about
it, but we knew. I guess after we all went our separate ways I kinda
forgot about it. And then a few years ago when my marriage broke up,
I was, well, I was lonely. And I ran into Frankie." He paused and took
a deep breath. "You have to understand, Benny. I'm not gay. Really, I
like women. But ... well, I guess I'm bisexual." 

"I do understand, Ray. I don't judge you for it. Bisexuality is probably
more common than most people think."

"Anyway, like I said, I was lonely. And at the time I didn't really care
who I used to  ... to ease the loneliness. I ran into him at a bar. I
picked him up, basically." 

"And?"

"And we went to a motel - I lived with my family, he had servants and
various other people at his house, so it had to be a motel - and we ...
had sex." 

"And after that?"

"After that we went our separate ways and didn't see each other again
till the thing with the shoemaker and the church poor box," Ray finished.

"So it was only one time," commented Fraser.

"Yeah."

"And you didn't allow it to influence the way you handled his case, either
with the shoemaker or with the car bombing."

Ray shrugged. "It may have coloured my - my *attitude* toward him, but
no, it's not like I gave him any special favours or anything."

"Then why make a big deal out of it?" Benny asked.

"Because he's a piece of dirt! And I let him ... I let him ...have my
body." Ray shuddered. "Even now my skin crawls when I think about it.
I don't know how you can stand to look at me." 

"Like I said before, I love you, Ray."

"You shouldn't. I don't deserve it."

"Because of something that happened before I met you? Because you were
lonely and looking for comfort? "

"Because, Benny, your love is so ... so *good*, so *pure*, it shouldn't
be wasted on someone like me."

"Ray, you know as well as anyone what I've done for love - or for what
I thought was love," stated the Mountie. "I sometimes wonder how you
could even continue to be my friend after what I put you through with
Victoria."

"But Benny, I love you!" Ray exclaimed. Then he looked embarrassed. "Guess
that's what you've been trying to tell me, huh?"

Benny smiled. "Come here, Ray," he said.

Ray sat on the edge of the bed. Benny wrapped his arms around his partner.
"Do you know the meaning of the word 'unconditional' ?" he asked the
detective.

"Yeah, I do, why?" Ray asked.

"Because that is the way my love is for you. Unconditional. Nothing can
ever change it. Even if you sent me away and told me you never wanted
to see me again. I would go, but I would never stop loving you."

"I wouldn't ever send you away, Benny," Ray insisted. "I love you, too.
Unconditionally." The two men kissed each other. "What did I ever do
to deserve your love?" 

"You were just yourself, Ray. That's all it took."

END