By Amethyst
 

 FEEDBACK
 

        Ray selected the disc he wanted and pushed play on his stereo remote, allowing the soft soothing sounds of Lewis Armstrong drifted through the speakers. Usually, after a hard day of catching bad guys and trying to figure out his new Canadian partner, he required something with a little more intensity, like Grand Funk or the Headstones but tonight he was in a laid back mood so he wanted a little jazz to relax to.
         He moved over to his fridge and pulled out a can of soda and some leftover pizza from yesterday and returned to the living room. He shrugged out of his jacket and holster, tossing the garment across the back of the sofa and the weapon and belts on the coffee table next to the pizza box.
He had just settled down to eat when there was a noise at his door. It wasn't quite a knock, more like someone moving or scratching against it. He retrieved his gun and walked quietly over to it, then swung it wide to catch whoever might be lurking off guard. He barely caught the body that half fell, half stumbled toward him, his weapon dropping to the floor as he enfolded the woman into his arms automatically.
        "Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed lifting her into his arms and kicking the door shut. "Elaine!" Elaine Besbriss, the pretty woman that worked at the 2-7 as a Civilian aid, who was set to graduate the police academy in just a few weeks time, had been beaten severely, her blue and gray uniform practically shredded as she clutched small portions of it to her naked chest.
        "Ray." She sobbed as he carried her over to the sofa and set her gently down, kneeling beside her to check her injuries, as her soft dark eyes beseeched him with a haunting pain that Ray could barely look into. "I...I tried to...I tried to f...fight them...Ray."
        "Sshhh, baby." He crooned as he settled his comforter around her. "Just lay still, okay?" She nodded, but refused to release her hold on his neck. "Yer bleeding Elaine, I have ta get a cloth." She shook her head.
        "Don't go!" she cried holding onto him even tighter. "I...I knew you'd...you were close to...I could only...c...come here, Ray I...."
        "I'm glad ya did." Ray assured, trying to gently pry her grip from around his neck. "Sweetheart you have to let me get something to stop yer bleeding. Please? I'll be right back, I promise."
         Finally she released him and he hurried for the bathroom to grab a couple of damp cloths. He returned quickly and pressed one of the towels to the gash in her forehead while holding the other one under her possibly broken nose. She tried to help him, using trembling hands to hold the cloth closest to her mouth as he gently tipped her head back a little to stem the flow of blood.
        "I have to get ya to da hospital." He muttered, trying to curb his rising anger at whoever had done this to the woman he had, in such a short time, considered his friend.
        "No!" she refused. "P...please, not...not yet. I...I can't." Ray tried to make her see reason.
        "Elaine, yer hurt and...." She shook her head desperately.
        "I...I can't, please they...they...." She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to say the words, as a single tear slipped from the corner of her eye. "I...I just can't."
        "O...okay." Ray agreed reluctantly, he didn't want to push her, but he knew that eventually they would have to seek medical attention, especially if she had been raped, which she obviously had.       "I'll wait, fer now. But we'll have ta go eventually, Elaine."
        "I know." She breathed, some of her composure returning and Ray almost smiled; she would make a damn fine cop one day. "I...You were close and I...I couldn't...didn't have money for a c...cab."
        "It's okay." He assured as he checked to see if the bleeding had stopped yet, luckily it had and the wound on her head wasn't deep, though she would probably need stitches. She nodded, gratefully and leaned back into the softness sofa cushions.
        "Thanks." She murmured her eyes starting to drift closed. Ray gently shook her.
        "Don't go ta sleep, Elaine." He warned softly. "Yer probably in shock and might have a concussion." He started to rise from his knees, intent on finding her something to put over her shredded clothing, noticing the desperate way she continued to clutch the pieces of her blouse to her naked bosom, but she pulled him back.
        "No!" she cried fearfully and he crouched back down and watched frustrated as more tears spilled down over her cheeks. He opened and closed his mouth a few times to speak, but couldn't think of anything appropriate to say.
        "T...tell me what ya need me ta do, Elaine." He requested urgently, he wanted to help but didn't know how, other than to take her to the hospital. They had only known each other a little over two weeks, he was wary of doing or saying the wrong thing, of crossing that line of work acquaintances into a friendship she might not yet be prepared for. "Y...ya want me to take ya to the hospital?" She shook her head. "Call Fraser to come over?"  She had known the Mountie much longer so perhaps she would feel more comfortable with him, but he was surprised when she refused that suggestion adamantly. He racked his brain for an answer to her turmoil. "Call Frannie, Welsh...anyone?"
        "Just hold me, Ray." She whimpered and the detective couldn't refuse her. That at least he could do, it was what he wanted to do in the first place, but didn't think she would be comfortable with such intimacy. He gathered her into his arms as though she was the finest porcelain and cradled her as she sobbed. "Don't let go."
        "I won't." he promised, close to tears himself now. "Oh God, Elaine, I'm so sorry. I wish I could...I wish I could take it all back, so ya wouldn't be hurtin'."  He didn't know how long they stayed like that , with her on the sofa and him on his knees beside her, as he gently rocked her back and forth, but finally Elaine sniffed a final time and pulled away from him.
        "I...I'll go to the hospital now." She decided firmly, a hint of her old self evident in her tone.
 Elaine almost smiled, as he straightened out his tall, thin frame from the cramped position on the floor, the sound of his knees cracking painfully from being in one position too long made her feel almost guilty, but he didn't complain. Instead he walked over to the hall closet and pulled out his black leather waistcoat from the closet.
        "Let's put dis on ya and get ya to the hospital."
        She nodded and allowed him to help her on with the coat, noticing how careful he was not to touch her unless it was necessary and how he lowered his eyes against her half-naked state, respectively. He helped her rise on shaky legs and started to fasten the coat, which fell to the middle of her thighs. He noticed his own fingers were shaking and he flexed them a few times to make them stop, no sense both of them falling apart.
        He retrieved his weapon from the floor by the door and pulled his shoulder holster back on, which seemed to give Elaine a sense of relief as she watched him with shimmering eyes, then he grabbed his jacket and cell phone and guided her out to the GTO.
 

        "Ray?" Fraser inquired as he strode purposefully into the waiting room of the hospital after Ray had called him; his usually passive features lined with worry. "How is she?" Ray had been pacing the small, sterile looking room and relief spread over his face as the Mountie entered.
        "Sorry ta bother ya, Frase." He offered. "I...I just didn't know who else ta call."
        "I am glad you did call me, Ray." The Mountie concurred. "What happened?"
        "Dunno, yet." Ray returned angrily. "She just showed up at my door, beaten and bloodied." His hands curled into fists. "I'm pretty sure she was...I think she was raped Fraser." Fraser did not hide his shock well and Ray was sure he saw an expression of pure, unadulterated fury sweep across the handsome Canadian's features before they were once again composed behind his disciplined mask.
        "Have you called Francesca, Ray?' Fraser inquired his tone more neutral than usual. "She and Elaine are good friends and being a woman she might be able to approach Elaine better than we could." Ray nodded.
        "I... I shoulda thought of dat but..." He shook his head and Fraser could almost feel the rage imitating from the barely composed Detective. "I...I just called you. I...I'm kinda knew at dis, Frase, I...I never had it happen ta someone I knew before and...I don't know everything..." Fraser placed a reassuring hand on his partner's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, to which Ray offered him a grateful look. Ray was still learning the ins and out of being Ray Vecchio, he couldn't be expected to remember everything, especially during something like this.
        "Perhaps I will go and...." Fraser began just as the doctor who had been examining Elaine entered.
        "Detective Vecchio?' she inquired and Ray stepped toward her. "I'm Dr. Rachel
        "Yah dat's me..." he greeted. "I'm him...how...how is she?"
        "There is evidence of sexual assault." The doctor delivered and watched both men pale with sympathy then flush with anger; she had seen the same reaction in many men after a rape case. The Mountie seemed to handle it all right, though his knuckles did whiten slightly from the grip he had on his hat.  The blond however, was shaking with barely contained rage as he stalked over by the window, and braced his hands against the wall. She watched the way his muscles rippled with tension beneath his gray T-shirt and gun holster.
        "Will she need to be admitted, Doctor?" Fraser inquired.
         "And you are?" she inquired and Fraser quickly introduced himself she nodded.
        "She has some bad bruising, a few minor abrasions, but I think she will be alright, physically."   She waited for them to interrupt, as most men usually did, but she was surprised when they both waited for her to continue. "Being in law enforcement, I am sure you know that her physiological health is of more concern to us."
        "Tell us what to do, Doc." Ray requested quietly, his back still to her. "Tell us how ta help her."
        "Anything Elaine may require to get through this we shall do, doctor." Fraser concurred. Dr. Rachel nodded, grateful that Elaine had two such fine men in her corner.
        "Well, there is no evidence of a concussion, but we'd like to keep her overnight at least." Dr. Rachel commented. "However, she refuses, and just wants to go home."
        "Can't blame her dere." Ray muttered and the doctor offered him a quizzical glance.
        "Detective Vecchio shared Miss. Besbriss' dislike of hospitals, Doctor." Fraser explained and the woman nodded.
        "Well, if one of you can't convince her to stay, I could release her, if she had someone who could stay with her for a few days, keep an eye on her, preferably another woman if possible."
        "Can we see her?" Ray asked. "Will she...will she let us talk to her?"  Dr. Rachel nodded.
        "She has already asked to see you, Detective." She looked toward Fraser. "I don't know if she'll see you, Constable." Fraser nodded in understanding.
        "I'll wait here, Ray." He offered as the detective glanced at them confused.
        "Why...why would she wanna see me and not Fraser?" he couldn't help asking, since Elaine had known the Mountie much longer and had only known Kowalski a month at the most. "She...she probably doesn't know yer here, Buddy if ya tell her she'll..." Dr. Rachel interupted him.
        "If you were the first person she came in contact with after the attack, Detective, she may only wish to see you." She explained.  "Most often victims will attach themselves to the one who rescued them without knowing it."
        "Go speak with her, Ray." Fraser suggested, sensing the blonde's hesitation. "I will call Francesca."
        Ray finally nodded and followed the doctor back to the room where Elaine sat on the examination table, her legs dangling over the side and Ray's jacket pulled firmly around her. She looked so frail, especially in her bare feet and bandaged head. She glanced up as he entered and tried to offer a smile for him, but a tear slipped out of one eye and she lowered her gaze again.
        "Um...Hey." he greeted softly as the doctor discretely left and pulled the curtain closed behind her. "I hear ya don't wanna stay and let the nice nurses and doctors fix ya up right." She shrugged, her feet swinging slightly, as she kept one hand on the table for balance and the other at the seam of the coat around her. He glanced around, trying to think of something else to say. "Um...Fraser's outside. You probably can talk to him better den me, so why don't I go get him?"
        "No." Elaine shook her head. "I don't want him to see me."
        "Aw...Fraser....he's okay y'know." Ray tried again. "You've known him longer den me and..."
        "No, Ray." She refused and once again he found himself trapped beneath her intensely wounded gaze. "Just you, Okay?" Ray nodded.
        "Okay, Elaine." He agreed quietly and shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans.  He glanced at her bare feet and moved to retrieve her shoes. "Let's put deese on ya, so yer feet don't get cold."
Elaine watched him carefully catch one of her swinging feet and slip the simple black pump over it with a gentle smoothness that rivaled any Prince Charming in the story books. She smiled a little, as he retrieved her other foot and slipped that shoe on, making sure it was secure before rising to his feet again.
         "Thanks." She murmured shyly, trying not to think how funny it seemed that the man had been on his knees before her twice now in the last hour. If it wasn't so tragic his tenderness would almost be romantic. They both remained silent after that, each perhaps waiting for the other to speak. Elaine stared at the floor, Ray shuffled his feet and couldn't make up his mind what to do with his hands.
        "Tell me...tell me what ya want me ta do, Elaine."  He finally asked quietly and for a long time she didn't respond so he wondered if she had heard him, then she extended a shaky hand toward him.
        "Take my statement, Ray." She requested resolutely and Ray stared at her surprised. "While it's fresh in my mind, Ray, please." Another tear slid down her dark, swollen cheek. "I...I couldn't...I can't tell anyone...anyone else at the station because..."
        "Because you know all of dem." Ray finished kindly, slowly pulling out his notebook and pen and stepping closer to her, though he didn't reach for her hand. "And ya don't know me so well, right?" She bit her lip and lowered her eyes. "Hey, it's okay. You tell me what you need to, I'll take care of it."
        Ray's hands were shaking so badly, he didn't know how he managed to write the details that Elaine offered about the assault, but he managed to get all the information down intact. He understood how it would be easier for her to talk to him then anyone else at the station, they were all like her extended family and Ray was not a part of that close knit group. But when another cop got hurt, especially a woman, whether she had finished the training or not, it got under Ray's skin and festered. He would hunt the bastards down himself, he knew that, and God Himself would not be able to help the three men when the detective found them.
        "Elaine?" Francesca's soft voice questioned from outside the curtain, before gently pulling it aside. "Hi, honey." Elaine offered a wobbly smile to her friend as the pretty Italian approached her.     "You okay?"
        "I...I will be." Elaine assured bravely. "Benton called you, didn't he?" Francesca nodded. "That was...that was kind of him." Francesca reached to grasp Elaine's hand and the other woman allowed it.
        "He's worried about you." Francesca commented grinning. "You know what a big Brother he can be sometimes." She reached up to straighten the collar of the leather coat Elaine wore and couldn't resist teasing. "So how come you get to wear dis beautiful coat and Ray never lets me?" Elaine smiled a little more as Ray smirked at his pretend sister.
        "Ya never asked to wear it." He countered.
        "If I had would ya have let me?" she challenged.
        "No." Ray returned with a sly grin and Francesca cast him a disgruntled glance.
        "Men!" she sighed. "They can be so fickle." Their little ploy worked because Elaine was chuckling now, but then another tear slipped out and she brushed it away angrily. "Why don't you let me take ya home, sweetie?"
        "I don't think Elaine should go back to her place, Frannie." Ray disagreed. "Dey got her purse, which means dey might know where she lives."
        "What about coming back with me to my house then?" Francesca offered but Elaine shook her head, the Vecchio household was to...lively for her to deal with now. "You have to have someone with ya or they won't release you Elaine. So yer choices are me, Ray or Fraser."
        "I...I just want to be alone." Elaine muttered and Francesca exchanged a worried glance with Ray.
        "Um...How about you and Frannie bed down at my place?" the detective offered quietly. "It'll be quiet dere and ya can, just...y'know relax fer a few days."
        "Where will you go?" Elaine countered.
        "Oh...I'll find a hotel somewhere." He assured. "Maybe I'll go stay wit Fraser, since the Ice Queen's outta town for the next week or so."
        "I...I can't ask you to give up your apartment, Ray." She refused.
        "Yer not askin', I'm offerin'." He returned but she shook her head and started to cry again. He looked at Frannie for a sign of what to do, but the younger woman didn't have any answers.
        Finally Ray, unable to stand the wrenching sobs that were pulling at his heart, stepped forward and hesitantly put his arms around Elaine, since that had been what had helped before. Still he was surprised when she coiled her arms around him and continued to cry.
        "There there." He soothed. "It's gonna be okay, Elaine.  Promise it will all be okay." He chewed on his lip thoughtfully and once again caught Francesca's concerned gaze. "Um....let me do dis fer ya, okay? Stay at my place fer a day or two, it's no palace but...ya can...y'know...just do what ya wanna do." Finally she nodded and he offered her a small smile. "O...okay good, okay um...well, I'll leave ya wit Frannie and go and um...get yer papers and stuff." He turned and went to speak to the nurse.
 

        Shortly after, they arrived back at Ray's apartment and Ray grabbed a duffel bag from his closet and tossed some clothes, his shaving kit, extra gun clips and a few other necessities inside. He was glad he had just done laundry yesterday so there would be clean sheets on the bed and plenty of towels for them to use. He snapped his fingers and moved the bureau where he kept his towels and placed a few extras in the bathroom.
        "Is this alright, Elaine?" Fraser inquired as he and Francesca settled her on the sofa in the living room and wrapped an afghan around her. The Mountie and Ray had stopped off at Elaine's apartment to get her a change of clothes and a few essentials, while the women headed for Ray's place. Ray had spotted a giant white teddy bear on her bed, among a pile of other stuffed animals and he had brought it back with them as well.
        "It's fine, Benton." She assured quietly, her hand curled around the toy. "Please don't fuss."
        "I never fuss." Fraser denied as he handed her the remote to the television. "Do I Ray?"
        "He never fusses over me, anyway." The detective smirked as he returned from the bedroom with the bag over his shoulder. "Guess I ain't pretty enough."
        "Nonsense, Ray." Fraser dismissed easily. "You're quite attractive, I've told you that before as I recall." The women smothered their smiles as Ray blushed and glared at his partner. "However I am polite to everyone, regardless of gender, nationality or cosmetic appearance."
        "Sure ya are, Buddy." Ray grinned. "Yer a Mountie, ya have to be."
        Fraser gave a tiny shrug as Ray pulled a piece of paper off a note pad from his desk and started to scribble something onto the sheet. Elaine had not said much since their arrival back at Ray's apartment, but he could tell that she was trying to be brave.  She had not even removed her clothing or Ray's coat and no one pressed her to. Finally the detective walked over, crouched next to Elaine and handed her the paper.
        "I don't have a lot of food here." he apologized sheepishly. "But if ya call dis place and place an order dey'll deliver it, tell 'em ta put it on my account." Elaine nodded shyly and accepted the paper. Ray hesitated for a moment, and then he gently patted her hand. "It'll be okay." She offered him a grateful look then returned her attention back to the paper in her hands.
        "Let's go, Fraser." He suggested and the Mountie moved to follow. "Lock dis door behind us Frannie." Francesca did as she was asked then returned to the living area.
        "Ya wanna talk?" Francesca inquired of her friend but Elaine shook her head.
        "Frannie, I...don't get me wrong, I appreciate you guys helping me and all but..."
        "It's a little too much?" Francesca finished and Elaine nodded and looked away.
        "No I...I'd like it if...I'd prefer..." Elaine bit her lip.
        "What is it honey?"
        "Benton is sweet, and I love him dearly but..."
        "It's hard ta have him see ya dis way." Francesca offered and again Elaine nodded. "Fraser isn't gonna judge ya, Elaine, you know he cares about you."
        "I...I know and I don't want to hurt his feelings, I just...." She took a deep breath. "I...I'd rather just be alone."
        "The doctor says someone has to stay with you, Elaine." Francesca reminded. "At least overnight." Elaine nodded and lowered her eyes once again, just as there was a knock at the door. Francesca glanced through the peephole and shook her head as she pushed the lock back and admitted the sheepish looking detective.
        "Fergot my phone." He muttered as he moved toward the counter to retrieve the instrument, while Fraser waited patiently by the door. Francesca's eyes darted to the way Elaine was looking at him, then she asked him to wait for a moment while she went over to speak to Elaine.
        "Do you want me ta ask him ta stay?" she whispered and Elaine hesitated for a long moment before nodding. "It's okay." Francesca assured sympathetically. "I understand, really. I'll grab Frase and we'll leave." She returned to the pair who was waiting by the door and spoke in hushed tones.
        To say Ray was shocked to learn that Elaine had requested Fraser and Francesca leave was an understatement, but the detective gathered his wits quickly and seemed to accept the change.  He walked over to her and knelt beside her.
        "Fraser and me have ta go look at....where ya were...where it happened, Elaine." He explained kindly. "Dere may be a clue to..."
        "I understand." She replied quickly and Ray closed his eyes for a moment and the rubbed the bridge of his nose. He wanted those bastards, he wanted to hunt them down and...He shook his head and raised his eyes to Elaine's tightly controlled expression. She was more important and if she wanted him here, for whatever reason, he had to stay.
        "Okay." He agreed quietly. " If it's what ya want den...den I'll stay." He tried to offer her a small smile and saw the tears form in her eyes again. "I'll do anything fer ya, ya know dat, Elaine."
        She hated asking him for help, he knew that, not because of how she felt about him but because it took away from her own independence. He rose again and spoke a little more with Francesca and Fraser, then closed and locked the door behind them as they left. Ray couldn't fathom why Elaine had preferred him to Frannie, as if he knew what to do; which he didn't, but he would try his best to help her.
         He tossed the bag he had been carrying into the living room chair then moved to get him a soda. He looked back to ask Elaine if she wanted one and noticed the way kept rubbing at her skin, as though trying to brush something off but having no luck dispersing the invisible grime. He walked into the bedroom and headed directly for the bathroom, where he then set the shower to release a nicely hot spray. He returned to the living room and crouched beside her.
        "How about a nice hot shower?" he suggested with a depth of understanding in his voice that Elaine was surprised at. "Make you feel nice and clean, hmmm?" She nodded, for it was something she had craved from the moment she had been attacked, to remove the feel of their hands on her.
She tossed back the afghan and rose as Ray straightened and gently took her hand. When she didn't pull away or object to the light touch, he guided her into the bathroom.
        "Clean towels here on da sink." He offered. "Soap and shampoo are all in dere and...." He reached down under the sink to the cabinet below and pulled out some sort of body wash. "Dis smells like peppermint, it makes yer skin tingle and ya feel all nice and relaxed." He smirked at the startled look she gave him. "It was a gift from my Mum, don't ask me why, but it's kinda nice after a long day."
        She knew what he was really saying; it was something to help take the smell and feel of her attack away, to scrub away the distinct feel of her rape.  She wrapped trembling fingers around the bottle and offered him a shy, grateful look. He was being so patient with her, so understanding, that she was half tempted to ask him how he seemed to know just what she was feeling, when she herself didn't understand. Of course, she imagined the detective had handled a rape case at least once in his career, for he seemed to know what she was going through.  The question must have shown in her eyes for he suddenly lowered his, unwilling to give her an answer just yet.
        "Thank you." She murmured as he shrugged modestly.
        "Aw...I just wanna get my jacket back." He teased, trying to take the attention off himself. She smiled as moved toward the door. "You take as long as you need, okay?" Elaine nodded and watched him leave and close the door to award her privacy.
 

        Elaine must have stood under the spray for an hour, until the water had started to turn cold, which was actually only a few minutes before she stepped out, surprisingly. She had cried, she had cursed she had lathered on the peppermint body wash and scrubbed her skin so hard it was sore. She dried off and glanced at her reflection in the mirror. Her nose and left cheek were badly bruised, her right eye was almost swollen shut and her lower lip had puffed up as well from the beating.
        On her upper arms and wrists, there were glaring purple welts from her attacker's fingers that creased her smooth, caramel colored skin. Her hair was a mess of tangles, which she promptly wrapped up in a towel, then she pulled on the robe Ray had retrieved from the case they had brought from her apartment and stepped into it. At least she felt a little more human now and a little less dirty.
        She padded into the bedroom, and noticed that the small bedside lamp was on and the door closed. The sheets on the bed had been pulled back and her suitcase was opened and waiting for her. She quickly dressed in a nightshirt, then pulled the robe on again, tightening the sash with a viciousness she never had used before, as though making sure it might never open again.
        Finally she opened the door to the bedroom and stepped out.  The lights in the hall and kitchen were turned off and only a small, orange colored lamp eliminated the living room. A woman was singing a tender ballad on the stereo and Ray Kowalski was sipping a beer from his slouched position on the sofa. The dim lighting made it difficult to see the expression on his face, but Elaine was sure at some point his jaw had tightened in barely contained fury.
        "Ray?" she asked quietly and the detective turned toward her, his features immediately softer.
        "Hey." He returned just as quietly, as though they were the only two people in the world and it wasn't necessary for them to speak above a gentle whisper. "Feel any better?"
        "Yes." She admitted moving over to settle on the opposite side of the sofa.
        Ray tilted his beer toward her, questioning if she would like one as well, but instead she pulled the bottle from his hands and took a few deep swallows, before handing it back. His lips pulled back slightly in an affectionate smile as he raised the bottle to his mouth for another taste.
        "Tired?" he asked and she shook her head, she honestly doubted she would ever sleep again. However Ray did look tired, practically exhausted.
        "Are you?" she countered.
        "Nah, I'm good." He assured watching as she pulled the bottle from him a second time. "Wanna get hammered?" He had meant it as a joke, but she returned his gaze seriously and nodded once more. He studied her for a long moment, before finally rising from the sofa to get them each a full beer from the fridge.
        "I...I just..." she felt completed to explain as he handed one of the bottles to her.
        "It's okay." He assured, settling beside her again. "Lotsa times I feel dat way." She gave a resigned sigh and tucked her feet back up under the hem of her robe. "Don't always go with it though, so I only got the beer, no heavy stuff."
        "Considering I don't drink, this will probably do the trick." Elaine decided and Ray grinned, before toasting her with his bottle. She clinked hers against it then took another swallow.
        "I...Do ya need me ta do anythin' fer ya?" he asked suddenly.
        "Just what you're doing now." She assured, grateful for his company. " I...I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable or..." She shook her head dispiritedly. " I just...I was wrong, I don't want to be alone, and Frannie's just...." She shook her head again but Ray didn't comment on being uncomfortable or her preferring him to Francesca and Fraser. Instead he just sighed.
        "Yah, it sucks to be alone." Elaine bit her lip, thinking how alone he must feel, pretending to be someone else. Undercover is very lonely work, she'd heard people say it many times.
        "To things that suck." She toasted and he reciprocated in kind, returning her toast. "Ray?"
        "Hmmm?"
        "Do you...would you mind if I...if I..."
        "Whatever ya want is yers, Elaine." He offered kindly. "But ya gotta tell me what it is first." She blushed slightly and lowered his eyes and he was immediately repentant. "I...I'm sorry I don't mean ta make ya..." He shook his head at his own stupidity and leveled his gaze on the window across from them.
        He hadn't meant to embarrass her, he just said stupid things sometimes, especially when he was nervous; which he most definitely was. He felt like he was walking on egg shells with the pretty civilian aid seated across from him, one minute she seemed fine the next she was crying. He couldn't blame her for her emotional turmoil, hell she was handling her attack better than he was, but he was trying so hard not to put his foot in his mouth or make her feel any worse.
        "I...don't be sorry." Elaine finally requested quietly. "I...this is just...weird I guess."
        "Dats one word fer it." He muttered, continuing to stare at the window.
        "If you're uncomfortable with my being here, Ray I can..." she began and he glanced at her alarmed.
        "No!" he assured quickly, then lowered his eyes again regretfully. "I...I'm...I don't mind bein' here fer ya, Elaine. It's...it's kinda nice dat ya wanted me ta be da one ta stay wit ya. It's just..." He ran his hand through his hair, wishing he had Fraser's eloquence with words when he was searching for the right way to say something.
        "I just wanted to thank you, Ray." Elaine rescued him from his own inadequacies.
        "Aw...don't...don't thank me Elaine." He muttered, setting his beer on the table and rising from the sofa. "I...I was just here, I...I didn't stop ya from...from gettin'... hurt or...catch da guys dat done it, not yet anyway."
         Elaine caught the determination in his voice and knew if anyone could bring her attackers to justice it would be the man standing before her now. Somehow, that scared her a little, the dangerous threat she heard in his voice and for a brief instant she feared for her attackers once the detective did catch up with them.
        She had observed the fierce passion Kowalski had about his job; it was a passion that she knew he would share with a certain Mountie, who hid his own enthusiasm for justice beneath a rigidly calm mask most times. She had seen Fraser's mask slip a few times however and though Kowalski was more pronounced in approach, Elaine knew that the detective and Mountie were two peas in a pod.
        "I know you will." She allowed quietly as she watched him move to stand by the window. He glanced at her with an unreadable expression, then looked back toward the window. She sensed he wanted to say something important to her, but he was afraid it either wasn't the time or he couldn't bring himself to voice his thoughts.
         "You bet I will." He agreed finally and she rose to walk over to him, offering him a sip of her beer.
         "Now...about this getting hammered business." She commented and pulled a smile from him.
 
 

        Elaine woke with a throbbing headache, an upset stomach and soreness in her body that left her breathless. She couldn't say whether her physical condition was due to the five beers she had the night before or her attack, but she didn't care. At this point, pain was a good thing; it let her know she was still alive, that she had survived.
        Slowly, she inched her way off the large bed and reached for her robe. Then she realized she was still wearing her robe and stared down at her garment confused. Okay, she remembered drinking the beer, talking to Kowalski...she didn't really remember coming to bed. Perhaps she had passed out and Ray carried her in? That would explain why he just covered her and had not attempted to remove her robe.
        She stood up, slowly, because the whole room was spinning and grabbed onto the mattress to steady herself. If she could just make it to the bathroom she'd be okay, but it looked so very far away. She figured Ray was asleep in the other room, and didn't want to disturb him by having to call him in here to help. After all, she wasn't an invalid. However her body was making it more and more difficult to feel her way toward the bathroom and when she finally let go of the mattress, on the other side, she fell.
        "Elaine!" Ray cried as the bedroom door opened and he appeared, wearing just his jeans, his hair rumpled from sleep. "Are you okay?" He was beside her instantly.
        "I...I think I drank to much." She moaned, then wished she hadn't spoken at all for her words seemed to vibrate through her skull.
         "Why didn't you call me?" he demanded angrily and he picked her up, as though she weighted no more then a farthing, then brought her back to the bed. "You could have hurt yerself. I'm here ta help ya know not..." His harsh words faded in the wake of her miserable expression and he couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him. "Never had a hangover before, have ya?" She shook her head and then grimaced in pain.
        "No." she whispered and Ray bit his lip to keep from smiling, lowering his voice as much as possible and still be audible.
        "Word of warning, don't shake yer head, move too quick or try ta stand until da room stops spinnin'." He offered and she groaned again.
            "H...how long does it last?" she whimpered as her eyes crossed from the high decibel her voice sounded to her own ears.
            "Depends." Ray admitted as he sat on the bed next to her. "First time I drank dat much I was sick fer a day and a half." He grinned. "A'course I was also only fifteen."
        "You!" she accused them bit her lip at her own foolishness. Then in a bare whisper she continued. "You drank while you were underage? That's illegal Ray."
        "You'd be surprised what I did as a kid, Elaine." He teased. "I wasn't always a cop ya know." She smiled at him, finally able to open her eyes, one of them at least, to view his amused expression.   "I stopped after dat experience, though, my next drink wasn't fer another six years almost, when I turned twenty one."
        "That's good." She murmured. "Ray?"
        "Hmmm?"
        "Never let me drink again, okay?" she whined and Ray laughed, which he sure increased the pounding in her head, but he couldn't help it.
        "Just lay dere, I'll fix ya up." He promised, deciding she'd learned her lesson and retreated to the living room. He started fixing a concoction with tomato and carrot juice, a touch of lime and some soda water, then brought it in for her to drink. She made a face but drank it anyway as the telephone rang and Ray reached for the one closest on the nightstand.
            "Vecchio." He greeted automatically as he winked at Elaine, who smiled in return. "Hey, Frase. No, she's...ah...not quite awake yet." Elaine blushed at his deliberate lie but was grateful to him for it. She watched him look at his wrist, then realized he hadn't put his watch on yet and he grabbed up the small alarm clock beside the phone. "Yah, sure. Okay, lemmie ask." He held the phone to his chest and turned to Elaine. "Okay if Frannie comes by to visit while me and Fraser go do some police work?"
        "She doesn't have to, Ray." Elaine sighed. "I...I'd rather have the time alone if...if you don't mind."
       "Yer sure?" he asked concerned and she nodded. He returned to the conversation and informed Fraser of the results, then promised to be by in an hour to pick him up. Ray moved to his dresser and pulled out some clean clothes, then headed for the bathroom. "If da phone rings ya can let da machine get it if ya don't feel like talkin'." Elaine nodded and watched him disappear into the bathroom, then finished the foul tasting drink and slowly moved off the bed.
        She was feeling a little better; as she walked out to put the glass in the sink, then she started to prepare a cup of coffee for him. She set the kettle to boil and found the instant coffee in one of the cupboards. A few minutes later Ray stepped out of the bedroom, in fresh jeans, a navy T-shirt and his black biker boots. He pulled his holster off the counter and shrugged into it as she offered him the cup, complete with the smarties she had found in the kitchen drawer.
        "Thank you." He grinned taking a few swallows, before setting his foot on one of the kitchen chairs and strapping on his ankle holster. He paused at this and suddenly removed it again. "Keep dis with you." He suggested handing it to her, not because she would need it, but because it might make her feel safer.
        "W...what about you?" she asked touched by his concern.
        "I got dis." He pointed to his main weapon. "Besides, I also got a Mountie fer back up."
        Elaine smiled, set the gun on the table, and rose to follow him over to where he had tossed his leather jacket, that she had been wearing, across the back of the sofa. She took it from him and held it out so he could shrug into it. He turned to her surprised, then put his arms back and allowed her to pull it over his shoulders.
        "You guys be careful." She requested quietly as Ray turned toward her and she reached for the front of the jacket to straighten his collar. He caught her hands gently.
        "You need me ta stay?" he asked softly. "I will, if ya need me to." She hesitated then shook her head. "You got my cell phone number, you call me if ya need anything, okay?" She nodded and moved away, releasing Ray's coat and wrapping her arms around herself protectively. "Dere's food in da fridge, not a lot but some, I got coffee, juice and soda. I'll pick up some more stuff on da way back." He grinned. "No beer." She smiled and he returned it relieved that he had managed that at least.
        He moved back to the kitchen to finish his coffee, then headed for the door. Elaine put out her hand to stop him as he pulled it open. She was afraid to be alone, but she needed to let Ray go and do his job. She couldn't allow herself to take even more advantage of his generosity to her. He caught her frightened look and reached for her hand to squeeze in gently.
        "Three hours, tops, okay?" he promised and she nodded, somewhat relieved. She didn't have to tell him what she wanted, he seemed to know. "I'll bring back some lunch. Why don't you go and lay down again fer awhile, you'll feel better." She agreed and watched him leave, remembering to lock the door securely once she saw him turn the corridor.
        Perhaps she would lie down; she really didn't feel like doing anything else. She was still sore and queasy, but her headache was receding. She headed for the bedroom, then stopped in mid stride and returned to retrieve the small gun from the kitchen table. Then instead of the bedroom she lay down on the sofa, pulling the small comforter that Ray had used last night over her and snuggling into the pillow beneath her.
        In case anyone tried to get in, she'd hear the intruder better if she were out here. She snuggled deeper into the cushions and inhaled the scent of a certain blond detective, then closed her eyes. If she thought of Ray, maybe she would stop seeing her attackers every time she closed her eyes. Another deep breath and she tightened the grip she had on the weapon that lay with her under the covers, then finally drifted off to sleep.
 

        Ray and Fraser returned closer to dinnertime and heard the screaming the moment they reached the top of the stairs on the forth floor and both broke into a run for the detective's apartment, dropping the bags of groceries they had carried with them.Ray banged on the door and cried out for Elaine, as he quickly worked the lock through with his key.
        They burst inside and saw the distraught woman writhing and screaming on the sofa, Ray's extra gun in her hand. Together he and Fraser flew into action; Fraser stepped up behind Elaine to grab at the flying hand holding the gun, while Ray attempted to hold her flat against the sofa while attempting to wake her.
        "Elaine!" he demanded as Fraser caught the gun after the second try, but Elaine's hand wouldn't release it and he quickly managed to hit the clip release. There was however one round in the chamber and if Elaine pressed any further on the trigger it would fire. "Elaine it's Ray. Wake up Elaine!" Ray bit his lip and slapped her and she suddenly went very still. Her eyes opened and she tried to focus on Ray's pale face, then her eyes moved to see Fraser slowly slip the gun from her relaxed grip.
        "Omigod!" she sobbed, when she realized the danger she had put them in because of her nightmare. "Omigod!" Ray pulled her into his arms and at first she struggled hating herself for what she had almost done and hating him for forgiving her so easily, but he maintained his hold and soon she relaxed against him. "I...I'm sorry."
        "It's okay." He assured as Fraser retrieved the dropped magazine from the floor and slipped it back into the gun. "Yer safe. Everything's okay." Fraser met his partner's eyes with a quiet understanding, set the gun on the breakfast bar and moved to retrieve the bags of food, which he placed on the counter and then left the apartment, closing the door behind him. Ray continued to rock Elaine in his arms, his hands making soothing circles on her back. "It's just a nightmare. I'm sorry I couldn't get back sooner I shouldn't have left ya alone so long."
        "I could have killed you." She muttered in despair and Ray smiled.
        "Nah, I've see yer range scores, yer aim's lousy." She smacked him defiantly in the chest and pushed away, almost smiling.
        "I...When will I be able to go home?" she demanded suddenly and Ray rose to move toward the kitchen where Fraser had placed the bags.
        "We got yer locks changed dis afternoon and had a new set of keys made." He informed as he started sorting and putting away the food. "It doesn't look like anyone has been dere, so maybe yer...maybe da guys dat hurt ya decided to beg off an additional robbery of yer place."
        "I'll pay you for the locks, Ray." She offered, continuing to watch him over the back of the sofa and he shrugged.
        "Nah, da department paid fer it." He informed and her eyebrows rose in surprise. "Welsh worked it out, I'm just da messenger." Ray placed a carton of fresh milk and a few apples in the refrigerator. "I got yer key in my pocket, fer when...well whenever ya feel up ta goin' home, which I guess is now huh?"
        "I...I don't have to go right away." She assured, the apprehension rising in her quickly at the thought of being alone again, even though it was what she seemed to want. She stood finally to help him with the groceries, spotting the steaks he had left on the counter. "Least I can do is cook us dinner."
        "Ya don't have ta cook, Elaine." He stated quietly. "Yer supposed to be taking it easy."
        "Ray, if I take it any easier I'll be in a coma." She returned ruefully, though she observed the sympathy in his eyes, the idea she could be dead if not for him, caused her to shiver slightly. Ever watchful Ray immediately frowned.
        "Are you cold?" he inquired. "I can turn da heat..."
        "I'm not cold." She returned quickly as she began to remove the steaks from their packages. "Just fidgety." He nodded in understanding and retrieved a pan for her to set the steaks in then reached above her for the spices. She caught the wonderful scent of his after shave and a trace of mint, most likely from the gum he was always chewing.
        "Ya know ya can stay as long as ya want, Elaine." He commented, returning to their earlier conversation. He offered her a small grin. "I kinda like da company." She returned his smile as she started to season the two T-bones.
        "You're different at home, Ray." She observed and he cast her a questioning glance as he found fixings for a salad and began to chop up the vegetables. Elaine noticed his hands were swift and sure with the large knife he wielded, and she wondered if he had ever worked as a cook.
        "Everyone's different outta da office, I suppose." He replied as he set the carrots he had chopped aside and began to work on a green pepper.
        "You aren't as..." What could she say, obnoxious, volatile, clumsy? That would probably insult him. "You're more easy going, I guess is what I am trying to say." More patient and kind and understanding, she added silently. He shrugged and started on a tomato, she was amazed at his speed and skill. "You're very good at that, do you like to cook?"
        "Hate it." He grinned as he dropped the tomato in the strainer with the others then ran the water over it for a second or two and left it in the sink as he started to chop up the lettuce. "But, my Mum likes ta cook and I guess I picked up some of her talent."
        "But you don't like to cook?" she surmised surprised, considering it looked like he brought home fresh food to be prepared, no microwave dishes or take out.
        "Not really." He admitted as he pulled a large bowl out from under the counter and tossed the salad fixings inside, mixing it well, before placing some plastic wrap over it and setting it in the fridge until their meal was ready. "I don't like cookin' just fer myself. I didn't mind so much cookin' fer someone else." Elaine placed the steaks into the oven to broil and selected a few potatoes from the bag Ray had purchased.
        "So I take it you would not be opposed to cooking for a special lady friend." She teased lightly as he moved to her side to help her peal the potatoes. He blushed and shrugged again.
        "She'd have ta be really special ta get me in da kitchen willingly." He rebuked and Elaine failed to comment that he was in fact in the kitchen now, of his own free will, and helping preparing their meal. She smiled and lowered her eyes.
        "I hope you find her then." She offered kindly and Ray frowned.
        "I already did, but I lost her again." He sighed and Elaine looked back at him surprised. Catching her scrutiny he just shook his head regretfully. "I used ta be married."
        "I...I'm sorry I didn't know." She offered immediately remorseful, for it appeared Ray was still very much in love with his wife, at least according to the sad regret in his eyes. She wondered if they were just divorced or if he was a widower. It struck her how very little she knew about the man beside her.
        "Sure ya did, Ray Vecchio's been divorced fer years now." He teased, trying to inject humor into the situation and no doubt move the topic of discussion off him personally. She smiled and allowed it.
        "Oh, so he has." She agreed, though she suspected he was telling the truth about being married, the tragedy was written in his eyes, before he had quickly changed directions on her. She accepted the pot Ray gave her and set the potatoes to boil. Since their dinner would take some time to cook, they each grabbed a soda and retreated to the sofa. "I was engaged once."
        "Was?" Ray questioned and this time it was her turn to look reluctant.
        "He decided he wasn't ready for marriage." She explained. "And the sixteen year old he got pregnant obviously shared his view."
        "What a dickhead." Ray muttered before he could stop himself and Elaine giggled.
        "That's an apt description of Lionel all right." She laughed and Ray smirked, slightly embarrassed. "It's okay, I only thought I was in love with him and..." Her expression turned wistful.    "At least I found out the kind of man he was before I married him." Ray nodded in agreement.
        "Yah, divorce sucks." He returned quietly as he took a sip of his soda and slumped further into the sofa cushions.
        "Can I ask why?" she inquired gently and he glanced at her puzzled.
        "Why what?' he asked.
        "Why did you get a divorce?" Elaine pressed and he shrugged.
        "I don't remember." He replied and she raised her eyebrows at him surprised. "I don't think it was in da file why dey divorced, just dat he had an ex-wife."
        "I mean you, Ray." She smacked at his arm playfully. "Not Vecchio."
        "I never said I was married." He covered quickly. "I said Vecchio was married."
        "You said you were married." She reminded.
        "Yah but I'm Vecchio, sort of, so technically I was married." He returned, easily. Elaine bit her lip to keep from smiling again. Obviously this man had been chosen for undercover because he was alarmingly quick witted when it came to covering all the bases of his make believe life.
        "When is your birthday?"
        "February 19th, 1963." He responded and Elaine recognized it as Ray Vecchio's date of birth.
        She smiled slyly, determined to make him give up something personal of himself, other than the fact he could cook but didn't like to. She had the urge to talk, about anything but her attack, and she was concerned if she allowed the conversation to falter she would end up saying things to the understanding detective she wasn't ready to reveal to anyone just yet. She knew asking him statistics on Vecchio's family would do no good, he would know them by heart, as he seemed to know the case files Vecchio and Fraser had worked together.
        "What's your favorite color?" she prompted.
        "Green." He responded automatically. "Preferably da green on my 1971 Buick Rivera, which is currently at da bottom of Lake Michigan."
        "How do you make traditional gazpacho?" she demanded and was shocked when he rattled off the recipe Frannie had given her long ago, even touching the tips of his fingers to his lips in a sign of perfection.
        "Magnifico." He finished and took another sip of his drink. He really had done his homework, she thought and was impressed.
        "Say something to me in Italian." She challenged, and he actually paused a minute this time before responding.
        "Ti adoro, Angelo mio." He replied and, because she had worked with Ray Vecchio for so long and knew his family well enough to get by with some Italian, she recognized the words and knew that he wasn't faking it. Still, she pressed him just in case.
        "Do you know what that means?" she demanded, hoping to catch him up and he nodded.
        "It means I love you my angel." He stated smugly and she stared at him confused.
        "You think I'm an angel?" she questioned and his arrogance slipped slightly as he lowered his eyes embarrassed.
        "Um...okay." He offered reluctantly, cursing his own stupidity.
        "And you love me?" she pressed and he got that deer-in the-headlights look Francesca so often described on Fraser.
        "I...I....it's just a...ya said ta say somethin' in Italian and dat's what I thought of!" he finally blurted nervously.
        "Say something else then." Elaine proffered and he grinned sheepishly, effectively caught.
        "Can't." he admitted. "Dat's all I know." He chuckled at her shrewd expression.
        "You always go around telling people you love them in Italian, Ray?" she teased and he shook his head.
         "Stell, my ex-wife," he finally acknowledged. "She had a thing about me I tellin' her I loved her in public so I picked up how ta say it in as many different languages other than English as I could, and she thought it was cool, because usually only we knew what it meant." Elaine stared at him and shook her head in amazement. That had to be the most romantic thing she had ever heard.
        "How many languages can you say it in?" she inquired intrigued and Ray thought for a moment, silently ticking off the number on his fingers.
        "Five...no six." He amended and she smiled in delight.
        "Say them for me, I've never heard anyone who could speak six languages before."
        "I can't speak six languages, just a few words or phrases in each." He reminded modestly. "Now Fraser probably can speak ten, fluently."
        "Which ones to you know?"
        "Um...well, English, of course, Polish, but dat don't count because dat's my folk's language."
        "Do you speak that fluently?"
        "I speak it okay, I read it and understand it better den I speak it." He profered. "Lessee, French and Italian, then dere's Russian and German, dose are all kinda similar languages to Polish so are easier ta remember, um... and Japanese."
        "That is so romantic." She sighed. "I'll bet your wife appreciated you learning them for her?" Ray shrugged and rose to go and check on the potatoes, more so to just be moving then actual concern for their meal.
        "Sometimes she did, sometimes I could do nothin' right." He commented quietly and Elaine frowned, wishing she had never started the whole thing.  "Sometimes everything still isn't quite enough."
        Elaine cursed herself for having brought back painful memories for the detective when she hadn't meant to hurt him. She watched him check the vegetables with a fork then replace the cover. She didn't know what to say to make it better, but it seemed Ray decided on a way to get them both out of the awkward situation.
        "I'm gonna go make a phone call." He informed grabbing his cell phone out of his jacket pocket.  "Could ya watch da food? Da potatoes are almost done." She nodded and watched him disappear into his bedroom and close the door.
 

        Elaine decided to leave after supper and Ray drove her home, offering to hang out for awhile if she needed him to, but she put up a brave front and told him she would be fine. He was reluctant to leave her alone, she understood that and was grateful for his concern, but she really needed to be by herself, now more than ever, despite part of her wanting to stay wrapped in the detective's caring attentions forever. He told her to call him if she needed anything or just wanted to talk, anytime of the day or night and she thanked him and showed him out.
        She fastened the two new bolts on her door and moved to the window to pull back the curtains and watch for Ray to exit the building and move to the GTO parked outside. When he finally appeared, she watched him walk to the car, tossing his keys up in the air and catching them as he walked. He paused as he opened the drivers side door and looked up at the building, just as Elaine dipped the curtain back so he wouldn't catch her watching. He was obviously still worried about leaving, but he eventually settled into his vehicle and drove off. Elaine swallowed the urge to pick up the phone and beg him to come back, the minute the GTO disappeared down the street but she restrained herself.
        She allowed the curtain to drop completely and turned back from the window. She wrapped her arms around herself and glanced around at her familiar, cozy and frighteningly quiet apartment, shivering at an invisible chill in the air while the voices of her attackers seemed to echo around her.
Just be quiet and ya won't get hurt. The first man had said after she had been grabbed from behind and the weapon pressed firmly against her neck. She had not heard them had not seen them as she had stepped out of her car and headed for her apartment. Remembering the self defence classes she had taken, she quickly elbowed the man and slammed her foot down on his arch, causing him to cry out in pain and release her.
        She had started to run then, as fast as her feet would carry her, and screaming for help, but she had not counted on her attacker having friends and she ran smack into one of them in her hurry to get away. He had belted her, right there in the street just reared back and backhanded her across the face. The blow made her head swim and she fell to the ground with a cry.
        The man who had hit her bent to pick her up, obviously assuming she was helpless now, but she kicked out at him and her foot landed in his groin, dropping him instantly. Before she could get up, however, to others had her in their grip, one with his hand around her mouth and dragging her to a nearby van that she had not noticed before.
        Shut up or I'll slit yer throat! One hissed putting a knife against her, even as the others started ripping at her clothing. She knew then she had to cooperate or they would kill her, but instinct made her fight them and she managed to rack her nails against one of their faces, despite the ski masks they wore, she saw blood trickle down onto the mans shirt from her attack.
        Bitch! You'll pay fer that.
        Yah man! The others encouraged as the one with the knife slugged her again then savagely thrust inside her. Give it to da bitch.
        Elaine had cried out but they had shoved a dirty rag in her mouth and she was struggling to even breath properly and not choke. They continued to take turns with her, laughing and jeering and threatening to kill her. They continued to make up for the few blows she had managed to get in earlier, kicking her in the stomach and punching her in the face as they brutally forced themselves on her, and at some point Elaine lost consciousness.
        She dimly recalled the vehicle had been moving at some point and she had tried to get a good look at the interior of the van, but her eyes refused to focus and she was dizzy from lack of oxygen. Finally, they tossed her out of the van onto a quiet street and sped away, Elaine had tried to raise her head to get the license plate, but even that was beyond her current capabilities.
        Hurting, bleeding, and hardly able to see straight she recognized the park across the way and realized she was close to where Ray Kowalski lived. No one came to her aid as she stumbled half blind down the street, do to her head injuries and the blood trickling around her eyes, until she had finally managed to make it to the detective's building.
        She shook her head and strode away from the window, as if moving fast enough the memories and voices would be left behind her. She remembered Ray's face, his sweet, gentle, devilishly handsome face opening the door and then she had collapsed literally against him. She didn't think she had lost consciousness, but the next thing she could recall was the detective kneeling beside her, trying to pry her hands away from him, saying something about a cloth.
        She didn't remember much of their conversation, perhaps she had been in shock, all she knew was that she was safe and she didn't want to let him go. She dimly remembered him taking her to the hospital and the intensely uncomfortable and degrading examination afterwards. Then Ray had been there once again and she felt safe for another little while.
        She allowed him to take her statement, because she knew she would not be able to tell it once the initial shock wore off and the fear and shame set it. The doctor had informed her that the results of her HIV test would take a few days, but it was only a precaution that she be tested at all. The doctor had found no evidence of semen in her vagina, suggesting the attackers had worn condoms. How thoughtful, Elaine had remembered thinking, the little bastards didn't want to kill her, just play with her for a little while.
        Shivering convulsively, when she heard voices of someone walking down the hall outside, she grabbed one of her chairs from the kitchen and propped it under the front door. It was too dark, she decided and walked around turning on every light she could find in an effort to keep the shadows at bay. She didn't want to be in the dark, the van was dark, it smelled of tobacco and possibly marijuana and she could suddenly smell the stagnant scent in her apartment. She walked around throwing open windows and allowing the cooler air inside.
        Finally, she fixed herself a cup of tea and settled on her sofa, which faced the door. She couldn't understand her sudden paranoia anymore than she could control it. She picked up the cordless phone about seven times, meaning to dial Ray, but she disconnected each time before it started to ring.
Slowly, her tea forgotten and wrapped up in a blanket off the back of her couch she started to slowly rock, back and forth, murmuring words of encouragement to herself. to herself, even as the tears began to slide slowly down her cheeks.
 

        Elaine returned to work four days later, her HIV test had come back negative thankfully, though she would have to be tested again in six months, and she attempted to give the appearance of someone confident and completely over her attack. Most of the bruising on her face and arms was gone and she explained the remainder by remarking she had fallen off a ladder while trying to put wall paper up in her apartment, for those few who asked. Most did not comment, which she was grateful for.
         She continued to train Francesca, who would be taking over her job in just a few short weeks. She knew the pretty Italian was a little dim witted at times, but she was sure Frannie would get the hang of things in no time.
        She was glad that everyone seemed to be treating her normally, whether out of respect or ignorance of her attack. She didn't know who at the station, other than Frannie, Ray and Welsh even knew about it, but she suspected they trio had tried to keep it as quiet as possible for Elaine. However, she couldn't help the inner cringe she felt whenever one of the men walked a little to close to her in the narrow hallway, or when she had to go into the dark, almost suffocating file room to retrieve information on a case.
        She was tired, from not sleeping in over forty-eight hours, but she pressed on, until she accidentally bumped into Dewey in the hallway, her arms full of files to explain to Francesca. The files were immediately scattered and the detective had reached automatically to steady her.
        "Don't touch me!" she screamed at him before she could stop herself as she stumbled back from him, slipping on the files and falling backwards.
        "Hey Elaine..." he offered puzzled as he moved to offer her a hand up. "Are you..."
        "Leave me alone!" she cried and scrambled back against the wall as Ray and Francesca hurried over.
        "I'm sorry, I didn't see you." Dewey apologized, shocked by her reaction, confused as to why she was so angry. "I didn't mean..."
        "It's okay Jack." Ray assured as he knelt beside the shaking woman "I got it, go back to yer desk." Dewey gave them a final puzzled look then moved away as Francesca started gathering the files and Ray turned his attention to Elaine. "Elaine?" He waited until she focused on him and the sheer terror in her eyes made him blink. "Com'ahn, let's get you some coffee."
        She hesitated only a moment, recognizing the strong hands held out before her, and finally seemed to realize she was sitting on the floor in the middle of the station's corridor. She allowed Ray to help her up and welcomed the gentle way he supported her arm as he guided her to the kitchen. He settled her in a chair and quickly poured two coffees.
        She watched him quietly, regarding the way his dark T-shirt stretched attractively across his torso beneath his shoulder holster. She wondered briefly, if he tended to wash all his shirts in hot water, for they all seemed to cling to him that way, outlining the muscles of his upper body impressively.
        Kowalski was slim for a man, she'd heard him refer to himself as scrawny a few times but Elaine knew the surprising strength of those firm arms. She had experienced that hidden strength a few times when he carried her as though she was weightless after her attack and the gentle but steady way he had held her.
        Thinking of the attack caused her to become morose once again and she linked at her tears as Ray sat across from her at the table and pushed one of the cups toward her.
        "I...I'm sorry." She whispered as she lowered her eyes in shame and wrapped her hands around the Styrofoam cylinder. "I...I don't...I didn't mean to..."
        "Yer okay." Ray assured finding the words she needed to hear and reaching across the table to capture one of her hands. "But I think ya need ta talk ta someone, Elaine; a counselor or..."
        "I can't!" she refused pulling away. "I...how can I tell someone about...I don't want to talk about it I don't want to remember it. I want to forget it ever happened."
        "Elaine ya can't just..." Ray started to say then quickly shut up as Welsh entered the break room. His eyes narrowed on them, so he knew he had either heard or seen what had happened. Not much escaped the Lieutenant's attention.
        "Everything okay in here?" he asked obscurely as he moved to fix himself a cup of coffee.
        "Fine Sir." Ray answered automatically, his gaze meeting Elaine's fearful one. "Elaine and Dewey were just playin' road derby in da hallway."
        "You aren't injured are you Elaine?" Welsh inquired in the same inoffensive tone.
        "No I...I'm fine, Sir." She managed quietly, though she couldn't meet the bigger man's eyes.
        "Glad to hear it." Welsh commented as he moved back to the door, before pausing and looking back at Elaine. "You'll let me know if you aren't...feeling well, won't you Elaine?" It wasn't a request and Elaine nodded, appreciating her commander's concern. Welsh glanced again at Kowalski then headed out.
        "Why don't ya take da rest of da day off, Elaine?" Ray suggested, as soon as he knew Welsh was out of earshot. "Lieu would understand and..."
        "No!" she refused vehemently. "I'm...I want to work, Ray I...I have to work." Ray regarded her quietly for a long moment, before finishing his coffee and rising from the table to toss the cup in the trash.
        "You do what ya gotta do, Elaine." He replied quietly. "Just remember, yer not alone in dis and if ya need ta talk..." She nodded.
        "I know." She whispered. "Thank you Ray." He nodded and left her alone.
         Elaine stared down at the coffee she had not even touched and realized her hands were shaking badly, almost spilling the liquid from the cup onto the table. Maybe Ray was right, she should go home, she was on edge here and soon people would start wondering what was wrong with her, she didn't want to have to explain.
        But how could she go back to her apartment? It was too quiet, even when she played the radio or television, every noise made her jump in fear. She kept her curtains drawn, in case someone was watching her and she knew her electric bill would be astronomical because she kept all the lights on at all times. When she did sleep, it was on the couch, where she could watch her front door. She couldn't handle the isolation, despite the shame and apprehension that seemed to covet her constantly, and she never felt really clean, not since that shower at Ray's.
        She was sure people were pointing at her when she did go out, laughing at her, pitying her, as though she wore a sign around her neck that said she had been raped. Endless hours she spent reliving that night, trying to remember more details to give Ray and Fraser, but also seeing all the things she had done wrong.
        She should have run for her car, instead of her apartment building, it had been closer. She should have started screaming fire the minute she had been grabbed, as they always taught women to do at the self-defense seminars. She should have been watching before she got out of her car to see if anyone had been lurking in that darkened area between the buildings.
        GOD she had screwed it up so badly! She pushed the coffee aside and rested her head on her arms over the table. She worked with cops, she knew the dangers, she had seen women come into the station after being attacked and had always started mentally ticking off all the things they could have done differently.
        But Elaine herself had become a creature of habit, letting her guard down and she had paid for it dearly. She felt the nausea rise in her stomach as she continued to condemn herself for her own stupidity and tried not to break into tears yet again. She was tired of crying, tired of being afraid and so damn tired of feeling their hands on her over and over.
        "Elaine." A quiet voice interrupted her self-depreciation party and she raised her eyes to meet Ray's soft gaze, he was wearing his gray light weight jacket and held her slight coat and purse in his hands "Let me take ya home?" She blinked back the moistness from her eyes and rose unsteadily from the table.
        "Please." Was all she could manage as he walked over draped her jacket around her then put his arm gently around her trembling shoulders.
        He led her out the back way, so they wouldn't have to walk through the station house and settled her into the passenger side of the GTO and handed her the purse, just as Welsh appeared through the door they had just exited. He approached Ray, said something Elaine couldn't hear, then handed Ray a slip of paper. The detective nodded and slid behind the wheel as Welsh walked around and leaned in the passenger window to look at Elaine.
        "Ray has the number to a counselor, Elaine." He stated quietly. "You don't have to see her today, but ya do have to see her before you come back to work, understood?" Elaine lowered her eyes, feeling even more ashamed and nodded. "Elaine." She didn't look up. "Elaine look at me, please." She couldn't refuse him and she raised her gaze to stare into moist blue eyes. "Don't you let them win, you hear me? I'm lookin' forward to having you on my team when you get outta the academy." She smiled a little at the pride and respect she witnessed in his shimmering eyes and finally nodded. He offered her a gruff smile then moved out of the way so Ray could pull out of the lot.
        She was surprised when Ray pulled up to his own apartment building a few minutes later, instead of taking her back to her place, as though he understood why she didn't want to be there.
        "Com'ahn." He encouraged getting out. "I wanna show ya somethin'." She exited the vehicle and followed him inside.
        Once in the apartment, he tossed his jacket over the back of one of the living room chairs and retrieved two sodas. He set them on the coffee table and then returned to the kitchen to toss something in the microwave, though Elaine couldn't see what. She was still standing by the door, her arms folded around herself.
        "Come on in." he encouraged with a small smile as he wandered back to the living area and pulled the blinds down lower over the windows, settling the room in a comfortable shade. "Not like ya haven't been here before."
        Elaine moved hesitantly toward the sofa, as a popping sound vibrated from the kitchen and the smell of popcorn drifted across the room a moment later when Ray removed it from the microwave. She watched him quickly toss the bag on the counter, in an attempt not to burn his hands, then retrieve a bowl and pour the delicious treat inside.
        "Ray?" she questioned as he returned and set the bowl next to the sodas, then grabbed a VHS cassette from the table and opened the case. He popped in the movie he and Fraser had sat up watching last night, then found the remote and settled beside her.
        "Sssshh." He instructed putting his finger to his lips then pointing to the television as he pressed play. "No talkin', no thinkin', just watch." She turned her attention to the movie, not really interested in watching it, but deciding to humor the detective.
        It was a movie called Down Periscope with Kelsey Grammar that Fraser and Ray had enjoyed immensely and laughed most of the way through. At first, Ray noticed that Elaine was still sullen and quiet, obviously not in the mood to watch the show, so Ray tried something he often did to Fraser when the Mountie became sullen and refused to play, he started a food fight.
        He tossed pieces of popcorn at her when she wasn't looking, then innocently returned his eyes to the television when she glanced at him startled. Elaine ignored him the first couple of times, but he just continued to toss the kernels at her, then pretend he was interested in the movie.
        Finally she got aggravated enough to throw some of the popcorn back at him, unable to help the laugh that escaped her as he tossed an entire handful at her in revenge. She dipped her hand into the bowl between them and threw them at him defiantly. Ray tossed more back, grinning wildly, for his plan was working, and she grabbed the bowl and dumped it over his head, laughed at his surprised expression, then bolted from the sofa with a shriek as he reached for his soda, which he had not opened yet.
         He rose and started shaking it menacingly, uncaring of the mess he was making of his apartment, Elaine was smiling and laughing and that was important right now. Elaine darted to the fridge and grabbed another soda, since her can was behind Ray on the coffee table. The soda's exploded simultaneously and they both laughed as they attempted to spray each other with the sticky liquid.
        They both moved toward each other at the same time, trying to get the other soping wet, and ended up slipping on the slick floor. They landed with a decided thud against the tile, practically atop one another and once they got their breath back they laughed even harder at their predicament.
        A pounding on the wall from one of his neighbors caused them to try and stifle their laughter as they slid around on the floor trying to help each other up, but they ended up falling again and laughing even harder. More pounding on the wall and Ray couldn't help calling out in defiance.
        "Can't a guy get laid in peace!"
        The thumping stopped and Elaine burst into more laughter, though she tried to muffle it with her hands. Soon however her laughter turned to tears and Ray pulled her into his arms, bracing himself against the lower cupboards.
        "Ssssh, baby." He crooned as he rubbed his hand over her back in a gentle rythem. "Let it out, it's okay." He impulsively reached up and brushed a hair away from her face. "You'll get better and ya'll make a great cop, Elaine."
        She pushed away from him and managed to stand, moving to throw open the front door and escape. Ray scrambled up on the slippery tile, wondering what he had said wrong, and reached over her to shut the door again, using his body to block it.
        "Leave me alone!" she screamed at him watching him flinch back the hand he had reached toward her. "Why won't you leave me alone?"
        "Elaine I..." he began frustrated, he hadn't meant to make things worse and upset her more.
         "I can't even protect myself!" she denied furious. "How am I going to protect others?" So that was it, Ray confirmed, it had been his comment about being a cop.
        "No!" Ray refused adamantly. "Do. Not. Do dat Elaine. What happened ta you....dere was no way ta predict it. If you tried ta fight dem any harder dey mighta killed ya, you did da right thing, you..."
        "I wish they had killed me!" she screamed at him finally releasing the rage and despair that had been building up inside of her since the attack. "It would be better then this!"
        Ray lowered his eyes for a moment, thinking of all the times he had thought that very same thing, wishing he was dead because he couldn't stand the pain anymore, especially regarding Stella. He shook his head, clearing away the demons that haunted him and took her hand.
        "Come wit me." She tried to pull away and though Ray should have let her go, considering what she was going through, he didn't.
         Instead he moved in, picked her up bodily, and threw her over his shoulder. She screamed at him, slapping and kicking him, and cursing at him to let her down, but he was taller and stronger, so her efforts were in vain. He carried her into the bedroom and finally set her down, but kept a tight hold on her as she continued to fight him. He turned her toward the window and forced her to look out at the setting sun, trying not to think about the bruises he would have from her blows tomorrow.  The sky was alight with a fire of red and orange colors mixed in with the dark blue of impending twilight.
        "Look!" he demanded, catching her chin and turning her gaze toward it. "Do you see dat? Do you see how beautiful dat is, how magic?" Elaine's lower lip started to tremble as she stared at the sunset. "Do you really want ta think of never seein' dat again, ever?" She lowered her eyes and strained against him, desperate to keep from crying again, the terror of being restrained making her fight harder, but he simply moved her toward the bathroom and ran her hands under the faucet of cold water.
        "Will ya miss feelin' da tinglin' way yer skin rises up when da cold hits it, or da way it relaxes under a hot shower?" He turned her toward the mirror on the medicine cabinet and forced her to gaze at her reflection.
        "No!" she protested she did not want to see her own battle scars, not now, but Ray would not be disobeyed and she did finally look as he instructed.
        "Do you want to die like dis, Elaine?" he growled. "Do ya wanna let dose bastards win, or are ya gonna look past da bruises and see yerself, the beautiful and strong woman you know ya are? Do ya really wanna leave everything and everyone behind, because yer hurtin'?"
        "You don't understand!" she yelled at him, finally pushing free, and Ray had to catch himself on the sink to keep from falling, before hurrying after her back into the bedroom.
        "Den show me!" he hollered back, moving with lightening quickness to bar her escape through the other door. He couldn't let her do this to herself, and the shrinks and counselors would probably have his head for bringing more pain and fear to the young woman, but Ray could only act on instinct now. "Yer not dead, yer alive, so show me! Tell me how ya feel Elaine!"
        "I want to die!" she cried tormented, her hands pulling at her own hair and rubbing her bruised arms repulsively, as though her skin crawled with hundreds of invisible bugs. "I want them to die!"
        "Why?" Ray parried back. "Why do you want to die? Why do ya want dem ta die?
        "Because."
        "Because why, Elaine?"
        "Because of what they did to me!" she screamed. "I want them dead!" she cried tormented as he moved to hold her and she struck out at him, pummeling his chest with her fists.
        "What did they do?" Ray demanded, taking the onslaught without fear, and wrapping his arms around her to keep her from doing more damage to his already sore chest.
        "They...they...."
        "What? Say it Elaine, ya'll never get past it if ya can't say it."
        "They raped me, you bastard!"
        "Why?" Ray continued and she paused startled.
        "W...what?"
         "Why did they rape you?"
        "I...I don't know." She refused shocked that he would ask her such a thing.
        "Was it because of the way ya were dressed?"
        "No!"
        "Did ya flirt wit dem?"
        "No!, Ray I...
        "Did ya tease 'em, make em think dey could have a piece of ya den turn 'em
 away?"
        "No!" Elaine denied furious. "Why are you saying that? I didn't do anything! It
 wasn't my fault!" Ray's gaze immediately softened.
        "No, it wasn't." he agreed gently and waited for the truth to hit her. When it did
she crumpled in her arms. "It wasn't yer fault, Elaine and ya shouldn't want ta die because of somethin' dat ya didn't have no control over." Elaine wrapped her arms around him as he lifted her up and carried her to the bed. "Yer still here, da sunsets will still come and da water will still make yer skin tingle and you'll still be beautiful and brave, beyond anythin' ya see in da mirror."
         "Oh Ray." She sobbed as he settled her on the bed and reached for the box of tissues on his night stand to hand her.
        She wiped her tears and blew her nose when she raised her gaze to his gasped at the raw pain she saw reflected back in his steel blue eyes, pain and anger and frustration and also something deeply familiar. She had suspected he liked her, because he had started hitting on her the first day they had met, when he became Ray Vecchio. She had turned him down, as she always did and she thought she had seen relief in his eyes, so perhaps he was just playing up the skirt chasing image because Vecchio had been a bit of a rogue himself.
        Then it became almost a game between them. He would promise her dinner, dancing and a fabulous time in his company and she would come up with a wild excuse why she couldn't make it. He did the same with the other women at the precinct. Elaine had never really considered that he might like her more than an acquaintance, but she couldn't deny the look in his eyes either, and she could see now that her attack was very difficult for him to deal with.
        She watched a single tear drop from one eye and slide down across his cheek and she reached up to catch it with her finger, in awe that this incredibly brave man was crying for her. He smiled shyly and lowered his eyes, perhaps unaware that she had already seen all he could not say to her.
         She pulled him into her embrace and they just held each other for what seemed like an eternity, before she felt her eyelids grow heavy and she decided to stretch out on the bed. She requested he lay with her and so he did, the two of them drifting off to sleep in each other's arms.
 
 

         Elaine had been pleasantly surprised when the detective had shown up at her apartment later that week, early in the morning and told her to grab a few extra clothes and a spare toothbrush because he was taking her away for the weekend. Instead of automatically refusing, she had been shocked into agreeing, for there was none of his usual arrogance in the proposal. Besides, she owed him her trust, since he had been so patient and wonderful to her the past few weeks,
        She did as he requested and locked up her apartment then followed the blond out to the parking lot. Fraser was waiting beside the vehicle, holding the seat forward for her to climb in next to Diefenbaker in the back of the GTO. Like Ray, Fraser wore jeans and a comfortable shirt, so obviously they were going for an outing.
        "Good morning, Elaine." He greeted as Diefenbaker moved forward to greet the woman with a wet kiss as she settled into the back seat and Fraser climbed in front. She reached up to ruffle the wolf's ears affectionately.
        "Morning Benton." She returned with a smile as Ray slid behind the wheel and pulled out into traffic. "Where are we going?"
        "I truly have no idea." The Mountie returned honestly. "Ray informs me it is a secret, but imperative that we attend."
        "Sounds mysterious." Elaine wiggled her eyebrows at him and he smiled back at her.
        "Indeed." He concurred as they pulled up to the Vecchio household and Ray blasted his horn. A few minutes later he got out to open the trunk as Francesca hurried out with a picnic basket, and two bags of personal items. Ray frowned as he took them from her and tossed them in the trunk.
        "We're only goin' fer da weekend, Frannie." He gripped as he closed the trunk and allowed Francesca to climb in beside Elaine and Dief. "Not two months." She glared at him defiantly, leaning forward to grab his seat so she would be sure he heard her.
        "Just because yer whole wardrobe could fit in a grocery bag, doesn't mean everyone else's will." She retorted and he half turned in his seat to growl at her.
        "Ya wanna stay home smarty?" he threatened. "I don't have ta take ya along ya know?" She smiled, leaned forward and kissed his cheek.
        "You'd be lost without me." She assured as she settled back in her seat and winked at Elaine. "I got da food."
        "Dere's always a grocery store." He reminded as she buckled her seat belt and turned her attention to Diefenbaker who was in his glory to be between his two favorite women and enjoying their affections as they petted and cooed over him. Fraser turned his attention to the front as Ray pulled out of the drive, trying not to think how impossible the wolf was going to be with two women fawning over him, the rest of the weekend.
        They drove for a little over an hour, Francesca keeping up a steady stream of chatter, occasionally requesting additions from Fraser and Elaine. She tried to include Ray as well, but he seemed intent on his driving and only gave her minimal answers. Ray stopped at a convenience store and suggested that if anyone wanted a drink or had to use the bathroom they might as well do it now.
        The women took advantage of his offer and headed inside to stretch their legs, while Fraser allowed Diefenbaker out for a bit to relieve himself. Ray had returned from the store, offering a bottle of water to the Mountie and having bought another for himself. Fraser watched him reach inside the trunk and retrieve Dief's water dish and share his drink with the wolf, after he had swallowed a couple of aspirin for his headache. The Mountie knew the detective found Francesca's constant prattle annoying, but Ray was trying to be accommodating and not nag her about it.
        "Where are we going, Ray?" he inquired as they each remained on opposite sides of the car, talking over it as they often did, while still keeping an eye on Diefenbaker.
        "My folks got a cabin about another fourty miles from here." Ray returned. "Real nice and quiet and I thought Elaine could use a break." He shrugged. "Didn't want her ta think I was comin' on ta her, especially after all she's been through, so I asked you and Frannie ta come too."
Ah. I assume we are to be chaperones, then, Ray?" Fraser inquired, his lips twitching and Ray grinned sheepishly.
        "Nah, we're all adults, Frase." He replied easily. "Just...y'know wanted Elaine ta be comfortable. Besides it's a great fishin' spot to so I thought you and me might, y'know have a bit a fun too." Ray played with the label on his water bottle, trying to remove it without tearing it, rather then meet the Mounties's probing eyes. "If dat's okay. I...I mean I know we gotta put up a front in da city fer Vecchio an' all, bein' partners and buddies and dat stuff, but dis...well, dis would be you and me, y'know.? Kinda get ta know each other sort of, since we sorta got thrown together."
        "I would like that very much Ray." Fraser offered kindly and Ray glanced up at him startled.
        "Really?" he asked surprised. "Ya mean dat? I...I mean ya don't mind goin' fishin' and stuff, even though I ain't Vecchio?"
        "Truly, Ray." Fraser assured as the women finally approached them. "You are my partner and I enjoy spending time with you." Ray smiled shyly, returning his gaze to the label.
        "So, where are we going?" Francesca demanded as Ray moved aside for them to climb inside and Fraser signaled Diefenbaker as Ray retrieved his empty dish and tossed it back into the car.
        "Fer a ride." Ray replied as he and Fraser settled in.
        "A ride where?" Elaine prompted, obviously the two women had decided to tag team the detective for details.
        "Over da rainbow." He teased as he pulled back on the lonely stretch of highway. "Where blue birds fly." Elaine chuckled and settled back against the seat, but Francesca was more determined to find out their destination.
        "Tell me where we're going." She encouraged sliding her finger down his ear and laughing when he swatted her away. "This could be considered kidnapping, ya know?"
        "You were invited to come, Francesca." Fraser reminded calmly, glancing back to see her prettily, pouting face. "You accepted the invitation of your own free will."
        "You know where we're going, don't you, Benton." Elaine sat forward suddenly and watched Fraser immediately look away. "You lied to me!"
        "I did not!" he returned firmly, meeting her eyes so she would know he wasn't lying now either.   "Ray only just told me."
        "Fraser!" Ray groaned, as Francesca pounced.
        "Where are we going, Frase? Yer a Mountie ya can't lie."
        "I...er...ah...truthfully I do not know the location." He evaded honestly, for Ray had only said it was fourty miles from where they were, he did not give the precise name of the spot.
        "What kind of place is it then?" Elaine questioned as Fraser glanced at his partner for help.
        "He can't tell ya because he promised me he wouldn't." Ray rescued and despite the fact that the Mountie never made any such promise, he doubted Fraser would dispute the claim. "So if he tells you den he'd be breakin' a promise ta me and dat goes against da Mountie Honor code, doesn't it Frase?"
        "Er...quite so, Ray." Fraser agreed relieved, though there was no such code, he would use the white lie to his advantage, he didn't want to spoil the surprise that Ray had planned. "It would be unforgivable of me to break my word, ladies. I am sorry." The women allowed it to drop and settled back against their seats disappointed.

        When Ray drove up to the quaint summer cottage on the lake both women were overjoyed and glad it had been kept a surprise. He parked the car and they all stepped out to unload their belongings. Ray had also retrieved a couple bags of groceries from the trunk and led the way into the log cottage. It reminded Elaine very much of the home in On Golden Pond with Katherine Hepburn and Henry Fonda, set almost directly against the back drop of the lake, with huge shade trees and a patio with a large wooden swing.
        "It's beautiful, Ray." She commented as they moved inside and Ray went to place the food in the refrigerator. He had made the trip up there late yesterday to turn on the electricity and water for them to use. "Are we renting it?"
        "My folks own it." The detective replied as the others continued to look around at the charming rustic furniture and photographs. Fraser paused in front of one with Ray and a tall blond woman, the detective couldn't be more then fifteen, and another man stood with them, with blue eyes and dark hair.
        "Who is this with you, Ray?" he couldn't help asking and Ray barely glanced toward him before answering.
        "Dat's my brother John and his wife Jennifer." He returned quietly. "It was taken a long time ago."
        "Is he an older brother, Ray?"
        "Yah, almost ten years older den me." The blond returned. "We don't...I don't hear from him much, he lives in California." Fraser heard the sadness in his partner's tone and turned to look at him, but Ray was already moving across the room to show the women where they would sleep.
 

        "Now try it, Elaine." Ray encouraged as he adjusted his glasses and watched the woman before him aim for the bottles he had placed on the log. "Wait!" He moved forward and raised her aim just a touch before moving behind her again. "Okay." Elaine found Ray's weapon to be much lighter than the revolver she had been practicing at the range with and made a note to herself to possibly purchase one after she graduated. If she graduated, she corrected herself silently. Her shooting skill was one of the main things that needed improvement before her next qualification. If she didn't qualify, she wouldn't graduate.
        She had already lost a good deal of time due to her attack and for awhile she considered dropping out of the police academy all together, but then when she returned to work, she was surprised to find everyone quizzing her on police procedure and urging her on. She would be training Francesca or just retrieving a file and Hewy, Dewey, Ray, and even Welsh would make a comment out of the blue that she would be expected to respond to.
        "What are the three specified areas considered to be Violent Crimes?" Dewey challenged as she poured herself a cup of coffee.
        "There are four." She returned catching his trick. "Murder, Criminal Sexual assault, Robbery and Aggravated Assault."
        "What's a 10-33?" Hewy prompted stopping her in the hallway.
        "Officer in distress, which you will be if you don't get out of my way so I can get these files to Welsh." Elaine would retort making him laugh.
        "What is an M.O?" Welsh pressed and she would respond without even having to think about it, of course she had worked at the station for a good many years and picked up most of her knowledge from those she worked with, but she knew they were just trying to help.
         "It means "modus operandi," Latin for method of operation and is regarding the pattern of behavior which is typical of how a particular offender commits a specific type of crime." Welsh would nod pleased and wander off.
        Now, Ray was teaching her how better to shoot, he seemed to catch the one area she really needed help in. She had laughed at Fraser's expression when the detective had commented he was going to help her practice, teasing him about the blind leading the blind, until she watched Ray pull out his glasses and glare at the Mountie.
        "I told you." He warned, despite the twitch in his lips. "I'm not blind I just don't see to good." The others laughed and Ray continued the lesson, accepting Fraser's input now and then.
 

        Later, when they were all settled in the cabin, after enjoying the wonderful and filling meal Francesca had brought for them, Ray found a game of monopoly in one of the cupboards and they all settled down to play, after Fraser explained the rules to Fraser. Francesca won, surprisingly and since the others declined another game, he challenged Fraser to a game of war with a deck of cards she had brought with her. Elaine had wandered outside and Ray rose from the table as well, leaning over to whisper in Fraser's ear.
        "Ya should make love not war, Benton Buddy." Fraser blushed and swatted at him as he moved away laughing. Ray stepped out onto the patio and spied Elaine sitting in the large porch swing. "Ya okay?" he asked her and she nodded, patting the spot beside her. He sat down and continued the gentle rocking of the swing she had started as they listened to the sounds of twilight and the gentle flow of the water around them.
        "Thanks you." She offered softly and he glanced down at her startled.
        "Fer what?"
        'This...being here...everything you've done for me." She shook her head. "Considering I was so...rude to you before."
        "You were never rude to me." He protested puzzled. "Why ya talkin' like dat?"
        "I was rude to you, Ray." She admitted as she continued to stare out at the water. "I hated that Vecchio had to leave, I mean...we didn't always get along, mostly he managed to push all my buttons with his constant demands, but we were...well I was used to him I guess. You...you have been nothing but sweet to me from day one, always requesting not demanding and so polite and appreciative of my duties, yet every time you tried to get friendly with me I shot you down."
        "Look." Ray sighed. "I understand all dat, really. Ya think I don't know people don't feel right about me takin' Vecchio's place? I know all dat, it's okay, it's expected." He ran a hand through his hair then placed his arm over the back of the swing in a more comfortable position. "Undercover's hard, especially when yer takin' da place a someone like Vecchio, but it's okay what yer feelin' I don't take it personally."
        "No, you don't understand." Elaine sounded frustrated and Ray couldn't understand why.              "You...anybody could have taken Vecchio's place and just...you know did the cover part, make it look real, but you...you went that extra step further."
        "It's my job..." Ray began but she cut him off as she turned to look at him.
        "It wasn't part of your job to take on the responsibility of getting the Vecchio family a new home when their house burned down, Ray. It wasn't your job to co-sign a loan for Frannie to get a car, or to send Maria's kids birthday presents or...it sure wasn't your job to take on those idiots from IA to save Vecchio and Lieutenant Welsh's careers."
        "Hey, I couldn't let 'em peg Vecchio fer dat missin' stash." Ray reminded, obviously uncomfortable with her statements. "I'd be da one ta go ta jail, not him."
        "You could have told them you weren't the real Ray Vecchio." She prompted and he shook his head firmly.
        "No, I couldn't, Elaine. Ya know better."
        "Any other cop would have, they wouldn't have risked going to jail to save their cover."
        "I ain't any other cop." Ray insisted almost angrily. "I get a job I do it and I do it right, no matter what da cost, or dere's no point a bein' a cop in da first place if all yer gonna do is run away when da goin' gets tough and let people down."
        "You didn't have to do what you did for me, Ray." She stated softly and watched his cheeks darken, even in the growing twilight.
        "I...what was I supposed ta do, leave ya on my door step?" he demanded glancing back out at the lake. "Ya were hurt, Elaine I...what was I supposed ta do if not...help ya?"
        "You could have just taken me to the hospital and left me there, or called Frannie and she would have taken care of it." Elaine decided watching him closely. "You didn't have to take my statement or let me stay at your place or be the buffer between me and everyone else." She placed a gentle hand on his arm, feeling the tension growing inside him. "You didn't have to bring me here and teach me to shoot so I could graduate."
        "Ya...ya gotta graduate Elaine." He murmured, leaning forward and bracing his arms on his knees as he linked his fingers together, still refusing to meet her gaze. "Can't be a cop if ya don't an...you'll be a great cop I know it."
        "But you didn't have to be the one to do all this, Ray." She replied gently. "I know Ray Vecchio would have helped me as much as he could, but he wouldn't have gone above and beyond as you did, especially since you and I hardly know each other."
        "I know ya plenty." Ray defied. "I read yer file before I became Vecchio." Elaine grinned and shook her head, but he continued. "Besides, I...ya felt more...more comfortable wit me because ya didn't know me, I understood dat. Sometimes it's better ta be...ta go through somethin' like dis wit a stranger, y'know not...not a friend." Elaine moved closer and caught his face between her hands, forcing him to look at her.
        "We're not strangers anymore, Ray." She informed quietly and she watched him lower his eyes again shyly.
        "We...but we're not friends either, are we?" he muttered and she shook her head. "Den...den what are we?"
        "I don't know." She admitted. "Something...something better maybe. I...I couldn't have gotten through any of this without you, Ray."
        "Yah ya could yer strong and..." his words were cut off by the feel of her lips on his. He drew back startled and stared at her. "W...why'd ya do dat?"
        "Because I wanted to." She replied calmly. "Because I...I can't ever thank you enough for being...for helping me be strong enough these past few weeks."
        "Aw, I don't want yer gratitude, Elaine." Ray insisted pulling away from her. "I just want ya ta...ta see what I see in ya."
        "What do you see, Ray?" she asked curious and he blushed again.
        "I...I dunno...strength, pride...self confidence." He shrugged. "Ya could be anything ya wanted Elaine and ya choose ta be a cop. I just think...well I think Chicago will be damn lucky ta have ya, I know I'll feel proud as hell when ya graduate and safer too knowin'...well knowin' yer on our team."
         Elaine had wanted an answer but she hadn't been expecting such beautiful and touching words and before she could help herself she had thrown her arms around him in  the biggest hug she had ever tried to give. She was pleased when Ray hugged her back. She pulled back and wiped at her suddenly moist eyes, noticing Ray's were also glimmering suspiciously.
        "Then I'll strive to be the best police officer I can." She promised and he smiled shyly. "So I can become a truly great cop one day." She reached up and caressed his cheek. "Like you, Ray." He blinked and lowered his eyes, both pleased and embarrassed at her praise. Elaine didn't know if anything would ever happen romantically between them but she was sure they would always be there for each other in the long run. Somewhere between friends and lovers they would find a common ground to flourish together. She linked her fingers with his, comfortable in the feel of hands she had come to depend on and treasure.
 

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