Disclaimer: These characters belong to other people apart from Cindy and Red who are mine. Red has actually appeared in one of my B7 slash stories previously.

Author's Notes: Thanks to Snowee and Satal for the tips re Elaine - and for reading the preview. Thanks D.

Story Notes: This is an AU story - Elaine works in a video store. Kowalski is a prostitute and is Vecchio's informer. There is f/f and m/m action.

"Flare"
By Jodie Louise

He was very fat. And smelt. He also looked like Santa Claus. I pretended to be busy re-arranging the stock. I could feel his eyes on me. Damn. I wouldn't have worn the low-cut top if I knew that was gonna be ogling me. This guy wasn't a jolly looking Santa Claus - if you could imagine how Santa Claus might look in a porn film - sweaty, pink, glistening. He came up to the counter with the video he had chosen - yeah - a soft-porn lesbian film. Why am not surprised? He smirks at me and stares at my breasts...

"What time d'you get off tonight, Elaine?"

Damn name badges.

"Could I have your card please."

The guy waves it in front of my face and I snatch it out of his hand. I can still feel him looking at me as I enter the details into the computer.

"You know, you are one very fine looking woman..."

I stare at the computer screen, trying to ignore him. I can hear Ray come out of the back where he'd been helping himself to coffee.

"Hey, buddy. You actually want that video? Stop hassling the staff."

The guy must be three or four times bigger than Ray but he still squares up to Santa Claus, jutting out his chin.

"Faggot." the guy says before turning to leave, not taking the video.

Ray pushes his hands through his blond spikes. He turns and grins at me.

"What? Have I got some sorta sign tattooed to my forehead or something?"

"Thanks, Ray."

"Don't mention it. Ya should tell your boss `bout the name tag thing. Not safe for you at night scummy guys like that knowing your name and all."

"May be. May be Melvin'll pay for you to be like security - must get tired doin' blowjobs all the time."

I was always nagging at Ray to get a proper job - he was a nice guy and I hated to think someday Ray might end up with a man who would want more than he'd paid for.

Ray rolled his eyes.

"The free coffee is enough for me. `Sides I earn more in one night than I would in a whole week here."

"Suit yourself."

Ray leant back on the counter with an evil look in his eye.

"The mountie took me in again today. Think he's gotta thing for me?"

I shook my head. Unbelievable. That was twice this week - almost as if Ray was trying to get the mountie to catch him...

"I think you have got a thing for him."

"He's always with that bald Italian guy though...don't get a chance. Wonder what it's like to sleep with a Canadian?"

The banter continued until it was time to lock up the shop. As usual Ray was all talk - sometimes you had to take what he said with a pinch of salt. Ray followed me out the doors and watched as I pulled down the metal blinds. I could hear him lighting up behind me. We walked in silence back to the apartment block we both lived in.

A couple of times I noticed Ray could've picked up some punters but he stayed with me. He was a gentleman and worried about me walking home in the dark in this neighbourhood. Whenever I worked late at the video store he would come in for coffee and walk me home. Ray could drink lots of coffee...Melvin had kept wondering where it was going all the time but once I explained he started to buy more. He couldn't always be at the shop and felt better knowing Ray was there with me on the late shift.

As usual when I worked late Ray came into my apartment and I made us both pasta. He popped open the red wine and poured us both a glass.

I looked up at the ceiling as the thumping started. Screaming in English and Korean. Swearing. Ray followed my gaze and took a long drag on his cigarette, blowing the smoke upwards.

"Seen Cindy lately?" he asks.

"No. She's had a new guy hanging around."

"Sounds like he's been doing more than that. What does he look like - I'll fucking whack him one."

I grab Ray's arm to stop him.

"You won't be able to take him, Ray. Hell, you're not that much bigger than Cindy."

He sighs and collapses on the couch. Glass crashes above us. Then we hear the guy leave - must be the guy 'cos the footsteps are very heavy. It is quiet for a while then Cindy starts sobbing.

Ray is up and out of the couch I hear him go upstairs and knock on Cindy's door. Then I hear muffled voices.

Cindy is pulled into my place by Ray and pushed gently onto the couch. I quickly lock the door behind them hoping no one saw Cindy duck in here. Her eye is bloody and she has a graze on her forehead. Ray offers her a glass of wine which she quickly drains.

There are tear tracks down her face. Ray puts his arm around her and hugs Cindy to his chest. I am jealous - I have always liked Cindy. Even though I knew Ray rarely went for women I still felt jealous when he kissed her forehead.

"Thank you, Ray. Thank you, Elaine." she said.

And then she started to sob again and I wanted to get the bastard that did this to her - I wanted to get him and cut off his balls.

Couldn't sleep. So I lay on the bed and think of the first time she came to my door. The new neighbour. She told me she was Korean and that her name was Cindy. When Cindy said my name she made it sound very sexy - drew out the middle - El - lain - e.

Pretty woman, cat flicked eyeliner and bright red lipstick. Matched her dress, same shade of scarlet, made her curtain of dark hair midnight, and her eyes black. Offered to help her out and tried not to notice the way the sunlight shone through her dress so I could see the outline of her legs.

The next day she brought me Korean pancakes she had made. We sat on my couch and ate them with our fingers. Lightly spiced, very tasty. Cindy had even made her own sauce to go with them. Afterwards I laughed and said I'd make her some good old American food.

I watch her. She wears these little tight skirts in bright pinks, purples and reds. Never wears dull colours and always wears the bright red lipstick.

This is what I think about while I lie on the bed and touch myself. Her bright red lips and cat eyes. I imagine the things she could do.

Cindy has tied me to the bed and I cannot escape. I am at her mercy. Her tongue darts between her lips and then she is there in my legs and it is the most glorious torture. Nibbles and licks, nibbles and suck. Strokes my thighs, scratching with her nails. Fucking me with her tongue, pushing right in further and further. Touching my other hole making it tingle.

And I thrust, thrust into her. Wanting more and more and more. And I am so wet, so turned on, I want her so much. I come.

When I can feel that my insides have stopped trembling I feel sad. I am here alone on the bed and cold, so cold. For a while I stare at the ceiling - I can hear Cindy's footsteps above me. Sounds like she is clearing away the broken glass from earlier. I stay there listening to her as the room slowly gets darker.

"Kowalski."

I take another drag on my cigarette before turning around. I knew who it is - might as well put on show.

"No mountie today, Vecchio?"

I lean against the wall, and put my fingers through the belt loops of my jeans. Vecchio gives me a dirty look and then walks in close. Very close. I smile and take the cigarette out my mouth, and stub it out on the wall.

"D'you want a blow job Detective?"

"Very funny. You're a very funny guy y'know that?"

He's playing the game. I look at him. We are staring at each other for a moment. Then he grabs me by the arm and hauls me down the road. I can hear some of my `workmates' behind sniggering. We get to his car and he opens the passenger door. I slide in. I make myself comfortable and lounge in the chair, spread my arms across the back of the seat.

Vecchio gets in and starts the engine.

"So, it gonna be my place or yours?" I ask as innocently as possible.

He shoots me a look as he pulls out of the parking space.

"Kowalski -"

"Well if you don't want that then why are ya here?"

"Y'know Red don't you?"

"Well sorta." I answer - I know enough to know that he is bad news, small-time really but with, whatcha call it - aspirations - to be someone more important. Started off as a pimp and worked his way up. Knew he was trying to expand his business.

"You got something going down with him?" I ask.

"All I need is for you to give me a bit of info letting me know what's happening at his club, that's all. I just want you to keep your ear to the ground...I've heard Red wants to get in with some big names in the drugs game...I want you to try and stay out of trouble, Kowalski."

I keep my eyes gazing outside the window.

"I can do that..."

"Good. The normal terms."

I feel myself break into a grin and stretch out. I stroke my thigh, noticing the way Vecchio keeps glancing down at me. I rub my crotch.

The breaks screech as Vecchio does a U turn and gets abuse thrown at him by other drivers. I have to bite my lip to stop myself laughing. Does it every time...just have show him the goods and then... Yeah. He's pulled up outside our favourite motel. He doesn't look at me as he gets out of the car.

A couple of minutes later he is back with a key and drives the car to the back. Neither of us say anything as we get out. Been here too many times before. Vecchio unlocks the door and then bolts it behind us. I slip my leather jacket off and put it on the back of a chair.

"Been to confession lately, Vecchio?" I say as I pull my T-shirt over my head.

His stares at me with those hard green eyes hating but loving it at the same time. Pulls off his jacket, takes off his shirt, and then comes to me, grabbing my ass.

"Kowalski. Ray." he sighs.

And then he is kissing me, kissing all over. I melt into it and kiss him back.

I really like him, really like him. But he is a cop - bad enough to have a boyfriend, without having one who's had half of Chicago and makes a living from it. I know that's not gonna happen, he's never gonna acknowledge me in that way.

I pull the lube and condoms from my back pocket and haul him onto the bed. We are tangled up - legs, arms, cocks. Pulling pants off, boxers down. Thrusting and rubbing `gainst one another.

I s'pose I love him - I think it's love anyhow. I do think 'bout him a lot I know for sure. I get a fuzzy feeling in my chest when I see him. And I love to provoke him until I've got him like this, lying on the bed, hot, panting, worshipping me. It feels even better when I fuck him. When he opens himself up for me. He's the only one that does - no one else will. That's how I know I'm special to him 'cos guys like that don't let anyone fuck them.

It's always the same afterwards. He goes for a shower. I have a smoke. We sit in silence as we dress on opposite sides of the bed.

He knows he don't have to give me any money. Tried to the first time but I stopped him. We had a fight 'bout it. Didn't wanna take his money - something special 'bout him and that's what I told him. Think he understood what I meant. Think he feels the same thing too. It's nice to feel like someone is loving you rather than just fucking you. It's nice.

I turn on the water, make it hot. The bathroom steams so I can hardly see anything.

Something just snapped - when he touches himself like that I just gotta have him. This man, this prostitute, he gets under my skin. If you told me that one day I'd have such strong feelings for a male prostitute - I think I might've hit you.

The number of ways I contrive to see him - first busting him for selling his ass, then for a bit of dope, and then making him an informer...then one day when I met him to get some info something just gave way - like it did today. One minute we were talking and then we were all over each other. Hands, tongues, cocks...and it felt wonderful. And before I knew what was happening it had become a regular thing and we were going to this squalid motel to fuck each other's brains out.

And I do not ever want to think what Ma would be like if she found out about this.

And I'm sure fucking informants is not Welsh's idea of good information gathering. Well it is good information gathering, just probably breaks hundreds of rules.

And I don't ever think about being Catholic no more. I'll be one of those very lapsed Catholics I think.

The fact is I was miserable. Fraser came and things were better. Then I met Ray.

I wish that I was brave enough to show him how much I really care for him. I wish I could do that.

I turn off the water and dry myself with a towel. I look at myself in the mirror. I see a coward.

I have lit some candles, piled my hair on top of my head, and ran the biggest bubble bath ever. I need it after the day I've had - need to relax. It is very late - I lie in the water staring at the flickering flame.

You never feel alone in an apartment block - you can always hear other people around you getting on with their lives. The phone ringing, the lovemaking, the music turned up too loud. Tonight I can hear the shouting coming from above me, from Cindy's flat. Again.

Starts off low, a sort of mumbling then it gets louder and louder. I can make out the odd word - `bitch', `whore', `bastard'. I stare at the ceiling wishing I could see what was happening up there - wanting to help Cindy. I hear muffled thumps - whoever is up there just hit her...I pull myself out of the bath and wrap the robe around me. As I reach my front door I hear footsteps running down.

I open the door and yank Cindy in. I put the bolt and chain on the door and just hope that whoever is up there didn't see Cindy come in here. I place my finger on Cindy's lips as I hear a second set of footsteps leave the apartment. Heavy steps. We both let out deep breaths when we realise he has carried on down the stairs. I go to the window and see him outside - looking for Cindy I suppose - then he walks from the building like nothing happened.

"It's alright. He's gone now."

"Thank you, Elaine, thank you."

Cindy slips to the floor in a heap and I go over to her - there is a nasty mark above her eye. They look blacker than normal, panda eyes from where she has been crying. The light catches her lips - the redness is blood not lipstick. I hold her - stroke her hair - we are like that for a while, just crouching. Gently I pull her up and lead her to the bathroom.

"Need to clean you up." I explain.

She is quiet and nods in reply.

The bathroom is steamy - the water still there. I rummage in the medical cabinet until I have what I need. I clean off the make-up first. As I rub away the black rings I try not to meet her eyes. I am afraid she will see the desire in them. I then dab at the blood, trying to clean up the wounds. I manage to keep everything together until I start cleaning her top lip.

The lip is split and swollen - I want to kiss it. I want to kiss all of the pain away.

Candlelight dances around the room. Cindy's skin glows in the light and her hair is dark like shadow. I am close, so close. We kiss. I can taste blood and lap it up.

The robe is pushed away from me and onto the floor. I am naked. Cindy kicks off her shoes and slips out of her dress. I pull her close to me. Soft. Women are so soft. I tug at her bra pulling it down and lick at her nipples. Cindy's breathing becomes heavy, laboured, and her hands move around to my hips as she brings me closer.

Her finger slips in me, and then another, and another - I swear her whole hand is in there fucking me. I groan and feel unsteady on my feet. We both slip to the floor and I kiss her skin. It is warm.

I am wet for her and it is so unlike anything I have ever felt before. I want her so much. I feel dizzy as I come, but she is still pushing those fingers in - will not stop - will go on. More and more. My whole body is trembling around her hand. I can feel the wetness sliding down my thigh and gasp.

When I wake up I find us still tangled together on the bathroom floor. I brush a stray strand of hair from Cindy's face. She looks so beautiful when she is sleeping. The candles have burnt right down to nothing and the early light is gray. It makes things look cold but I know they are not. I smile, and bury myself back into her arms.

The sunlight is bright and scorches my eyes. I open them - I am alone. I wonder if I dreamt what happened but then I see the blood stained gauze. Cindy was really here, and even though she left when I fell back to sleep, I smile. I wash and get ready for work.

"C'mon, Elaine. Haven't got all night y'know."

I am pacing up and down Elaine's apartment while she gets ready. I feel nervous enough `bout going to Red's club to do some snooping for Vecchio without having it make worse by having to wait...so I light a smoke. I need it - I'll need the whole fucking packet tonight I can tell you. Why did I say I was gonna do this? Why? Got a soft spot for the guy that's why. And I shouldn't. Especially not for a cop.

Elaine comes out of her bedroom - she looks really nice actually. Hair pinned up - bit of make-up - short sexy dress. She smells nice too. Everything `bout her is nice. I like Elaine but not in that way. I smile at her.

"Let's get going gorgeous."

"Don't know why you wanna go to Flare anyway. So tacky." she pouts.

"Fancied a change. Anyway stop you moping `bout that Cindy chick creeping off the other morning..."

This made Elaine look sad and I wished I had never said anything at all. My problem is I don't always think - I let my mouth run away with me. So I put an arm around her shoulder, hug her close.

"Sorry. Didn't think."

She gives me a brave smile and I kiss her forehead.

"C'mon, let's go and show them some dance moves." I say.

Elaine laughs and pulls me to the door.

Whoa - I had forgotten how tacky Flare really was. There are semi-naked guys and girls doing their stuff on the podiums and lots of making out on the dance floor. Red makes his bar staff wear the most kinky outfits - black PVC trousers, tight black T-shirts and dog collars for fuck's sake. This is the sorta stuff I might wear for my clients - not the sorta stuff you expect bar staff to wear.

I push myself to the bar pulling Elaine with me. A guy with blue hair comes up to take the order.

"Got any Polish vodka?" I ask.

Elaine smirks and quickly turns away.

"Nah - just the normal stuff."

Fucking cheapskates. Polish vodka is the best vodka - not Russian. Polish vodka has a slight sweetness which ya don't get with other vodkas. Tends to be more expensive too. I just give in though.

"Two shots with ice."

The guy has got a nice ass I notice as he turns around. May be the PVC trousers aren't that bad an idea after all...an elbow jabs me in the side and I turn to look at Elaine.

"What?"

She shakes her head. The guy puts the vodka down and I give him the money.

"Any jobs going here?"

"Ask Red. He's here tonight, in the corner." blue hair says bringing back my change.

"Thanks." I say winking at him.

I hand Elaine her glass and we move onto the dance floor.

"What was all that about, Ray? You finally getting a proper job?"

"Let's just say I'm thinking of scaling down my other business."

It wasn't a lie - it was sorta true. Didn't know how much longer I had - a year or two perhaps - before I wouldn't be able to get as much money doing my stuff. Plenty of younger guys there already. I had a sorta niche - y'know the older bad boy type - but that wasn't gonna last forever. But it was all I ever done - not sure I could learn to do anything different.

I ask a guy who points Red out. He is about my age, long dark hair with bright red streaks. Looks quite pretty, cheekbones like a girl's. S'pose they call him "Red" `cos of the hair. Elaine freezes beside me and pulls me back.

"That's the creep who's been hitting Cindy."

"Y'sure?"

"Saw him the other night."

"Stay here."

Elaine nods and falls back. I put on my best walk - the one that advertises my trade - and go up to him.

"Red?"

"Who's asking?"

"Ray Kowalski. I want some bar work, got any going?"

He looks me up and down - I should be used to being treated like a piece of meat but something `bout his eyes is dark and calculating. Red grabs my ass and pulls me close to him. I flash him one of my more seductive smiles. He strokes my face with his hand, pushing back my hair.

"Bit older than what I normally take on - but you're cute. Here's my number - call me tomorrow afternoon - might have some work for you."

He puts his card into my back jean pocket touching my ass. I can tell he is getting a thrill out of doing this. Then his hand is behind my head pulling my face closer, and he is kissing me. I suddenly remember to open my mouth and kiss him back before he thinks I'm not for real.

Ray is really going at it like a rabbit with Red. And now...well Red seems to be dragging Ray somewhere more private. He turns and winks at me - but I know Ray too well - just a show of bravado, he does not like this guy Red. It's the same look I see him give to me when he bumps into one of his `clients' on his night off and goes to the men's room to give them a blow job or whatever. I suddenly feel very sad.

I cradle my vodka and glance around the club. It is then I realise Cindy is dancing on one of the podiums. She is dressed in a red PVC devil outfit and is wearing heavy eyeliner. Horns stick out from her head - they look like they are growing out of her skull. I finish my drink and hover around the bottom of the podium until she notices me.

"Elaine."

She stops dancing and crouches down to speak to me. Her hand reaches out and strokes my face.

"I'm so sorry, Elaine."

I can feel her pulling the pins out of my hair until it is down. Cindy twists her fingers in my hair. She is looking at me intently, I cannot tell what she is thinking.

"I like your hair, it is so curly." she says finally.

"Can I see you again?" I ask her.

"May be. I would like to."

My hair is smoothed by her, she then touches my lips and straightens up.

"Got to get back to work. See you later."

I smile and watch her dance for a while. She is graceful and lithe. I want her to dance for me. I want her in my bed. Can't always have what you want.

About an hour later Ray appears at my shoulder. He looks very crumpled and is limping slightly.

"Don't say it, don't say anything. I start work tomorrow night. C'mon let's get outta here."

I follow Ray out. I can't believe he did that just to get some bar work. If he wanted bar work that bad I could think of loads of places. But I do what he says - I shut up - I ignore the wince on his face as he stretches his back. We walk in silence back to the apartment block.

"Vecchio." he snaps as he answers the phone.

"D'you realise what I had to do last night jus' to get a job in Red's place? My ass is so sore - he's into really kinky stuff y'know that?"

"Kowalski. You didn't have to sleep with the guy."

I get angry - Vecchio don't wanna boyfriend so where does he get off pulling that shit on me? I didn't choose to sleep with Red. I had to. Jus' like I hafta to sleep with my clients. Vecchio is the only one I choose to sleep with. What Red did was no better than rape.

"That's where you're wrong. He would've beaten the shit outta me if I hadn't. `Course it don't matter to you. Long as I get the info you want, huh Vecchio?"

"I told you not to do anything that would get you hurt."

"I was doing the stuff he wanted me to do so I wouldn't get hurt. So I wouldn't end up in a fucking dumpster."

The line went so quiet I thought for a second that he had hung up on me.

Then: "Yeah, well, I appreciate it, Kowalski."

He really does - I can tell.

"Well ya know what you can do to show your thanks, don't ya?"

"Later, Kowalski."

"What's wrong? You got that uptight mountie with you?"

"You working tonight?"

"I'm always working."

"I meant in Red's place."

"Yeah, my first night."

"Good. I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah, see you tonight lover-boy."

Strange - when I hear the click meaning the call is over I feel kinda sad. But good too - `cos I'll see him tonight. Need him to hold me and take away all that shit which Red laid on me last night. My ass is bruised. This is not good - will only be able to do blow jobs for a while. Jus' as well I got the bar work, really gonna need the money - rent is due on this place next week.

I feel like throttling Vecchio when he enters the club with the mountie. Even in jeans and a T-shirt that guy just screams `uptight' - he looks wrong in this place. I would think he was a cop or something, way some of the customers look at him they agree with me. Vecchio beckons me over.

"Why did you bring him?" I say jabbing my thumb at the mountie.

"He's my partner. I want two beers."

I slam two bottles on the counter and snatch Vecchio's money from him. When I come back with the change I can see the mountie getting eyed by Wilco. Wilco's alright - bit of a slut - Vecchio notices him and gives the evil eye. I meet Wilco's gaze and he winks at me before trying his luck with a young red-head.

I motion for Vecchio to follow me to the corner of the bar a second. I yank him close and start to kiss him.

"Kow-" he starts as I break the kiss.

"Shush." I whisper finger over his mouth, moving my mouth to his ear, "Something big is happening tonight. Red has got a lot of guys over. Mace's guys. You're right 'bout Red. Having the mountie here could be trouble. He's getting noticed."

Vecchio pulls me back into a kiss but I can tell he is looking around. Probably seeing if he can spot any of Mace's guys. Mace has got his fingers in so many pies Vecchio probably knows what all of his goons look like.

"Who's the boyfriend?"

I practically jump out of my skin until I realise it is Elaine. I pull away from Vecchio, pushing my fingers through my hair.

"Elaine meet Ray, Ray meet Elaine."

"You're going out with another Ray?" she asks.

"He is not going out with me." snarls Vecchio.

"Nah - you don't do boyfriends d'you?" I say staring at him.

"I don't got time for this now, Kowalski." replies Vecchio.

"Time for what, Ray?" chimes in the mountie who's come over as well now.

Oh great. Elaine is staring at the guy all-starry eyed like. All I want is a one-to-one with Vecchio and it don't look like I'm gonna get that tonight. Well, may be later.

"Ray - get over here and serve some customers." Ryan shouts.

He'd been on my back all night, so I go and serve some customers and leave Vecchio to it. Actually I feel quite glad to. Let him sort out what to do with the mountie. Out of the corner of my eye I notice Vecchio push Elaine and the mountie onto the dance floor. That's a bit better now - just looks like Elaine dancing with her square boyfriend. Vecchio goes back to the corner of the bar drinking his beer. I'm sure he is watching me. These damn PVC trousers leave nothing to the imagination. Each time I bend over I swear him and half of the bar is looking at my ass.

I'm quite enjoying myself - quite like this bar work lark. May be afterwards I could do it more permanent like. May be if I got a proper job Vecchio might wanna be my boyfriend. I shake my head. What a sap. He ain't ever gonna have a boyfriend - he's a cop, and not only that but a cop too caught up in religious shit. Probably thinks he'll burn in Hell `cos I've had his sweet ass. Or may be he goes to confession and they forgive him that sorta thing. I dunno.

Next time I look up Vecchio's gone. Can't see him anywhere. Can see the mountie - he's dancing like a loon with Elaine still. Never seen such a strange dancer in my whole life. It's kinda sexy actually. Quite a few people are watching him now. I watch for a while collecting empties, then Ryan calls me and I hafta serve again.

At some point I hear a lot of commotion behind me. I peek through the door and see Vecchio and this other guy dragging Red away in cuffs. Suddenly Ryan is beside me and looks as well. We glance at each other a moment. He then pulls me away from the door.

"Fancy working here permanently, Ray?"

"Okay."

We shake on it. I somehow think Ryan is gonna be in charge of this place for quite a while.

"We'll work out the details later."

I nod and get back to work.

When I'm all finished and ready to go home I go out the back. Then I hear the voices. Vecchio and the mountie. I get closer and hope they don't realise I'm there.

Mountie: "Do you like Kowalski?"

Vecchio: "Well, yeah I s'pose."

Mountie: "You love him."

Vecchio: "Love? I ain't said anything about love, Fraser."

Mountie: "No. You didn't."

Vecchio: "That obvious?"

Mountie: "Was tonight when you thought no one was looking at you both."

Vecchio: "What?"

I take a cigarette out, light it, and start walking again. I walk loudly so they know I'm coming. Neither of them say anything else. I round the corner and then I can see them sitting on a wall. The mountie smiles at me, Vecchio frowns.

"It all worked out okay, then?" I ask.

"Yeah. Thanks. Wouldn't have known they were doing the drugs deal tonight if it hadn't been for you." answers Vecchio.

"Where's Elaine?" I ask the mountie.

"Oh. I walked her and her lady friend home some time ago."

"Lady friend, huh?" I can't help smirking.

Way to go Elaine! Thought I saw Cindy lurking around tonight.

"Ya gonna buy me breakfast, Vecchio?"

"Why should I buy you breakfast?"

"Well apart from helping ya with that case I also gotta celebrate getting a job at Flare. A permanent job."

Vecchio raises an eyebrow and looks at me.

"You telling me you're going straight?"

I take a long drag on my smoke and decide not to answer that question. We stare at each other for a while, swear we are undressing one another with our eyes. Then the mountie does a little cough. Trying to be polite I think.

"I have to get up early for the Consulate tomorrow." the mountie says getting up.

"Uh, yeah Benny. Come on I'll drive you. I'll then take you" Vecchio says pointing at me, "for some breakfast."

I grin.

"Greatness."

I watch how Vecchio's ass moves all the way to his car.

I wake up against warmness. I crack open an eye and realise Cindy is here, in my bed. I snuggle in close to her and stroke her hair. She is so beautiful. I hope she'll stay this time `cos I really like her. A lot. I touch her skin, so smooth. I watch her as she takes each breath, her chest gently rising up and down. When her eyes flicker I can tell she is dreaming - I kiss her eyelids. I close my eyes and bathe in her warmth. I could get used to this, very used to this. Working myself in closer to her I plaster our bodies together. I am happy.

"The best breakfast in Chicago." I say digging into the plate in front of me.

Scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, sausages, mushrooms, tomatoes, baked beans. Love these English breakfasts. Sometimes it'll be the only proper meal I eat all day.

Vecchio is looking at the board behind me.

"What are corned beef fritters?" he asks.

"Corned beef sliced up and then fried in batter."

He raises an eyebrow. It's cute.

"This diner is run by a British couple - they do these things called pea fritters as well. With chips - well we call them French fries but they call them chips. They also do deep fried Mars bars."

"Doesn't sound very healthy." Vecchio says sipping his coffee, "I should try you on Italian food."

"I don't think you're gonna be taking me home in a hurry to sample Ma Vecchio's cooking." I say between mouthfuls.

Yeah. And that hurts a bit - but I should be used to that. Used to a lot of people hurting me. Why should Ray Vecchio be any different? Vecchio don't meet my eyes, instead he stares down at his cheese omelette and picks at it with his fork.

"You serious about your career change?" he asks finally.

"Dunno. Yeah, I s'pose. Not getting any younger. Been doing this far too long now."

"I'm glad."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He smiles and squeezes my thigh underneath the table. I lean forward putting my elbows on the table, get real close. We stare at each other moment and then Vecchio pulls back.

"Wanna come back to my place after you finished your omelette?"

`Cos I was fed up of motel rooms - I wanted to have him in my apartment. In my bed. I wanted to be able to smell him on the sheets afterwards. I wanted lots of things, and weren't sure I'd ever get them.

Never been to his apartment before - I wanted to try and keep things impersonal but that didn't work. Fraser's right - I love Stanley Ray Kowalski.

I've been spending too long lying to myself. It is about time I admitted a few things. I'm a faggot. I like sleeping with men, probably more than I like sleeping with women. And that don't sit well with quite a few aspects of my lifestyle but I suppose I should try and get used to it. Reconcile the differences.

By the time we are in the apartment both of us are as horny as hell. Can't keep our hands off one another. And we are a mass of tongues and groping hands.

The PVC trousers feel sexy beneath my fingertips. I cup Ray's ass with my hands and gaze up at him. He grins. I like the spiked dog collar on him. It looks dangerous. We pull off clothes until we are both standing there naked, cocks jutting out.

And I realise as Ray leads me to his bed how little I know about him. Nothing really - apart from somewhere along the way, for some reason, he ended up selling his ass on the streets. I can guess stuff about him. I bet he's been homeless. I bet he's been raped. I bet he's done too much drink and drugs...

He's kept the dog collar on. I smile and trace the spikes with my fingers as we lay on the bed just touching one another. Taking things real slow. And I rub myself against him and taste his mouth.

One thing I do know about him. Stanley Ray Kowalski loves Ray Vecchio. I guessed before and I can see it in his eyes now. Fraser is right - sometimes you don't have to say that stuff you can just see it.

"Let's get an apartment together." I say.

And I'm surprised because I wasn't expecting to say that but the words come easily. I also realise what I said is true. I want to live with him.

"Ya sure? Ya really wanna?"

"Yeah. Yeah."

We kiss. May be one day I'll be able to tell him how much I love him.

End Flare by Jodie Louise: jodie.mouse@virgin.net

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