Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, I just borrowed them for a bit.

Story Notes: AU wherein same gender marriage is legal in every state. And though Kowalski plays his part, there was no Hand of Franklin.

I'm not the only one whose career got a spin in a new direction. My husband is still at the Consulate, but now he's on kind of a Canadian/US anti-terrorism detail. It's great for him 'cause it's got teeth. Like me, he splits his time between administrative headaches and hard core field work. It lets him be everything that he is capable of being professionally. I am so proud of him. And he gets to go North semi-regularly on Canada's dime.

He's talking to someone on his headset, his back to me, but I know that he's heard me. Knows that I'm here. I've got the "red" phone and he's got the bat hearing. He probably heard me as soon as I pulled out of our driveway. His suit jacket is hung up on the valet near the wall behind his desk and he's in shirt sleeves. The beautifully tailored midnight blue pants that drape his body so perfectly, I bought for him. He knows nothing about power dressing. His current responsibilities require lots of meetings with mooks in suits. FBI mooks, CIA mooks, Canadian Intelligence mooks. I've tried to teach him that a good suit can be a tool, a weapon, but I can only put up with so much befuddled Mountie. And "Ray we are all working toward a common good, what does the designer of my suit matter." I buy all of his ties, his dress shirts and his suits. My tailor makes them work. These days, he pretty much only gets into uniform for ceremonial things, funerals etc...

Finally, my husband disconnects the call and turns to look at me. Maybe he does understand power dressing. The full effect of this slightly undone Mountie always leaves me a little stunned. Makes me putty in his hands. The tie is gone, shirt is unbuttoned. He's rolling up his sleeves as he watches me. This is how he looked the night he told me he thought it would be a good idea for us to separate, then divorce. This is how he looked the night I proposed to him. A couple of months after I was back from Vegas, Benny came to the house. It was probably two or three in the morning. I'd mentioned to him that I hadn't been sleeping all that well. I spent a lot of the small hours of the morning staring into space and that morning was no different. I was in the living room when I heard a soft knock on the front door. At the threshold he stood, with Dief, Stetson in hand. For a minute, he looked startled, like maybe my house was not where he had intended to be. But then he smiled at me. I grinned at him and stepped back to let him inside.

We sat side by side on the couch. Not close enough to touch. Not even close enough to feel each other's body heat. He stared at the floor and kept fiddling with the brim of his hat. I waited because now it was my turn to wait for him. Finally, he set the Stetson carefully on the coffee table. I was scared to death. I'd been dreading this moment now that his reason for coming to Chicago was void. I'd been waiting. And it dawned on me then this was one of the reasons I hadn't been able to sleep. I'd been waiting for him to tell me he was going home for good. And now finally here he was.

I stole a quick glance at Dief. Dief grinned at me and then I realized that it might not be as bad as I thought. Dief wouldn't grin, if he was about to be wrenched far far away from Ma's cooking. And all the take-out joints he could walk to. Just as I glanced again at Benny, he cleared his throat and met my eyes.

It's as easy as breathing to get lost in the deep blue sea of his eyes. And as I was trying not to drown, he whispered, "Don't ever leave me like that again." For one irrational moment I thought, "the Mountie didn't say please". And then he did, in a voice so raw, so ragged all I could do was tug him into my arms, hold him, stroke my fingers through his hair. And whisper to him, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Baby, I'm so sorry."

Four months later, I threw a huge family dinner to celebrate Maria's and Tony's wedding anniversary. It wasn't one of the big anniversaries, but it was really the first good excuse to have a party since I got back. That night marked a total of six months after Vegas. That's how I thought of time then b.v. and a.v. So six months a.v., I wanted to see everyone dressed up and having a good time. In Vegas, we dressed up, had parties at which we planned mayhem and bloodshed. I was still trying to get that stench off of me. I rented the banquet room in a grand hotel, had the meal catered by this restaurant that only just gives my Ma a run for her money.

Benny's main responsibility was to sort of keep the nieces and nephews corralled. It's ironic, even though he tried not to show it, then, he was a little afraid of them. But they adored him. They still do. Obviously, in the beginning, they were fascinated with Dief, but now it's all Benny. Maybe it's his interest in just about everything. His stories about almost everything. No matter how trivial. And kids can be fascinated by the most inconsequential things. Benny is right there along with them. He takes the time to explain or help them find the answer. No matter how often they ask why this and why that he takes the time. Then, as now, my nephew thinks there is nothing funnier on this planet than asking Benny to pull his finger. After the first couple of times he asked, Benny confessed to me that he just didn't understand what it meant. After I explained, he subjected Tony, Jr. to a long winded explanation about how the pulling of appendages had no bearing on flatulence. The kid remained and remains undaunted. Benny is hands down his favorite uncle.

That night, as the party mellowed, Benny sat across the table from me. Tie gone, first three shirt buttons undone, sleeves rolled up. He'd been crawling around on the floor earlier that night playing horsy. But right then, slightly undone, he looked amazing. At first I thought it was because that side of Benny, the unbuttoned, the uninhibited, the lover was still undiscovered. We were taking things slowly and though we'd fooled around some, we hadn't really been together yet. But after five years of marriage, there isn't a part of his body that hasn't been marked by me and yet....Maybe it was the hint, the promise of something special to come. He looked at me sleepily over the dark curls of my niece's head. She slept soundly in his lap, her little hand tangled in the front of his shirt. I opened my mouth to say to him 'lemme take her upstairs and put her to bed'. I'd rented rooms so that no one would have to drive home. Ma was already up there.

What actually came out of my mouth was, "Marry me." He startled slightly and lines of confusion creased his forehead. He cocked his head as if trying to figure out whether or not he heard me correctly. I was trying to figure out if I heard me correctly. I got up quick, walked around to the other side of the table and took the empty chair beside him. I thought about getting down on my knee, but it was Tony's and Maria's night and I didn't want to spook Benny. I leaned in close to him, clasped his hand in mine and whispered in his ear, "Marry me, baby." The heat of his blush warmed my face as he nodded yes.

***********

"Ray, I trust that you have finished at the house." He says to me as he holds out his hand for my set of house keys. And in that instant I hate him. For a moment, I forget that staring out of the kitchen window for hours, not packing anything in the boxes my husband didn't leave for me, has brought me a kind of clear-headedness. My literal and figurative shit are walking hand in hand.

"I'm not gonna let you A to Z me Benny." It's been a week since I've seen him. He looks exhausted. I can see that clearly. I don't think his colleagues would notice. I also see just a hint of uncertainty flicker in his eye. I already know I'm on the right track, but that brief wavering, that tell, confirms it. God Bless him, he is persistent.

"Well of course Ray, I'm amenable to you holding onto the keys for a few days in case you have forgotten anything." "That won't be necessary", I say as I step further into my husband's office and close the door behind me. And as if this is not the single most important conversation of our lives, I casually fold myself into the chair opposite his desk. Our wedding picture is sitting right where it's always been.

It would be further confirmation if that's what I needed now. But it isn't. He sees me looking at the picture. "Ray -," but I hold up my hand to stop him.

"It breaks down like this," I say. "I haven't forgotten to take anything with me. Because I'm not takin' anything with me. I'm not going anywhere Benny."

End of Part 2