Author's website: http://neverpromise.badb.net/

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Author's Notes: The song in question is "Can't Stand Losing You," by the Police.

Story Notes:

It was one of those rare warm days in March in Chicago, those brief days that promise that spring is right around the corner, crusty dirty snow melting on the sidewalks and bright blue sky stretching out over the lake.

Ray slumped comfortably in the driver's seat of the GTO, one hand on the steering wheel, one hand beating a rhythm on the sun-warmed metal of the door. Fraser, though aware of the statistics regarding one-handed driving and traffic accidents, kept from chiding Ray with an effort. Ray was in a good mood, and after the last few weeks of irritable, moody Ray, Fraser was willing to put up with a little reckless endangerment if it kept his partner smiling.

Ray was singing along to the radio in an odd falsetto. "I see you sent my letters back-- and my LP records and they're all scratched-- I can't see the point in another day-- when nobody listens to a word I say--"

Fraser listened to the lyrics of the song in slowly increasing horror. "Ray!"

"What?" Stopped at a traffic signal, Ray now beat out the rhythm with both hands.

"Ray, do you realize what the lyrics of this song are about?" Fraser couldn't quite believe Ray was smiling and bouncing while singing something so deeply, profoundly disturbing.

"What? Fraser, this is the Police. Classic Police. Outlandos D'Amour." The traffic signal changed and Ray accelerated abruptly. "I guess this is our last goodbye-- and you don't care so I won't cry-- but you'll be sorry when I'm dead-- and all this guilt will be on your head--"

"Ray! This is a terrible song. It's practically celebrating teenage suicide." Fraser's hand hovered near the on/off switch for the radio.

"Fraser! Do not touch that dial. Never, ever, touch another man's radio." Ray gestured emphatically with the hand that had been on the wheel, leaving the car completely uncontrolled for a few brief moments. Fraser clutched his Stetson compulsively with white-knuckled fingers.

The song trailed off discordantly and Ray switched off the radio. "It's not about teenage suicide."

"It most definitely is!"

"It is but it isn't. It's about... it's about being a teenager, how everything seems so huge, so monu-- monu--"

"Monumental?"

"Yeah, that's the word. You get dumped by your girl, it's the worst thing that ever happened to anybody in the world, ever. This is exactly how I felt when Stella dumped me in the tenth grade for Charlie McShane. Like my life was over, I might as well kill myself. But at the same time it's so over-the-top, you know you can't take it seriously."

"It's a parody."

"Exactly!" Ray shot him a grin. "It's like he knows exactly how it feels, but he's making fun of it, too."

"And the high, whiny tone of his voice, that's part of the parody as well."

Ray winced. "No, that's, uh, that's just Sting. The singer," he answered before Fraser could even get the question out.

"I see," Fraser replied, somewhat dubiously.

"Didn't they have music in Upper Frozen Whatsitsland?" The teasing, sly smile that came with the question made Fraser almost smile back, though he was trying to keep a straight face.

"Well, Ray," and Fraser proceeded to tell Ray more than he'd ever wanted to know about traditional Inuit music, as high, fleecy white clouds floated across the bright blue sky that stretched out over the lake they called Michigan.

end

End Outlandos D'Amour by Alex SisterWolf: alex@badb.net

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