Title: Todokanu Omoi-My Friend's Love Part/chapter: 2 Author: Snarf Rating: PG Email: zyren@wam.umd.edu If you have any questions, feel free to email me. Thanks! Snarf --------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, and never will. -_- They're owned by Naoko Takeuchi and everyone else whose names I just can't remember right now. The song which inspired it is at the end. Comments, constructive criticisms and just e-mail is very very welcome! Sorry it took so long, hopefully the next chapter won't be that way. Enjoy! TODOKANU OMOI-MY FRIEND'S LOVE Chapter 2 It had been an hour since Seiya had finally come inside and went to bed, two since Ami left, and Taiki was still up. He had buried himself in poetry, literally poetry about love, searching for the correct words to describe his relationship with Ami. Sighing, he shut the book, thinking over what had happened that night. /I would have to be blind to not realize what is going on,/ he thought, mulling over the past events. This wasn't the first time this had happened, either. Somehow, within the past few months, Yaten had been paying a lot more attention to Ami than he ever did for any girl at all. And tonight had verified Taiki's theory: Yaten was in love with Ami. /So, why aren't I upset about all of this? I should be boiling over with jealousy right about now, or at the very least, a little overprotective of Ami, shouldn't I be? And I'm not. I don't mind one bit./ That was what troubled him the most: he was almost happy about it. So he had turned to poetry to see weather he loved Ami or not and the answer turned out to be clearly, no. He sighed, burying himself in his thoughts. /Why did I start to date her then? Because she was my intellectual equal. As much as I love Seiya and Yaten, I know I bore both of them with things that I find the most interesting. Ami finds the same things interesting, so I guess it was logical./ Taiki rose and went to the kitchen, trying to find some tea to help him with his thoughts. He found the basketball Seiya had used lying abandoned in the kitchen; tossed haphazardly in the sink. /Poor Seiya,/ Taiki thought, returning the ball back to the basement with all the others. /I wonder what made him go out? Was it thinking about Usagi again? I remember how awful he felt six months ago, the pain was visible on his face no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Yaten and I felt so useless then because there was nothing we could do. I still can not beleive he harbors those feelings after six months!/ /Do I want Yaten to go through the same thing? No, I should prevent that. No one should have to live through such pain. If I truly loved Ami, I wouldn't be able to help, but I don't. I enjoy her company and her friendship, but that is all. Besides/ he started to smile, /she likes him too. Perhaps she just hasn't realized it yet. No, I know she hasn't realized it yet./ /So what should I do? The easiest thing would be to dump her. That way Yaten will go after her instead of backing away because she is my girlfriend. Yes. Tomorrow I should end Ami's and my 'relationship'./ Yawning, Taiki realized he didn't need, or want the tea any longer. He had resolved his conflict, which made the weight of his heart lighter. /I'm glad this is all working out so well. Soon, everyone can be happy again./ * * * Early the next morning, Seiya woke up and started his usual morning jog. He still needed to clear his head from all the things that went on the night before; something an hour of basketball and four hours of troubled sleep didn't help. /At least I'm getting healthier./ he mused, ignoring the beautiful scenery around him. He hoped he wouldn't have to meet up with Mamoru; that would just ruin what little peace he had captured. And with all the other emotional problems running around his home, he needed to escape for a while. After an hour, Seiya rounded the bend on the last leg of the jog feeling somewhat refreshed. Panting, he stood at the gate to their home for a few minutes, wondering if he should go in. /Geez, Seiya, what are you trying to do? You *live* with them! You can't avoid them! Still, how am I going to deal with this? They're both my friends!/ He shook his head. /I thought jogging was supposed to clear my head, not mess it all up again. Well, I just won't deal with it right now./ He ran up the steps and went inside. "I'm home!" he called out loudly, taking off his shoes. An answering call wafted out from the kitchen. Seiya entered it to find Yaten with his head buried in the refridgerator. "What are you looking for?" he asked, choosing to forget the harsh words Yaten had said last night. "Food. There's none in here." Yaten impertenantly slammed the door shut. "Your jog must've been longer than usual, you smell worse." "Jogging helps clear the head," Seiya replied, taking his turn at the fridge. Yaten looked away. "About last night...." "Forget about it," Seiya gave him a hearty clap on the shoulder. "It's over. Anyway, for once, you're right. We haven't got any food. Who's turn was it to go shopping?" "Taiki's." Yaten let out a displeased snort. "He's been so preoccupied lately he's neglected just about everything!" Seiya did not want to bring up Ami again. "That's okay, I'll just do it on the way home." "We've got no breakfast! How can going shopping on the way home fix that?" Yaten delicately picked Seiya's hand off his shoulder. "And don't touch me. I don't want to go to school smelling like a monkey." "Oh?" Seiya grinned mischieviously, then grabbed Yaten in a bear hug. "How do you like this, hmmmm???" "Hey! Let go!" Yaten wriggled out of Seiya's grasp. "Oh, yuck! You're wet! I'm going to rinse this gunk off!" He stormed out of the kitchen, nearly bumping into Taiki. Seiya laughed, "Did you see the look on his face? If only I had a camera!" "I am going to school early today," Taiki announced, fastidiously rearranging the books in his bag. "I have something important to discuss with Professor Aoki." "Well, if you wait a bit, we'll go with you," Seiya said, peeling off his shirt. "We haven't got any breakfast here, anyway." "No bother. Yaten will most likely be a while in the bathroom." Taiki glanced almost wistfully towards the upstairs. "He really does like her, doesn't he?" It took Seiya a moment to figure out what Taiki was talking about. /There goes not dealing with it./ "Listen, Taiki..." "It is all right," Taiki gave him a wan smile. "I am not upset, and this does not change things between us. In fact, I even have a solution." He clapped the strap shut on his bag with finality. "I am leaving, now." Seiya watched him go, feeling trapped in the middle. But what could he do? /God, this sucks. One of them's going to be hurt, and I can't do anything about it! Maybe I shouldn't have dragged them both back here. It would have been better for all of us, anyway./ * * * "AAAAAMMIIIII!" Ami turned around, greeting Makoto with a warm smile. "You're up early this morning!" "Yeah," Makoto grinned, "I've got a meet in a few weeks, so the track club's holding extra practices in the morning. Don't tell me the computer club's the same way?" "No, I just go to school early to get some extra studying in." Ami looked down at her bag. /I wish that were the only reason./ Knowing it wasn't like Ami to be so depressed, Makoto dismissed beating around the bush. "Ami? Is everything okay? You look a little down." "Is... is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?" Her voice was small, ashamed. "What? What are you talking about?" Carefully, Ami revealed what had been going on for a few weeks. "Is it selfish of me, Makoto? How can I like them both? I'm supposed to be in love with Taiki, right? So, why am I feeling this way about Yaten?" Makoto sighed. "I don't know, Ami. Love just happens sometimes. And how do you know it's love? It could be just a big crush because he's famous. Just about everyone in the country has that about one or all of them." "But still... I know I have to choose between them, and maybe a week before I would have chosen Taiki without question, but now... I just don't know..." "I've got an idea! Why don't you come over to my place this afternoon? We'll make cookies and sort all of this out, okay?" Makoto grinned at Ami's nod. "Boy, I'm jealous, though. Two of the Three Lights in love with you! Rei's gonna be pissed!" Ami blushed. "I don't think they're *both* in love with me." "Oh, sure they're not," Makoto teased, pleased that she was able to help Ami just a little bit this morning. "If Yaten's even looking at you without disdain, he's got something going for you. I can't even get him to look at *me* half the time, and I'm the tallest person in the school!" "Oh, he isn't like that at all. He's like Rei in a way; hard on the outside, but inside really caring." Ami flushed as she realized what she was blabbering. "Sounds to me you really like him." "N-no! No, it's... it's like you said! A crush! After all, he'd just be nice to me because I'm dating Taiki, right? And he *is* famous, so I'm bound to like him a little more than normal boys, right?" "Ami," Makoto lowered her voice, the teasing gone out of it. "Who are you trying to convince? Me, or you?" "We're here," Ami said, relieved she could get away from the conversation. Talking to Makoto was only driving her in circles and her heart was tied up in knots to begin with. "I'm going to the computer lab, now." "You'll meet me after school, right?" Makoto wanted to make sure Ami wasn't going to skip out on their talk. Ami was going to need it, and ten minutes while walking to school wasn't enough to help. Makoto thought about shirking practice, though Yukiko would have killed her, but decided against it. Ami seemed to need some space. Ami nodded briefly, wishing Makoto well in practice before rushing to the safety of the school doors. /Why is this happening to *me*? I don't know how to deal with this sort of thing! I... I love Taiki and that's all there is to it!/ She hurried to the computer lab, knowing Taiki was going to be there and needing to confirm for herself that she was right. * * * Taiki was in the computer room, typing, but his mind was reeling. He knew he had to dump Ami, but he didn't want to hurt her too much. /'Dump' is such a harsh word, too. I wish we weren't dating, so I could just let her go. Or, perhaps just ignore her for a while./ "Taiki?" Ami's tentative voice, along with the soft pad of her footsteps, neared him. /I suppose I can't get out of it now. It is either now, or never./ "Good morning," he answered flatly, eyes fixated on the screen. Ami stood behind him a moment, waiting for him to turn about and recognize she was in the room. He continued to type, the clackety-clack of the keys the only sound in the now tense room. She gulped, willing herself to be strong though her heart was thudding against her chest with realization. "I was thinking, if you're not busy tonight we could-" Taiki swiftly cut her off, his back still towards her, in a voice that was cold and calculating. "I'm sorry, but I will be busy tonight. In fact, I'm going to be busy these next few months on a special project at school, so it would probably be better if we didn't go out for a while." /There, that should do it./ Ami trembled inwardly, not wanting this to be happening. She forced herself to continue, thinking perhaps it was Taiki's idea of a joke. "Um, that's okay, really. I mean, we can always see each other on Sundays, right?" "I'll be busy Sundays too." /Don't do this to me,/ Taiki told her mentally, seeing no reason to draw this out any further. /Just please take the hint./ Ami knew what was going on, she was deathly terrified that it was. Pretending that she misunderstood his meaning, she pressed on as if to force herself in his heart. "Is it something I can help on? I know astronomy well, and-" "It's a solitary project. I need to do it alone." "I know that, but I could still help with-" "Ami, I don't want you to help me. I don't want to see you right now." Taiki continued to type, bitterly, fingers almost pounding the keys into the keyboard. /Please, please understand! Don't make me do this!/ "But, I thought that you love-" Taiki quickly doused any last hope she could cling to. "I don't feel that way about you, so I don't think we ought to see each other any more. I only dated you because it was logical for us; as you see we are the most compatible since we are both smart." "I see." Ami felt sick, her stomach tuning inside out as her heart was torn in two. Taiki had slapped her in the face with rejection, and she was too stupid and cowardly to accept it. Tears swelled in her eyes, burning with shame and regret. "I'm sorry for disturbing you." Quickly she fled before the tears spilled over onto her cheeks. /Idiot! Idiot!/ she savagely tore at herself. /He never loved you! It was all a lie!/ /I'm sorry,/ Taiki thought after her, truly regretting being so harsh. /But it'll be better this way. You'll see. It'll be better this way./ ---------------------------------------------------- Here's the song again, which has proved to be more inspiration than actual substance now. The translation's again by Alex Glover. Yuube no naka de nando mo Sotto kuchizuke kawashita Sukitooru tsubura na hitomi ni Suikomarete iku Kimi no naka de madoromu Nukumori ni tsutsumarete soo Aa itsumademo samenaide to Tsuraku sakebu no sa Mune no oku no takanari kara Jibun de mo honki no shiru Setsunasugite modokasikute Akiramekirenai Motto deai ga hayakereba to Iiwake bakari mitsuketeru Tsuki no hikari ga todokanu kanata e Aa kimi o tsuresaritai Asayake ni terasareta Kimi no eegao mabushisugite Kono mama hukairi shiteiku Jibun ga kowai yo Hui ni naru PHS ga Hutari no kyori hiraku yo Tomodachi da to ii hito da to Warikirenakute Kinou anna ni yasashikute mo Ima goro aitsu no ude no naka Tsuki no hikari ga todokanu kanata e Aa kimi o tsuresaritai English trans: In my dreams, how many times have we Given each other tender kisses When I look into your round eyes I am drawn right into them Dropping off to sleep held by you Like that, I am wrapped in your warmth Oh, if I could never wake up from this I yell out with that pain Because my heart is beating so quickly I know myself that this is for real This heartache is too much, I've grown tired of it I won't give up on this If we had only met earlier All I can find is that excuse To the distances where the moonlight doesn't reach Oh, I want to take you there Shining as the sun rises Your smileing face is too brilliant Like this, I will get deep inside I am scared of being alone Suddenly ringing out, the PHS is Coming across the distance between us You say I'm a friend, you say I'm a nice guy I just don't understand Yesterday you were so sweet to me But now you are being held in his arms... To the distances where the moonlight doesn't reach Oh, I want to take you there