Email: slashgirl@gmail.com

Author's notes: Rated R for discussion of a m/m relationship (Blair's still pissed off at Jim). If ya don't like this or are underage where ya live, go read something else. You'll live a longer and happier life that way! This part III of Guppy tales. It'll probably make more sense if you read I & II first. Slight spoilers for Inside Man. Thanks to Yvonne, whose comments on Part II made me think, and take this story in a different direction than I'd planned. May be archived, pls. keep the headers. Comments welcome as always, send 'em to me slashgirl@hotmail.com


Guppy tales III:
Angling
by Stacy L.A. Stronach, November 1997


Blair woke up before the alarm went off to find himself wrapped
in Jim's embrace. He moved so that he could look at the other
man's face. Jim looked so calm and peaceful when he slept, the
lines of tension and strain seemed to disappear from his face.
Blair thought his heart would burst, he loved this man so much,
more than he'd loved anyone, ever, in his life. He felt a sadness as
well, he knew that Jim's confusion over his feelings for
Blair, his feelings about the whole "gay" thing could ruin
things. Plus, he was still angry at Jim for screwing around on
him. There was a lot they'd have to talk about, whether Jim
wanted to or not. Whether Blair wanted to or not.


Blair climbed out of bed as quietly as possible. He was mildly
surprised when Jim didn't wake up--obviously the other man was
used to having Blair getting in and out of his bed now. Making
his way to the bathroom, Blair turned the shower on, letting the
water get up to a warm temperature before climbing in. He quickly finished
his shower, and shutting the water off, heard Jim come
into the bathroom.


"Hey, Chief, you need any help in there?" Jim asked, a teasing
tone in his voice.


Pushing the shower curtain aside and climbing out, Blair grabbed
a towel, wrapping it around himself. "No, man, I'm finished," he
said, as he snagged another towel for his hair, wrapping it
around his head. He tried to walk around Jim, but the older man
pulled Blair into his arms, capturing Blair's mouth for a kiss.
Blair sighed, wrapping his arms around Jim's neck, as he opened
his mouth for Jim's tongue. They plundered each other's mouths,
tasting, teasing, until Blair broke the kiss, looking at his
lover. "C'mon, man, we've got to get ready for work--I've got to
go in early today," he said, as he extricated himself from Jim's
embrace.


Jim tried to pull him back. "Blair, I need you, I want you," he
begged.


"Jim, I'm still upset with you for what happened, okay? And a
quick fuck isn't going to make everything better. We need to
talk, and we just don't have the time right now. I've got to get
ready for work," Blair said quietly as he started shaving.


Getting into the shower, Jim was hurt. He'd thought Blair had
forgiven him, but obviously he hadn't. Jim wondered just how long he'd
be paying for sleeping with Michelle. He was really
beginning to wonder if she had been worth it...


Later that afternoon, Blair sat in his office trying to get some
work done, but not being very successful at it. Blair hoped that
he and Jim would soon resolve their problems, otherwise he'd be
hopelessly behind in his work. He looked at the clock--another
half hour before he could leave for the day. Sighing he made
another attempt at the paperwork in front of him.


Jim was glad it had been a quiet afternoon at the station, he was so
distracted that if he'd had to go in the field, he probably
would've ended up shot. He been doing some thinking about what
had happened, and it wasn't something he was used to--examining
his motives and emotions. Jim looked at his watch--another half
hour before he had to go home and face Blair, talk with Blair and he
wasn't looking forward to it.


When Jim opened the door, he was surprised to see dinner waiting
on the table. He certainly hadn't figured Blair would cook for
him, after all that had occurred. Jim hung up his coat, then
moved
to sit down. "This looks great, Blair," he said, figuring he'd
better stick to neutral ground.


"Thanks, Jim," Blair replied quietly, sitting down to their meal. By
mutual, if unspoken agreement, all they spoke of were their
respective days at work. After the meal was done, and the dishes
finished, Blair took Jim's hand and led him into the living room, seating
Jim on one couch, while Blair sat on the other.


Jim squirmed on the couch--he didn't want to talk about this, but knew
that if he wanted to keep Blair, to have this sweet man
continue to be in his life, he'd have to.


Blair reached over, placing his hand on Jim's knee. "Jim, I know
how much you hate talking about this sort of thing, but I think,
no I know we need to. It really hurt me when I realized you'd
slept with Michelle, Jim. I mean, I know we didn't really discuss it
after we started...sleeping together, what the limits of our
relationship would be. If we'd see other people. I made some
assumptions that I guess I shouldn't have made."


Unsure what he'd find, Jim risked looking at Blair, and saw only
concern and compassion coming from the younger man. "Blair, I'm
sorry, I...it's just...I was scared, suddenly. I've never been in a relationship
with a guy before. You were right yesterday--part
of what happened with Michelle was...trying to prove, at least to myself,
that I could still...that I wasn't...gay. Can you forgive me?" Jim finished
quietly. He wanted to tell Blair that he did
love him, but without being sure how the younger man felt, Jim
couldn't risk his emotional being that way.


Blair took one of Jim's hands in both of his, and caught Jim's
eye, making sure he had the other man's attention. "Yes, Jim, I
do forgive you, and, believe it or not, I do understand what
you're going through. When I first discovered I enjoyed having
sex with men, it threw me for a loop. Naomi had raised me to be
tolerant of everyone, man, accept them as they are, no matter
what may be different about them. But when I discovered one of
those "differences" in myself, well, it was...difficult. I
adjusted, Jim, and you can too. It'll just take some time, is
all," Blair said, smiling at his lover. "Jim, we have to make
some decisions about this relationship. Look, I want us to be
monogamous, man. I can't handle having you screw around on me.
That may sound like an ultimatum, and while I don't mean it to
be, it's how I feel about it, Jim."


Jim looked at Blair again, and he thought about how he'd feel if
Blair had screwed around on him. "You're right, Blair. I wasn't
thinking, I mean, I can imagine how I'd react, how I'd feel if
the situation were reversed. And it doesn't sound like an
ultimatum, Blair, and, I realize now, that I...don't want to see
other people. Just you." he answered quietly.


Blair decided to risk himself just a little more this night, to
get the truth out. "Jim, there's something else. I love you. I
understand if you don't feel that way about me, but--"


Jim smiled, and whispered, "I love you, too, Blair," before
pulling Blair into his lap for a kiss. A long, love filled kiss.
As Jim started to undo his lover's shirt, Blair stopped him, and
pulled away from their kiss. "Jim, it's gonna take me awhile
before I can trust you again, I'm sorry, but I can't make love
with you right now. I'll still sleep with you if you want me to,
but I just can't..." Blair trailed off, trying not to let the
tears in his eyes fall.


Looking into his lover's beautiful blue eyes, it finally hit Jim
just how much he'd hurt Blair, how deeply the pain went for the
younger man. Trust had always been an issue for Blair, and Jim
had violated it in the worst way possible. Jim gently kissed
Blair on the forehead, "I understand, Baby. If it takes me the
rest of my days on this earth, I'll make it up to you. I love
you. And, yes, I still want you with me at night. I'd get lonely
without you," Jim finished, watching his lover.


"Well, I don't think it will take you quite that long, Jim, but
it will take a little while. I'd get lonely if I wasn't beside
you. Will you hold me for a bit, Jim?" Blair asked, cuddling
closer to his lover.


"For as long as you want me to, Blair," Jim replied, wrapping his arms
around the most precious person in his life.



End Guppy tales III : angling