Fallen Angels

Chapter Fifty-three - Angel Memories

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Enzeru returned the kiss, his chest still heaving from his sobs. He settled down against Yohji and ran his hands through the silky blonde locks, reveling in the taste of his lover. He shifted so they were laying their sides so as to not crush his lover with his weight and pulled him closer, not wanting to let go. He inhaled deeply the scent of his lover and their lovemaking and nuzzled his neck. "Do you want to go home now? Back to the flower shop?"

"Deiji wants us to stay so that Seto can meet you and thank you for taking care of Noa. Let's sleep here and go home in the morning," Yohji told him quietly yawning. "He asked me while you were finishing with Noa and I didn't get a chance to tell you."

Enzeru nodded and stood, still inside his lover and keeping his legs wrapped tightly around his waist. He walked to the bed and kneeled down, laying Yohji softly on the sheets as he crawled in beside him. /Sleep then, I will be here when you wake./

He wrapped his arms around his blonde lover and sighed against his hair, listening to his breathing as he also started to fall asleep again. He wondered for a moment why he was still weak enough that he needed sleep even after feeding so much before his breathing evened out and he joined Yohji in slumber.

Enzeru was still confused, but felt comfortable in the fact that his lover knew what was going on between them even though he himself did not fully understand it. This was what he had wanted as tenshi, what had made him long for mortality and human emotions. He just had not known the full intensity of the emotions and they took him by surprise.

He watched his lover sleep and kissed his forehead gently, then got up from the bed and dressed in his leather pants. He walked to the door and looked back to Yohji with a smile. /I will be back, love, I just need to be alone to think./

He closed the door behind him softly and walked down the hallway to the stairs on bare feet. He passed the rooms of the others and sensed their dreams, the images filling his mind in brief flashes as he passed. He made no sound as he moved, the stairs not even creaking under his weight. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he stopped, resting his hand on the doorframe, then started towards the back of the house.

He remembered Noa saying something about how swings always made him feel better, and Enzu had spotted a swing set behind the mansion as he and Enzeru flew over so he could heal Noa. He smiled as he thought of the little green haired boy. Enzeru liked him, liked him a lot, and hoped to be around to see the child grow up.

He quietly walked through the house and phased through the locked door, heading towards the little playground. He sat on one of the swings and gently rocked backed and forth, smiling at the simple pleasure it brought him. His mind wandered to other pleasures he enjoyed. He thought of all his human lovers, and the one vampire, Dee. They had had fun together, but none of them gave him the pleasure Yohji did.

He furrowed his brow and looked down at the ground, hugging the chains of the swing close to him. He thought of his first human lover, of when he was tenshi. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as the memory of what had him Exiled returned. He didn't even remember the boy's name, but he remembered the feel of his hands, his lips, his tongue. He remembered how he had promised to wait for Enzeru no matter where he went, even if he did not return for years.

They had met several times before Gabriel had confronted Enzeru about the human. Gabriel had not told him that Zennou had known, only reminded him of the consequences of the pleasures of the flesh. Enzeru had not cared, he was so intoxicated by the feeling of hot, sweaty flesh on flesh, the pleasure and the pain of joining that he had ignored him and returned to his lover the next night.

What he had seen when he appeared in his lover's room, had not affected him the way it would have now. The boy had been bled to death, the mark blazoned on his forehead with a tenshi ki weapon, a warning only Enzeru could see. He had sat beside his lover's body for many hours, until the sun rose, just touching his skin lightly, taking perverse pleasure in the cold lifeless skin. He felt then the first twinges of something in his chest, something he did not understand, but was curious to know more.

That night, he found and seduced another human, this one was wild and passionate where as his first was soft and tender. He felt that night ecstasy, as he never had before. He grew even more curious as to the stirrings in his chest, what the humans called his heart he supposed, if he had one. He began to find new humans to play with, learning from each what new pleasures they could teach him.

Some he watched, others he took for himself, but always returned to the same ones eventually. As time went on, he found them dead, one by one, the mark on their foreheads as his first. He confronted Gabriel, who at the time seemed to be acting odd, but Enzeru realized now that he had been jealous.

The thought made a small smile curve his lips as he stood from the swing and walked around the yard, liking the way the damp grass felt under his feet. Gabriel had told him to stop, that Zennou was suspicious, that anything he needed, Gabriel could give him.

"Can you show me love, Gabriel? Can you show me what it is like to wake in the morning and know that the one you hold has the same emotions for you? Can you tell me what it feels like to know that you don't have to go out and take the life of a child, getting a hard on from the taste of its blood? Can you tell me how those things feel, Gabriel?" His words echoed through his head and the way Gabriel's eyes had turned almost red at them. Enzeru had smirked, taking to the air, his then white wings glistening in the light as his bright green eyes flickered with his first emotion. Regret.

His mind skipped forward to his last lover before he had become mortal. He had been careless, his body burning with desire as he saw the young man shooting up in an alley. He had been beautiful despite the haggard clothing and dirty hair. The human had eyes the color of the sunset, almost a pinkish color. He had landed in front of the youth as he dropped the needle, looking up at Enzeru with those intoxicating eyes.

They had taken each other there in the alley, Enzeru revealing in the cries of pleasure from the drugged boy. He had not noticed the presence of the other tenshi as they had arrived to take the boy, as it was his time. The mark on the boy's forehead blazed to life with a purplish glow and Enzeru had stopped, right at his peak as he noticed it. He had turned, the boy still crying out in his arms to face two of his 'brothers', Gabriel and Raphael. Gabriel had lunged forward, grabbing the boy roughly from Enzeru's arms, snapping his neck and tearing at the flesh with his teeth as he watched Enzeru with a look akin to anger and jealousy. Raphael only stood against the wall on the other side of the alley, his arms crossed over his broad and bare chest, watching.

Enzeru had only stood there, regretful that his playmate had been taken away, but felt nothing more. Raphael nodded as Gabriel dropped the boy to the ground and they both stalked forward, over powering Enzeru as he struggled with them to the ground beside the boy.

Raphael had held his wings above his head in a tight grip as Gabriel had angrily whispered in his ear, baring his teeth and tearing into Enzeru's neck as he took him. Raphael had watched with disinterest, no disgust was more like it. Human actions disgusted him, Enzeru remembered. He had been on many 'missions' so to speak with Raphael. He was the perfect tenshi, emotionless, heartless, and disgusted by humans and their ways.

The rape had been brutal by human standards, but Enzeru did not know then, as he still did not fully understand now, the difference between pain and pleasure. He had enjoyed every moment of the strong form above him, sliding against his hot skin, thrusting into his awakening body.

He had cried out, his tenshi voice silent to the human world, but ringing through the minds of the tenshi like music. Raphael had released him, grunting in disgust as his body reached fulfillment and Gabriel gloated above him.

"I told you Enzeru, I can give you anything the humans can."

They had taken Enzeru to Zennou. The 'big boss' of the tenshi, Enzeru thought in a mocking tone and had to laugh. He had been thrown at Zennou's feet, the evidence of his pleasure still wet on his bare stomach. Zennou had looked him over as he heard what Gabriel and Raphael had to say. His judgment had been made quickly. Enzeru had not cared, it meant that he could taste the pleasures of mortality without the cruel life of the tenshi. Zennou had grinned then, stopping the tenshi as they dragged the weak Enzeru away to begin the punishment.

"One last thing, tenshi. I hear your thoughts, I know you do not like to take the blood of mortals, instead prefer to taste their sweat as you fill them. I know all the things you have done, Enzeru. I have seen them all. Do not think for a moment that I did not know!" he slammed his fist down on his thigh, the sound reverberating hollowly through his chamber. "As further punishment, until you get over your little obsession, you must live off the blood of the innocent as you did as tenshi. If you take an innocent's life, you will return to us, your memories will be ripped from your mind and you will become one of your brother's fully again." He sat back and smirked, making a small gesture with his hand as Raphael and Gabriel dragged Enzeru away.

Enzeru vaguely remembered the marking of his back. His wings twitched at the memory. Zennou had fed from him, taking his immortality buy sucking it from his veins with his 'magic', and then they had used the blood to tattoo and stain him. He closed his eyes at the memory, running a hand lightly over the tip of one wing.

It had felt like they were ripping him apart as the white had faded to gray, then changed to black. The pain had been excruciating, causing him to scream out with it. Then they had let him fall, dropping him from heaven as mortal to fall to the earth, already half-dead and still bleeding and naked from the marking and rape.

But then Gabriel had appeared. He had cut his own wrist, offering his blood to Enzeru, whispering to him that he would help him grow stronger, help him get over his little 'addiction'. He had fed until Gabriel was weak from it and was not there when Gabriel returned with an innocent for him to take. Enzeru had wandered, for how long he did not know, naked and hunting. He had finally found a man with lots of money in his pockets stole his clothes and went shopping for what he had now. He had taken lovers in that time, done many drugs and took in everything he could of human pleasures as Gabriel followed him.

He was no longer sure of how long he had wandered after regaining his strength and feeding off his lovers little by little, he had no real concept of time. Then one night, he had seen the 'Saiyan's Tale', and everything had changed. He smiled thinking about the night he had met Yohji.

The instant he had seen him, he knew he had to have the beautiful blonde. He felt drawn to him, as he had no other, felt a tug deep within him. The feeling piqued his curiosity as well as his desire. Yohji had shown him, in the few days they were together, what he did not learn in his entire mortality. How to love, what it felt like to be with a child and not crave his blood, to wake up in your lover's arms and know that they shared and understood the intensity of your feelings, even if you did not.

Enzeru smiled again and made his way back to the house. He peeked his senses and began to phase through the door, only to stop as he walked into it. He stood there a moment, stunned, his nose pressed against the wooden door as he heard laughter like the tinkling of soft bells behind him. Enzeru turned and growled at Gabriel as the tenshi laughed. He stalked forward and a bit louder than he had intended, growled in the tenshi's language. "What the hell is going on, Gabriel? Why can I not go through the door?"

The white tenshi held his sides in mocking laughter. "Don't you know dear brother?" He sneered, his expression abruptly changing to anger. "There is only one thing that can over power Zennou."

"What is it! Why do I suddenly feel so odd? Why can I not go through the door!" He grabbed Gabriel's shoulders and shoved him backwards. Gabriel floated lightly in the air and growled.

"Do not touch me, human!" He spat. "You are now as filthy as they are. You wanted to be human so badly you turned your back on your God, Enzeru. Do not think that will go unpunished? Take a look in the mirror when you go back to your lover. You will see why you are loosing your powers."

Enzeru flapped his wings and was in the air in front of Gabriel upon hearing those words. "What do you mean? Am I becoming human?" The last was whispered in awe, mostly to himself. He looked up at the tenshi's snort of disgust.

"So you finally understand. Zennou is not the only God, Enzeru; he is just the one we serve. There are powers above him, powers that have for some reason or another been guiding you away from us. You have found what you are looking for and the price will be your powers. You healed that little boy with no thought of taking his blood. Did you not ache to taste that heart as you griped it, tenshi?" Gabriel was now leaning forward to whisper in Enzeru's ear. "Did the hunt of those marked men not make your blood boil and ache for the sweet taste of his innocence?"

Enzeru growled and pushed him away. "What do you mean? Look at my forehead?" His hand moved up to run his fingertips lightly across the skin, suddenly afraid of what he already knew.

"You let them all die, Enzeru, with no thought or remorse, after you were mortal. You took those men's lives even though it could have been done another way. You killed them all..." Gabriel's voice had become taunting.

"SHUT UP!!" Enzeru screamed and drew his scythe. He lunged forward and slashed down in a sideways arc. He heard Gabriel laugh again, now behind him.

"You grow slow and weak, Enzeru. You disgust me." As Enzeru turned, Gabriel vanished, leaving him alone. He fell to the ground heavily, griping his scythe in a death grip. He went to his knees and bent over, breathing heavily at the realization that Gabriel was right. He had let them all die; he had even enjoyed the deaths of those marked. He shook his head. "I cannot deny my instincts, they are still tenshi. I cannot deny who I am... What I am..." He felt a sob retch up from his throat as he realized that he didn't know what he was anymore.

After the sun had begun to rise and the birds to sing, signaling the beginning of the new day, Enzeru rose, dissolving his scythe as he heard voices coming from the house. The servants were awake and going about their business. He walked slowly to the door, trying one more time in vain to phase through it. He got his fingertips through before he could go no further. Feeling defeated, he knocked on the door.

Enzeru made his way quietly through the now bustling house to the room he shared with Yohji. He tried one more time, taking a deep breath and closed his eyes as he stepped forward, only to be stopped by the wood of the door. He shook his head and turned the knob, happy to see his lover still asleep. He walked on shaky legs to the bathroom, his wings trembling behind him.

He walked into the bathroom and decided to see what other powers he was loosing. He looked at the shower door and it sung back with a clang, then back again to shut with a metallic click. He nodded in satisfaction and stretched out his mind, sensing the other people in the house, their thoughts wading through his mind like many radios on different frequencies. He hesitantly walked to the mirror and lifted his hair, touching his forehead lightly with his fingertips.

Yohji woke with a start hearing the clang of the shower door in their en-suite bathroom. He rolled over and realized that the bed behind him was cold where his lover should have been. He slid out of bed and followed the sounds he could hear could hear coming from the bathroom. He pushed open the door to see his lover holding his bangs up and looking intently at his forehead.

"Enzu-koi, are you alright? How long have you been awake?" he asked walking into the room and wrapping his arms around his lover feeling the chilled skin. "Why are you so cold?"

Enzeru dropped his hand and turned in his lover's arms, a smile crossing his face, a fake smile. He didn't want to worry Yohji. He kissed him softly on the lips and hugged him tightly, resting his forehead on the blonde's shoulder.

"I am fine, love. Not too long. I was outside watching the sun rise is all." He knew it was a lie, the first lie he had ever told and he couldn't stop the tears that ran down his cheeks.

His wings wrapped around them and he lifted Yohji in his arms, needing to not only distract his lover, but to get his own mind off what Gabriel had said. If what he had been told was true, their time together was limited, his 'brothers' would be coming for him soon enough.

Yohji wasn't blind to the tears. And he'd told more than one off-white lie in his time to spare others to recognize when one was being told to him. And he knew the times he told them that he'd done so because he'd needed the time or the distance from the truth himself. So didn't push or question. Simply wrapped his arms around his lover's neck and his legs around his waist as he was lifted and kissed his dark angel deeply.

"It must have been a beautiful sunrise to make an angel cry, love," he murmured drying the tears away with one hand. "I made you a promise last night," he added as he felt them sink down onto the bed.

He ran his hands into his lover's hair holding his head as he kissed him again begging entry into the warm mouth. He licked at the soft lower lip and slid his hands down to caress through the feathers of the dark wings.

Enzeru smiled and nodded, rolling them over so Yohji was on top and took his lips in a deep kiss. /Help me forget, make love to me again./ He wasn't sure if his lover heard his silent plea, but tried anyhow since his voice had failed him. He ran his hands through the golden silk of Yohji's hair and arched his body into him, wanting to feel their naked skin slide against each other, feel the heat from Yohji's body. He sobbed into the kiss as Gabriel's words returned to his mind and couldn't stop the hand that covered his forehead as he turned away, burying his face in Yohji's neck.

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End Chapter Fifty-three