Stolen Heaven
part 15

Walk with me let me dream of one shining moment with you
Falling into your open arms and calling your name...

No regrets, no turning back
Oh throw caution to the wind
My whole life pales beside the look in your eyes tonight.
                --The Shroud, "Tonight"

        After a hurried, fruitless search, Philip had to concede that he could 
find no match for any spell similar to what he thought the one used on Derek 
might be. The symbols Alex had copied couldn't be translated as any recognizable 
word, but if one similar symbol was substituted for another, the word could 
become "wing", lending a little more weight to their suspicion of Arkadi's 
plans.
        Alex and Nick did not fare any better, completely unable to pick up 
Arkadi's trail. Wherever he had gone, he was paying everything by cash and using 
private transportation instead of any commercial carriers.
        Later, as Nick and Philip sat together in the library, Philip sighed, 
"Maybe he's gone back ta Qumran..."
        Nick sat up and looked at his friend. "That's it!" he said excitedly. 
"He's probably looking for any scraps of that scroll, to see if he can complete 
the spell..."
        "And we can't leave t'stop 'im with Derek still out of it," Philip 
whispered. "With Alex watchin' him now, an' Frank back on th' mainland tryin' 
t'get somethin' out of Arkadi's goon...We've got t'be here when Derek wakes 
up..."
        "I'll call the London House and see if they can send someone to Qumran 
to keep an eye out for him," Nick said, standing and walking to the phone.
        By the end of what had become a fairly long phone call, Philip was 
asleep in his chair. Nick smiled, seeing how gentle and serene Philip always 
looked when he slept. He tiptoed back to the chair and gently stroked Philip's 
cheek, smiling as his friend leaned into the caress. He moved to stroke Philip's 
dark hair, and his friend sighed softly. _Oh god..._ Nick thought, suddenly 
realizing what he was doing. _He's gonna kill me for taking advantage of him 
like this..._
        And then Philip shifted in the chair and Nick caught a glimpse of the 
beginning of an erection. _Aw hell, Philip, how am I supposed to ignore that..._ 
Almost unconsciously, he strengthened his caress, sliding his fingers down to 
cup Philip's cheek and gently stroke his thumb over the parted lips. When Philip 
moaned softly and mouthed his thumb, Nick knew he was lost.
        He kneeled down before Philip, continuing the gentle caress until Philip 
was nibbling on his thumb in his sleep. Then he drew closer and carefully 
extricated his thumb, then leaned in and kissed Philip. For a moment, Nick could 
feel Philip open to him, welcoming the kiss eagerly, allowing his tongue to 
probe tenderly between soft lips -- and then the stormy eyes shot open and 
Philip pulled back, gasping in near terror. "No! Stop it--"
        Instantly, Nick backed off, making himself look as unthreatening as 
possible. "Whoa -- easy, Philip, it's just me, Nick. Calm down," he said softly, 
relieved when he saw reason return to Philip's eyes. "It's okay..."
        "Oh, God, Nick...y'scared me -- all I could think was tha' he had me 
again -- I'm sorry..." Philip said shakily.
        Nick reached out slowly to lay a hand on Philip's chest, feeling his 
heart thumping hard. "Easy, Philip, easy," he soothed, noticing that despite the 
sudden fright, Philip's erection had not subsided completely.
        Philip saw where Nick's gaze fell and blushed furiously as his body 
began to recover from the fright and the heat he could feel from Nick's hand 
travelled straight to his disobedient loins. "Nick, I...oh God help me, I want 
t'feel ya so bad -- Don' want t'remember his hands on me..."
        "You know I'll do anything you want me to," Nick said softly, moving his 
hand to cup Philip's chin and turn his face to meet his gaze. "And I want to be 
with you, too..."
        "Nick, I can't..." Philip whispered unhappily, although he could feel 
his resolve crumbling as Nick continued to hold his gaze. "I..."
        "Come upstairs, Philip. Let me touch you -- kiss you all over...I want 
to make it so that the only thing you remember is *my* hands on you," Nick 
whispered softly. He saw the instant Philip's body made the decision for him, 
his mouth opening in a quiet gasp and his eyes going wide as the need won over 
his doubts. Philip nodded and stood, heading wordlessly for his room with Nick 
right behind him.
        Nick noticed Philip's slight hesitation when they got to his room, saw 
him swallow hard and whisper something that Nick assumed had to be a prayer for 
forgiveness. However, less than a second later, they continued into the room and 
Nick smiled as Philip locked the door behind them.
        "Oh God..." Philip whispered, leaning back against the door. For a 
moment, Nick was worried that the subconscious fears he knew *had* to be there 
had gotten the better of Philip, and he knew he was quite willing to just lie in 
the bed with him and hold him all day if that was what Philip wanted.
        "It's okay, Philip," Nick said softly. "If you don't want to, I'm not 
going to get angry or upset -- I'm certainly *not* going to force you to do 
something you don't want to do!" He held out his hand, smiling when Philip 
reached out and grasped it. "And I'm going to make sure I don't hurt you in any 
way -- I'm sure you're still in pain...I'll do whatever you want me to do, 
Philip. You know I love you..."
        "I know, Nick. 'm jus' a little...scared," Philip answered shakily.
        "Come here," Nick coaxed, gently pulling him towards the bed. "We'll 
just lie here and I'll hold you for a bit, how's that?" He backed slowly towards 
the bed, relieved when Philip didn't pull back but instead joined him readily.
        Once on the bed, Nick could feel Philip slowly settling into the 
embrace, his body relaxing bit by bit. "Y'know," Nick murmured in his ear, 
"there's nothing at all wrong with being nervous even though you know you're 
safe."
        "I know," Philip answered softly, trying to keep his voice steady, "It's 
jus' tha'...Oh God, Nick, I dunno what I want anymore...I don't want ta sin, but 
I need t'feel you; I don' want to feel his hands on me again but I do ev'ry time 
I close my eyes...I jus' don' want t'be scared anymore..."
        "Well, forcing yourself to do something you don't really want to or 
aren't ready to isn't the way to do it," Nick answered.
        "Tha's part of th' problem," Philip whispered with a slight smile, "it 
*isn'* somethin' I don't really want...'m too weak t'be a priest..."
        Philip started nuzzling against Nick, who swallowed hard as he felt the 
nuzzling beginning to turn into gentle kisses. _God, I hope I'm not going to 
have any trouble stopping if he decides he's not ready for this,_ he thought as 
he turned and kissed Philip gently. Slowly, carefully, he ran the tip of his 
tongue over Philip's soft lips then probed gently between them, sighing as 
Philip's lips parted, allowing the tender invasion.
        He kept the kiss gentle, allowing Philip to proceed at his own pace. The 
last thing he wanted to do was make his friend think or feel that he was being 
forced to do something...However, when he felt how hard Philip was becoming and 
realized that Philip's tongue was practically battling his, he relaxed some of 
his control and just let things happen. Hands tangled as they tried to strip 
each other without breaking the kiss, and finally they had to break off when 
Philip began laughing. Nick smiled down at Philip, relief flooding him as he saw 
the look in his eyes. At least for the moment, Philip was free of both the 
demons he tortured himself with and the ones Arkadi had sent to join them.
        "Nick," Philip panted, "I want you..."
        "Yeah," Nick said, equally breathlessly. "Let's get these clothes off!"
        Nick stripped quickly, then turned his attention to Philip. Concerned 
that the bandages over his wounds might get caught, he helped Philip remove his 
shirt, raining kisses over his shoulders and the back of his neck. He checked 
the bandages, and when he was sure they were secure and that the wounds hadn't 
begun bleeding or oozing, he turned his attention to Philip's trousers. He eased 
those off, trying not to allow the erection straining at Philip's briefs to 
distract him; and let them drop onto the floor without caring how they fell, 
chuckling slightly as he heard change fall out of the pockets. "Sorry..."
        "We'll worry 'bout it later, Nick," Philip breathed in his ear, grabbing 
one of his hands and pressing it against his hard cock. "There's more importn't 
things..."
        "God, Philip, you don't know how much I've missed this," Nick murmured 
as he slid the hand beneath the waistband of Philip's briefs and gently stroked 
up and down his length.
        Philip's only answer was a low moan as he shifted on the bed and lay 
back, spreading his legs to allow Nick better access. Very carefully, Nick 
tugged off his shorts and sighed as his cock sprang free. Philip moaned again, 
then gasped in surprise as he felt Nick gently kiss his cock. "What're y'doing?" 
he asked, looking up enough to see Nick kneeling over him on the bed, then 
falling back again as Nick's tongue laved the underside of his organ. "Oh 
no...Oh Nick..." he moaned as Nick's mouth worked down to his balls where he 
alternated between bathing the sac with his tongue and ever-so-gently nibbling 
at Philip's inner thighs. "Y'r such a tease, Nick Boyle," he said -- when he 
could remember how to speak.
        Nick looked up with a twinkle in his eye, and said, "I could stop, if 
you'd like..."
        "Don't ya dare stop now..."
        "That's what I thought," Nick purred, and then he took the straining 
organ in his mouth, bathing it with his tongue and teasing the opening 
mercilessly before deep-throating it. The moans and groans coming from Philip 
were driving him mad, but he was determined to take care of his friend first 
before dealing with any selfish need for his own release.
        Philip groaned as the gentle but insistent sucking sent pleasure 
spiralling through his entire body, feeling the inevitable coiling of sensation 
in his belly as orgasm neared. He arched back into the pillows and barely 
managed to choke back a scream as suddenly he exploded in pleasure, his balls 
emptying down Nick's throat almost faster than his friend could swallow.
        As he lay panting, trying to keep his head from swimming, he felt Nick 
carefully release his softening cock and lick up the drops of cum that had 
spilled. Then his friend was lying down on the bed next to him and gently 
nuzzling him. He turned his head and looked at Nick, then rolled onto his side 
to embrace him as Nick kissed him gently.
        He smiled slightly into the kiss, and slowly trailed a hand down Nick's 
side; feeling lean, powerful muscles shiver at the teasing touch. And then Nick 
groaned as the questing hand closed around his aching cock.
        "Oh...God -- Philip!" he managed to gasp, giving himself over to the 
sensations.
        Philip could tell from Nick's moans that he was close, but didn't want 
things to be over almost before they had begun. "Hold on a minute, Nick," he 
whispered apologetically, releasing the straining organ again and propping 
himself up to look around the room. "Be back in jus' a second," he promised, 
rolling out of bed and heading for the bathroom before Nick could protest.
        "What are you doing?" Nick asked as Philip returned with a small bottle 
of hand lotion. "I don't think--"
        Philip kissed him and climbed back into bed, then whispered, "Don' 
worry, it's not wha' you're thinkin'." He poured a small amount of the lotion 
into his hand then put the bottle aside, and gently coated Nick's cock, noticing 
the delicious shudder that ran through his lover as he did so. Then he lay down 
and snuggled as close to Nick as possible, and closed his thighs around the 
straining organ, smiling at the almost animal groan from Nick as he did so.
        "OoooohhGod," Nick moaned, barely able to think as Philip embraced him 
and encouraged him to thrust into the tightness. Then they were kissing, Nick's 
tongue plundering his mouth as they established a rhythm, Philip's hands closing 
on his muscular buttocks and pulling him as close as possible. Suddenly Nick was 
gasping and thrusting hard between his legs, and Philip could feel the flood of 
hot liquid as Nick came, realizing too late that he should have gotten a towel 
while he was in the bathroom.
        When the tremors finally faded, Nick hugged Philip fiercely, the two of 
them staying like that as he caught his breath. Philip welcomed the hug, feeling 
safe and loved, and allowed himself to float with the afterglow. The wet spot on 
the blanket could wait.
        "I love you, Philip, you know that," Nick whispered against his neck as 
they finally moved to settle into a looser embrace, "No matter what happens, I 
love you."
        "An' I love you, too, Nick," Philip murmured, feeling too lazy to do 
more than snuggle against his friend and lover.
        For a long time they lay like that, Nick actually falling into a light 
doze as Philip's hands gently rubbed his back. After a while, something in the 
feel of Philip's touch filtered through, and he woke up. Looking up at Philip, 
Nick realized that the quiet time had allowed him to once again think about the 
recent events -- and about what they had just done. The comfortable haziness 
cleared rapidly from his mind, and a chill began to set in.
        "Philip?" he asked softly, trying to meet his friend's gaze. The stormy 
eyes darted away before he could read their expression.
        "Nick," Philip answered, "I'm sorry...I think I've got t' go away for a 
while -- need t'think this over an' figure out what t'do with my life." He 
smiled slightly and added, "What I'm doin' right now isn' workin'..."
        Nick's heart plummeted, and he had to swallow hard before he could 
speak. "You're going back to the Church again," he said, trying to keep the hurt 
out of his voice and knowing he had failed. "Damn it, Philip, we need you -- *I* 
need you. You're going to go back there and just hide away and bury yourself in 
priestly duties until you've forgotten about how you feel..." He knew he sounded 
angry, but he couldn't stop it at this point.
        Philip shook his head, realizing Nick had misunderstood him. "No, Nick, 
I'm not gonna do tha' -- I promise! What I said earlier -- 'bout me bein' too 
weak t'be a priest -- I wasn' lyin'. I don' think I can keep bein' a priest with 
th' way I feel...I just need a little bit of time t'be sure, but in all 
conscience, I can't stay in th' priesthood feelin' the way I do..."
        Nick heard the quiver in his voice, realized that Philip was scared at 
the thought of leaving the way of life he had spent nearly two decades in. 
_Can't blame him one bit!_ he thought, sympathetically, although in the back of 
his mind, he knew he was cheering the news. "You really mean it?" he asked, 
suddenly unsure if he was being selfish, or if Philip really was making the 
decision for himself.
        "Yeah, I think I am," Philip answered, feeling a sudden flood of relief 
he hadn't expected to.
        "Will you stay with us at least until Derek's okay?" Nick asked 
suddenly, realizing that if things did go wrong and Philip decided to hide away 
in the Church again, Derek wouldn't have a chance to talk to him about it.
        "Yeah, I'll do tha' -- wouldn' be fair t'him to run out on him now..."
        "Good..." Nick whispered, hugging Philip close and once again rubbing 
his back. They settled back down to get some real rest, although he could feel 
the lingering tenseness in Philip's body. After a long while, though, they 
finally both drifted off.
                                   --==**==--
To be continued in part 16

Poltergeist: The Legacy is (c) 1998 MGM/UA and Trilogy Entertainment. This story 
is not intended to infringe on these copyrights. Stolen Heaven is (c) 1998 
Penemuel