Title: Control Issues Author: Penemuel Archive: Sure, just let me know where if other than list archive Part: 1/? Pairing: Josh Lyman/Sam Seaborn, Leo McGarry/John Hoynes, implied Leo McGarry/Jed Bartlet Rating: NC-17 Warnings: None Yet Notes: Mild spoilers for "In the Shadow of Two Gunmen" Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just playing with them for a while and will give them back when done. They might be a little sticky, though. Control Issues by Penemuel Part 1 "Josh? You got a minute?" I asked, leaning into the doorway of his office for a moment. We'd just gotten out of the senior staff meeting, and I got separated from Josh as some other staffers interrupted me with questions on a couple of memos. So, he got to his office and actually had time to sit down at his desk before I caught up with him. "Yeah, Sam, what's up?" he answered, looking up at me with a slightly bewildered smile. "And where did all of this *work* come from?" "Donna, probably," I answered his second question. The first could wait until after I closed the door behind me... "Uh oh -- it's serious?" he asked, catching the click as I locked the door. "I don't know yet... Is Leo okay?" I asked, sitting in the one extra chair that wasn't stacked with books and files. "He did seem a little distracted, now that you mention it," Josh mused. "I thought he seemed a little uncomfortable -- maybe he's caught that cold that's going around..." Well, actually I didn't think that, but I had a really hard time imagining that the other thing I thought might be true... "Are you worried about him?" I shook my head, although I wasn't really sure I wasn't worried -- we all cared a lot for Leo, and I didn't want him having to deal with something on his own if it was something we could help him with. "I -- uh -- well, I don't know, really." "I've got to discuss a thing with him, so I could ask..." I shook my head again and said, "Maybe you shouldn't ask outright, just watch him closely for a bit -- you know how he gets sometimes." Josh nodded, and I knew we were both thinking about what happened earlier that year, when they were hounding him about his drug rehab and we tried to help in our own unique, misguided way... "Yeah, I know how he gets. And I know how he's gonna get if I can't find the file in this mess before we talk..." I stood up again and started lifting up stacks of books, then asked, "So, what am I looking for, anyway?" "Uh...It's red," Josh answered helpfully. "Red. Well, at least it'll stand out, since I don't know what name to look for..." "Sam, what's wrong?" he asked, looking up at me as I bitched. "I dunno -- I--" Oh, that was good. Articulate, informative... Quite a way with words. Spit it out, Sam... "Yes I do -- and it's not something we can fix without a making things worse for both of us before they get better..." "That doesn't sound good..." Josh said, stopping his search and looking up at me. "Please, tell me..." I took a deep breath and sighed, then very quietly said, "I nearly lost you, and I'm tired of having to hide 'us' from everyone. Not that we're really hiding it from some of them very well..." I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat, and continued, "I don't want something to happen and our last time together be pretending that we aren't together..." "Oh, Sam," he said gently. He reached out and stroked my cheek, and the expression on his face tugged at my heart. "I know it's a pain in the ass -- it bugs the hell out of me, too, but you know--" "Yeah, I know," I answered, nodding. "Doesn't keep it from getting to me sometimes... Did you know that on National Coming Out Day, an eighteen- year-old high school student in Haverford, Pennsylvania put up a poster designating a later date as a day to beat up gays? He was suspended, but his suspension is now over and he's back at that school..." Josh frowned and shook his head. "No, I didn't..." "And that's just the tip of the iceberg -- I've been keeping a file," I admitted uncomfortably. "Why do you do that to yourself, Sam?" he asked, exasperation colouring his tone. I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing really came out. Instead, he said, "Yeah, I know, research. You're trying to build an argument, or a defense, or something..." He stroked my cheek again, then returned to his search for the red whatever-file. "You're going to keep making yourself upset..." "I know..." I sighed and grabbed his hand, then asked, "Josh, if it got out and things went bad, what would you do? I know you actually like politics, and I don't want to ruin your career..." "What? Sam, what are you talking about? I love you, you silly thing, and after what happened recently, I can truthfully say you are more important to me than this job. If everything went bad, I'd stick with *you*." I could feel tears burning in my eyes and threatening to spill over as he said that. "You're too good to me..." I whispered, smiling even as a tear escaped and splashed on the cover of the file I was leaning on. The red file I was leaning on. "Oh -- here it is!" He reached up to my face again and gently wiped my tears away, and I wished he could kiss them away like he had when I visited him the first time in his apartment after the shooting... "I love you, Sam," he murmured, taking the file from me and flipping through it for a moment. "And not just because you found the file, either, you know." "That's good, 'cause I thought it was for a couple of other reasons, actually..." "And I'll tell you all of them tonight when we're safely at your place..." I knew I was grinning like a fool again -- he always makes me feel so good. "But for now, you have to have your meeting with Leo, and I have people to call and things to do, yeah, I know. Remember, keep an eye on Leo, okay?" "Yeah." --==**==-- "You wanted me to wait after the meeting, Mr. President?" Y'know, it still feels funny calling him that in private meetings, but I'm never sure if it's going to be work or otherwise until he starts talking about whatever it is... God, I've got aches in places I really wish I didn't, and I'm only going on three hours of sleep -- I have to keep moving or I'm either going to fall asleep or freeze up completely! "Yeah, Leo, shut the door, sit down, and just relax for a minute, I need some advice." Okay, I can do most of that... door's shut and --ouch-- okay, I'll stand. I looked over at him and he frowned again. Damn it, did Hoynes do this to make trouble for us? I'll pace. "Damn it, Leo, will you just sit *down*?" "I'd rather not, Sir." "You know, I hear bran's good for that kind of thing..." "Jed..." "I could have Abbey give you something--" "Jed!" If he's *trying* to drive me crazy, it's working... "Just checking...Now sit. Please. You're making me dizzy." "How would you know?" Ah -- that one got him. He looked up at me over his glasses and stopped short for a full second. "I'm sorry -- what do you need?" "It's about Sam and Josh..." "What's wrong? They're being discreet..." "A hell of a lot more discreet than we were at that age," he answered, and I had to smile at that. Boy, is he right about that one... "So what's the problem?" "Sam's starting to crusade." Ah. "Well, actually, that's work. He was working on the military thing, which, by the way, got a lot more complicated a couple of months back..." If we were going to discuss this, I'd sit down. Carefully... And try damned hard not to grimace. "What happened a couple of months back?" the President asked. I thought for sure he knew, but maybe that's something Sam was sitting on until he had it all put together... "There was an incident at the SGC -- the thing right before the treaty signing," I explained, knowing that now the President was going to yell at me for Sam and Josh being included in that in the first place... "Why the *hell* did you have me bring them, anyway?" he asked, scowling at me fiercely. "Because, they would have kept poking around until they found out what the SGC was, and at least this way you could control what they learned and who they mentioned it to. You know how relentless they get once they find something to dig up..." "Honestly, Leo, the next time you hand out the strange cases, *please* make sure Sam *doesn't* get another UFO/alien conspiracy theorist. This is all your fault to begin with!" He stopped short and looked down at me from where he was perched on the edge of his desk, then asked, "Are you *sure* you're okay?" "Yeah, I'm good." If you call being too sore to sit my ass down 'good'... "So what happened? I remember they made friends while we were there, who--?" "One of their friends pretty much had to violate 'don't ask, don't tell' or risk being lobotomized," I explained, trying to keep it as vague as possible and still give the President a chance to figure it out. "How did that happen?" "As far as I can tell, it had something to do with a really sensitive lie detector..." "It could tell he was hiding something and he couldn't say what, so they thought he was under that mind control?" he asked, starting to see where the problem lay. I nodded, then added, "And he gave Sam a full statement, partly as a legal defense should he need one, and partly as one of the cases where the regulation falls flat on its face." "As Commander-in-Chief, am I violating regulations by asking who?" "As a matter of fact, you are. It's O'Neill, though." His eyes went round on that one, and turning very thoughtful he said, "O'Neill? Boy, if we could trot out his service record as an example of a gay officer who's proved his leadership ability time and time again..." "We'd kill his career right then and there, unless the reg changes... Now you see why Sam's turning it into a crusade..." I shifted to try and get comfortable and winced, and again he caught me doing it. "Now, I may not be the most observant fellow sometimes, and I'm terrible with names, but I am not a fool, Leo," he started. All of that's true, but I really didn't need to hear this right now... "So stop telling me you're fine when you're obviously in pain." He moved from the desk to sit on the couch next to me. "What's wrong?" "I --uh-- I'm just a little stiff this morning, Jed," I answered, glancing up at him briefly and hoping he didn't push. "You look like you haven't slept, either. Is it the attack on the Cole? You know you can come to me at any time of the night if you're having problems, Leo..." He reached out and gently laid a hand on my arm, then he said, "*Any* time." "You need your sleep," I answered almost automatically. "You don't need me showing up at one in the morning because I'm depressed or thinking about taking a drink..." Oh, *damn*. His hand tightened on my arm, and he got that tone in his voice... "Leo?" "I didn't, don't worry..." "I *am* worried, and not just as your President, either. Why didn't you tell me?" Great, now I've managed to hurt his feelings... This day is getting worse by the moment. "I talked to someone else. Actually, he called me -- same problem." Don't make me tell you anything more, please Jed... "Oh. No, that makes sense," he said, his eyes going thoughtful. I could see him going through the list and crossing people off. I could even tell when he crossed the last one off automatically, and then realized he'd run out of people. He looked up at me and I could see puzzlement in his eyes. "You talked to Hoynes?" "Yes." "Before you talked to me?" Oh hell. "Yes." "Leo, why did you-- you know how I--" He stopped himself both times, then I saw his mouth open again. Third time's the charm... "You don't even *like* him..." "Yes." Now wait a minute, yes, *what*? "But you talked to him." "We go to the same meetings -- I know he'll keep quiet; he knows I will. And he called me -- He used to be Navy, Jed, it hit him hard, too, you know." I think that's the second time in my *life* that I've defended John Hoynes... "Leo?" "Yes." "Watch your step with him..." "He won't do anything against me, he's too worried about getting his own ass into trouble," I said, relieved that the discussion was going this way instead of where it could have gone... "Just -- don't trust him. I hear things, you know." "What kind of things?" Yeah, don't count your chickens, I know... The sudden knock on the door startled both of us, then Mrs. Landingham opened the door and looked in. "Excuse me, Mr. President. Leo, Josh Lyman's waiting for you." Saved by the bell... "Thank you, Mrs. Landingham," I said, looking up at Jed. "I have to go -- we've got to discuss the Mideast thing." "You do that, Leo," he answered as Mrs. Landingham backed out and shut the door again. "Just-- be careful with Hoynes, okay?" "Don't worry, I always am." --==**==-- "Josh," I greeted him as I entered the room, finding him hovering around Margaret's desk. "Come on." We went to my office and he shut the door, then sat in front of my desk. I carefully sat down. Guess I might have let out a grunt when I did, because Josh's head snapped up and he looked at me. "Just a little stiff today, Josh; must have slept funny." Here we go again... "You look like you haven't slept at all..." "Look, I just went through this with the President. Why don't we just discuss the Mideast trip and get it out of the way, okay?" I asked him, probably sounding a little more annoyed than I'd intended to. "I'm sorry, Josh, I'm just tired. How are *you* doing?" "Pretty good, actually. I just can't jog anywhere near as much as I could before..." "Losing part of a lung will do that to you. Don't push yourself, and let Sam keep taking care of you -- he does a good job." "Leo..." Josh said, obviously embarrassed. He was blushing almost to his hairline! "No, I mean it. You're good for each other." "I'm not even going to ask you how you know. But things have been getting to Sam, and I have to ask: if it got out, would we -- is there--" "You were there for me when Lillienfield went after me; we were there for Sam when the reporter caught him giving that girl a graduation present; we're not about to abandon the two of you now!" And then he frowned at me and asked the question I was afraid he would. "Are you talking as my friend, or is that official, Leo?" "The President wants you two to keep being discreet, but if it got out, he wouldn't turn his back on you." "That'll make Sam feel better -- he's been worrying." "Glad I could help then," I answered. Then a yawn fought its way out and I blinked at Josh across the desk. "Look, Josh, maybe you should have your meeting with Toby now, and I'll catch you later this afternoon. I think I need to put my head down for a little while..." He nodded and stood, and although he looked concerned, I don't think he was overly worried. "Can you tell Margaret to wake me after an hour?" "Yeah, I could do that. You have to take it easy, Leo..." He walked out and shut the door behind him. I groaned and hauled myself to my feet, then walked over to my couch and settled myself as comfortably as possible. Finally alone, I could let myself feel more than the pain of stiff muscles. I know Hoynes wanted to leave me something to remember him by, and this ache deep inside definitely fit the bill. It actually felt kind of good, the kind of ache that reminds you you've been fucked so completely by someone... But god, I was so tired and my legs and hips really were calling me names. It really had been a long time since I'd been fucked like that... I needed to sleep -- just for a bit -- and then I'd get up and get back to work... Should have told Josh to insist to Margaret that *no one* bothers me for that hour... I must have *just* shut my eyes when the door opened again. Strange that they didn't knock first -- must have been Josh realizing he'd forgotten something or-- "Leo..." That wasn't Josh's voice! "John, what the hell are you doing in here? I'm trying to get *some* sleep..." I tried to sit up, but before I could, he was kneeling at my side. "Just stay there, Leo," he murmured, and the next thing I knew, his mouth was on mine, kissing me desperately. Jesus! Reluctantly, I pushed him back and sat up. This was the first time we had kissed and for some reason it went straight to my cock, but this was NOT the place... "Not *now*, John, we're at *work*..." "Stop me, then," he purred, and then he was leaning forward, pinning me back against the couch. Don't push me, John... His hands were everywhere, inside my jacket, rubbing up and down my chest, fingering my nipples through my shirt -- he was trying to drive me wild, and damn it, he was succeeding. I had to stop him, and I didn't really want to. There was something thrilling about the risk of being caught. Obviously I was going insane... He kissed me again, and I knew if I didn't stop this now, we'd both be in trouble. I grabbed his shoulders and forced him back. "John, *stop* it!" I stood up and continued to push him back, and his eyes went wide. Maybe he didn't expect me to actually be this strong, or maybe it surprised him that I dared to stop him. Obviously, he didn't remember what I told him last night... I figured the least I could do was remind him of it. I slid my grip down to his arms and pushed him back into the door, smiled as his lips parted and I heard his gasp. That, too, went straight to my cock. All of a sudden, I was pinning him against the door and kissing him hard. He gasped into my mouth, sagged back against the door in surrender. I thought I'd seen something in his eyes a couple of times last night; I'm glad I wasn't wrong... I broke the kiss and took a step back, then smiled at him. He seemed to like my smile, so... "On your knees, John..." He glowered at me and continued to stand. Until I glowered back at him and repeated, "On your knees!" Then he got on his knees so fast I thought he might hurt something. I could see him swallow hard, could see his pulse pounding in the vein in his throat. "Unzip my pants and suck me, John..." Oh god, that look he gave me... He wanted me to pin him down and fuck him right through the floor. I thought I was right; Mr. I-Get-Off-On-Making- Jed-Bartlet-Beg wants to find someone who'll dominate him! I can do that. I have no trouble with putting him over my knee and paddling his ass until *he* can't sit down... It's been a while since I really indulged, and considering Jed's medical problems I'd never, *ever* try to take him as far as I can take this boy... God, that mouth -- oh damn, he was a lot better at this than I'd expect in someone who likes to top... But then again, I had him helpless when I sucked him. And then my brain took a walk and left things up to my body... I think I must have grabbed his hair -- not sure. But I fucked his mouth hard, the little moans he was making driving me wild. God, just wait until I had him somewhere private with a bed! "Jesus, John, I'm gonna--" *Knock* *Knock* *Knock* Oh shit-- "Leo? You okay in there?" Oh shit oh shit oh shit! "Yeah, Margaret, I'm fine," I answered, trying to catch my breath. God -- where in the *hell* did that dream come from?! Oh, gee, Leo, I don't know, where do you *think* it came from? I sat up and grabbed one of the small pillows, putting it in my lap & then leaning my arms on it, then asked, "You still out there, Margaret?" The door opened and she popped her head in. "Has it been an hour already?" "Fifty-eight minutes, actually, but Toby and Josh need to talk to you. Do you want me to tell them you'll be there in a few minutes? It'll give you a chance to splash some water on your face and--" "Thank you, Margaret. Tell them to give me ten minutes and I'll see them in Toby's office." She nodded and left; I took a deep breath, moved the pillow and then looked down at my crotch. Great. This day just got better and better... --==**==-- To be continued...