The Christmas Series 6: Reunion And revelations

by Morgana

Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Fandom: X-Men

Parings: Remy/ Bobby.

Rating: R

Status: finished.

Series/Sequel: Sequel to 'The Cold from Hell'

Category: drama, alternate universe, angst.

Summary: Bobby takes actions when Remy's nightmares continue

"Poppa? Jean-Luc? Poppa?" I'm mumbling in my sleep, subconsciously calling out for Jean-Luc and the sound of my own voice wakens me. "Poppa?" That name always brought Jean-Luc to my bedside and maybe it will work now too!

"Remy? Jean-Luc isn't here, but maybe I can help?" Bobby sounds lost and his eyes are dull and helpless.

What am I putting the poor guy through? "Bobby, cher, I'm sorry. Must have been a nightmare. I sometimes have dem."

"Sometimes?" Bobby shakes his head. "You have had nightmares every night!"

Feeling guilty for robbing him of his peaceful sleep, I roll onto my back, away from Bobby and stare at the ceiling. Bobby's lying on his right side, watching me and I feel that stare move over my face. Bobby's eyes carry worry and sorrow.

"Jean-Luc adopted you, didn't he?" Bobby doesn't seem too sure of his conclusions.

Mais oui, I never told him any names. Bobby has to put all the pieces of the puzzle together by himself. It's about time I help him. "Oui, Jean-Luc adopted me. He's my... father. He's all I have left."

"Who is this Henri you sometimes mention in your sleep? I don't think it's Hank."

"Henri is Jean-Luc's first born." Painful memories resurface, taking me back to those first days in which they took turns sitting with me. "Jean-Luc was de only person I trusted for a very long time, Bobby. He saved my life more dan once."

"I've been at the boathouse for four days now, Remy, and although the fever is gone you still call out for him every night. Maybe you should talk to him face to face?"

"I can', Bobby. I can' ever go back to N'awlins."

"Why's that?"

How do I explain the Guilds to him? It's best he doesn't know. "I made a mistake, hurt someone's feelings and had to leave de city." I'm not mentioning killing Julien in a duel, because I didn't kill him! The bastard's still around, one of the living dead, but he still keeps me from going back to New Orleans!

"Can't your dad come here?"

Bobby cocks his head and hesitantly raises his hand to touch my face. He's so gently, so tender... "He can' leave his business, Bobby, dey need him." I try hard to hide the pain I feel. I would do anything to have Jean-Luc close. "Bobby, cher, can we go back to sleep? It's only four in de mornin' and I'm tired... you look tired too." Bobby looked after me these last few days as I battled that infernal cold. He didn't get much sleep either.

"Sure, go back to sleep. Move a little closer?" Bobby opens his arms invitingly.

I move into them, rest my head against his chest and close my eyes. His hand rests on my abdomen and he's tracing circles through the fabric of my T-shirt, which feels nice. The soothing motion lures me back into sleep.

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The next days we fall into a comfortable rhythm. We sleep in late, which is a real treat, and then we prepare a huge lunch followed by walking Wiggles, playing with the puppy and snuggling on the couch. I could certainly get used to this. There's only one problem; my nightmares. Every night I kick Bobby awake, scream for Jean-Luc and it takes Bobby long minutes to calm me down. Dark circles are starting to show beneath his eyes and I hate myself for doing this to him.

"Remy? What are you thinking about?"

Bobby is standing behind me, and as I look into the bathroom mirror, I recognize the tired expression in his eyes; it mirrors mine. "De nightmares." Bobby nuzzles my neck. I don't really know why we haven't taken the next step yet. All we did so far was kiss and snuggle. Neither Bobby nor I took the initiative to take this to the next level. Maybe we both need time.

"Why don't you finally tell me what they are about?"

Bobby enfolds me in his arms and leads me into the bedroom. Wiggles is already asleep on the bed when we sit down and I try to find the courage to finally reveal my worst fear to him.

"Remy, you can trust me. Please tell me why you're hurting."

I sigh, give in and lock eyes with Bobby. "Jean-Luc left me... tante Mattie left me... Rogue left me... the X-Men left me to die in Antarctica... see a pattern here, cher?" Telling Bobby the truth reliefs me, but I still feel lonely. "And you'll leave me too..."

Bobby's eyes are filled with compassion. "Remy, your way of thinking is very understandable, considering everything you've been through. You never knew your parents, had to leave New Orleans for whatever reason and then we deserted you in Antarctica. But trust me, Remy, I won't leave you. I'll stay."

"Bobby, I heard it all 'fore. Jean-Luc promised he'd never lemme go and yet he did. I had a hard time learnin' to trust you, mais... I do trust you, cher, mais soon you'll realize what a bad bargain I am and leave me for someone betta. You deserve someone betta, you know." Bobby wants to interrupt, but I rest a finger against his lips, shutting him up. "I'm damaged goods, Bobby, in more ways dan you can ever imagine. I carry 'round too much emotional bagage."

Bobby's frowning and the expression in his eyes hardens. I'm getting the 'Goodbye Remy' speech sooner than I expected.

"Damn it, Remy, I understand why you think that I'm gonna leave you, but your thinking's fucked up, love. I want you! No one else."

He seems at a loss for words and I trace the outside of his lips with my fingertips. "Everyone leaves me, Bobby..."

"I won't!"

I never heard such determination in his voice! "Mais anyway, dat's what de nightmares are 'bout." I don't want to discuss my fear of abandonment any longer. "It's not'ing new, cher..." The pain that shines from Bobby's eyes takes me aback.

"You shouldn't feel that way, Remy. You don't deserve to feel that way."

A flash of pain moves through me, remembering the Morlocks that got killed because of my stupidity. Ai, Bobby, you don't know how much I deserve to feel this way. "I can sleep on de couch," I start, rising from the bed. "You should get a good night's sleep."

"Oh no, you're not bailing out!" Bobby pulls me back. "Get into bed, Remy, I'll join you in a sec. I need to make a phone call first and then we'll talk some more."

Bobby gives me a stern look when I remain motionless, grabs my feet and forces me to lie down. Mon Dieu, it feels good, knowing he really wants me. Only then his words register. "Call? Whom do you have to call?" I feel something evasive in his mind. Is he hiding something from me?

"A friend, and now stop the questions. It's gonna be a surprise." Bobby pulls up the blankets and tucks them around me.

"A surprise?" I hate surprises.

"A good surprise. Remy, trust me, you'll like it." Bobby grins smugly as he heads for the doorway. "It'll only take five minutes and no eavesdropping!"

Suddenly I'm feeling depressed again, saddened and out of sync. It's obvious that Bobby doesn't want me to know what's going on and I feel shut out. Turning onto my left side, away from him, I curl up beneath the blankets and watch Wiggles waggle closer to me. He circles the spot between my arms and then plops down, snuggling up to me. I hold on to him, wondering if I lost Bobby already.

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I pretend being asleep when Bobby climbs into bed five minutes later. He spoons up behind me, wraps his arms around me and caresses my hair.

"Remy, I know you're awake."

He saw through the pretence... but I still don't want to talk to him.

"Remy, why are you mad with me?"

Mon Dieu, he really doesn't know... "I ain' mad, Bobby."

"What is it then? Help me out, Remy, because I haven't got a clue."

"Whom did you call?"

"Is that it? Remy, I can't tell you, but I promise you'll find out tomorrow."

He can't tell me, huh? He's keeping secrets already, probrably planning on moving back to the mansion and calling Hank to let him know he's dumping me. I move out of his arms, ignoring Wiggles' protest at being moved about. "I'm gonna sleep now."

"Remy..." Bobby sounds hurt, even shocked.

I squeeze my lips shut, determined not to talk to him. Closing my eyes, I concentrate on the bundle of warmth in my arms. I'm emotionally exhausted and it doesn't take me long to fall asleep.

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"Poppa! Poppa! Where are you? Henri.... tante... poppa!"

"Remy, wake up, Remy!"

"NON!" I scream, sitting upright and staring dazedly at Bobby's face. "Fuck, I had anot'er nightmare..." Bobby's eyes are big and his brow is knitted. His right hand is soothingly rubbing my back and his left is pushing back some damp locks that made their way into my face. "I'm sorry, Bobby... I should really sleep on de couch."

I'm shivering all over my body and Bobby pulls up the blankets, slowly lowering me back into the pillows. My lungs don't like the commotion and react; the fluids aren't gone completely and I start coughing. Please don't let me start hyperventilating as well!

"Remy?" Bobby leans in a little closer. "Want me to get you some water? OJ? Anything at all?" He's busy holding back Wiggles who woke due to the noise and is now trying to jump onto my lap.

"Non, I don' want anyt'in... jus' stay? Please?" I can't tell him what that nightmare was about; it freaked me out.

"Okay, then talk to me." Bobby is petting Wiggles, who's slowly settling down. "Who left you this time?"

Mon Dieu, he knows... "Jean-Luc did." Why the hell am I telling him this? I was so determined to ignore him after being secretive about that phone call!

"Tell me about it, Remy."

This time Bobby stays on his side and pulls me close to his chest. I'm still on my back, staring at the ceiling. "It was cold... I t'ink I was back on de ice and I called for him... he saved me 'fore and he would save me 'gain, and he showed up...stood in front of me in de citadel..."

"And then what?"

Bobby kisses my brow, showering it with butterfly kisses which almost tingle. "He turned his back on me and walked 'way."

"Ouch, that had to hurt."

"Oui, it did." I find the courage to trade staring at the ceiling for looking into his eyes instead. "I'm sorry 'bout givin' you de cold shoulder earlier."

"You were upset, deprived of sleep and subconsciously still dealing with those nightmares," Bobby summarizes. "I understand that, but Remy, don't ever ignore me again when we're talking. Giving me the silent treatment won't solve anything, okay?"

"Bien..." Wiggles is licking my face and it's making me giggle. "Petit, stop doin' dat." But the truth is that I don't want him to stop... ever. Turning back to Bobby I look into his trusting eyes. "Why me, cher? You could have everyone you want. Why me? I kick you at night, scream in my sleep and..."

"We'll figure this out, Remy and we'll deal with it together."

"Dat's what Jean-Luc said when he found me, mais he didn' stay and we're no longer dealin' wit' it toget'er. Ain' I pat'etic, cher? I need someone else to keep me sane."

Bobby sighs deeply. "Things will look better in the morning, Remy. Let's go back to sleep."

I don't argue with him; we're both tired. "Hold me, cher?"

Bobby tightens his hold. "All through the night."

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"Bobby? Why do you keep starin' at de door?" It's almost dinner time and Bobby's still watching the door. He's done so since breakfast. "Are you expectin' someone?"

"Maybe..."

"Cher!" Bobby's been playing me all day long and I can't stand it any longer. "Bobby!"

"Just wait!"

Bobby's driving me insane. He keeps dropping hints that we'll have a visitor today, but then denies it when I ask him directly. "Knock yourself out, starin' at de door, I'm startin' dinner." Those words sound strange to my own ears. It's been weeks since I felt hungry and found the energy to fix something to eat. Bobby's responsible for the changes and I don't know how to feel about that. I'll fall into an even deeper depression once he leaves.

"Remy..." Bobby walks over to the kitchen area, but still keeps an eye on the front door. "What's for dinner?"

"Pasta..." Wiggles is jumping in front of me, feeling neglected now that I'm pulling out pans from the cupboard. "Here, cher, make yourself useful." I pick up Wiggles and deposit him in Bobby's arms. Wiggles is delighted to find himself in Bobby's arms and licks his face.

Bobby allows it, petting the dog. "You know what day it is, Remy?"

"What day it is?" I must admit I lost track of time due to the cold from Hell. "I haven' got a clue, cher." It's probably January already.

"It's New Year's Eve." Bobby grins smugly, opens the fridge and takes out the bottle of champagne that's sitting there. "You're practically off your meds so we can celebrate New Year's properly."

I put the pasta into the boiling water and start on the sauce. I still don't know why Bobby's constantly watching the door. "Cher, I don' know whom you're expectin' to show up, mais it's obvious he ain' comin', gimme a hand here instead?"

Bobby opens his mouth to say something, but changes his mind. A grin appears on his face. "He'll come, you'll see."

"It's a he den?" Ah, Bobby's starting to give things away. "It is Hank, oui?'

"Non," Bobby teases. "It's not Hank." Bobby's setting the table for three people.

"Still not tellin' me? Have it your way, cher. Dinner's ready." I drain the pasta and stir the sauce one last time. It's ready to be served. "Cher, bring me dose plates?"

Bobby is in the process of picking them up when someone knocks on the door. "That's him!" Bobby calls out thriumphantly. "I knew he'd come!"

Resigned, I watch him run toward the front door. It looks like we'll have a guest tonight. I just wish I knew what to prepare for. Bobby opens the door and it reveals a dark form. The sun has long set and the moon does little to illuminate our guest. I wash and dry my hands and walk up to the front door as well. Bobby's raving enthusiastically.

"I'm so glad you could come. I'm Bobby by the way. I'm the one who phoned you. You're right on time; dinner's ready. Join us?"

Huh, Bobby has to introduce himself? Does that mean he doesn't really know the man? I approach cautiously, uncertain who our guest is as he hasn't spoken a single word and his features are obsured by darkness.

Bobby turnes around and a huge grin flashes across his features. "You see? I told you he'd come!"

I raise an inquisitive eyebrow. "Whom are you talkin' 'bout, cher?" This game is getting on my nerves.

"Don' you recognize your old père, Remy?"

"Mon Dieu!" I blink my eyes when he steps into the light. It's Jean-Luc LeBeau, and he hasn't aged one day since that first time we met twelve years ago. I know it's because of the Elixer, but seeing him like this stuns me every time. You'd think I'd grow use to it! "Poppa?" Have I fallen asleep and am I dreaming this? Someone better pinch me awake!

"Remy, mon fils, let dis old man hold his son!" Jean-Luc moves closer and opens his arms.

I fling myself at him, wrap my arms tightly around his frame and let him hold me. "You can' be here! You can' be!" This is impossible! No way Jean-Luc would leave New Orleans to come to Westchester. "Is it a dream?"

"No dream, petit. Come, let's sit down. You look like you've seen a ghost."

Jean-Luc leads me to the couch and sits down next to me. I quickly glance at Bobby and the huge smile is still there. "Bobby, what did you do?" I'm leaning against Jean-Luc, inhaling his cologne, the scent of his cigars and relishing his closeness.

"I talked to Jean-Luc over the phone and told him what was going on. He immediately agreed to come to the boathouse." Bobby shrugs his shoulders. "You were hurting and I couldn't stand by and do nothing. Why not use all this technology at the mansion to our benefit? It didn't take me long to get Jean-Luc's phone number, but it took time to convince his staff to take my calls. I guess they didn't believe I was calling on your behalf."

I free myself of Jean-Luc's embrace and walk over to Bobby. "No one ever did somet'in' dis beau for me, cher. Merci." Leaning in closer I claim his lips, deepen the kiss and wrap my arms around him. "Je t'aime," I whisper dazedly; I still can't believe he convinced Jean-Luc to come here.

Bobby blushes sightly and smiles pleased. "Why don't I walk Wiggles? That gives you some time to talk to your father."

"Merci, cher... I don' know how I can ever repay you."

"You don't have to, Remy. I want you to be happy." Bobby's lips brush mine and then he slips into his parka, collecting Wiggles, who's already pacing near the front door. "I'll see you guys later for dinner."

Ai, the pasta! Well, it's already ruined and food is the last thing on my mind right now as I sit down next to Jean-Luc. "Why are you here? What 'bout Guild matters? Shouldn' you be in N'Awlings?"

"Remy, stop it and calm down." Jean-Luc smiles fondly. "Everyt'ing's bien at home. De Guild won' crumble 'cause I'm here."

I search his eyes and find the same remnants of guilt I saw years ago. I settle back into his arms again, feeling like the little child that he rescued from the deadly cold. "I never expected you to visit."

"You should have let me know you needed me. Now I had to hear it from your lover."

Jean-Luc's diabolical grin reassures me. "You approve of him?" His blessing means a lot to me.

"He's very concenred 'bout you, mon fils. He obviously loves you; dose are excellent qualities so oui, I approve." Jean-Luc moves even closer and thightens his embrace. "He told me 'bout de cold and de nightmares, petit."

I should have known Bobby would confide in Jean-Luc. "It's de old same nightmares, poppa."

"I'm sorry you had to leave N'Awlings." Jean-Luc grows serious and locks eyes with me. "If I had known Julien would react like dat I'd never have agreed to de marriage. De mad man took 'way my son..."

"Ai, poppa, you didn' have a choice. De Guilds had to be united." I know his hands were tied.

Jean-Luc sighs and rubs my icy fingers. "I wish I had come sooner, mais I've been a coward dese last few years."

"Poppa?" I don't understand what he's saying. Jean-Luc isn't a coward! I relax at his touch. I love it when he caresses my skin like that. Took me years to get used to it, but now the gesture stands for safety and emotional warmth. "You ain' a coward." This whole situation reminds me of my childhood and one thing always puzzled me. "Can I ask you somet'in' personal?"

"Of course, mon fils."

"When I was li'l you said dat you should have searched harder. I never understood what you meant by dat. You didn' even know dat I existed!" Jean-Luc's body tenses against mine and I search his eyes deeper, feeling some of his incertainty, love and... guilt.

Jean-Luc smiles saddened. "I should have told you years ago, mais non, I made dat impossible. I'll tell you know, mais I hate losin' you."

"You won' lose me!" I rest my right hand on his shoulder, suddenly alarmed by his expression.

Jean-Luc takes off his long coat and begins pacing the living area. "It all started twenty-four years ago when Claire, my wife, was diagnosted wit' cancer. It had already spread and she would die shortly."

"Was she Henri's mère?" Jean-Luc never told me about his family before and I wonder why he's bringing it up now.

"Oui, Henri's mère. She was a fine woman, Remy, you'd have liked her." Jean-Luc's eyes sadden momentarily, but then he recomposes himself again. "She knew she was goin' to die and decided to select a new wife for me."

Did I hear that right? "She did what?"

"She feared I would grow into a hermit once she'd died. Clair knew me well. I'd never have sought out anot'er woman on my own. It would have felt like cheatin' on her, so she did it for me while she was still feelin' bien."

"She got you a new wife?" Claire must have been a remarkable woman.

"Oui, she found Gabrielle and introduced us. I liked her at once and Claire seemed extremely pleased about her choice, but Henri and ot'er family members clearly showed their displeasure and Claire decided dat Gabrielle got her own li'l home at de outskirts of N'Awlings where I could visit her. When Claire died she told me to make a honorable woman of Gabrielle and to marry her when de time was right. She made me promise."

I shake my head in disbelief. I never knew about this! "I'm sorry she died."

"She was against usin' de Elixer to outsmart dead. She felt her time had come and she wasn' goin' to cheat deat'. Believe me, Remy, I tried to change her mind, mais I failed."

"What happened next?" In spite of everything I want to know what happened to Gabrielle.

"A few months after Claire died I found comfort in Gabrielle's arms. Knowin' dat I had Claire's blessing made me feel less guilty, mais I still felt guilty for takin' a new lover dis quickly. Den Gabrielle told me she was pregnant."

"Pregnant?" I lean back into the comfort of the couch and pull up the blanket Bobby left on the couch from when I was battling that cold. "Poppa, you don' have to tell me." This is obviously hurting him and I don't want him to hurt!

"Non, Remy, you deserve to know de trut'." Jean-Luc stops pacing and takes his seat on the couch again. "Claire's father was very influential within de Assasin's Guild and he was mad dat I had taken a new lover. He decided to kill Gabrielle and de chile she'd given birt' too. I had taken dem to the hospital when it was time for her to give birt' and dat's when everyt'in' fell to pieces." Jean-Luc's voice trembles and his eyes swim with unshed tears.

"You're frightenin' me, poppa." I don't think I've ever seen him this emotional before.

"Claire's père killed Gabrielle dat night, cut her throat and he wanted to kill de chile as well, mais de Antiquary had let bot' guilds know dat he wanted de boy for his collection and I managed to 'steal' him from de hospital."

Mon Dieu! Non, non! It can't be! He can't be talking about me! My eyes sting with tears and I pull back my hand, burying it beneath the blanket. "Please make sense." I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown and I can't deal with this anymore. I've been heading for a nervous breakdown since Antarctica and now Jean-Luc's pushing me over the edge.

"I never wanted de Antiquary to get his filt'y hands on you, Remy, mais my hands were tied. When I got home he was already dere, waitin' for me to hand him de chile. I vowed to get you back, mais... I failed. I'm so sorry, Remy." Jean-Luc lowers his eyes and shakes his head at his failure. "I should have searched harder."

Now his remark makes sense. "Does dat mean I'm your son? Your flesh and blood?" I feel strangely calm; the emotional storm will hit later.

"Oui, you're Gabrielle's son... and mine." Jean-Luc holds his breath as our eyes meet. "Have I lost you now?"

"I don' know what to say..." I'm in shock, finding out that I'm his flesh and blood. "I... need time."

"I understand," Jean-Luc whispers, distressed. He gets to his feet and takes a few steps away from the couch. "Do you want me out of here?"

"Non!" I swallow the big lump that formed in my throat while listening to his history and shake my head. "Non, I want you to stay." Dazedly, I get to my feet and walk over to the window. It's dark outside and the moon and stars shine brightly; it's probably freezing. Where are Bobby and Wiggles? It's way too cold out there for a puppy!

"Mon fils..."

Suddenly reality hits me. He never really lied to me; called me his son from day one and Henri called me his little brother. I always was part of the family. "Does anyone else know?"

"Mattie does."

That hurts. "Why didn' you tell me?"

"I was scared."

"Scared?" I turn around and face him. "Why would you be scared?"

"I'm a father who failed his chile in de worst way possible. I let de Antiguary make you part of his collection and later when you hit de streets I wasn' dere to protect you. You have every right to be mad wit' me, petit."

But I'm not angry with him. Right now I don't feel a fucking thing! What I do now will shape our future and I only know one thing for sure; I don't ever want to lose him, especially not now that I know he's my real father. "Poppa?" I extend my right hand and he grabs it, pulling me close to his chest. "Careful, poppa, I need to breathe!"

"I'm sorry," Jean-Luc apologizes and loosens his hold slightly. "Can you forgive me?"

I nod my head against his chest. "Mais oui. Je t'aime, poppa."

"Merci, mon fils..."

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It's midnight and Bobby opens the champagne bottle, filling our glasses. The new year has arrived and it promises to be a good one. The TV is on, but no one is paying the movie any attention. Bobby and Jean-Luc are engaged in conversation and I'm playing with Wiggles, who's delighted at having my undivided attention.

I only start paying attention to the conversation when Jean-Luc mentions being tired and wanting to get some sleep. "You can stay in our room upstairs," I offer, knowing it's the only bedroom in the house. Bobby and I will find a place to sleep.

"Non, I will take de couch," Jean-Luc says firmly. "And it looks like de two of you need some sleep as well."

I get the hint and get to my feet. Bobby picks up Wiggles and makes his way upstairs after thanking Jean-Luc for visiting us. I wait until he's gone and walk over to Jean-Luc, handing him a pillow and some blankets.

"You love him, don' you?"

Jean-Luc's question takes me aback. "Whom? Bobby? I ain' sure... Feelings are all over de place."

"Remy, I recognize de look in your eyes. You love him."

"I do?" I quip, amused. "Merci for tellin' me!"

"De two of you will be happy, Remy."

I fold my arms around Jean-Luc and he returns the embrace. I bathe in his feelings, relishing the love he's radiating. "Merci for savin' my life, merci for jus' bein' dere."

"Remy, I made some bad mistakes and de worst one was tellin' you to leave N'Awlings. I can never make t'ings up to you, mais never forget dat I'm 'ways wit' you..." Jean-Luc places the palm of his hand over my heart. "Dere, can you feel me? I'm 'ways close."

I smile reassuringly. "Oui, I understand."

"Remy... dere's one t'ing left to discuss."

Jean-Luc pulls me onto the couch and I sit down next to him, curious what he's hinting at. "Oui?"

"De Elixer. When you reach de age of t'irty you'll need to decide if you want to drink it. As my flesh and blood and as my successor you're entitled to drink it. T'ink it over very carefully. You still have some time left, mais I've got to ask you not to discuss dis wit' Bobby. It's a family matter. You may tell him after you made your decision."

I'd forgotten about the Elixer. It never came up before because I was only his adopted son. Now everything's changed. "I promise to t'ink 'bout it."

"Bien!" Jean-Luc smiles and presses a kiss onto my brow. "Now, don't let your new lover wait and go upstairs to join him."

"Will you still be here in de mornin'?"

"I can' make dat promise, Remy."

I nod my head once, knowing he'll probably have left before Bobby and I wake up. "Merci for tellin' me de trut'." I rise from the couch and make my way to the bedroom, knowing Bobby and Wiggles are waiting for me. Downstairs I hear Jean-Luc struggle with the blankets until he finds a comfortable position.

"Remy?" Bobby's still playing with Wiggles, but the puppy's eyes are closing. Sitting up in bed, he gestures me to join him.

I quickly take off my clothes, only leaving my briefs on. I shiver as the cold air touches my skin and quickly slip between the covers. Wiggles has fallen asleep at Bobby's feet and is making soft sounds; he's probably dreaming of chasing his own tail.

"Is everything okay, love? You look shaken."

"I'm bien, Bobby... never felt dis bien. Merci for callin' Jean-Luc, mais why did you do dat?" I turn onto my left side and watch him watching me.

"I can't stand it when you're hurting and I could do something to make you feel better, so I did." Bobby shrugs his shoulders and then averts his eyes. "I love you, Remy and I don't you to hurt."

I can tell he wants to add more, but holds back. "What is it, cher?" I place the palm of my hand against his cheek and he leans into the touch.

"You said something in French to me earlier..." Bobby's eyes are clouded and he moves a little closer. "What does it mean?"

I know damn well what I said to him. "Je t'aime, Bobby, I love you." His heart speeds up beneath my other hand and I can feel him tremble.

"You never said that before." Bobby's holding his breath.

"It took me dis long to understand my feelings, cher. I've been a mess, in case you hadn' noticed." I feel his pleasure, his happiness now that I'm returning his feelings. "Mais we should move slowly..."

"Of course, love! I would never rush you..."

He's thinking about my past again, but this time it doesn't irritate me that he's treating me this carefully. It only shows how much he loves me. "Je t'aime, cher... and now kiss me?" I wrap my arms around him and his hands come up behind my back, pulling me close as well. Intertwined like that, we kiss. I don't hold back and neither does he. The kiss feels incredibly right and I no longer feel alone now that I've found love in Bobby's arms.

The end.

January 2002