TES II: *Options*

by Jadzia

Pairing: My favourite three men in all possible combinations... Mulder/Krycek/Skinner

Homepage: http://members.theglobe.com/Ratboyx

Walter Skinner had thought about this long and hard.

Did he want them?

Oh yes.

Did they want him?

Seemed so. In bed.

Was that enough?

No.

He wanted it to be but he knew full well it wasn't. Not for him.

He had sat in his office for hours on that certain night a week ago, and when he had finally driven home he hadn't been able to sleep.

His office hadn't been the same for him after that, although nothing visible had changed.

Walter remembered the morning after. He had been standing in his office, staring at his desk as if it had been a delivery of one of Mulder's precious aliens. He had walked around it, looked at it from all angles, he had even *sniffed* at it, before deciding he was behaving ridiculously.

Although there *had been* a faint smell...

Walter sighed.

There wasn't a day he didn't think of Fox and Alex.

There wasn't an *hour*.

They were both so different from himself.

Young. Impulsive. Beautiful. Happy.

It was hard to be with them, and it was terrible *not* to be with them. Difficult to hold back. Even more with Alex. When he was together with Mulder, he could at least keep his distance. The A.D.-agent-thing. Not easy, but Alex... He had an air of danger floating around him that threatened to make Walter shove him up against the nearest wall and do all these things to him he didn't want to think about ten minutes before his meeting with the Director.

And at the same time, he showed a vulnerability that made Skinner want to take Alex to bed, spoon around him and hold him all night long.

Fox could do that, too. Look at him with these big sad eyes that made it hard for Walter not to wrap him up in his arms and tell him that everything was going to be allright.

Fantastic, Walter.

Fall in love with your subordinate and his boyfriend.

He thought about the date they had set for tonight. Football, a few beers, something to eat.

Another exercise in self-control.

Time for his meeting.

At least a way to get out of that damned office.

*******************

"Hey, Walter."

"Hi Alex," Skinner said, handing Alex the beer.

All in black.

Great.

He automatically began searching for the nearest wall.

Will you stop that now?!

He followed Krycek into the kitchen.

"Where's Fox?"

"Still in Chicago. He called an hour ago, they need probably two more days. He told me to tell you he said hi." Alex told him, busily working at the stove.

Walter couldn't immediately decide if that was good or bad. Couldn't change it, anyway.

"Okay...what's that? Smells great."

"Thanks," Alex smiled at him over his shoulder. "It's chili. I just hope it tastes as good."

They settled down on the couch and ate dinner silently, watching the game. Skinner couldn't help glancing over at Alex every few minutes, mesmerized by the way his pale skin stood out against the black of his shirt, his thumb caressing his bottle of beer.

Oh my.

He closed his eyes for a second, and as he opened them again, he was bathed in brilliant green. They stared at each other until silence stretched into embarrassment and neither of them knew what the other one wanted to say.

Walter stood up and mumbled, "I should be going.", already heading for the door.

"No, please don't," Alex said hastily, jumping off the couch.

Putting his jacket on, Walter said quietly, "It's better this way. Believe me Alex, you have no idea -"

"I do. I saw you."

Dumbstruck stare.

One, two, three, four...

"*What*?!"

"I saw you." Again. Softly. Green eyes focused at him, tying him up, unable to move.

Shit.

"You...when?!"

"Nearly immediately." Still soft.

Oh, *shit*.

Take your glasses off.

Rub your eyes.

*Think*.

"Did Fox..."

"No, I didn't tell him."

Only good thing so far.

Now if he could only find that little hole in the wall and disappear...

"Look, Alex -"

"Don't be so embarrassed, Walter. I mean, it was my fault, I saw you and I didn't say anything. And did I look like I was embarrassed?"

Well.

Good point.

"Walter, is this about Fox, too?" He looked at Skinner, intently.

"Yes."

"Then it's okay."

Alex looked up at him through his lashes, eyes half closed, fingers hooked in the belt-straps of his jeans.

Skinner nearly bit his lip. "You have no idea what you do to me."

"Oh, but I think I do."

Huskily.

Grinning.

Brat.

Walter was fairly sure that this wall he had seen before was still standing there, and in one fluid move Alex found himself pinned beneath Skinner, hands held firmly above his head.

He shuddered at the feral gleam in Walter's normally soft dark eyes, now raging with a fire he had never seen before.

"Walter?" Alex whispered. "Kiss me."

And he did.

Kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Plundered his mouth, learned every curve of palate and tongue, knew why Fox couldn't go without kissing him every few minutes when they were together.

So sweet.

He looked down at Alex, head tilted back, panting, lips parted, body limp in absolute surrender.

Beautiful.

Walter bent forward and sucked Alex's neck hard. He loved the low moan he elicited from Alex and freed his hands for a second to rip his shirt off. Securing Alex's wrists in one of his hands immediately, Skinner attacked his throat once more.

He stilled as he tasted Alex again, his lips never leaving the skin. Salty and sweet. Addictive. A faint trace of danger floating underneath.

"Please." Hoarsely.

His lips left Alex's throat and he looked into his eyes, once again astonished at the bright green.

Burning.

Burning with need and desire.

Passion.

Burning for him.

He had dreamt of that. He had dreamt of these eyes filled with passion instead of hate.

Walter remembered the night Fox brought Alex to his place.

God, had it felt good to beat him. To punch the hate out of both of them.

Hadn't worked, obviously.

He hadn't been able to sleep.

No way.

He remembered tangling his hands in the sheets to keep himself from going out on the balcony.

He had wanted to see him shiver.

He had wanted to take him inside, to make him warm, to be the one to discover the last warm glow of goodness, of trust deep within Alex Krycek.

Wasn't meant to be. Not his job to do. And Fox had done it so well; probably...surely better than he ever would have been able to.

He knew that then and he was sure he would know it again, as soon as he walked out of the door tonight. He just didn't want to know it right now.

Right now, as he looked into Alex's eyes and saw everything he ever dreamt of sparkling in them.

He had wanted to hear him beg.

As he did now.

Begging *him*.

"What do you want, Alex?" he asked gruffly, his hands roaming possessively over Krycek's chest.

"You...God, you," Alex breathed.

Walter couldn't believe how beautiful he was, how bad he wanted him. He had never seen Alex like this before, stripped of his usual armor of cynicism and harshness; plain need and desire obvious in every move, in every squirm.

In every whimper.

Skinner felt Alex's hands on his back, the cotton of his shirt beneath Krycek's hot fingers creating an exquisite friction that threatened to overwhelm him if he concentrated on it for too long.

He took Alex's face in both hands and kissed him again.

Softly.

Gently.

With all the tenderness he could muster considering his pants were about to explode. He watched Alex moan as he broke the kiss, avoiding Krycek's thrusting hips.

Why are you doing this, Alex?

What can I give you that Mulder can't?

Why the hell do you want me?

"Walter?"

"Hm?"

"Don't think so much." Alex smiled and took Skinner's glasses off, laying them onto the telephone table next to him.

Walter looked at him silently, his hands stroking from Alex's shoulders down to his waist, holding him there. "What do you want from me?" he asked diffidently, wondering where the heat had gone that had sizzled around them just a few moments ago.

"I thought that was obvious."

No shit, Krycek.

"But - why?"

That little evil smile.

God.

"Lemme think - I think one of the reasons was that you're quite irresistible."

Yeah, right.

I know I'm bald.

I know I'm 48 years old.

I *would* know if I were anything near irresistible, believe me.

Really.

"You think too much. Let yourself feel it. Just feel." Alex whispered, and there it was again, the heat, burning trails of fire along his back, glowing warmly even after Alex's fingers had left.

He felt.

He gave in to the feelings rushing through him, gave in to the overwhelming desire to finally possess this man.

Own him.

And even if it was only for these few minutes, even if it was only fifty percent of his fantasies, even if his conscience killed him afterwards - it would.

He knew it would.

But it took only one look of those brilliant green eyes, head slightly bowed in submission, one trail of a single finger down his back, and all doubts went to hell.

Or at least outside the apartment, which meant the same as non-existent right now.

He felt.

Felt Alex's lips, his tongue, mindblowing, Alex's hands clutching at him desperately as Walter swallowed his moans eagerly, his hand finding Alex's nipples, squeezing, then soothing.

They broke the kiss, panting, as Walter's hands trailed down Alex's ribcage before he suddenly gripped Alex's ass and shoved Krycek hard against him, both of them moaning as their erections touched, heat searing through the layers of clothes between them.

Walter's hands roamed over Alex's back, feeling the hard muscles ripple beneath the satiny skin. One hand combed through Alex's hair, tilting his head backwards so Walter could take his mouth again, each devouring the other with increasing hunger. Walter's other hand moved to open Alex's belt. He noticed the shudder running through the younger man as the leather slipped through the buckle, and he smiled.

Alex gasped against his shoulder as he opened the buttons, and he smiled a little more.

Alex wanted him.

No doubt about that.

He didn't give a damn about the why right now, all he wanted was for Alex to keep on moaning and squirming because of *him*.

He felt Alex's cock slide in his palm like velvet, smooth and rough at the same time.

Hot.

Hard for him.

He had to bite his lip as Alex bit into his shoulder and dug his fingers into his back as he tried to hold back a scream when Walter started to stroke him.

Long, sure strokes.

Felt so good; the hardness in his hand, Alex thrashing against him.

Felt so good.

Walter started as Alex suddenly tried to shove him away.

"Too fast," Alex whispered hoarsely, taking in a ragged breath. "Please...I won't last, please..."

Oh God.

"Shh," Walter soothed, although he felt everything but calm. "Take it slow."

He ran his hands up and down Alex's back, feeling his breathing evening out a little before the younger man whispered into his ear, "You drive me crazy."

"Could've fooled me." Walter rumbled, mainly to get rid of the fist that was squeezing his heart so hard he thought it might burst.

Alex lifted his head and grinned before he started to shuffle out of his jeans.

Walter's heart skipped a beat as he looked at him.

He couldn't help it, no matter how hard he tried. "You're so beautiful." Very, very softly.

Alex stilled and looked at him quickly before diffidently dropping his gaze to his toes.

"Really?" Small voice.

Wait.

Diffident.

Small voice.

Alex Krycek.

Oh my.

Walter cupped Alex's face in his hands and kissed him as softly as he could.

"Really." Which got him a wonderfully dazzling smile.

"Let me." Alex whispered, already fighting with Walter's zipper. Walter closed his eyes and groaned as he felt Alex's hand on his cock. He moaned quietly, getting lost in Alex's tender touch as he noticed a movement and opened his eyes again.

Walter looked down and gasped at the sight that greeted him there: Alex kneeling. Naked. Looking up at him, eyes dark with desire. Alex's hands running up and down his still denim-clad thighs, light touch but blazing fire. He himself still fully clothed.

Suddenly realizing that Alex was fulfilling a fantasy buried so deep he hadn't even been aware of it, Walter became scared.

Like hell.

"Don't, Alex. Not like this. I-"

"Hey, hey, it's okay. You want it, I want it -"

"You want what? To fall on your knees in front of me?" A tad too harsh.

"Yes." Still softly. "To fall on my knees and devour you. Just like this. Since I first saw you. Let me. Please?"

Slow, deep breath.

Trying to find his voice again.

"Do it." Sternly.

He watched Alex's eyes haze with lust as he obeyed, watched this perfect mouth suck the head of his cock into wonderful wet heat as the first jolt of unbelievable pleasure ripped through him, and suddenly he couldn't watch anymore, all he could do now was close his eyes and resist the urge of speeding up and ending this too fast.

He heard himself groan as Alex ran his tongue along his cock, and as he couldn't stand it anymore he growled, "Take it, Alex."

Alex smiled evilly before he went down on him, agonizingly slow. Walter moaned and clutched his hands in Alex's hair, trying to keep himself from forcing Alex to take him deeper.

Which made Alex go even slower until he hardly moved anymore, just holding Skinner's cock in his mouth, sucking lightly. Walter bit his lip and looked down at Alex, desperately wanting to make him take it, but even more desperately not wanting to hurt him.

He nearly gasped at the look Krycek shot him just at that moment.

I dare you.

He dared him.

Wanting to be taken.

Able to take it all.

Walter felt the layers of his resistance splintering one by one as he slowly started to move.

Take him.

Don't hurt him.

Searing white pleasure curled up inside him; tightening, squeezing, threatening, cursing, begging to be released.

He felt Alex's moan vibrating through him as he grabbed his head with both hands, trying to thread his hands through the short strands.

He knew he wouldn't be able to stand this very long, so he drew back reluctantly, only able to do so because he knew he could have the heat back in just a second, just a second later as he plunged into Alex's mouth again, relieved to find it even more wonderful than the last time.

He still tried to hold back, tried not to choke Alex by shoving in as hard and fast as he really wanted, but Alex wouldn't have it.

He looked up at Walter, immobilizing him with a glance, before he grabbed Walter's ass and swallowed him whole. Walter threw his head back and groaned desperately as he slid home.

Nothing had ever felt like this.

Nothing.

Ever.

Alex's eyes were closed as Walter looked down again, nostrils flaring as Alex breathed around his cock, sucking steadily. Walter moaned quietly at the rapt concentration on Alex's face, his hands caressing the short-spiked hair tenderly now, lost in sensation.

Their eyes met as Alex opened his again, holding Walter's gaze as he moved backwards, slowly releasing Walter's cock.

He let the head slide out of his mouth, his lips still so close Walter could feel his whisper, "Do it." A quick lick. "C'mon."

"God, Alex, you drive me fucking crazy."

A smirk against his cock.

"Then take what you want. I want it just as bad as you do. See?"

He saw.

Alex's cock, rock hard, precome smeared over his belly.

"I can take it. Wanna see again?"

Alex's eyes glowed hotly at him as he slowly deep-throated Walter again; and Walter fought.

Fought not to close his eyes.

Not to scream.

Not to come right there and then.

He saw the smirk in Alex's eyes as he languidly slid back again, his tongue tugging dangerously at the little thread that was left of Walter's sanity.

A final lick, and it tore.

Bloody tease.

He dimly heard Alex's faint gasp of pleasure as he gripped his head and shoved his cock down Alex's throat.

Hard.

Just as he needed it.

Just as Alex needed it, if his encouraging moans were anything to go by.

Everything blurred.

The tight restraints, the driving thoughts, the numbing loneliness, everything blurred.

Blurred and melted into a hot, white ball of searing and sizzling and pain and pleasure.

He felt it spreading from his gut to his groin, shooting into his limbs, reaching his brain, consuming his soul.

He could only think that it had been so long, so terribly long since he had allowed himself to feel this way, he couldn't recall the last time it had felt like this.

Maybe it never had.

And then he couldn't think anymore as the thunderstorm hit him and filled him with pure pleasure, just pleasure and Alex all around him, clutching to him, making him whole.

Heaven.

************************

He awoke leaning against the wall, a wonderful warm happiness bubbling inside him. He opened his eyes slowly as he felt a slight tugging at his leg. Trying to focus, he saw Alex scrubbing at his jeans with a towel.

"Hey," he managed weakly.

Alex looked up and smiled. "Hey. Uhm - sorry for the mess." He started scrubbing at Skinner's leg again, trying to get the stains out of the denim.

Walter grinned. "Stop that. Come here."

Alex laid the cloth down and curled up in Walter's lap, his head on Skinner's shoulder. Walter let his head sink onto Alex's hair, his hands roaming over Alex's still deliciously naked body.

So soft.

We shouldn't have done this.

Not ever.

I'll have to go.

I'll have to hurt you.

I'll have to hate myself for letting this happen.

But it felt so good.

So good.

He sighed and tightened his arms around Alex.

Never to be his.

Again.

Alex looked at him, alarmed by the way he tensed. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Walter said, and kissed him.

Gently.

Imprinting the taste, the feel of satiny lips, the pressure of naked flesh, forever burnt into his memory.

"I have to go. Have to work through some reports for tomorrow."

"Okay," Alex said reluctantly, sensing his need for space.

He crawled out of Walter's lap, stood up and started to put on his clothes.

Walter tried not to watch him as he stood, too, rearranged his clothes and took his glasses and his jacket.

He headed for the door and was just ransacking his brain for something to say as Alex's soft question startled him out of his thoughts.

"Any regrets?"

He looked back at Alex and did his best to lie. "No."

He didn't see Alex's eyes darken as he walked out of the door, and it was too late as he realized a few seconds later that not a too long time ago, Alex Krycek's life had depended on his ability to read people.

************************
Three days later
************************

Fox opened the door, anxiously. He exhaled in relief as he saw Alex sitting on the couch.

Sulking. Brooding. ...sad.

He didn't even look up as Mulder entered the living room and sat down next to him.

"Hey." He said softly, getting an anxious glance from Alex.

The younger man rubbed his forehead and said quietly, "I'm sorry, I know you're angry. I-"

"Wait." Fox stopped him. "I'm not angry. I'm worried, I've been trying to reach you for three days now. What's up? Tell me, Alex." He pleaded gently, desperately trying to reach his lover.

"You'll hate me. I can understand if you want to leave-"

"Dammit, Alex," Fox interrupted, trying to hold his temper in check. "What's going on?" He tried to hold Alex's hand, but Alex pulled it away and crossed his arms over his chest. "Talk to me, baby." He begged, becoming scared.

Alex took a deep breath and started to talk in a subdued voice, looking at the carpet. "I had sex with Skinner."

Fox looked at his bent head, trying to gather his thoughts. One of his hands reached out involuntarily and touched Alex's back tentatively. "Do you want us to quit?" Fox asked, his voice breaking.

Alex looked at him, his eyes burning bright with unshed tears. "I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore."

Fox saw the pain in his eyes and was nearly overwhelmed by fear of losing his lover. "I don't want to lose you, Alex." he whispered, "But I'm afraid that has already happened."

Alex lifted his head and looked at him, really looked at him for the first time. "No, you...never. I love you."

Fox closed his eyes, smoothing his hair back with a shaking hand. He opened his eyes again and ran one hand gently across Alex's cheek.

"I love you, too. I want us to work this out, Alex."

"Me, too." Came the soft reply. He threw Fox a soft sidelong glance, took a deep breath but hesitated to speak.

"Wait." Fox smiled, a feeling of warmth and hope spreading in his stomach. He shrugged out of his jacket and sat back against the arm of the couch, motioning for Alex to come closer. He didn't look at Fox as he all but threw himself into his lover's arms, curling up in the space between his legs.

They sat like that for a long time, just soaking up the warmth of each other, knowing deep inside they would be okay again.

"Tell me what happened?" Fox asked quietly.

Alex sighed. "It happened after dinner..."

"Tuesday?"

"Yeah. I noticed he kept on watching me -"

"He does that often, you know?" Fox smiled as Alex's head jerked up to look at him.

"Really? I thought so, but I wasn't sure."

"Only when he thinks we're both not looking."

"This time I was looking, though. He stared at me for the longest time, and his eyes...I've never seen him like this before. So...vulnerable. He wanted to go then, but I convinced him to stay. Then -"

"Just wait a second. How?"

Alex tried to feign innocence. "How what?"

Fox rolled his eyes. "How did you convince him. I know Skinner. If he doesn't want to do something, he doesn't. What did you do to make him stay?"

You're too damned quick, Fox.

He averted his eyes. "I told him I had seen him."

"You'd seen him *where*? C'mon, Alex." Fox stated impatiently.

"You remember the night we had sex in his office?" Alex asked resigned.

"...yeah?"

Alex could see the wheels turning. "He was there. In the next room." He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his head under Fox's chin as he felt Fox's hands fall away from him. In the ten seconds he still had to live he might as well be near his Fox.

Nothing.

The seconds stretched.

Still nothing.

He opened his eyes carefully and slowly lifted his head. And couldn't help grinning.

Fox Mulder, Mr. Eloquence, Special Agent "I'd rather be dead than silent," rendered speechless.

Dumbstruck.

A sight to behold.

"He was there." Fox whispered, staring at him.

"Yes."

"You saw him."

"Yes."

"Let me get this right. You tried to nail me through his desk, when you *knew* that my *boss* was next door?!"

"Yes."

"Are you out of your *mind*?!!" Certainly not whispering anymore.

"You do that to me, you know?" Alex said softly, he couldn't help enjoying this.

"C'mon, Alex, don't give me this shit, I-"

"What, shit?" Alex protested. "What was I supposed to do? You, bent over a table, begging me to fuck you, Walter in the next room, jerking off-"

"He did *what*?!"

"Enjoyed the show, babe." Alex smirked.

"Oh God, " Fox groaned, his head falling backwards. "I'll never be able to look at him again."

"You already did. And, did he say something?"

Fox squinted his eyes, pondering. "No...but he was more distant than usual. Cooler."

"He's embarrassed as hell, Fox." Alex said softly.

"Fine, then there are at least two of us." Mulder muttered. "So, he stayed. What then?"

"I sucked him off." Alex stated, grinning.

Fox couldn't help grinning back. "Uh-huh. And then?"

"He fled. I haven't heard a sound from him since then." Alex looked at his hands, suddenly sad.

"Really?" Fox frowned. "That doesn't sound like Walter." He stroked Alex's hair gently. "You've fallen for him, hm?"

Alex looked at him hastily. "I love you."

"I know," Fox soothed, "but that wasn't my question."

Alex sighed. "Yes. I think so. It isn't a hard thing to do, you know."

"I know."

Alex smiled before growing serious again. "So what now? He doesn't want me anymore."

"Sure he does. That's why he didn't call."

"Because he wants me so bad. Right." Alex mocked.

"Yes, stupid. He's a honorable man. You're *my* lover, so he had to leave. Now he's feeling guilty because he started it, because he left, because he didn't call. And he can't call because he thinks he can't have you because you're already with me. But he wants you. He'd be crazy if he didn't." He cupped Alex's cheek gently.

"He said I'm beautiful." Alex whispered shyly.

"You are." Fox replied softly, sighing as Alex leaned into his touch.

"But I think he would have called if he still wanted me. I saw it in his eyes, he regretted the whole story. I can profile too, you know."

"Yeah, lover, but you're not objective."

Alex shrugged. "He wants you, though."

"How do you know that?"

"I asked him."

"You - when?" Fox asked stunned.

"Before." Alex mumbled.

Mulder had to bite his lip not to laugh. "Before. And...why did you ask?"

Alex looked at his hands again. "Because. Maybe I'm in love with him, but I love *you*. And I couldn't live without you. I just wanted him to know that."

"So what if he'd said no?"

"Then nothing."

Fox swallowed hard. "I love you, too."

Alex smiled a little. "So, what now?"

"He wants us, we want him. We'll work something out."

Right after I kick his ass because he left you like that.

"You're an alien, right? *My* Fox isn't this optimistic."

Mulder smiled. "He wasn't before he had you. You know, I haven't kissed you for a week."

"Really?" Alex raised an eyebrow. "Now that you mention it..." He looked at Fox expectantly and sighed softly as Mulder lowered his head and made him his again. Claimed him without saying a word, told him he loved him over and over again without making a sound.

When Alex had first seen a picture of Mulder, back in his Quantico-days when he hadn't known of Consortium or conspiracies, the first thing he had thought had been that no man should be allowed to have lips like that.

He moaned quietly as Fox coaxed him to open his mouth and immediately deepened the kiss. He suddenly realized how terrible he had missed Fox as his taste washed over him, leaving him defenseless as it always had.

"I need you," Fox panted as he broke the kiss, already fumbling with Alex's jeans.

"This is going to be a mess." Alex stated grinning as he freed Mulder's cock out of his suitpants.

"I don't give a damn," Fox managed as he scooted down on the couch and draped Alex on top of him, both of them groaning at that first contact when they pressed their hips together.

Alex moved his hips in slow circles, determined to drive Fox wild.

It did.

Only that it wasn't much of an advantage to Alex, because it did exactly the same to him.

He smiled down at Fox and captured those sinful lips again, exploring the devastating softness behind them. They moved in their own rhythm now, racing to release quickly.

Alex opened his eyes, still kissing Fox, and their lips and eyes never broke apart as they came together, moaning into each other's mouths, hands clutching at each other's shirts.

"I love you," Alex whispered as he kissed Fox's neck, "I missed you so bad."

"You too," Fox replied dreamily, "you, too."

************************

He cursed himself for the thousandth time.

He should have held himself in check. He was a grown man, for God's sake.

But still he couldn't help thinking about what they had done.

What *he* had done.

He shook his head and asked himself *again* how he could have let that happen.

He replayed the scene again and again, trying to spot the point of no return. After some time he was convinced he shouldn't have come to Fox's and Alex's apartment in the first place.

But his mouth...

Walter groaned and hid his face in his hands. He groaned once more as he peeked through his fingers and saw the pile of files in front of him.

He couldn't work, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat.

Fuck.

He ran around with a huge bulge in his pants the entire day, not counting the by now regular walks to the bathroom to relieve himself whenever he thought of Alex.

Like now.

Like always.

"Agent Mulder is here, sir." He heard Kim's voice over the intercom.

Great.

Just great.

What was he supposed to do now?

Act as if nothing had happened?

He could say something.

Mulder, I'm sorry, but he's just so goddamned *good* at it.

If you don't mind, I'll come by tonight and we'll do something *nice* together.

"Sir?"

"Sorry, Kim. Send him in."

Mulder came in with a stride in his step as if it was *his* office, goodlooking as always, wearing a color combination that for once didn't cause immediate temporary blindness.

So Alex got to choose this morning.

He often wondered how the two would look in bed together.

Not necessarily sleeping.

Drop it, Walter.

No tangled limbs and ragged breathing in official meetings.

"Sir?"

"Yes, Agent Mulder?"

"Sorry, but you seemed a bit distracted. Everything okay?" He looked concerned, but Walter had watched him for too long not to see the evil twinkle in his eyes.

Skinner's gut twitched.

"I suppose Agent Scully is still at Quantico?"

Mulder's "Yes, Sir." was no surprise. He had called Quantico and tried everything to get her back here in time for the meeting, but they needed her there.

No mercy for Walter Skinner.

He bravely endured the lightyears it took to go through the reports, filed Scully's away and gave Mulder's back to him for rewriting.

Like always.

Play the A.D., Walt.

These expenses are ridiculous, Mulder.

No way in hell will I sign that 302, Mulder.

I don't think aliens are penetrating the pentagon, Mulder.

"That's it, then, Agent Mulder." Walter said halfheartedly, wondering if Mulder would really let him get away this easily.

"Sir?"

Stupid, Walter. Just stupid.

"There's something I wanted to discuss with you. A private issue."

"What is it?" As soon as he had asked, the words "Big mistake" started to blink in some Mulder-sensitive region of his brain. "Big, big mistake" in red flashlights.

"I think you know what *it* is, Walter. I came home yesterday, and instead of my lover I found a lovesick puppy."

Right, Mulder. Krycek, lovesick. He'd be ripping my head off if it wasn't for you, probably.

"Mulder, I don't think that's the right time and place -"

"I know. But since you're playing dead man in private, there's not much else I can do." He looked serious now.

"So what now?" Walter asked, a little too gruffly.

Mulder sighed, a light strain obvious in his voice as he spoke, "I'd like to know what you want, Walter. I want this to be clear."

"I know what I want, and I know I can't have it. Satisfied?" he answered harshly before standing up and moving over to look out of the window.

"No, I'm not, dammit!" Mulder went to stand behind him, but managed to stay a few steps away and calm down before he continued to talk. "I want us to work this out. Alex is miserable, Walter. And you're not okay, either."

He could hardly hear Mulder's words through his racing thoughts. He had screwed up.

Big, big time.

He just hoped Mulder would be able to trust him again at some time.

To give him back that trust he had worked for, for years and years.

A precious gift, given in little pieces, one by one.

Gone now.

Maybe forever.

He jumped as he felt a hand on his back, radiating warmth for a second, then being withdrawn.

He wanted it back.

"Are you okay?"

He couldn't speak.

Couldn't move.

Couldn't even think straight.

Nothing for a few moments.

Then the sound of feet taking the last step towards him, a delicious breath fanning along his neck.

"Listen, Walter."

The ghosts of two hands, almost touching him, caressing the air just above his back, making him shiver.

"You don't have to say anything."

Hypnotizing.

He wanted to listen to that voice, lulling him into trust, into safety. Talking him into this place where he was in his dreams, where he could be with Fox and Alex and everything was allright.

Gentle words floated slowly through the fog, wanting to be heard.

He didn't want to, he wanted to stay in this soft warm place where he didn't have to think.

But there was nothing he could do to escape this voice.

Nothing.

It was devastating in its softness, never losing the direct connection to him, always there, always.

Just as he had decided to undergo the effort to get his body and breathing under control again, just then he dived up to hear, "...he told me you'd watched us, you know."

Fucking great.

Go home, Walter.

Go home, hide in a hole, and never come out again.

"I'm sorry," a hoarse voice whispered, escaping his lips in a second of momentary carelessness.

A real touch this time, one hand on each of his arms, gently caressing his biceps.

Hurling him away, knocking him off his feet, colors exploding in front of his eyes, love, want and so much shame.

"Don't be. God, I can't even be angry with you. I've never seen you like this. Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yeah." Nothing but a faint rasp. Ridiculous, he didn't even believe himself.

"Yeah right." A teasing smile sounded through. "I was angry, you know."

He couldn't help tensing, and he didn't know if it was real anymore, or if he just wanted the reward of those hands touching him for another few seconds.

"Shh. Not for the reason you think. Because you didn't call. You know him, Walter, he's so sensitive when he lets someone so close to him. I had to listen to all that 'I'm not worth shit'-crap over and over again. I'm happy I got through to him at all. Anyway, he thought you didn't want him. I told him that wasn't even a possibility, but I still haven't convinced him."

Too true. How anyone could not want Alex, or Mulder for that matter, would always be a mystery to him. He had to smile.

"I saw that. And he told me that he asked you if you wanted me, too."

Gee, thanks, Alex. Couldn't wait to tell him that, could you?

"Anyway, I want you to know that we both want to work that out with you. We don't want to talk you into something, but think about it. Take your time. You're always welcome, no matter what you decide."

He felt the presence fade slowly as Fox walked away, leaving him stunned, no thoughts left on his mind when there were millions flying around at the same time, making him dizzy.

"You could *share* him?" he blurted out, not able to comprehend anything.

He still couldn't look at Mulder, couldn't stand the beauty of the man, but he knew exactly how Fox looked at that very moment, put together from the countless images in his memory, and even that was almost too much to bear.

"I could share him. He could share me. We could share you. That's what relationships are about, Walter." Fox said softly as he made his was back to the window, standing in front of Walter just as he closed his eyes.

And kissed him.

Kissed him and left a gentle burning mark on his cheek.

Give me your gun now and I'll call my shrink.

Kissed him and walked out of the room, taking the last bit of Walter's sanity with him.

************************

He had to think it through.

He had to, but he couldn't.

They had overwhelmed him.

Stolen his heart.

He snorted. Pathetic, Walter.

Make a decision.

That's ridiculous.

There were the two men that he wanted more than anything in his life.

And they wanted him.

Unbelievable, miraculous, but they wanted him nonetheless.

It made him ache with happiness.

And still - doubts.

So many doubts.

They made him hesitant. Made him think.

How could this work?

It was difficult enough to live together with a man in public.

But no, he didn't do things halfway.

No, not him.

Walter Skinner wanted two men.

The two most wonderful men in the world.

The only two people in the world who could make him forget his misery, who could take away his loneliness.

The only ones who could make him happy.

So happy he knew he had never been happy before.

So happy he didn't know how to live without them.

And they wanted him in it.

They wanted him.

Him.

He had to make a decision, but he slowly realized it had already been done.

************************

"See that scratch?"

"You don't have to whisper, Alex. No, I don't see it."

"Shh! Be quiet, dammit! There!"

"...yes, so what? A scratch. Locks get scratches."

"It wasn't there when I went to pick you up."

"What! You keep notes on our locks?"

"Shhhhhh!!! Someone has to do it! Shut up now!"

...

"Don't pout, babe. C'mon, you know I can't stand that."

...

"Would you say something? Please?"

"You said I should be quiet."

"Not *this* quiet. Kiss me?"

...

...

"Now, could we maybe take this inside?"

"Someone's in there."

"God, Alex, *I'm* supposed to be paranoid."

"Yes, but that was my job once. Trust me."

...

"Okay. So what now?"

"Draw your gun."

Both their guns drawn, Alex opened the door carefully, not making a sound. Fox stepped in behind him, scanning the apartment quickly.

They both stood paralyzed as they stared at the figure that came out of the kitchen.

Walter Skinner.

An apron.

A wooden spoon.

A smile.

A chuckle, as he watched the two men, standing stock-still, weapons in hand, dumbstruck.

"I hope you're hungry." And he disappeared back into the kitchen.

Alex and Fox stared at each other, slowly lowering their guns.

"That was Skinner, right?" Alex asked Fox, a huge grin starting to form on his face.

"That was Skinner." Fox grinned back.

They went around the corner and stopped dead in their tracks again when they saw the table.

Tablecloth. Candles. Flowers.

"Oh wow." Alex whispered, one hand fingering the soft cloth tentatively. He looked at Fox and then at the kitchen door, smiling diffidently.

Fox hugged him and kissed his neck before whispering into his ear, "I'll grab a shower, you go and talk to him."

Alex kissed him back. "I love it when you read my thoughts."

He walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, watching Skinner cook.

Walter felt Alex's unmistakable presence behind him and was suddenly ridiculously afraid of turning around and facing him. So he continued to fuss around the pots although the dinner was almost ready.

"It's good to see you here." The soft voice startled him.

In a rush, his shame and guilt which he had forced into some far away corner of his mind to be able to plan and do this flooded him again, painful and paralyzing. He tried to breathe as he took the apron off and fingered it nervously.

"Forgive me." He choked out finally, despised by his sudden urge to cry, feeling a need to ask for forgiveness over and over again.

Surprised, he suddenly found a shoulder to lean on, leather to clench his fists in, arms around him and a voice near his ear.

"It's okay, now. You're here, it's okay." Alex whispered, rocking him gently.

Nothing like the submissive surrender he had shown the last time, Walter wondered dimly.

They stood like this for a few minutes as Walter tried to calm down, letting Alex soothe him, stealing some precious moments of weakness.

He missed Fox's head peeking into the kitchen, smiling at his lover in silent agreement before disappearing again.

"What are you cooking?" Alex asked softly.

Walter exhaled slowly, coming back to reality. "Gnocchi."

"Great!" Alex left the embrace and left the lid of one pot. "Mmm...did you buy them at the new Italian store down the street?"

"No." Walter hugged him from behind. "I made them at home and brought them here."

"Really?" Alex turned in his arms and gave him an amazed look. "I mean, you can really cook?"

"Just because you and Fox can't, doesn't mean no man can, you know." Walter arched an eyebrow.

Alex just chuckled and kissed him softly on the lips. "I'll better go and see what Fox is doing."

"Do that. I have to finish the sauce anyway." He kissed him back, just as softly. Didn't deepen the kiss because he knew he would never finish the sauce then.

Alex smiled and went out of the kitchen, shrugging out of his jacket. He went past Fox who sat on the couch and looked at him expectantly.

"Hey!" Fox grabbed Alex's wrist. "Don't wanna tell me what's going on?"

Alex let himself be dragged on the couch into his lover's arms.

"He's cooking great stuff in there."

"Hhm-hhm..." Fox mumbled, nibbling at Alex's ear.

"I mean, really cooking. No cans and stuff:"

Fox grinned. "So you think we should keep him?"

"Oh yeah, can we keep him, pleeease?" Alex begged, starting to giggle. "You know," he continued, growing serious, "he's so...diffident. So wary."

"Maybe he just needs a little reassuring."

"Yeah...we should show him how much we want him here."

"Exactly, lover." Fox bent his head and kissed Alex thoroughly. So thoroughly they didn't hear come Skinner back out of the kitchen.

"Gentlemen, dinner is served."

Fox looked at Alex. "Keep. Definitely."

************************

"That was delicious." Fox sighed contentedly and leaned back in his chair. He brushed his hand slowly over Walter's. "Thank you." Mulder said softly, noticing that Walter averted his eyes.

"You're welcome." He replied, meeting Mulder's eyes again.

"Walter?" Alex asked. "You're still not at ease around us, are you?"

"I don't know." Walter murmured. "I'm still afraid you'll throw me out every second. I behaved like a total jerk."

Alex grinned. "Yeah - but I told you it was okay." He took Walter's hand. "C'mon."

Fox walked after them to the couch. A warm feeling started to spread in Walter's stomach as Fox and Alex settled him down between them.

He realized that, although he had told himself over and over again he should just take what he was offered and enjoy it as long as it may last, he just had to ask them this one question that had been burning in his mind. "I just don't understand why you want me."

He leaned forward, took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.

Alex met Fox's eyes over Skinner's head and smiled encouragingly.

"Well..." Fox started. "You were always there for us. You helped Alex a lot, we wouldn't have made it without you. No matter how big our problems were, you found a way to solve them. You risked a lot, although you didn't get anything out of it. You became a friend. And somehow it became more. We noticed how soft you are inside, and this great growl you do when someone's coming too close. I don't know, we just fell for you."

Walter knew there was no way that Fox was lying, but it was so hard to believe.

So damned hard.

Although he wanted to.

Oh, how much he wanted to.

He sighed.

"Why do you want us?" Alex asked softly, gently stroking his back.

He snorted and sat back against the couch, looking at Fox and Alex who had both scooted forward a little, focused on him.

"You're so beautiful." He shrugged helplessly. "You take my breath away. I have to think about you constantly, anytime, anywhere. You're young, happy..." he became quiet.

"In other words, you think you're old, ugly and unhappy." Fox analyzed to the point.

"Something like that." Walter murmured.

"But that's not true." Alex said gently, stroking his thigh. "You have no idea what you look like. You should see yourself when you enter the room. Like a natural leader. You make people shiver, you know. And yet you're such a teddy bear inside. I was so amazed when I finally saw you're not the hardass you wanted to make us believe you were. And you have a body to die for."

Oh wow.

Walter stared.

"He's good at that, huh?" Fox whispered and kissed his ear. "You don't have to say much. Just tell me if I need to throw a third pillow onto the bed."

"What, you don't sleep on the couch?" Walter joked weakly.

"Nope." Alex replied. "There wasn't one that's broad enough."

"Pillow?" Fox asked.

This was just too good to be real.

"Pillow." He dragged both men back into his arms.

They snuggled close to each other and grew silent, growing accustomed to each other.

Fox and Alex startled as Walter suddenly started to laugh silently.

"What?" Fox asked, grinning broadly.

"I don't know, I've never felt this good." Walter smiled back at him.

"Great." Alex said huskily. "And that's just he beginning."

He kissed Walter's neck and worked his way up to Walter's ear. "You should kiss Fox." He whispered, chuckling at Walter's gasp. "His mouth was made for kissing, believe me."

"What's up?" Fox demanded softly.

"He says I should kiss you." Walter said hoarsely, Alex teeth at his ear driving him crazy.

"Then let's just pretend he's the Director." Fox smiled evilly. He scooted up until he could reach Walter's mouth and captured it gently, moaning softly as Walter's tongue skimmed his lips.

Walter grasped Fox's hips and drew him closer, his tongue diving in deeper as Mulder's taste exploded on his tongue, arousal burning through him.

He could still feel Alex behind him, kissing and biting his neck and shoulders.

"Bed." Alex stated after a few minutes, and Fox and Walter broke apart reluctantly.

They stumbled into the bedroom and landed on the bed tangled together, hands moving frantically to remove shirts, pants and shoes, lips kissing every reachable part of each other.

Alex was still behind Skinner, kissing his shoulders, his hands stroking from Walter's sides to his thighs and back again.

Walter gasped as Alex bit down into his shoulder and tightened his grip around Fox's waist, still kissing him because Alex had been so right.

Made for kissing, indeed.

He didn't know how he could ever look at him again without wanting to kiss him. That would cause some problems at work.

And he didn't care.

He didn't care one bit because nothing had ever felt this right.

This good.

He turned to taste Alex again, and God, had he missed kissing him.

He could feel Fox behind him now, teasing his nipples into hardness. Alex's hand found his cock, and he wasn't even able to make a sound. Just as he thought he had lost his voice forever, a wrenched groan broke out of him, and he pushed into Alex's hand desperately.

He would explode.

Like a teenager.

This was just too much.

Too much.

"Wait," he begged. "Not so fast, please..."

Alex grinned and reached over Walter's shoulder, threaded a hand through Fox's hair and dragged his head close to kiss him.

Walter laid back, entranced by the sight. He could almost see the love pouring out of them as they devoured each other, and he reached out and touched both of them. So different, yet to him they were as perfect as they could possibly be.

He scooted lower and turned his attentions to Fox, kissing down his chest until he found a nipple. Biting down softly he smiled at the little yelp he earned and sucked hard, his hands roaming over Fox's hard belly and thighs.

He moaned as he reached Fox's cock, rock hard as his own, and realized the two had stopped kissing as he heard Fox's panting, "Please, Walter, I need you...need more...take me, please..."

His heart skipped a beat and he looked at Alex, a little wearily, but Alex just smiled and said, "Do it. He needs you."

God.

And how he needed them, too.

He looked at Fox, lips parted and glistening with moisture, begging, demanding to be kissed. So he complied, pondering how one could become addicted to a taste as suddenly all thoughts left his mind.

The movement slowed down and he was slowly becoming able to form something coherent again.

Alex's hand, he realized.

On his cock.

Lubing him up.

He thrusted frantically into the slick hand, craving the touch, the friction; Alex behind and Fox in front of him, one jolt of pleasure after another.

"Not so fast. You'll need your strength." Alex whispered into his ear, slowing him down.

"Is that your way of telling me I'm too old for this?" Walter grinned at him.

"Nope." Alex chuckled. "That's my way of telling you you'll need your strength for *him*." He looked pointedly at Fox, who had his eyes closed, hands clutching at Walter's upper arms, grinding his cock slowly into Walter's thigh.

"Believe me, I know. Look what you've done to him."

"Jesus," Walter whispered. "I could come right now just from looking at him."

"Yeah, me too." Alex smiled. "But you'd miss the best thing."

"Could you maybe postpone the discussion, I'm dying here." Fox looked up to them under heavy-lidded eyes.

"Give me your hand," Alex said as Walter bent forward to kiss Fox again. v He stretched his hand backwards and felt Alex smearing lube onto his fingers.

He was careful not to think of where these fingers would be in just a few seconds.

Really, like a fucking teenager.

"Relax." Alex soothed.

Bright boy.

Walter clenched his teeth, and the one thing he would never be able to accomplish in this situation was to *relax*.

Dammit, wasn't Alex seeing what they were doing to him?

He turned his head and glared at Alex, who was still trying to calm him down. To his delight it worked. Alex looked down and mumbled something like an apology.

Walter grinned.

I'll have to remember that.

He waited until Alex looked at him again and kissed him gently, all the time trying to ignore the sounds Fox was producing.

Didn't work.

Not a chance.

"Help me?" he asked Alex softly and earned a brilliant smile.

"Give him one finger at a time, but make it quick."

"Good point." Walter breathed hard as he rolled Fox onto his stomach, one hand already searching for his cleft. He was thankful for Alex's presence behind him, guiding him without a sound as he worked one finger into Fox, amazed by the heat that seemed to grip him immediately.

How in the world could he forget how that felt?

He knew it would be too much if he actually *looked* at his finger disappearing into Fox's hole, but he heard Alex's panting from behind and knew that he was just as aroused as himself.

Fox was pushing back eagerly now, making the most amazing sounds.

"One more." Alex reminded him breathlessly, and obediently he pushed one more finger in.

Fox bucked against him and grinded out, "Please, now Walter, no more...Alex, tell him *now*!"

"Yes, he's ready," Alex complied, smiling.

"But –" Walter tried to protest, stilled by Alex's finger on his lips.

"He's ready. Trust me. Just do it."

Walter exhaled deeply and started to roll Fox over onto his back, just to be stopped by Alex's hand on his arm.

He just had to smile at the imploring look Alex gave him.

"What's up?" he asked softly.

"Hands and knees, please?" Alex asked diffidently, somehow managing to shake Walter even more.

"Anything you want, baby." He answered gently, noticing the flash in Alex's eyes as he heard the endearment and something else he didn't had the time to explore right then.

Right then, he could think about nothing else than being inside this miracle of a man who was sprawled out in front of him.

"That okay with you?" Alex asked Fox, getting back a smirk between ragged breaths. "You bet."

And he started to position himself, throwing Walter a hot glance. "C'mon."

Oh yes.

He kneeled behind Fox, his hands stroking the muscular buttocks gently, his eyes darting back to Alex.

And Alex understood again and knelt beside him, stroking his back reassuringly. "Don't worry about me. Just let me watch you." He said huskily before moving away again, sitting down against the headboard.

Walter closed his eyes.

It didn't stop the images, though.

Fox, willingly, wanting him.

Alex, watching them, stroking himself slowly.

Himself, entering Fox slowly, carefully, overwhelmed by the unbelievable heat and smoothness around his cock.

He heard Alex's and Fox's moans mingle as he slid deeper and deeper into Fox, and his own voice met them as the wonderful friction became unbearable.

So he slid out again, but not all the way, no, not all the way, just a little, so it didn't take too much time to be fully inside him again.

A movement caught his eye and he saw Alex moving towards Fox, his eyes never leaving Walter's.

Fox bucked against him wildly, wanting him to go faster, harder, but he couldn't, he knew he wouldn't last.

Alex was kneeling in front of Fox now, eyes closed in bliss as Fox's tongue swirled around the head of his cock before taking him all the way in; and Walter couldn't stop anymore, no way with these two men with him.

He started to thrust faster, sweat glistening on his body as he watched Alex glide in and out of Fox's mouth, hands tangled in Fox's hair.

Walter reached out and took Alex's left hand, interlacing their fingers. His other hand reached for Fox's cock, stroking him hard; he could hear him moaning around Alex's cock.

He felt the connection between them as he slammed into Fox, looking straight into Alex's eyes, hissing "Let go."

And Alex did.

His eyes locked with Walter's as he slid into Fox's mouth a last time, groaning desperately as he came, his body arching beautifully, his fingers squeezing Walter's hand.

Walter gasped and stroke Fox harder, thrusting faster and faster as he heard Fox's cries, feeling his own orgasm approaching.

He wanted to close his eyes but he couldn't, couldn't look away from Fox moving under him, from Alex lying already sated against the headboard, still holding his hand, a dazzling smile directed at him.

He grabbed Fox and moved him up against his chest, being as close to him as he could, and as he felt Fox tense he couldn't hold back anymore, he slammed into him and exploded at the same second he felt Fox spurting over his hand and Alex's eyes still on them.

Now he was squeezing Alex's hand as he came, feeling one with them, united, connected, loved, happy for the first time.

Fox's head was lying against his shoulder as he came down, the colors and lightning slowly disappearing.

But the feeling remained.

Trust. Love. Happiness.

Together.

*********
THE END
*********
by Jadzia
15.02.99 – 12.05.99