Decisions

By Tanith

Rating - NC17

Pairing - Frank/Jake

Summery - Frank has to deal with his feelings

Decisions

By Tanith

It had been two months since Jake had walked out of UC and nobody except Frank knew the real reason. All he had said was, he had some personal problems to sort out and wouldn’t be back. They could see he had been in a fight by the state of his face.

Since then Frank had been a nightmare to work with. He had been snapping at everyone, assigning them to really stupid tasks, making them work late for no reason. In the end Alex deided enough was enough. She stormed into his office.

"Right that is it Frank" she shouted "Ever sine Jake left, you have been a pain in the butt. I for one am sick of it. You either change your attitude or I am following Jake and leaving too"

"End of the week suit you?" replied Frank.

Alex glared at him. At the very least she expected a slanging match but not this.

"You are one arrogant, self-righteous, self centered bastard. End of the week will be fine" she said.

Frank didn’t look up until she had left the room. Then he smashed the mug of coffee he was holding against the wall, got up and stood by the window.

"You heard?" she said to the others.

"Yeah, we did. What is wrong with him lately. You’re not really going to leave are you?" asked Cody.

"I don’t know. Part of me says to hell with him and the job and the other part of me says this will blow over. God knows Cody. But whatever is bugging him, I wish he would sort it out" Alex replied.

With that she got her jacket and left, she needed some space. They all heard the crash from Franks office but none of them were going to find out what it was.

Frank watched Alex get into her car and wondered how everything had got to this stage. All that she said about him was right, at least lately it had been. If he could just stop being a coward and go and see Jake, then maybe he could sort it out. His mind went back to the night before Jake walked out.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It was late and the others had gone home, there was only Jake and Frank in the office, just clearing up the last of the paperwork from the case they had been working on. Frank was looking over some of it on his desk, when Jake walked in with two coffees.

"Here Frank, thought we could do with this. The others should be helping us, how come you let them go home" he asked

"Well they had done their reports, no need for all of us to stay. Give it another half hour and we’ll also call it a day" replied Frank.

Jake secretly was pleased that he had this opportunity to be alone with Frank, there was something he wanted to talk to him about. But he would wait till the timing was right. Just then his boss called him over to look at one of the statements, he couldn’t make out one of the words on it.

Jake stood behind him and leaned over to look. Telling him what it was, Jake lingered a bit longer as the smell of Franks aftershave invaded his senses. Realizing what he was doing, he stood up. Just then Frank arched his back and rolled his neck, he was getting stiff from sitting there all that time.

"Well I am going to have a long soak in the bath when I get home" he said "I’m stiff all over. What about you?"

"Might go for a beer first. You need a massage, do you good" he said.

"Yeah, when do I have time for one of them?" said Frank smiling.

"How about now"

Jake stood behind Frank and kneaded his shoulders and neck. Frank was a little unsure but it did feel good and he let Jake carry on.

"You’re good, where did you learn that?" asked the man.

"Oh, used to do the Fathers neck at the mission, one of the other residents taught me"

Nothing was said for a little while and then Frank said that was enough, it felt a lot better. Jake stopped but not before he bent down and kissed the mans neck. Why the hell he did that, he had no idea but he was going to regret it. Frank pulled away and jumped up.

"What the bloody hell do you think you are doing…get out" he shouted.

"Frank, I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d mind. I read the signs wrong" said Jake.

"What signs, I’ve never given you any signs that I was that way inclined. I’m not, so don’t ever touch me in that way again"

"Come on Frank, it is well known in certain circles that you had a lover once and it wasn’t a woman. I thought you fancied me and wouldn’t mind if I made the first move" said Jake.

Frank was shocked, how the hell did he find that out, he thought no-one knew about Jeff and anyway that was years ago, when he was a young rookie. He had been married since and had put that episode of his life behind him.

Jake had stepped nearer and put a hand on Franks shoulder, he didn’t know why after what had been said but the reaction he got wasn’t the one he expected. Frank swung round and hit the man hard on the jaw, knocking him across the room.

"I said don’t touch me again, now get your stuff and get out. I never want to see you here again" shouted Frank.

The man got up, holding his face. How could he have got this wrong, what a mess. Walking out of the office he picked up his things, left a note for the others and left the building.

Frank sat in his chair, his mind in a whirl at what had just happened. Why had he hit Jake, that was not what he wanted to do. He wanted to go after him and say sorry but he couldn’t. That was two months ago and he hadn’t been able to get that night out of his mind.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

He was brought back to reality by Cody coming into the office with some files about the two men they were after.

"Thanks Cody" he said.

Cody was just about to shut the door on his way out when Frank called him back.

"Cody, can you deal with this case alone?" Frank asked.

"Yes, I think so, with Monica and Alex’s help, why?" he asked.

"Because I am going away for a couple of days. I have some things to sort out and I am sure you lot could do with being away from me for a while"

"Sure thing boss…look Frank, Alex didn’t mean what she said, it’s just that…."

"Cody, she was right and I am going to do something about it"

He grabbed his jacket and walked out into the outer office and told Monica that he was leaving everything in their capable hands. As he went out of the door he stuck his head back round.

"Oh and Cody, tell Alex that she can stay if she wants, see you in a few days, I hope"

A little later Alex turned up with sandwiches and coffee, they told her what Frank had said. She couldn’t believe it.

"Do you think he is alright, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything" she said.

"Well whatever you said, seems to have brought him to a decision. Let’s hope it is the right one, come on, let’s try and find out where this guy is hiding out"

Frank drove around for a while and then went down to one of the lakes to think. Ever since that night, he hadn’t been able to get Jake out of his mind. That simple kiss had aroused feelings that he though had been buried long ago. It was probably the reason he had hit him because he was terrified of what could happen.

Now Jake was gone and he had to find him. He knew the man had moved out of his apartment a few days later. Rumor had it that he had gone on a fishing trip. The only place he might get any answers would be the mission. That was he went next.

"Father, I have to find Jake, do you know where he is?" asked Frank.

"I do but he swore me to secrecy, he wanted no-one to know where he was" the man replied.

"Did he say why he left?"

"Just that there had been some trouble and he had made a big mistake, that was all"

"He didn’t make any mistakes Father, I did. Now would you tell me where he is…please" asked Frank.

The man thought for a moment and then looked at Frank closely.

"He isn’t going to get hurt is he? Because if I thought he was…."

"No…he’ll not get hurt by me, could be the other way round"

"Okay I’m taking a big risk here. He’s in Alaska, at a place called Valdez. Told me he would be there till winter set in" the Father said.

"Thank you, I really appreciate this"

Frank shook the mans hand and then turned to leave. A voice made him turn back.

"Frank…do you love him?" asked the Father.

Frank was shocked at the question and looked at the man questioningly.

"I’ve always known what Jake was and also that he was falling in love with someone at work. I knew it wasn’t the girls which left only you and Cody. Cody is going out with a girl from here. It was you he was talking about when he said he had made a terrible mistake wasn’t it?" asked the Father.

"Yes…only I was the one who got it wrong. I overreacted, he brought feelings to the surface I had long since buried. It’s taken me two months to realize it was my fault he left, not his. As for the question…I don’t know. But I would like to find out" Frank told him.

"You might wonder why I am asking. I may be a priest but I have come to accept peoples preferences. It gets me in trouble sometimes. My way of thinking is if people are happy, who am I to say it’s wrong just because they are of the same sex. There is too muh hate in this world, two much prejudice. If I am responsible for bringing a bit of love into it, then who am I to condemn it. I would be a very poor Christian"

"Thank you" said Frank "I’ll try not to let you down"

With that the man left and drove to his apartment to collect some things and book a flight to Alaska. Then he phoned the office.

"Ah Cody, it’s Frank. Look you’ll have to look after things for a little longer, I’ll be away for a few weeks, maybe. If anyone asks I’m on an assignment" said Frank.

"Okay boss, no problem. Can I ask where you’ll be if we need you?" he asked.

"Alaska and I’ll ring you when I get there" replied Frank as he put the phone down.

Cody looked at the others, they had put the phone on speaker and all heard what Frank had said.

"Alaska…what the hell is he going to Alaska for?" asked Alex.

"I have no idea" replied Cody "But let’s hope he finds what it is he is looking for and come back in a better frame of mind"

Cody had the feeling that he knew what all this was about…Jake….his girlfriend had told him that Jake had gone to Alaska a few weeks ago, now Frank was going there. Suddenly it dawned on him what was going on and he smiled to himself, wondering if it would work out. He continued on the computer before the girls noticed his smile and started to ask questions.

Frank arrived at the airport to wait for his flight to Anchorage in Alaska then he would hire a car to drive to Valdez. He didn’t know anything about the place and would have to find out when he got there. It was dark when the plane touched down and after collecting his bags he made arrangements to pick up a car the next morning. In the meantime he would check into a hotel for the night.

It wasn’t a very big hotel but he found a couple a maps of the area and the man behind the desk was very helpful. It seemed that Valdez was mainly made up of cabins which were rented out to tourists but at this time of year, coming up for winter, there was only the odd person there. Normally for the fishing in the area.

"If I wanted to find a friend in one of the cabins, is it easy?" asked Frank.

"Fairly so, tell you what I’ll do, the local sheriff will know who is up there, I’ll give him a ring and let you know" said the man.

Frank thanked him and went to bed. About 8am there was a knock at the door and opening it, Frank found the sheriff standing there.

"I understand you wanted to find a friend up at the cabins" he said.

"Yes, come in"

"Well there are only five people up there at the moment. I keep a list just in case of accidents or any of them go missing. Look I have to ask, this person is not in trouble is he?"

"No nothing like that, he left some friends in Chicago who are worried about him. I came out to see if he was okay" said Frank.

"Hang on, you’re Frank Donovan. I thought I recognized you, been on the TV with that kidnapping case" said the sheriff.

"That’s right. The friend I’m looking for works for us, he is one of my agents. Just had some problems to deal with. Please keep it to yourself that I am here, I want to surprise him and to have a few days away from work" said Frank.

"No problem Sir" replied the sheriff getting up to leave. "If you need any help while you are here, please don’t hesitate"

Frank thanked him and looking at the map, found out exactly where Jakes cabin was. Getting dressed and putting his stuff into the car, he told the man that he might be back, he didn’t know yet.

"No problem Mr Donovan but if you like, you can take the cabin which is about half a mile from your friends. Here is the key, the sheriff left it just in case" said the man.

"Oh right, thanks, would be great, how much is it?" asked Frank.

"$100 a week and all the provisions you want can be bought over the road"

Frank paid him and left. Then walked across to the small store and bought all the things he thought he would need, including some fishing gear, just in case. Getting to the cabin, he unloaded all the stuff and decided to change into something more casual and suitable for the weather.

He didn’t want to go barging in and making Jake leave for somewhere else, he wanted to take this slow. So he went for a walk, in the general direction of Jakes cabin, keeping out of sight. He saw the man sitting on the small porch sorting out a fishing reel. He looked well and it took all his strength not to go walking over there.

Soon Jake got up and took the fishing rods that were leaning against the cabin, slung a bag over his shoulder and walked off towards the small lake that came off the river. Frank went back to his cabin and putting on a warm jacket, getting some sandwiches made and a flask of coffee, put them in a bag and walked in the direction that his friend had gone. He hoped he didn’t have to spend too long out there, he was getting a cold or something and didn’t feel that fantastic.

Getting to the lake, he saw that Jake had set up about 200 yards away but not wanting to be too close just yet, Frank walked round so that he was more or less opposite him. He could casually walk round later.

Jake saw this man walk over and set up his gear, another idiot, he thought. He hadn’t caught anything for about three days and he was getting annoyed about it. This time he was changing his bait. As he sat there, thoughts drifted back to his friends, in particular Frank.

Why had he kissed him that night and blown his friendship and job in one easy lesson. And why on earth did he push it so that Frank hit him. Boy he had got that one wrong. He had fancied Frank the first time he saw him and then when he found out that he had had a male lover, he found himself more and more attracted to him and even found himself falling in love with him.

He had been out here for over a month now and he still missed him and of course the others. Also there was the work, he loved being a UC agent, the danger, excitement and the fulfillment. He blinked hard to stop the tears. Thinking how stupid they would think he was if they saw him cry but he couldn’t help it. It was more because of his stupidity and also because he was lonely.

Never been so lonely but he couldn’t go back, not now.

Looking around he spotted the man fishing on the other side of the lake, he wondered if he had caught anything. He could go over and say hello, at least it would be someone to talk to for a while. Oh why not, he thought, it was now later afternoon and they had both been there nearly all day. Getting his bag, he made sure the rods were okay and started to walk round the lake.

Frank had been watching him, except when he caught a fish, then when he looked up he saw the man picking up his bag. He thought he was fed up and was packing up his stuff. Then he saw him starting to walk towards where he was sitting. What was he going to do now. He wanted to see the man but he wanted to make the move and now Jake was walking towards him.

He sat on the rock with his back to the direction that Jake would come and then see what happened when the man saw who it was. He hoped that he wouldn’t run. About five minutes that a voice spoke behind him.

"Hi, thought I would come over and see if you wanted some company" said Jake.

"I would love some Jake" said Frank.

Jake heard the voice and couldn’t believe it and walked around to see the mans face. It was Frank.

"Frank, what the hell are you doing here?" asked Jake shocked.

Frank looked up at him.

"I came to find you, to apologize, to see if anything can be salvaged from what I did in Chicago" the man said.

"Salvaged, what the hell do you want to salvage" said Jake "You made it perfectly clear that you was disgusted with me and hit me to make the point. You shouldn’t have come out here Frank"

With that he hurried off towards his cabin, leaving his rods at the lake. Why the hell had he spoke to Frank like that. It was the last thing he had wanted to do. He had just been thinking about the man and wishing that things could be okay between them and now he blew it again.

Frank saw him start to run back to his cabin and getting up, decided quickly that he had to follow or he could lose him forever. By the time he got to the cabin, Jake was already inside, throwing some things into a bag. The man walked in the open door and Jake looked up.

"What are you running from. I was the one who came looking for you. If I hadn’t wanted to see you, do you think I would have come all this way. Please Jake, let’s talk, at least" said Frank.

"Oh Frank, I’m sorry for what I said out there but I don’t think there is anything else to say. I blew everything in Chicago that night and nothing can change that" Jake replied.

"All I want is a chance, you can do that one thing for me can’t you. Please" said Frank.

Jake looked at him and nodded.

"Okay, I owe you that much. Want a coffee?" he asked.

Frank nodded and taking off his jacket, sat on the small sofa watching Jake. Neither of them said a word till the man sat down on the chair opposite.

"I’m sorry for what I did. I should never have reacted like that. I knew that one day someone would find out about my past. But I didn’t think anyone would want to…fancied me, not now I am older. And you took me by surprise, you were the last person I thought would want to…" he said.

"Kiss you, is that what you were going to say" replied Jake "I didn’t think I would ever have the guts to do it. But massaging your neck, you had no idea what you were doing to me. It turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. Also telling me that has probably eased your conscience hasn’t it? It’s not as though it’s the first time that a man has kissed you, I knew all about your lover and had done for a long time. that’s why I took a chance but as usual the great Frank Donovan was scared"

"What the hell do you mean scared, I’m not scared of anything" retorted Frank.

"Yes you are, you’re scared of commitment, scared to let your feelings show, scared to let anyone see the real Frank. Well you blew it that night, you showed what you really felt about me. Now get out, you should never have come here" said Jake angrily.

"I had to come, I have had a long time to think about all this. I couldn’t just rush in just because you kissed me. Okay yes I’m scared, scared of getting hurt, isn’t everyone" said Frank "But if you want me to leave I will, I thought we might be able to sort this out"

Frank finished the coffee and picked up his jacket. He was about to walk out the door when Jake called him.

"Frank, by the way, I owe you something"

With that he hit Frank hard in the mouth, knocking him against the wall.

"I suppose I deserved that" he said.

"Now we are even" replied Jake.

Frank wiped the blood from his mouth and walked out of the door and went back to his cabin. Shutting the door he thought about the day. How could he have got this all wrong. He poured himself a drink and sat by the fire staring into the flames. He could understand why Jake was angry and had been right in what he said. When it came to love, he was a coward, that was why he had spent all those years alone. Picking up the bottle, he resumed his position on the sofa. He hadn’t got drunk for a long time but he knew that tonight he would.

Jake leant on the table when Frank had gone. Why had he done that. he was just as stubborn as Frank. The man had come all that way to sort out this mess and all he could do was shout at him and hit him. Frank told him that he was staying in the cabin over the ridge and he just hoped that the man was still there. He had to go and see him, fool that he was.

"What am I doing, worrying about that idiot" he said aloud.

For about three hours Jake sat there thinking and then he got up, put on his jacket, picked up a torch and went outside. He would go over to Franks cabin and try and say sorry at least before the man went back to Chicago.

Frank had drunk the whole bottle of whiskey and he felt sick, both from what had happened and the drink. After the third trip to the bathroom, he collapsed on the sofa. If he had eaten something during the day, he wouldn’t have felt as bad.

Jake reached the cabin without serious injury, the path up there was strewn with rocks and roots of trees. He knocked on the door but got no answer. He knew Frank was still there as his car was parked outside. After the third time, he went to walk away but decided to look through the window just in case Frank was only ignoring him. He saw the man slumped across the sofa. Thinking the worst, he tried the door and finding it unlocked, he went in and hurried over to the man. He saw the empty bottle beside the sofa.

"You fool Frank, you never could take your drink" said Jake.

He lifted the man onto the sofa properly and put a cushion under his head, then got a blanket from the bedroom and draped it over the man. He had better stay there just in case the man needed him. He stoked up the fire and made himself a coffee. It was nearly 9pm, so he sat on the chair and waited for Frank to come round. He must have fallen asleep because he woke to the sound of the chain in the bathroom being pulled. Frank came back into the room, holding his head.

"Feeling better?" asked Jake.

The man jumped as he hadn’t noticed him there.

"Jake, where did you come from?" he asked sitting down.

"I came to apologize and found you passed out on the sofa. Thought I had better look after you. Fancy something to eat or drink, coffee I mean?" he asked.

"Yeah, coffee would be fine thanks. I should know better than to drink whiskey, it never has agreed with me"

"Whiskey hasn’t, neither has beer, remember the xmas party? Do you mind me being here?" Jake asked.

"No, of course not, I am glad you came. Oh my head and stomach, be back in a minute"

Frank disappeared in the bathroom again and when he returned, Jake had put the coffee on the small table and sat back in the chair.

"So where do we go from here, can we talk civilly about this now?" asked Jake "I should never have hit you last night, it was very childish after all this time. I just think I still had some anger from that night, I thought I was over it"

"Well we can try. I have one question, why did you leave, not only your job, but Chicago as well?" asked Frank.

Jake got up and lit up a cigarette something which he had taken up and leant on the old fireplace where a fire was blazing. He bent down and put another log on it.

"I couldn’t stay, I would never have been able to look you in the face again, nor the others. They would have found out sooner or later about what I did and about why. And those things you had kept quiet about would have been known by everyone. So would the department and I would rather resign than be booted out for my sexual preferences. By the way, what do they know about you being up here?"

"They know I am in Alaska but not why. I had to get out of there. Alex was threatening to leave, then it would have been the others too" said Frank.

Jake sat down and frowned at Frank, not understanding what had been going on.

"Since that night, I have been a pain in the arse, nothing anyone has done has been right, I’ve made their lives a misery. So it was either let them go or try and sort myself out"

Jake got up again and went to make some food, asking Frank if he wanted some. The man nodded and followed him into the kitchen area. He seemed to be a lot calmer than he was the night before thought Frank, maybe they would sort this out, he would just have to be a bit careful what he said, just in case.

"You a pain in the arse…never" said Jake with a smile on his face "you were never that bad. But why did it affect you so much. You got rid of me, I was no risk to you anymore, why take it out on them?"

"Because…I don’t know"

"Because…because what Frank, come on tell me. It’s truth time"

Frank sat on the stool near the table and took a deep breath. If he wanted anything to come out of this situation, for once he would have to be honest with Jake and that was something that he had not been with anyone for a long time. he always kept things back even if he lost out.

"That night when you kissed me, it brought back memories and feelings that I thought I had buried. The ones about being with a man. You took me by surprise, no-one had ever done that to me for many years. I had never allowed myself to get in that position. I over-reacted and told you to get out but then you came over and tried to say sorry or whatever. I thought you were going to kiss me again, and I hit you. But since then I have tried to ignore it all but can’t"

"And how do you feel now?" asked Jake wondering if it was the right thing to say.

"I knew exactly what I was going to say to you when I found you. Apologize, get you to come back to UC, move back to Chicago and now that I have found you and what happened yesterday…oh Jake I don’t know"

He went back into the lounge and stood by the fire. He knew just how he felt from the moment he had seen Jake again and it scared the hell out of him. He heard Jake come up behind him.

"At the risk of being hit again, tell me how you feel?" the man asked touching Franks shoulder.

That was the straw that broke the camels back and Frank swung round and instead of hitting Jake like the man thought he was going to, he pulled him into his arms, kissed him and let him go, sitting on the sofa, running his hand through his hair, wondering what he had just done.

"Does that answer your question?" he said.

He was shaking and really wanted to get up and run out of the place, he was letting himself become vulnerable, letting someone else see his feelings and it was strange to him after all these years alone. This was not how he had wanted this meeting, at least not so soon. Jake went and sat beside him, he could see he was shaking and put an arm round his shoulder. He felt Franks intake of breath.

"Frank…you okay? Look as this is truth time, I had better say my piece. I have missed you so much and I wanted you so badly that night that when it all backfired, I felt like someone had not just hit me in the face but in the guts, tore them right out. Then when I found it was you this morning, I wanted to hurt you for what you did to me. But I can’t, I care too much, even now. I know this is so hard for you, you are not one to show your feelings, never have"

Frank was still shaking and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the cold he was getting, the hangover or because of the situation but he looked up slowly at Jake sitting next to him. All he saw was a man that had desire, love and caring in his eyes. He said nothing but allowed Jake to move closer and take him in his arms and just hold him. It was strange being in a mans arms after so long and slowly he maneuvered his arm so that he wrapped it round Jakes waist, holding him just as tight.

They stayed like that for a good half hour, neither one saying anything, just listening to the others breathing with the crackling of the fire in the background.

The man looked up and Jake ran a hand gently over the face, making the man close his eyes to the touch, his breathing becoming more erratic. Gently Jake pulled him back on the sofa so that they were laying down, Franks head on Jakes chest. They must have fallen asleep like that because when Frank woke up, he was still in Jakes arms and it was late afternoon already and the fire was nearly out.

Slipping out of the embrace, he went over to the fire and put some logs on it before it went out totally. Then he went and made some coffee and took it over to Jake, who was still asleep. Standing it on the coffee table, he sat on the sofa and gently shook Jake awake.

"Hey, come on, it’s getting dark and I’ve made you a coffee. Okay?" he asked.

Jake opened his eyes and nodded at the man sitting there. He was shocked that they had slept all that time and sat up so he could get the coffee. Frank stretched his back.

"Not the best place to fall asleep, I’ll never straighten up again" he said smiling.

"How’s your head now?" asked Jake.

"A lot better, please don’t let me do that again" said Frank sheepishly.

They looked at each other as they drank their coffee, then Frank put his down and took the mug from Jake. Then without taking his eyes from his, leant down and gently kissed him on the lips. Once, twice, so gently, then Jake parted his lips so that Frank could deepen the kiss if he wanted to.

Frank found the opening and kissed him longer, running his tongue around the mans lips several times before entering. Jake took this opportunity to put a hand behind the mans head and hold him in this position. The kiss deepened and breathing became quicker as senses were being aroused. Soon they couldn’t quite get enough of each others mouths and were both moaning into the kisses that were getting longer and more sexual. Soon they had to stop to get their breath.

"Damn, why did you stop?" asked Jake.

"I needed to breath, damn you can kiss" Frank replied.

"Let me up, I need the bathroom, be back in a minute"

Frank let him get up and leant back on the sofa. What was he doing, what was he getting into. This was exactly what he had been wanting all this time but he was scared, scared that it would end as quickly as it had begun. He shifted as his trousers were getting tighter because of his hardening cock. No-one had done this to him for a long time.

Just then Jake came back carrying a large fur blanket and some pillows. He laid them out on the floor in front of the fire after moving the coffee table. Then he pulled the curtains at the window, locked the door and walked back over to where Frank was watching him. Kneeling on the blanket, he held his hand out to the man on the sofa. The man took it as he moved down and knelt in front of Jake.

The man slowly undid the belt and his trousers, then pulled out the black jumper, lifting it up so that he could see Franks nipples which he took in his mouth, swirling his tongue around each one till they were hard.

Then Frank took the jumper off totally and proceeded to do the same to Jake, only this time, to undo the buttons on the mans shirt. Jake slipped it off and allowed Frank to run his hand over his chest and closed his eyes to the touch. Soon they were in each others arms, touching and kissing till both couldn’t quite get enough of the other. It had been so long for Frank that he soon felt himself getting weaker from the sensations that Jake was arousing in him and he had to get them to lie down.

"Oh Jake…I need you…oh God I need you" he gasped.

Jake pulled away and took off Franks shoes and then his trousers were taken off and discarded, then he stood up and removed his own till he stood there naked in the firelight. Kneeling down, he ran his hands up the mans legs, one by one and then his groin, not quite touching his cock which lay on his chest, waiting to be touched.

Then he kissed and licked his way up the mans legs till he reached the mound of hair that hid the balls that he wanted. As he fondled them first in his hand and then in his mouth, Frank arched against him. He gasped loudly as Jake took his cock in his mouth, gently licking along the ridges and then around the top, slowly taking it in his mouth.

Frank arched against him and threaded his hands in his hair to keep him there, the sensations washing over him like a tidal wave. He couldn’t remember sex ever being this good, not with anyone.

"Oh God….Jake…yessss….gonna cum"

He felt his balls harden and he came, Jake taking it all. Frank tasted both sweet and spicy and it turned Jake inside out. The man wanted to fuck him but wasn;t sure if that would be a good idea the first time. But Frank made the decision for him.

"Jake, please fuck me, I want to know what it’s like" he said.

Jake looked up at him and moved so that he could kiss those lips again.

"Frank, have you never been with a man, fully?" he asked.

"No, I always gave the pleasure, never received it. But I want it now, want you" he replied, his voice quivering.

"Okay, but I’ll take it slowly, turn over, on your knees. Have you got any cream we could us as lube?"

"I think there is some in the bathroom"

Jake went and found it. Returning he found Frank already on his knees waiting.

"Okay now just relax as much as you can, I’ll try not to hurt you" said Jake.

Putting the cream over his fingers, he pushed slowly into Frank, who gasped at the intrusion.

"It’s okay Frank, we’ll take this nice and slow"

Frank had never felt anything like this before, it was painful and yet it felt wonderful. Suddenly Jake touched his prostrate and it felt like electric shocks had passed through him. He couldn’t resist pushing back against Jakes hand.

"Ahhhh, ohhh yes, please more" he gasped.

Carefully Jake inserted another finger and then another, till he had three thrusting in and out of the man, brushing his prostrate every time. Frank was pushing back in rhythm with the man, grasping the blanket with his hands till his knuckles were white. His cock hard and begging to be touched.

Jake saw this and taking out his fingers, postioned himself against the man and pushed inside, at the same time told him to touch himself.

"Touch yourself Frank, make yourself cum, with me"

Frank reached down and pumped his cock along with Jake fucking him, soon all you could hear were moans, bodies clapping together as Jake took the man to the edge. Suddenly he felt himself flying over as he came. This made Frank cum like never before. He breathing was erratic and fast, his seed pumping over his hand as Jake stilled himself inside Frank. They collapsed on the blanket, trying to breathe normally but finding it difficult.

"Frank…are…you okay?" the man gasped a little later.

"I’m…I’m not sure, my head is spinning and I…I tingle all over" Frank tried to reply.

Jake removed his now limp cock from Frank and slid up beside him, turning him over and into his arms. There was no way the man had the strength to do it himself. He felt Jake kiss his forehead and he snuggled closer. They lay like that for a good while before either of them dared move. Then Jake reached over and grabbed his cigarettes, asking Frank if he wanted one. Frank didn’t smoke normally but at that moment, took one and allowed Jake to light it. He coughed as he inhaled but it soon passed and the two men lay there, smoking and watching the patterns on the ceiling caused by the flames from the fire.

"Are you glad I came to find you?" asked Frank

"What do you think? I am certainly glad you didn’t go back to Chicago after me hitting you. Damn it Frank, that was wonderful. I had no idea that you had never gone the whole way with a man, I just knew you had had a lover" said Jake.

"You’re not kidding. It wasn’t something that had come up, did we or didn’t we? I just like to give rather than take. If I’d have known what it was like, I would never have left it so long" replied Frank "By the way, I’m getting cold"

"Cold, we’re laying next to the fire, how can you be cold?" asked Jake.

"I don’t know, but I am. Maybe it’s this cold I have been coming down with and sitting outside all day yesterday probably didn’t help"

Jake untangled himself and went into the bedroom and found the large duvet and brought it out. Then laying down again, he put it over both of them. When he snuggled down next to Frank he could feel him shivering. He sat up and leant on his elbow.

"Frank, you have a bit of a temperature, that is why you feel cold. Would you rather move this into the bedroom?" he asked.

"No, this is nice, that duvet is helping, thanks. I knew I was getting a cold but I am normally at the office and work through it, but here it’s a bit different. I’ll be fine but I could do with a drink"

Jake said he was going to make one anyway, so putting on a robe he found in the bathroom, he went and filled the kettle and made them some cocoa. He always liked cocoa that time of night. Soon he was under the covers again and they were sipping their drinks.

"That’s lovely, haven’t had this since I was a kid" said Frank.

"Don’t you have one before you go to bed?" asked Jake.

"No, it’s usually coffee or a beer. Never even thought about buying it, never seemed to relax long enough to have a good nights sleep the last few years. Lucky if I get four or five hours, less sometimes"

"No wonder you seem grumpy and that. Why can’t you sleep?" asked Jake looking at him.

Frank told him that he had no idea. It was just that he had ploughed so much of his time into his work that any relaxation, he felt that it was just laziness. Then when he came to UC and took over, things got worse. He knew that in time he would have to slow down or he would regret it, but he never got round to it.

"I bet you don’t eat properly either do you?" said Jake.

Frank shook his head. He put the mug down and pulled the cover up further and pulled Jake closer to him. If he told the truth, he felt lousy, but he didn’t want to spoil this with Jake. He would feel better tomorrow.

"You seem to enjoying this evening" said Jake "Are you?"

"Oh yes, to think we could have been doing this for the last two months if it hadn’t have been for me" he replied.

Jake pulled his face round and kissed him, gently at first and then probed the mans mouth with his tongue. That is all they did for the next hour or so, just kissing and caressing each other. In some ways it was more sexual than the actual sex they had had earlier.

Soon Frank was asleep and Jake sat up, leant over and put another log on the fire before cuddling up against Frank and going to sleep himself. He was so glad he had decided to come to find him and not leave things as they were.

Jake was woken by Franks mobile ringing. But he didn’t answer it just in case. Frank opened his eyes and picked the phone up and looked at the number that had rung.

"It was Cody, I did promise to ring him when I got here but I forgot. I’ll do it later" he said sneezing.

"Bless you, sounds like you have a cold" said Jake moving over so the man could move.

Getting up, Frank hurried out of the room. It was cold away from the blankets and fire. It wasn’t till he got there that he realized how bad he felt. He ached all over and felt giddy when he stood up. Coming out of the bathroom, he walked back to the living room. He had to hold onto the doorframe as he came in to steady himself.

"Jake I feel awful" he said.

He had gone really pale and Jake jumped up and helped him over to the sofa. Frank held his head when he sat down.

"How long have you been feeling like this?" asked Jake.

"Since the early hours, I knew I was getting something when I came up here, I hoped that the fresh air would help but it hasn’t"

Jake got up and pulling on his trousers, helped Frank to lay down and covered him with the duvet. He felt hot and he had started sneezing.

"I’ll make you something hot to drink, honey and lemon will help that. I have some back at my cabin. Won’t be long. Now you stay there"

Frank didn’t feel like going anywhere at that moment, hopefully this would only last for a day or so. He was shivering and yet he felt hot and he was so tired. Closing his eyes, he didn’t hear Jake come back until he shook him and gave him the hot drink.

"Here drink this and then try and sleep for a while, you will feel better. Do you want anything to eat?"

Frank shook his head and handing the mug to Jake, lay back down again. Jake ran his hand down the mans face and kissed him.

"If you do that, you’ll get this cold" said Frank "Nice as it is"

"No chance, I never get colds, I was told when I was a child that I am a carrier for stuff like that. I can give it to others but won’t get it myself" he replied with a wicked smile.

"Oh charming, so if we all got bubonic plague, you would be the only survivor" chuckled Frank between sneezes.

Jake nodded as he left Frank to go and get some more logs from outside and to make up the fire. When he looked Frank was asleep. He decided that he would go and get the rest of his stuff and move it into Franks. No use living in separate ones. He would leave a note just in case the sheriff came up and wondered where he was.

It was about seven hours before Frank woke up and went to the bathroom. He felt a lot better but the cold was not gone yet. That sleep had done him good. Jake was sitting on the chair reading and looked up when the man came back in.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"Much but it is a toss up whether I need to wipe my nose or my eyes. I know where I got this from, Monica, she had it a couple of weeks ago. Wait till I see her"

Jake had prepared a nice meal and now that Frank was awake, he dished it up. The man was quite surprised had how tasty it was and commented on it.

"Oh and I suppose you thought I lived on take-aways. Well I learnt to cook when I was a kid, had to or I would have starved. Glad you like it. I know you have that cold but you were right, fresh air would do it good. Shall we go for a walk?"

"Okay, not far though, don’t fancy doing a ten mile trek" laughed Frank.

Jake put the dishes in the sink and would do them later. As he passed Frank finishing his coffee and wiping his nose for the hundredth time that day, he wrapped his arms around him and kissed his neck.

"Are you really glad about all this?" he asked.

Frank showed him by grabbing his arm and pulling him onto his lap.

"You bet, why I was so scared of letting my feelings show, I don’t know but I am so glad I did. Oh Jake…come here"

They sat there kissing for quite a while and almost forgot about going for a walk until Frank had to move because his leg was going to sleep.

"Come on, let’s go for that walk before it gets dark and before I ravish you right here" he said tickling the other man.

Jake threw him a warm jumper and jacket and putting his own on, they went outside. As they walked through the woods behind the cabin, it started to snow lightly. Frank felt a bit better out there in the fresh air and Jake noticed.

"See told you you’d feel better, come here" said Jake.

He held out his hand and Frank took it. It seemed strange walking along holding someones hand especially a man. Suddenly the man stopped and pointed to a small clearing ahead of them. Just coming into view was a female wolf with two cubs, well not really cubs anymore. Frank reckoned they were about eight months old. They stood by a large tree and watched them play in the grass, the mother watching for any danger.

"Aren’t they gorgeous?" whispered Frank.

"I never knew you liked nature" Jake whispered back wrapping his arms around the man.

"There is a lot about me you don’t know"

"Well I hope I am going to be with you long enough to find out" replied Jake.

With that he pushed the man against the tree and pushed his tongue inside the mans mouth. Frank moaned against the kiss and threaded his hands through Jakes hair, pulling him closer.

"Let’s take this back to the cabin" said Frank "I need you"

Jake smiled and with one last look at the wolves playing, they walked back to the warmth of the cabin. It was snowing harder now and they had to shake it off as they went inside. Locking the door and pulling the curtains across, Frank lit the candles over the fireplace. Then turning the light out, went and sat on the blanket waiting Jake to return from the bathroom.

When he came out, he saw the candlelight and smiled as he walked over to the man waiting for him. Taking his hand, he lay down beside him and they kissed each other tenderly. They didn’t want sex at the moment, just wanted to linger over each other, touching and kissing.

"What you said outside, do you really want to stay with me?" asked Frank.

"If you want me to yes. But how are we going work it. Do we go back to Chicago together, live together or what. And what do we tell the others?" asked Jake.

Frank lit a cigarette for him and Jake and sat up, looking at the fire. Jake leant against him and the man kissed his hair.

"I suppose we go back to Chicago. I can’t just leave" said Frank "I walked out before and it took a long time before they wanted me back as an agent. Then I was offered UC. Do you want to go back as an agent?"

"I can’t, I resigned remember. They won’t have me back"

"I never handed in the resignation, I told them you have family problems and would be back soon. I took a chance" replied Frank.

"You were so sure that I would come back" said Jake.

"One day"

Jake smiled as he pulled the man down so that he was resting against his chest but not before his jumper had been pulled off.

"Okay but what about living together and the others? Don’t forget I got rid of my apartment"

""Well my place is plenty big enough for two people and as for the others. Monica and Alex don’t really need to know, they never come round my apartment and as for Cody, well I think he already knows something. He knew you were up here, I found that out after I’d spoke to the Father at the mission, his girlfriend had told him. Chances are he also knows why you left and why I came up here"

Jake hugged Frank and kissed him. Then moving down sucked his nipples till they were hard. This had Frank moaning and he reached down and pulled Jake up.

He took Jakes lips to his and kissed him, his mouth felt hot and sweet to Frank and he opened his lips to let him reach inside. Their tongues danced together and Jake deepened the kiss, wrapping his hand round Franks neck, pulling him closer.

"Don’t you think you should get out of those jeans" Frank asked.

Jake stood up and soon discarded the jeans and t shirt, went back over to Frank and laid across him, their hips and cocks rubbing together. Then he moved, so he was between the mans legs and licked up the side of his now, really hard cock.

"Oh God, Jake, yyyyeeesss" moaned Frank arching his hips.

"You like that baby" drooled Jake.

He took Frank in his mouth and deep throated him so expertly that he had him thrashing around on the blanket, totally losing control to the younger man. Putting one of Franks legs over his shoulder, he used the pre-cum on his cock to lube his fingers and inserted one into him.

"Jesus, oh please, more, I need more" pleaded Frank

Jake inserted 2 more fingers and brushed past his prostrate, making Frank fly for the second time in as many days with sensations and he could feel himself going over the edge. Sensing this, Jake fucked him harder and sucked him even more deeply.

"Come for me, baby, lose your control and cum for me" he whispered.

Frank did and felt like he was soaring as wave upon wave of his orgasm hit, Jake swallowing all of it, milking him till he had no more to give. While he was still flying in the sensations, the man positioned his cock and pushed inside Frank.

He had not come down from the orgasm and yet here was Jake trying to push him even further of the precipice, his mind a jumble of sensations, combined with the dizziness of before and the effects of his cold, he didn’t think he could cope with what the man was doing.

"No Jake, no, I can’t handle this, please….aaaahhhh, oh God, n..yes, oh yes, harder, fuck me harder please" gasped Frank, his body disagreeing with what his mind wanted.

"Give yourself to me Frank, lose it again, you’re wonderful, that’s it baby, lose it, lose your mind at what I’m doing to you"

He thrust harder and harder, his balls slapping on Franks arse, pushing him into the floor. The man was thrashing about wildly again, his hands griping the blanket, his cock hard, one hand came and started to pump his cock in rhythm to Jake. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he could feel like this, least of all the Jake.

Jake was about to cum and he encouraged Frank to cum with him again. Then he exploded his seed into him, shouting his name as he did, that in turn pushed the man over and he spilled his seed all over his stomach and hand. Stars and explosions burst behind his eyes and he felt himself falling, down, down and then nothing. A few minute later, he open his eyes and found he was laying in his arms with him stroking his face gently, smiling.

"Welcome back baby, that was some orgasm, you alright?"

"Oh Jake that was bloody fantastic, never felt like that before and I have had some good fucks in my time"

"Neither do I and no way, baby, I want you more than you will ever know, I.."

"You what, say what you feel Jake"

"I think I love you Frank, despite everything, I really think I love you"

"Then the feeling is mutual my sweet, very mutual"

"You mean that Frank, really"

Frank kissed him gently.

"Oh yes Jake, I really mean it and now it’s my turn"

With that he turned Jake over and it was his turn to turn Jakes world inside out and he did, very successfully. But it took longer for Jake to wake up than it had Frank.

"Wow, Frank, didn’t think you had that in you. I definitely love you….so much" said Jake.

"Stay there, I’ll make us both a drink, if I can walk and then we will get some sleep. I have plans for you tomorrow" Frank said with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

"Oh yes, what is that?" asked Jake.

"You’ll have to wait and see, won’t you"

In fact they had a passionate fortnight at the cabin before deciding to go back to Chicago.

Especially after Cody had rung and said that Frank was needed at the office. Sonny was back and only Frank could deal with him.

They packed their stuff and dropping the car off at the hotel where Frank had stayed at the start, they waited for the plane to take them back. Frank booked the cabin for a month to start in about two months time without Jake knowing. He would get them official time off if it killed him.

The others we so pleased to see Frank back, certainly in a better mood than when he left. He thanked them and then called Jake in.

"Well you had better say hello to our colleague…I persuaded him to come back" he said.

"Jake…oh it’s so great to see you…are you okay?" asked Alex.

"I’m fine, more than fine. All I needed was a break, now I am back for good"

Frank smiled and went into his office, where Cody followed him, leaving Jake with the girls.

"Is everything really okay boss?" he asked.

"Oh yes, Cody, better than okay. Thanks for not saying anything, I appreciate it, really. How much do you know?" asked Frank.

"Enough to know that you and Jake had to sort this out. No-one else could. And I can see that you have. Good luck boss"

Frank smiled as he left and Jake walked in.

"Does he know?" he asked.

"Yes. Everything is fine. Now let’s find out what Sonny is up to, then we’ll go back to the apartment and sort that out. Okay?"

"Sure" replied Jake smiling.

He went to leave the office when Frank called him back.

"By the way, what are you doing in two months time?" he asked.

"Do I have to answer that, why?"

"I have booked that cabin for a month, you up for it?"

Jake saw the wicked look and smiled as he said yes. God a month of Frank in that cabin and he would be a dead man. But a very happy one.

"Alex what have we got?" he asked going back to the others, Frank watching through the office window.

END