Pink Kryptonite
by Jeanster
jean_akins@hotmail.com
Fandom: Superman
Rating PG-13
Summary: Mr. Mxyzptlk has a new idea for a trick to play on Superman
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Superman or any other DC characters. I do not own the Rawhide Kid or any other Marvel characters
DISCLAIMER 2: I do not own any of the Sandman characters created by Neil Gaiman or any DC characters or any Marvel characters.
Pink Kryptonite
by Jeanster
It was a beautiful spring day in Metropolis. Two young attractive men met discreetly in the park. They cautiously looked around to see if anyone was nearby for their love was the kind that dared not speak its name. They embraced and kissed.
Their names were Tom and Richard and they had been seeing each other for six months. They had kept their relationship a secret from their family members and friends.
"Hey! What do you think you’re doing?" shouted an angry voice.
Tom and Richard abruptly broke apart from their embrace and looked around.
Four tough-looking large men approached them from all sides.
"Hey, we don’t want any trouble," said Richard.
"Yeah, so just back off," said Tom.
"Don’t tell us what to do," said one of the men. "We don’t need or want your kind around here."
Suddenly the four tough-looking large men were sent spiraling upward and away from Tom and Richard.
The young couple stared in amazement as their would-be assailants then began their quick descent and landed in the duck pond of the park.
Tom and Richard took the opportunity to make a hasty getaway as the four wet men splashed and spluttered in the water.
Had the young couple glanced upward they would have seen an odd-looking imp from the fifth dimension that had popped in a few minutes ago.
"You’re welcome," the imp said quietly to the young couple as they ran off. "Consider that my token of appreciation for the idea you two boys just gave me for my latest prank to play on Superman."
Meanwhile at the Daily Planet Lois Lane and Superman were making tentative plans for a dinner date when Perry White rushed over.
"Superman! The warden at the prison just called! Lex Luthor has escaped!"
"What? Again? Excuse me, Lois."
"Not so fast, Superman. You’re taking me with you. I’m not going to miss out on this news scoop!"
"Sorry, Lois. It’s too dangerous."
"But if you take me with you I’ll let you do this," and she quickly whispered something into Superman’s ear.
He smiled, picked her up and flew out the window.
"I’ll be back later, Perry!" shouted Lois and they disappeared from sight.
It did not take long for Superman to spot Lex Luthor. He set Lois down on a hillside.
"Stay here, Lois. You’ll be able to see us, but you’ll be far away enough from danger." Then Superman flew off in pursuit of the criminal genius.
"Give it up, Luthor!" said Superman as he closed in on Lex.
"Never!"
Lex pulled out something from his pocket. It was a small lead box. He opened it and revealed to Superman its contents: a chunk of green kryptonite.
Superman cried out in pain and fell to the ground.
Lex laughed maniacally as he moved closer to Superman.
"Feel the pain! Die, Superman!"
Lois looked on helplessly as she witnessed what was happening.
Then Lex was not laughing anymore. He was staring in surprise as Superman got up, grabbed the lead box and flung it away.
"You’re going back to prison, Luthor."
"But how --?" Lex started to ask. He did not finish uttering his question for Superman lightly tapped him and knocked him unconscious for the flight back to prison. Superman picked up Lois and Lex, dropped Lex off at prison before returning Lois to the Daily Planet.
Lex had not noticed what Lois and Superman had seen: the green kryptonite had mysteriously changed color. A certain magical imp from the fifth dimension had turned it into pink kryptonite.
"Now to sit back and enjoy the show," the magical imp said to himself.
Part 2: The Breakup
"Thanks, Superman," said Lois. "I’ll type this story and turn it in to Perry. Maybe tonight over dinner we can figure out what caused that kryptonite to change from green to pink and what effect, if any, it has on you."
"Oh, right. About dinner," said Superman. He looked uncomfortable. "Uh, Lois, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. I think we should see other people, so I’m canceling our plans for dinner tonight."
Lois was stunned. Her mouth fell open and she stared at him.
"Excuse me? Did I hear you correctly? You’re breaking up with me?"
"Yes, Lois. I don’t think it would be fair to lead you on when I know in my heart that this would not be heading toward what I think you want our relationship to be."
Lois glared at him. "Fine! Well, don’t expect me to cry any tears over you! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a story to write!"
She turned and walked away from him as she did her best not to cry. She walked at a normal pace and resisted the urge to break into a run toward the women’s restroom.
Superman felt like a heel. He looked around the room and spotted Jimmy Olsen leaving Perry White’s office. Jimmy smiled and waved at Superman.
"Jimmy, do you have plans for dinner tonight? There’s something I’d like to discuss with you."
"Sure, Superman. I’ll meet you here at five o’clock when I get off work."
"Great. See you then."
Part 3: Dinner With Jimmy
At five o'clock Superman returned to the Daily Planet to meet Jimmy.
"Where would you like to go for dinner?" asked Superman as he wondered why he never noticed before today just how cute and adorable Jimmy was.
"I thought of a few possible places, but then I realized we'd never have a real chance to talk because you'd be swarmed by your adoring public. So how about we go to my place instead of a restaurant? I'll get us a take-out pizza and meet you at my apartment."
"That'd be great," said Superman.
Jimmy entered his apartment. Then he opened the window. Seconds later Superman flew in at super-speed so that no one outside could see him.
"Make yourself at home, Superman. I'll set the table. Mmm. That pizza smells good," said Jimmy.
They dined on pizza and soda while they made small talk.
"What is it you want to discuss with me, Superman?" Jimmy finally asked.
"You might already have heard this. I broke up with Lois today."
"Wow. Well, that explains why she was so quiet in the afternoon. She left without saying a word."
"I feel badly about it, but I couldn't continue living a lie."
"A lie? Superman, what do you mean? Why did you break up with her?"
The magical imp from the fifth dimension quietly observed the two men. He used his powers to be invisible so he could be in the same room with them.
Jimmy listened patiently and without interrupting while Superman spoke.
Mr. Mxyzptlk watched Jimmy's expression while Superman unburdened himself of all he had to say. Surprise and compassion. No sign of disgust or revulsion. Wow, that boy is one classy guy and a real friend to Superman, thought the fifth dimensional imp.
Then it was Jimmy's turn to speak. Mr. Mxyzptlk listened while he watched Superman.
Afterward Superman said, "I appreciate you letting me down so gently, Jimmy. Well, good-night. Thanks for dinner." He moved toward the open window.
"Wait, Superman. You don't have to leave."
Superman looked at Jimmy. "I don't?"
The invisible imp was just as surprised as Superman.
"Of course not. You just opened yourself to me with some really heavy stuff and made yourself completely vulnerable emotionally. That takes a lot out of a person, even a super-being like yourself, I figure. Stay over tonight. I admit my apartment is small, but you're welcome to enjoy my hospitality. You can leave in the morning."
Superman smiled. "You're kind. And I can see how sincere you are."
Unbelievable, thought Mr. Mxyzptlk. Well, there's nothing going on here. I'll pop in on Superman in the morning.
The imp helped himself to the last slice of pizza before leaving Jimmy's apartment. He glanced back for just a moment to see Jimmy drifting off to sleep while lying comfortably in bed. Superman floated in the air parallel to Jimmy. The two men sleepily wished each other a good-night.
Part 4: Another Red-Haired Fellow
The next morning Superman left Jimmy's apartment. He flew back to the area where he had flung the lead box containing the pink kryptonite. There was no sign of the box or the pink kryptonite. Superman did not know that the fifth dimensional imp had popped those items out of existence seconds after Superman had carried Luthor and Lois away. So he flew back to Metropolis and stood on the rooftop of the Daily Planet. He wanted a few minutes to think about his new feelings for Jimmy and why he no longer felt the same way about Lois.
"Lovely day, isn't it?"
Superman turned to the sound of the voice.
"Mxyzptlk!"
"In the flesh. How are you, Superman? To be specific, how is your love life?"
"Private," said Superman. "But you didn't come to ask me that, did you? What mischief do you have up your sleeve?"
"Mischief? Moi? Superman, you wound me. Are you sure there isn't something you want to tell me? No? All right. How about if I offer you something? No strings attached?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Jimmy Olsen can be yours for the taking. I could make him want you. All you have to do is say you want my help in that department, and I could do it with one snap of my fingers."
Superman glared at Mxyzptlk.
"Listen to me very carefully," said Superman slowly and carefully. "Don't you ever do anything to Jimmy Olsen. He's off limits to you. Got that?"
Mxyzptlk glared back at Superman. Then he spoke slowly and carefully.
"No one and nothing is off limits to me, Superman. Got that? But you need not worry. I have no intention of hurting the boy. But since you can't have Jimmy and you won't accept my help in getting him to want you, would you be open to meeting someone new?"
"No, thank you. I don't need you to fix me up with anyone, Mxyzptlk."
"Right. Because you're doing just great all by your super-self. Come on, Supes. When was the last time you got any?"
"That's none of your business. Like I said, my love life is private."
"Tell you what. Just meet this special someone I have in mind for you. If you don't like him, I'll just send him back home. What do you have to lose?"
"Why are you so concerned about my social life?"
"Why not? I'm bored, so you're my entertainment. Superman, say hello to Bachelor Number One!"
Mxyzptlk snapped his fingers.
Superman stared at the boyishly handsome young male who suddenly appeared before him. He wore a white cowboy hat, dark blue clothing, and a pair of twin colts holstered from his slender waist. He was definitely the best dressed Western gunslinger Superman had ever seen. His eyes were a lovely shade of blue.
"How'd I get here? Who are you?" asked the confused stranger. He stared at the view of tall buildings in the busy city of Metropolis. He had never been on top of such a tall building before.
"Superman, meet Johnny Bart. Also known as the Rawhide Kid," said Mxyzptlk. "I think you'll like him, Supes. Johnny has red hair." The imp quickly snatched the white hat and revealed Johnny's beautiful red hair. It was a different shade of red than Jimmy's.
"Hey! Give me back my hat!"
Mxyzptlk chuckled and tossed the hat back to the Rawhide Kid. The Kid caught it, then turned his attention to Superman.
"What kind of a name is 'Superman'? Hmm. And can your clothes BE any tighter?"
"You're a fine one to talk. Those pants look like they're painted on. And I'm probably not the first person to notice that."
"Why I don't leave you two boys alone to get better acquainted?" said Mxyzptlk just before he faded away.
"That strange little guy who just disappeared. I take it he somehow brought me here?"
"That's correct."
"Can you get him over here? I need him to send me back. He couldn't have picked a more inconvenient time to bring me to whatever this place or time is."
"Why? What did he tear you away from?"
"I have a date with a pair of angels named Cartright. I was on my way there when suddenly I found myself here. Where IS here, by the way?"
"Metropolis. Tell you what. Let's go somewhere where it's not so windy and high up. We have a lot to talk about. I don't know when Mxyzptlk will return, but I'll make sure he returns you to where you came from."
Part 5: A Visit To The Daily Planet
He’s beautiful when he’s angry, thought Superman as he stifled the urge to grin. Johnny Bart resented having his twin colts confiscated by Superman. The Rawhide Kid felt like a bird with its wings clipped.
"I promise to return your firearms to you when Mxyzptlk is ready to send you back home. But here in Metropolis you’re not authorized to carry these weapons."
"I reckon I don’t have a choice, do I?"
"Sorry, no. And as much as that fifth dimensional imp wants to get the two of us together, crime will not stand still while we get better acquainted. I have some people to rescue. Keep yourself busy. Be a tourist and look around this city. I’ll meet you here in front of the Daily Planet building an hour from now." Superman did not wait for Johnny’s reply. He flew off to rescue a passenger-filled bus that was about to teeter off a bridge.
Johnny stared at Superman flying away.
"Well, I’ll be danged," he muttered.
Johnny decided to visit the inside of the Daily Planet building. The receptionist in the lobby smiled at him.
He’s cute, she thought. A bit out of place dressed the way he is, but still very cute.
"You’re in luck, sir. We do give tours to public visitors. See that group of people over by that wall? They are waiting for Miss Lane who should be here any moment. Lois Lane is one of the Daily Planet’s star investigative reporters. Yet she manages to take an hour of her time once a month to give a tour for the public."
Lois resented taking time out of her busy schedule to give tours, but Perry insisted all the reporters take turns. Good public relations, said Perry.
So she put on a smile and headed for the lobby.
The first thing that caught her attention was the very cute young fellow dressed as a cowboy.
It’s not every day I see a cowboy here in Metropolis, thought Lois. I wonder what his story is.
Part 6: Making Time For The Date
"Superman! What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm stopping this gang of bank robbers from getting away with their heist."
"Let the police handle it! Why aren't you on your date with Johnny Bart? I left to give you both some private quality time together and I find you out here?"
"Mxyzptlk, why are you so anxious to get the Rawhide Kid and me together? You must have some ulterior motive."
"Come on, Superman. You don't believe I can do something nice for you for once?"
"Considering your track record, no, I honestly don't believe you could."
"Well, you're wrong. Now what is it going to take to get you to stop all this hero-stuff and spend some quality time with your date?"
"That's not going to be easy. As you probably know, there's a lot going out in this world that requires my help."
"All work and no play makes for a very dull Superman. Tell you what. How about if the world didn't need your help for a while? Just long enough for you and Johnny to have a nice time on your date?
"What do you mean?"
"It'll be easier I just show you."
Mxyzptlk snapped his fingers.
"Done. Until I set things back into their normal state, all over the world beginning now your services are no longer required."
Superman looked skeptical.
"Go ahead. Use your super-vision and super-hearing. Do you detect any crime taking place? Any natural disasters? Any accidents that require you to go rescue anyone?"
"Hmmm. Not even a kitten that needs to be rescued from being stuck up in a tree. Oh, wait. There are some hijackers aboard that passenger plane! I'd better -- , what?"
"What? What's happening aboard that plane?"
"Unbelievable. The hijackers are surrendering their weapons to the flight crew. They are apologizing for having frightened everyone and they insist on being tied up in their seats for the remainder of the flight. And they say they will turn themselves over to the authorities after the plane safely lands."
"You see? You're not needed for now. Go on and enjoy your date. You're keeping Johnny waiting."
"Hmmm. Mxyzptlk, I don't know what you're really up to, but I'm going to play along with your little game."
"You'll see it's no game. Enjoy your date. Have fun. Ta-ta!"
The fifth dimensional imp faded away.
Superman flew back to the Daily Planet building.
Part 7: What Johnny Knows
"Can he really do that? Shut off crime just like that?"
"Apparently so. And not just crime. Also natural disasters and accidents."
"Wow."
"But it won't last forever. He turns all of that back into motion after we've had our, uh, date."
"Hmm."
"So what did you do while I was on patrol?"
"I took a tour of the Daily Planet." The Rawhide Kid paused and looked at Superman. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Before I do, let me tell you about a criminal I fought years ago. He called himself the 'Masquerader'. He was a true master of disguise."
"What about him?"
"His disguises were elaborate and very convincing. But I'm pretty sure that if he were to appear here in your world and time, he could get away with fooling the folks here with just a fraction of his abilities."
"What are you getting at?"
"While I was being given a tour of the Daily Planet we saw you fly past the window. Everyone cried out, 'Oh, look, it's Superman!' and rushed over to the window to see you. And just a few minutes before that happened Lois Lane who was giving us the tour mentioned how it was too bad Clark Kent was on vacation because she could have really used his help on a story she wants to complete. There was a large group photograph of the reporters of the Daily Planet displayed on the wall and she indicated which man in the picture was Clark Kent."
He paused again. Superman looked puzzled.
"So my question is why do most of the people in Metropolis have the impression that Clark Kent and Superman are two separate individuals? They talk about it like they don't know Clark and Superman are the same person. Are folks here just slow? Or am I the only here who can see it?"
Superman was stunned. Deny it, he said to himself.
"Johnny, you're mistaken. Clark Kent is a good friend of mine. He's just away on vacation."
"Oh, puh-leeze. Don't insult my intelligence. So if I were to simply change into a city-style business suit, comb my hair differently, lose the hat and don a pair of eyeglasses, could I pass myself off to everyone here as someone other than Johnny Bart the Rawhide Kid?"
Oh, great, thought Superman. How can I shut him up? I can't have him revealing my secret identity!
The sound of laughter suddenly broke Superman's thoughts.
Mxyzptlk appeared and was still laughing.
"Don't be surprised that Johnny figured that out. It's the same reason why men like him have great fashion sense."
"And that reason is what?" asked Superman.
Johnny answered for the imp.
"Because we're great at everything we do. It's a fact of nature. Get used to it."
"Superman, don't worry about your secret identity. After I send Johnny back to his homeworld and time he won't remember anything about what he experienced here. In fact for him it'll seem as if he never left his world."
Part 8: Got Milk
"Why won’t I remember what I’ve experienced here when I return home?" asked Johnny.
"You just won’t. That’s how it works," said Mxyzptlk.
"It’s better this way," said Superman. "Even if you were to promise to never reveal what you’ve learned here, all it would take is an accidental slip of the tongue on your part and it could change things here drastically. The result could be catastrophic."
Johnny thought about it. "I don’t like it, but I guess you’re right."
"Well, since you already know about my secret identity I may as well take you over to my alter-ego’s apartment. We can talk there privately."
"That’s a great idea," said Mxyzptlk. "Proceed with your date already, for crying out loud. The suspense is killing me!"
"Mxyzptlk, just knowing you might be secretly observing us doesn’t do much to help get us in the mood, if you know what I mean," said Superman.
"Superman’s right," said Johnny. "These things have to come naturally without anyone forcing us together. Doing what should be very private and intimate while you watch us does not sit well with me."
"All right, already. I’ll go play tourist while you two are at the apartment. But first thing in the morning I’ll pop in to check on you both." Then the imp faded away.
"Nice place you have here," said Johnny when they arrived at Clark’s apartment.
"Thanks. Would you like something to drink?"
"Sure. Milk, if you have it."
Johnny noticed Superman smiling.
"You’re not going to make fun of me for not asking for something stronger are you?" asked Johnny. "When I asked the bartender in a saloon for a glass of milk it resulted in a huge brawl with some idiot who belittled me for not ordering rotgut."
"I take it you won the brawl?"
"Yep. I suppose it might have helped me look tougher if I asked the bartender to pour the milk into a dirty glass."
"Ewwww! Even I wouldn’t want to drink that. But I’ll have you know I love milk. I grew up on a farm in Smallville. Love the taste of fresh milk from a cow."
Chapter 9: The Morning After
Superman was setting the table for breakfast. The eggs and bacon were almost ready. The toast was about to pop up. Coffee was brewing.
He turned and saw Johnny coming from the bathroom. The robe Superman loaned Johnny to wear was too large for him, but it would have to do.
"Your clothes are over there," said Superman pointing to the sofa. "I cleaned and pressed them while you were in the shower."
"Thanks," said Johnny. "And you made breakfast, too? You should have let me do that. After all, you made dinner last night."
"Nonsense. You're my guest. Have a seat."
"Everything looks and smells delicious."
They sat at the dining table and began to eat.
"I wonder where Mxyzptlk is. He should be popping in any second," said Superman. Then he noticed the sad look on Johnny's face.
"Why so glum?" he asked.
"I really don't want to forget all that's happened to me here," said Johnny. "I'm having such a great time with you."
Superman paused before answering. The Kid must really have it bad for me, he thought. This might be a problem.
"You're not going to get all mushy on me, are you?" asked Superman. "It was just one night. It didn't mean anything. We both knew you'd have to return home in the morning. Don't make more of this than what it is."
Johnny was stunned. Why was Superman using such a cold tone of voice with him? Just last night this Kryptonian who could turn a lump of coal into a diamond with the strength of his hands showed Johnny that he could also be very gentle and tender with those very same hands. It was the best night Johnny ever had, but the words Superman uttered just now made Johnny feel humiliated and foolish. Could this be the same man who only a few hours ago whispered beautiful words of endearment into Johnny's ear while they shared their night of passion?
Johnny didn't know what to say to Superman after that, so he simply kept quiet as he finished eating breakfast.
Superman did not really want to hurt Johnny, but he figured that by behaving like a total cad Johnny would have no reason to miss him or be sad about having to return home.
What Superman really wanted to do right now was scoop Johnny into his arms and kiss him to make the hurt go away. Superman wanted to keep this adorable red-haired pretty-boy scamp from the nineteenth century right here as his permanent love muffin. But he knew that was out of the question. The Rawhide Kid had to return home and that was that.
"And I certainly hope you're not going to start crying," said Superman. "Excuse me while I go get the morning paper."
You bastard, thought Johnny. I'll be danged if I'll ever let you see me crying.
Johnny got up and headed over to the sofa to get his clothes.
Superman opened the door to pick up this morning's copy of the Daily Planet. But instead he found Jimmy Olsen standing there holding that very same paper. The young cub reporter had the key to Clark Kent's apartment in his hand and a very surprised look on his face.
"Superman! What are you doing in Mr. Kent's apartment?"
Perhaps it was the pink kryptonite or the stress and nervousness of his very first intimate time with a man or worrying about what Mxyzptlk was really up to. Or maybe it was a combination of all of that which made Superman completely forget that as Clark Kent he had given his spare key to Jimmy when Jimmy asked Clark if he needed his plants to be watered while he was away visiting his folks in Smallville. At the time Clark figured that would be fine. He would simply be sure to not be there when Jimmy came over.
And now here was Jimmy. But before Superman could answer, Jimmy smiled and said, "Oh, but of course. You and Mr. Kent are such good friends that he must have let you use his place while he's away. Well, don't mind me, Superman. Here's the morning paper. I won't take long watering his plants. Then I'll be out of here. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company." Jimmy smiled at Johnny who was standing by the sofa and holding his freshly pressed clean clothes.
"Hi. I'm Jimmy Olsen," said Jimmy as he walked over to Johnny and extended his hand.
Johnny took Jimmy's hand and shook it.
"My name's Johnny Bart. Pleased to meet you."
Superman must have a thing for young red-haired fellas, thought Jimmy. Hmm. Didn't take him long to move on after I turned him down just a couple of days ago.
Jimmy felt just a tiny twinge of jealousy. Then he told himself that was silly. Superman had every right to be happy with someone, and if couldn't be Jimmy, then it wouldn't be fair for Jimmy to stop someone else from being with him.
Johnny went into the bathroom to change clothes. He closed the door behind him.
Superman sat on the sofa while Jimmy went about his business watering the plants throughout the apartment.
Chapter 10: Jimmy and Johnny
Jimmy finished watering the plants in Clark's apartment. He was about to leave when Superman said, "Jimmy, would you like some breakfast before you go? There's plenty here. How about a cup of coffee?"
Jimmy smiled. "Sure. Thanks, Superman. Coffee will be fine."
Johnny emerged from the bathroom just then fully clothed. He was ready to be sent back to the nineteenth century. Well, almost ready. I'll have to remind Superman to give me back my twin colts, thought Johnny. Wouldn't want to return home without those.
The two young red-haired fellows looked at each other.
"How long have you known Superman?" asked Jimmy.
"Not long. We just met yesterday."
Wow. Superman sure moves fast, Jimmy thought to himself. I guess he was in a hurry to get over not being able to have me. Gee, I wonder if he pretended Johnny was me when he was, uh, was, um, you know, doing it.
Johnny noticed the watch on Jimmy's wrist.
"What's that, if you don't mind my asking?" said Johnny.
"This? Oh, it's a gift from Superman," said Jimmy with a wee bit of pride. "Yeah, Superman and I are good friends. Pals. Buds. And this isn't just an ordinary watch. It's a signal watch."
"Signal watch?"
"Yep. If I'm ever in danger I just press it and it'll send a signal that Superman can hear from miles away."
"Dang. That's a mighty fine gift. Superman must think very highly of you to give you that."
"Yes, he does," said Jimmy. I should be ashamed of myself, thought Jimmy, bragging like this. Why do I feel like rubbing it in Johnny's face about what good friends Superman and I are?
"Well, it's not likely that Superman will be giving me a signal watch," said Johnny. After all, he thought, how could Superman hear a signal from way back in the nineteenth century?
"Gee, that's too bad," said Jimmy.
"All I got from Superman was a stone," said Johnny as he pulled something from his pocket. "He squeezed a lump of coal and turned it into this here diamond while he was demonstrating his super powers."
Jimmy stared wide-eyed at the large diamond.
Gee, thought Jimmy, how ironic. Miss Lane has been hoping for years to get a diamond from Superman, that is, a diamond engagement ring. And now Superman gives this beautiful big diamond to Johnny, and they've known each other for only a day!
"Here's your coffee, Jimmy," said Superman.
"Thanks, Superman," said Jimmy. He sipped from the cup. Mmm, he sure makes good coffee, thought Jimmy.
Johnny stared at Jimmy. Incredible, thought the Rawhide Kid. How can Jimmy not see that Superman and Clark Kent are the one and the same? I mean, look at him! He's not even wearing his Superman outfit! He's right here in Clark Kent's apartment and he's wearing a bathrobe! Just because he's not wearing eyeglasses and has his hair combed differently than when he's Clark Kent, Jimmy believes he's Superman? That's it. I can't wait to get back home. This place is way too strange for me.
"Thanks for the coffee, Superman. Well, I'd better be going. Oh, and uh, you might want to be sure to wash the bed sheets before Mr. Kent returns home." Jimmy smiled and left the apartment.
"May as well make myself useful around here," said Johnny. "I'll help by stripping the sheets off the bed. You have any new-fangled machines for washing these?"
"You don't have to do that, Johnny," said Superman. "Actually, I'd like to hold off on washing those for a while."
Johnny looked puzzled. "Whatever for?"
Because I want to enjoy your scent that still lingers on those sheets, thought Superman. But he didn't say those words out loud. I'll miss you very much, Johnny, thought Superman, and it's killing me inside to know you'll be sent back to your own time and you won't even have memories of what we shared here last night.
Just then Mxyzptlk appeared.
"Good morning!" he cheerfully greeted them.
Chapter 11: Unspoken Words
"Nice robe," said Mxyzptlk to Superman. "But you might want to change into your superhero outfit. After I send the Kid back to his own time and place, you'll be needed just about everywhere. Crime will start up again. So will all those natural disasters and accidents."
Superman did not say anything as he headed toward the bedroom to change.
"I'll need my guns back," Johnny said to Superman.
"How was your date, Johnny?" asked Mxzyptlk with a grin.
"I'd rather not say. Just send me back home after he gives me back my guns. I can't wait to leave this place."
"Oh, you poor dear! You must be homesick. You don't look happy here at all. Didn't you have a nice time?"
"Some of it was nice," said Johnny. "But the sooner I leave here, the better."
Superman returned to the living room. He was wearing his familiar red and blue outfit. He carried Johnny's gunbelt with the twin colts in the holsters.
Johnny held out his hand so that Superman could give him back his gunbelt.
But instead Superman walked over to Johnny and asked, "May I?"
Johnny looked puzzled.
Superman walked closely behind Johnny, gently placed the gunbelt around Johnny's slender waist and securely fastened it. Johnny shuddered as Superman's lips slowly and gently brushed against the back of his neck. Superman kept his arms around Johnny's waist even though the gunbelt was securely fastened.
You bastard, thought Johnny. You made it clear to me that last night didn't mean anything to you, so why are you snuggling up to me now?
"You can let go of me now, Superman," Johnny said softly while trying his best to keep his voice calm.
But I don't want to, thought Superman. I want to keep you here so I can love you and worship you, you beautiful creature, you.
It was not until the reality hit Superman that he'd never see Johnny Bart again that he knew he loved him.
"Would you two boys like a private moment to say good-bye?" asked Mxyzptlk.
Before Superman could answer, Johnny broke away from his embrace and said, "Well, I don't need a moment. Send me home, pronto!"
"As you wish." Mxyzptlk snapped his fingers. Johnny Bart the Rawhide Kid disappeared from the apartment.
Superman stared at the spot where Johnny last stood. When Johnny looked at Superman before he was sent back home, the Kid's face did not reveal any emotion. No sadness. No anger. No sign of wishing to be asked to stay.
"Well, that's that. Hey, you'd better get going now. You have crooks to catch and people to rescue."
"And what will you be doing while I'm busy with all that?"
"Nothing. I'm done here. See you in ninety days. Kltpzyxm!"
The imp vanished.
Well, I certainly didn't expect that, thought Superman. Then he noticed it as the morning sunlight made it sparkle. Superman reached over and picked up the diamond that Johnny had left on the coffee table.
I guess Johnny felt he couldn't accept this gift after I made him think last night meant nothing to me, thought Superman. Why did I have to behave like such a jerk? Why didn't I just make his last moments here enjoyable instead of hurting him like that?
Superman decided that this wasn't over. He contacted Supergirl and asked her to patrol for him while he took care of a personal matter. He did not tell her why he was planning a trip back in time to the days of the old Wild West.
I have to find him, thought Superman. This isn't over yet. I'll make him remember me. Or I'll just start a whole new relationship with him, only this time I won't say anything to hurt him.
Even though Mxyzptlk has made that chunk of pink kryptonite disappear, the effects of it would still last until Superman experienced full requited gay love. So if Lois Lane was hoping Superman would ever come around to begging for her forgiveness for having dumped her, she'd have a while to wait. It would now be up to Johnny Bart to make that happen.
Chapter 12: The Stranger in The Salon
True to Mxyzptlk's word, when he sent Johnny Bart back in time he returned the Rawhide Kid to the exact moment and place from where he had plucked him. It was as if Johnny had never left his world in the first place.
Johnny eagerly rode his horse toward the town saloon where he figured his friends would be. He was right. There they were. Haus and Little Jo looked up, smiled and waved as Johnny entered the saloon. He joined them at their table.
The bartender walked over and placed a glass of milk in front of Johnny.
"You read my mind," said Johnny.
"Actually, that gentleman sitting over there in the corner sent you this glass of milk," said the bartender.
Johnny looked over and saw a stranger whose hat was angled low enough to cover his eyes.
"Someone you know?" asked Haus.
"Hard to tell from here with that hat covering part of his face," said Johnny. "If you'll both excuse me for a moment, I'll just mosey on over and thank the gentleman."
As Johnny approached the stranger seated at the table in the corner of the bar he noticed the man's physique: broad shoulders and very muscular. The man pushed the brim of his hat upward to reveal his eyes.
Wow, thought Johnny as he looked at the stranger's face. He's downright handsome.
"Howdy," said Johnny extending his hand. "Thanks for the milk. My name's Johnny Bart."
The man politely shook Johnny's hand and smiled.
"You're welcome, Johnny. You looked parched when you walked in. Thought a glass of cold milk would take care of that. My name's Kent. Clark Kent."
"Are you from around here, Clark? Or are you just passing through?"
"I'm from out of town. I might stay a while, but that depends."
"On what?"
"On whether I can find a good reason to stick around."
He really doesn't remember me, thought Clark. If he's faking it, he's doing a great job.
Clark/Superman used his super-hearing to detect Johnny's heart rate. It wasn't speeding up to indicate any lying or nervousness.
Johnny smiled. "Enjoy your stay, Clark. Well, if you'll excuse me, I don't want to keep my friends waiting."
Chapter 13: Comet
Meanwhile Supergirl had her work cut out for her as she fought crime during Superman's absence.
I wonder why he wanted to borrow my horse, she thought. Supergirl had thought it strange when Superman asked if Comet could accompany him on his trip back in time to the days of the old Wild West. Comet at first refused to go and insisted that Supergirl might need his help to fight crime. Comet was very protective of Supergirl. But Supergirl could see how much this favor meant to Superman, so she asked Comet to go along. Comet reluctantly did.
Superman figured a horse would complete his disguise to blend in with the folks living in Johnny Bart's time period. What better horse would there be to accompany him on this personal quest than one with super powers?
Comet waited outside the saloon while Clark was inside trying to decide how to get Johnny away from Haus and Little Joe.
"Hey, lookee up there!" shouted one of the townsfolk pointing upward. "Whooo-wheee!"
Comet glanced up.
Oh, great, thought Comet. Why now of all times? I'd better duck into that alley before someone sees me transform into a human.
It was a comet passing through the solar system.
"So it's settled," said Little Jo. "Johnny, you'll be our house guest for the next few days."
"Thanks," said Johnny. "That's mighty nice of you."
"Let's go," said Haus.
Clark watched the three of them get up and head outside. He got up and followed them.
When he stepped outside the saloon he noticed Comet was not there.
"Comet?" he asked.
"Pssst!" said a voice from the alley.
Clark turned and saw Comet in his human form, also known as "Bronco" Bill Starr, a rodeo trick-rider.
"Don't tell me," said Clark. "A comet passed overhead?"
Bill Starr nodded. "Can you get me some clothes before I'm arrested for indecent exposure?"
Clark quickly removed his duster and handed it to Bill. "Put this on."
He turned around and saw Johnny, Haus and Little Jo mount their horses. They were about to ride out of town.
"I have an idea," said Clark to Bill.
"Wait, Johnny!" shouted Clark. "Before you all ride off, I have a big favor to ask."
Johnny, Haus and Little Joe looked at Clark accompanied by a tall muscular handsome blond wearing only a long duster and no footwear.
"This is my friend Bill," explained Clark. "He was robbed of all his possesions, including his clothes. I loaned him my duster just now."
"Sorry to hear about your troubles there, Bill," said Johnny.
"Yes. Anything we can do to help?" asked Haus.
"That's the big favor I wanted to ask," said Clark. "Could you hire the two of us to work on your ranch in exchange for some clothes for Bill? I feel responsible for him, as he's here only because I asked him to come with me to town."
Clark realized he now had to make sure no harm came to Bill Starr because while in his human form Comet had no super powers. If anything were to happen to Comet, Supergirl would want a full explanation from Superman. A scenario played in his mind:
"Let me get this straight," said Supergirl. "Comet, while in his vulnerable human form, was gunned down by some outlaws while you were wooing your prospective boyfriend? Superman, how could you let that happen?"
Then Clark snapped back to reality.
Little Jo and Haus exchanged looks.
"Well, sure. Pa did say we were short of hired hands, so it should be no trouble," said Little Jo.
"Thanks! We really appreciate this!" said Clark.
"Where are your horses?" asked Haus.
Clark and Bill looked at each other.
"Those guys who stole my clothes also stole my horse," said Bill thinking quickly. "And they took Clark's horse, too."
"Darn shame," said Little Jo. "Well, Bill, you can ride with me on my horse."
"Clark, you can ride with me," said Johnny.
Clark beamed. "Thanks!"
He eagerly climbed up and wrapped his arms around Johnny's slender waist.
This is heavenly, thought Clark.
The five of them rode out of town.
Part 14: Dinner Conversation
"Unlucky in love," said Little Jo to Johnny as they all enjoyed dinner. "Those are the words one could use to describe Haus and me."
"He's right, Johnny," said Haus. "That's pretty much what it's been like for us when it comes to women."
"You don't say," said Johnny as he passed the basket of warm dinner rolls to Haus.
"It's almost as if some higher power upstairs doesn't want us to get married and live happily ever after," said Little Jo.
"Like we're cursed," said Haus.
"Maybe you should look elsewhere for a romantic relationship instead of the traditional ways," said Johnny. "How do you usually look for a potential love interest?"
"Well, sometimes a stagecoach would arrive in town just as Haus and I are there, and some sweet-smelling pretty young filly would step out all doe-eyed and innocent."
"And?"
"That's when some crude boorish oaf usually gets fresh with her, so either Haus or I have to step in and rescue her. Things seem to take off from there with the lady taking an interest in one of us."
"But it never ends happily. She either dies or goes off into the sunset and we never see her again."
"Hmm. Maybe it's time you boys started thinking outside the box," smiled Johnny.
Haus and Little Jo exchanged puzzled looks.
"And as for dying or disappearing off into the sunset, well those are two things I don't plan on doing anytime soon," said Johnny.
Haus and Little Jo again exchanged puzzled looks.
Clark and Bill quietly ate their dinner as they listened to this conversation.
He's mine, thought Clark. I saw him first. I've HAD him first. How can I get Johnny away from those two brothers and back with me where he belongs?
Bill politely wiped his mouth with his dinner napkin. He got up, picked up his plate and silverware.
"Thank you for a delicious dinner, gentlemen," he said. "I'd better turn in if I'm to get up early to tackle those chores. But first I'll take these into the kitchen."
"You're welcome, Bill," said Haus. "See you in the morning. Sorry you couldn't meet Pa and our older brother tonight. They should be back from San Francisco in a few days."
Clark got up and followed Bill into the kitchen. Then they headed for the bunkhouse where they turned in for the night.
"Clark, when are you going to tell me why we're really here?" asked Bill as he settled into his bunk bed. "Does it have something to do with that Johnny fellow? I noticed you could hardly keep your eyes off of him all during dinner."
"I'd rather not talk about it. It's not something I feel comfortable discussing," said Clark as he removed his boots and got ready for bed.
"Okay. Whatever." Bill closed his eyes and quietly drifted off to sleep.
Part 15: The Dream
Earlier in this story when Superman and Johnny were still having breakfast in Clark’s apartment neither of them were aware they were being observed by three of the Endless beings: Death, Desire and Dream.
Desire and Dream tagged along with Death because she wanted to know who was responsible for the sharp drop in her workload. She tracked the source to the magical imp from the Fifth Dimension: Mxyzptlk.
"So he’s the reason why I’ve had only a few souls to escort into the afterlife. Just people dying naturally of old age. The ones who should have died in terrorist attacks, murders, traffic accidents, earthquakes, tornadoes and what-have-you simply went on living thanks to that magical imp," said Death to her siblings.
"What will you do about it, dear sister?" asked Desire.
"Do? Nothing. The imp plans to put everything back into motion after he sends that redhead back to wherever he found him. That’ll be in just a few minutes from now."
So they waited and watched and listened. They saw and heard Superman say those hurtful words to Johnny about how last night did not mean anything. They could feel Johnny’s pain and humiliation.
"Ouch. Now that wasn’t nice," said Death.
"I totally agree," said Desire. "You know what I’m going to do about that?"
"What?"
"This!" And Desire used her power to make Superman want Johnny Bart. Not just want him. Superman would become obsessed with Johnny. His emotion would override his common sense. He would travel back in time to pursue Johnny without any regard for possibly interfering with what was supposed to happen in the past.
"Sometimes I crack myself up!" laughed Desire.
"What about you, dear brother?" asked Death. "Care to do anything here before we leave?"
"Funny you should ask. It is true that young Mr. Bart will not remember anything that he experiences here. But there is no rule that says he cannot dream about it."
"Oh, you’re good," said Desire.
"Thank you."
So we now take you, dear reader, to where Johnny Bart slept in the home of Haus and Little Jo. He dreamed of being pulled into the future by a mischievous magical imp. It was a wonderful and delightful dream, but part of it was also hurtful and caused Johnny much pain.
The next morning Johnny woke up with the dream still fresh in his mind.
"Dang! That was weird!"
After he bathed and got dressed he stepped outside.
Maybe some fresh air will clear my head, he thought.
He saw Clark coming out of the bunkhouse.
He thought of his strange dream and of how Clark Kent was really Superman.
That’s crazy, thought Johnny. A man who can fly and do all kinds of things regular folks can’t do. That’s just plum loco.
"Good morning, Johnny," said Clark with a smile.
Johnny just stared at Clark. That dream felt so real, thought Johnny. Could it be it really happened? Did I really travel into the future and do all those things with Clark?
"Something wrong?" asked Clark.
For just a fleeting second Clark was afraid Johnny knew.
No way, thought Clark. There’s no way he’d remember.
Part 16: Mixed Feelings
"Wrong? Uh, no," said Johnny nervously.
Clark used his super-hearing to listen to the rate of Johnny's heartbeat.
He's jumpy and nervous, thought Clark.
Johnny had mixed feelings. Run, run, get away from Clark, thought the scared part of Johnny. No, ask Clark, no BEG Clark to come with me to the bunkhouse, thought the adventurous part of Johnny as he tried to picture how Clark would look without any clothes on.
Then Johnny saw Bill coming out of the bunkhouse.
I wonder if those two are an item, wondered Johnny. Clark did say he had asked Bill to go into town with him. And they do make an attractive couple.
Then Johnny felt a twinge of guilt. Here he was as an invited guest of Haus and Little Jo. But instead of chatting up his hosts he found himself fantasing about being with Clark. Tall, handsome, dark-haired, incredibly built Clark.
Johnny noticed that Bill wasn't shabby-looking either. Tall, lean, muscular, blond and a face very pleasing to look upon.
Gahhh, thought Johnny. I'm surrounded by gorgeous guys. What to do, what to do.
Just then Haus called out to them from the house.
"Are you three going to just stand outside, or are you going to come in and have breakfast? Can't start the day on an empty stomach."
Johnny grinned. He headed for the house. Clark and Bill followed.
I could be mistaken, thought Bill, but it sure looks to me like Clark is checking out Johnny's rear end. Oh, well. It's none of my business. Mmm, do I smell pancakes, bacon and eggs?
Part 17: Breakfast
I thought that red-haired pretty boy gunslinger looked familiar, thought Desire. Now I remember where I've seen him before. It was in the last century. In the home of a wealthy cattleman. I made two brothers in that home desire that redhead. Yes, it's all coming back to me now.
* * *
"Sit here next to me, Johnny," said Haus smiling.
"No, sit here by me," said Little Jo.
Johnny saw Haus glaring at Little Jo.
"Fellas, fellas," said Johnny in a light-hearted voice. "There's no need to argue. I can sit here between the both of you."
Clark fumed. He had planned on playing footsie with Johnny under the table while they had breakfast. So much for that, thought Clark.
Bill looked on with an amused expression on his face.
"Johnny, we were thinking about what you said last night," said Haus.
"Yes," said Little Jo. "Now we need you to settle an argument between Haus and me."
"An argument? Well, if I can be of some help, sure. I'd be happy to," said Johnny.
"Which one of us would you choose? Little Jo or me?" said Haus.
Johnny paused and stared at Haus, then at Little Jo.
"Gentlemen," said Clark. "That's quite some question to ask. Think about it. You're putting poor Johnny on the spot here. No matter who he chooses, it's going to cause some unpleasant feelings for the one who doesn't get chosen."
"I reckon you're right, Clark," said Little Jo. "But we want an answer. We want it now."
"Little Jo thinks you'd naturally pick him," said Haus. "His reasoning being that what better match for a pretty boy than another pretty boy, so he says."
Little Jo smiled his brightest pretty boy smile at Johnny.
"I don't know what to say," said Johnny. He honestly did not know how to choose. Before Clark showed up, Johnny figured he'd simply enjoy the company of both Haus and Little Jo and take his time deciding which he preferred. But now here was Clark sitting at the same table looking all handsome and muscular and gorgeous and oozing sex appeal.
Gahhh, thought Johnny. What am I going to do now?
He looked at Bill. And there's Bill. Beautiful tall blond lean sinewy Bill.
I'm a kid in a candy shop, thought Johnny. So many yummy men to choose from.
Just then a window shattered. Gun shots were being fired from outside.
"Get down!" shouted Haus. Everyone dived down to the floor.
Clark immediately checked to see if the others were all right.
Good, no one's been shot, thought Clark. He used his x-ray vision to see who was outside shooting.
CHAPTER 18: MXYZPTLK RETURNS
Mxyzptlk smiled as he popped into Metropolis after having been gone for ninety days.
"Now to go look up the person I love to annoy the most," he said.
A streak of blue and red zoomed past in the sky above.
"Look! Up in the sky!" shouted a man getting his shoes shined.
"It's a bird!" shouted a woman walking her dog.
"It's a plane!" shouted a hot dog vendor pushing his cart.
"Well, it's not Superman," said Mxyzptlk as he used his magic to catch up with the flying figure above.
The pretty blonde girl in the red cape and blue short-skirted outfit glanced at the magical imp.
"Mxyzptlk! What do you want?" she asked in an annoyed tone.
"Superman. Where is he?"
"I don't know. He left on some personal errand three months ago and hasn't been back. Pretty irresponsible of him, if you ask me," said Supergirl.
"So he left the second string to fill in for him? Did he say where he went?"
"No. And even if he did, what makes you think I'd tell you?"
"No matter. I'll track him down. I'm not stupid, I'll have you know."
"I never said you were. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a city to patrol," said Supergirl as she flew away. Plus I'll be late for an appointment if I don't hurry, she thought to herself.
Mxyzptlk frowned. He hadn't counted on Superman not being there.
"Now I'll have to play detective," said the magical imp as his clothes instantly changed into a brown plaid deerstalker cap and matching suit.
Mxyzptlk blew bubbles out of the pipe in his mouth.
"Where are you, Superman?" he asked himself. He wondered if Supergirl maybe really did know where the Man of Steel was and was just keeping quiet about it. He decided to observe her discreetly to learn what he could.
He found Supergirl taking a break in a popular pancake house. The customers were eagerly flocking around to ask for her autograph and to fawn over her. And lo and behold, guess who was sitting at the same table as Supergirl?
"I really appreciate you agreeing to this interview, Supergirl," said Jimmy Olsen. "Mr. White will be impressed. Here it is my first week as a cub reporter and I'm interviewing the famous Supergirl!"
Supergirl smiled. She was flattered by all the attention.
"It's no trouble, Jimmy. Now, as I was saying, if it weren't for my horse, I'd have never spent that year in -- " but before she could finish her sentence there were shouts and screams and gunfire heard outside.
"Sorry, Jimmy. I'll have to cut this interview short." And Supergirl sped out of the pancake house.
Jimmy sighed. He had no idea when or if Supergirl would be able to finish the interview what with having to deal with the emergencies and crime-fighting while Superman was away.
Jimmy did not notice the man sitting at the next table who looked very confused and frustrated and who muttered something about wishing he'd never overheard her and does it hurt when one's brain suffers from an aneurysm.
Then it dawned on Mxyzptlk that maybe Superman might have traveled back in time to be with Johnny.
"I'll bet that's what he did!" said Mxyzptlk. He instantly changed his clothes from detective gear to that of a cowboy in the days of the Wild West. Then the magical imp transported himself away from present-day Metropolis to the late nineteenth century.
CHAPTER 19: STARTLING NEWS FOR CLARK
I don't believe it, thought Clark. What's HE doing here?
His x-ray vision revealed to him that the shooter outside was Mxyzptlk dressed as a cowboy.
Then he noticed how quiet it suddenly became inside the house. He looked around. Haus, Little Jo, Bill and Johnny were motionless as if frozen.
Mxyzptlk's work, figured Clark. He got up and stepped outside the house.
The magical imp smiled.
"I thought that would get your attention."
"You could have killed someone inside there!"
*
"Impossible. I made sure that the bullet would vaporize after it shattered the window."
"What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same question. So you couldn't resist the charms of Johnny? So much, in fact, that you're willing to leave behind your home in Metropolis and travel way back here to an earlier time period just to be with him. Planning to stay here for the rest of your life?"
"That's none of your business."
"Maybe so. It might interest you to know that isn't the first stop back in time I made to track you down."
"What do you mean?"
"My first stop was three months forward toward the future from this day. I found you and Johnny living together happily as the picture- perfect couple completely in love with each other."
Clark's mouth fell open.'
"Are you sure about that?"
"Oh, yes. So I traveled again backward even further until I got to the day when you first arrived here in Johnny's time period where you met him in that saloon. Saw and heard everything. Do you want to know why I fired this gun into the window right before Johnny answered Little Jo's question?"
*
"Okay, I'll bite. Why?"
"Because Johnny was just about to say that his choice is YOU, Superman."
Clark was stunned. Then he grinned happily.
"Me? He's going to pick me? That's great! Well, too bad for Haus and Little Jo. But Johnny belongs with me. We're perfect for each other, so what do I care?"
Mxyzptlk looked at Clark.
"Now here's what I don't understand. You're supposed to revert back to liking women after you experience full requited gay love, but from what I saw in the future, you and Johnny are still together. I didn't see you tell Johnny you're going back to your own time period to be with Lois. What's going on?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. Why would I change how I feel about Johnny? He's everything to me. I'd have to be crazy to leave him."
"I think there's something else at work here which is making you feel the way you do about Johnny."
"It's love, Mxyzptlk. Plain and simple. Johnny is all I care about. He's all I desire. Nothing else matters. I'm staying here to be with my true love."
"So you're not a bit concerned that you coming back here and changing history could drastically affect events that are supposed to happen? Like people who are supposed to be saved by the Rawhide Kid, only now he's too busy being your personal love muffin? You don't care that he'll neglect his work as a crime-fighting gunslinger just so he can spend most of his time with you?"
Clark shrugged. "Nope. Don't care a bit. Well, thanks for the information about Johnny choosing me. You can leave now so I can get on with my new life here with Johnny."
"But who am I going to annoy back in Metropolis?"
"Don't know. Don't care."
"You don't expect me to pester Supergirl, do you? She's only the second string! You've got to snap out of this and return to your own time period!"
"This IS my own time period starting now. Leave or stay, but just don't interfere. Oh, but unfreeze everyone inside the house, okay?"
Mxyzptlk sighed. He snapped his fingers.
"Done. I see there's no changing your mind. Well, I'm going back to the future. Should be interesting to see how events turn out over there now that you've decided to stay here in the past."
CHAPTER 20: SHOCKING NEWS FOR CLARK
"Wait. Before you leave, I just want to make sure I heard you correctly. You're SURE Johnny will pick me, right?" Clark asked Mxyzptlk.
"Yes. I'm sure. Oh, let me rewind things a bit. When you go back inside the house, sit at the dining table with the others. Haus and Little Jo will be asking Johnny to make his choice."
"I'm there," said Clark as he eagerly ran back inside the house.
"Good luck," said Mxyzptlk.
Clark entered the house. The window was no longer shattered. The others were still frozen and seated around the dining table. He quickly got back in his seat. Then Mxyzptlk unfroze them and the conversation continued.
"Johnny, we were thinking about what you said last night," said Haus.
*
"Yes," said Little Jo. "Now we need you to settle an argument between Haus and me."
"An argument? Well, if I can be of some help, sure. I'd be happy to," said Johnny.
"Which one of us would you choose? Little Jo or me?" said Haus.
Johnny paused and stared at Haus, then at Little Jo.
"Gentlemen," said Clark. "That's quite some question to ask. Think about it. You're putting poor Johnny on the spot here. No matter who he chooses, it's going to cause some unpleasant feelings for the one who doesn't get chosen."
"I reckon you're right, Clark," said Little Jo. "But we want an answer. We want it now."
"Little Jo thinks you'd naturally pick him," said Haus. "His reasoning being that what better match for a pretty boy than another pretty boy, so he says."
Little Jo smiled his brightest pretty boy smile at Johnny.
"I don't know what to say," said Johnny. He honestly did not know how to choose. Before Clark showed up, Johnny figured he'd simply enjoy the company of both Haus and Little Jo and take his time deciding which he preferred. But now here was Clark sitting at the same table looking all handsome and muscular and gorgeous and oozing sex appeal.
*
Gahhh, thought Johnny. What am I going to do now?
He looked at Bill. And there's Bill. Beautiful tall blond lean sinewy Bill.
I'm a kid in a candy shop, thought Johnny. So many yummy men to choose from.
Get ready to have your hearts broken, Haus and Little Jo, thought Clark grinning to himself. Go ahead, Johnny. Tell them you want your great big strong handsome Clarkie-boy to be your snuggle-bear.
"Just say what comes first to your mind, Johnny," said Clark in a nonchalant manner.
Haus and Little Jo stared at Johnny hungrily as they waited for his answer.
Shameful, thought Clark. They both look like they want to jump his bones right here. Although I can't really blame them. Johnny IS scrumptious. That pretty face. Those blue eyes. That adorable little nose. That soft, silky red hair. That perfect body. That cute little butt. I can't get enough of him.
"All right," said Johnny. "I pick Little Jo."
WHAT?! No, that can't be right, thought Clark panicking. Mxyzptlk said Johnny was going to pick ME! Or did that magical imp lie to me? Is Mxyzptlk laughing at me right now as I sit here while my heart is breaking?
"I'm so happy!" said Little Jo as he jumped from his chair and hugged Johnny.
Haus sighed. "Congratulations, Little Jo. I guess I can be a good sport about this."
"Thanks, Haus," said Little Jo. "Well, let's finish this delicious breakfast. You're going to need your energy afterward, Johnny, if you know what I mean. So eat up."
Little Jo winked at Johnny.
"Clark, you don't look well," said Bill. "Are you okay?"
"Uh, I just need some fresh air. Excuse me," said Clark as he got up and headed for the door.
If Mxyzptlk is still out there, I'm going to wring his neck, thought Clark.
CHAPTER 21: JOHNNY'S DILEMMA
Clark stepped outside of the house. There was Mxyzptlk. The imp saw Clark glaring at him and heading straight toward him.
"Don't blame me," he said. "You're the one who screwed up in there."
"What are you talking about? You told me Johnny would pick me! And instead he picked Little Jo!"
"You couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you? You had to say something before Johnny could answer the question. So you blew it."
"What? All I said was, 'Just say what comes first to your mind, Johnny,' and the next thing I knew, he picked Little Jo!"
"You're an idiot, you know that?"
"And you're not making any sense!"
"Do I have to spell it out for you?"
*
"What are you talking about? Spell out what for me?"
"It's not WHAT you said in there. It's the way you said it."
Clark stared at the imp blankly.
"I give up," said Mxyzptlk. "You're hopeless. I'm out of here."
"Wait!"
But Mxyzptlk vanished.
Damn, thought Clark. What did Mxyzptlk mean by that? What was wrong with the way I said what I said to Johnny?
Meanwhile inside the house Johnny slowly finished eating his breakfast as Little Jo happily contemplated all the kissing, hugging and buggering he wanted to do with the red-haired pretty boy gunslinger.
*
Johnny felt very confused. He was going to say, "Sorry, fellas, but I pick Clark." But when Johnny heard Clark say, "Just say what comes first to your mind, Johnny," in that very nonchalant manner, it instantly reminded him of that very same nonchalant manner Clark had used when he told Johnny that the night they shared didn't mean anything. Johnny had felt a rush of emotional pain and humiliation.
But it was only a dream, thought Johnny. Or was it? It seemed so real. So crystal clear. It felt like I'd really been there in the future and stayed with Clark in his apartment.
I'm an idiot, thought Johnny. It was only a stupid dream. How can I tell Little Jo I made a mistake? He looks so happy. I don't want to hurt him. He'll be crushed. But I can't live a lie! I want Clark! What have I done?
CHAPTER 22: NO-HOLDS-BARRED
Clark decided right then and there that he was going to accomplish what he had set out to do.
And this time, thought Clark, it will be no-holds-barred.
Meanwhile inside the house Little Jo took Johnny by the arm and eagerly led him upstairs.
"You'll like my room, Johnny. The bed is very comfortable. Come see for yourself."
Johnny reluctantly allowed Little Jo to bring him up to his room.
It was indeed a very nice room. Little Jo gently pushed Johnny onto the bed.
"See? Doesn't that feel comfy?" asked Little Jo while getting undressed. He removed his boots and shirt. Then he started to unbuckle his belt.
"Yes, it's very comfortable," said Johnny. "Uh, could we just slow down a bit? Let's talk first."
"Why? I know what I want. And you did pick me over Haus, so don't you want it, too?"
He is built very nicely, thought Johnny as he admired Little Jo's upper body.
*
"You're just moving a little fast for me," said Johnny.
Little Jo smiled and moved toward the bed. "Can't help it, Johnny. I want you now. I must have you right now."
Little Jo removed his belt and tossed it aside. Then he started to remove his trousers.
"Come on, Johnny. Get undressed, will you? I promise I'll be gentle with you."
Just then there was a tapping at the window. Little Jo and Johnny turned to look. Both were startled to see Clark peering at them from outside.
"What's Clark doing out there? What's he standing on? We're up on the second floor!" said Little Jo. "And what the sam hell is he wearing?"
Now I know it wasn't a dream, thought Johnny. That's Superman! And he's right outside the window!
Little Jo ran over to the window and opened it.
"I don't believe this! Clark! You're floating in mid-air! How are you doing that? And what's that weird outfit you're wearing?" shouted Little Jo. "Johnny, do you see this? Am I going crazy?"
"I see exactly what you're seeing, Little Jo. You're not going crazy," Johnny said as he stared at Superman dressed in his familiar blue outfit with the red cape flowing in the breeze.
"I'm sorry to interrupt what was about to happen here, Little Jo," said Superman. "Johnny, we need to talk. Would you please meet me outside?"
Johnny nodded. Then he turned to Little Jo.
"I'm sorry, Little Jo. I thought I was free to start something with you, but it turns out I'm not."
"Johnny, you don't seem surprised to see Clark FLOATING OUTSIDE THE WINDOW! Wait a second! You mean you're involved with Clark? But I thought you two just met last night in the saloon!"
"It's complicated. I'm very sorry, Little Jo. I never meant to hurt you."
Johnny embraced Little Jo and gently kissed him on the lips.
"I'm sure we could have been great together," he whispered to Little Jo. "But I have to go now. Thanks for everything."
Then Johnny left the room and headed downstairs.
Little Jo looked out the window and watched Superman gently float down to the ground as Johnny emerged from the house to meet him.
"Haus! You're not going to believe this!" shouted Little Jo as he bolted down the stairs.
"Little Jo, what's all the ruckus about?" said Haus coming from the kitchen. "Why are you half-dressed?"
"Never mind that! Look outside! It's Clark! He's wearing some crazy-looking outfit and he can float! Maybe even fly!"
"Little Jo, did you bump your head on something upstairs? You're not making any sense."
"Will you just go outside and see for yourself?!"
Haus sighed. "All right. Calm down, will you?"
He walked toward the door. Little Jo followed.
But when they stepped outside they saw no one there. No Johnny. No Clark.
"Haus, I swear he was right here! They both were! Clark and Johnny!"
Haus looked around.
"Come inside, little brother," Haus said gently. "I think you need to lie down for a while."
"I don't need to lie down! I know what I saw! Wait! Maybe Bill saw what I saw! Bill! Where are you?"
"Bill went outside back a while ago. He seemed to be in a hurry. Just as well. He has those chores to do."
But Haus and Little Jo never did see Bill or Clark or Johnny again. The disappearance of those three young men remained a mystery to Haus and Little Jo. They found Bill's clothes and boots lying outside the back door, as if he had shed those in a hurry.
Later miles away just outside the spread of land owned by the wealthy father of Haus and Little Jo stood two young men and a white horse.
"Comet, are you sure you won't stay for a while longer?" asked Superman.
"As tempting as that sounds," said Comet telepathically, "I shall return to the future to be with Supergirl."
"I understand. I miss her, too. Give her my love, will you?"
"Count on it. And are you sure about your decision to remain here?" asked Comet.
"Yes," said Superman looking at Johnny.
"Then good-bye and good luck to the both of you," said Comet.
"Good-bye, Comet," said Johnny and Superman. They waved as the horse flew off at super-speed back to the future.
*
Superman smiled at the red-haired pretty boy gunslinger.
"Johnny, do you remember what I said to you that night in the saloon when you asked me if I was just passing through?"
"Yep. You said you might stay a while depending on whether you could find a good reason to stick around."
Superman embraced the Rawhide Kid and kissed him.
"So you'll stay a while?" whispered Johnny.
"For as long as you'll have me," Superman whispered back.
And they lived happily ever after.
Meanwhile back in Metropolis:
"It's the darndest thing, Miss Lane," said Jimmy Olsen. "Not only did Superman mysteriously disappear, but so did Clark Kent. Do you suppose there's a connection somehow? It's been almost a year now."
Lois politely turned away so Jimmy could not see her roll her eyes.
"Uh, no, Jimmy. There's no connection at all whatsoever. It's just a coincidence, that's all. Never mind that all these years I've had my suspicions about Clark Kent and Superman being the one and the same person, only to have my efforts to prove my theory thwarted every time. Oh, no, Jimmy. There's no connection whatsoever."
There was a loud whooshing sound, then a thump. They turned and saw Supergirl who had just flown in through the open window of the office.
"Hi, Supergirl," said Jimmy.
"Hi, Jimmy," said Supergirl. "Ready for our date, Lois?"
"I sure am," said Lois. "Good-night, Jimmy."
"Good-night, you two. See you Monday, Lois."
Jimmy waved as Supergirl carried Lois out the window and flew away. He sighed and looked at the headline of his copy of the Daily Planet: "All Forms of Kryptonite Turned Pink - Still A Mystery".
Somewhere above the city Mxyzptlk was laughing.
THE END