"The Sith Solution" (working title)

by Cap'n Ron Freeze

I posted this on the "Ideas for a fan movie" thread on a lark. I wrote the following after a long day (40 hrs)in around 1/2 an hor and totally off the cuff.

I would appreciate any critiques or opinions upon it. I am an aspiring writer (for 20 years or so!) and would like to see what the prop folks think of this excerise in silliness...

"The Sith Solution"

by Cap'n Ron Freeze

Humm... {Silly mode engaged}

Open on a sun drenched foreboding rock strewn plain. Slow zoom to a small clearing in the docks. Suddenly 2 black clouds, veined with a deep red, form on the plain swirling malevolently with a soft eerie whine. The both coleuses into 2 figures in black (Maul and Vader) several paces and facing away from each other. Both turn dramatically in their respective styles and face each other.

VADER: The Force has brought us here to settle the Question, are you prepared?

Maul glares back with unconcealed venom, but says nothing.

VADER: I see, your fear has paralyzed you.

(beat) and Maul still glares with the eyes of a viper and begins pacing, much akin to a large predatory cat, circling his prey. Vader does not deign to turn and follow his path, but stands as if at ease and unconcerned.

VADER: You may be formidable, but you are not yet a Sith Lord.

Maul continues circling...

VADER: Your bravado is an excellent beginning, but you lack the depth of the true Dark Side. You are still but a babe, lacking the fortitude to climb the pinnacle of anger and hate that is required by the Sith. Your silence speaks volumes. SPEAK!

Maul halts 3 meters in front of Vader in a defiant pose...

MAUL: I am not here to speak, but to kill an old man!

At the last word, Maul, with blinding speed, ignites one end of his sabre and leaps at Vader.

VADER: AT LAST!

Before Maul can strike, Vader flips his hand casually and Maul is deflected by a Force Throw, but lands on his feet behind Vader.

Vader: Let the lesson begin, whelp!

Vader ignites his sabre as well, in time to deflect a blow from the back.

VADER: Good, treachery!

Vader slams his sabre against Maul's and bright hissing sparks fill the air between them and the battle of the Sith ensues. What follows is a duel between Speed and Brute Power amongst the boulders. Neither gaining any lethal ground, but gaining the advantage only to lose it and go on

the defensive. Missiles start to fly, in the form of rocks and small trees wrenched from the ground, from both combatants in addition to the traded blows. This goes on for about 2 minutes, until a face off occurs.

VADER: Impressive, most impressive (tilts his head as if this statement is familiar).

Maul begins to take advantage of Vader's apparent lapse and makes one step forward to deliver a massively swift multiple strike, igniting the other end of his sabre. However in mid-stride, there is a blue flash from behind him and his face wrenches into look of disbelief, then massive pain.

MAUL: OH GWAD, NOT AGAIN!!!

Vader stands stock still and is rewarded by the grisly sight of Maul falling to the ground in 2 angled pieces, slashed from his left shoulder to his right leg spurting gore and viscera. His sudden acceleration to the ground reveals a short, stocky figure behind him. He beeps and whistles while Vader lowers his sabre gaping at the feisty little astromech droid, R2D2.

VADER: R2 is that you?

As R2 rolls forward, Vader does not seem to notice that R2's holoeye has been modified. It is longer and shaped in a familiar form.

VADER: How...

Before he can finish, R2 comes within a half a meter or so and his holoeye flashes and a sapphire blue Lightsabre blade extends from his strangely modified holo-eye which Vader realizes looks like his old sabre. But before he can react, R2's dome pivots to slash Vader in two at the waist. He falls emulating the fate of Maul, but with more gore, of course. He is a BIG guy after all.

VADER: (with a mechanical gasping) What will the world be like without Darth Vader.... (lapses into silence and death)

R2: beeps, clacks and whistles in a somewhat forlorn manner as another figure, in a hooded robe, appears from around a boulder that is roughly 15 meter away and approaches. As he gets closer, he pulls his hood down to reveal Luke Skywalker.

LUKE: (in a somber voice, vaguely of a young non-mechanical Vader) It was nice of the Starfleet guys to lend us this holodeck my Padawan. You have done well, but I question your attack on Maul, it leans towards the Dark Side. Mindful of this you must be or tread the path of evil you will.

R2 beeps in a faintly accusing manner.

LUKE: (in his normal voice) OK, maybe I did spend too much time with Yoda and picked up his speech patterns, but it does not absolve you of your filtration with the Dark Side.

R2 whirrs and bloops in a chastised manner.

LUKE: But, despite that, I think you are ready to bear the title Jedi Knight. Congratulations my apprentice!

A whooshing sound occurs as the Holodeck doors open, suspended in the middle of the plain. Luke and R2 exit through the opening Holodeck doors, R2 beeping and blipping all the way.

LUKE: Now R2, you know Droids can't eat ice cream....

(Swivel pan back to the remains of Maul) his eyes open and he says...

MAUL: DAMMIT! I only got 3 lines this time around....

and Maul's eyes glaze over as we ... FADE TO BLACK

{Silly mode disengaged}

OK, you guys can shoot me now... just remember I haven't slept for 40 or so hours! Right Fyberdyne? >>