Title: Inappropriate Conversation

Author: Islaofhope

Rating: PG-13, implied m/m sex

Codes: K/S

Summary: Kirk and Spock have a conversation in the mess hall. Kirk wishes Spock would have waited until they were alone. Answer to kira-nerys' "Man, I'm so horny" challenge.

Archive: Yes

Feedback: Both negative and positive feedback is welcome; either post to ASCEM or KirkLovesSpockFic or send to Islaofhope@aol.com

Disclaimer: All that is Star Trek belongs to Paramount. The rest of it - well, I just made it up. This is fan fiction, and I won't make any money from it.

Thanks to T'Aaneli for a quick over the phone beta.

"Inappropriate Conversation"
by Islaofhope

"Man, I'm so horny." Spock put down his fork and gazed expressionlessly across the table at his captain.

Jim felt himself growing hot with embarrassment. Well, if they had been alone, Jim might have been hot with arousal at Spock's words. However, they were seated in a corner of the mess hall, and Spock had dropped his statement into one of those odd lulls in conversation in the crowded room - the kind of lull that always seemed to happen just when someone makes an embarrassing statement. Jim had always considered himself to have an overabundance of luck, but on this occasion, he decided that he was suffering from a severe shortage of "mess hall conversation" karma.

"Spock." Jim's voice came out in a hiss. "Would you keep it down?"

Steepling his fingers in front of him, Spock said, "There is something in this that causes embarrassment?"

"Um, yeah. It's something that should only be said privately." Jim pushed the peas around on his plate. He was still too embarrassed to look up at Spock. And he sure wasn't going to look around to see the curious expressions of the other people in the room. He could just imagine the stories that would be spreading all over the ship. The Enterprise had one of the best communication officers in the Fleet, but the informal rumor mill was even more efficient than Uhura was.

"Explain." Spock's expression was still deadpan.

Putting down his own fork, Jim wondered if Spock was teasing him, or if he really was too naive to know why what he had just said was inappropriate to be said in public. "Well, for one thing, it makes people uncomfortable and that's a great way to get yourself embroiled in a sexual harassment investigation."

Spock's deadpan expression shifted slightly to a frown. "Surely, Captain, you are not planning to charge *me* with sexual harassment."

Jim sighed. "No, of course not. It's just...I wish that you would have waited to talk to me about this when we were alone." Jim pushed his plate away. "I think I just lost my appetite."

"Very well, sir. I do not think that you will suffer greatly from limiting your caloric intake this afternoon." Spock stood up and placed his empty dishes on the tray.

"Thanks a lot, Spock." Jim was surprised at how irritated he was at Spock. And not just for the crack that let him know that Spock had noticed that he'd put on a couple of pounds. It wasn't that he was ashamed of having taken Spock as his lover, but it was undignified for a starship captain to be the subject of rumors and speculative looks on his own ship.

Jim led the way out into the corridor. "I don't know why this couldn't have waited until later. As it is, I have three meetings this afternoon, and you know we agreed to have dinner with Bones tonight. We're not going to be able to find a minute to be alone until halfway into the beta shift."

"We are alone now." Spock stopped in the corridor, and Jim turned to look at him, astonished by the urgency in his tone.

Looking both ways, Jim noted that they were indeed alone. But how long was that going to last? He had the mad thought of slipping into an empty briefing room and finishing the conversation. But he'd postponed this meeting with Giotto for two days already. "We can't talk about this now."

Jim led the way to the turbolift shaft.

Once in the turbolift, Spock astonished Jim by touching the override button. "Jim, please, we must talk about this now. Lieutenant Michaels advised me to speak to you about it. I must know what to do."

Jim crossed his arms across his stomach. "Spock, I said we would talk about it tonight." He pushed the button, and the turbolift began to move again.

Spock pushed the override button, and the turbolift stopped again. "Jim, it is not my intention to take advantage of our...personal relationship, but I would ask for only a few minutes of your time. Your meeting with Commander Giotto is not scheduled to begin until fifteen minutes from now."

Jim was astonished at Spock's persistence. He felt annoyance turning to anger, but then his anger evaporated at the pleading look on Spock's face. Spock really never asked him for personal favors. And Spock did so much for him - both personally and professionally.

With a sudden warm smile, Jim leaned forward and placed his lips on Spock's. Spock's arms automatically went around Jim's waist and slid down to cup Jim's ass. Jim murmured his pleasure as he rubbed his groin against Spock's and kneaded Spock's ass. Their mouths opened, and their tongues entangled. Jim backed Spock against the wall of the turbolift, and he had a feeling that it was only the fact that they were leaning against each other so hard that kept them both on their feet.

After a moment, Jim let go of Spock, and stepped back. He almost laughed when he saw Spock grab the handrail to keep from falling.

"Jim, I..." Spock blinked several times. His cheeks were flushed and his lips looked bruised. "I do not understand what inspired you to...act so..."

Jim did laugh then, and he pushed the override button once more. Just before the turbolift stopped at his destination, Jim said, "Spock, I could have told you what Riley meant when he shocked the hell out of your tech by walking into the lab saying, 'Man, I'm so horny.' But it was so much more fun demonstrating." He stepped out of the turbolift, and turned to look at his first officer, who was looking seriously confused. "See you tonight, Spock."

Just before the doors slid closed, Jim heard Spock say, "That does not answer my question. I still do not know whether I should consider disciplinary action against Mr. Riley."


Giotto relaxed when he saw the captain walk into the briefing room. From the look on Captain Kirk's face, he was in a toweringly good mood. That was a good thing because Giotto was worried about having to ask for an increased head count. They were going through redshirts far too quickly.

- finis -