Embers

by AngstPuppy

Fandom: Stargate

Pairing: Jack/Daniel Jack/ Teal'c

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Daniel is missing, presumed dead.

Note: This was the first fan fic I ever wrote. Several people had such lovely opinions...it wasn't THE ONE TRUE PAIRING (tm), and I was also told that "...Teal'c is not a sexual being..." Umm..kids, you did notice the wife and son, didn't you....? Anyway, for every nasty comment, there were two really nice comments and encouragements. Good thing, or I'd have stopped writting all together.

Embers
by AngstPuppy

Fire. Engulfing, devouring….

Devouring one of the few people he cared about and the only one he actually….

"Jack! Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…"

"Daniel! Nooooooooooooooo……"

His own anguished scream brought Jack O’Neill out of an anything but restful sleep to sit bolt upright in his bed. Tremors racked his body despite the sweat that poured off him, dampening the sheets clenched around him.

That image wouldn’t let him go, wouldn’t let him rest.

Daniel. Flames. Daniel. Dead. It couldn’t be true.

//But it is, Jack old fella. And the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can…. What? Go on with life? Like you did after Charlie?//

Muttering curses Jack untangled the sheets from his legs and got out of bed. No sense laying down again, he’d only see the same thing over and over, hear Daniel calling his name, feel the
helplessness as the water closed around him.

First; a shower. Then some whiskey. Maybe a lot of whiskey. Anything to stop the dreams.

*

When Jack turned he saw that everyone had left but Teal’c. He hadn’t even noticed that the house had grown quiet.He tossed back what was left of the bourbon in his glass, noticing it didn’t even burn on the way down. That was not a good sign. What the hell though, he could still feel the pain, so obviously he was in need of more liquid comfort.

He went to move past Teal’c to the bar, glancing up at the big man on the way by.

"Party’s over Teal’c, time to go home."

The Jaffa’s face remained impassive as usual, but his words were solemn and precise.

"I do not think you need to be alone O’Neill."

Lifting a half empty bottle and pouring himself another generous portion, Jack laughed with out a trace of mirth.

"Alone? I’m not alone. I have all this lovely bourbon to keep me company."

//And the memories.//

The glass shook slightly as he brought it to his mouth. //Shut up// He told the insidious voice inside his head.

"I do not think more alcohol will help."

"Ya know Teal’c, you think too much. Must have caught it off of Da…niel" His voice caught on the name and he tossed back the bourbon in one swift gulp to cover the tremor.

Having caught the hesitation in O’Neill’s voice, Teal’c moved toward him and reached for the glass. "You are still in pain."

"Yeah, well I’m working on that."

He pulled the glass out of Teal’c’s reach and turned to refill it. He felt a large, warm hand on his shoulder and the low voice spoke again.

"Inebriation will only dull the pain. It will not take it away."

Jack shrugged the hand off of his shoulder. "Whatever works."

As he picked up the bottle again a large arm snaked around him and the bottle was deftly plucked from his hand.

"You have had enough."

Jack leaped out and away from the looming presence behind him. Despite the alcoholic haze clouding his reflexes he brought his arm back and in a graceful arc the glass left his hand to explode against the wall.

"I’ll decide when I have had enough!" He only heard the rage in his shouted words, but the Jaffa, heard the anguish. Reaching for the bottle Teal’c held high above his head, he stumbled into the big man, grabbing his shirt in clenched fists to keep from falling.

Teal’c brought the bottle down on the bar in a hard thud that was followed by a shattering of glass as the bottle collapsed under the pressure. Amber liquid flowed from the shards to stream over the edge of the bar and drip on the carpet. He released the neck of the bottle to let it land among the shards and brought his arm back to rest passively at his side.

Jack shook his head. "Major alcohol abuse there Teal’c. Not nice wastin’ a man’s booze. I’m gonna hafta hit ya."

Teal’s eyebrows made their familiar way toward the symbol on his forehead. "If it would make you feel better."

Jack pondered the statement for a moment. "Yeah, I think it just might."

//I have to hit something or I’m gonna explode in a million pieces.//

Jack’s thoughts faded into the background as he straightened up and swung at the brick wall masquerading as man standing in front of him.

There was a satisfying ‘crack!’ as fist connected with jaw.

Military training had overridden even the amount of alcohol in Jack’s system and the punch had been substantial. Still, the big man hadn’t moved so much as an inch, though his eyes did narrow a bit.

"Damn. You’re a tough son of a bitch." Shaking his hand a bit to ease the pain, Jack wound up to have another go at the brick wall.

This time the punch did not connect, instead he found his still smarting hand enclosed in a much larger, much stronger one and felt his arm being lowered.

"Once."

He gave a puzzled look to the hand holding his, the arm pushing his away, and shook his head.

"Nope, don’t think so. Pummeling. Pummeling sounds like a good idea right now."

He became a whirlwind of motion; lightning fast jabs that, in spite of the training behind them and more likely because of the alcohol in him, did not connect. He wasn’t trying to beat on Teal’c, really, just lashing out blindly, trying to destroy the pain within him by hurting something outside of him.

It didn’t take Teal’c long to subdue him. Jack had turned to find something that would stay still and let itself be punched when he found himself wrapped tightly in two strong arms that trapped his own at his sides. Jack felt the trembling start and try as he might he just couldn’t stop it. Couldn’t stop the sorrow and anger from overwhelming him. He also couldn’t pry himself from Teal’c’s strong grip.

"Damn it Teal’c, LET ME GO!"

The Jaffa didn’t release him, if anything he held him tighter as if to try and draw the shaking of his friend’s body into himself.

Jack felt warm breath on his ear as soft words penetrated his fogged brain.

"DanielJackson is my friend also."

It was the softness of the words, the plain and simple truth of them that defeated Jack. He felt his body drain of all of the false strength it had had moments before, felt his knees give way.

Teal’c still didn’t release him, instead he sank to the floor behind Jack until they were both sitting beside the liquor cabinet, Teal’c leaning up against it with Jack pulled back against him.
Jack’s chin rested on his chest, his next words spoken low but in a rush.

"I know, God, I know, but you don’t….I…."

"Love him."

It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, a plain, if not so simple, fact. And the last straw to Jack’s fragile self control. From deep inside him, from where he had pushed all the sorrow he couldn’t show at the memorial service, at the wake, came the pain, the deep wracking sobs that threatened to tear him apart. But Teal’c was there to hold him together, to simply hold him as it all washed through and over him. He had be turned in the Jaffa’s arms and he instinctively buried his head in Teal’c’s shoulder as the big man cradled the back of his head. Large warm fingers smoothed the hair at the back of his neck, soothing him without words and the other arm stayed firmly around him squeezing him gently to let him know he was still being held safe.

"I couldn’t tell him. Didn’t know. Didn’t want him to. Hate me. Now. Too late." Punctuated by sobbing breaths, the words were muffled where they fled into the cloth of Teal’c’s shirt.

"O’Neill." Only his name, spoken so softly Jack could hardly hear it above his own labored breathing. Again. "O’Neill." He felt his head being eased back so that he could look the man holding him in the face.

"DanielJackson could never hate you."

The words were spoken with such surety, such calmness that Jack was stunned, his gaze riveted to the dark eyes above his. There he saw something which stunned him even more. One single tear slowly making its way down that ever stoic, ever unreadable face.

"Teal’c," he whispered his friend’s name, knowing the loss of control that one single tear meant, knowing and finally understanding, that his wasn’t the only pain being shared this night.

He reached up a shaking hand and gently brushed the tear away with his thumb. Of its’ own volition, his arm stayed raised, his hand sliding around to rest behind the other man’s head. He was still caught by the other man’s eyes, knowing now; recognizing what he had been too wrapped up in his own pain to see. Just because the Jaffa didn’t show his grief didn’t mean it wasn’t there.

"Teal’c, I’m so…" One large hand came quickly toward him to brush fingers across his lips to quiet him. He felt the head under his hand go back and forth once, to negate the need for apologies. The hand did not leave his face, it brushed his own tears away, smoothing the damp hair back from his forehead, then trailing down again to brush softly against his lips. Jack’s gaze didn’t leave those eyes above him, and now he saw them change, grow impossibly darker.

He saw it coming, saw the dark face move towards him, could have stopped it with one word. He didn’t, couldn’t. He’d seen the need in those dark eyes and knew they merely reflected what they saw in his own.

The kiss was gentle, tender even. Not what he expected from a man of the Jaffa’s size and strength. Then Jack was beyond thinking, beyond wondering about consequences. He only knew his need, the need to be held the need to sink himself in feeling, not thinking. He gasped as he felt Teal’c’s tongue lick across his lips and when his mouth opened he brought his own tongue forward to meet it. The Jaffa was taking it slow, allowing their tongues to mingle, not pushing Jack any farther than he wanted to go. Jack didn’t want slow though. As the kiss went on he felt a hunger well up inside of him; a hunger he hadn’t known was there. He tightened his grip on the back of Teal’c’s head and pressed his mouth urgently against the other man’s, deepening the kiss and eliciting a low growl that came from deep in Teal’c’s throat. He brought his lips slowly away from Teal’c’s, capturing the bottom one in his teeth and scraping it through them as he leaned his head back. One look in Teal’c’s eyes made a moan escape Jack. The look of raw desire alone made him arch his back and he felt his erection slide along the fabric of his sweats.

He felt Teal’c’s hand slide up under his shirt, squeezing and caressing muscles as it went. When the fingers found an already erect nipple and tweaked it Jack jumped and heard himself yelp. He saw Teal’c’s brow furrow in question and he barely had the breath to answer

"It’s OK." As the fingers remained and rolled the nub a bit more insistently he managed to breathe out "Oh, yessss, very much OK…"

The hand left his chest and he only had a moment to complain with a low sigh before he felt the bottom of his tee shirt tugged up. Jack released Teal’c and raised up so that the shirt could be pulled off over his head. He then felt himself being lowered gently to the floor, far enough away from the liquor cabinet so that he was out of the way of the dampness of the spilled bourbon and safe from any stray glass that may have lodged in the carpet.

He looked up in time to see the Jaffa remove his own shirt and toss it aside before Teal’c hovered over top of him. Jack felt his wrists being taken in hands that were large enough to wrap around them with room to spare and then found his arms being raised over his head and planted firmly on the floor above him. He closed his eyes as he saw the big man lower his face once more and felt his lips captured in a searing kiss. There was nothing hesitant in this kiss, mouths opened, tongues tangled, desire met with need. No quarter asked, none given.

Teal’c’s mouth left Jack’s allowing him to draw in much needed air which was quickly expelled again as he felt that same mouth capture and suck on his earlobe. This time when he arched his back he felt an answering hardness brush downward against his own. He reflexively spread his legs and felt Teal’c thrust his hips down between them.

Neither knew whose mouth the moans were coming from. Neither cared.

Teal’c’s mouth left Jack’s ear to work its’ way down his throat, nipping and licking along the way. When his tongue found and licked around one of Jacks nipples, Jack could no longer stand for his hands to be held above his head. He wanted to touch that body above him, to feel those rippling muscles that could just as easily rip a man in half as do what they were doing now. Teal’c released Jack’s hands and slid one of his down the side of the man beneath him. Reaching a cloth covered hip, he brought his hand sideways until rested between Jack’s legs, where he then proceeded to gently squeeze and rub the erection tenting the pants it was trapped in. Jack squeezed the shoulders he had been caressing and thrust himself into Teal’c’s hand until it too was taken away. Not able to make any coherent sound of protest, he made do with a disappointed growl and heard Teal’c hush him in a soothing tone. He then felt Teal’s fingers slide underneath the waist band of his sweats and pull them down, backing off slightly so that he could take off sweats and socks in one swift motion. He then stood, leaving Jack shivering in the chill air where there had once been a warm body.

Teal’c smiled slightly and then swiftly removed what was left of his own clothes, boots, socks, pants and underwear disappearing at an amazing rate, and made his way back to Jack who was starting to shiver for real again. Teal’c brushed his hands across Jack’s face, down across his chest and hip as if calming a skittish horse.

"Easy my friend, I am here. I will not leave you."

Jack couldn’t speak, just nodded and brought his arms up to pull the larger man down on top of him. Cold, he was so cold. He felt Teal’c’s body cover him as if trying to drive that inner cold away. He couldn’t take the big man’s full weight on him and Teal’c knew that, he simply lowered himself enough that their bodies were touching and began a slow, sensuous stroking of Jack’s body with his. He began with his chest, slowly bringing that smooth surface over the wiry one beneath him. Then their cocks met and Jack felt the hardness of his friend vie with his own, felt the velvet of the Jaffa’s heavy balls sliding between his legs. He arched upward and was met once again with Teal’c’s answering thrust. No clothing impeded their movements now and their rhythm quickened as did their breathing. Teal’c slipped one hand under Jack’s back to raise him slightly off the floor and cradle him to his chest. Jack’s fingers dug into Teal’c’s shoulders as he spread his legs and let the sensations overtake him. Suddenly his stiffened, threw his head back and screamed.

"Ah, God! DANNY!"

Teal’c buried his face into Jack’s neck and with a low rumble that began deep in his chest released his own seed to join with that of Jack’s already spreading between them.

It was then Jack realized whose name he had screamed at his climax. He tried to push the big man off of him, but it was like trying to move a mountain.

"Oh, God, Teal’c. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that."

Teal’c finally raised himself off of Jack and never letting go of him, brought them both back to a sitting position. Putting his hands on either side of Jack’s head and making the other man look at
him, he said "It is quite all right...Jack. Do not be sorry for the love you feel. I am not."

Jack smiled at the name change and then pulled his friend to him and hugged him fiercely. "Thanks," he whispered.

Teal’c looked around and finding nothing better, used Jack’s sweat pants to clean them both off as best he could. Then he stood, drawing Jack up with him.

"It is time for sleep, I think."

Jack swayed and would have fallen back to the carpet if Teal’c hadn’t put an arm around his waist and walked him to the bedroom.

"Yeah, I think too. I think." Jack shook his head and didn’t protest as Teal’c pushed him down on to the bed. "I’m not making much sense, am I?"

He felt the bed dip as Teal’c crawled in behind him.

"You’re staying?" he asked sleepily as he felt the solid weight of his friend at his back and those strong arms pull him back to the other man’s chest.

"I told you I would not leave you. Now sleep."

Jack mumbled an indistinct "OK" as he let himself melt back into the other man’s embrace. Just before sleep overtook him, his eyes flew open.

"Teal’c?"

"Yes?"

"He’s not dead."

Jack let his eyes slide shut as he felt the arms around him tighten for a moment then relax again. The last thing he heard before he let sleep take him was Teal’c sure, firm voice.

"I know."