Author: Lauren

Feedback and Questions: svu_chicky@hotmail.com

Pairing: Alex Cabot, Olivia Benson

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Harsh words have been exchanged, and Alex doesnt handle it very well...

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Dick Wolf, The Story Idea however is copyright to me!

NOTE: I would like to dedicate this Fanfiction to the one person who has always been there, the one person who loves me for who i am and inspires me to love others...and to the one person who holds my heart... *Victoria*...Love you lots

A hard rain beat down on the streets of Manhattan. All people hid indoors, or ran towards the street with a rainbow of different coloured umbrellas, trying desperately to hail the nearest cab. All but one that is. A tall, usually attractive blonde woman walked slowly, looking through unseeing eyes, hearing only the sounds of cruel words said by her to the woman she loved. She was wearing the same six hundred dollar work suit she had put on more than twelve hours previous, that would now be ruined by the drenching rain. She didn't feel the cold of the air, the chill of the water, her mind and body were numb, only harsh words ran through her head.

"If you removed your head from your ass every now and again you might realize there are some things more important than your career." These words echoed through her mind. A tear broached her eye at the thought of her reply, it was so harsh she felt physically ill at the time the words escaped her mouth hours earlier.

"Well, if you stopped feeling sorry for yourself about your shitty conception circumstances, maybe you'd understand what I'm talking about." The look on Olivia's face ripped her heart out. She had deserved to be thrown out like the dog she was.

It was now four hours later and Alex once again found herself on Olivia's doorstep. She looked down at the freshly picked yellow carnation she held in her hands, and couldn't help but feel like some corny stereotype. She was about to turn and walk away when the door opened.

"Alex…?" Olivia stepped into view and studied the standing silently woman before her. Here stood Alex, a woman who was usually tall, proud, passionate and strong, but now was soaked, wearing the same suit she had worn all day, her usually glowing golden hair now wet, un-brushed and a light shade of brown, stuck to her face. Her posture slumped, her makeup long gone, and a gorgeous yellow carnation in her hands. Olivia's heart melted, all earlier disputes forgiven, this was more of an apology than she could have ever wished for. She stepped forward, wrapping Alex in a warm embrace. After several minutes, Alex began to shake, a mixture of coldness and emotion running through her body. Olivia pulled her inside, closing the door behind her.

"God Alex, you're shaking…c'mon, lets get you cleaned up." Alex nodded and followed Olivia into the bathroom. Olivia began to unbutton they grey jacket of Alex's work suit which now felt unusually heavy with the soaked up water, and folded it up, placing it beside the basin. Next she slipped the skirt down Alex's pale legs, placing it with the jacket. Before taking two steps to turn the shower on, allowing it to warm as she returned to remove the remainder of Alex's clothes, before making short work of her own. she
took Alex's hand, leading her towards the shower, allowing her to step in before joining her, closing the clear screen behind her. Olivia slipped her hands around Alex's waste from behind her, pulling her close and lightly brushing her lips against her cheek. Alex turned to face her.

"I'm so sorry Liv, I …" She was cut off by Olivia's finger on her mouth. she shook her head.

"Forget about it, its in the past," Olivia released her tight grip from Alex's waste, reaching behind her for the bottle of shampoo. "Now let me wash you're hair for you." Alex sighed as Olivia's long fingers gently massaged the shampoo into a lather on her hair. Stepping back to rinse it out, she repeated the process
with the conditioner. Stepping back, once again allowing Alex to rinse her hair, Olivia squeezed out some melon scented gel onto the soft sponge and began to massage it into her body.

As Alex stepped out, Olivia handed her a bathrobe she had left here one night she stayed over and donned her own. Olivia hung Alex's suit up in front of the heater to dry and the couple sat silently side by side watching the muted television. Alex turned to face Olivia kissing her lightly on the cheek, looking deeply into her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I love you so much, and this was my fault…but here you are trying to make me feel better, when it is you who was hurt the most." Alex said, voice full of emotion. Olivia scooped her up so she was now sitting on her lap, facing her front on.

"Alex, nothing you could ever say would make me stop loving you like I do, and I don't think you know that. That's why I am doing this, to make you understand that." Olivia replied, lightly brushing her lips
across Alex's, lingering on the soft mouth, until she heard a sharp gasp from the other woman. She pulled back, to see tears threatening to spill from the blue pool of Alex's eyes.

"I don't deserve you Olivia Benson, but I sure as hell love you. The thought of me losing you almost losing you…its too much to bare." Alex sighed, tears running down her cheeks. Olivia lifted her hand, and wiped them away.

"You could never lose me Alexandra, why cant you understand that?" She whispered in return, emotion threatening to flood from her eyes. She pulled Alex close, embracing her, feeling the warmth of her body against hers. She kissed Alex's forehead, slowly making her way down her face to her cheeks and lips. As she made her way down Alex's pale neck, she placed one hand on her face, cupping her cheek, and used the other to brush open the robe, continuing her line of kisses down between the valley of her breasts to her stomach. Not to stimulate, but to cherish, every part of the woman. Alex's breathing changed rhythm, causing Olivia to look up from trail to the now dark blue eyes of the woman on top of her. Alex pulled Olivia's head back towards her own, meeting her lips once again. Olivia let her hand gently push aside Alex's robe, running her fingers ever so lightly along a random path over her skin, forming a trail of Goosebumps, and eliciting a shiver from the younger woman. Olivia looked deeply into Alex's eyes.

"I want to show you how much you mean to me Alex, and I never want my eyes to leave yours." She whispered, her forehead touching Alex's lightly. Her free hand gently massaged Alex's left breast, while the
other continued its journey along the sensitive skin of her stomach, causing the younger woman to have an unexpected jolt in her abdomen. Alex lifted her head to meet Olivia's, kissing her softly and tenderly. Olivia responded by lowering her hand to Alex's moist folds, and parting them expertly with one finger, causing Alex to pull away and gasp. Their eyes remained locked on one another, although as Olivia slowly entered Alex's moist centre with one finger, her eyes fluttered, and she let out a low moan. Olivia began to pick up her pace to medium level with her hand, letting her thumb stroll lightly up to her swollen bud, massaging it lightly with her hand. Eyes never closing, Alex's flushed skin began to tingle and she could feel the orgasm nearing.

"I love you Olivia." Alex moaned quietly as the wave rushed to meet her, leaving her breathless and exhausted. Olivia bent her head lightly to kiss her forehead.

"C'mon, lets put to bed Alex." She whispered, lifting the petite blonde in her arms and walking towards the bedroom. She tucked her in, and stood watching her sleep quietly for a few moments before slipping in beside her, kissing her back lightly and snuggling close to her.

"I love you too Alex." She whispered.

END