Title: Cogito Ergo Sum

Author: Oh

Pairing: Clark/Lex pre-slash implied

Warnings: pointless humor

Spoilers: up to "Whisper"

Summary: Clark gets a new superpower

Feedback: slash_spam@yahoo.com

Author's Notes: I want to thank Michael for beta reading. You rock!

Archive: Sure


Cogito Ergo Sum
by Oh

Clark stood in front of his mirror and slipped his new glasses on for the first time. All of a sudden the world seemed to be a brighter...clearer space than it ever was before. Suddenly an excruciating pain hit him, bringing him to his knees. He could feel *something* happen in his head. Then he blacked out.

When he woke up again, he saw the worried faces of his parents looming above him. Jonathon was the first one to speak.

"Who are you?" holding up his rifle. "And what are you doing in my barn?"

Clark sat up, and Jonathon shot him.

"Ow" Clark said. "What did you do that for?" Taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes, Clark stared angrily at his father, when all of a sudden Martha screamed out.

"Clark, it's you! We almost didn't recognize you."

Clark stood up, ignoring the aching pain in his head. A whirlwind of images hit him, almost making him fall back down.

"Dad? Why did you shoot me? I was obviously no danger to you. Lying there on the *floor*. Unconscious. Maybe moving a little bit, but...shooting? Don't you think that is a bit of an overreaction?"

"I was only trying to protect my family! Plus, it is my constitutional right as an american citizen to carry a gun for self protection. It is an honoroble thing my son."

Martha smiled at her husband. Then she smiled at Clark. Then she smiled at the barn wall understandingly. Life was good and simple.

The pain in Clark's head got worse.

"Dad! I mean whatever you are saying is full of pathos but...but...it doesn't make any *sense*."

"I am still your father, son! As long as you live in my house, you *will* do as I say!"

Clark raised an eyebrow at his mother.

Martha smiled and stroked his hair. Nodding at him.

"Clark, you really should spend more time with Lana. She is such a nice person."

Jonathon interrupted her. "And, while you're at it. Stay away from that Luthor. He can't be trusted. All Luthors are evil. Don't you remember our neighbour Mr...something...and how he got robbed of his farm. And...Annabelle. Your cow. You know the one you had since you were a little boy. And how Lex killed her in cold blood?"

"But Dad. You're still not making any sense. At all. And..Lana? The Cheerleader? The girl who asked me to stay away because she felt it was my fault she got trampled by a horse and than graciously forgave me for not being around. Yeah, such a *nice* girl."

Then the pain overwhelmed him and he passed out.


TBC

Please join us again when Clark learns to use his new superpower - the *brain* and realizes his father sucks. And learns form Lex that
*sucking* doesn't have to be a bad thing.

The next episode of Smallville: "Coitus Ergo Sum."