Title: The Runaway

Fandom: The Sentinel

Pairing: Jim/Blair

Rating: NC-17

Status: W.I.P. Revised

Archive: Yes, but not yet.

Series/Sequel: Not yet, but who the hell knows?

Disclaimers: Not for profit, no copyright infringement intended.

Notes: Praying fans don't shoot me: Went over it with the thesaurus.

Summary: NC-17/(or XXX since that's the rating I'm comfortable with)

Warnings: Graphically explicit Slash oriented sexual content.

THE RUNAWAY

By Roy’s Girl

Blair Sandburg's exodus from Cascade and his own private hell had been six months before. Amtrak had deposited the heartsick, lonely, and injured man at the railway's northern most passenger station. From there, Blair had harkened used skills learned during his wandering childhood to buy eight huge husky and wolf cross-blooded sled dogs and the heavy freight style sled he knew he needed, and the supplies and traps he would use in the coming winter. There had been one full-blooded wolf there, and he'd told him he'd only put him into harness if the wolf wanted to be. Somewhere in some hidden part of his soul he still believed in Jim. The animal's eyes had glowed eerily for a moment before the wolf had placed himself into the leader's position at the head of the sled. He paid the astonished seller's price for the Guide knew that Wolf was no wolf. From there, the Spirit took Blair where he most wanted to go, and that was into the most remote wilderness area the Spirit could find. If Jim bothered to find him, it would be a long, cold, bitter trail, and if he didn't, well, at least he wouldn't be around to hurt Blair more than he already had.

Sandburg had given Jim everything he had to give, including his life. Jim had returned hate for love, bitterness for caring, contempt for Blair had been obvious. Sandburg had reached the point where he could no longer stand the utter indifference that existed when loathing did not, he just couldn't handle it anymore.

This wasn't the first time he had left, but it was the first time that his departure had been so carefully planned and carried out. He left little to chance: He had deposited Cheyenne pepper, in a fine powder all over the loft, knowing what it would do to the one Sense that could stop this before it got started. Just as with a blood hound, the finely powdered hot pepper would temporarily fry Jim's Sense of smell, make it impossible for the Sentinel to See through watering eyes, it would even take Taste offline as the pepper overpowered that too. What was left, Hearing would do Jim no good, for Blair would be too far away for him to Hear. It would take a week or more before Jim would be able to smell or taste anything, and hours before he could even see well, never mind See anything. By then the trail would be cold and stale. Blair had known he would have to work his ass off to prepare for the near-artic winter, but he'd made it.

Now, in the middle of January, with a howling blizzard raging outside his cabin door, he sat watching Jim stamp his feet until he was relatively snow-free. All Blair's thoughts fled as he stared numbly at his former friend, then he rose wordlessly to relieve Jim of his heavy outer wear.

"You secure your dogs?" Was all Sandburg asked.

Ellison shook his head, "Ffffreezin'"

Blair sighed and went to do it. He added the eight dogs of Jim's team to his own when he fed them, and gave them kennels. He re-entered his home, and stood looking at Jim.

"I can't handle it, Jim." Blair told him flatly. "I gave you everything I had in me, there's nothing left. All I got from you were insults, or the silent treatment, loathing, and worse. You treated me like I was your own private whore. I am NOT going back, so don't ask." Blair paused, his pain-thickened throat causing his voice to catch, then break.

"I know only one thing for sure, and that's that I'll never love another human being, it hurts too damned much!" He told his stunned Sentinel, "There's the storage closet, and there's a cot in it." He pointed at a lop-sided door hinged with leather straps. Use it." Sandburg went to his bedroom, shut the door and slid an old-fashioned bar across to secure it. Then slowly, he sank to his knees, buried his face in his arms, and wept.

Jim listened to Blair's agonized confession and felt his heart break. Next, Blair had denied him the comfort of his arms, and fear touched Jim Ellison's soul. Tears filled the big man's eyes when he heard the heavy thud of the bar being slid home, and the sound of Blair's heart-broken sobs. He buried his face in his hands: What had he done? Guilt and self-loathing filled the Sentinel`s soul, as he rose to follow Blair: He'd broken him, that's what. Jim knew that with a heavy heart. His beloved's eyes had been dull and bleak, his expression utterly devoid of hope. It was an expression that did not belong on his Blair's face, nor did the heavy steps that had replaces his normally light and happy bounce. He went to the locked door, and spoke through it, trying to talk to the bitterly crying young man within.

"Blair...I'm sorry. Oh God, I didn't understand, baby...I'm so sorry." He heard the crack of dark emotions in his own voice, and tried to steady it. "We can stay here, love. I, I quit the force, I had to find you, I couldn't stand the blairlessness my love, my heart, my own, my Blair..." Then Jim dissolved into tears of his own, unable to hold back the heartsickness of what he had done to his Guide. He'd not only made Blair run from him, he'd made him hide from him as well. In the most inaccessible place that Blair had been able to locate, he had begun a new life, far from the people he needed and who cared for him the most! And far from help if he had a life threatening accident, as he was so prone to do. This great northern wilderness was no place for the cold-sensitive Guide, either. And Blair caught illnesses so easily... Jim knew the other man had stopped caring whether he lived or died. No wonder the big Wolf outside had snarled at him, and he could still feel the blow his own Cat had nailed him with, leaving three deep gashes that had delayed this journey. The scars would be there for the rest of his life to remind and warn him of a time when The Blessed Protector had been a constant threat to his own Guide!

Jim sank to his knees, his face buried in his hands, his head bowed as he wept for all that he'd lost, for the pain he'd caused, for the damage he'd done...it had hurt to hear Blair tell him that he'd felt like Jim's whore. And Jim knew why he'd thought so, but he wasn't: It wasn't like that at all. But as memories crested in his mind, he understood why Sandburg had been made to feel so.

The sound of the bedroom door's opening went unheard and unfelt. Jim didn't know that Blair was beside him until he felt arms encircling him. Although Blair's own senses were no match for Jim's, his Guiding sense told him that Ellison was sincere for the first time in their relationship. No one but a Guide could discern truth from fiction where a Sentinel's emotions were concerned.

Ellison's arms went around his Guide's waist and pulled him into his lap. He drew the young man closer, cradling him in his arms, showing true tenderness for the first time. As Blair's cheek came to rest on Jim's broad shoulder, he trembled.

He had known lust with Jim, but not true passion only loveless sex, but somehow he knew that tonight was going to be different. Before Jim's first trembling caress, before he first hesitantly touched his lips to Blair's temple, Blair knew.

When he finally raised his head to look into Jim's eyes, he saw love shining back at him, that...and sheer wonder.

Jim was filled with both, love for Sandburg, and wonder at the sheer forgiveness that was Blair.

"I thought caring, thought loving was a weakness." Came the whispered words. He gently swept Blair's hair out of his love's face, and smoothed it back. "I was wrong, I've never felt so strong; loving you strengthens me." He said softly. There was fear in Ellison's tone when he asked, "Have I destroyed us? Have I lost you?" And the fear was there because he knew he deserved to lose not only his Guide's love, but the Guide as well.

"No, hush Jim. I love you. No love listen to me: I've loved you from the beginning. From the first day. Part of that is the bond, but only a small part. Most of it is just you.

Jim gazed into the younger man's eyes for a moment, then crushed him to his heart. He felt Blair cling to him breathlessly: Waiting.

He set his Guide aside for a moment as he got to his feet, before scooping Blair up into his strong arms and heading for the huge bearskin rug he'd seen, and Smelled in front of the fire. He knew two things, it was a fresh kill, and that Blair was unharmed. That was why he wanted to do this on the skin.

He had never been as gentle has he was now, as he laid Blair down tenderly. He stepped back and stripped, . He didn't join Blair at once this time, instead allowing the Guide to look his fill, enjoying the young man's eyes as they played over his body. From his broad shoulders, over his strong bi and triceps, down his hard pecs, and flat, hard stomach to his blood engorged phallus that grew even harder under that heated regard. Rising proud and strong from Jim's pubic bush to jut out at a right angle to his body, it pulsed.

But then Blair's voice called to him and his arms beckoned to him, and Jim could no more have refused that embrace than he could have stopped the tides. As he watched, Blair wiggled out of his clothes, and with a groan that was half way to a sob Jim laid down next to Sandburg, accepting his welcoming arms as the gift they were. `How could I have abused this trust' he raged silently. He pulled the smaller man into his own aching arms, and let him into his heart.

Blair knew the instant the barriers dropped, "Oh Jim..." He breathed and opened to Ellison as does a new flower to the spring. The strained, weakened bond between them leapt like a live wire. Like a living thing it grew strong and more powerful than it had ever been.

"How could I have..." Jim choked out. "I won't let you down again, love." He whispered in mortal anguish. "I'll never give you reason to doubt me again. Now, let me love you. Love you like I should have from the start."

Jim was intent on finding out what pleased Blair most, and then how much he could take of the pleasure Jim was giving him. His smaller body undulated under Jim's questing mouth, responding helplessly as Jim's wet licking continued. He cried out in pleasure, his head was thrown back and his eyes were wild as Jim's lips closed over one dark nipple, pulled it into his mouth, and sucked at it while still licking. Blair's body arched as he gasped, then gasped again as he felt Jim's warm hand fondling him, stroking his cock.

Sandburg was rock-hard, and when Jim moved lower to lick and nip at his legs and feet, he thought he'd pass out from the extreme pleasure. Then Jim covered his shaft with tiny licks, lapping at him and driving Blair nuts. He was rapidly reduced to a blithering idiot, by the time Jim finally took his dick into his hot mouth to suck it. Hard! Blair cried out a warning as he felt himself lose control. He held Jim's head still, and began to fuck his mouth desperately. Blair cried out as he lost it, spewing hot cum into Jim's waiting mouth, and felt Jim swallow it.

Jim wanted more, needed more, but Blair's earlier comment made him hesitate. He didn't want Blair to think that he was going to treat him like shit again. He wanted to please Blair, so much! So he stopped, until Blair got on all fours to present his asshole to his lover.

"I don't want you to think..." Jim delayed, "Damn it, I'm not just going to...oh God...Blair..."

Sandburg remembered the hurtful words and is his eyes filled with tears. "Love me, please Jim, I need this! I need your cock inside me!"

"I've hurt you too damned much already!" Jim cried out.

"It's okay, love." At that point Blair had simply gotten up and on all fours, spread and presented.

This sight of Blair's tight little opening galvanized Jim. "I've got to taste you." He whispered hoarsely, then lowered his mouth to his astonished Guide's anus and began to kiss it deeply. He licked Blair hungrily, as the Guide trembled and moaned under the newest assault of Jim's tongue.

"Oh God, nuhhhh!" He cried out as waves of pleasure washed over and through him. He moaned already rock hard from the touch of the wet warmth laving his asshole. Jim slid his tongue into Blair's heat, over and over. Blair had collapsed to his elbows, which lifted his rump higher, and he spread himself wider to urge Jim to ream him even deeper. He gasped as Ellison's warm hand began to stroke his cock, the thumb skimming over his balls gently as Jim frenched Blair's ass. Jim loved the way Blair was responding to what he was doing to him, loving the taste of his shitter as he ran his tongue in and out of Blair's tightness. He enjoyed making him writhe under his lickings, and clutch at the skin under them as Jim ate his ass. Blair's moans were loud, his rump pushed at Jim's mouth eagerly, wanting the man who was tongue-fucking him to do more. He was nearly weeping in frustration as Jim laved and kissed his asshole.

*He loves this* Jim thought, *So do I: God, I'm going to eat his sweet tail every chance I get. He tastes so good…* But for now Jim slid a finger up Blair's ass, and fucked him with it slowly. Blair's ass-walls clung to his digit, squeezing it, and Blair's moans sent shivers through Jim's body. He added another finger, and used it to briskly fuck Blair's bottom, scissoring it and soon had added a third digit. Blair was babbling by now, urging Jim to take him, to bury his length inside his ass. Still Jim hesitated.

"Do it! Oh God, Jim, fuck me!" Blair wailed as he tried to maneuver himself under his Sentinel, trying to make him mount. "Please! Fill me!"

Finally, Jim believed him and pulled the younger man under him, still face down on the rug. Blair shoved his ass in Jim's direction, raising to his knees again, and felt Jim's tip at his entrance. Jim slid into his love's body easily, slipping into him deeply, and heard his pleasure-filled moan as he did so. He waited a moment, then began to slowly fuck Blair's ass. He drove Blair nuts as he pumped his cock in and out with long, slow, measured strokes. Blair howled in frustration, but the slow loving didn't last long, for Jim's need to cum was far too close to allow it, he picked up the pace, and began rutting on the Guide's ass, heaving and hunching over Blair's back, kissing his shoulders and neck as he took him. Blair was already cumming wildly, crying out again and again, urging Jim on, as he splattered the bearskin, though Blair remained hard.

Both men were groaning and crying out their needs, and Jim's powerful hips drove his penis into Blair until his pubic bush ground against his tight asshole. The two men's orgasms hit together this time, their voices blending into a single cry as they spasmed. They tried to hold onto he endless instant, then let they themselves drift.

Jim slid sideways, rolled to his back, then pulled Blair into his arms. "You're my whole world, little one." Jim told Blair quietly. "You're my life! God, Blair, I love you so damned much! Don't leave me, don't hurt me…please." Jim whispered passionately.

"Never again. Hold me?"

"You'd better believe it."

Blair laid his head on Jim's chest, "Always, Jim?"

"Always, love." Then both men slid silently into sleep. .

Ellison held Blair tightly, finally turning onto his side with Sandburg's head resting high on his upper arm. He kept both arms tight around his love.

Blair slept soundly for the first time in a year, snuggled closer to Jim than his skin. He was awakened in the dawn by Jim, would was spreading feather light kisses over his face and jaw. As soon as Jim became aware that Blair was awake, he began to work his way wordlessly down Blair's slight form, only to have his lover squirm around under he lay underneath him, in a "69" position. For a long time the only sounds in the cabin were the sounds of passion and pleasure as each gave and each received the other's mouth and tongue. Eventually Blair switched to licking and tonguing Jim's heavy balls, slurping at them, and rolling them around on his tongue as he sucked the big, hairy spheres. Blair rolled, bringing himself atop Jim's large body, and turned to kneel between his sentinel's muscular thighs. Jim let him raise his legs high to make sucking his aching nuts easier. Ellison was moaning continuously now, his cock standing straight up as he writhed and twisted in his need. He was crying out that need, too. Then Blair's tongue shot up his ass and Jim shook as he cried out in delighted surprise.

"Roll over, Jim. I want to do this right." Blair told him huskily. "Get on your knees, and spread yourself real wide, so I can see your asshole. I need room to work in, baby. And I know you'll love this as much as I do."

Jim obeyed helplessly, he did enjoy Blair's mouth on his anal orifice, and his tongue inside it had been heavenly! When Jim was in position, Blair licked slowly up and down his crack, before sliding his wet tongue deep into his shitter. Jim moaned, and Blair saw goose bumps ride all over his rump. Grinning, Blair continued to tongue-fuck Jim's tight ass. Blair drove Jim nuts, before finally rising to his knees to mount and penetrate Jim's virgin hole. With a hiss of pleasure, the big man backed toward Sandburg's invading fingers as his Guide carefully stretched him. He humped his lover's talented hand urgently. When Blair was sure that Jim was no more than a mass of quivering nerves, he mounted him. His hugeness slid into Jim slowly, gently opening him to the pleasures Blair intended him to receive.

"Do it, Blair! Take me! Oh God, your cock feels so good in my ass!" He moaned as he begged Blair to fuck him. "Don't stop, love! Ooooh, yeah, do it, yeah harder!"

Blair didn't let him down: Blair never let him down. He drove into his sentinel's asshole like a man possessed, and listened to Jim's urgent pleas for more! His hips pumped his dick steadily in and out of Jim's virgin hole, gasping at his tight heat as he screwed Jim's ass. Jim looked back over his shoulder at Blair, his blue eyes full of wonder, love and lust. Blair buried his penis utterly inside Jim at the sight of that look. Groaning he really started thrusting, reaching around Jim to hold and stroke his own cock, which made Jim go wild with pleasure. "Fuck me, Oh God, yes! FUCK ME!" He screamed as he shot hot cum all over Blair's hand, felt Blair's hips bucking against his firm cheeks, and then felt the dull thudding impacts of pure liquid fire that drenched his bowels. He moaned, knowing Blair had just cum in his ass. He felt boneless, happy, and sated as Blair tipped them both sideways. They drifted off to sleep that way, with Blair's cock still deep in Jim's ass. Jim's last thought as he began to doze was that they would never be alone and apart again. They were as one.

END