Return To Innocence

by Ophelia

Arthur's note: This is my first Sentinel piece (shaking like a leaf here). Please be nice, feedback is always more then welcome. The lyrics are noted with **.

Dedication: To Claudel for pushing me, beta reading for me and giving me the confidence to actually finish this story.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Sentinel characters, nor do I make a claim on them. These characters are the property of Pet Fly Productions and UPN. I am not getting paid for this. Please do sue me.

WARNING: B&D (of sorts) is here folks. If that is not your thing, please do not read on. NC-17 J/B.

Summary: Blair tries to show Jim that he can take control.

By Ophelia
July 8, 1998

Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion

Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence.

If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
~Enigma

Blair circled intently, looking at his love. The beat coming from the stereo almost deafening, the cry you could almost get lost in, given the chance. The loft was dark, except for the fire, giving an orange-gold hue to the living area. The heat was nice. Not overly worm, but enough to keep the chill off.

Jim's strong, proud chest gleamed in the firelight. His jeans, faded from the wash, fit every curve. You could tell by the look of them that they had a nice comfortable feel. Blair loved those jeans.

It had taken a lot to bring him to this night. Hell, it had taken forever simply to convince Jim to sit in the chair and listen to the music. But he had, a few promises, a few soft looks...

/And agreeing to do the laundry for the next Month…/ Blair's mind mused.

But none of that mattered. He was here and he was listening. Jim would be his tonight. That was the point.

"That's it Jim, feel the music, let it touch your skin, your heart, your soul… Listen to the words… Believe them… Let go…"

"Chief, is this such a good idea. I mean what if I don't come back… I could zone…"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then let go."

As the song played again Jim realized that Blair had set it on a loop. He knew this was going to take some time. And not knowing exactly what his partner wanted from him made it all the worse. But still here he sat. In front of a roaring fire, on a chair that was not too comfy to say the least. Music loud, almost too loud, coursing in the air around him. Blair had said to tune it to a soft roar in his head, something about going with the feel of things tonight.

So now his lover circled him. Giving commands that he was not sure he could follow. What was Blair up too? Not that this wasn't exciting. Seeing his baby intent on making him feel something new. Chest shimmering in the firelight, the hair there looking so soft and tempting. If only he could rub his check over it. Feel its silky softness. Now that was a feeling he could get into. Letting his eyes wander more, seeing those blue eyes dazzling behind the wire frames. Hair secured at his neck. That would be the first thing to go. That tie, free that hair, let it fall free as his lover panted his name…

"Jim! You with me man?"

"Sorry chief… "

"What were you looking at?"

"Ah, nothing. What were you asking me?"

"I was asking if you were hearing the drums…."

"Drums? Oh yeah the music. Got you covered there, listening to everything. Drums, guitar it is all there. Question, WHY?"

"Okay, we are going to work on getting you too loosen up… And your trust in me."

"Well, I trust you. And I am loose, thanks..." Jim said with his normal enthusiasm.

"Jim, please." Putting on his best pouty eyes, knowing full well that Jim would give in.

Looking into his lover's face Jim sighed. Not able to resist, he resigned himself into a night in the Sandburg zone. "Okay, whatever you want."

"Cool! Okay lean back in the chair and listen to the beat, pick it up."

Watching, he saw Jim relax into the sound. It was loud enough so that Blair thought that he might turn it down. But it had to be all encompassing. It had to be strong. So when he felt the beat on his chest, he knew that the Sentinel would feel it too.

"Tell me what you hear…."

The song played through yet again, and again. Then in a soft whisper his lover answered.

"A cry… a soft rhythm, a beat that begs to be moved to, an aloneness in that song, an understanding almost, a song about permission, of allowing oneself to do something…"

Blair bent to his ear, whispering, "You want to allow yourself to feel?"

/Feel? Great he is losing it. What the hell does he mean?/ Jim began to ponder. Then he really listened to the words again. /Do I want to feel? / A second later the answer was coming out of his mouth.

"Yes… I want to feel you…."

"But to feel me there is a price…"

**Don't be afraid to be weak**

The music began to work it's magic. God, the sensualness of it, the feel of it, the words, it was understanding, it was allowing, it was giving him permission. But was Blair? Was Blair giving him permission to be free?

"Want you…" Jim replied. He would pay the price, whatever it was.

Blair looked at his love. Eyes closed, head back. But the emotions on his face were rampant. You could hear the wheels turning in that head. /He wants you, it's a start/ Blair could not keep the smile that that brought to his lips.

"Put your arms behind the chair lover."

Without a thought the Sentinel did as requested. Thrusting his chest forward, as the position demanded. He felt the soft leather wrap around his wrist and tensed.

"Blair…"

"Shhh lover. This is the price you pay for me tonight…" soft kissing on his neck. A brush of hair on his ear… the sounds and smells of Blair…

Securing both arms and legs. Blair studied his love. This was not going to be easy. He had noticed that his lover had wanted something like this. But not being able to ask him about it meant not knowing exactly what he wanted. Blair had realized after a few times of falling on his lover's chest, after exploding deep inside him, that he could not be held.

**Just follow your own way**

/Only because his hands were tied in the sheets./ Blair reminded himself.

Bound to the bed, almost. Now that is something that a man can want, but not admit too. Dying to feel, but not willing to ask.

/Time to get you to understand yourself a tad more Ellison. Time for me to see you break./ Blair reminded himself of his intent.

Bound to the chair. Hearing the music as his guide had told him too. This felt right. This felt good. Hearing the words, feeling them, letting them convince him. Seeing his lovers ass in those jeans… Feeling his own jeans tighten at the thought.

"Jim, I love you." Blair said as he straddled the chair and sat lightly on Jim's open legs.

"Hmmm"

Running hands up Jim's chest and into his hair, he forced his lover's head back, exposing that neck. He leaned down and began a soft seduction of mouth and tongue. Moving from one side to the other. Up to one ear then back down. Breathing heavy, brushing his chest up against his mates. Nipples touching and caressing.

He felt the chest hair tickling as it softly brushed by. And that mouth! Oh, god, that mouth was working wonders on his neck, and ears. He wanted more. He wanted to taste Blair. Wanted to kiss him till he would pant for air. Needing to do something… He always did something. Except for the times that Blair rode him, he always did something…

**Love**

As if reading his mind, Blair whispered. "Not tonight big guy. You are mine. Let it go."

**Devotion**

"I can't, I need to touch you."

"No"

"Please?"

"No"

"Blair, let me go. This is not right…"

"Why? I see you love, when I make you come from riding your ass, your hands tangled in the sheets, binding you, keeping you from touching me. Now I want to keep you that way. I want to be the one who will say when and if you can touch me this time."

"The sheets? Blair that is not this…"

"But you want it to be?" A soft inquiring tone. "Feel the rhythm… hear the music, let the words move you. And tell me…"

**If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.**

"I don't know anymore…"

"About wanting me? About needing this?"

"No! Always want you baby. Always need you, need this, I think." Shaking his head, he was confused. It was the music, wasn't it? Is this what he really had wanted? For Blair to stake a claim to him? Too brand him with his desires and passions. To be under Blair's control. His heart knew the answers and was screaming them; Jim wondered how he could have been deaf for so long.

"Then say it."

"I can't."

"But you just did. This time tell me what you want."

"Claim me" a soft shy voice replied.

He placed his hands on his Sentinel's face, wanting him to feel the strength he had. "Louder Jim. Mean what you say. It's cool. Place your trust in me to give this to you. To take the control, that you hold so dear. Give it too me, love. Give me your innocence."

Tears poured out of the older mans closed eyes… "Blair"

"Open your eyes, face me, face this. Just tell me."

Blair stared into the eyes of the man he loved and watched the inner struggle play out. So much wanted to give it all up, to follow the music, to believe in what the words were saying. Not to care. To Return to Innocence.

"I want you to take me. Brand me, make me yours…"

"Always, love"

Dipping down he claimed his lover's lips. Soft and inviting, he stroked his tongue against Jim's. Feeling his lover come to pace and lifting his jaw for more. Blair pulled back, not wanting to get this out of hand so fast. Running his fingers over the shoulders and muscles of Jim's chest, stopping to tease the nipples into hard buds, it was not long before they were both panting with need.

The music still floated through the air, creating a haven for the lovers, a place where the outside world did not matter, only the here, and the now. His love, all his.

Standing, his lover protesting, he came around to check his knot. Nibbling on the exposed shoulders and soft flesh.

He hugged the neck he had just kissed, then slid his hands over the expanse of chest that lay for his feast. His fingers stroked the nipples, teasing them to buds that his teeth nipped on to. His tongue bathed them in a glorification on the man. The man that he loved like no other.

Reaching for the jeans, Blair realized that this would not be easy. All he had to do was to get them down just enough. While he was undoing the button and then the zipper, Jim began to murmur nonsense.

"Lover, I need you to lift up. Just enough so that I can get these down"

Jim doing as instructed, it took sometime, bound feet and hands did restrict ones movements. But they were down and he was out. The air in the room brushing against his cock made Jim turn his sense of touch down. Hoping that his guide would not notice.

"I don't remember telling you to turn any of your senses down Jim." Blair admonished his lover.

"How did you?" Jim was confused now. How had his guide known? /Shit am I that transparent?/

"Your erection went down some love. Now turn it up, while I work with you here…"

Jim did as instructed, just in time to feel Blair's hot mouth envelop him. Gentle sucking noises began, as his cock was bathed in his lover's mouth.

/Man he is good at that!/ Jim thought. /His teeth are just right, the suction just enough, I could fuck this mouth forever/

Forever came too soon. Blair slowed down his head, and left Jim open to the room.

Standing, he moved away. It was time for something more.

Blair looked at the cock that stood proudly before him.

"God Jim, you are a god. Golden and glorious in the fire light, and you are all mine." Sighing deeply, Blair made sure that blue eyes were watching him. He slowly took off his glasses and licked his lips.

/Good thing you started to prepare yourself in the shower/ his brain congratulated him /you are going to need it./ It was true. Jim seemed to triple his size where most men would only double. Smiling he snaked his hands down his own chest to his jeans. He slowly revealed his erection. The jeans pooled around his ankles. Stepping out of them, he heard Jim's intake in breath.

"You are the most alluring, beautiful creature." Jim's husky voice filled the loft.

Going to the coffee table and retrieving the oil, Blair stood before his captive. Jim watched as first one, then two oiled fingers disappeared. Never taking his eyes off his lover Jim was mesmerized.

/When did he learn to do this?/ Jim questioned himself, then realized that he didn't care. All thoughts stopped when Blair straddled him looking into his eyes.

"Take me, make me yours." Jim begged.

A deep soul searching kiss began as Blair lowered himself onto Jim. Taking in the length, taking it all.

Jim fought for control as the student moved on him. Gently squeezing him. Bringing him closer to the end. Watching as Blair stroked himself in the firelight as he moved up and down. So wonderful, so erotic, so Blair. Jim felt his orgasm begin in his balls all too fast.

"Oh Blair… Baby… I'm gonna… PLEASE… May I?" words were suddenly lost to him now.

"Yes! Jim, come for me, come in me, your MINE!" Blair all but screamed as his own impending orgasm rocked him.

The two screamed together as Blair's seed covered Jim's chest. They fell against each other, panting for air. Jim had to admit that this was right now. Blair holding him captive, making him see that he could take control knowingly, and do a damn good job of it. This is going to make things interesting.

He felt hands on his, and the leather fell away. Jim brought his aching arms around his sweat-slicked partner.

"You are amazing." He whispered. Feeling the smile on his neck was a wonderful reward.

"Thanks big guy. It wasn't much, but I hope you understood…" His words were silenced as Jim grabbed his face and looked into his eyes.

"It was enough" He smiled. "I love you. I need you, now more then ever." As he leaned in to kiss his now part-time master, he untied that hair tie and ran his hands into the silk that pooled around their faces.

/Now THIS is heaven!/ They both thought.

**The Return to Innocence.**