Title: Conversation 2: Money and Guilt

Author: Tayla

Fandom: The Sentinel

Pairing: None

Rating: PG

Category: Drama

Status: Completed June 23, 2002

Archive: Yes to WWOMB/Peja. All others please ask

Feedback: Yes, please. All constructive criticism will be graciously accepted

Email: tayla36@aol.com

Series/Sequel: Part Two of the "Conversations" snippets

Disclaimers: The Sentinel and its characters belong to Pet Fly Productions and Paramount Network Television. No copyright infringement is intended. The author makes no profit and exists solely on the accolades from fellow fans.

Authors Notes: Here's another one. And I'm already getting away from that strictly dialog idea.

Summary: Jim and Blair talk about money and the dissertation.

Warnings: None

Conversation 2: Money and Guilt
by Tayla


"Where have you been?"

"Out looking for a job."

"You've got a job, Sandburg. You're a police cadet."

"Yeah but that doesn't start for another six weeks. I've already been out of work for two weeks. I need a job; I've got bills to pay. Credit card, student loan, rent."

"Jesus, are we gonna go through this again? You don't have to pay me rent, Sandburg."

"Jim . . ."

"No, Chief, I'm not taking money from you. In fact . . ."Jim ran upstairs and came back down a moment later. He had a small black book in his hands. "Here."

"What's this?"

"That's what I've been doing with your rent check for the past three years."

Blair opened the book. It was a savings account in the name of James J. Ellison and Blair J Sandburg.

"Jim, there's almost twenty thousand dollars here."

"That ought to keep you going for a few weeks."

"Jim I can't take this."

"Yes you can. Blair, I can never repay you for what you've done for me the past three years. You saved my life the first day we met. You died because of me. You gave up your career for me. This" he gestured to the passbook "doesn't even come close."

"But Jim . . ."

"Sandburg, I want you to take it. You're not going to be able to find a full time job right now. No one is going to want to hire you when you have to quit in six weeks."

"Who says I would have to quit? I could just cut back to part time."

"Chief, you won't have to work at all right now if you take that money back. And when you're a cadet you'll draw a salary so you won't have to worry about working while your attending the Academy."

Blair looked like he was going to refuse again.

"Chief, just take the money. Take the next six weeks and relax. You've been working the equivalent of three jobs since I've known you. Just take some time for yourself."

"Okay I'll accept it. Because it will make you feel better. But I want you understand something. I did not give up my career for you. I gave up a career for us. And now I'm going to have a new career and I'm going to be good at it. You told me yourself that I was a good cop."

"Yes, but it's not something that you would have chosen to be."

"Stop feeling so guilty. What happened with the diss was my fault. I should have known the moment I moved in here that it wouldn't work. I certainly should have known after the whole thing with Lash that I was getting to close."

"Getting to close?"

"In anthropological terms its called 'going native'. It happens when the observer identifies so much with the subject that he loses his objectivity. That happened to me fairly quickly. And Brackett finding out about you. Man that was like the universe smacking me upside the head and telling me I shouldn't publish. But I did it anyway. I figured I could have my Sentinel and publish, too."

"Chief, you didn't publish. Naomi screwed it up before you had the chance to change the names."

"Your name shouldn't have been on it in the first place. I was being arrogant. I wanted to see what it would look like with our names in it. It was stupid. It was the impulse that you get when you see wet cement and you leave your handprint. I just wanted to see the whole story with our names in it. But besides that even if I had changed your name, someone could have figured it out. I should have changed my thesis topic long ago."

"You've been saving up for that little tirade haven't you Chief."

"Yeah I guess I have."

"Well you shouldn't keep so much bottled up inside."

Blair laughed. "That's funny coming from you, man."

Jim laughed with him for a moment, then got serious again. "You know that I don't blame you for any of the dissertation mess. I know you didn't mean for any of that to happen."

"Yeah Jim. I know."

"And I never really apologized for some of the stuff I said when we were in the middle of the media circus. I'm sorry."

"Whoa Jim, are you feeling all right?"

"What's that supposed to mean, Sandburg?"

"Just that you never apologize verbally, man. You just do something nice for me and then we move on."

"And what have I done for you lately?"

"You gave me a badge and twenty thousand dollars. That's pretty nice, Jim."

"Yeah well, maybe you can keep the Volvo running for more than a week at a time."

"Hey, that car's a classic."

"Whatever you say Chief. What's for dinner?"