What Did He Say?

Pimping Challenge from Peja

Author: Patt

Rating: NC-17

Pairings: Jim/Blair

Status: Complete

Date: 08/23/03

Category: Humor

Summary: Jim overhears Blair say 'pimping' and asks about it. Silliness abounds.

Warnings: m/m Goofy, is that a good warning?

What Did He Say?
by Patt

Jim walked by Blair on his way to the front door and thought he heard Blair say, "Pimping."

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing. I was singing a song. That's all." Blair smiled at his partner. "Ready to go."

"Bullshit, Chief. There is no song you were singing that has pimping in it." Jim was pleased to catch Blair in a lie.

"I'll sing it for you, but you won't like it. It's not your style."

"Why not?" Jim asked, opening himself up for ridicule.

"Because the guys that sing this song are alive."

"Shut up and sing it." Jim didn't believe this story for a minute.

"Here goes. And don't say I didn't warn you." Blair began to dance around like crazy and Jim knew he was in trouble.

// He was pimping, pimping, he was pimping and he's all mine.
His ass is mine; he's pimping.
His shaft is mine; he's pimping. //

When Blair got to this part, he pushed his pelvis out and began to fuck the air. It was driving Jim nuts.

// Fuck his ass and make him scream.
Fuck his ass and give him cream.
He's pimping just for me. He's pimping.
Can't you see?
Fuck him. Fuck him hard.
Fuck him until he yells he's pimping.
He belongs to me; he's pimping. //

"Please stop." Begged Jim.

"You asked for the song. Now you're bitching?"

"I didn't think it was really a song. God, that was horrible." Jim wiped a hand over his sweaty face and it was only 7:00 a.m.

"What do you mean it was horrible? My voice?"

"No, you have a nice voice even if it was for rapping. They lyrics were too much for me to handle. I can't imagine being a gay man, having to listen to shit like that." Jim explained.

"So in other words the song wasn't pimping." Blair asked keeping a straight face.

"Yes, that's what I mean. It was so far from pimping, it was beyond belief. Chief, what the hell does pimping mean?"

"Jim, if you gotta ask, you're too old." Blair walked out the door and got into the truck.

"I'm not old." Jim said as he climbed in.

"Jim you just made a face getting into the truck. You're old."

"So in other words, I would never be pimping." Jim asked.

"I think you're safe big man." Blair teased.

"Maybe someone else would think I was pimping." Jim said defensively.

"Jim, no one would say it to your face."

"So maybe they'll say it behind my back." Jim gave him a 'so there' look.

"Dream on, hot stuff." Blair started laughing.

As they walked into the bullpen Jim headed in a different direction. Blair had no idea where he was going, he was just glad they had finished the pimping song discussion. What a fucking nightmare.

Jim walked into the break room and listened to the song that Brown was listening to. It was the tune that Blair was signing this morning, but it sure as hell wasn't those words. Jim smiled to himself as he walked out of the room.

Blair was already busy on a report when he saw his partner go into Simon's office. Next thing he knew Jim was standing there and he said, "I'll be back in about an hour, Chief."

"I'm your partner. We go out on calls together." Blair was pissed.

"It's not a call. It's private. I'll be back soon." He waved at Blair as he got onto the elevator.

Blair shook his head wondering what Jim was up to now. Blair then found himself singing the pimping song to himself making him smile.

As Jim neared the Bullpen, he could hear a very quiet rendition of the Pimping song being sung by Blair. He got off the elevator and smiled at his partner.

Rafe walked over and said, "So how goes it, Ellison?"

"Pretty good." Jim took his Jacket off and he had a tee shirt on that said, "Pimping."

Rafe and Brown both burst out laughing. Blair jumped up and said, "What are you laughing at?"

"He's not exactly pimping material." Rafe said laughing.

"He is too. Take that back." Blair was yelling by this time. Jim just stood back and watched Blair do his thing. // Oh yeah, I'm going to let him do his thing to me tonight. //

"Are you and Ellison a couple?" Brown asked.

Blair turned red and said, "Yes and he's pimping. So there."

"Good enough for us. Way to go, Ellison." Rafe gave him a high-five as he walked by.

"You knew that song wasn't real?" Blair asked still blushing.

"I heard the real song in the break room and then I knew. You were looking at my ass and saying pimping. To you, I was pimping. I want you to do all of those things you sang about. Simon said we could take off early."

"Jim, we just got here. We can't leave yet."

"Blair, do you want to." Jim whispered the lyrics, changed somewhat.

// Fuck my ass and make me scream.
Fuck my ass and give me cream.
I'm pimping just for you. I'm pimping.
I love you too.
Fuck me. Fuck me hard.
Fuck me until I yell I'm pimping.
I belong to you; I'm pimping. //

"Okay, we've been here three hours. What more could Simon want?" Blair rushed to the elevator and waited on his man.

Once in there, he asked, "Why today, Jim?"

// Because I'm pimping and need to be had.
I'm pimping, and want my lover to be bad.
Fuck my ass and make me howl.
Fuck my ass and hear me growl.
I'm pimping, just for you.
I'm pimping and love you too.
Fuck me hard, and fuck me fast.
Make that feeling last and last.
I'm pimping. Just for you.
I'm pimping and I love you too. //

"Jim, if you don't want me to come in my jeans, in the elevator, we better get out of here."

"You're on, Chief. I love you."

"And I love you. We'll talk more about this later. Right now all I can focus on is that pimping ass. Get it moving." Blair growled and Jim laughed as they rode downstairs.

The drive home was quiet. Mostly because neither man wanted to come in the truck, in their jeans, without anyone touching them. Yes, they were sluts.

"Jim, have you ever looked at me and said to yourself, 'He's pimping'?"

"No, because up until today, I've never used this word. But Blair you are pimping. Big time." Jim smiled over at his new lover and he began to drive faster.

"Jim, do you think we're both being sluts? We're jumping into this awfully fast." Blair asked hoping for a good answer.

"Blair, I've been warm for your form since I met you. So to me, it's taken forever. I do think we might be slutty, but that's all right." Jim teased.

"And it doesn't bother you that I want to fuck you?"

"Does it bother you that I want to fuck you, Chief?"

"Touché."

Jim parked at the loft and they ran up the stairs and into the loft. Both men acted a little shy.

Jim finally broke the silence and said, "I want to see you naked so I can sing the song to you."

"You first. I want to see this pimping body. Get a move on." Blair was so cute when he was bossy.

Jim was naked in record time and Blair started singing that stupid pimping song. Boy did it make Jim hard. In fact Blair was able to think of all the words while he fucked Jim and sang to him at the same time. There was a lot of singing, growling, howling and kissing as the night wore on.

They lay in each other's arms and Blair said, "Oh yeah, you're pimping."

"Thank you. So are you. I love you, Blair."

"And I love you, Jim."

As Jim started to fall asleep, he heard Blair singing the pimping song and they started all over again.

Jim might be pimping, but he was going to be damned sore tomorrow.

End: What Did He Say?