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UNWRAPPING

By Scribe

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*sn-i-i-i-f*

"Here, Chief."

"I don't need a handkerchief, man."

"But you have a sniffle."

"No, I don't. I was just appreciating the smell of the tree. Remember, I don't have the Sentinel senses like you, so I have to really suck it down for the full effect."

"Speaking of sucking things down..."

"You know, I'd say that the fresh scent of pine makes Sentinels horny, but you don't jump me every time you polish the furniture, so I guess it isn't true. Have you got that thing properly screwed into the stand yet?"

"Speaking of screwing..."

"Shit! Hands off the crotch, Big Guy, or I may lose hold of this thing."

*twisttwist* "There, all done. You can let go now, Chief."

"Damn, that's pretty!" *grab* "Okay, let the decorating begin!"

"Stop! Give me that! What do you think you're doing? You don't start with icicles--you finish with them."

"Why?"

"I have to give you a reason? Okay, because if you don't, you end up wearing more of them than the tree."

"I can accept that. You know, I had a girlfriend once--her cat kept eating the icicles--slurped 'em up like spaghetti. It's a wonder the booger didn't get his insides tied in knots, but they kept coming out in the end."

"I didn't need to know that."

"Yep. You could look in his litter box and see silver glints all through the..."

"I said I didn't need to know that. Here, make yourself useful. Untangle the lights while I go get the star. I left the bag up in the loft."

Blair took the mass of wires and bulbs as Jim started for the stairs. "Damn, who took these off the tree last year?"

"Rafe. A very, very drunk Rafe. I had the gang over for New Year's, and about two fifths into the evening, they decided it was time I took down my tree."

"Hm."*unloop unloop* "Erm." *drape untwist* "Shit. How do I get that...?" *drop* "Crap!" *turn grab* "Double crap!" *step tug* "Oops." *turn tangle pull duck scrabble* "Arrrrrrrrgh!"

"Chief, you didn't try to plug those in before I..." Jim trailed off. He walked slowly around Blair, studying him. Finally, he said, "The tree, Einstien, the tree. If you want to look Christmassy, couldn't you just wear red-and-green plaid flannel?"

"Very funny. Ha, ha--it is to laugh."

"You know it makes me hot when you quote Daffy Duck."

"Got news for ya--try and jump me while I'm decorated like this, and we'll both be picking colored glass out of very uncomfortable places. Get me out of this."

"I don't know. I think I ought to get the Polaroid."

"Jim."

"I have months of potential blackmail material here. One picture on the bullpen bulletin board..."

"Jim..."

"When I think of the mileage that Megan alone could get out of this..."

""Jim! Untangle me right now!"

"Give me a compelling reason why I should."

*pause* "Get me untangled, and I'll let you light me up."

"Hold still." *unwrap unwrap unwrap*

The End