The Way Of The Shaman

by Morgana

Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Fandom: The Sentinel

Rating: NC-17

Pairings: Jim/Blair

Summary: Incacha didn't die during 'Warriors' and things evolve differently from canon

Warning: Alternate Universe

Disclaimer: The Sentinel is a creation by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo and belongs to Paramount Pictures, Pet Fly Productions & UPN.

THE WAY OF THE SHAMAN

by Morgana

Restlessly, Blair tossed and turned in bed. A nightmare had a tight hold on him and although he tried to escape its claws, it continued to pull him back to confront him with his worst fears and hopes. His head jerked to the right, recalling the burning sensation Incacha's fingers had caused on his bare skin when the Chopec had grabbed his arm. For an injured man the Chopec had possessed a remarkable strength.

He'd tried to pull away, to shake off the offensive hand, but Incacha had been relentless. Hearing the Chopec speak Quechua had irritated Blair. Yes, he knew some basic Quechua words, but was unable to grasp the general meaning and he'd looked to Jim to translate the words. Shivers had run down his spine, seeing the fearful expression in the Sentinel's blue eyes.

Blair flung himself onto his right side, clutching the pillow while the dream drew him in deeper. Jim's words had stunned him and he'd seen a similar shock to which he was feeling in his partner's eyes.

'He passes over the way of the shaman to you. He wants you to guide me to my animal spirit.'

Blair experienced the vivid panic that had stirred in the pit of his stomach all over again and he shook his head vividly as dream and reality mixed in his sleep. He jerked upright in bed, still vehemently shaking his head and repeating words he'd said before. "Jim, ask him how I do that. I don't know how to do that." He clearly recalled fighting a panic attack that had rushed through him, almost rendering him helpless, but he'd fought the panic then and he fought it again now. He had to be strong for Jim's sake! The Sentinel still needed a guide to show him how to control his senses!

Jim's desperate tone when he'd called to the Chopec still echoed in Blair's ears and miraculously, Incacha's eyes had fluttered open again. The Chopec shaman was still fighting death, wasn't ready yet to give up this life and explore the next. Don't die! Blair had prayed. You can't die! I don't how to be a shaman!

And then the medics had stormed inside, pushing them away to take care of the injured Chopec. Blair's breathing, which had sped up during the dream, grew regulated again as he woke up. Opening his eyes slowly, he found himself safe in bed. His sheets were soaked with sweat and his bed looked like it had barely managed a viscous attack. Rumpled, he sat upright and pulled his knees close to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. Man, that was an intense dream! Briefly, he'd been back in the living room, hoping Incacha wouldn't die.

And he didn't die... Incacha was at Cascade General Hospital and Jim was watching over his Chopec friend. Blair had offered to keep Jim company, but the Sentinel had politely declined, telling Blair to get some sleep and that he had everything under control. Of course, he's in control of his senses. Incacha was his first guide... his true guide? That thought alarmed him.

Blair rested his chin on his knees. He knew why he'd had that dream. I'm afraid Jim will turn toward Incacha for advice now that the Chopec is back. And let's be honest, I don't have what it takes to be a shaman.

It'd hurt when Jim had told him to stay at the loft. He'd wanted to be there for Jim, to help him through this, but apparently all Jim needed was being close to Incacha and making sure that the Chopec shaman was being treated for his injuries. Had Incacha taken back his rightful place at Jim's side?

I'm a selfish bastard. Incacha doesn't understand English so it's only logical that Jim wants to help out. I know I'd freak out if I found myself surrounded by strangers, whose language I couldn't understand. Was he jealous because Jim was with Incacha instead of him?

And Incacha only passed the way of the shaman on to me because he thought he wouldn't make it. Now that he's alive he'll realize he made a mistake and he'll rectify it. That thought made him feel relieved, because he didn't know how to be a shaman, but it also saddened him immensely. Briefly, he'd felt special, but now that Incacha would survive his injuries there was no longer a reason to name a successor. Not that I know how to be a shaman! Why would Incacha to choose me? Incacha would stay with Jim until his injuries had healed and probably teach Jim everything the Sentinel needed to know in order to gain complete control of his senses. Then, when Incacha would return to his village, Jim would no longer need a guide at all. Why can't this just be a bad dream?

Blair got to his feet, unable to go back to sleep and left his room. Pacing the living area, he saw the faint remnants of Incacha's blood on the fabric of the couch. He'd tried to clean it, but had found it almost impossible to remove it completely. Blair sat on his heels next to the couch and let his hand hover over one of the angry red spots.

His blood... Incacha's blood... Respectfully, he got back to his feet and stepped away from the couch. Jim's voice had sounded urgent when he'd found Incacha dying in his living room and the Sentinel's eyes had been filled with agony, an emotion that Blair hadn't seen there often. Maybe just once, when Jim had taken out Lash and had found him drugged.

"What do I do now?" Blair looked about and his eyes came to rest on the clock. Almost four in the morning. He should return to his bed and try to sleep some more, but he feared dozing off, knowing that the dream would return the moment he closed his eyes. Why were Incacha's words haunting him?

The ring of the phone cut through the dark living room and Blair jumped back, his back touching the wall now. He knew it was probably Jim, calling to update him on Incacha's condition, but he didn't trust his voice right now and let the answering machine take the call.

"Chief? Thought you wanted to know that Incacha is going to make it. They want to keep him for observation so I don't know when I'll be back. He doesn't know the language and he'll be disorientated when he wakes up." Jim paused. "Guess you managed to catch some sleep after all. I'll check in with you tomorrow."

The unexpected silence made Blair shiver. Hearing Jim's voice like that had impacted hard. He should be at his friend's side, watching over Jim and instead he was here, alone... Abandoned? Is that it? Do I feel abandoned? Man, I really got some self esteem issues here! Incacha and Jim became very close in the jungle of Peru, Jim told you that! It's only normal that he wants to make things easier on his friend!

Blair's feet dragged as he made his way into the kitchen to make some Chamomile tea. Hopefully it would help him relax enough to go back to sleep. As he watched the water come to the boil he sighed deeply. When had his life become this complicated?

Two years ago when you sneaked into that hospital room to slip Jim your card. So many things had happened since then; Kincaid had taken him hostage, Lash had kidnapped him, he'd been threatened, drugged and injured, but seeing a life Sentinel in action was worth all that.

Blair carried his hot tea into his room and flipped open his laptop. He'd better get some work done now that he couldn't sleep. Maybe add a small chapter on Incacha to his note book, but first he was going to work on his dissertation on closed societies. He couldn't explain why he'd never told Jim that he decided not to publish the Sentinel diss. Yes, he was still working on it, but it would never be published. Jim would receive the completed version and it would probably end up in a sock drawer, forgotten in time.

He'd had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that expect for Jim no one would ever read his research on Sentinels, but it was for the best. Publishing meant endangering Jim's identity and he couldn't take that risk. Someone would recall that Blair had spent an awful lot of time with Jim Ellison and then they would realize why; that he'd been riding along to see a Sentinel in action.

After slipping his glasses in place, Blair stared at the screen and began typing.

*

Frustrated, because he wasn't allowed to check on Incacha just yet, Jim paced the waiting area. When he'd called the loft, he'd hoped Blair would answer the phone. He needed to talk to the anthropologist, needed him here at his side, but didn't want to drag Blair down to the hospital too. It had been obvious that finding Incacha injured in the corridor and shaken the younger man and Blair needed some time to deal with that. Maybe knowing Incacha was going to make it would help his partner cope.

But Blair hadn't answered the phone, apparently blissfully asleep in his bed as the phone hadn't woken him up. Jim finally sat down on one of the plastic chairs and wondered why the waiting area seemed so sterile, so... empty. Was it in order to prepare the waiting person for the worst possible news?

Jim crossed his arms and stared at the floor. The doctor on call had operated on Incacha, closing the wound and assured him that the Chopec would eventually make a full recovery. All it would take was time and they had plenty of that.

Nervously, he shifted on the chair and rested his feet on the small coffee table. Stretching his tired muscles he tried to put everything that had happened lately in to the right perspective. They had exposed Cyclops Oil for what it was and Incacha had accomplished his task. Jim was fairly confident that the Chopec would want to leave for his village the moment he opened his eyes and give the staff hell if they forced to keep him here. He'd already decided that he would take Incacha home and make sure that his friend and former mentor would only make that trip home once he'd sufficiently recovered.

How do I feel about Incacha coming back in to my life again?Jim had felt relieved and happy to see his old friend again, but at the same time a terrible sense of apprehension had started to build; an apprehension that he couldn't explain. But it has to do with Blair and Incacha; that much he knew.

It felt like an itch, making him scratch his skin, moving along and never settling down in one place. Incacha had taught him how to get in touch with his inner self, but right now he felt disconnected. Something had happened when Incacha had grabbed Blair's hand, passing on the way of the shaman; something fundamental had changed.

Determined to follow this line of thought, Jim nodded his head, recalling the things that had been said. 'He wants you to guide me to my animal spirit,' had been Incacha's words and Jim frowned, trying to figure out Incacha's intentions, but the Chopec was hard to read. Whatever Incacha's intentions were, they involved Blair; that he knew for certain.

Blair, the name woke a deep longing inside him, which took him aback. Yes, the anthropologist had given him back his life when Blair had sneaked in to his hospital room years ago. His senses had been spiking constantly and Jim had even considered resigning from the police force, but then Sandburg had shown up, telling him about his field of expertise, literally saving his sanity. When Blair had shown him a picture of a tribal watchmen Jim's world had come back in to focus.

Jim had grown up believing he was some sort of freak for hearing things no one else heard, seeing things not even his dad could see. His dad... William had made him feel like a freak, like an outsider and Blair had changed all that. Suddenly the label of freak was gone and instead he was a Sentinel, a watchman with 5 heightened senses and he was beginning to think of his senses as a gift, not a curse. Blair had changed his life for the better.

But when he'd returned to the loft, he'd found Blair on the brink of panic. Incacha had been dying on their couch and Blair's nervousness had shown in his eyes, but the younger man had stayed focused despite his fears and had called the medics, never leaving Incacha's side. Blair pulled through every time someone needed him and Jim felt proud of having the younger man for his best friend.

A startled shriek shook him from his musings and Jim jumped to his feet. His Sentinel hearing picked up on Incacha's racing heartbeat and the rant in stammered Quechua. Incacha was telling the staff to leave him alone, but they didn't understand the Chopec's native tongue.

Jim ignored the orderly who tried to stop him as he rushed inside Incacha's room. While flashing his shield, he said, "Stop it, restraining him won't work! I'm Detective Ellison and I'm in charge of protecting this witness." The nurses were trying to restrain Incacha's wrists and ankles and Jim had to act quickly in order to stop further escalation. "He's scared and doesn't understand English. Let me talk to him. I can calm him down." Disgusted, he stared hard at the syringe filled with a sedative that one nurse wanted to inject in to Incacha's bloodstream. There was no way of telling how Incacha would react once he felt really threatened.

"Hold on," the doctor told the nurse and she put down the syringe. "Detective Ellison, try to talk some sense in to him."

"Thanks." Jim locked eyes with the Chopec shaman and spoke softly in Quechua. /"Incacha, you're safe. These people studied the art of healing and want to help you. They're good people."/

Incacha listened closely and Enqueri's words reassured him. Slowly, he calmed down and took in the faces of the people gathered around his bed. He couldn't find evil in their eyes, only the true desire to help. /"Enqueri, I need to leave this place. Too many restless souls are caught in this place."/

That explains his distress. Jim nodded his head. He'd long realized that Incacha wanted to leave, but the Chopec was hooked up to an IV and monitor. They couldn't walk out of here like that. Gesturing Incacha to be patient and to let him do the talking, Jim addressed the doctor again. "He wants to go home."

"That would be unwise," the doctor replied in a concerned tone. "We closed the wound, but he still needs rest and then there's the medication he needs to take regularly." He was reluctant to let his patient go.

"Would caring for him at home worsen his condition? I was a medic in the army and if you instruct me on how to administer those meds I can take care of most things that could come up." Jim placed his right hand on Incacha's arm when the Chopec tried leaving the bed. Incacha certainly looked out of place as he was still wearing his war paint and beaded braids. He could tell that Incacha desperately wanted out of that medical gown. Patience, my old friend, patience.

The doctor gave Jim a thoughtful look while considering the detective's question. "He's determined to leave?"

"Yes, Incacha doesn't believe in our ways. He'll heal quicker at home." Jim knew he'd won the argument when the doctor sighed and told the nurse to get Incacha's release forms.

"Make sure my patient stays off his feet," the doctor instructed Jim. "He needs rest. If that wound re-opens I expect you to take him back to this hospital."

"I'll watch him closely," Jim promised, pleased that the doctor had admitted defeat. Incacha didn't belong in a hospital and now that the wound had been closed, the Chopec Shaman had his own ways to speed up his recovery. Turning toward Incacha, Jim said, /"Incacha, I will take you to my home."/

Pleased, Incacha smiled and allowed the nurse to unhook him from the IV and monitor. Trying to respect these healers' ways, he remained calm and dignified. With Enqueri's help he got to his feet and he softly complained about the garment he was wearing. It felt alien against his skin and he wanted to slip out of it, but Enqueri stopped him.

/"Incacha, in my world people cover their naked bodies."/ Jim hoped Incacha would understand and play along.

Incacha's expression betrayed his surprise. White men's ways were too hard to understand and he no longer tried.

/"We can leave now,"/ Jim told Incacha after signing his friend's release papers as the Chopec couldn't sign them himself.

Incacha was already on his way to the doorway when he suddenly swayed on his feet. The injury was taking its toll on his weakened body.

Jim moved quickly and supported his friend. /"Wait, it's cold outside."/ Jim draped his leather coat over Incacha's shoulders, trying to protect his friend from the cold, but also from curious eyes. A nearly naked Chopec would draw a lot of attention.

Incacha understood that Jim knew best how to adapt to the white men's ways and allowed it. Once outside, he took a deep breath, hating the fumes and chemical substances that tainted the once pure air. It was beyond him why people chose to live in such a contaminated place. He felt relieved to be out in the open again, but Jim was already coaxing him in getting in to the truck. Reluctantly, he gave in and sat down on the passenger's seat. The metal monster felt hostile and bereft of any soul. Incacha decided to address his friend and Sentinel. /"Are we returning to the wolf's lair?"/

/"Wolf's lair?"/ Confused, Jim looked at Incacha.

/"The young shaman,"/ Incacha clarified, realizing that Enqueri hadn't met the younger man's animal spirit yet and he frowned. They were supposed to be one already. What was keeping them apart? They never had a teacher... they don't know the old ways.

/"His name is Blair,"/ Jim told his friend. /"Why call him a wolf?"/ But he already saw in Incacha's eyes that he wouldn't get a straight answer.

/"The wolf will show himself when he's ready. It's not my place to tell you,"/ Incacha said smugly and then closed his eyes. He was hurting and it was time to allow the spirits to heal his body.

*

The insistent ringing of the telephone woke Blair at six a.m. His eyes refused to open and acting on instinct, he stumbled in to the living room to answer the phone. "Sorry," he whispered as he bumped in to a chair, not realizing it was only an innate object.

Yawning, Blair reached for the phone, already knowing who was calling at this early hour. Can only be Jim, he realized, slowly regaining his senses. He curled his fingers around the phone, brought it to his ear and whispered sleepily, "Blair Sandburg..." Why was it still dark in here? Hadn't he switched on the lights? Or were his eyelids responsible for the darkness, as they remained stubbornly closed? Man, I'm too tired to be up on my feet and running around. Where's my bed?

"Chief, Incacha and I are on our way back to the loft and he needs a place to sleep. Maybe you can put some pillows and blankets on to the couch?" Jim wasn't sure Incacha would agree to lie down in a bed; maybe the couch would be acceptable. But then again, perhaps Incacha would insist on sleeping on the floor or outside on the balcony. He just didn't know for sure.

"Jim?" Blair fought hard to dismiss the last remnants of sleep and to clear his mind. What did Jim say? "You're taking Incacha back to the loft?" Blair cringed slightly, realizing how much he'd come to think of the loft as home. But would it remain his home now that Incacha was staying at the loft as well? What if Incacha's presence rendered him abundant and useless? Would Jim finally tell him that his 'week' was up? Jim only needed one guide, one shaman and now he had two. Two guides that is. I don't consider myself a shaman so that would mean Incacha has better qualifications to stay at the loft. He's Jim's original guide, after all. Maybe I should offer to move out before Jim asks me to?

"Chief? Are you still with me?" Jim grew worried. It wasn't like Blair to go all quiet on him. He quickly glanced at Incacha and found the Chopec still soundly asleep.

"Yeah, Jim, I'm still here. Just a little sleepy and trying to wake up," he apologized. "Don't worry about the pillows and blankets. Incacha can have my room. I'll sleep on the couch," he offered. A couch still stained with Incacha's blood... The thought made him shiver, but he knew that Incacha's injury would cause the Chopec discomfort when sleeping on the too small couch. Incacha should rest in a warm and comfortable bed.

Jim shook his head at hearing Blair's offer, which didn't feel right. "If he wants a bed, he can have mine. You don't have to give up yours, Chief."

Blair nodded his head, completely forgetting that Jim couldn't see him. They would settle this later, after Incacha had let them know if he wanted to sleep on the couch or in a bed. "How's he doing and why is he already out of the hospital? He was dying when I found him!"

As Jim looked at Incacha again, he found that the smug grin had returned to the Chopec's face. "He's a fast healer, Chief."

Sleepily, Blair walked over to the cupboard, pulling out spare blankets and a pillow. "I'll fix the couch."

"We'll arrive in ten." Jim ended the conversation and put away his cell phone. The wolf's lair, Incacha's words made shivers run down his spine. They'd woken some instinctual need inside him, but Jim didn't know what to do about that. Maybe Blair had the answers to his questions.

*

/"Incacha, you've got to wake up now. We're back at the loft."// Jim waited for the shaman to open his eyes and only then he helped Incacha getting out of the truck and to his feet.

Incacha raised his head and looked up at the windows, catching Blair's reflection in the glass. The young man had been waiting for them. Blair quickly stepped away, breaking the brief eye contact and Incacha smiled saddened. He'd seen the pain and fear in the blue eyes. This young one was strong and possessed powers Incacha had never mastered in his long life, yet Blair didn't even know how powerful he really was. Maybe that's why I'm still alive. Maybe I'm here to teach the young one our old ways... It was a comforting thought, giving him a new purpose.

While Enqueri guided him in to the elevator Incacha's thoughts stayed with the young man. Among the Chopec there was no one worthy or talented enough to take his place after his death, but this young man showed a lot of promise. It was up to him to teach the new shaman, to form a leader who could lead the tribe in their hour of need. Incacha had fond memories of his own mentor and he hoped Blair would accept him as his teacher.

*

Blair stepped aside to let Jim and Incacha enter. He tried hard to hide his insecurity, but knew Incacha couldn't be fooled; one look at the shaman told him so. Jim however, didn't seem to notice his discomfort as the Sentinel remained solely focused on the Chopec. Blair accepted the leather coat Jim handed him and put it on to one of the pegs near the doorway.

/"You should sit down, Incacha,"/ Jim said in Quechua and led his friend toward the couch. "Thanks, Chief," Jim added, seeing the pillows and blankets.

Blair remained quiet, realizing that Jim was concentrating on settling Incacha down on the couch. Incacha allowed it and Blair flinched as those piercing dark eyes locked on him. Quickly, Blair averted his eyes and walked in to the kitchen to prepare some tea.

/"Does he fear me?"/ Incacha asked Enqueri. /"He avoids my eyes and flees the room."/

Jim looked over at Blair and caught his partner's elevated heartbeat, which told him that Blair was still nervous. /"Blair doesn't know you very well,"/ Jim explained, realizing the younger man might feel left out.

Blair heard the soft conversation and although he knew the meaning of a few words, most of the conversation eluded him. Busying himself with fixing tea, he tried not to feel envious. Jim was his Sentinel and now his partner had deserted him in favor of Incacha. This is your wake up call. It's time to move out!

Incacha felt Blair's unease, instinctively recognizing the tension and competition between them. He was the invader, endangering the important connection Sentinel and guide shared. /"I wish to speak to the young shaman,"/ he told Jim and dismissed the disapproval in the Sentinel's eyes. /"I'll rest later."/

Jim gave in, knowing better than to fight his former mentor. "Chief?" he called out. "Incacha wants to talk to you."

Feeling weary, Blair made his way over to the couch, carrying a tray holding three mugs of tea. After setting it down on the coffee table, he offered Incacha one, but the Chopec respectfully declined. His insides twisted at the refusal and Blair wondered what he'd done to offend Incacha. A Chopec would never refuse food from his host because the host could consider it an insult. What did I do to anger him?

Jim stayed close to translate, uncertain why Incacha insisted on talking to Blair.

/"Young one, do not fear me."/

Jim translated Incacha's words and shrugged his shoulders at Blair's questioning look. "I don't know what he's up to."

Blair accepted Jim's explanation and sat down cross-legged, still avoiding Incacha's eyes. Will he ask me to leave? Which guide will be allowed to stay? Will Jim make that decision or Incacha?

/"I will teach you the way of the shaman,"/ Incacha said and waited for Enqueri to translate his words. He closely observed Blair, seeing the tiny tremors that rocked the young man's body. If they didn't achieve an understanding, Incacha would leave the loft. This was Blair's territory and he respected that.

"He wants to teach you the way of the shaman." Jim shot Incacha a puzzled look, but then stared at Blair. "He was serious, you know. When he thought he was dying he named you his successor."

"But I don't know how to be a shaman, Jim!" Blair didn't like the turn this conversation was taking. Incacha is a guide and so am I. Only one of us can stay!

/"I will be your teacher, young one,"/ Incacha started. /"You need to know about the old ways, about your position, your duties to the tribe and to your Sentinel. Let me teach you."/

Jim softly translated the words and kept a close eye on Blair. "It sounds like he wants your permission to... stay, to teach you." This development surprised him. Why would Incacha need Blair's permission to stay at the loft? Blair would never kick the Chopec out. Studying both men closer, he saw the fine tension lines near their eyes. What the hell is going on here and why don't I have a clue what it is?

Incacha grabbed Blair's wrist like he'd done hours ago. /"Let me teach you. Let me stay. You need guidance, young one."/

Blair heard Jim translate the plea, but it didn't make any sense. Why did Incacha want his explicit permission to stay? "Of course you can stay," Blair said eventually and waited for Jim to translate the words. "You're always welcome here." This was Jim's home and he didn't have the authority to make a decision like that, but he knew that his partner wanted Incacha to stay so the words came out easy.

But Incacha wasn't satisfied yet. /"Will you let me teach you the old ways?"/

"Chief, Incacha needs rest," Jim said after translating his old friend's request. "Why don't you tell him yes? That way he can get some sleep and the two of you can settle this in the morning." Jim felt confused. He'd never heard Incacha plead with anyone. Usually the Chopec expressed his wishes and they were carried out and never questioned, but now he seemed to seek Blair's approval and permission, which struck Jim as odd.Maybe the meds they gave him at the hospital are affecting his rational thinking. He'll be himself again after the meds worked their way through his system.

But Blair remained weary, knowing that once he accepted the offer Incacha would insist on teaching him the Chopec's ways and Blair wasn't sure which path to take. He was tempted to say no, wait for Incacha to return to Peru and just carry on with his old life. But something had happened when Incacha had grabbed his arm that first time and had named him his successor. Could he deny the old shaman?

"You're strong," Jim said, translating Incacha's words while the older man spoke. "You carry the mark of the shaman. You need to know the old ways if you want to continue to guide your Sentinel." Jim shrugged his shoulders again. "Chief, his heart is racing. We need to end this."

"It's not that easy, Jim!" Blair exclaimed. Do you have any idea what Incacha's asking me to do? To commit to him, to be his student, to be a shaman! I'm scared, Jim. What if Incacha's wrong and I'll prove to be a complete failure? I can't say, sure let's do it, Incacha! My heart has to be in it!

Jim smelled the growing fear on Blair and had no idea why his partner was working himself in to a frenzy. "Chief, they gave him meds. He's probably hallucinating and won't know he asked you in the morning."

Geez, Jim, that helps! Blair didn't know what upset him more; Incacha offering to teach him, or Jim assuming that Incacha was only asking him because of some meds he'd been given. But Incacha was still waiting for an answer and Blair felt trapped. His need for knowledge outweighed his fears and he whispered, "You can teach me."

Jim quickly conveyed the message to Incacha who smiled at Blair. Jim felt like he'd missed something very important in this exchange, but couldn't pinpoint the source of his unease. Luckily, the tension between Incacha and Blair seemed to fade and Jim realized they'd achieved some truce. But why would they consider each other enemies?

/"I can rest now..."/ Incacha mumbled pleased and closed his eyes. Normally he would prefer the hard floor or sleeping outside on the balcony, but his injury and the fumes outside urged him to stay indoors. The sun was slowly rising and Incacha greeted the spirits as they rose with the sun, driving away the dark, evil, ghosts that had been reaching for him.

"He's asleep," Jim whispered as he got back to his feet. Tenderly, he covered Incacha's body with the blankets. Assured that his old friend was comfortable, he turned towards Blair. Although the anthropologist looked tired, Jim's mind was set. He needed to know what that tension had been about. "We need to talk, Chief." Jim carried two untouched mugs filled with lukewarm tea over to the kitchen table and sat down, waiting for Blair to join him.

"Want me to pop them in to the microwave?" Blair offered. Jim nodded his head and Blair nuked the tea, making sure it was hot again before placing it on the table. Sitting quietly, he waited for Jim to start this conversation.

"What was that all about, Chief? I've never seen Incacha plead with anyone."

Blair stared in to the steaming tea and warmed his icy fingers on it. "Don't know. You'll have to ask Incacha." Blair wasn't going to enlighten Jim.

"Is there some power struggle going on?" Jim ventured unexpectedly. "I feel caught in the middle here."

Okay, I better explain things to him before he draws the wrong conclusions. "Jim, Incacha's a guide... I'm a guide and there's only one Sentinel. Geez, what do you think is going on? Only one of us can be your guide. You can't have two. One of us has to leave eventually."

"And you think that will be you?" Jim's tone revealed stunned surprise. "You think I'll make you leave?"

"No, Incacha will," Blair sighed. "Jim, for once this isn't about you. It's about me." Jim's confused expression told Blair that the Sentinel still didn't understand. "Incacha was your first guide, Jim. No matter what he said when he was dying, I'm no shaman, but he is. He would do a much better job guiding you."

Jim finally realized where this was heading. "You're wrong, Blair."

Blair shivered; Jim didn't usually call him by his first name. "Jim, it's okay. I understand."

"Incacha will leave once he's healed. The Chopec need him at their village and I need you here." Jim rose from his seat and paced the kitchen area. "Incacha never guided me the way you do. He doesn't know a thing about piggy backing my senses. He can't pull me from a zone out."

Blair had grown quiet, wondering how to counter Jim's arguments, but came up empty. "But he's your shaman."

Jim shook his head, finally recognizing the self doubt in Blair's eyes. "I don't need a shaman, Chief. I need you."

Blair lifted his eyes to meet Jim's. "Do you really think it was the meds talking just now?"

Jim sat down again and sipped his tea. "Honestly? I don't know. Maybe."

"Why would he want to teach me 'the old ways'? This kind of knowledge is never revealed to an outsider." Blair recalled various attempts he had made to make shamans and medicine men open up to him during his expeditions and they had never given in.

"Maybe he doesn't think of you as an 'outsider'." Incacha referred to Blair as 'the wolf'. Now, where does that fit in? Was he talking about some kind of animal spirit? I've seen mine, the panther, a few times, but I've never seen another animal spirit. Was Incacha trying to tell me that Blair has one as well and that it is a wolf?

Something Incacha had said returned to Jim. "He wants you to guide me to my animal spirit.' Incacha had said those words while he'd thought he was dying. But I already know my animal spirit. Why would I need Blair to guide me to it? Especially since Blair doesn't know he has one himself!

"Jim? Are you still with me? Don't zone out on me!"

"I'm not zoning, Chief, merely thinking." Jim looked Blair in the eyes and found that remnants of fear and uncertainty still lingered there. "I've got to call in and tell Simon that I'm taking the day off. Why don't you go back to bed to get some more sleep? I'll keep an eye on Incacha."

Blair emptied his mug, got to his feet and placed the mug in the sink. "You sure? We could take turns watching over him."

"My senses will pick up on any changes," Jim explained. "Go back to sleep, Chief." Jim watched his friend leave and close the French doors behind him. Damn! I never realized Blair felt like that! It had never crossed his mind that there was some sort of power struggle going on, but now as he thought about it, it made sense. Two guides and only one Sentinel... But I won't allow Blair to leave. I need him. Incacha is a good friend and he taught me a lot, but only Blair can help me control my senses. If someone has to leave it is Incacha. Now I've got to find a way to convince Blair that I want him to stay!

*

Simon wasn't pleased when Jim told him that he was taking some time off, but the captain reluctantly gave in after Jim explained his current situation. "Just keep me informed, Jim!"

"I will, Simon," Jim promised. He terminated the connection and walked over to Incacha, who was still peacefully asleep. Watching the Chopec, he pondered the difference between the two guides. Incacha had lived a long life and gathered wisdom through the years. Every decision he took was based on his experiences. Blair on the other hand reacted instinctively, never stopping to wonder why he was doing things in a certain way. No one had told Blair that a Sentinel could piggy back his senses. Blair's my true guide.

Driven by an urgent need to know Blair close, Jim walked over to the French doors, which were ajar, and peeked inside. Blair was asleep, but suffering from a nightmare as the young man continued to toss and turn. Jim sneaked inside and rested his hand on Blair's brow. "It's okay, Chief. The nightmares can't hurt you." Who's haunting your dreams this time? Kincaid? Lash? He startled when Blair's lips formed a name, Incacha.

"Enqueri..."

Incacha's voice reached his ears and looking over his shoulder, Jim found that the Chopec was awake again. Gently, he caressed Blair's brow, whispered soothing words, which drove away the nightmare and tucked the blankets around the younger man's form. Only then he turned around, closed the French doors and joined Incacha. Jim pulled up a chair and sat down beside the shaman. /"You owe me an explanation, old friend."/

Incacha struggled in to a sitting position and cast a quick glance at the French doors. /"Is he asleep?"/

/"Yes, but he had a nightmare."/ Jim didn't really know why he was confiding in Incacha, maybe it was an ingrained instinct to do so stemming from the time he'd spent with the tribe.

/"Why haven't the two of you bonded yet?"/ Incacha tried to repress the frustration he felt. /"He feels threatened because you haven't committed to him. What's keeping you back, Enqueri?"/

What the hell are you talking about? Bonding? Committing myself to Blair? Why would I do that?

/"You made your choice when you accepted him as your guide,"/ Incacha pointed out to him.

Jim had the eerie feeling that the Chopec shaman had just read his mind. /"I don't understand, Incacha."/

/"A Sentinel needs his guide... his beloved."/ Incacha watched Jim's face very closely, curious to find what impact his words had.

/"My beloved?"/ Jim almost choked on the words. Does he expect us to be lovers? Is that it?

/"The young one hasn't staked his claim yet?"/ Incacha began to realize Jim and Blair's problems. They know nothing of the old ways!

/"His claim?"/ Jim rolled his eyes. I can't believe I'm having this conversation!

/"Be honest, Enqueri, do you love the young shaman?"/ Incacha regretted not coming to the great city earlier, but he'd believed that Enqueri knew what to do when the wolf appeared. Apparently, he'd put too much faith in Enqueri.

/"Love him?"/ Jim remembered just in time to keep his voice down. He didn't want to wake Blair. One swift check told him that Blair was still asleep, free of nightmares this time. /"I love him like my brother, like I'd love a good friend, like I love you."/ Jim was babbling and he knew it, but he'd never expected that question.

/"That's not enough,"/ Incacha chided his friend. /"You're destined to be his lover."/

Has to be the medication talking...

/"Enqueri, the Sentinel chooses the guide, but the guide only accepts his calling when he's in love with his Sentinel. Didn't I tell you this before you left?"/

/"Some things are fuzzy,"/ Jim admitted. /"I don't remember everything about my stay with your people, Incacha./"

Incacha probed Jim's eyes and found them sincere. /"Listen, Enqueri. Your guide loves you."/

/"Like a brother maybe, but... Blair doesn't like men and why are we discussing this? I don't like men in that way either!"/

/"You won't have a choice in this matter."/ Incacha's eyes suddenly darkened and gained a distant expression, like his mind had left the present and was traveling in to the future. /"If you refuse him, he will die and although your animal spirit will bring him back, there'll be no connection, no bond between you and his true self will be lost in the spirit world forever. Only his shell will return to you."/

Jim had seen Incacha go in to a trance before and it always made him nervous, but hearing this prophecy made the hair at the back of his neck stand rigid. Is he trying to scare me? If he is, it's working, damn it!

Incacha's eyes regained their former inner peace and he looked thoughtfully at Enqueri. /"Pray to the spirits that the young wolf will stake his claim. Wolves mate for life, always remember that!"/

Jim felt apprehensive at Incacha's words. Since Blair had started working with him, the anthropologist had come close to dying a few times, but he'd always been in time to save Blair's life.

The look in Jim's eyes told Incacha that his words had impacted hard. Good, he needs to be prepared. Now I've got to talk to the young shaman once he wakes up. Maybe I can open his eyes and make him see what he's been denying these last years.

*

Blair stretched lazily, letting a huge yawn escape and rolled on to his stomach, clutching his pillow tightly. Although his night had started off with nightmares, the latter part had been filled with erotic dreams featuring Jim. It had been a welcome change from the angsty dreams featuring Incacha.

It wasn't the first time that Blair had had erotic dreams about Jim Ellison. He'd instantly fallen in love with the big lug when the Sentinel had slammed him in to the wall at his office. Back then he'd seen through the pretence, through Jim's mask and had recognized the fear hiding behind it.

He doubted he would have taken on guiding Jim if he hadn't fallen in love with the Sentinel. Feeling so deeply for another man had shattered his world. Yes, he'd had crushes on his male friends before, but never had he felt this passionately about another person. Deep down in his heart he knew that Jim was the only one for him, his Holy Grail, but he'd also accepted that nothing was going to happen between them. Jim was as straight as they came and only dated women.

So Blair restricted himself to only dating women as well. He didn't want Jim to grow suspicious or kick him out so Blair kept his crush a secret and dated women to keep up his cover. But he was always honest with them, telling that he wasn't looking for a long term relationship because his heart belonged to someone else. He always let them make the call after telling them the truth. It was no surprise his love life was disastrous. The only one he really loved couldn't love him back.

I must be a masochist at heart to stick around. I should tell Jim... but then he'll kick me out and I like living here, like being close to him. But he knew that the day would come when his secret would be revealed and then Jim would be really pissed at him.

Grinding his pelvis in to the mattress he indulged himself in a sensual moment, fantasizing that Jim was coming out of the bathroom, butt naked and ready for him, sporting a healthy erection. "Oh," escaped him, as he closed his eyes, trying to imagine what it would feel like when Jim's body covered his. Yeah, like I'll ever find out! Wishful thinking!

Sighing, Blair pulled himself together again and got his feet on to the floor. Uh, cold! He quickly reached for his woollen socks and put them on. Softly, trying not to wake Incacha and Jim, he opened the French doors and wanted to boil some water for his tea.

"Blair..."

Incacha's voice startled him and he quickly turned around to face the older Chopec. It had never occurred to him that Incacha knew his name. "Morning," he said awkwardly. His eyes shifted from the Chopec to the kitchen and back again. He only knew a few words Quechua, hardly enough to carry on a conversation.

Incacha gestured Blair to join him. Pleased, he watched the young man as Blair hesitantly approached him. Carefully, he lowered himself on to the floor and ignored Blair's protests. Although he didn't understand the language he knew Blair wanted him to stay on the couch. Pulling the blanket closer, he quickly checked his wound. The herbs that he had placed on the injury last night had done their job and he opened another pouch, taking out the potion he needed.

"What do you want?" Blair raised a puzzled eyebrow, but obeyed Incacha when the Chopec gestured him to sit down opposite him. Cross-legged, Blair wondered what Incacha wanted from him. "Want me to wake Jim? Wake Enqueri?"

But Incacha shook his head. Opening his right hand, he revealed a little vial to Blair. He opened it and sipped some of the green liquid that was inside. Then, he handed it to Blair, encouraging him to sip as well.

"Look, man, I don't want to offend you, but this might be poison for all I know." He didn't think Incacha would want to poison him, but the Chopec had probably become immune for the potion and Blair didn't know how it would affect him. But Incacha was insisted and brought the vial to Blair's lips. Encouragingly, he nodded his head, urging Blair to sip.

Blair knew when he was fighting a lost battle and swallowed the bitter liquid. "Are you happy now? I need to get breakfast ready," he said and tried getting back to his feet. Wow, what's happening? Feeling dizzy and light-headed, he tried to focus his eyes on Incacha, but suddenly there appeared to be four of them. This isn't good. Whatever was in that vial is...

Incacha smiled. The visions would soon take hold of the young shaman and would hopefully make him understand. Carefully, he caught Blair as the young man collapsed and Incacha pushed a pillow beneath Blair's head, trying to make him more comfortable. Going on this journey alone would exhaust Blair and leave him weak. Chanting softly, he watched over his pupil.

What? Where? I'm running, but... Why do I have four legs and why am I running through a jungle? Confused, Blair tried to make sense of what was happening to him. There was a lake to his right and he changed direction as he needed to see his reflection. While he was running he realized again that he was running on four legs, not two. He came to an abrupt stop when he reached the water and looked down.

Horrified, a howl escaped his throat and his yellow eyes narrowed dangerously. A wolf was staring back at him! I'm not a wolf! I'm human! My name is Blair Sandburg and... To his left another growl sounded and he quickly turned to face the stranger. I'm not a wolf! Man, this can't be happening! I must be dreaming! He backed away as a puma revealed itself, leaving the cover of the trees. The animal's eyes sparkled with mischief.

Blair decided not to take any chances and to make a run for it. But he still had to learn how to move properly while in the wolf's body and the puma was quicker, grabbing him by the throat and forcing him down onto his front legs. A pitiful wail escaped Blair. Things couldn't end like this! It was only a dream! But then the puma began to drag him into the jungle and Blair stopped fighting the other animal, moving on its own accord.

The puma sensed the change in the wolf and loosened his grip slightly, but the teeth remained buried in the wolf's throat.

I get the picture! You want me to follow you! Feeling relieved, Blair began to run as well and soon the puma released him completely, but it made sure that he followed suit. Where are we going? Not receiving an answer, Blair gave up and ran alongside the puma. Suddenly, he realized that he liked running like this and he sped up. The puma followed, never letting him out of sight. This feels great!

He slowed down when he reached a temple. Why do I feel like I've been here before? Like I should know this temple? He caught the image of a spotted jaguar running away from the temple and briefly he was tempted to follow it, but the puma stopped him by blocking his path. Okay, you want me to go inside the temple? Is that it?

Blair climbed the stairs. It definitely feels different... walking on all fours. He'd been so wrapped up in the alien sensation that he hadn't noticed the two forms appearing on top of the stairs.

"Stop!"

Whoa! You don't have to scream! My hearing is perfect, thank you! Blair looked at the two figures and shivers racked the wolf's body. He recognized Incacha at once, but the man standing beside the shaman couldn't be here. Jim?

"No, I'm not Jim," the man said softly, obviously amused. "I'm his spirit guide."

Wow, this is cool! Can you read my mind?

"You can't speak while you're one with your animal spirit, but yes, we can communicate." Jim's spirit guide lowered himself onto his heels to rub behind the wolf's ears.

Ah, that feels great. Enjoying the caress, Blair lay down on the spirit guide's feet. Can anyone tell me what I'm doing here and where's here anyway?

"This is the spirit plane, young one," Incacha said amused.

I can understand you? I didn't know I spoke Quechua that well!

"The language barrier no longer exists," Incacha said thoughtfully. "You've come home, young one."

Home? Home is where...

"Where Enqueri is?" Incacha finished for him. Kneeling in front of the wolf, he clutched the animal's head between his hands. "You love him."

Blair startled at the convinced tone. Yeah, I love him. He's my best friend, my...

"You are in love with him, child," Incacha insisted. "Why deny it?" To make up for his rough tone, he gently stroked the wolf's head. "You must claim him, complete the bond."

Claim him? Why doesn't that make sense? Had everyone lost his mind except for him? Jim was straight and not interested in having a male lover. Blair couldn't really blame Incacha for now knowing that. I'm only his guide, Incacha, not his lover.

Jim's spirit guide laughed warmly and it irritated Blair. Growling, he looked up at the man.What's so funny?

"This young shaman really doesn't know the old ways," Jim's spirit guide said.

"That's why we are here... to teach him!" Incacha reminded the spirit guide and roughly grabbed the wolf's head, forcing Blair to meet his eyes. "You're not supposed to be the passive one in this relationship. You're waiting for Enqueri to take the initiative, but he won't. You're the guide, the leader!"

The leader? Come on! I'm Jim's sidekick! I do what he tells me to! Blair wondered about the content of Incacha's vial. Had they both lost their sanity?

"That's what you're doing wrong! You're a shaman, Enqueri's a Sentinel. He will follow you wherever you lead him. I thought Enqueri understood this, but I made a mistake." Incacha's eyes darkened. "You must claim your Sentinel before someone else does! Imprint your spirit on his, mark his body. Make no mistake; if you don't do it, the spotted jaguar will!"

Spotted jaguar?

"I shouldn't have revealed that to you," Incacha said, but the urgent tone in his voice remained.

Blair had been confused when he'd woken up on the spirit plane, now he felt like he'd completely lost his mind. Are you saying me that I should tell Jim that I love him? Even if I do, what will I accomplish? He'll kick me out!

"He'll kick you out if you don't tell him and you'll die because of it." Incacha released the wolf's head. The drug was losing its effect and Blair would regain consciousness in a few minutes. "You must stake your claim and let Enqueri now that he's already taken. The Sentinel will mark you in return and you'll reside in his heart, where you belong. Enqueri's heart is empty now and she will use that to her advantage if you don't take Enqueri as your lover."

Man, I don't understand any of this! Frustrated, Blair looked up at Jim's spirit guide and took a few steps back, seeing tears in the man's eyes. Why are you crying?

"Because you lack the courage to claim me as your lover. Now I'll cause your death and everything will be lost."

Blair's eyes watered at hearing those words. Walking up to the spirit guide, he rested his head in the man's large, but gentle, hands. I really love you, I always did, Blair admitted. But how can I tell you, knowing that you can't love me back?

"Ask him..." the spirit guide replied. "Ask Enqueri whether he loves you. Give us a chance..."

I'm sorry, Blair offered and his legs gave out beneath him. The jungle faded around him and the living room grew solid again. Blinking his eyes, he found Jim staring back at him.

/"Incacha! What did you give him?"/ Scared for Blair's well-being, Jim pulled his partner in to his arms. His senses checked Blair out and Jim only found a racing pulse. Blair seemed okay.

"Hey, Jim, what happened? Last thing I remember is... wow, what is that stuff in Incacha's vial? Knocked me out!" Blair struggled to get to his feet, but Jim pushed him down.

"Don't move... Just stay still for a moment longer." When he'd found Blair, the young man had been trembling all over his body. Angrily, he glared at Incacha. Damn, the smug grin is back! /"You could have killed Blair!"/

/"The wolf needed a vision,"/ was Incacha's cryptic answer.

Incacha's words infuriated Jim. /"Stay here. I'll make sure Blair rests and then we will talk!"/

"Jim? Translate that please? Remember, I don't speak Quechua." He still felt dizzy, but aside from that he felt... great.Geez, normally I only feel like this after I had a mind shattering orgasm! He almost felt giddy as waves of ecstasy coursed through his body. Or maybe it's an adrenalin high!

"I'm going to take you back to your bed, Chief. I want you to lie down and rest."

"Sure, Jim, whatever you want." Blair giggled and grabbed hold of Jim's waist as the older man lifted him to his feet. "I can walk, man..."

Jim kept one arm folded around Blair's waist and guided the anthropologist back to his room. "Now lie down and don't cause any trouble." Gently, Jim pushed Blair down on to the bed and then lifted his feet. After covering him with some blankets, he sat down on the side of the bed and wondered about Blair's lust filled eyes. "Wanna tell me what's going on, Darwin?" The draped look in Blair's eyes caused goose flesh to appear all over his body.

"I was a wolf, Jim," Blair whispered, needing to tell Jim what he'd seen. "I was running through the jungle and a puma appeared, dragging me along to this temple where Incacha and your spirit guide were waiting for me. It was beautiful. They could read my mind and Incacha told me..."

"Told you what?" Jim's concern grew, sensing the slight fever that was spreading through Blair's body. Incacha! How could you do this to him!

"I didn't know how great it felt, running on four legs." Blair's eyes began to close. The experience had worn him out. "I liked being a wolf."

Jim managed to repress the uproar of emotions that were running through him. A wolf. Blair met his spirit guide, no, was his spirit guide. Why did Incacha force him on to the spirit plane?

"Can I go to sleep now, Jim? I'm so tired... must remember not to run that long when I'm a wolf..." Blair dozed off.

Jim tucked the blankets around Blair's form and after running one more sensory scan on Blair, he felt reassured that the younger would be all right after a few hours of sleep. Incacha? We need to talk! Rising from the bed, he mentally prepared himself for an unpleasant conversation.

*

Incacha recognized the angry glare in Jim's eyes and pushed himself to his feet. The spirits had strengthened his body and his soul and he felt up to this confrontation.

Jim closed the French doors behind him and then approached Incacha. /"You should be resting,"/ he said, trying to stay calm and in control. After all, Incacha was still recovering from his injuries.

/"We need to leave for my village."/

/"What?"/ Jim exclaimed. /"We?"/

/"Yes, Enqueri. The young shaman needs to be initiated in to the way of the shaman."/

/"Blair isn't going anywhere."/ Jim shook his head. /"I don't know why you induced the visions in him, but Blair isn't a shaman. He's a scholar!"/

Saddened, Incacha's eyes pierced Enqueri's. /"Deny him his birth right and he'll die."/

/"I repeat, Blair isn't going anywhere! He's staying here, with me, where he's safe!"/ Jim was putting his foot down. He didn't know Incacha's intentions, but he was going to protect Blair the best way he could.

/"You're killing him slowly, Enqueri. You need to consider that this is his choice, not yours."/

/"I won't listen to this, Incacha. Blair isn't a shaman and no matter how many potions you feed him, he will stay the same person. Did Blair even know what he was drinking?"/

/"No, he didn't,"/ Incacha admitted and he caught the feral expression in Enqueri's eyes. /"If he'd been properly trained in the way of the shaman, he would have known. Can't you see that his destiny awaits him?"/ But Incacha realized that he'd lost the battle. Enqueri's fear controled his decisions and the Sentinel wouldn't allow the wolf to leave his side. Then the spotted jaguar will win.

/"Where are you going?"/ Incacha had moved toward the doorway. Jim's instincts and intellect were at war with each other. One told him to listen to Incacha and obey; the other told him to protect Blair by keeping Incacha away from his partner.

/"My work here is done. The wolf knows what lies ahead of him and his decisions will determine the path you will take,"/ Incacha replied, knowing what tough road lay ahead of the two men. /"Should you ever come to your senses,"/ Incacha paused briefly to smile saddened, /"you'll know where to find me. His wounds will be deep, but I can heal them. Remember my words and bring him to me after you killed him."/

Thunderstruck, Jim didn't move as Incacha opened the door and slipped in to the corridor. I will never kill Blair! I'd rather take my own life than hurt him! Taken aback, he closed the front door and moved back to Blair's room. The anthropologist had slept through the conversation, never waking up. I hope I made the right decision, Chief... I really do.

*

Blair woke a few hours later. Oh man, what did I do to deserve this hangover? Can't even remember that I've been drinking! Slowly opening his eyes, he sighed relieved. Although he felt like having a hangover, there was no headache and no nausea. That's no hangover... it's more like post orgasmic ecstasy... Geez, what did I do last night?

"Feeling better, Chief?" Normally, Jim would have chuckled seeing Blair this rumpled, but knowing what had put the younger man in this position he remained calm and understanding. "I fixed you lunch, wanna join me in the kitchen?"

"Lunch? What time is it?" Confused, Blair looked at his alarm clock. Two p.m.? Where did the time go?

Realizing that his partner needed some time to compose himself, Jim said, "I'll be in the kitchen," and closed the French doors behind him.

At a loss, Blair made his way in to the kitchen and sank down on to one of the chairs. "Thanks, Jim," he said, reaching for a bagel and some hot tea. Suddenly, his inner alarms went crazy and he quickly searched the living room. "Where's Incacha?"

"He left." Jim managed to keep his tone neutral and sat down opposite his partner. "I'm sorry he lured you in to drinking that potion. If I'd known what he was up to I'd have stopped him."

"Jim," Blair said in a controled tone. "What did you do?"

"Incacha wanted to leave so I let him."

Blair could tell that Jim was lying, keeping things back from him. No! I need to talk to Incacha! He needs to explain what happened to me! I don't know what to do! No, that isn't true. I know what to do. I should tell Jim I love him, but...

"What's going on in that head of yours, Chief?" Jim suddenly felt like a cold hearted bastard for letting Incacha leave like that, but he'd been forced to make a choice and he'd chosen to protect Blair. Incacha didn't give me a choice...

"Is there a chance you can find Incacha? I really need to talk to him," Blair said pleadingly.

"I'm sorry, Chief, but I really messed up. I don't think he'll want to be found." Had he made a huge mistake? "Blair, what's going on?"

"I told you about the vision I had?" Blair waited until Jim nodded his head. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Yes?" Jim sensed how Blair's heartbeat sped up and blood rushed madly through the anthropologist's veins. Suddenly, Blair raised his right hand and placed it on top of Jim's and he jerked back, breaking the contact at once. Jim didn't feel like he deserved it, not after treating Incacha like crap.

I can't do it, Incacha. Blair's heart missed a beat when Jim's hand jerked away from his. Jim can't even stand a casual touch, how can I expect him to love me back?

"What do you want to tell me?" Jim probed Blair's eyes and found them empty, lifeless. Something very profound had happened and he'd missed it.

I can't tell him. I'm sorry, Incacha, but you were wrong. Jim doesn't love me in that way. Gathering his courage, Blair tried to finish his admission. "I'm glad that Incacha survived." I can't say the words. I can't say I love you, Jim. I can't...

"Yeah, so am I, Chief," Jim whispered, relieved. He didn't know why he'd been so tense, but Blair's admission had seemed important. That wasn't what you wanted to say, Chief.

Blair stared at his bagel, feeling cold and empty. Something inside him had died, but yet he managed to laugh when Jim launched a joke. His heart had been ripped apart and would never mend again.

*

A year later

"She lost her way," Blair whispered, failing to keep the fatigue out of his voice. He'd checked himself out of the hospital a few days ago and it had taken most of his energy to convince his doctor to let him go. They had reasoned and argued, but Blair had ignored his doctor's advice and when Megan had dropped by to check on him, he'd talked her in to accompanying him to Sierra Verde when it became appeared that she wouldn't allow him to go there alone. She'd arranged for the flight, hotel and transportation as he'd still felt too heavily drugged by the meds to take care of these things himself.

As Blair looked at Jim, he saw the entranced expression in the Sentinel's eyes. It probably had something to do with his experiences in the grotto. "Jim, man, are you okay?" Blair couldn't help feeling concerned for his friend's well-being. He would always feel the urge to protect his Sentinel. In spite of everything that had happened with Alex, he still loved Jim. His love outweighed the pain and anger Jim's decisions had caused. Blair was too tired to be angry with Jim.

Composing himself, Jim blinked his eyes and looked up at Blair who stood behind him. The sun seemed to hug Blair tightly, almost giving the younger man a golden aura, but the agonized expression in Blair's eyes remained and Jim couldn't break eye contact. That look had been constantly in Blair's eyes since Alex had killed the anthropologist. And I kissed her! Kissed her in front of him, kissed her twice! I'm an insensitive bastard! Angry with himself, Jim averted his eyes. Incacha tried to warn me, but I wouldn't listen! He knew with sudden certainty that Blair's death could have been avoided if he'd accepted Incacha's guidance a year ago.

Looking closer, Jim noticed the fine lines of pain etched on to Blair's brow. Suddenly, the realization hit him that his partner had died only a few days ago and now Blair was tagging along again, besting the rugged jungle. How was it possible that Blair was already on his feet after all he'd been through? Focusing his scent, Jim smelled the remnants of medication on Blair. Of course! They gave him meds! And I allowed him to tag along! I should have told Megan to drag his sorry ass back to Cascade the moment I found them!

"Jim, don't you dare zone out on me!" Blair placed a trembling hand on Jim's shoulder to anchor the Sentinel. He wasn't sure how much more energy he had left or how much more of Jim's BS he could put up with. He was tired and a boneless listlessness was slipping in to his bones, constantly growing stronger. All he wanted was to lie down and never open his eyes again.

"Why don't you sit down for a moment, Chief? You look tired." Jim got to his feet and gently pushed Blair down, forcing the younger man to sit down on the rock Jim had formerly occupied.

"I'm okay, Jim," Blair objected, but sat down nonetheless, as his knees were threatening to give out beneath him. Placing his backpack on his lap, he searched for the meds his doctor had prescribed. Normally he would never willingly take the chemical substances, but his body was telling him he needed to take them if he didn't want to collapse. His trembling hands reached for the backpack, fumbling, but failing to open it.

Jim walked over to Simon and Megan. He didn't feel completely comfortable now that Megan knew he was a Sentinel, but he wasn't exactly worried either. Right now, he had to take care of Blair and the young man's health, both physical and mental. It was his first priority. "Simon, why don't you and Megan head back for Cascade? I'm taking some personal time and so is Blair. We'll stay here a little longer. I want to make sure Blair rests before moving on."

Simon understood. One glance at Sandburg told him how exhausted the anthropologist really was. Yes, the kid definitely deserved some down time after drowning in that damn fountain! He nodded and then addressed Conner, who'd been strangely quiet. "Let's move, Conner," he instructed.

Megan wanted to protect, more than willing to look after Blair herself, but the expression in Jim's eyes told her that the detective understood he'd made a terrible mistake in not trusting Blair and would surely try to make things up to Sandy. "Lead on, sir." She knew Jim and Blair needed some privacy and their presence would only hold back the two men.

Jim watched them leave, relieved that they still trusted him to look after Blair. Now it's just the two of us, Chief. The way it's supposed to be!

As Jim returned to Blair's side, he found the younger man fumbling awkwardly with his backpack. A thin film of sweat had formed on Blair's brow and his partner appeared on the verge of collapse. It was time for Jim to take charge and to make sure that Blair returned to the hotel for some much needed rest. Jim sat on his heels in front of Blair and placed his hands on his partner's. The fumbling stopped at once.

Blair raised his eyes and they reluctantly met Jim's. "I need my meds," he stuttered embarrassed. Only weeks ago he'd have refused to take any medication but now he needed them to fight the congestion in his lungs and the fatigue that was consuming him.

Jim cringed. It wasn't like Blair to admit to needing meds. Determinedly, he took hold of Blair's backpack and opened it. The first thing he encountered was Burton's book, which he pushed aside to get to Blair's meds. "Want me to get you some water?"

"Would you get me some?" Blair sighed when Blair placed the two pills in the palm of his hand.

"I'll be right back." Jim headed for the medics that were taking care of Alex and managed to get hold of some bottled water. He tried hard not to look at Alex, who had been strapped to a gurney. She was completely catatonic and out of reach. He'd succumbed to his worst temptation when he'd kissed her. His failure to trust Blair had changed their lives tremendously.

"Here, Chief, try to empty it. You need the fluids." Jim handed Blair the bottled water and watched him swallow the meds. "I'm going to arrange for some transportation back, stay here."

Fatigued, Blair nodded his head. He didn't feel like going anywhere. I couldn't get to my feet if my life depended on it!

It only took Jim a few minutes to organize transportation back to the hotel and he returned to get Blair. "Time to get moving."

Blair pushed himself to his feet and swayed dangerously. Feeling Jim's supportive arm around his shoulders, his first reaction was to push the other man away, but then reconsidered, scared to take a fall.

Jim had felt Blair tense against him and he prayed fervently that his partner would give him one more chance to prove himself. After settling Blair on the passenger seat of the truck, Jim slipped behind the wheel. "Buckle up, Chief." He keyed the ignition and found that Blair was dozing off. Jaw set firmly, Jim headed for the hotel. He had a lot of thinking to do!

*

What? Where? Blair's eyes flashed open and he felt utterly disorientated.

"It's okay, Darwin. We're back at the hotel. You slept all the way back." Jim sat on the twin bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Blair admitted; hiding deeper beneath the blankets Jim had covered him with. He felt cold and a coughing fit made him roll over on to his left side, facing Jim.

The emptiness that filled Blair's once so sparkling eyes caused shivers to run down Jim's spine. I killed that sparkle! Why didn't I listen when Incacha tried to warn me? He'd never forgive himself for hurting Blair like this. "I'm sorry," Jim whispered, sincerely.

Blair's eyes closed and then opened again, exactly knowing what Jim was apologizing for. "You did what you thought was best."

Jim couldn't believe that Blair was excusing his behavior! "I should have trusted you! But..." And the admission was hard to make... "I felt attracted to her."

"She wanted you and you..." Blair's voice trailed off, recalling something unpleasant. "The spotted jaguar tried to stake her claim."

Jim startled. "What did you say?"

An incredible fatigue descended on to Blair. Incacha tried to tell me this would happen if I didn't confess my love to Jim. Alex is the spotted jaguar and I made things very easy for her to get to Jim. This is my fault... I'm to blame!

"Blair?" Concerned, Jim rested the palm of his hand against Blair's brow, hoping the fever had stopped climbing.

"It's my fault, man. He told me I lacked the courage to tell you the truth and he was right. He was crying, Jim."

Jim's concern increased. Blair's rambling didn't make any sense! "Shst, it's going to be aright, Chief," he said soothingly.

Enqueri, take him to me after you killed him. His wounds will be deep, but can be healed.

Incacha's words suddenly returned to Jim and he knew what he had to do next. "Blair, I want to stay with the Chopec for some time."

"I won't stop you, Jim," Blair whispered. His eyes were closing again.

"And you're coming with me," Jim said decisively. Blair's startled expression didn't elude him.

"Me? Jim, I'd rather go back to Cascade."

"No, not this time, buddy." Soothingly, Jim's right hand caressed a stray lock of Blair's hair. "Why don't you go back to sleep while I take care of our flight?" He was determined not to screw up again. This might be his last chance to put things right between them and this time he'd listen to Incacha and honor his former mentor's advice.

"If that's what you want... I'll follow you to Peru." Blair's eyes darkened, recalling some of the things Incacha had told him.

You're the Shaman, the leader. Where you go, Enqueri will follow.

"Blair?" Jim gently shook the younger man, disliking the distant expression in Blair's eyes.

"Sorry, man. The meds must be messing with my head." Blair was tired and losing the fight to stay awake.

"Get some sleep, buddy." Jim affectionately ruffled his partner's hair. I'll make things right again! I promise. Please trust me one more time. Jim watched Blair doze off and hoped that his dreams would be pleasant. I'll keep the nightmares away...

*

Blair woke hours later and as he opened his eyes, he felt thoroughly confused. At first he was unable to identify his surroundings, but then recalled that Jim had taken him back to the hotel.

"Hey, sleepy head, are you up to eating a sandwich?" Jim had been waiting for Blair to wake up and had settled down on a chair near the bed. For the last few minutes he'd been closely monitoring his sleeping partner. "Room service brought some sandwiches along with your favorite tea."

Blair raised a puzzled eyebrow.Why is he suddenly this concerned? Not so long ago he kicked me out of the loft. Why the change? Blair couldn't help feeling suspicious. Somewhere along the line he'd lost the ability to trust Jim unconditionally, but he'd never stopped loving him. Love wasn't rational, defied all logic and although his head told him to stop loving Jim, his heart wouldn't comply. Briefly, he hated himself for being this weak. It meant he was going to take even more of Jim's BS until the Sentinel kicked him out of his life.

"Blair?" The vacant look in Blair's eyes worried Jim. It almost felt like the wild essence that had been Blair had vaporized and only a shell had remained. He desperately wanted his Blair back. Jim knew what he had to do in order to salvage what was left of their former friendship. He had to find a way to stop the growing estrangement between them and had never felt this resolved in his entire life. "Here, sip slowly."

Blair allowed Jim to help him sit upright, although he didn't really need the assistance. Soaking up Jim's closeness and attention Blair tried to control the raging emotions inside him. Slowly, Jim placed a cup of warm tea in his hands and he sipped contentedly. "Thanks, Jim," he said, needing to break the silence.

Jim gathered his courage, finally plunging ahead in to the deep, ready to take that trip together with Blair. "Before I told you to leave the loft, I had a vision..." Pleased, Jim noticed the sudden interest in Blair's eyes. Good!

"You had a vision?" Privately, Blair cringed. Trust Jim to have visions a shaman should have! I'm a pathetic excuse for a shaman! I wonder why Incacha passed the way of the shaman on to me!

"I killed you in my vision," Jim admitted and noticed the tremors that shook Blair's hands. "I killed the wolf." Making this admission was hard.

"You killed my animal spirit?" Blair wasn't sure what he'd expected Jim to say, but this wasn't it.

"Yes..." Jim had no apology to offer, just cruel facts. "I don't know why I packed your things. All I remember is feeling claustrophobic and threatened. I know I should have trusted you, but Alex was pulling me towards her as well. I felt torn."

Blair flinched, recalling Incacha's warning to claim Jim before the spotted jaguar would try to stake its claim. Oh my God! It is my fault! I was a coward and because of that I lost Jim! Tears appeared in his eyes, but he forced them back.

"Blair, what's going on?" Jim took hold of Blair's hands after putting the cup down.

"It's my fault," Blair stuttered, avoiding Jim's eyes.

"No, Blair, it's not." Jim curled his fingers around Blair's and gently massaged them. "I want to go to Peru and stay with the Chopec because you need to heal, our friendship needs to heal. I'm ready to take that trip with you. I'm sorry I hesitated."

But I don't deserve another chance, Jim. I fucked up. I should have told you I loved you, no matter how you'd have reacted to that. Incacha was right. Blair grew aware of Jim's fingers, which were caressing his. "Jim?"

Jim nodded his head. "Take that trip with me. Don't leave me."

Blair swallowed hard. Does Jim know what he's asking? Does he know what he's signing up for? The only thing that can save our relationship is bonding... intimately.

Blair needed more convincing and Jim delivered it. "I don't want to lose you, Blair and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make this work." Blair's fingers flexed in his and Jim loosened his grip a little. "Stay."

How can I deny you, Jim? I love you. If only I had the courage to tell you. Blair sighed. "I'll stay."

Relieved, Jim smiled. "Good, I already booked our flight. We're leaving in eight hours. Are you up to that?"

Blair didn't trust his voice and merely nodded his head.

"Finish your tea and eat another sandwich," Jim advised and released Blair's hand. "I need to make some last calls before we can leave." He'd try to get hold of Simon to update him.

Blair watched Jim leave and he forced himself to eat another sandwich. He would always stand at Jim's side, backing him up, following his lead. I'd follow him to hell and back... which I did... There was only one thing that kept him going; the memory of their animal spirits melting when Jim had brought him back. It had been a divine experience, a revelation. He'd never before felt such completeness, such peace, but those wonderful feelings had disappeared when his heart had started beating again. A terrifying emptiness had taken over when he'd begun coughing up water. Jim returned and Blair emptied his cup of tea. "Can I get some more sleep before catching our plane?"

"Yeah, we've got a few more hours before we've got to leave the hotel." Jim looked disapprovingly at Blair's full plate. "Are you sure you don't want to try another one?"

"I'm sure, Jim." Blair lay back down and rolled on to his left side, facing away from Jim. Everything had been said between them and the icy silence made its return. Jim had made their decision and Blair allowed himself to fall asleep again, searching his memory for that powerful feeling that Jim's animal spirit had left behind and he clung to it for comfort.

Jim realized that Blair was increasing the emotional distance between them and it worried him. I can't even blame him for losing faith in me... Could he restore that faith? He had to try.

*

"Comfortable, Chief?" Jim hovered over Blair, as the younger man took his seat in the small plane that would take them to Peru.

"I'm fine, stop mothering me!" Jim's hovering was making him nervous. Luckily, it was a small plane and the other ten passengers weren't paying them any attention.

Jim bit down a remark, wanting to tell Blair that he was entitled to pamper his partner, but decided against it. Blair had plenty of reason to tell him off. So Jim settled down on to the seat next to Blair's and fastened his seatbelt.

Blair fumbled with the vial that contained his meds. He'd forgotten to take them earlier as Jim had let him sleep late. He would make up for it once they were airborne and the flight attendant offered them something to drink. Blair didn't feel up to filling the awkward silence that hung between them. Although he sensed Jim's unease he couldn't pull himself together enough to babble the entire time. Blankly, he stared out of the small window.

Jim felt at a loss. He'd seldom experienced a quiet Blair and didn't know how to react. So he sat back, monitored the other man's vital signs, making sure his partner's condition wasn't deteriorating.

Blair swallowed his meds and used his right arm to pillow his head, resting it against the window. He'd never realized just how tired he really was. His eyes closed as the meds kicked in. Sleeping soundly, he was oblivious to what happened around him.

"Miss, could we get some blankets?" Jim asked. "My partner's been ill."

"Of course, sir." A moment later, she returned with two warm blankets.

Jim nodded thankfully and used both blankets to cover Blair's body, tucking them around his partner's silent form. Acting on instinct, Jim claimed Blair's icy hand and held it tightly.

*

"Chief, you've got to wake up now." Jim released Blair's hand and brushed back some stray locks, which had tumbled in to the younger man's face while he'd been asleep.

"Huh, did we land yet?" Blair's sleepy eyes opened slowly. Did I really sleep through our flight? Am I that exhausted?

"Yeah, we just did." Jim smiled, unable to understand how anyone could sleep through that bumpy landing.

Blair blinked his eyes and unfastened his seatbelt. "Now what, Jim?" He already dreaded walking miles through the rugged jungle, as he wasn't sure his body had enough energy reserves to pull him through.

"I rented a jeep, but we'll have to walk the last mile, buddy." Jim barely restrained from helping Blair to his feet, seeing him sway. He continued to watch the younger man closely; Blair was pale and wobbly on his feet and Jim wondered if his partner would ever be the same again.

The eerie silence that had settled down between them was unnerving and Jim wished Blair would say something. It didn't matter what, just something! They exited the plane and headed for the jeep. "I'm looking forward to seeing Incacha again, what about you, Chief?" The truth was that he dreaded facing Incacha for ignoring the Chopec's warning.

"Yeah, me too," Blair lied. He cringed at the prospect of looking in to Incacha's eyes, knowing that it was his fault that Alex had had a chance to move in on Jim. What if I had confessed my feeling to Jim? What if he'd tried to make things work? What if I misjudged him? The thought startled him. Suddenly Blair realized that Jim had manoeuvred him on to the passenger's seat of the truck. How did that happen? "How long before we reach the village?"

"Two hours top," Jim replied. It would take them one hour to drive up there and then another hour to walk to the village. The uncomfortable silence returned and Jim gritted his teeth, determined to settle this for once and for all.

*

Blair sighed softly, readjusting his backpack. They'd been walking for thirty minutes and Jim expected them to reach the village any moment now. Blair hoped they'd find the Chopec shortly. This damp, hot air was making it harder on his lungs to function properly.

Jim heard the congestion build and felt guilty for dragging his partner through the jungle again, but they couldn't stop now, they had to persevere! Unexpectedly, sounds of water splashing and children playing reached Jim's ears. "We made it."

Relieved, Blair followed Jim as the Sentinel led him in to the Chopec village. He stepped back as several Chopec warriors moved closer to greet their long lost Sentinel. It was obvious that the Chopec were happy to see Jim, but they eyed him with suspicion, something which Blair understood. After all, he was just a stranger.

Several Chopec warriors greeted Jim by patting the Sentinel's shoulder. Empty eyed, Blair watched it happen, feeling shut out, but when then someone tugged at his sleeve, demanding his attention. Blair looked down in to a pair of dark eyes, which belonged to a child, a young girl that smiled brilliantly at him. Blair smiled back, unable to turn away.

"Enqueri!" Incacha's voice cut through the village as the shaman made his way over to his guests. First, Incacha embraced Jim, approvingly nodding his head. /"Coming here was the right thing to do,"/ he said, reassuring the Sentinel.

/"I hope so,"/ Jim replied, returning the welcoming embrace. /"You were right. I caused his death."/

/"You both made mistakes,"/ Incacha said reassuringly. /"But right now the wolf needs me more than you do. Mano will take you to your quarters, where you will stay, Enqueri."/ Incacha gestured his assistant to show Jim his quarters. He wanted to talk to Blair in private.

/"Can't I stay with Blair?"/ Jim pleaded. He didn't want to leave Blair alone.

But Incacha remained firm. /"Enqueri, listen to me. The wolf needs to heal, to find his way back. You can't reach him, but I can."/

Reluctantly, Jim turned to Blair and said, "Incacha wants to talk to you privately, Chief."

"But Jim! I hardly understand Quechua!" Right now, Jim was the only thing he could hold on to and Incacha wasn't taking that away from him!

"Blair, trust him. We should have trusted him a year ago."

Blair couldn't deny the truth to those words and gave in. With a heavy heart, Blair watched Mano lead Jim away from the crowd. Left behind, Blair felt confused and helpless. But then a small hand slipped in to his and squeezed softly. Blair smiled at the young girl and gathered his courage.

Incacha smiled approvingly, seeing the child's trust in Blair. Incacha raised his right hand and placed it on Blair's shoulder. Invitingly, he stepped aside, pulling Blair along.

The child let go of his hand and Blair moistened his cracked lips. Why does Incacha want to talk to me? I failed him! Quietly, Blair followed Incacha to a hut located at the outskirts of the village and stepped inside.

Incacha nodded his head, seeing the pain and loss in Blair's eyes. Gathering his little knowledge of the English language he said, "Sit, Blair."

Surprised at hearing his name, Blair obeyed and sat down on the blanket that had been spread across the floor. Incacha sat down opposite him and the smile that the Chopec gave him made Blair feel weary.

Incacha uncovered some dried herbs and plant leaves from a hidden pouch and began to chew them. Then he took out some more and offered them to Blair, gesturing the younger man to accept them and chew them as well. The herbs and plants had hypnotic qualities, which would take Blair to the spirit plane where they could talk.

Blair hesitated briefly, but then accepted Incacha's offerings. Slowly, he began chewing. The dried herbs and plants tasted bitter and Blair breathed in deeply, trying not to panic. The first time they had sat like this Incacha had induced the visions in him and he knew that the herbs served the same purpose as the liquid had.

/"Let the healing begin..."/

*

Blair blinked... hadn't Incacha taken him to a hut? So what was he doing back at the temple? Looking down at his body, Blair found that he was back in the wolf's body. Must have been the dried herbs Incacha fed me... they must be causing these hallucinations!

But this time he didn't feel as much at peace as he'd been the first time he'd visited the spirit plane. Looking about, he startled, seeing Incacha at the top of the stairs, which led to the temple. There was no sign of Jim's spirit guide.

"Young one," Incacha started and extended his hand in invitation.

Blair tried to reach out and take hold of Incacha's hand, but as he moved his body seemed to expand and he rose toward Incacha, regaining his human form. I'm butt naked! Blair wished he could conjure up some clothes, but then accepted the situation he had found himself in. "Why did you bring me here?"

"To be reborn," Incacha replied quizzically. He curled his fingers around Blair's, finally establishing close contact.

"Respectfully, Incacha, I don't deserve another chance." Blair winced. "You warned me not to hold back, to tell Jim I loved him and I chickened out. Alex moved in and I lost Jim's trust..."

"You know you made mistakes... good. But now the time has come to move on and to finally claim your Sentinel!" Incacha smiled smugly. "He still loves you. The spotted jaguar couldn't change that."

Blair blinked back his tears. "I wish I could believe that."

"Let me guide you, young one," Incacha offered. "You're lost now, but I can lead you back, if you'll let me."

"What do I do?" Blair desperately wanted to believe that Jim loved him.

"Free your animal spirit..."

*

Jim had left his guest quarters and was now pacing outside. Trying hard to ignore all curious eyes, he reached out to find Blair's heartbeat. Briefly, he panicked, when it took him longer than usual to locate his partner's heartbeat, but when he finally found the familiar heartbeat, he realized it was calm and controled. Why won't Incacha let me near Blair? It was driving him crazy that every time he tried to head for Incacha's hut Mano stopped him.

Jim halted abruptly when he saw Incacha leave his hut, walking toward him. Immediately, Jim started walking toward his former mentor. Mano tried to stop him again, but Incacha waved his assistant away, wanting to talk to the Sentinel.

I tried to teach you, Enqueri, tried to show you the truth, but you chose not to see. Incacha regretted not trying harder when the Sentinel had taken him in to nurse him back to health. He should have refused to leave.

/"Incacha! Where's Blair? Why am I not allowed near him?"/

Incacha raised his right hand, effectively silencing the Sentinel. /"Listen, Enqueri. At sunset the wolf will be initiated and your presence is required."/

Jim knew that Incacha tended to refer to Blair as 'the wolf' and wondered what this initiation would be about. Probably some ancient ritual! Jim filed the information away. His first priority was to talk to Blair, to have him close again. /"Can I talk to him?"/

/"You're not allowed near him until the initiation starts. The young one needs to contact the spirits and to become one with his animal spirit. They are already calling him."/

Jim realized that he was fighting a lost battle. The look in Incacha's eyes told him how determined the Chopec was. /"What's this about?"/ Jim didn't like this at all. And what about his meds? Is he still taking them?

/"At sunset, the young wolf will claim his life mate, Enqueri."/ Pleased, Incacha noticed the Sentinel's shocked expression.

*

Blair spent the next hours in a trance, caused by the dried herbs he'd digested. Incacha had built a fire and was now throwing more plants in to the flames. The fumes strengthened Blair's entranced state and he'd become lost on the spirit plane, no longer realizing what was happening around him. For Blair there was no more turning back. He'd chosen his path and had accepted his calling. The wolf pranced inside his mind, growling possessively, binding man and spirits together.

Incacha called several of the tribal elders to aid him in getting the young shaman ready. Five wise women entered the hut and undressed Blair, bathed him and then drew the ancient markings on his body. Red, white and black war paint covered his body and his hair was braided, decorated with beads and feathers. The paw of a jaguar, which a warrior had once taken down, was hung around his neck, naming him the Sentinel's shaman.

Incacha chanted the sacred words the old shaman had taught him, words that had been handed down from generation to generation. /"He's ready,"/ Incacha announced and the wise women left the hut. /"Mano?"/ His assistant appeared at once and Incacha instructed him. /"Make sure Enqueri attends the celebration."/

Mano nodded obediently and left to do Incacha's bidding.

/"Come, young one, your Sentinel is waiting for you to claim him... he just doesn't know it yet."/ Incacha pulled an entranced Blair to his feet and led him outside.

*

Impatiently, Jim joined the crowd, which had built a large bonfire. Several young warriors were already dancing around the fire, rhythmically swaying to the beat of the drums the young women were playing. He stayed at the back, observing and waiting for something, for what he didn't know.

Suddenly, his hearing honed in on a familiar heartbeat, one he desperately needed to hear. It still amazed him how easily he picked up on Blair's heartbeat. Maybe it indicated how badly he needed Blair close, especially now.

But Jim's heart thundered when he finally laid eyes on Blair. If it hadn't been for the familiar heartbeat, telling him that Blair was close, he might not have recognized the anthropologist. Blair could have easily posed for a native shaman. With a start, Jim realized that except for the war paint and a loincloth, Blair was naked. Focusing on the blue eyes, he found them draped. My God, what did Incacha do to you?

Incacha escorted Blair to the fire and Jim's eyes followed every move the younger man made. He loved Blair, wanted to get close to him, watch over him and Incacha insisted on maintaining this distance between them. Damn it! His heart missed a beat when Blair began to move, joining the dancers. Blair fitted in with the other dancers, moving with apparent ease and grace. Jim's breath caught as Blair dropped to his knees and then on all fours, mimicking the moves a large cat or... wolf would made. Growls escaped the young man's throat and Jim bit his lip. Fuck, this can't be happening, not right now! His cock twitched, growing erect within seconds.

In disbelief, Jim stared at Blair, who moved sensually and predatorily toward him. A large grey shadow appeared behind the young man and Jim immediately recognized the animal spirit; Blair's wolf. It was moving along, growling, stalking closer.

/"His time has come... the young wolf will claim his life mate!"/

Incacha's voice startled Jim. For years no one had been able to sneak up on him, but now the Chopec suddenly appeared behind him. Jim caught the smug smile in Incacha's dark eyes. I can't bear the thought of losing him to someone else. He can't take a life mate! Jim was scared to lose Blair; what if he chose a Chopec girl in his entranced state? I love him! You can't do this to me!

Incacha grinned, seeing the Sentinel's terror, but remained quiet. Suddenly, he pushed Jim closer to the fire, closer to Blair, who was still growling and sneaking closer on all fours.

What? Incacha, you... manipulative bastard! Jim never expected to be pushed forward, but should have known that Incacha was up to something. Suddenly, he found himself eye to eye with Blair... and the wolf. The expression in Blair's eyes changed from draped to alert... determined. The wolf howled loudly and Jim wondered if the Chopec saw the animal spirit as well.

Jim had frozen solid and was unable to lift a finger when Blair crawled toward him, almost stalking him. His thoughts went berserk. What's he doing? Crawling closer on all fours? Is he really licking his lips? Growling? The look in his eyes... feral... primal... never saw it before! Starting to sweat, Jim suppressed the urge to turn around and run hard. Blair's presence, his scent, the heartbeat was overwhelming and pulled him closer, paralyzing him. Blair had reached him, but was still on all fours, looking up at him with a predatory expression in his eyes. Acting instinctively, Jim dropped to his knees so that they were level. "Blair..." he whispered, beginning to realize that Blair had freed something that had been hiding inside his soul for years. This wasn't Blair Sandburg, partner, observer and anthropologist... this was his shaman...

Blair had long lost his hold on reality. In his mind only the howling wolf echoed and the animal spirit demanded he finally claimed his Sentinel, his life mate. Lunging forward, he clutched Jim's head between his hands. Claiming Jim's lips, his passionate kiss bruised the Sentinel's lips. More, I need more. You're mine, Sentinel... mine!

Jim quavered as Blair's lips brutally claimed his, forcing his teeth apart. A hot and demanding tongue invaded his mouth and he yielded to it. And then he heard... Blair's thoughts!

Mine, you're mine, Sentinel. I'm your guide, your shaman. You'll follow where I go...

Jim couldn't believe that he was actually hearing Blair's thoughts and then it hit him. Incacha had told him that Blair would claim his life mate tonight. Me! It's me! He wants me! He's claiming me! Once the victorious feeling had taken possession of him, it was almost impossible to stop his thoughts, which were running in circles. Me, he wants me!

I love you, Sentinel. As is it custom, I'm claiming you, choosing you as my life mate. Sentinel and shaman belong together. Love me as much as I love you... Be mine for the rest of our lives!

"Blair!" Jim wondered what to say, how to react. He'd expected them to bond, but not in this way. Blair's tongue suddenly slipped passed his teeth, plundering every hidden inch and he groaned at the delicious sensation. His hard cock strained against the fabric of his jeans and he knew with absolute certainty that Blair would claim him tonight. Yes, I want you, Blair... want you inside... like it should be! I love you and even your aggressive streak.

Blair's hand moved down and suddenly Jim found himself locked in a tight embrace. He didn't fight Blair when his lips wandered down his throat. Unexpectedly, teeth scraped against his throat and he surrendered, exposing as much skin as possible, offering himself to his lover. Blair didn't hesitate and buried his teeth in Jim's throat, drawing blood. Fuck, he's biting me! Marking me... and I like it! His cock throbbed, begging for release, but Blair wouldn't claim him here, not in front of the Chopec. They'd make love later when they were alone, in private. I don't know if I can wait that long! He managed to lock eyes with Blair when his lover pulled back to lap at the blood he'd drawn. "What are you doing?"

"Claiming you, marking you..." The chanting, the dried herbs and plants that Incacha was still throwing on to the fire were influencing him, taking away his fears and making it easier for his animal spirit to guide him. Want to be inside you, Sentinel... need to be inside you, thrusting, making you come, and tasting your essence... In his altered state of mind, his hands possessively squeezed Jim's ass, kneading the round mounds of smooth flesh. I'll take you, make you mine...

Incacha's laughter, mixed in with chanting drifted closer and Jim's Sentinel hearing picked up on the whispered words. /"Last chance, Enqueri. As is tradition, the shaman is claiming his life mate... Once you accept, the bond can never again be undone."/

The panther suddenly growled in Jim's mind, startling him and he realized it was answering the wolf's call, being drawn closer to the other animal spirit. He couldn't fight this, had no intention of fighting this and let go of his fears. "Forever, Blair... We belong together. I acknowledge the bond... we're life mates." He'd been so scared to say the words and now that he'd spoken them, he felt incredibly relieved. Blair's lips descended on to his again and Jim moaned in to his lover's mouth as Blair began to nibble on his lips, tracing the insides with his tongue. Fuck, I'm going to come in my jeans! His climax had been building and he came hard when Blair grinded his erection against his groin. Damn it! Biting his lip, he climaxed, smelling Blair's come at the same time. They'd both come!

The panther and the wolf ran towards each other, leapt and melted together.

Eyes big and unfocused, they stared at each other, panting hard. Blair had frozen and stuttered, "What?" Finally regaining his senses, Blair recalled what had happened. I claimed Jim in front of the Chopec and man, did I really come while just kissing him? Confused, he tried to wipe away the white cream that clung to his stomach. Looking at Jim, he tried to apologize for his behavior.

Jim saw the building horror in Blair's eyes and knew he had to assure his lover that everything was all right. "Don't say you're sorry, because you're not and neither am I. We should have told each other how we felt a long time ago." Jim buried Blair in a hug. They could worry about cleaning up later. First he had to reassure his lover. "I love you. I fell in love with you years ago."

"So did I," Blair admitted shyly, growing fully aware of the cheering Chopec all around them. Something had changed between Jim and he, had changed for the better and he was going to hold on to it.

Jim's fingers caressed Blair's skin, which felt soft despite the war paint that covered most of the young man's body. "I love it when you're forceful," he teased, ignoring the Chopec the best he could. "I love you, Blair. This feels right, incredibly right." He wondered what had changed between them, trying to pinpoint it and then he knew... "I'll follow you, Blair. I'll follow you wherever you go." Their roles had changed and he trusted Blair to guide him, fully trusting his lover's ability to make decisions that would be best for both of them for the first time in his life.

Blair had the grace to blush when the younger Chopec men and women began dancing around the fire again, obviously pleased with the outcome. "Love you too, Jim. But do you think we can move? I want to clean up... this is so embarrassing... Incacha could have given me some clothes. This loincloth barely covers my groin!"

"Sure." Jim rose and pulled Blair to his feet. Feeling proud and at peace, he fell in to step beside his life mate. I'll love and protect you... forever!

The end!
September 2001