Title: The Sweetness In My Life

Author: Scribe

Fandom: The Sentinel

Pairing: Jim/Blair

Rating: R

Summary: Blair is learning to live with his diabetes--with Jim's help

Archive: Yes, but tell me where.

Feedback: poet77665@yahoo.com

Status: Complete

Sequel/Series: Sequel to Too Sweet

Disclaimer: I did not create the characters here, I don't own them. I derive no profit from this effort. I mean nothing but respect for the creators, owners, and the actors and actresses who portray them.

Websites: http://www.angelfire.com/grrl/scribescribbles and http://www.angelfire.com/grrl/foxluver

The Sweetness In My Life
by Scribe

All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out. --Albert Camus (1913-1960), French-Algerian novelist, dramatist, philosopher. Gallimard (1958). Scipio in Caligula, act 2, sc. 14, Pléiade.
~~~~~

In a booth, at a diner

"It's not fair. Everyone is concentrating on coming up with new fat free stuff or cholesterol free stuff. My weight is okay and my cholesterol is excellent, thank you very much, Corporate America. What I need is a sugar free cookie that doesn't taste like a pack of Saccharine or shi..."

"Chief!" Jim jerked his head toward somehthing behind Blair.

Blair turned, and came almost nose to nose with the curly-headed blonde toddler (sex indeterminate) who was standing in the booth behind him, peeking over the seat. "Uhh... Shinola, taste like Shinola. Hi."

"Shi'ola," said the child.

"Right, kiddo--it tastes like shoe polish."

"Oo poh'ish?"

The woman sitting beside the child lifted hi/r back down, murmuring, "Don't talk to strangers, honey." Blair blew out a sigh of relief.

"I thought they'd made great strides in improving the flavor of artificial sweetener," Jim commented.

"So I've heard, but it's like the space race--the ultimate goal is to explore another galaxy, or at least go beyond our own solar system, right? Well, we've reached the moon. It's a long way from where we started, but look how far we still have to go."

"Aren't the hard candies all right? I heard you say the butterscotch was pretty good."

Blair gave him a pained look. "Hard candies are for Christmas or when you'll be busted in the library for eating anything messy." He thought. "Except Life Savers, which are cool, but not sugarfree, so the point is pretty much moot."

Jim picked up the check. "Whatever. Let's go, Darwin."

Major Crimes

Blair stalked into the bullpen and said loudly, "We have a thief!"

Henri and Rafe looked up from their paperwork. Jim came out of Simon's office, and Simon came to stand in the doorway. "What is it, Sandburg?" he asked. "Someone lift something out of your desk?"

Blair shook his head. "The break room."

Rafe twirled a pencil between his fingers. "It's the Lunch Bandit operating again?"

Henri snorted. "Not after that Ex-Lax brownie you put in your lunch two months ago."

Rafe smiled angelically. "You should have heard housekeeping curse about the state of the men's room down in records."

"No, my lunch was safe. Who the hell would be interested in a hard boiled egg and raw vegetables, anyway?" Blair grumbled.

Henri rubbed his head. "I dunno. There's been talk about doing a beefcake calendar, like the fire department. Someone might've wanted to shed some of that donut porkiness, just in case."

"Go on, laugh. I don't find it funny." Blair held up a brightly colored, crumpled paper bag. "In that breakroom there was a half full box of donuts (including jelly), two Twinkies, and most of a birthday cake from someone's party yesterday. So..." He shook the paper violently, "why does someone feel compelled to eat my sorry-ass sugar-free, sweetened with fruit juice, high fiber, low sodium, reduced fat carob cookies?!"

Simon winced. "The ones that look like what I scraped off my boots after I mucked out the stables in exchange for Daryl's riding lessons?" Blair gave him a narrow stare. "Don't look at me like that, Sandburg. I've seen you eating the damn things. I had to leave the room."

Blair threw the wrapper in the trash. "Great. Now all I have left for a snack is that beef jerky."

Henri groaned as Blair pulled a long, flat red-and-yellow plastic wrapped strip out of his desk drawer. "Sandburg, you know it's rude to eat in front of others if you don't have enough to share."

Blair gave him an arch look and started toward the door. "So I'll eat it in the break room."

In the grocery store

Jim stared at the different shaving creams. Where his usual brand sat there was nothing but an empty space, a SALE tag, and a pad of rainchecks. *Darn. What was that other kind that doesn't irritate my skin?* "Hey, Darwin, which..." Jim trailed off. He was alone in the Personal Care Products aisle, except for a tiny gray-haired lady who was eyeing him suspiciously. He gave her a sheepish smile, his eyes darting up and down the aisle. *Damn, I thought he was right behind me. I should have realized he was gone when I didn't hear conversation for over a minute. Where the hell is he?*

Jim didn't quite get the 'mother-who's-lost-sight-of-her-toddler-in-a-strange-place' feeling, but he still wasn't comfortable. He quickly wheeled his cart down to the cross aisle and walked the rest of the length of the store, peering down each aisle in search of Blair.

He wasn't in Pet Supplies, Office Supplies, Auto Supplies, Paper Goods... Now Jim was beginning to get a bit anxious. He turned around to search the sections they'd already shopped.

Jim almost missed him. This store had a long open bin freezer running between two banks of glass-doored freezers, and it was at least twenty degrees cooler there than it was in the rest of the store. Jim was zipping past the Frozen Foods because Blair usually tried to avoid going in there. As cold natured as Blair was, his teeth would almost be chattering by the time he emerged from between the upright freezers.

Ellison caught a glimpse of long auburn curls and skidded to a halt, causing a neat stack of cans to
topple over onto the bread, but he didn't notice--he was too relieved. He turned into the aisle and approached his lover, steps slowing as he noticed the intent look on Blair's face.

Jim wheeled up behind him and looked over Blair's shoulder, checking out what was fascinating his lover. He stifled a sigh. "Hey."

"I'm not touching--I'm just looking."

"I know that," Jim said gently.

Blair touched the slightly fogged glass. "Phish Food, Chunky Monkey, Cherry Garcia, New York Fudge Superchunk, The Full Vermonty, Karamel Sutra, From Russia With Buzz, Mint Chocolate Cookie... Do you know, I never had a chance to try half of these?"

"You can have ice cream."

"I can have a fourth of a cup." Blair shook his head. "I know myself, Jim. If I open a pint, I'm eating a pint. Maybe in a year or two I'll have the self control to restrain myself, but not now." He looked at Jim, forcing a smile. "You wanted something?"

Jim explained about the shaving cream. "I've gotten everything else we need for right now. Why don't you run over and get it, and I'll go ahead and check out."

Jim watched Blair trudge around the corner. Then he bent close to the glass door and studied the contents. He moved over a section, and his eyes came to rest on something, and he smiled slowly.

A moment later Jim hustled over to a cash register just as the last customer was exiting, dumped an item on the counter, and said, "Quick! Ring this up first, and put it in a paper bag, top rolled down."

The clerk rang it up and slid it to the bag boy, who said doubtfully, "Sir, it's better to put frozen foods in plastic."

"Plastic is see-through, and I don't want someone to see that."

The boy grinned. "Afraid the kids will bug you to death for it, huh?"

Jim grinned. "Something like that." He spotted Blair approaching, a can of shaving cream and a couple of small boxes in his hands. "Hurry, hurry!" The item was stowed before Blair arrived.

Blair showed Jim the can. "For your future reference, this one is the next best choice."

Jim nodded, and pointed to the boxes. "What's that, Chief?"

Blair showed him. "I spotted this in the dietic section. Sugar-free cake and icing mixes." Jim made a face. "I know, I know, but I'm willing to try almost anything."

The clerk slid items over the counter, the laser reader flashing thin spikes of red, beeping. Jim said, "When we get home, you unload the bath stuff. I'm doing the perishables. We'll never fit everything in the freezer if it isn't done systematically."

Blair rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Captain Organized."

Once at home, Blair took the bag of toilet supplies and took them into the bathroom, storing everything away. While he was in the bathroom he got his glucometer and ran a blood test. He grinned at the read-out before taking the strip out and dropping it in the trash. "Tra la!" Jim was just shutting the freezer door when he came back out. "Damn, you're a fast lil' bunny, aren't you?"

"We didn't have much frozen. I heard a 'tra la' in there. You been seeing elves again, Sandburg?"

Blair gave him a quick, smacking kiss on the cheek. "I didn't take my medication this morning."

"What? Blair..."

"Turn the panic dials down, Jim. I did it with my doctor's permission. My levels have been low the past couple of weeks, and he said I could try it without meds if I was very careful."

Relieved, but a little pissed, Jim leaned back against the counter, running his hand over his face. "Don't do that to me, Darwin. You know how I worry. Why didn't you tell me you were going to do this?"

"Because I do know how you worry. Jim, if I'd told you, you would have been watching me like a hawk, every second of the day. Your work would have suffered, and my nerves would have been shot. That affects body chemistry, too, as you well know."

Jim sighed. "Yeah, yeah." He smiled, that fabulous grin warming Blair's heart, and certain other organs. "That's terrific, Chief! So, you think you can control it with diet now?"

"I won't know till I see how it goes. I'm keeping the medication, and I'm going to keep testing regularly. If it stays in acceptable levels, then..." He shrugged, but his smile was just as wide as Jim's.

Jim kissed Blair. "I'm so damn proud of you, Chief. You deserve a reward." He opened the freezer took out a small cardboard cup, and handed it to Blair. Blair looked at it, his eyebrows rising, then looked back at Jim. "Yes, it's sugarfree, but it's good. I had to babysit a witness once--a nutritionist, and that was the only snack she had in the house. If you don't want chocolate, I have strawberry and vanilla, too. I got you the tri-flavor pack." He tapped the lid. "Look, they have the diabetic exchange listed on the lid, and each cup is one serving. No 'finish the pint'
temptation."

"Oh, man," Blair said softly. He lifted his eyes to Jim. "Things have been so crappy the last few months, and trying to do everything I have to to stay healthy has been such a struggle. When things got really bad, I used to have something sweet--comfort food, you know?" Jim nodded. Blair stared at the cup, then stared at Jim. He reached past the Sentinel, opened the freezer, and put the ice cream away.

Jim deflated a little. "Okay, so it's not a success."

"Who says it isn't? I just intend to eat it after."

Jim frowned. "After what?"

Blair grabbed Jim's belt and jerked him close. "What do you think?" He started to lead his now grinning lover toward the stairs. "I like ice cream, but first I want to indulge in my favorite sweet."

The End