Title: The Long Goodbye Epilogue

by Morgana

Fandom: The Sentinel

Pairing: Jim/Blair

Rating: R

Summary: Epilogue to Kikkimax's story located at http://www.zirask.org/standalones.htm. I personally needed some closure after reading the story, wondering what would happen once Blair realized he's a free man and this is what I came up with.

Catagory: AU.

THE LONG GOODBYE EPILOGE

by Morgana

"You're awfully quiet." Jim shot Blair a concerned glance. Blair had been 'sprung' from death row only one hour ago and he could only guess what was going through the younger man's mind.

Blair stared at the starlit sky, dark clouds and full moon. "It's been too many years, man. Too many years since I..." In the end, his voice failed him. Lying on his back, hands stuffed behind his head as a pillow, he stared at the sparkling stars. "I never thought I'd ever see it again. I was gonna die and now I'm here... I can't believe it's really happening."

Jim nodded once. He was staring at the stars as well, feeling comfortable lying on the welcoming grass. Having Blair close made him feel grounded. "I wouldn't have let them kill you."

Blair swallowed hard. "I wouldn't have let you throw your life away just to bust me out, man. The city needs a Sentinel."

"We can talk about this Sentinel thing later." Jim pushed himself on to his elbows and studied Blair's face, seeing the wonder in the stunning blue eyes. "I want to get you safely home first."

"Home... Death row was my home for years." Blair nervously licked his lips. He had seldom felt this lost. He had regained his freedom, but did he still know how to act the part, how to survive? What if he couldn't make it in the real world? What if he had been 'away' for too long? He needed a job, but who would hire an ex-con, even if the governor had pardoned him?

"Hey, you're looking gloomy." Jim had caught the slightly alleviated heartbeat and even smelled the cold sweat. "There's no need for a panic attack, Blair, you're out. You're safe."

Blair pushed himself to his feet and turned away from Jim. "Maybe staying with you is a bad idea. We can meet someplace neutral, where I can teach you how to perfect using your senses."

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Jim got to his feet as well and came to a halt behind Blair. Slowly he placed his hand on the younger man's shoulder, and once again the electric charge passed between them. He wasn't letting Blair go ever again!

"Think about it, man. No matter what, the world will always think of me as a criminal." Blair's shoulders slumped forward now that the adrenaline rush was wearing down. He had been so ecstatic about being a free man again that he had forgotten that things would never be the same again. Rainier wouldn't want him any more, he no longer had any friends and how the hell was he supposed to pay rent and for food? He couldn't live off Jim's charity forever. Feeling depressed, the weight of the world seemed to rest on his shoulders. "What was I thinking? This will never work!"

Jim folded an arm around Blair's shoulders. He had been expecting something like this. Suddenly everything was hitting Blair hard. "We'll deal with one thing at a time, right?" Blair nodded weakly. "And now I'm taking you to the loft, get you settled in. Things will be off for some time, Chief. You're starting a new life here and it's hard to leave the old one behind, I understand that."

Trusting Jim, Blair briefly leaned against the older man. "I'm scared, man."

"I understand that too." Jim's senses unexpectedly spiked and Blair's scent and presence pulled him back again. Maybe Blair was right and they needed to do a lot more work on controlling his senses. "Let's go home now, yeah?"

Blair allowed Jim to steer him back to the truck. "Thanks for letting me drive earlier. You must have been scared I'd cause an accident."

Jim smiled as he opened the car door, this time directing Blair to the passenger's seat. "Once you get your license fixed I'll let you drive again." Blair settled down on the passenger's seat and Jim fastened the belt for him. Blair's eyes were closing. "Are you really falling asleep on me?" Blair, out of it, didn't answer him. "Guess it's the stress."

Jim slipped behind the wheel, keyed the ignition and headed for the loft.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Come on, Blair, wake up. I need your cooperation here." Jim had managed to extract Blair from the truck, but the elevator was out of order and he needed Blair to climb the stairs. "You can sleep later."

"Sleep?" Tired eyes opened and fixed on Jim. "Where am I?" Looking about, Blair frowned.

"This is where I live, now move it." Jim helped Blair place one foot in front of the other. "I thought those sedatives had long worn off?"

Blair shrugged. "I don't know what's going on, man."

"All the excitement is probably catching up with you." They had finally reached the correct floor and Jim steered his charge toward the front door. After fumbling for the key, he quickly opened the door. "Head for the couch..."

Blair obeyed. Sheer will power kept him awake. "Nice place, man. Really spacious." Nothing like his cell had been! He sank onto the couch with a relieved sigh. "Just leave me here, man..." The couch was good enough for him and he doubted Jim had a spare room to put him in. "Couch's fine."

"Oh no, I want you in a decent bed." The bunk in Blair's cell couldn't have been comfortable. "Come on." He hoisted Blair on to his shoulder and carried him in to the spare room which he had changed in to a guest room for the time being. He had installed a futon, brought in a desk and a chair and had put clothes in the closet that should fit Blair. "You're here to stay, Chief."

Blair mumbled something intelligible and Jim smiled, watching Blair curl up on the bed. Luckily he had pulled down the covers before placing Blair on top of them and he now covered his guide with the comforter, not bothering to undress him. "Have some sweet dreams, Chief. You deserve them." Pleased, Jim turned away from the bed and headed for the kitchen. After drowning a cold one, he climbed the stairs and went to bed himself, listening with sentinel awareness to his guide sleeping below him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Argh... No!"

The scream roared in Jim's ears and he was out of his bed and downstairs in just a few seconds. The scream originated from the guest room and Jim slipped inside, finding Blair sitting upright with a frightened expression on his face. "Hey, chief, what's going on? Bad dream?" He remembered that Blair had been afraid to go to sleep at times on death row, not trusting the guards.

Blair slid out of bed and on to the floor in an attempt to hide beneath his bunk so no one would see him having a panic attack. He didn't want to be put on drugs again! He banged his head, hard and blinked, dazedly. Where was his bunk?

"Blair, calm down, you had a nightmare." Jim wisely stayed where he was, giving Blair a chance to realize the situation. "You're at the loft, remember?" He sat on his heels, watching Blair from across the bed. Slowly, understanding appeared in Blair's eyes.

"The loft?" Blair blinked again, trying to remember where he was and why Jim was here, only clad in boxers.

"You're a free man, remember? You left prison last night and then we went to the park. I even let you drive my truck for a short while." He briefly wondered if this panic attack had something to do with Stratton, the guard Boo had killed in order to protect Blair.

Blair managed to compose himself again. He cleared his throat, pushed back some stray locks and made eye-contact with Jim. "I thought I was still in my cell and... It'll take some time before..."

"Before you get used to living here," finished Jim for him. "The floor must be cold. Why don't you climb back in to bed?"

"I can't sleep no more," whispered Blair. "Sorry that I woke you."

"That's okay. We can sleep in if we want to. I don't need to report for work until the next week. The governor got me a job with Major Crimes. He thought I would be most valuable there."

"So you're going back to being a cop again?" Blair was glad for the distraction and sat shakily on the side of the bed, facing away from Jim. Damn, he had really lost it.

"Yeah..." Jim studied Blair's back. The younger man was shaking himself to pieces. "Here." Jim collected some sweats from the closet and placed them on the bed. "Why don't you put them on? They're more comfortable to sleep in."

Blair nodded absentmindedly. "Thanks."

"Do you want something to drink? Or eat?" Jim desperately wanted to take Blair's mind off things.

"Tea would be nice..." Blair reached for the sweats, struck by the fact that they were his size. "Thanks, man. You don't have to do this. I can't pay you back, you know? I'm not even sure I can get a job and..." A wave of misery washed through him. Back on death row, he had known what to expect, now everything was a blank.

"Let me worry about that for now?" Jim walked over to the doorway. "I'll make us some tea, join me in the kitchen after you changed?"

Blair nodded. "Sure..." He looked over his shoulder, saw Jim leave and shivered. He could hardly believe being able to leave his room whenever he wanted to, not to be shackled and checked first.

Adroitly, he changed into the sweats. He was thankful that Jim was helping him, but... After the Sentinel got complete control over his senses, Jim wouldn't want him around anymore. He would have to find a place of his own, a job... The vicious circle in his head started all over again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sit down, I hope you like chamomile."

"Used to be my favorite in the old days," joked Blair half heartedly. He sat down at the kitchen table, peeking at his surroundings. Jim's place was huge, compared to his former cell. "Thanks," said Blair as Jim handed him a cup of tea. Staring in to the swirling liquid, he tried to sort out his thoughts and feelings.

"Wanna tell me what that nightmare was about?" Jim sat down as well, cocked his head and caught Blair's cloaked eyes.

"As I said before, not everyone refused those fifty bucks." Blair sipped slowly, then shivered.

"Blair, I know about Stratton, but I need to ask... Did anyone else try something?" Jim's heart beat madly. He wasn't sure he could deal with a painful revelation. Hopefully no one else had tried to hurt Blair.

"No." Blair shook his head. "Word got around quickly. No one wanted to be Boo's next victim. Boo protected me in more ways than one."

Jim sighed relieved. "Good, I was worried that..."

"I had been raped?" Blair shrugged. "That's what usually happens to the fresh meat. I was lucky that someone was watching out for me."

"Those years on death row must have been hell," said Jim sympathically. "I shudder at the thought at what would have happened if I hadn't come along."

"I would have been executed," said Blair in a calm tone. "I accepted that."

Jim shook his head. "But you're here now. Let's focus on that. You're a free man now."

Blair laughed bitterly. "A free man..."

"Give it time, Chief. You'll make new friends, build a new life." Jim placed his hand on top of Blair's, gently squeezing the younger man's fingers. "You're a survivor, you don't give up."

"I gave up, Jim," Blair reminded him. "I tried to kill myself just a few days ago."

"That was a foolish thing to do," chided Jim. "You only did that to stop me from springing you. You have no real desire to die!"

Blair suddenly felt tired. He emptied the cup and placed it on the table. "Can I go back to bed now? I still feel tired." Ingrained reflexes kicked in and he held out his hands.

"What?" Jim was confused at first, but then he understood. "No more bracelets, Blair." He rose from his chair and guided Blair back to his room. After making sure the younger man was resting comfortably, he was about to switch off the light, when Blair stopped him.

"Please don't..."

Jim understood. The lights had been on most of the time in Blair's cell. "I can leave the lights on, you want that?"

Peeking from beneath the comforter, Blair nodded. "Please..." He doubted he could fall asleep anyway, but was willing to try for Jim's sake.

"Would it help if I stayed until you're asleep?" Jim wondered about his feelings toward this young man. When Blair had been in prison he had already felt hugely protective, but now that Blair was close, his urge to keep his guide safe was growing even stronger.

"Would you do that?" Blair's eyes widened.

"Sure, you kept me company throughout many long nights," said Jim, recalling walking down the block that first time and talking to Blair all night. He pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down, stretching his legs and resting them on the side of the bed. "Now go to sleep, Chief, and no bad dreams. You're safe here."

"Thanks, man." Blair smiled, closed his eyes and knowing Jim was close, he relaxed.

Jim watched Blair fall asleep. How had Blair survived on death row for so long? What emotional scars was Blair hiding inside? He would find out, living with Blair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim woke early the next morning and his first glance was for Blair, who was still peacefully asleep in bed. He grinned, pleased that Blair had slept through the rest of the night. Soundlessly, he rose from the chair and headed for the bathroom. What he needed right now was a cold shower to wake up fully.

A few minutes later he stood beneath the water spray, humming. Although his back hurt from sleeping in the chair, he felt great this morning and it probably had everything to do with one Blair Sandburg.

After drying his skin, he slipped into slacks and a comfortable sweater that wouldn't irritate his skin. His next stop was the kitchen. He switched on the coffee maker and tuned in for the early news on the TV.

"Last night the so called Manifesto Murderer, Blair Sandburg, received a pardon from the governor and was released from prison. Evidence was brought forward that allegedly proved that Blair Sandburg isn't the Manifesto Murderer. The police refuses to reveal anymore detailed information." The reporter's tone suddenly changed. "Blair Sandburg was on Death Row for three years and it's hard to believe that this man is now proven innocent after all this time. Should we believe the governor, and the police who refuses to hand this so called evidence to the public? I think not."

Angrily, Jim switched off the TV. Blair didn't need to hear this. Suddenly, noise from the corridor attracted his attention and a moment later someone was knocking on his door. He could hear their whispering. Fuck, reporters! How did they know Blair was staying with him?

He stalked over to the door, opened it and glared at the four reporters that were pushing mics in his face. "Get the hell out or I'll call the police."

"Mister Ellison, is it true that the Manifesto Murderer is staying at your place? Aren't you afraid you'll be his next victim?"

"Mister Ellison, you worked as a guard on death row, why are you now letting an ex-con stay with you?"

"Get the hell out of this building or..." Jim's glare intensified. He slammed the door in their faces. Bringing Blair here had been a bad idea.

"Jim? What's going?"

Jim spun around and sighed. Blair was standing in the guest room, staring at the threshold as if he wasn't allowed to cross it without permission. "Reporters, the fucking leeches know you're here." Jim ignored the knocks and walked over to Blair. "Do you want to take a shower first or eat breakfast?"

"Shower?" Blair said hopefully.

"Sure." Jim steered Blair to the bathroom. "Take all the time you need. I'm going to collect some favors in the meantime." Blair gave him a confused look, but he shooed Blair into the shower cabin and then closed the door behind his guest. He spent the next few minutes calling old friends from the force who owed him. They promised to take care of the reporters.

He had just terminated his last call when the phone rang again. Expecting it to be another nosey reporter, he roared, "What?"

"Jim Ellison? This is Captain Banks. The governor asked me to contact you."

"Banks?" The name sounded familiar. He concentrated on Blair and found that the young man was taking a shower. He could talk safely.

"Captain Banks from Major Crimes."

Suddenly everything clicked. "My new boss."

"Yeah and I want to talk to you." Banks didn't sound pleased. "The governor wants you on my team, but I'm not so sure you're the right man for that job."

Jim tensed. "I'm a good cop."

"He said something about extra sensory perception..." Banks muttered, distracted. "I don't believe in any of that mumbo jumbo, Ellison. I don't want anyone on the team who can't deal with the situation. I want to talk to you before I accept you on the team."

"That's fine with me, sir. When and where?"

"This afternoon, four o'clock, my office."

"I'll be there." Shit, how would Blair react to being left alone? He had the distinct feeling that his guide needed him close.

"And come alone."

Jim bared his teeth, realizing the true intent behind Bank's words. "I understand, sir.." He spat that last word in contempt. The conversation came to an end and he placed the phone on the table. Banks didn't want Blair to come in with him. But hadn't the governor explained to Banks that he needed Blair to help with his senses?

"Jim?"

Blair, clad in a warm morning robe, shuffled his feet, not leaving the bathroom yet, just peeking at Jim. After all these years it was hard to go where he wanted and when he wanted. It seemed like he still needed permission, still surprised he wasn't wearing chains anymore.

"Breakfast's almost ready." Jim could still hear the reporters, but now cops had joined them, telling them to leave. It was good thing he could still rely on old friends. They would keep the reporters off his back. "Coffee?"

Blair nodded and Jim filled their mugs. "What are your plans for today?" He had to find a way to tell Blair that he was leaving for Major Crimes in the afternoon.

"I don't know." Blair wasn't hungry and played with his bagel, never taking a bite out of it. "I was thinking about staying in." He had caught some of the commotion in the corridor and vowed to stay away from reporters, TV and the radio. He wasn't ready yet to deal with reality.

"That's a good idea, rest a bit." Jim finished his bagel and cleared his throat. "My new boss called. He wants me to come in this afternoon."

"Trouble?" Blair felt wary.

"Maybe." Jim shrugged. "I want you to stay here while I'm gone. A horde of reporters is probably waiting outside."

"I'll stay inside," promised Blair, realizing he had switched one cell for another.

"Everything will be all right, I promise."

But Blair flinched. "Don't make promises you can't keep..."

Jim allowed it. Distracting his depressed guest, he pointed at the computer in the corner of the living room. "That should keep you busy. Surf the net, find out what happened these last few years. Maybe you can contact your professors, let them know you'll be attending classes again, stuff like that?" He didn't like the sudden paleness that washed over Blair's face, but he didn't make a remark. Time, Blair needed time, he reminded himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim Ellison's mask was in place, as he sized up Captain Simon Banks from the Major Crimes unit. The unpleasant stench of the cigar almost made Jim cough and he wished Blair was here with him, helping him with his senses, but he had to do it alone. "Sir?"

Simon studied the newest addition to his team. "You've got a good record, but... what's with this senses thing?" The governor had explained it to him, but he wanted to hear it from the man himself.

"My senses are enhanced, all five of them. I can hear, smell, see things you can't."

"And you proved this to the governor?"

"Do you think he would take my word for it?" Jim wasn't sure what to make of Banks. He instinctively liked the man, but first he had to know where Banks stood.

Banks gave Jim a long, hard look. "And now he wants you on my team."

"Believe me, sir. I'm not thrilled about that either, but I'm a good cop. I can do the job and do it well."

Banks nodded slowly. "And what's this about you taking in an ex-con? Did you really take Sandburg in? The man's a criminal."

"He's innocent, sir. The real Manifesto Murderer was a Sentinel who failed to gain control over his senses and no, I won't lose my mind or control over my senses. I control them, they don't control me. You don't have a potential murderer on your hand."

"I still don't like it..."

"Blair Sandburg is a former anthropology student who specialized in Sentinels. He's the sole authority on that matter and that's why no one believed him. I proved to the governor that Sentinels exist and there was other evidence as well that cleared Blair. The real killer wrote the Manifesto and then Blair copied it in case he needed access to it later."

"I find it hard to believe that we would put an innocent on death row," sneered Banks. "And no matter what trick you pulled on the governor won't work on me. The governor wants you on the team, I can't stop that from happening, but no way you're bringing in Sandburg as a ride along. The governor must have been mad when he allowed it. I won't have any of it!"

"But I need him to guide me with my senses," said Jim through gritted teeth. Why was Banks so stubborn? "Sandburg..."

"Is an ex-con. No officer or uniform would tolerate him and I don't want him around either. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir..." Jim's eyes turned to ice. "Anything else, sir?"

"Yes, the deal changed. You're starting tomorrow. We have several urgent cases on our hands. I'll team you up with Taggart, he can show you the ropes. That's it."

Realizing he was being dismissed, Jim marched out of the office. How dare Banks judge Blair without knowing him!

"Jim Ellison?"

Jim turned around and stared hard at the dark skinned man that had dared to address him. "Yes?"

"I'm Joel, your new partner." Joel extended his hand to shake Jim's, but the cold glare made him feel uneasy. This wasn't how he had expected their first meeting to be like.

Jim accepted and shook Joel's hand, but his icy glare remained.

Joel felt nervous. "Our shift starts at eight in the morning. Here, maybe you want to read about our current case." He handed Jim a file, and almost backed away. Jim's stare was getting to him. Oh no, he wasn't going to enjoy working with Ellison, but it was too late now. He couldn't ask Simon to partner Ellison with someone else, he had volunteered.

"I'll see you at eight." Jim accepted the file, tucked it away and left Major Crimes, very eager to find out if Blair was doing all right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Look, there he is! Scott, take some pictures, damn it!"

Blair quickly backed away from the window and moved over to the couch. He hated the reporters, why couldn't they leave him alone? He collapsed on the couch, pulled the afghan on top of his shivering body and wrapped his arms around his waist. He felt lonely and scared.

He had stayed away from the computer, TV and radio, too scared to find out what the media was saying about him. He just had to wait, remain patient. In a short while the hype would be over and they would leave him alone again.

Alert, he scanned his surroundings. He felt fairly comfortable on the couch and wondered when Jim would be back. The older man had been in a bad mood after receiving that phone call from Captain Banks. Hopefully the governor had explained everything in detail to Banks.

What was taking Jim this long? It was past seven and his stomach growled hungrily. He knew he could fix himself something to eat, but was hesitant to do so without Jim's permission. He still wasn't sure what was acceptable and what not. For years he had followed instructions, had lived with constant restrictions and he couldn't do away with them that easily. Those rules had become part of him. He still caught himself extending his hands from time to time to be shackled, only to find that that was in the past now.

"The arrogant bastard..."

Blair flinched, hearing Jim's angry tone. The Sentinel closed the door behind him and Blair realized he had never seen Jim this angry before. Staying quiet, he listened to Jim rave. Sometimes the guards had raved and they had enjoyed harassing him, that had been before Wolfe and the other more friendly guards had joined the team. Feeling intimidated, he hoped Jim wouldn't notice his presence.

Suddenly Jim turned about and looked him straight in the eyes. Blair swallowed hard and tried to put up a brave front. "I take it things didn't go well?"

"Bank's an asshole..." Jim opened the fridge and looked inside. "You want a beer as well?"

"No, thanks..." He didn't know what effect beer would have on him and he wanted to stay clearheaded.

Jim however carried a cold one with him and settled on the couch beside Blair. "Really, the man's..." He shook his head.

"What happened?" Blair tried to remain calm, hoping it would rub off on Jim.

"He doesn't want me on his team, but the governor does..."

Blair nodded. "You should have known it would like that."

"And he already partnered me with someone called Taggart... I want you as my back up, not someone who knows shit about my senses!"

"Ah." Suddenly Blair started to realize what might really upset Jim. "Jim, is this about me?"

Jim sighed, caught. "Banks doesn't want you near the station. I tried to explain to him that I need you, but he refuses to listen."

Blair nodded his head. "Listen, Jim, to those cops I'm a criminal. You can't expect them to change their thinking."

"But you're not a criminal, Blair! You're innocent! They should give you a chance to prove yourself!" Jim placed the bottle on the coffee table with a loud bang.

"Jim, a long time ago I learned that live isn't fair. I'll help you the best I can, maybe guide you over the phone. Maybe this Joel can help you, maybe I can teach him..."

"But I want you there," said Jim calmly.

Blair smiled saddened. "Maybe they'll realize I'm not the bad guy they think I am. Give them time, Jim."

"No fair, using my own words against me..." Jim absentmindedly touched Blair's hair, fingering a strand. "How was your day?"

"I wish the reporters would go away," sighed Blair, feeling the small electric charge that sizzled through his hair. Looking in to Jim's eyes, he knew the other man felt it too.

"You're something really special." Jim smiled. "I didn't believe Randy at first when he told me, but you're really special."

Blair actually blushed. "I..." Speechless, he stared into Jim's eyes. The sensation between them was growing stronger, pulling them together and before he knew what was happening, Jim's lips rested against his, claiming them softly. Blair gave in at first, but then pulled back. "What?"

Jim looked equally mystified. "Chief, I think we need to talk."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blair wasn't speechless often, but the kiss had silenced him. He had expected that some sort of bond would form between them, but had never thought it would be of a sexual nature. Looking into soft, blue eyes, he couldn't deny that he had feelings for Jim. At first, he had been unable to label them correctly, but now he knew.

"Silenced you, huh?" Jim tried to tease Blair, but the seriousness of the situation surfaced a moment later when he fully realized what this meant. "Anything else you want to tell me about this Sentinel-guide thing?"

Blair finally managed to nod, still a little dazed. "I didn't know it would happen. It never happened with David."

Jim nodded, recalling the real Manifesto Murderer. "I'm glad it didn't."

"So you're okay with this? I can't believe you, man!" Blair licked his lips, growing more nervous with every passing second.

"I'm okay with it," said Jim, smiling. "I don't have a problem with being involved with a guy."

"Oh, man, this is so unreal!" Blair suddenly jumped to his feet and paced the living area. "This complicates things."

"No, it makes everything easier." Jim rose from the couch as well and joined Blair, stopping his pacing. "Don't you understand? I want to be your partner in every sense of the word. This has been building since I met you. The electric charges, the tension, the attraction... It makes perfect sense."

"I can't believe I didn't see it coming! I studied Burton's works, I should have known!" Blair wondered what to do next. Could he accept this?

"We'll take things slow," promised Jim. "First time with a man?"

"Yeah," admitted Blair in a soft tone. "I only dated women." But he couldn't deny the attraction between them. Jim made him feel safe and he craved the older man's presence.

Jim realized that it was time to change the subject, to distract Blair a little. "I'm hungry. Let's eat?"

Blair nodded absentmindedly. "Sure."

Jim walked in to the kitchen and rummaged in the cupboards. "Is pasta okay?"

"Sure..." Blair felt confused, being reduced to short answers that didn't require much thinking.

"Here, chief, you can toss the salad." Jim waited for Blair to join him and then watched him intently. Did he have a chance with Blair? He truly hoped so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good night, chief. I'll see you in the morning." Jim felt awkward, getting ready to climb the stairs to his bedroom. Being honest, he had to admit that he wanted Blair close to him, to be exact; next in bed with him, but he doubted Blair was ready for that step. The younger man needed his privacy after being incarcerated for so long.

"Night, Jim and thanks..." Blair quickly disappeared into his room and was thankful for the curtain that Jim had hung in the doorway. He slipped into bed, curled up on his side and stared out of the window. The stars were back. I still can't believe it. I'm out, free and a Sentinel depends on me. When did we bond? Is this the way it's supposed to be? Was David a mistake? A terrible mistake? What am I gonna do? Jim doesn't have a problem with this bond between us, I saw it in his eyes.

Getting involved with Jim was a frightening concept. It had been years since he had felt a lover's touch and back then it had always been a woman's touch. Yes, he had checked out some guys, but had never put the moves on them. Now everything was about to change, if he allowed it to change.

His thoughts continued to run in circles and in the end he wore himself down. His eyes closed and he fell asleep, tightly hugging a pillow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No... Jim, don't... Don't take the risk... It's okay, I accepted death... Made my peace with it. Don't put yourself in danger..."

The frantic mumbling woke Jim. He sighed, pushed down the covers and got to his feet again. He had half expected that the nightmares would return and haunt Blair. Maybe he should have invited Blair to sleep upstairs, just sleep, nothing else, but he hadn't and now he had to render that mistake.

He made his way downstairs and pushed the curtain out of his way. Blair was tossing in bed, his face slightly contorted and his hands caught in the comforter. Sighing he sat down on the side of the bed. "Blair, wake up, chief." He gently shook Blair and felt relieved when the big blue eyes opened.

"Jim? What?"

"You had a bad dream."

"Oh, sorry." Blair looked crestfallen. This was the second night that he had woken Jim.

"Why don't we move this upstairs? Maybe the nightmares will stay away then?" They had stayed away when he had kept a vigil at Blair's bed last night, but his back couldn't take another night in that damn chair.

"Jim, man, I'm not so sure that's a good idea..." Blair was hesitant to accept, not wanting to give Jim the wrong impression. He was no way ready for 'that'.

"Don't look at me like that, chief. I'm not going to jump your bones... not yet anyway," added Jim with a a wicked smile. He almost instantly regretted the remark, seeing Blair flush a crimson red. "Sorry..."

Blair drew in a deep breath. Jim had made a valid point. Sleeping here resulted in having nightmares, maybe he should try sleeping upstairs? "We're just gonna sleep, yes?"

"Yes," confirmed Jim, this time without his wicked grin. "Just sleep."

Blair gave in reluctantly. He left the bed and followed Jim upstairs. When he reached the bed, he remained standing, feeling awkward. Now what?

Jim lay down, facing him and patted the space in front of him. "Come on, chief."

Blair sighed. There was no way out of this. He lay down facing Jim, wondering what the Sentinel was up to.

"How about moving this a little closer?" Jim gave him a hopeful look and opened his arms.

Blair give in, realizing it was too late to change his mind. He settled in the embrace and almost grinned as Jim tucked his head beneath his chin.

"Comfortable?"

"Yeah." Oh man, it had been years since he had shared a bed with someone who cared about him! Suddenly, tears started to build in his eyes and he forced them back. No way was he going to cry now!

"Night, chief." Oh, this felt good. Blair was in his arms and he didn't plan on letting go until they had to get up in the morning.

"Night," mumbled Blair softly. This did feel comfortable, and safe. He no longer had to worry about guards he didn't trust, who would except those fifty bucks and made life hard for him. He was at the loft and Jim was close... It was perfect.

It didn't take Blair long to fall asleep again, lulled into slumber by Jim's steady breathing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Morning..." Jim stretched luxuriously, pleased to find that Blair had stayed in his arms during the night. He hated leaving Blair alone for the day, but he had to go in. Banks was expecting him to show up. Without Blair. Why can't the man understand that I need my guide?

"Morning, Jim." Blair checked the time, barely believing that he had slept peacefully most of the night. Jim's presence worked miracles. "You going in today?"

"I have to, Banks made it very clear that he wants to see if I fit in with the team. I hate to leave you all day alone though, but luckily the reporters are gone. Maybe you could go for a walk? We need some groceries anyway; you can cook tonight."

A flash of panic passed over Blair's face, then disappeared again. "Maybe..."

"You have to go outside sometimes, Blair. You can't hide in here."

Blair knew that, but he wasn't ready to venture outside yet. Maybe in a few days.

"What about Rainier? Did you contact your former professors? Did you enroll for some classes?"

"Not yet..." Didn't Jim understand that he couldn't show his face there ever again? To the outside world he would always be guilty; the Manifesto Murderer, no matter what the official papers said.

Jim sighed, pushed back a stray lock from Blair's face and looked the younger man deep in the eyes. "I can go with you, if that makes things easier."

"No, thanks..." Blair closed his eyes again and Jim left the bed.

"Sorry, chief, but I have to get ready for work. Breakfast in ten?"

"I'll fix something," offered Blair, leaving the bed as well.

Jim watched him descend the stairs, not liking the slumped shoulders and defeated expression on Blair's face. Time, he reminded himself. Blair needed time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How was your first day at work? How's Banks? Did he give you a hard time?" Blair placed baked potatoes, greens and steak on the table and signaled Jim to take a seat and get started.

Jim briefly thought that Blair had gone grocery shopping after all, but then realized that everything on the table had come from the fridge and cupboards. Blair hadn't set a step outside at all. He waited for Blair to sit down as well. "Maybe it won't be that bad. Banks is a hard ass, but he seems fair enough."

"What about your new partner, what's his name?" Blair concentrated on forcing down the greens. He wish he could have accompanied Jim today, although he even had mixed feelings about that. Part of him had wanted to stay with Jim, even if it meant going to the precinct, but then he had realized that none of the cops would want him there. They would have made it very clear that he wasn't welcome and he didn't want to go through the abuse.

"His name's Joel. He seems all right. Maybe he's a bit too soft for the job."

Blair translated. "He's got a good heart?"

"Yeah..." Jim studied Blair, noticing the restlessness in the young man's gestures. "You wanna go to the park tonight? Watch the stairs?"

Blair nodded at once. "Can we do that?"

"Sure." Jim frowned. "You can go outside you know... You're not a prisoner any longer. I don't want the loft to take the place of your cell."

Blair licked his lips, growing nervous. "I'm not ready yet..."

"Did you think about the future yet? What do you wanna do with your life? Go back to Rainier and study?"

Blair shook his head. "Can't show myself there. Once the media hype is over I'll try to find a job near by."

"Blair, that would be such a shame. You're a smart kid. Go back to Rainier."

But Blair was determined. "No."

Jim sighed, he would try again later. "Finish up and then we'll go to the park..." Suddenly the sparkle was back in Blair's eyes and Jim smiled. Blair wanted to go outside, he really did, but was scared to do so on his own. "We'll do this together..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This time Jim encouraged Blair to lie down and rest his head in his lap. Blair complied and Jim lost himself in fingering the soft locks. Words were redundant and silence reigned supreme. Hour passed after hour and when they left, a new sense of peace had descended on them.

When they got back to the loft, Blair followed Jim upstairs, changed in to his sweats and settled down in the Sentinel's arms. That night, no nightmares haunted him. It felt like he had made a new beginning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later...

Jim rubbed his brow. This monster headache was killing him. It had started after trying to label different smells at the crime scene and since then it felt like he continued to smell death.

"Hi, Jim, are you okay?" H, concerned, approached their newest addition to the major crimes team. As far as he was concerned he had accepted Ellison as part of the family. Although Ellison was a hard ass and sometimes hard to be around, the man had earned his respect and he knew many others felt the same. Joel liked having Jim for a partner, knowing he could always trust Ellison to watch his back. Even Rafe had teamed up with Ellison once and the bust had been a success. And Simon Banks was also warming up to the idea of Ellison being a permanent part of the team. There was only one problem, the Manifesto killer. "Hey, Jim, headache? Want some aspirin?"

Jim waved him away. "Just give me a moment." Although Banks and Joel knew about his Sentinel abilities, the rest didn't and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Just give the word and I'll find you some serious pain killers," offered H again. He sat down on the edge of Ellison's desk, wondering. Until now, no one had ever dared to mention the Manifesto murderer and he wasn't sure he should bring it up, but it piqued his curiosity. In these last two weeks he had gotten to know Ellison and he couldn't believe that Jim would shack up with a criminal.

"It's poker night at Simon's, are you coming too?" Joel joined them. He felt worried, seeing the strain in Jim's eyes. When he had first learned about Jim's abilities he had refused to believe it, but then Jim had proven it to him, hearing, seeing and smelling things he couldn't. Since then he had taken Jim under his wings, watching his back.

"Thanks for inviting me, guys, but I don't think I can make it. This headache is killing me..." And to be perfectly honest, he wanted to spend the evening with Blair. He missed having his partner around during the day. He closed his eyes, envisioning making out on the couch. They hadn't gone all the way yet, but Blair was definitely warming up to the idea of becoming lovers and he wanted to spend every available minute with Blair.

"Just hold on, I got aspirin in my desk." H collected the aspirin and offered Jim two. Joel brought a glass of water and they watched Jim swallow the aspirin. "That headache will be gone within minutes," promised H. "You know, we would really like you to join us tonight. It's a... bonding thing, you know, male bonding..."

Jim sighed. "I'll think about it."

Joel frowned. "Is it just because of the headache that you don't want to join us?" He had overheard certain phone calls that Jim had had with his roommate. At first, he had tried to convince Jim that it was a bad idea to take in an ex-con, but Jim had been pissed off, hearing his remarks and he hadn't tried again. The one thing that had struck him when listening to Jim on the phone was the affectionate tone he used. He couldn't envision befriending an ex-con and certainly not someone from death row.

Jim sighed again as vertigo made the room sway. It didn't look like the aspirin was working; it almost felt worse. "I don't want to leave Blair alone all night."

"You're entitled to some fun, Jim. What kind of hold does this guy have you? You're a cop. You can do whatever you want." Joel watched Jim closely, seeing the angry expression in the suddenly icy blue eyes.

"Don't judge him. You don't even know him," defended Jim Blair.

"Jim, he's an ex-con, a murderer," reminded H Jim.

"He didn't kill anyone. He just protected someone and went down for it." Jim was getting frustrated.

"That's what he says." Joel shook his head. "You'd be much better off if you told him to move out."

"You have no idea..." Jim got to his feet, but his head suddenly reeled and he collapsed in the chair again. "Something's wrong..." The aspirin was making everything worse. The sounds, smells intensified. "I need Blair..." His guide would know what to do. "Take me home..."

Joel and H exchanged a glance. "You don't seem fit to move about, Jim..."

Suddenly Jim froze in his movements, too focused on a speck of light. His senses locked on the light, effectively imprisoning him. Zone out...

"Jim? Jim?" Truly worried, Joel leaned in closer, waving his head in front of Jim's face. "He's out of it."

"What do we do now?" H quickly looked at Simon's office.

"Get Simon in here..." Joel loosened Jim's clothes, making sure nothing obstructed his airways.

"Simon!" H alerted Simon and the two men returned to Jim's desk.

"What's going on? Ellison?" Simon frowned.

"He's out of it." Joel suspected Jim's state had something to do with his senses. "Maybe we should take him to your office where he has some privacy?"

"Good idea..." Simon signaled them to get moving. Five minutes later Jim was settled in the corner of his office in a comfortable chair.

"It worries me that he's completely unresponsive..." Simon studied his detective.

"Now what?" Joel had shooed H from the room, that way they could discuss Jim's abilities freely.

"I don't know what to do. If this is about his senses..." Simon shrugged.

"He said something about needing Blair..." offered Joel reluctantly. "Honestly, I don't understand why he wants a criminal for a roommate."

"Maybe it's time we found out," whispered Simon, searching for the loft's phone number. "Don't get me wrong, Joel. I don't want Sandburg here, but he might be the only one able to help Jim."

"You're going to call him?"

"Yes, and I want you and H to bring Sandburg in. It should take you ten minutes to reach Ellison's place. Be careful when you bring Sandburg in. Don't forget his past; he's dangerous."

"You can count on me." Joel left Simon's office and walked over to H. "We're bringing in Sandburg. Be careful around him."

H nodded. "I'll keep my eye on him." An ex-con couldn't be trusted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blair was watching Discovery Channel, one of his favorites when the loud banging on the door startled him. Acting on instinct, he threw off the afghan, jumped to his feet and froze.

"Sandburg? Blair Sandburg? This is Joel Taggart, open this door."

Joel Taggart? Wasn't that Jim's partner? A cop... Damn it, a cop! What could they want from him? Shaking like a leaf, he walked over to the door and opened it. He tried very hard to appear calm and in control, but his hand resting on the door knob trembled fiercely. The two men stared back at him, frowning, with a confused look on their faces. "Yes?"

"Are you Blair Sandburg?" Joel frowned. This kid couldn't be the Manifesto murderer, but then again, he had never seen a picture of the criminal.

H went through similar motions. Sandburg looked young, too young and there was a startled look in his eyes. This couldn't be the Manifesto murderer. Yeah, looks could be deceiving, but there was something about those blue eyes that made him want to re-assess his judgment.

"Yeah, I'm Sandburg..."

Joel's frown deepened, hearing the tremors that rocked that soft voice. Was the kid pulling his leg? "You sure you're Sandburg?"

Blair grinned nervously. "Yeah." Why were they acting this odd? His nervousness increased and he prayed he wouldn't get a panic attack. He hadn't had one these last two weeks but that had been because Jim had been close.

"Somehow I..." Joel suddenly shut up. He had almost told Sandburg that he had expected some sort of caveman. "You need to come with us." At that exact same moment, the phone rang. That had to be Simon. "Aren't you going to answer that?"

Blair paled. "No, might be a reporter..."

Joel sighed. "H, get that. Tell Simon that we're on our way."

H answered the phone and informed Simon.

"Come on, let's go." Joel stepped aside to let Blair pass. He didn't like the sudden paleness and look of horror in the kid's eyes.

"Am I under arrest? I can't be! I didn't do anything wrong!" Panic hit hard and almost knocked Blair off his feet. Fighting to draw in his next breath, strong tremors shook his body.

At first, Blair's reaction confused Joel, but then he understood. He grabbed a shopping bag, lying on the kitchen table and held it in front of Blair's face. "Just try to calm down. No, you're not under arrest."

Blair exhaled, inhaled and yes, the bag helped. "Thanks," he whispered, shaken. "Then why are you here, if I'm not under arrest?"

H collected a coat and some shoes and handed them to Sandburg; couldn't let him leave bare footed. "Ellison needs you."

Joel nodded. "Something's wrong with him. He got a killer headache and things got worse when we gave him some aspirin."

"Aspirin? You gave him aspirin?" Blair's eyes widened. The fools had given Jim aspirin! Only recently, when Jim had battled a cold, he had realized that the Sentinel reacted unpredictable to medication. "Don't ever give him aspirin!" There was no way of telling what the drug would do to a Sentinel.

"Are you coming?" Joel signaled H to step into the corridor while Blair slipped into the shoes and coat. "Ready?" They were losing time!

"Yes." Old reflexes kicked in and he held out his hands for the shackles.

Joel's brow grew knitted. "What?"

"Aren't you going to..." Suddenly Blair realized what he was doing and quickly hid his hands in the pockets of his coat.

But Joel and H realized what had happened. The kid had expected to be handcuffed. Joel was the first to clear his throat and get moving. Was it possible that something had gone wrong with the trial when Sandburg had been sentenced? Something told him that this young man was incapable of murder.

Blair focused on his breathing, trying hard not to start hyperventilating again. The thought that Jim needed him pulled him through

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Restlessly Simon Banks paced his office. He had almost lit a cigar, but then decided against it, not wanting to bombard the Sentinel with even more smells. He didn't like it, didn't like it one bit that he had to rely on an ex-con to help Ellison. Ellison was a good cop, a bit pig headed but made of the right material. He could shape this rough diamante, if Ellison let him. And now damn it, Sandburg was getting involved.

The governor had told him that Sandburg was innocent, that he hadn't commit the Manifesto murders, but he didn't believe the man. The governor wanted Ellison to work within Major Crimes and it was very well possible that the man stretched the truth when it came down to Sandburg.

A knock on his door shook him from his musings. "What!" His men had become used to his bellowing, but when the door opened, he saw a trembling and obviously intimidated young man standing next to Joel. "What are you doing? I told you to bring in Sandburg!" Why was Joel bothering with this kid?

"Simon, this is Blair Sandburg..." Joel cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable.

Simon managed to hide his surprise. "You're Sandburg?" Funny, the kid didn't look like a killer and he seen quite a few homicidal killers in his days. The gleam wasn't present in the eyes.

"Yeah..." Blair's eyes sought out Jim and his breath caught seeing the Sentinel in a zone out. Damn, Jim had zoned once or twice and he had hoped that Jim had a handle on it, but apparently this zone out had blindsided him. Maybe the aspirin had made it worse?

"Can you help him?" Simon pointed at Jim. "And Joel, close the door."

"Maybe..." Blair stood frozen. A police station was the last place he wanted to be and he always kept in mind that this Captain Banks hated his guts. To them, he was a killer, an ex-con at best. Slowly, he shuffled toward Jim and sat on his heels in front of him. "Jim, buddy, listen to my voice. Concentrate on my voice." He clasped his fingers around Jim's, rubbing them gently. "Can you feel that? Can you hear me? Come on, Jim, you can do this."

A shudder passed through Jim and he blinked. "Blair? Oh my God, it's you..." Slowly, he returned to reality. "It was the light. It was so beautiful."

"Remember what I told you? About the zone out factor? It happens when you're too focused..."

"Good thing you're here now." Jim barely restrained himself from kissing Blair, realizing they weren't alone in the room. "How did you get here?"

"They brought me in," said Blair with a sarcastic tone in his voice.

"Uh..." stuttered Joel. Blair Sandburg was quite a surprise.

Blair rose to his feet, Jim rising behind him. "Can I go now? I don't want to be here..." Too many cops, too many holdings cells in the basement.

Simon sized Sandburg up. He held Blair's stare for long minutes and no one spoke a word, feeling the tension in the room.

Joel cleared his throat, ending the awkward silence. "Thanks for helping Jim."

Blair shrugged. "If you'd let me ride with him, I could constantly keep an eye on him, but..." His voice trailed off. He shouldn't push this, just get out and go home.

Simon turned away from them, sorting out his thoughts. Sandburg was nothing like he'd expected.

Joel was thinking the same thing. This young man wasn't a killer. He wasn't sure why he was this certain that Sandburg was innocent, but he was inclined to give the kid the benefit of the doubt. "How's the headache, Jim?"

"Gone." It had disappeared when Blair had arrived. Protectively he placed a hand on Blair's shoulder. He wouldn't let them hurt Blair with their rejection. "I'm taking him home."

Blair, relieved, nodded happily. Yes, home sounded great. He started for the door when Simon addressed him and he froze.

"Tonight's poker night... Maybe Jim and you want to join us? It's just Rafe, Joel and I." Simon suddenly realized what he had done; he had invited the so called Manifesto murderer to their poker night. But no, Sandburg wasn't a killer. Maybe the governor had spoken the truth... No matter what, he was determined to find out.

Jim raised an eyebrow. "I don't think that's a good idea, sir. We both know what your thoughts are concerning Blair and I won't see him hurt again." Blair had gone through enough shit on death row. He didn't need Banks fucking with his head.

"No, I'm honest, Jim. Maybe... I judged too fast." Simon made eye contact with Sandburg, but the young man quickly lowered his eyes. "I mean it. Poker night's at my place. Be there at eight and bring the kid."

Blair suddenly looked up. "The kid?"

Simon grinned. No, those weren't the eyes of a killer. His instincts would warn him. "Yeah, kid. How old are you?"

Blair whispered softly, "Twenty-five. I'm not a kid."

"Bring the kid," instructed Simon again. He settled back in his chair and lit a cigar. Maybe things would work out after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Jim? What was that all about?" Blair stayed close to Jim as they walked in to the bull pen. He could feel the eyes in his back, watching him.

"I have no clue," admitted Jim. Banks hadn't reacted like he thought the man would to Blair's presence.

"Hi, Jim!" H walked up to them. "I'll bring the beer if you guys bring the pretzels!"

Blair's face mirrored his confusion. Why were they inviting him? Was this one big game to them?

"I don't think we can make it," said Jim evasively. He didn't trust their sudden change of heart either.

"Come on, Jim, give us a break." Joel shrugged his shoulders. "The truth is... Sandburg is quite a surprise."

"Not the monster you thought he'd be," said Jim knowingly. It had taken Blair only a few days back on death row to wind him around his little finger. Maybe Blair had the same effect on the bull pen gang?

Blair managed a weak smile. "A surprise?"

"Yeah." H cocked his head. "Poker? Tonight?"

"Maybe," said Jim cautiously. "Let's go, chief." He gently steered Blair to the doorway.

"Hey, Joel, you think the kid's a killer?" H watched them leave.

"My gut's telling me no, but I can't explain it." The frown on Joel's brow deepened.

Jim smiled, eavesdropping with Sentinel senses.

"Jim? What's up, man?"

"You might have made some friends today, chief."

Blair stared Jim in the eyes. "You think so?"

"Yeah, come on, chief, we need to get those pretzels."

"We're going then?" Blair wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"I think we should take this chance, Blair."

Blair knew Jim was right. "Yeah, maybe things will work out after all."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon looked out of the window, watching the two men leave. He was a stubborn man, but not too stubborn to admit that he might have been wrong about Sandburg. As a cop, he had refused to believe that the system could incarcerate an innocent man and sentence him to death. Somewhere along the line the mistake would have been uncovered...

But Sandburg had been sentenced and sent to death row. The governor had told him to give Sandburg a fair chance, but he had decided against it, too stubborn to try. Now he had to try and the rest of his team with him. What he had seen in his office today had changed his mind. Blair Sandburg deserved a second chance... and Major Crimes would give Blair that chance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Jim, I don't think we should do this... Why are we doing this? I can understand they'd want you there, you're part of the team now, but why me?" Blair's biggest fear was that this was some kind of cruel joke the Major Crimes gang was about to play on him. "Banks hates me, you told me yourself!" Balancing a load of pretzels, he watched Jim haul the soda with him. He was pretty sure that the gang would be drinking beer and he didn't want to risk getting intoxicated.

"Blair, calm down. I'm sure they wouldn't have invited you if they didn't want you there." Jim watched Blair with obvious concern, hoping this wouldn't cause another panic attack. "I'll be there at all times. I won't leave you alone."

"Promise? I mean, they're cops, Jim. They don't know... Don't know me the way you do." For one brief moment he wished he were back in his cell, which had been a safe place most of the time, but then he stopped himself. He never wanted to go back there. "And uh, Jim, I meant to tell you, but..."

Jim turned to face Blair after pressing the door bell. He could already hear them inside the house. "What?" The guilty look on Blair's face made him cautious. What had Blair gotten himself in to this time?

"I found a job. I can start part time at the small Italian restaurant just down Prospect Avenue. I'll be helping out in the kitchen, rinsing dishes and stuff."

Jim sighed. Damn it. He had hoped Blair would go back to Rainier and take up his studies again. "We'll talk about it later, okay? I can hear Joel coming to open the door."

"Sure, man..." He saw the disappointment in Jim's eyes, but he couldn't go back to Rainier or any other place where they knew his history. Attending this poker night already creeped him out.

"Hey, Jim!" Joel smiled at Jim and signaled him to step inside. Next he looked at Blair, saw the suspicion and trepidation in his eyes and added a soft, "Hello, Sandburg." They had been discussing Blair after Sentinel and guide had left the station and Simon had pulled Blair's file. They had spent the whole afternoon going through the file and the newly added information the governor gladly provided. By the time that they should be heading home, they realized they had been wrong. Blair had done his best to help David, the other Sentinel, but when David had lost his mind, Blair had gone down for the murders. Only Simon and he knew the whole story. They had told Rafe and H that Blair was innocent, providing convincing evidence, but leaving out the Sentinel matter. H and Rafe had also decided to give Blair a fair chance.

"Joel, where can I put this?" Jim pointed at the soda and pretzels.

Joel frowned. "Soda?"

"Blair doesn't drink alcohol." Jim shrugged.

"Oh, okay, put it in the living room." Joel closed the door behind him and caught Blair's startled expression, but he also caught Jim's reaction.

"Chief, it's okay... You're among friends."

The words were almost too soft for Joel to hear, but he managed to catch them. A frightening picture was starting to form in his mind. What had life been like for Blair Sandburg? An innocent on death row? He had been there for almost four years! Enough to drive a sane man mad!

Blair composed himself again, but he still felt shaky as they entered the living room, finding Simon, Rafe and H already dealing the cards.

"Sit down, guys," invited Simon. He couldn't help studying Sandburg. The kid felt obviously intimidated.

Blair stayed clear of the table after disposing of his load and scanned the pictures in Simon's living room. Apparently the man was a father.

"That's Darryl, my son. He's currently living with my ex-wife," Simon volunteered.

"Sorry, didn't mean to pry." Blair felt caught and wondered where he could go to make himself invisible. Coming here had been the wrong thing to do.

"Kid, sit down. The game's about to start." Simon pointed at the empty chair next to him. All others were seated by now.

Oh no, Simon couldn't be serious! Blair trembled slightly, desperately trying to hide his emotional state of mind. Jim would be sitting opposite him and he wanted the older man close.

"Come on, kid." Simon exhaled the smoke of his cigar and grinned. Sandburg was behaving exactly like plan. The poor kid was intimidated like hell and he even regretted putting that fear there. Maybe if he hadn't come on that strong during the first days Jim had been working with the gang, Blair would be acting differently. But he had made it very clear that he didn't approve of Sandburg living with Jim.

Hesitantly, Blair sat down. He felt unable to move, paralyzed. Why he was reacting like this puzzled him, but his mind had a will of his own and it refused to cooperate right now.

Rafe started to deal and Blair simply stared at the cards in front of him. The bidding started and he opted out without looking at his cards.

Jim, worried, wished they hadn't come after all. Blair looked like he was about to have a panic attack in front of everyone. Maybe he should announce they were leaving?

Joel sighed and exchanged a look with Simon. This wasn't working. They had to go for the direct approach, no matter how much he hated doing it. "You okay, Blair?"

Blair nodded absentmindedly. "Yeah."

Joel decided to go first. "You know, we're sorry."

That got Blair's attention. "Sorry?" He finally looked up to make eye contact with Joel.

"Sorry we judged you without knowing you. We only heard the name 'Manifesto Murderer' and we didn't look any further. We're sorry you spent those years on death row while being innocent." Joel saw Simon approvingly nod his head.

"Joel's right, kid." Simon took over. "We had a look at your file and the presented evidence; you obviously didn't kill anyone. The governor also provided us with some new information."

Oh man, the panic was getting stronger. He didn't want to talk about the murders, David or death row. He just wanted out of here. His pleading eyes locked with Jim, pleading him to leave, but the Sentinel didn't give in. "It's okay, guys," Blair managed in the end.

"No, it's not okay," said H. "We would like to make a fresh start."

Joel nodded once. "Yes. A new start with you."

Simon managed to catch Blair's elusive glance. "The governor originally asked me to allow you to be Jim's ride along. I refused, not wanting a convicted killer on my team, but now that I know the truth I changed my mind. You can ride along as a civilian observer. You won't make much money doing so, but at least you'll be close to Jim..."

Jim blinked. "Sir?"

Simon shrugged. "I studied the kid's file thoroughly, Jim. Maybe the kid can use the gathered information for his dissertation so he can finally get his master's? That was another surprise, by the way. I didn't know we had a genius on our hands."

Blair swallowed hard. "I'm not going back to Rainier."

"Oh, but you will," said Simon smugly. "I already contacted chancellor Edwards and she's willing to let you back in, as long as you work on that dissertation of yours. Seems like you were doing some valuable research before this fiasco happened."

Blair couldn't believe the things he was hearing. Chancellor Edwards hated his guts, always had! Banks must have pulled some strings to get him back in! Why would the man do that?

"You'll start tomorrow. Jim's got the night shift so I hope you have no trouble staying awake at night. Jim will inform you about his current case and by the way, the other detectives in Major Crimes might require your services once in a while. Having an anthropologist on the team might help them to solve some cases."

Blair finally regained control over his vocal chords. "Sir, it won't work."

Simon waved the comment away. "It'll work. We will make it work."

"You don't understand," whispered Blair upset.

"I think I do," replied Simon. "Let's give this a shot, kid. What do you have to lose?"

Simon was right. Blair sighed. He had nothing to lose. "I'll try."

"That's my boy..." said Simon smugly. "And now we'll play some cards. Rafe, beer, and don't forget the pretzels and... soda for the kid."

Blair cringed, but this time because he was included in this little family. He looked up, met Jim's eyes and smiled weakly. He had never really believed in getting a second chance, but Simon's acceptance seemed a miracle, one he would prove himself worthy of. After all these long years of being alone, he had finally found friends... and a lover.

The End.

September 2003

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