Title: The Girl: 1 of 4
Series: Frying Fannie
Authors: Ornery and Carra
Feedback: On list, please
Fandom: The Sentinel
Archive: Of course.
Conscript: Scribe/Fannie
Rating: R for possible language content on the part of our Conscript when she
sees this.
Disclaimer: Not ours, never were, except for the
Conscript and she's Jane's sister. We just borrowed them for a bit of fun. We
even cleaned them off before
I put them back! Honest! Here Blair did get his doctorate, and is
doing his post doc at
Carra's Notes:Jane
made me do it. Well, not really made me, she just snapped her fingers, and I
trotted along like a good, obedient little puppy, and wrote. This is my first
attempt at anything of this kind, so please, send feedback, but be kind.
Flamers will be hog-tied and sold to the nearest convenient Gypsies. ;)
Jane's Notes: Actually, I did what I usually do when I'm after a new vic. Caro knows all about my
techniques…don't you? So does Fannie, huh Sis? She said she can't write, and
just from off-list conversations with her I knew better. So I figured I'd
arrange to have her prove it to herself. Being unused to my hunting tactics,
she fell into my trap rather nicely.
As to potential Flamers…I hope you do realize I can and will rip you a
BRAND-NEW asshole in under fifteen seconds, and I'll
do it in PUBLIC so you can get the maximum value in utter and total humiliation
in the least possible time, right? Carra is nice. I'm
NOT. And I like it thusly.
The Girl
By Ornery and Carra
Blair sighed as he finished cleaning up from the meager breakfast the he and
Jim had shared. This was the tail end of a rare, whole weekend off for Jim, and
they had made the most of their time. Each morning when Jim had risen early, as
was his habit, Blair had coaxed him back to bed and they had spent all morning
making slow, passionate love to one another.
When it finally cam time for them to get something to eat on this Sunday, morning
had almost become afternoon, and they found that they had all of 2 eggs, 4
slices of bacon, 3 slices of bread and some cheese. They had made a decent, if
small meal out of the lot, but Jim still headed out the door soon after on a
mission to restock their cupboards. Blair smiled as he pictured his Sentinel on
a well planned food finding campaign.
The knock at the door startled him. He looked out the peep-hole to see Naomi
standing there. He opened the door, and his greeting almost died on his lips.
Naomi had company with her. Blair ushered them both in and invited them to sit
down in the living room. Then Naomi dropped her own version of a bombshell.
"Blair, sweetie, would you mind keeping your sister here? I going to a retreat in the
"My what?"
"Your sister. She's never liked the
Blair stared at the chattering female as though he'd never seen her before in
his life. A two-year-old sister?
"You never told me? Christ-on-Crutches, Mom!"
She just blinked at him, looking confused. Never having been able to deny his
mother much, Blair found himself watching his mother blow out the door again.
Little did he know it would be years before he saw her again.
With the agreement made, Fannie’s things were brought in and Naomi was gone in
a swirl of skirts and incense.
Closing the door behind his mother, Blair turned to see Fannie stretched out
the couch, almost asleep. Evidently traveling with Naomi when she was focused
on something was every bit as exhausting as Blair remembered it being. He
gently roused his sister, and walked her into the guest room/office, and helped
her lay out on the bed. He could not resist giving her a chaste kiss on the
forehead.
*
"You what?!?"
"Quiet Jim, you’ll wake our
guest!"
Not fifteen minutes after Naomi had blown out the door enroute
to the airport, Jim had arrived with what seemed like an endless load of
groceries. When Blair told him about their guest, Jim went from zero to stunned in 3 seconds flat.
At his Guide's admonishment, Jim got quieter, but was still clearly put out
"Are you nuts, Chief?" *pause* "Wait, don't answer that."
"It will only be until she gets back from the
"Your mom is one unique woman, Blair", Jim grumbled, then with a dramatic sigh said, "O.K., she's already
gone and the girl's already here. How hard can it be to keep her entertained
for a few days?" Then Jim froze and looked at his Guide in dread. "Of
course, she IS your sister."
*
Jim and Blair were just finishing up putting the mountain of groceries away
when a still sleepy Fannie began to wail.
His Sentinel stared at him in shock: Your sister is a BABY?
In his old room, his sister's mind had come on-line, and she started to cuss,
though the words weren't and so they came out as outrages screams. :I'm in diapers! I'm wearing a one-piece fleece suit with a
button-up bottom, with built in feet! I'm in a crib!" She looked up as a
shadow fell over her and screamed even louder in frustration.
:A damned near naked Blair Sandburg is about to change
my fucking diaper?:
Then she saw the bottle of formula in his hand and tried to run, but as she was
in a crib there wasn't really anywhere to go. She squalled again and turned
bright red with embarrassment when he tenderly grabbed her, laid her down,
stripped, cleaned, diapered, and re-dressed her with all the interest of a
rock. Then he picked her up and jammed the damned bottle in her mouth just as
she opened her mouth to screech.
:Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!:
--
Fannie woke up with a start, in unfamiliar surroundings. For a brief moment,
she panicked, and a moment later was pick up and held against a very buff,
almost hairless chest. The spike in her heart rate having
woken Jim. She didn't quite know what to do with herself. She had
dreamed about this on more than one occasion, but in her present condition, she
couldn't do anything about it. So she did what every toddler does when they are
frustrated. She wailed like a banshee.
//God-damn it, why do these things always have to happen to me?//
Jim sat down with her on the futon in what was Blair's
room, and tried to comfort her. Holding her close and petting her hair. Liking
the results she was getting with the crying, Fannie decided that a little
positive reinforcement was in order to keep Jim doing that. She quieted down,
sucked her thumb into her mouth, and looked up at Ellison through her eye
lashes.
//Interesting, I can see him melting already. I wonder how he's gonna react
when I get this new and unused tongue convinced it needs to be able to talk
long enough to explain what's happened?//
"Huh, well now I see *that* is a Sandburg family thing. Keep that up
little one, and there won't be much I can refuse you,' Jim cooed.
//Not even, Ellison. But I *do* know what'll bring you to heel, every time. God
knows I've re-arranged your life, often enough.// ^pause^ //Oh man, is this a
new twist on that or…or…shit. I ^have^ been in a similar situation haven't
I?"//
She scrunched up her nose and just screamed in frustration. Jim looked a bit startled, he hadn't sensed that one coming! He'd also
winced, though, then went slack-jawed. //Oh, nice going, girlfriend, shrieking him into
He let out a yelp from the kitchen, pelted into the room and took in the
problem at a glance. "Uh oh."
"Sorry I zhooned him." She mumbled
around her thumb.
"What baby?" He said absently as he worked Jim out of the Hearing
Zone she'd just caused.
She looked at him guiltily, and just as Blair got Jim out of the zone, she took
her thumb out of her mouth, and said clearly. "I'm sorry I yelled so loud
and made Ellison zone."
Both men started, then stared at her in shock. No two year old should be able to talk like that…those were the
tones and way of speaking that belonged to an adult.
"Oh God, what has Naomi gotten us into now?"
"Actually, it probably wasn't your mama's fault, but I'm still a
forty-five-year old woman stuck in the body of a two-year-old girl… and living
with two absolute HUNKS is going to drive me mad under the circumstances! Will
you two get out of here so I can get dressed?"
Fannie could not believe her bad luck had actually gone this far. She started
cursing every deity she could think of, alphabetically. LOUDLY.
As soon as the men had cleared out of Blair's old room.
She was starting to feel better until her litany took her to Strife. At that
point, she just prayed that he HAD to be the one responsible for this…since she
knew she had at least two people on her lists that HE was scared shitless
of…for good reason.
*
As Jim set about getting dressed, he head Blair on the
phone upstairs arranging for covers for his morning classes. They needed to
arrange some sort of daycare for Fannie, and Blair anticipated it taking a few
hours: And he just knew she was going to throw a fit. Hell, HE would have!
After a hurried, messy, tense breakfast, Blair, Jim and Fannie headed to their
vehicles. All seemed well, until Blair ushered Fannie toward the back seat of
his Volvo, and the waiting car seat. After a brief struggle, wherein Fannie took
every opportunity to feel both of them up, the two men finally got her strapped
into a carseat, and were on their way.
Blair caught Jim as he was pulling out of his spot, and called through his
rolled down window "We'll meet you at the station for lunch, man!"
"Can you handle her?"
"Hell if I know! Trust me, if I can't, I'll just yell. Literally.
She may not give me time for communication means considered 'human
normal'!"
"Good luck, Sandburg. I think you're going to need it."
"No shit, Sherlock!" Fannie yelled at him. "How the hell did you
say you made detective? In a box of Rice Crispies?"
--
"You are not seriously going to put me in daycare, are you?"
Blair sighed, this was going to be a tough sell.
"Fannie, I can’t take you to class with me, and I have to have you in a
safe place. It will only be until about noon. I only have 1 class to teach
today, since my morning classes were covered. Then we’ll go meet Jim at the
police station for lunch, I promise."
"Yeah, riiiiight".
--
After having filled out a mountain of paperwork, Blair left and eerily quiet
Fannie at the daycare center to go and teach his one remaining class. The next
hour found Blair in his usual teaching mode, walking up and down the room,
waving his arms everywhere, and keeping most of the girls and not a small
number of the boys enraptured by what Jim jokingly called "the Indiana
Jones Effect".
The day started quietly enough…until an obnoxious little boy at the next table
threw clay at her group and a big sticky pile of it landed in her paint with a
wet thud, splattering her face. Reflex made the already irritated Fannie turn
and pour a lidless quart bottle full of black paint over the boy's head,
covering him in fingerpaint. He squalled and tried to
throw more clay at her, so she dumped orange on him too, then grabbed the back
of his head and mashed him face first into his own play-dough.
The rest of the kids stared in shock, then all hell broke loose as the
clay-makers tried to get revenge on the finger-paints,
the two sides squaring off in a battle-royale.
Wielding safety scissors to cut hair from the heads of the clay-makers until
three of them held her down and cut off all of hers, whereupon she got really
mad. She pulled her table full of toddlers off to one side, had a quick huddle,
and then they attacked. A short time later, as the teachers were finally able
to restore order, it was discovered that all of the clay-makers had rough cut
hair and tie-dyed skin and clothes while the painters themselves were barely
touched. The director called
A few minutes before class was over, there was a knock at the door. A woman
Blair recognized as one of the Anthropology Department TAs burst through the
door. "Dr. Sandburg, the daycare center called, you need to come
NOW!" With shouted instructions to check their e-mail for their
assignments, Blair took off for his car, and the daycare center.
--
Blair did not know whether to laugh or cry at the sight the greeted him when he
walked into the toddler room. Most of the kids were covered either in flour, or
various colors of tempera paint, and a bald Fannie was standing on a stool,
presiding over the chaos with a pair of safety scissors in one hand, and a
bottle of blue tempera paint in the other. There were a couple of children that
had suspicious looking hair cuts, and more than their fair share of blue paint
on them.
The story Blair got was something to the effect of half the group painting, and
half the group playing with home-made play-dough. The play dough had gotten a
little sticky, so one of the workers had brought a sack of flour out to
sprinkle on it for the kinds to blend in. A particularly ill behaved child then
threw a chunk of dough into the middle of the painting group, and chaos erupted
from there.
According to the workers, Fannie had particularly well developed speech and
motor skills. And she had used those skills to get the kids on her team to
defeat the clay-makers before the teachers had a chance to make them stop.
All parents had been called and appraised of the
incident. They needed Blair because Fannie wasn’t letting anyone near her to
get the paint and scissors away from her.
He was told that Fannie was being expelled from that daycare center, and that,
due to the amount of damage she could cause in such a short time period, they
had notified all other daycare centers in the county, advising them not to
enroll her.
Rolling his eyes, Blair resigned himself to getting blue paint on his clothes
and approached Fannie.
"Fannie, put down the scissors and the paint, will you?" He said, as
he approached, palms up in a gesture of platitude.
"Well, it’s about time!" a huffy Fannie put down her
"weapons", crawled off the stool, grabbed one of Blair’s hands in her
paint-covered and sticky little paw, and marched out the door with him in tow.
The ride home was a little less eventful, evidently being trapped in a two year
old’s body meant that one was growing so fast one
needed nap time. After a token resistance to being put in the car seat, Fannie
dropped off. She woke up she felt the car seat being when she unbuckled.
Blair gave a low chuckle, and with a smile on his face took Fannie up to get
changed. He couldn’t wait to bring the girl to up to Major Crimes covered in fingerpaint. "Well, I hope you're happy: You've been
expelled and every other daycare in town has been warned off. I guess that
means Jim's on desk duty for a while, since we're going to have to keep you
with us. He's not going to be
happy. Maybe he can get you in to the PD's employee daycare instead." He
didn't like the little smirk growing on the toddler's face as he carried her
into the elevator.
She waited until the doors were opening up on the seventh floor to introduce
the next bombshell. At that point, with the smirk becoming an evil grin she
looked up at Sandburg and said,
"Were you aware that before this happened I was a
fanfic writer known as Scribe on the net?"
He went dead still, staring at her. He'd read her fic…had
her bookmarked, in fact. In a slightly shaking voice he answered her…"Ah,
would, oh hell. This is a, uh….interesting development. This is getting weirder
by the second."
"You think that's bad? Either keep me out of the
damned daycare, or I'll steal your laptop. And add things to it you don't
really want to know about. And I'll ask Jane to help me."
Blair paled just as he carried her into Major Crimes…he knew that name, too.
"Ah, she wouldn't show up, here, would she?"
"You better hope not."
He winced, walked over to Jim and dropped her into his Sentinel's lap, still
covered in goo. "Explain it to Jim while he gets
you bathed and cleaned up…to his standards." He called back, heading for
the men's showers.
"No fair, Sandburg!" She yelled, stunning the bullpen. "You know
what that does!"
Jim turned bright red and scowled at her at the same time which made for an
interesting expression.
His co-workers stared and Simon had a thunderous look on his face. She glared
right back at him as he started to open his mouth.
"Oh shut the fuck up, Banks!" Fannie snapped. "I'm a forty-plus
year old woman currently trapped in a two-year-old's
body…never mind how. It'll take a while to fix."
Bewildered, Simon stared at Ellison and said, "Did she just tell me
to…"
"Yeah, she did."
"And she's really a…"
"Yeah, she is."
Finally pushed beyond what his mind could handle, Simon fainted.
****
"Simon...Are you alright? C'mon captain, wake
up!" Jim pleaded with his Captain to return to the world of the
functional.
"Wah?" Simon
snapped back to awareness with one question on his mind, "Jim, what the hell
is going on here?"
"I don't understand it entirely myself, sir, but
we'll will explain what little we can after we get Fannie cleaned up a little.
She's getting blue paint on everything...oh no...."
Jim stared in horror at what she had just done to the glass on Simon's door. "ARGH! Rafe, will you
*please* wipe that 'painting' off of Simon's door *before* he sees it? Do it now, while I get her cleaned up!"
After staring at the "painting" in question which was a whimsical
rendition of two entwined, and very male, lovers in blue finger paint, Rafe rushed to the custodial closet to get the necessary
cleaning supplies.
(And if anyone noticed that it took a little longer than strictly necessary,
they were tactful enough not to say anything.)
Meanwhile, in the locker room....
"Chief, stand guard at the door. I don't think anything short of a complete hosing off is going to get this girl clean."
"Sure, just let me get my shirt...Fannie, don't look at me like that. That is just so many kinds of wrong; I don't know where to start. GAH!"Blair put his shirt back on quickly, and made a hasty retreat.
While cranking up for another beautiful, 2 year old body inspired tantrum, Jim grabbed Fannie and started peeling paint encrusted clothing off of her. She put up a hell of a fight, and it took Jim nearly 20 minutes to get her stripped and into the shower. Twenty more to get her clean, and only 15 second to yell, "Sandburg, bring her chance of clothes in here now!"
"If I have to strip, you have to strip Ellison. It's only fair." Fannie looked up at Jim in a rather predatory fashion.
"Oh, I don't think so, little girl, I have a change of clothes here, so these can just stay wet."
"Watch the "Little Girl" talk, Ellison. I *did* warn you..." Then she stuck her small hand between his legs and copped a good, long feel, which made him yelp, jump backward, slip and land flat on his back.
"SANDBURG!" Jim bellowed as the back of his head made contact with the cement floor. The next instant he yodeled in distress as he was 'palmed' and deliberately stroked. He zoned instantly, in pure shock. By the time Blair made it back in there, Fannie was seated (Both clean and dressed) next to Jim's head, seemingly worried. Seeing the zone, Blair thought little of the slight smirk on the kid's face.
"Look, Fannie, I think I know how you got age reverted, and I'm pretty sure what I did while I was gone will age you, some, within the next hour or so. And no, The Toad Suck Rite is not one I'm going to teach you, so don't ask." He paused to look at his still somewhat dazed Sentinel. "You okay, Jim? You're too pale...and why are you staring at Fannie like *that?*"
Blair looked hard at Fannie trying to determine what was holding his Sentinels attention, when through squinted eyes, he noticed her clothes were noticeably tighter, and too short. She was growing, and FAST!
"What gives guys, why are you looking at...AAAAAAAAAARGH!" Fannie grabbed her head in agony and crumpled to the floor in a heap. Jim was instantly at her side, checking her vitals. Blair was out the locker room door like a shot in search of a blanket they could cover the quickly growing girl with. By the time he returned, she had gone from having the body of a two year old to having that of a 5 or 6 year old child. Jim had stripped her of the now too small clothing a bundled her up in a PD sweatshirt that went down past her knees.
Wrapping her in the blanket, and cradling her carefully, Jim hurried to his truck with Blair in tow. Once settled in, Fannie on Blair's lap, Jim quickly drove them home, just barely resisting the temptation to use his siren to get them home faster.
The jolt from the truck stopping brought Fannie around. She quickly assessed her situation, next to no clothing on, on Blair's lap...:
*WOWZA!*
She notified Blair of her return to consciousness by giving him one hell of a grope (actually getting her hands on something *important* this time) causing him to hiss.
Jim growled, "Not *now*, Little Girl!" The tone of Jim's voice never HAD managed to keep Fannie well behaved all the way through the elevator ride, and into the loft: but he prayed for an exception to that rule.
God told Jim "No" apparently as she continued to reached out and pinch, rub and otherwise torment *both* of the big, beautiful men she was now sandwiched between. That earned her another yelp from Blair and another wistful sigh from Jim: He was thinking wistfully of the good old days when the only dangers he and his Guide had to worry about were guys like Bracket, serial killers and the occasional homicidal maniac with a lust for monty, gold and nerve gas.
"*Fannie!* Will you stop trying to feel us up and over?! Listen damn it! We need to figure out what the hell is going *on* with you, and how fast it is going to progress. You just ages 3 years in 10 minutes!" Blair ground out, more than a little embarrassed by his "little *sister's*" obvious lusts.
"I don't think so, Sweetcheeks." She said. "At this rate, in about another few minutes I'll progress to the equivelant of at least a third-grader. I'm a red-neck ya know! We get started just a mite *earlier* than city-slickers do."
Just then a real and actual parchment SCROLL popped into mid-air and unrolled.
FANNIE!
Just grab Blair's laptop and show him THIS site. It will save time for all of you. And Blair, she's GOING to get you, I can PROMISE you that. Actually, she already has, but that's on another timeline, and in an entirely different story.
And tell Jim not to wish for maniacal females...or *I* might just show up one of these days, and drag carra with me. Fannie I believe can give you chapter and verse on what happened the *last* time I pulled THAT stunt.
-Jane-
"GAH! I'LL get online, but Jim YOU are going *shopping*, we need to get clothes that will fit her. Can you go and get something, ANYTHING… Wait, make is something frilly. From Dillards. Something in a BRIGHT NEON PINK." Blair replied with an evil glint in his eye.
Jim, knowing when to make good an escape, all but ran for the door.
"O.K. Sandburg, just what the Hell is, ARG! SHIT! Not again!" Fannie stumbled to the wall and slid down it, "Hell at least it doesn't last long." Then she wound into a ball as more growth pains wracked her body. Before his eyes, Blair saw her morph into a 10 year old girl.
This happened twice while Jim was still in the mall. Eventually jane and Carra dropped another scroll on her head...:
"Relax, we're done. You're a full functioning female set at 16 physical years, but built like a brick shithouse. Tell Jim to get you a 38 DDDD bra. You'll need it."
(I Promise !!!)
Once the tremors wracking Fannie's body subsided, and Blair was sure she was stable, for the moment, he called Jim and told him to get clothes to fit a 16-year-old, Blair went to his old room a got a pair of little worn sweat pants for the now considerably taller Fannie. They would still be a bit big, but she needed to cover up with SOMETHING.
Not that she let him cover her with anything. The rapid growth spurt had put her "Reproductive Hormones" in overdrive.
Fannie threw the pants across the room with a snigger "Hey Blair, isn't it about time these pants ever got some action?"
Blair looked at her, eyebrow raised, and replied, "Don't you think we have more important things to think about than that, Little Girl?"
He knew the hated nickname was worth a shot to get Fannie's to stop any further discussion of his pants OR their track record. Which wasn't all that good, actually.
She just grinned at him evilly. "We can always start without him, hell, put THAT many of *those* hormones all over the loft, and he'll just yell, dive and aim waaaaay before his brain even considers butting in. The only question is, who gets to be on top at the time? Because, I promise you, those two females out there are much more than just a little bit crazy. Actually, they think Insanity is a Preformance Art...."
At that Blair's eyes bugged, and he tried to casually put as much furniture between his body and Fannie, who at this point was looking more than a little dangerous, as possible. Unfortunately for Blair, keeping both eyes on Fannie meant not keeping an eye on where he was going. He realized his fatal tactical error when all at once he felt the wall at his back, and Fannie at his front burrowing through his 'protective' layers of flannel.
Trying desperately to find an appropriate spot of push Fannie back, Blair tried to protest Fannie's advances. Instead what he got was Fannie's delivery of a brain melting kiss.
It was at that moment that Jim burst through the front door, nostrils flared and eyes dilated as he tried to make sense of what was happening in his living room. His body started responding to the stimuli in the air and he haltingly staggered to where Blair was still 'trying' to struggle free from Fannie's grasp.
At the first opportunity, Blair managed a strangled “Jim”, which set off Jim's protective instincts and he jumped to the rescue. He grabbed Fannie around the waist and hauled her off his Guide, whereupon she turned in his grip to plaster herself against him instead. (With these two, she wasn't really all that picky as to who she nailed first, after all.) Fannie rewarded Jim's efforts to turn her back around and dislodge her, by grinding her ass solidly against his groin. Jim moaned and his cock to swell as he was hit with a new barrage of pheromones.
At that point, Jim was well nigh helpless and Blair wasn't in much better shape: Linked as they were through the Sentinel/Guide bond, Blair's body responded to Jim's arousal. A new wave of pheromones, this time Blair's, hit Jim full on and he all but yanked Fannie across the floor in an effort to get to his Guide.
This time, Blair was more than willing to accept being pushed against the wall, groped and kissed into submission:Two pairs of hands and two sets of lips were more than he could handle.
“Shit, this is hot!” Fannie breathed. Jim and Blair startled at her voice, and two pairs of blue eyes regarded Fannie. The primal side of Jim's brain had all but taken over, and he made an attempt to reach for Fannie and Blair pulled him back, wiggled around to press his rump to Jim's crotch and humped backward.
“Jim, man, me first.…”
“But…” Fannie whined
“NO! I'm winning this one, damn it! Jim! I'll nail her, YOU nail me....”
END PART 6