Situations

Author: Roy's Lady 51

Fandom: The Sentinel

Pairing: Jim/Blair

Rating: NC-17, eventually: Just not in this part.

Series? : Not Likely

Summary: AU but not as far into left field as MOST of mine are! Partner betrayal. Pre-slash. Angst.

Spoiler: Post TS2P2

Disclaimer: Author has not benefited with any kind of financial income for the writing of this or any other story for this or any other fandom, or the use of this or any other lyrics, or the use of these or any other characters: And I am not, have never been and shall never be a pet FLY for anybody!

<<blows out cheeks as runs out of breath, takes another deep one and : >>

Not owned by the author. Aside from which, since the author is on full S.S.I. disability, and qualifies for FOODSTAMPS, how much could a suer possibly hope to get from the suee, especially since BOTH are non-transferable?

Situations

by Roy's Lady 51

~What do I got to do to make you love me?~
~What do I got to do to make you care?~

Though he kept his mouth tightly clamped against the harsh surges of emotion, Blair's full lips quivered slightly. His blue eyes were full of unshed tears, and his throat ached from the effort not to scream. He could see them down the beach, in a full lip-lock. There was no more doubt of his place, or rather the lack of one, in Jim's life. The only human being that Blair had ever been foolish enough to trust was engaged in a deep French kiss with Blair's murderess.

His Sentinel, and a *cop* at that, was making out with the woman who had drowned Blair only days before.

A low moan of mortal anguish escaped the tight control Sandburg had on himself: He saw Jim's head lift, saw him stare at his sickened, suffering Guide, then return to what he'd been doing.


~What do I do when lightening strikes me~
~And I wake to find that that you're not there?~

He had one chance, one shot: Simon thought as he aimed to wing the rogue female sentinel. He fired, saw her drop, roll, and lay unmoving outside the Temple. Sandburg had not been seen in days, not since the beach. He had simply given up and walked away.

Banks shuddered as he recalled the dull, lifeless eyes in the young man's face. He shuddered again when he recalled Blair's voice.

"It's over, Simon. All of it, here's that expired pass: I won't need it anymore. Jim's...never mind." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I won't be returning to Cascade. Tell...him; have a good life." He'd shaken Bank's hand, and hugged Megan, and had then just disappeared.


~What have I got to do to make you want me?~
~What have I got to do to be heard~

"Gone? How the hell can he just walk away? Which way did he go?" Jim snapped at Conner when she told him that Blair had left.

"You motherfucker!" She snarled at him, "Why wouldn't he? Why wouldn't anyone?" Her voice dripped venom at him. "He died for your sake, you moron! Then he literally got up from his deathbed to follow you down here to make sure you were safe while you dealt with that bitch."

Tears hung on Conner's lashes as she screamed at Jim, "He saw you with her on that beach, damn you! He said you looked at him and then went right on kissing that cunt! Oh you dealt well with her, didn't you Ellison?" Megan asked caustically. "Did you know that you were the only human being that Blair's ever allowed himself to trust in his life?"

She saw his horrified flinch and nodded grimly. "Including his mother, I might add. He loves her, he loves alot of people, but he never trusted anyone, until you. I hope you're happy, Yank. Was she worth it?"

Megan paused to look at Jim like he was some kind of slimey little insect. "As for me, I'll never work on the same shift with *you* again, I promise you *that*. You just bloody well proved that a body cannot trust you to watch their back, now can they?"

She snarled angrily, "Poor Sandy! Do you really think he, that anyone would have stuck with someone through as much shit, and pain as he has for you if Blair didn't love you? Oh God, you're so stupid!" Megan stunned him again by slapping the shit out the big cop, and marching angrily toward the hotel.


~It's sad (so sad)~
~It's a sad, sad situation~
~And it's getting more and more absurd.~


Blair had walked for days, always heading deeper into the rainforest. He was past thought, past memory. He nibbled on a wide assortment of leaves and berries, hoping he would eat *something* poisonous, and kept going. He drank stagnant water, and had the trots from it, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

His clothes were ripped and tattered, his feet bare and bleeding, his arms and legs deeply scratched and dotted here and there with puncture wounds. He felt none of it. He was totally unaware of the fact he had a fever, and would not have cared it he had been. Blair was a man without hope or love, a man who no longer cared what happened, either to himself or to anyone else since his place in the world was gone.

He was a man looking for a place to die.

Jim was getting closer, the trail was fresh; but what a trail! His heart ached at the pus-filled, bloody, slimy thing he followed. Liquid feces pointed the way, as had bits of Blair's clothes, the pieces of his shoes long abandoned, long, thin strips of flesh from Blair himself, and now and then a swathe of hair that had been caught on a bush or in a tangle of thorns and which had been cruelly ripped away. He saw signs where Blair had fed, knew where he had drank, and was terrified for Sandburg. He knew sanity was quite gone from his Guide at this point. Ellison also knew he needed to find his partner, fast.


~It's sad, (so sad)~
~Why can't we talk it over?~
~Oh, it seems to me~

~That 'sorry' seems to be the hardest word.~

He found him, slowly stumbling through the edges of a swamp, ignoring it's dangers as unimportant. He finally caught up, grasped Blair's alarmingly thin upper arm and turned the Guide to face him, halting his forward motion.

"Chief?" Jim questioned, then hissed in open horror as he saw the wreck that Sandburg had become. "Oh no, no, oh God no, what have I done?"

His whisper brought no response, and the other man didn't seem to even know he was there. "Jesus, Chief, come on, Blair. Let's get you cleaned up. Then I'll get you to a hospital. Christ, you can't weight more than sixty pounds!" He said softly as he gently lifted the other man into his arms

Tears flowed freely down the Sentinel's cheeks as he carried Sandburg to a cleaner area to dress and bind wounds that Blair still took no notice of, then got clothes out of the backpack he had carried, on his battered Guide.

He cried harder when Blair finally began to respond to his nearness. He wretchedly clung to Jim and , plucked weakly at his shirt.. Low, pleading whimpers begged Jim not to abandon him.

"Don't do it, Jim. Don't leave me."

"Oh God, Chief. No, I'm not going anywhere, I won't leave. No, I'm here. I'm with you. I've got you."


~"What do I got to do to make you love me?"~

"Oh shit, Sandburg! I do love you!" Jim cradled the suffering man against his hard-muscled body.

~What do I have to do to be heard?"~

"Oh man, I'm listening, I'm finally listening, love. Oh Jesus, what I have I done to you, baby?"

He had always, Jim mused bitterly, thought Elton John had a way of summing things up nicely, but hearing the words to this one from Blair in a keening way, as he tried to apologize to for what wasn't even his fault, was killing Jim.


END PART 1