Fic: Reminders 5
Author: Selena
Fandom: Sentinel
email: kennedy_bowman@yahoo.co.uk
Disclaimer: I don't own either of them
Reminders 5
By Selena
“Hi Jim”
“Hi Sandburg . . . . Blair . . . . . . Chief”
“So?”
“Yeah”
“Um”
“I’m sorry”
“Yeah, me too.”
“No, Chief. I’m really sorry. I know no apology can make up for the last three years, but I want to try.”
“Jim, man what happened? I don’t understand.”
“You left me.”
“You pushed me away. Did you really think I was going to hang around where I clearly wasn’t wanted?”
“I wanted you to stay.”
“Well you didn’t act like you did. Jim, I’m not a mind reader. I don’t know what the hell is going on in that big dumb head of yours unless you tell me!”
“I’m sorry”
“I don’t know if that’s good enough.”
“Do you want me to beg? I will get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness. Will that make you happy?”
“No”
“Then what will? What do I have to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“. . . . . . . .I couldn’t find you . . . . . . . I looked, but it was like you had vanished of the face of the earth.”
“Yeah, I wanted to get away, be completely alone, I needed to process. You didn’t need me any you made that clear.”
“That’s not true.”
“Well that is how it looked from my end. Mr. big strong cop doesn’t need to rely on anyone else. Man, after the diss debacle I thought we were back on track. Partners again. But you still pushed me away.”
“You didn’t want to be my partner.’
“I didn’t want to be a cop. I still wanted to be your partner.”
“Blair. . I. . “
“Save it, Jim. I was just a safety net for you. A restart button in case you crashed and you resented that.”
“No.”
“Yes”
“God, Blair. I’m so sorry”
“Stop apologizing”
“Sorry”
“Jim!”
“I don’t know what else to say, Blair. I was an asshole. I was wrong. Sure I was used to having you around, and yeah in the beginning you were kind of annoying . . . “
“Hey. . . “
“Let me finish. I know I pushed you away a few times.”
“A few?”
“Well, yes anyway. I was scared. You may be the expert on Sentinels, but you have no idea what it is like. And there you were with all the answers. I couldn’t help myself; you had to do it for me. And yeah, I did resent that. So I pushed, but you stayed. So I pushed harder. Then one day you were really gone. And there was this hole, suddenly I felt lost. I may have been doing ok with my senses; I have got a handle on this now. I learnt to live without you, I had to. But . . . I . . .”
“What Jim?”
“I missed you”
“Jim”
“I used to think that you would come walking back into the loft, laughing and talking like you had never left. I waited everyday, but you never came back. Dammit, Chief I have been miserable.”
“Jim I didn’t realize”
“That’s is because I never told you. You were always my best friend, I just never realized until you weren’t there anymore. I felt empty.”
“Wow.”
“I wanted to tell you, to say sorry, but I couldn’t find you. Then as the years went on I lost all hope.”
“I was so afraid when you pushed me away, I thought it was something that I had done wrong. I thought I was not good enough. I thought that when I left it would be for the best. I tried to move on, but every time I got ahead. . I . . . don’t know. I thought I had gotten rid of everything to do with you, with here, everything. Then I found this.”
“Hey that’s the cop of the year party.”
“Don’t we look happy?”
“Like nothing could come between us”
“Except . . . “
“But we got through that. Like we did everything. Then I had to go and be the worlds biggest jerk.”
“Hey no arguments there”
“Watch it”
“If the shoe fits, man”
“Come home, Blair”
“Oh, man. I don’t know. It’s bee a hell of a long time. I can’t just move back into my old room and be your guide again. Too much water, you know?”
“Yeah, sorry. . . . . Can’t we work something out? Please? I miss my guide, dammit, I miss my friend.”
“I guess”
“Do you want a beer?”
“Yeah that would be great”
“You had better come in then”
“That would help”
“Chief?”
“Yeah, Jim”
“Remind me never to make you leave again.”
“Will do, big guy”
END