Title: Reincarnation

Author: Scorpio

Archive: Yes to all.

Fandom: The Sentinel

Pairing: Jim/Blair (non-slashy)

Rating: R DEATH STORY!!!

Series: possibly,... we'll see how this goes.

Catagory: Drama/AU

Warning: DEATH STORY! mystism (sp?), AU, angst, spoilers (sorta) for S2.

Note: This story begins at the ending of S2 and then takes a major left turn from canon into the Scorpio-Zone. Very strange is a mild way to describe it. While reincarnation is a tenant of some religions and considered impossible by others, I have simply not touched on any of those facets and have chosen to go with pure make-believe. Still, if the consept is offensive to you, you might want to skip this one.

Disclaimer. I don't own anything Sentinel. The characters all belong to Pet Fly Productions. No infringement is intended.

Summary: After Blair is drowned in the fountain, he returns to his Sentinel in the only way he can...

by Scorpio

The whole world ground down to a complete, jarring halt. Everything stopped cold. The steady soothing rhythm that acted as the cornerstone for his entire universe was horrifyingly silent. He strained his hearing to it's absolute limit. Silence. Awful, all consuming, unforgiving silence.

Howling, raging, denial burst from within his soul and out of his mouth in the form of a primal scream of loss.

"Blair! No!"

Pushing and shoving faceless people out of his way, Jim rushed to the water soaked body of his Guide. With the need to protect and defend boiling in his brain, his senses all soared off of the charts. They were all intently focused on the lifeless body lying on the cold hard ground before him.

No warmth. No breath. No pulse. No heartbeat.

Reaching further and further, straining harder and harder to find some sign of life within Blair, Jim slid headlong into a profound zone-out. He had zoned on not one of his senses, but all five. Yet he still searched...

A strange sourceless blue light illuminated the forest which formed magically around him. Looking about, he realized that he knew this place. It was a trail he had hiked before with Blair. He was in the National Forest. Jim remembered that Blair hadn't wanted to leave. He said that he felt as if he had come home.

Jim felt a strange sensation deep in his chest. Reaching out with one hand to brace himself against a tree, the Sentinel was inflicted with an odd sense of separation. With a lurch, a giant black jaguar leaped out of his body to land gracefully on the trail beside him. The cat looked him straight in the eye and Jim could see the loss and pain of his own soul reflected in that steady gaze.

(Come Enqueri.)

The disembodied voice echoed hollowly, but Jim never even considered ignoring it. When the jaguar turned and loped off through the underbrush, Jim followed.

After ten minutes of breaking trail through the northern wilderness, the big jungle can came to a silent stop. Jim rushed up behind it and focused his senses in the direction the sleek jaguar was looking. He gasped in both shock and relief.

Blair...

His Guide stood beneath a large pine tree, the fingers of his left hand running through the thick fur of a large gray wolf. A look of such infinite sadness marred his gentle features that Jim felt as if his heart were breaking.

Slowly, Jim began walking towards Blair, one hand extended out to him. Just as slowly, Blair moved towards him as well. Seconds before their hands could touch, bright blue sparks of energy sizzled between them, defining an invisible wall. They both flinched back.

A sense of horror descended over him as he realized that his best friend and Guide was trapped on the other side of the Great Barrier. Jim was on the side called Life and Blair was on the side called Death.

With an animal cry of denial, Jim began to pound and push against the mystical barrier. Cascades of blue sparks showered him with every contact. He began to get frantic in his need for his Guide. He was desperate to say that he was sorry, to tell Blair that he *was* wanted, needed,... loved.

Suddenly, the great black jaguar at his side roared fiercely and the big wolf next to Blair howled a dirge. Startled, Jim stopped beating on the wall of energy and stared at the two spirit animals. Slowly, the jaguar morphed into the form of an ancient Chopec Sentinel and the wolf morphed into the form of an ancient Choctaw Medicine Man.

Jim could see Blair and the Medicine Man talking, but he couldn't hear what was said. Even Sentinel hearing couldn't pierce the veil of death.

(Enqueri.)

Jim's head snapped around to look at the Chopec Sentinel.

(What is a Sentinel's duty to his Guide?)

"To protect."

The ancient Sentinel nodded gravely.

(Do you always protect your loved ones by throwing them in the path of your enemies?)

Jim let loose a strangled cry and a stricken look crossed his face. It *was* his fault. Blair was dead because of him. His stubborn pride and lack of trust had killed his Guide. A single tear traced a line of sorrow and regret across his face.

(What is a Sentinel's duty to his Guide?)

"To protect."

(That is a Sentinel's duty to the whole tribe. What is his duty to the Guide?)

"To... learn."

(What is a Sentinel's duty to the Guide?)

"To... follow,... to obey."

Jim watched with a heavy heart as the Chopec Sentinel morphed into the black jaguar once again. The big cat bunched his muscles and the tip of his tail flicked twice. Suddenly, he leaped through the Great Barrier. Jim felt an odd echo of tingles down his body as the great cat passed through the blue energy field. With his physical Guide and his spirit-guide on the other side, Jim felt oddly disconnected and unreal.

With a growing sense of urgency, Jim was witness as Blair and the Choctaw Medicine Man merged into one single being and then morphed into the large gray wolf. The black cat padded over and rubbed his cheek along the furred ruff of the wolf's neck as it gently nuzzled the jaguar's delicate ear. At some signal that Jim didn't recognize, they both turned to look at him, jeweled eyes unblinking.

Moving as one, the wolf and the jaguar walked through the Great Barrier in a shimmer of blue light. Jim barely had the chance to register that Blair was now on his side of the Barrier when the big black jaguar crouched down and leaped back into his chest. Jim staggered from the impact and fell to his knees. A nauseating wave of dizziness washed over him and the wolf stepped forward into Jim's personal space as if to give comfort and support.

As Jim reached out and touched the wolf, the world began to waver and dissolve. He became aware of a heavy hand on his shoulder and general activity and movement around him. With a gasp of air, Jim came out of his deep zone-out.

"Jim! Jim, he's gone. There's nothing we can do."

Jim shook off Simon's hand and resolutely ignored his words. His attention was focused on the still body of his Guide and the spirit-wolf who hovered over him. He watched as the wolf tried to leap into Blair's body. Once again, Jim saw the blue sparks of spiritual energy that formed the Great Barrier between Life and Death. With a sense of horrified awe, Jim looked on as the gray wolf tumbled to the ground. A shiver worked it's way along the furred body as it let out a frightened whine.

Pulling itself back up, the wolf tried to enter Blair's drowned body again. Once more he was thwarted. The Barrier between his Guide's life and his death had grown too strong.

(Enqueri.)

The disembodied voice echoed in his head.

"Yes."

(The body of the Guide is beyond repair.)

"Please no. Please... I'll do anything. Give up anything for him. I *need* my Guide."

(Is it only need Enqueri?)

"I... I... I need Blair. I can't survive without him. Please."

(And the Guide? Why should he make sacrifices to come back to you?)

"Please. I need him."

(Need?)

"I... I... I love him."

The strange hollow echo that accompanied the voice of his spirit-guide faded from his mind. Jim looked up just in time to see Blair's spirit-wolf run towards him and leap into his chest. The impact slammed him backwards into someone.

Dazed and slightly dizzy, Jim leaned into the warm strength behind him. Large, gentle hands steadied him and some small portion of his mind recognized that it was Simon who held him as his senses twisted out of control into a kaleidoscope of sensation.

Using Simon as leverage, Jim clawed his way back up to his feet, staggered a few steps away from Blair's corpse, then fell. His knees slamming onto the ground, Jim bent over double and succumbed to the disorienting waves of nausea assaulting him. Just as his stomach began to feel as if it had finally emptied itself, Jim felt Simon's big hand gently grip his shoulder and a damp cloth was pressed into his shaking hand. Slowly wiping down his sweat soaked face, Jim felt his spiraling senses begin to calm down.

//Jim. Jim. Hear my voice, Jim. You have to get a hold of your dials. Steady them out, then dial them down to normal.//

Jim flinched slightly as his Guide's soothing voice whispered inside his head. Exerting his iron will, he carefully adjusted his dials following Blair's telepathic suggestions. Once they were set at normal and locked down tight, Jim began to turn them outwards.

The world echoed. That's the only way Jim could think of to describe it. His vision was oddly doubled and the voices of the people around him echoed faintly. All of his senses were acting bizarre as if a ghostly image, exact in all details was overlaid against everything and everyone. Sudden understanding dawned and he realized that the sharper, clearer sensations were his Sentinel senses. The hazy fuzzy ones were... Blair's!

Blair's spirit was *inside* him!

With crystal clarity, he knew what it was he was supposed to do. He recognized the choice Blair had made, a sacrifice willingly chosen. He could hear the never-ending churning of Blair's thoughts within his own mind even though true understanding eluded him. One thing he was *absolutely* certain of was Blair's love for him. Blair's love was total and unconditional. It was a warm and golden glow shining deep within him.

Awkwardly, Jim climbed to his feet again. Turning, he grabbed hold of Simon and lurched in the direction of his truck.

"Jim?"

"Simon, I... I *need* to get up to the forest. The National Forest. Now."

Simon tried to gently restrain him, but Jim tugged on the bigger man's arm and pulled him along.

"Come on Simon. Hurry."

"Jim... Wait Jim. You're in shock."

"No!"

Simon dug his heels in at Jim's denial. He looked towards his friend and Captain, at a loss as to how he could explain. He was sure he looked as wild-eyed and off balance as he felt.

"Look, Sir. I,... It's a Sentinel thing. I,... I *have* to go to the forest. I have to go there... for Blair."

Jim looked into Simons eyes, searchingly, pleading for understanding.

"Please, Simon. Come with me. I,... I don't know if I can even drive right now. My senses... they are... I can't describe it. Please."

Jim watched Simon's internal battle being reflected in his eyes. He saw the exact second that Simon capitulated. Finally, the big man lowered his head and sighed.

"Okay Jim. I'll go with you."

With a sigh of relief, Jim turned back to head to his truck and saw something so horrifying that it caused him to stop right in his tracks. The coroner was zipping up the body bag around Blair. Neither he, nor the spirit of his Guide, which was currently residing in his head, was prepared for that sight. Jim swayed dizzily at the force of both his and Blair's emotions.

Suddenly, strong arms came up around his shoulders and steered him away. Simon's deep voice murmured in his ear, but he had no idea what the big man said. Numbly, he climbed into the passenger side of Simons car.

The ride to the National Forest was silent except for a few soft spoken directions to Simon so he would find the correct parking area. Of course, that was on the outside of Jim's head. On the inside, Blair was talking to Jim, explaining his actions with Alex Barnes. His voice was the same deep soothing tones Jim was used to hearing. The inflections were just as Jim remembered from hundreds of conversations. Hell, he could even imagine the sweeping hand gestures that would have normally accompanied this speech. However, Jim was not aware of the tears running freely down his cheeks as he felt and shared Blairs pain and fear.

Jim didn't even notice the gravel under Simon's tires until the big Police Captain pulled his car to a stop at the head of the hiking trail. As soon as the vehicle stopped, Jim flung open the door and jumped out. He had a vague sense of Simon following him and asking him questions, but he was too intent on Blair's voice in his head guiding him to his destination.

A feeling of urgency descended upon him and he began to hurry. Half running along the trail, he came to the spot where his vision had begun. Leaping off the trail, he broke through the brush with the grace and power of his spirit-jaguar and the sure knowledge of the terrain carried by Blairs spirit-wolf. Cursing, Simon stumbled and floundered behind him.

Suddenly, Jim came upon the pine tree that Blair had been leaning against in his vision. A sense of desperation came over him and he automatically opened his blurred senses wider. Searching... Looking... Listening...

There!

"Simon! Over here."

Jim scrambled around the far side of the tree with Simon right behind him. Pushing back the lower branches of a thorny bush, Jim saw them. The cold dead body of a female wolf and the small whimpering form of her newborn pup.

"My God Jim, that pup is barely a few hours old!"

Tentatively, Jim reached out and gently ran one fingertip along the tiny pup's brow ridge. An odd sense of separation and loss washed over him seconds before the spirit-wolf leaped back out of his chest. Wide-eyed with awe, Jim watched as the spirit-wolf morphed into a shimmering vision of Blair.

//A Guide never leaves his Sentinel, Jim. You are *my* Sentinel.//

Jim basked in the beauty of Blair's blinding smile. He could feel the love radiating from his Guides spirit. Once again, Blair morphed back into the wolf. Golden eyes held his for a moment, then the spirit-wolf leaped into the body of the infant wolf pup.

With a soft cry, Jim quickly pulled off his jacket and laid it on the ground. Ignoring the slight tremble in his hands, Jim picked up the tiny wolf pup and wrapped it into the soft warm fabric. Carefully lifting the small bundle, he cradled it against his chest. Little mewling sounds caressed his ears.

"Shhh... Chief. I've got you. Don't worry. I'll take care of you. Shhh..."

He reached one finger in and rubbed under Blair's furry chin. Jim's hand dwarfed the newborn pup's head.

"Ahh... I don't know if this is such a good idea Jim."

Jim turned to face Simon. All his emotional barriers were down and he didn't even try to put on a stoic mask. He let everything show on his face.

"Simon. I,... I can't explain it, but,... I *have* to keep this pup. Blairs spirit wants me to have it... as my Guide. I *know* it sounds crazy. It's a... Sentinel thing."

Jim watched the expressions cross his friends face. It translated into Simon thinking that he had lost his mind. However, Simon was obviously willing to humor him and that was all that counted.

Making his way, swiftly and carefully, Jim followed the trail they had broken through the brush. Murmuring in soft low tones, he tried to make the puppy as comfortable as possible. A small part of his mind was aware of Simon guiding them back to the car and muttering under his breath, but most of his attention was riveted on the snuggling, warm and totally *alive* body that the spirit of his Guide now possessed.

The details of the drive to the nearest veterinarian was a blur to Jim. His world was reduced to the small hungry bundle of fur in his arms. Once or twice he thought he heard Blairs soft and yearning voice echo in his head. //Hungry Jim. Hungry.// However, he wasn't sure if that was real or his imagination.

Finally, Simon pulled into the parking lot of a local Animal Hospital. Carrying his precious burden inside, he heard Simon explain about the orphaned foundling while Jim followed the doctor into an examination room. Carefully unwrapping Blair so the vet could see him, Jim continued to murmur quietly while gently stroking his soft fur.

The doctor did a quick exam to check for obvious signs of injury or illness. Finding nothing beyond extreme hunger, he explained to Jim how to fed a newborn pup. His assistant quickly mixed up and then warmed the formula.

Jim felt his heart melt as he fed Blair the milk from a bottle small enough to be for a child's baby doll. The tiny wolf pup suckled at the teat hungrily for quite a while. Once finished, he slowly drifted off to sleep in Jim's arms. The Sentinel was enthralled. Hopelessly ensnared by the charms of the infant wolf that contained his best friend and Guides loving spirit, he vowed he would never fail Blair again.

end Reincarnation