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New Years Day Traditions

By Scribe

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Jan. 1, 2002
8 a.m.

*sniff sniff*

*moan*

*footsteps up the stairs*

"Chief? You okay?"

"Am I breathing?"

"Let me check."

*Hand is rested on furry chest.* "Yep--still rising and falling."

"I figured I had to be breathing because if I wasn't breathing, then I couldn't be smelling what I'm smelling. What the fuck is that?"

"Um, lots of stuff. I decided to do traditional good luck food for New Years Day."

"Have we got any aspirin? That's traditional New Years fare."

"Of course we have. I haven't forgotten what state you got in last year. They're on the night stand. Here."

"Thanks."

"Don't chew them. Here, here's some water. Wait... let me drop this Alka-Seltzer in it first."

*plop plop fizz fizz*

*glug*

"Bleh. Thanks, man. Now, what sort of traditional luck food? Toxic waste?"

"Well!"

"Jim, don't be like that. You know I can't be perfectly polite when I'm sick."

"Poor baby. Come here." *snuggle* "Let's see... the tradition is eat poor on the first day, eat fat the rest of the year."

Blair turns a faint, gentle green. "Please, Jim, don't mention eating fat."

"Sorry. Anyway, I'm making cornbread, because it goes so well with the cabbage..."

"Cabbage? No wonder it smells like a swamp in here. Damn, man, you're the Sentinel, you have the enhanced senses. Why haven't you passed out?"

"A, I dialed down my sense of smell. B, I'm not the one who put away close to a magnum of champagne. You know, after all that fucking we did, I would have thought you'd have sweated some of it out."

"Why cabbage?"

"Isn't it obvious? It's to represent money in the coming year. I'm also making hopping john--a spicy rice and black-eyed pea mixture. The black-eyed peas represent coins, and their swelling up represents increase and plenty."

"That actually sounds pretty good. Spicy how?" Jim started to list the ingredients. Blair listened, nodding. Suddenly the faint, gentle green went closer to creme de menthe and Blair bolted out of bed, hand clapped over his mouth. The young man who had moments before thought that only a blasting cap could remove him from bed flew down the stairs.

*Bathroom door slams*

*Urk!*

Jim went downstairs and listened at the bathroom door. You didn't have to be a Sentinel to recognize the sounds coming from inside. He tapped on the door. "Babe? Look, I'm sorry. I honestly forgot about the ham hock..."

The End