Title: MEMORIES

Author: Natasha

Email: mallory@kyxar.fr

Fandom: The Sentinel

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Jim/Blair

Category: First time, romance

Feedback: yes

Archive: yes to all

Website: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Lot/8376/

Disclaimer: All Sentinel things belong to PetFly, UPN and Paramount.

Date: 08/08/99

Summary: Blair looses his memories. He only remembers he's close to Jim. But Jim tells him they're lovers...

Warnings: slash m/m

Note: Thanks to MoonShadow, my beta-reader.

"Ready to go back home, Chief?" Jim asked.

"Huh, sure, Jim," Blair replied with a smile that seemed a little fake. He picked up his jacket and followed his partner into the hospital's main hall, greedy to breathe fresh air, greedy to escape the confined space.

The head injury had happened during an arrest. Simon had unintentionally knocked him over by jumping on him as a suspect fired at them. The bullet had missed them but Blair's head had smashed against the ground. He'd been more than a little confused for a few minutes. The only clear thought he could form was that he needed to grab Jim's hand as a life preserver.

Jim had insisted on driving him to the hospital for a quick check-up despite Blair's protests. The X-ray showed there was nothing serious and now Blair was about to come back to the loft. The afternoon sun was arcing towards the horizon, sending sunrays into Blair's curls, turning the light brown in pure gold. Jim felt his breath catch in his throat at the play of light and color.

Jim sighed. If only he could find the courage to talk to Blair. Day after day, he told himself that today would be the day. But day after day, he stayed silent, not wanting to mess up a three-year old friendship.

He was lost in his thoughts as he drove Blair home and he barely noticed that the young man didn't talk as usual. It was only when they were in the loft that he realized that his partner was behaving strangely. It was as if Blair was seeing the loft for the first time. He moved about, seemingly unsure, touching things tentatively. And still he said nothing. Blair meandered towards his room and left Jim to wonder what the hell was going on.

Jim walked silently to Blair's room. The door was slightly open and he focused on his sense of sight and hearing, wondering what Blair was doing. The young man had spread out some papers on his bed and was reading them, frowning. Jim zoomed in on the papers and recognized Blair's ID card and driver's license. Jim shook his head in disbelief. He heard Blair's muttering, "If I live here, I must have a diary or something like that, or at least a photo album. Oh God, if only I could remember!"

Jim opened his mouth but was unable to speak as realization hit him. Blair didn't know where he was or who he was. The blow to his head was more serious than he had first thought. He understood now why the younger man had waited for him in front of the house and had stayed silent in the truck. He didn't remember anything! Oh God!

Jim entered his friend's bedroom and looked at him. Blair rose to his feet and bit his lower lip. The bigger man opened his arms and Blair moved to snuggle against him.

"I don't remember, Jim. I don't remember who I am, who you are. I just know I'm safe with you and I feel I'm safe in this place. Please, help me!"

Jim hugged him tightly, biting back the tears that wanted to run down his cheeks. "You're safe, Chief, don't worry. Relax. I take care of you."

He did what he had never dared to do; he gently kissed Blair's curls, stroking them, before leading Blair to sit on the couch.

"Tell me what you remember," he said gently, still holding his young partner.

"Nothing. Not my name, not my address, not my job, nothing." Blair replied with a panicked gaze.

Jim stayed silent, biting his lower lip. "You must have amnesia from the accident, Chief. We'd better go back to the hospital."

"Come on, man, I'm not sick," Blair protested. "What do you think the doctors can do? Keep me in a bed? Bull. When they were checking me out, I only had one thought: I wanted to come home. It was nearly an obsession. Now I am here, I feel a lot better. I just need some time to remember."

"What do you remember right now?" Jim asked.

"Not very much," Blair recognized. "I remember how to act. I mean, I can live on my own but I'm can't remember my name, my birth date or even why I live here with you. By the way, what is our relationship?"

The words flowed from Jim's mouth before he even had a chance to think, "We're lovers, Blair."

There was an awful moment of absolute silence before Blair broke into a large and happy smile. "I knew it! I knew you were special to me. When I woke up at the hospital, there was that pretty nurse but when you entered the room, I knew you were someone very special to me!"

He hugged Jim spontaneously before kissing him on the lips. Jim nearly jumped out of his skin at the touch. His heart leapt in his chest and he grinned back at Blair. Then, slowly, he leaned toward him and brushed his lips against Blair's. He was careful to move slowly to allow Blair plenty of time to pull away. Blair parted his lips, allowing entrance to Jim's questing tongue.

Jim was in heaven. He wrapped his arms around Blair's frame, his hand frantically grabbing handfuls of curly hair, his mouth working on Blair's, his tongue probing as deeply as he could, totally lost in this unexpected, long dreamed of kiss.

Jim had hidden his love for Blair even from himself in the beginning. He had dated women, and tried to build relationships but all had failed. He wanted Blair and only Blair. He loved him. But seeing the number of willing females in Blair's life, he had preferred staying quiet about his feelings. He knew his roommate was a pretty tolerant person but even he had limits.

And now the limits were breached. They were kissing as in Jim's dreams. He moaned against Blair's sensual mouth, rubbing himself against the young man but suddenly stopped. He had to think before going too far. He gently pulled away and smiled at his Guide.

"I guess you'll want to stay away from me for a while?" he asked almost shyly. "I mean... you have no memories. For you, I'm a stranger."

Blair looked at him, surprised, then smiled too. "Don't worry, Jim. Maybe I don't remember who I am but I remember loving you. Of course, I can't tell you where we met, where we kissed for the first time, but I know that I love you. It's very clear to me."

Jim smiled, wondering where these unexpressed feelings came from. Was Blair thinking of a woman and mistaking Jim as the subject of his feelings? Jim tried to remember but as far as he knew, his friend was not dating. His last date had been with nearly a month ago and they'd mutually agreed to go their separate ways.

He sighed and gave up. He pushed away his guilt and let Blair kiss him again before the young man declared it was time for dinner.

"Do you remember how to cook?" Jim asked.

Blair laughed, "So I'm the one who cooks?"

Jim laughed. "Well, you said at the beginning that it would be better for both of us."

Blair nodded and headed to the kitchen. He began to take ingredients from the closets and meat and vegetables from the fridge.

"It's okay," he said to Jim. "I remember. I almost can see myself cooking here. This place is very familiar to me. Just you wait. Dinner will be fabulous."

Blair was right; the dinner was delicious, as usual. During their meal, the young man asked Jim about them.

"So you're a cop and I'm an anthropologist," he concluded. "And we met during an investigation?"

"That's it," Jim replied, before carefully asking, "Do you remember a guy named Richard Burton?"

"The actor?" Blair asked.

"No, the anthropologist."

Blair frowned then shook his curly heard, "Not at all, Jim. Is he someone I'm working with?"

Jim had a brief smile, "No, he's been dead for a hundred years. You're studying his research."

"I can't really remember anything about my work, Jim. Really."

"That's not important," Jim replied, trying to hide his growing angst. "But if you can't remember anything about your work, you're going to have to get medical leave from the U."

As he was washing the dishes, Jim tried to ignore that his hands were shaking. During these last three years, he learned to fully trust Blair as his Guide. Now Blair didn't even remember the word Sentinel and Jim found this scary. If he had any problems with his senses, Blair wouldn't be there to help him. And he couldn't tell Blair. What would happen if the young man decided to tell the whole world about him? He didn't think that Blair would deliberately hurt him but he could do harm nonetheless from ignorance. Jim decided to hide his Sentinel abilities from Blair until the young man was a little more himself.

During the first part of the movie, Blair nuzzled against him until Jim got the feeling he wanted something besides his body heat.

"What's wrong, Chief? You cold?"

Blair bit his lower lip and asked almost shyly, "I don't know how I acted before, Jim, but I...I need to be cuddled and kissed. Does that bother you?"

Jim's warm smile reassured him. "Not at all, Chief. I like cuddling and kissing you."

He took Blair on his lap, wrapping the young man in the afghan, before letting his hands stroke the riotous curls. They didn't watch a lot of the movie because they spent the whole time kissing and cuddling on the couch until Jim's nostrils caught the scent of Blair's arousal.

"Want you," Blair whispered, gently biting Jim on his ear.

Jim's throat was suddenly dry and he nodded, lifting the young man in his arms. He carried Blair upstairs to his bedroom. They both fell on the large bed and an amazed Jim discovered that Blair was pretty aggressive when he made love. Blair's mouth seemed to be everywhere at the same time. Soon they were clad only in their boxers, Blair rubbing his aroused body against Jim's.

Jim's senses reeled from the heady assault and he felt himself responding in kind. Still, a small voice of conscience nagged at him. Jim pulled away, a bitter taste in his mouth and a nasty tang of self-disgust in his soul.

"What's wrong, Jim?" Blair asked. "Did I do something you don't like?"

Jim took a deep breath and sat up on the bed while Blair knelt beside him. "It's not you, Chief, it's me. I beg for your forgiveness, Blair. I lied to you."

Blair frowned, "About what?"

"We're not lovers. I wish that we were because I love you, Blair, but we're not. I don't know why I lied this afternoon but I owe you the truth. I don't even think you're gay. We live together 'cause three years ago, shortly after we met, an explosion destroyed your apartment and you asked if you could live in my apartment for a few days. The days became weeks, then months, then years. But we're not lovers, only best friends and partners."

Jim lowered his eyes at the end of his declaration, afraid of Blair's reaction.

"So," Blair summed up, "we live together as best friends, you love me but I don't love you. No, Jim, I can't be that stupid. It's obvious that I love you. Even if my mind doesn't recall, my body remembers you. I mean, I like every kiss and every touch. If I wasn't in love with you, it would wouldn't feel this way."

"I don't know, Chief. I really don't know," Jim replied, his head still lowered, unable to look at his partner's face.

Blair sighed then lay down on the bed, his arms crossed behind his head. "So you love me," he repeated a little smile on his lips. "I like that. Did you ever tell me? Or try to tell me?"

"No, I was too afraid of losing your friendship. I never told you that I'm bi for the same reason. Hell, half the people we know think you're gay 'cause of your hair and your earrings but five minutes after I met you, seeing you watching at every mini-skirted girl you met, I was aware that you were Mr. Straight himself."

Blair laughed and looked at him, "Don't make yourself the guilty one here, Jim. I'm not mad at you. I understand - you've been in love with me for a while and the temptation was too big. Even though I know we weren't lovers, I still enjoyed this evening. I like it when you kiss and cuddle me."

Jim blushed. "Really?" he asked in a husky voice, his body responding to Blair's words.

"Definitely. Now you have thirty seconds to take me in your arms and to kiss me like there's no tomorrow."

Jim greedily leaned toward the young man and kissed him senseless until Blair moaned against his mouth.

But again, Jim pulled away. "I can't do it, Chief. Sooner or later, you'll regain your memory. I don't want you to hate me. If I do what I want to do now, it would be rape. You're not yourself, Chief."

Blair sighed, "Jim, I'm aroused as much as you are, so why didn't we let nature take its course?"

"'Cause it'd be wrong." Jim firmly concluded. "I suggest you go sleep in your own bed, Blair. It'll be better for both of us."

Blair jumped out of the bed and Jim felt disappointment. He had expected Blair to protest. But a moment later, he understood Blair had gotten up so quickly because he wanted to slide back between the sheets.

"Here I am and here I stay," he said with that stubborn look Jim knew too well. "Listen, big guy, do this for me. I'm afraid to sleep alone in a dark room."

"Come on, Chief," Jim said, doubtful. "You're a terrible liar."

"I'm not lying here, Jim, I swear," Blair replied, taking Jim's hands in his, his wide blue eyes full of sincerity. "I... I really am afraid. Don't laugh! I don't like the idea of sleeping alone. When it's daylight, I can stand to be alone but not at night. If you don't want me to sleep here, I'll spend the night in front of television."

Jim looked at him, scanning the younger man with his Sentinel's senses. Blair was not lying. He could smell fear on the young man. He tried to imagine what Blair must be feeling and he understood the young man's uneasiness. Jim was Blair's only reference point. Jim remembered how lost he had been when his senses were on the fritz and how he felt reassured by Blair just by being here.

Blair resumed, "I'll tell you the truth, Jim. I don't want to sleep alone. If you don't want me in your bed, I'll sleep on the floor."

The puppy dog look in Blair's eyes melted any resistance in Jim's heart. "You're not going to sleep on the floor, Chief," he answered softly with a hoarse voice. He slid under the covers and opened his arms to Blair who snuggled against him, his curly head on the older man's shoulder.

"Thanks Jim," he whispered.

The next morning they went to see the doctor again. Jim had insisted and Blair had agreed reluctantly. The doctor confirmed that Blair was in good health and the amnesia probably only temporary. He made out a medical waiver certificate for the U. While Blair was phoning Rainier, the doctor asked to speak to Jim.

Alarmed, the Sentinel asked, "What's wrong, Doc? Is there something else?"

"No, don't worry, he's fine," the doctor reassured him. "But he is afraid. He's lost all his memories, he has no reference points and he feels alone. He's going to need more attention than usual. Try to be there for him. Make sure he knows that someone cares for him, has affection for him, is looking out for him. It'll make him feel less alone."

"What do you mean by affection?" Jim asked.

"I don't know how close you are and it's none of my business," the doctor replied. "But he may ask you to hug him, to be physically close to him. Don't be afraid to simply take him in your arms. Don't reject him for that. He just needs friendship and reassurance."

Jim nodded, "I understand. Don't worry, I'll take care of him."

So, Jim thought, maybe Blair's quest for cuddles was only dictated by his present state of fear.

When he went back to the loft late that evening, Jim found Blair lying down on the couch, his nose in a book. He smiled to himself. So the kid had already found his beloved books. But when he saw the cover, he frowned.

"What are you reading, Chief?" he asked.

Blair handled him the paperback and Jim eyes opened wide. It was a gay romance novel.

"Where did you find this?"

"In my bedroom. It was in a box under the bed. There are plenty of them. Jim, are you sure you told me the truth? In my computer, I found a whole bunch of directories with various slash fan fiction. It seems I'm a fan of Paris/Chakotay slash stories."

"Who are Paris and Chattahoochee?" Jim asked.

"Chakotay, Jim, the guy's name is Chakotay. They're Star Trek's characters. It seems I both read and write slash fanfic. And it's X-rated content, believe me," Blair explained. "And, it seems I'm currently writing a steamy love story between Star Wars' main male characters. I wanted to see if it was really me writing the story so I tried to write a little bit and it worked. I was able to almost finish the story."

Jim opened his mouth until Blair gently slid a finger under the other man's chin to close it.

"Hey, come back to me, big guy."

"Why did you call me that?" Jim asked, frowning. Last night too, Blair had used the affectionate nickname.

"Don't know," Blair shrugged. "It just came to me. Why? You don't like?"

"It's what you used to call me before," Jim explained. "Maybe your memory is coming back."

Blair had a charming pout. "I don't think so. I spent the day exploring my bedroom. Oh man, am I that boring? I mean, all these books about anthropology. I tried to read one, the Richard Burton's one. It's so *boring*!"

Jim smiled a tender smile and patted the younger man's cheek. "You're not boring, Chief. You're a brilliant academic but not in the usual way. You're like a breath of fresh air wherever you are. You're a very intelligent and interesting man, trust me on this one."

Blair had a shy smile. Jim resumed, "Chief, this might sound weird but... can I read your stories?"

Blair hesitated, "Did you know about them?"

"No," Jim acknowledged.

Blair chewed his lower lip. "Well, I guess you can read them. I'm not ashamed of what I write. But I warn you, it's really for adults."

"I swear I'm over 21," Jim said putting his hand on his heart.

"They're not printed so you'll have to read them on the screen," Blair explained as he headed to his bedroom.

An hour later as Blair was finishing cooking the dinner, Jim wondered how he could have missed this aspect of his young partner's personality. He read all of Blair's stories he'd been able to find on the computer. In all of them, Blair was evoking slash relationships. In all of them, he seemed to know a lot of things about gay sex.

He talked to Blair about that while they were eating and his young Guide smiled.

"I told you, Jim, I'm pretty sure I have feelings for you. Perhaps I didn't dare to tell you, just like you couldn't tell me. That's why I think it's pretty stupid that we're denying ourselves the pleasure of each other's company."

"I told you why. I don't want to go that far, Chief," Jim firmly said, "and I won't change my mind."

Blair hadn't replied to this affirmation but he didn't miss the chance to sit between Jim's spread legs on the couch while they were watching a movie, cuddling and rubbing against the bigger man, kissing him. He had convinced Jim that they would flirt and cuddle but nothing more. Strokes above the waist and kisses only. Nothing more.

After a moment, Jim moaned. "Chief," he begged as he felt his cock harden. "Stop!"

"Hey, I'm sticking by our contract here, big guy. I'm not touching you above the waist," Blair replied mischievously. That was true. But the young man had found Jim's most sensitive point, on the neck just behind the ear. When Blair began teasing him with his lips and tongue, Jim couldn't resist. He relaxed against the couch and only reacted when he felt Blair's nimble fingers unfastening his fly.

"Blair, stop it!"

The smaller man obeyed but Jim regretted it. He was so aroused that he thought he was about to come in his pants.

"Sandburg, I told you before..." he began.

"I have a proposal," Blair cut him. "Okay, no sex between us. But we can stroke ourselves. I watch you and you watch me. You don't touch me and I don't touch you."

Jim felt a rush of lust in his body at the thought. He nodded. Blair had a triumphant smile as they both lay down on the couch, facing each other. Knowing that despite his painful hard-on Jim won't make the first move.

Blair who was in a teasing mood, decided to give a little show of his own. With deliberate slowness, he pulled off his tee shirt letting the fabric drag across his flushed skin. Once he'd pulled it over his head, he shook his head to disentangle his curls. He didn't simply unfasten his pants; he slowly ran his hands on his torso, eventually reaching out his fly, stripping from his jeans slowly before removing his socks and shoes.

Jim couldn't miss the bulge in the younger man's boxers but pretended to ignore it. If Blair wanted to play, he could play too. Almost nonchalantly he stripped from his shirt, letting it slide over his hairless torso. He was equally unrushed as he removed his own socks and shoes. Jim pulled off his boxers revealing his engorged member. He ran his hands across his chest, teasing his nipples, feather-stroking his stomach before grabbing his throbbing cock, wrapping his fist around it and pumping hard. He was so ready that a tiny pearl of moisture oozed from his shaft.

Blair couldn't help but cup it with the tip of his forefinger and lick it.

"Chief!" Jim moaned too aroused to stop his hand stroking his member.

"I wanted to know what you taste like," Blair whispered.

He stripped quickly, freeing his hard cock. Jim hungrily devoured him with his gaze. He realized he had never seen Blair naked and he took the opportunity to memorize his Guide's body with his eyes, learning his geography like an explorer who wanted to draw a map. Blair's hand grabbed his own shaft, pumping roughly on it.

Soon they were moaning, seeing the pleasure growing in the other's eyes until they both came, crying the other's name.

"I feel like I'm a teenager again," Blair growled. "Chastity never was my thing!"

"It's good for your karma," Jim teased him.

"Fuck my karma! One day, Jim Ellison, I'm going to strap you to the bed, cuff you, and fuck you senseless!" Blair promised.

Jim only smiled but a rush of warmth shot through him. If only Blair remembered this threat when he recovered his memories...

They developed a kind of routine over the next week. Blair stayed at home, reading and resting while Jim was at the station. During the week, the Sentinel became aware how his Guide had become important in his life. Thank God Jim hadn't problems with his senses but he missed the young man a lot. Even the truck was empty without the young man at his side, talking and joking.

After ten days, Jim brought Blair back to the hospital for a checkup and Blair was fine. He had even begun to remember things like his friends' name. He recognized Simon and Rafe. When he got off the elevator at Major Crimes, he instinctively went to Jim's desk. The doctor said it was very encouraging and that Blair would likely soon recover his memories.

Jim was both happy and anxious. He was happy Blair would soon be healed but he had to admit that he would miss Blair as a boyfriend. And he was scared of having to explain to Blair that he had taken advantage of him during his amnesia. Each day he told himself he was going to stop, to stop kissing and cuddling Blair. But each evening he miserably failed when Blair welcomed him with a tender kiss. It was like a drug. And Jim was hooked.

Blair was cooking dinner the Friday evening, nearly two weeks after his injury, preparing some ox tongue. Jim had told him it was one of his favorite dishes. Blair sniffed the aroma with pleasure; his stomach was growling. He had always like ox tongue. Naomi used to cook it for him. Last time he had eaten it was when his mother had visited Cascade. Blair frowned. He was remembering! Naomi had been flirting with Jim and Blair had been worried. He had found them on Jim's bed, eating ox tongue and laughing together. Jealousy hit him hard. His mother had no right seducing Jim! Jim was his! Of course, he had played against his feelings and told Jim that Naomi was his mother, for Chris sake, not some bimbo. But the truth was that Blair was jealous of his own mother, not of Jim.

A sudden nausea forced Blair to switch off the flame under the tongue and to slide to the floor, breathing deeply.

Jim entered the loft at that moment and quickly put the groceries down.

"Are you okay, Chief?"

"Yeah," Blair replied, rubbing his face. "I was cooking ox tongue and I got woozy. Probably the heat."

"At least we're sure you're not pregnant," Jim joked.

Blair thought to laugh too but the feel of Jim kissing him tenderly made him not want to move his head. Jim's attentions moved from his forehead to his mouth. Blair was shocked and tried to speak but a tongue-kissing Jim wasn't easy to stop. The young man could only wrap his arms around Jim's neck. He didn't want to know why Jim was doing this. Jim was kissing him as he had in his deepest fantasies; he only wanted to enjoy the moment. He didn't even want to know why Jim was now teasing his ear, before his partner said, "Chief, I found your missing earring in the bed this morning. I put it on the nightstand."

"What?"

Jim pulled away, frowning, "Your missing earring, Chief. You told me yesterday you lost it. I found it in the bed when I made it up this morning."

Blair took a deep breath. "Jim, this is probably a stupid question but... can you tell me why my earring was in your bed? And while we're on the subject, why did you just kiss me on the mouth?"

Jim stayed silent a few seconds before asking slowly, "What day is it, Chief?"

"Monday. Why?" Blair replied.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Last thing?" Blair said. "I remember you arrested that guy, then... something hit my head... We've been at the hospital... I have to admit I can't remember how I came back home. It's weird, I can't remember..."

"It's Friday, Chief," Jim told him. "You've been suffering from amnesia for ten days."

Jim told him the whole truth, not trying to hide the fact he had taken advantage of his young partner's amnesia.

Blair sat on the couch, rubbing his face.

"I understand you're mad at me, Blair," Jim said softly, kneeling beside him. "My only excuse is that I love you."

Blair licked his lips. He was still reeling from the news he had been amnesic for ten days and that during this ten days, he and Jim had been close to lovers though they didn't actually make love. He couldn't help but remember again and again the kiss Jim gave him when he came back to the loft. It was so weird! He had enjoyed the kiss, enjoyed the fact he was in Jim's arms. He had the feeling he had a VCR in his head and someone was trying to watch ten different movies at the same time. Weird scenes came into his brain, mostly starring Jim - Jim kissing him, cuddling him, sleeping spooned against him.

"I'm not mad at you, Jim," he finally said, taking his friend's hands in his. "I... I vaguely remember this week." He frowned. "We watched TV in each other arms, didn't we? I remember that. I liked it."

"If you want to go to see Simon and report to him what I did," Jim said softly, his eyes lowered, "I would understand."

Blair burst into laughter. "I can just see that, me telling him, 'hey, Simon, Jim tried to do things to me! I'm shocked!'"

Jim looked at him. "I was wrong, Chief. I took advantage of..."

He was unable to continue because Blair's mouth was now on his and the young man was kissing him deeply, ravishing his mouth, claiming it as his, his tongue exploring the moist cavern hungrily, as his hands slid through Jim's short silky hair.

"Blair," Jim tried to say again but another kiss muted him.

When Blair pulled away, the only question he could think to ask was, "Your bed or mine?"

Jim stared at him, surprised, but recovered enough to answer, "Mine. It's bigger."

Once again, Jim was amazed by Blair's enthusiasm in bed. They were both only clad in their boxers and Blair was the incontestable leader in their loving battle, kissing, licking, sucking hard on Jim's flesh. The bigger man moaned under the ministrations, whispering, "Oh yes, Blair, fuck me!"

A stunned Blair stopped his strokes, then kissed the taller man tenderly, "You want me on top?" he asked, surprised.

Even though the idea was wonderful, he had always thought Jim would want to be on the top. Jim always wanted to have control.

"I want you to fuck me," Jim revealed. "Hard."P> "How hard?"

"Hard. Don't be gentle."

Blair slowly smiled, "Okay, big guy. You want to play rough, we're going to play rough!" He jumped out of the bed and took Jim's jacket, then slid a hand in the pocket, removing the handcuffs. "Remember what I told you when I was amnesic that I'd cuff you to your bed and fuck you senseless? Well, here I am, big guy. Ready to play?" he asked, showing the handcuffs.

A shiver of lust went through Jim's body. "Yes," he responded in a husky voice. So Blair remembered!

Blair handcuffed the bigger man to the bed. Then he stripped Jim's boxers, leaving him naked and totally vulnerable.

"Now you're mine," he whispered.

Jim smiled.

Blair slowly pulled down his own boxers, revealing his arousal to Jim's hungry gaze.

"You're hung like a horse, Chief," he panted.

"Thanks, big guy, you're not exactly lacking either," Blair said, patting the object of their conversation with his hand.

He took a tube of lube from the nightstand and came back to the bed. He spread Jim's legs and knelt between them. Jim was now totally at Blair's mercy and obviously enjoying every minute. Slowly Blair coated his fingers before teasingly circling Jim's puckered opening. He slid one finger in the tight hole, then two, scissoring his fingers to stretch his lover.

"You're as tight as a virgin," he whispered.

Jim moaned when Blair's forefinger hit his prostate. The younger man withdrew his fingers then slowly, making sure Jim was looking at him, he coated his hard cock carefully, letting his hand slide along the hard shaft, before teasing Jim's hole with the tip of his cock.

"Want me, big guy?" he asked.

"Yeah," Jim replied, lust stealing his concentration little by little, "I want your big cock pounding my ass. I want you buried to the balls inside me."

"I like it when you talk dirty," Blair whispered before entering his lover in one deep thrust.

Jim cried out under the powerful invasion but he enjoyed it too much to ask Blair to stop. "Harder!" he begged, "Ride me!"

Blair thrust hard in his lover, sliding easily into the tight opening. Jim was bouncing back against him, begging for more. His own cock brushed his stomach until Blair's fist wrapped around it, pumping hard.

Jim was lost in the wonderful sensations that went through his body, enjoying each thrust, each stroke Blair gave to him, enjoying the chance to surrender completely and the lack of need to lead, enjoying depending on his beloved Guide for his pleasure.

Blair supported his body with his left hand while his right hand was wrapped around Jim's cock. He lowered himself and kissed his lover hard on the mouth, bruising his lips in a kiss meant to claim his mate, ravishing his mouth with his tongue as his whole sweaty body was sliding on Jim's until both of them reached pleasure, climaxing at the same moment, Blair shooting his seed deep in Jim's heat, Jim splashing Blair's hand and their stomachs with hot semen, as a white heaven surrounded them.

Blair withdrew from his lover and collapsed on top of him, panting from the strongest climax he had ever experienced.

"Wow," he said.

"That's exactly the word I was looking for," Jim muttered.

Blair smiled at him and kissed him lightly on the lips before taking the handcuff's key and freeing him. Jim rubbed his wrists and took his lover in his arms, stroking the riotous curls wet with sweat.

"So if you had never became amnesic, you'd never would have told me?" Jim asked, stroking his lover's hair.

"I was afraid," Blair recognized. "Afraid you'd reacted badly, afraid I wasn't handsome enough for you. I knew you were bi. I heard some rumors at the station and I've seen how you watch handsome men. But I didn't want you to know that I was bi too ; it was just easier."

"Why did you think you're not good-looking enough, Chief?" Jim asked surprised. "You're beautiful. You must know that."

"I'm short, I'm hairy and I need glasses," Blair recited it as a litany he knew by heart.

"Who told you that crap? You're handsome, Chief. That's what I saw the first time I met you. Do you remember the first day we met, when we were walking in the street after you save my life with the truck? You asked me what that two girls thought about you?"

"Yeah. You told me they said I was a dork," Blair recalled.

"They said you were adorable, Chief. But I was jealous and I lied to you. Once again," Jim sighed. "Every time you were with a girl, I tried to break up your relationship with her."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Blair asked. "I mean, that you were attracted to me?"

"Look at me! I'm older than you, I'm going bald, and I'm just average. I don't know half the stuff you do and I figured you'd never look twice at me," Jim replied.

"Who told you that crap?" Blair smiled.

They stared at each other until Blair asked; "You'd let me be on top all the time?"

"Dream on, Sandburg! Just the idea of fucking that gorgeous ass of yours is giving me a hard-on!"

They burst into laughter until Jim's face became serious, "I love you, Blair."

There was so much passion in Jim's voice that Blair shivered. "I love you, Jim."

He stood silent a moment, his hand teasing Jim's nipple before he said, "Jim, remind me to thank Simon. Without him, we wouldn't be in this bed today."

"And don't forget to thank the ox tongue too!"

THE END