Title: Locks

Author: Jessamyne Hawke

Fandom: The Sentinel

Pairing: Jim/Blair

Rating: PG, General

'Locks'
by Jessamyne Hawke

Blair stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. He'd done it. Actually done it.

He'd cut his hair short.

Very short.

Jim had joked about cutting his hair now that Blair was going to the police academy, but it had been just that. A joke. Simon had even assured him that he didn't need to cut it for the academy. In the end, Blair decided to cut it off for the academy.

A new start. A new look.

Blair thought for sure he'd hate it, but he had to admit. It didn't look to bad. Instead of making him look younger like he thought it would, it gave him a more mature appearance. He'd also feared that it would kink up like it had when he was a kid, but the curls were loose. He guessed it was another thing about growing older, your hair tended to mellow.

Did that mean he had mellowed too? No. It just meant he was growing up.

Blair had meditated for what seemed like forever on the new twist in his life. He was going to be a cop. As his mother would say, a pig. He could just imagine his mother introducing him now to friends,

"Hello. I'd like you to meet my son Blair, the pig."

Naomi would freak if she saw him now. That's if she was still here. She'd jetted off two days later after Jim tossed him the detectives badge.

On the surface, she'd looked all happy for him but he knew his mother. She was not happy and was most likely meditating her ass off on her son's new occupation.

And for once, Blair was glad she was gone. He had his own unresolved feelings, okay anger, toward his mother for sending his dissertation to that jerk publisher without his permission. Naomi hadn't meant any harm, but a large part of him blamed her for the whole mess. If she hadn't sent it, then he wouldn't be where he is now.

Or would he?

When had he realized that he'd never be able to publish his dissertation? When was the moment he knew that he'd never be able to protect the identity of his subject?

After thinking it over, Blair considered their first trip to Peru as the turning point. He told Jim it was about friendship and he was right. Jim was his friend and not just some 'subject'. It slowly went down hill from there and Blair knew subconsciously he was putting off finishing his dissertation.

The news conference was the point where he knew that Jim was more important than his career and those three letters after his name. Not that it didn't hurt like hell to give them up. He had worked hard for them and it sent an ache to his heart every time he thought about it.

Yet after it all, Blair wasn't sure what had been more painful for him. The pain of losing his PhD and branded a fraud or the fact that Jim actually believed that he would take the brass ring and run. The day after the conference they talked about what happened.

It had been a major turning point in their relationship. Jim explained that he'd been mostly afraid. Afraid that Blair would leave, that he would not only lose his Guide but his best friend, partner and most of all his brother.

Blair had been awed by the revelation, especially that Jim considered him a brother. It was also a rarity for the Sentinel to express his feelings without having them pried out of him. The main part of Blair's anger and hurt went away with that moment. Blair had hugged Jim, telling Jim that he wasn't going to lose him. He'd always be there for Jim even though they could no longer be partners at the PD. Jim vowed that he would do everything he could to keep his partner.

The vow had been forgotten until the moment Jim had thrown the detectives badge at him that day in Major Crimes. Saying he'd been stunned when they talked about him being Jim's 'official' partner would have been an understatement. He was going to be a cop. A detective.

Blair had his misgivings at first, especially about carrying a gun, but being Jim's partner overshadowed it. Besides, not having to hear, "You're not a cop, Sandburg." or "Stay in the truck, Chief.", will be an added
bonus. He had a feeling though that his new status wasn't going to keep Jim from being his usually overprotective, Blessed Protector, self.

In all, Blair was really looking forward to starting the academy tomorrow. He'd already been Jim's partner for four years and to him this was only a formality. The title wasn't too bad either.

Detective Blair Sandburg.

Blair grinned at his reflection. Jim's voice outside the door broke through his thoughts.

"Hey Chief, I'm home and I have food."

"Okay, Jim. I'll be out in a minute." Blair answered his Sentinel, then sighed. He wondered how Jim would react to the new haircut. The decision had been a spur of the moment kind of thing. Literally waking up that morning and deciding to cut his hair. He hadn't told Jim what he was going to do. He'd been afraid that Jim would make too much of a big deal of it.

Steeling himself, Blair opened the door and walked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim had heard his Guide heartbeat long before he hit the door. He let his senses wander around the loft and found Blair was in the bathroom. He dropped the bag with the take out he picked up on the counter and called out to Blair.

"Hey Chief, I'm home and I have food."

"Okay, Jim. I'll be out in a minute."

Jim heard Blair sigh as if he were right next to him. The sound was common lately with Blair. Not that he was complaining. He preferred the sigh to the quiet sobs he sometimes heard from his Guide during the night.

Jim felt guilty about the fallout of Blair's denouncing his dissertation. At first Jim had felt relief, but then it had finally sunk in what that meant. His Guide branded a liar and fraud to save his Sentinel. His Guide
had given up fame and fortune to save his Sentinel.

Over the four years he'd known the young man, Blair had sacrificed so much for Jim. And what did his Guide get in return for those sacrifices?

His life work and dreams gone.

When it first came out, Jim had been hurt and felt betrayed by Blair. Deep down inside he knew that Blair would never do that to him, but that irrational part took over. In his fear, Jim had lashed out at his best
friend, accusing him.

Then he stupidly wanted to get rid of his senses. The irrational part of him taking over once again. He could never get rid of them. They were apart of him.

Just like Blair was a part of him.

They'd talked the day after the news conference. Jim knew that Blair had been hurt by his mistrust and wanted Blair's forgiveness. He told Blair all his fears, about not only losing his Guide but his best friend, partner and brother.

Jim could tell Blair was surprised that he considered the younger man a brother. Why not? Jim loved his brother Stephen, but not as much as he did Blair. He would never be as close to Stephen as he was to Blair. Blair had hugged him and Jim hugged back.

Blair told him that he'd never lose him. He'd always be there for him even though he was no his partner at the PD. Jim had clutched him tight. No way was he going to lose his Guide and partner. He vowed that he'd find a way to keep Blair as his partner.

From Blair's reaction when Jim tossed the badge to him in Major Crimes, Jim knew his friend had forgotten the vow he'd made. Jim knew he should have discussed it with Blair first, but the 'act first' part of his brain took over again. He'd called in every favor, with Simon added a few of his own, to get Blair into the police academy.

The old bounce had been back in Blair's step after that, though Jim could see the worry and apprehension in his Guide. He wondered, and not the first time, if he was being selfish. He never really asked Blair what he wanted. Was Blair going along with him just to make Jim happy?

Jim let out a sigh of his own. He opened the fridge and took out two beers. Opening them, he set them on the counter. He heard Blair walk up behind him, Jim turned around and gasped in surprised,

"Chief."

The bottles slipped from his fingers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luckily, the bottles didn't shatter, but the beer was spilling onto the floor. When Jim didn't bend down to clean it up, Blair quickly grabbed a few dish towels and did.

"I know it was a surprise, Jim, but I didn't think it would shock you that much." Blair rambled on until he realized Jim hadn't said anything. He looked up. Jim was staring straight ahead.

For a moment he thought that Jim had zoned, but the bewildered look on his face dismissed that notion. He wondered if 'in shock' was the right word. He dropped the wet towels in the sink and stood in front of Jim.

"Jim."

When he got no response, Blair wondered if this was a new kind of zone. Cupping Jim's face, he said his friend's name again.

"Jim. Talk to me. "

Still no response.

"Please, Jim. You're scaring me, man."

Jim blinked, and looked down into Blair's eyes. A pained look in his eyes, Jim brought his hand up to touch Blair's hair.

"Chief. Why?" He choked out. Blair let his hand slide back down to his side and shrugged.

"I thought it was time for a change. You know, new start, new look."

He smiled, then moved around Jim to wash out the towels. Jim just continued to stare at Blair as he moved around the kitchen. Blair almost missed the soft whisper.

"But it's a part of who you are."

Blair turned to his friend, shaking his head. He laid his hand on Jim's shoulder.

"No, it's not Jim. It's something people identified with me. I'm still me, with or without long hair." Blair said, then smiled. Jim grabbed his hand before he could take it away, gripping it. He had to know.

"Blair, is this really what you want? To be a cop?" Jim asked. Blair squeezed Jim's hand, gazing into his friends eyes.

"I've been your partner for the last four years, Jim. Going through the academy is just a formality for the higher ups." Blair explained, squeezing Jim's hand again. "And as your Guide, I can't let you go out there without me."

The Sentinel heard the sincerity in his Guide's words and what he didn't say hit Jim even more. Blair was again sacrificing himself for Jim. He suddenly couldn't breathe. It felt like someone had knocked the air out of him. Blair became concerned and touched Jim's cheek.

"Jim, what's wrong?" Blair asked, concern coloring his voice. He could feel Jim's hand trembling slightly.

"You're doing it again." Jim choked out. Blair's brow creased in confusion.

"Doing what?" Blair asked, wanting to know what was bothering his Sentinel.

"Sacrificing your life for me, Chief." Jim answered, taking a deep breath to quell the unease. "You're always sacrificing something for me. I can't ask you to keep doing it."

Blair eyes widened and he finally understood what was wrong. Jim felt that he wasn't doing it for himself, but for Jim.

"You don't understand Jim. I *want* to do this. I feel like this is what I'd been leading up to for the last four years. There's no other place I'd rather be than by your side. Helping you like I always have."

The smile that brightened Blair's face was sincere. Blair meant all of it. Felt it in his mind and heart. Jim unease lessened and he finally let go of Blair's hand.

"How long did you mediate to come to that conclusion?" Jim asked, a grin slowly forming on his face. Blair chuckled.

"Believe me, Jim. You do *not* want to know." Blair said, returning his Sentinel's grin. He laid his hand on Jim's shoulder. Gazing into his friends eyes.

"I'll always be at your side because that's where I belong. Where I *need* to be. Can you understand that Jim?"

"Yah, Chief. I think I finally understand. But," He said, a sad tone in his voice. "The hair?"

"Man, you do have a one track mind." Blair complained, smiling to take the sting out of words. "Like I said, I needed a change."

"Besides, think of the benefits. This cut is major low maintenance. Brush a hand through it and go. Also, no more long hair clogging the drains." Blair continued to ramble on about the benefits. An amused expression formed on Jim's face.

Seeing the amused look, Blair looked pointedly at Jim.

"What?"

Jim couldn't help but laugh, making Blair more indignant.

"What's so funny?" He demanded. Jim laughed again, reaching up and ruffling his partners shortened curls.

"You're right, Chief." He said, draping an arm over Blair's shoulder. "Even without the long locks, you're still the same Sandburg."

"Damn straight and I don't plan on changing anytime soon." Blair said with a beaming smile. Jim chuckled, gently cuffing the back of Blair's head.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Chief."