BTW: Even at the risk of my current WIP's suffering, I could be persuaded to complete this with a 1/1 in the loft the day after (the boys will be a little sore all) but you'll have to be VERY convincing. Virtual Swiss or Belgian chocolate accepted. A couple cases of Jolt cola wouldn't be turned away either..... not that I sleep well *now* with plot bunnies plaguing me day and night, but if I'm going to be up I might as well be WAY up and get some writing done, don't you think?

The two men entered the loft one behind the other, both preoccupied. Xander's head was swiveling back and forth in wonder at the size and attractiveness of the space; Blair couldn't get his mind off the small bag of hurriedly purchased pharmacy items that was clutched in his right hand.

"Wow. This is a great apartment. How do you afford it?"

"I don't. Not by myself, anyway. I have a roommate."

"Oh.... he's your 'thought about it', huh?"

"Sorry?"

"You said you weren't sure you were into guys, but you thought it about it once."

"Yeah. Jim's my best friend... that's all. He's not the one that got away, he's the one that never showed up in the first place. He's nowhere near approachable on the subject."

"You ever try?"

"No. Can we stop talking about the *im*possible and focus on what's *possible*?"

"Sure. Not that I have a clue what that is..." Xander laughed, his face flushing brightly.

Blair smiled, turned and led the way into the living room, leaving the bag on the table. Xander followed, dropping to the couch a few inches from Sandburg. The smaller man reached out cautiously and stroked a hand down his companion's cheek.

"It's okay. This is new territory for both of us, but I think if we just... take our time, have fun with it..... it won't be so scary."

"Sounds good.... most of me agrees. One particular part is kind of in a hurry, though...."

"We'll get there. First let's... can we start with...."

"Kissing... oh, yeah.... good idea...."

Tentatively, the two men tilted their upper bodies forward. Hands fumbled for placement on a shoulder or around a neck; eyes dropped to half closed, then sprang open again, unsure which was appropriate or acceptable to their partner. Eventually, their lips made momentary contact, but that moment was enough to rouse the primal force in each man once again and the next kiss was deeper, longer and far more passionate. When both finally pulled back, the loft walls echoed with their harsh breathing and the air surrounding them suddenly seemed weighted with arousal, deprivation and desires long denied.

When Xander placed both hands on Blair's chest and pressed, encouraging him to lay back on the couch, Blair resisted slightly, torn between simply letting things happen as they would and injecting rational thought back into the process. Xander saw the debate in his eyes and it woke him from his partial fugue state. "I'm sorry.... damn, this... thing in me so wants to get out of control.... I can't let it...."

"Why? I want that... I'd love to see it."

"Before... when it first happened? I.... tried to hurt a friend. I... I attacked her. Might've gone way too far if she hadn't fought me off..."

"Xander.... there's light years of difference between then and now. I'm asking you to let it go.... begging you. Maybe if you do.... so can I. First times should be electrifying and powerful and.... God, I want you. Please... don't be afraid." Blair pleaded, drawing Xander in for another soul-kiss and letting himself fall back at the same time. The young man was pulled down with him, ending up half stretched on top of his older lover. This finally brought their erections into contact, albeit one step removed from true intimacy due to their clothes. Despite the layers getting in the way, Xander gasped and Blair cried out in surprise.

"Well.. so there is a correlation between height and the size of a man's... equipment." Blair forced out while running his hands over Xander's back.

"Not if what I'm feeling on your side is any indication..." Xander retorted breathlessly. "I need to get out of these pants.... but I don't wanna move."

"I know. This feels so good. You're right, though. I need to see you.... now."

Both men sat up, then stood, turned their backs and swiftly stripped out of their clothing. When they faced each other again, both were stunned into silence for several seconds. Blair was the first to recover the power of speech, though only to a point. Xander's initial response wasn't much more coherent.

"Holy.... you're.... Holy...."

"Ummm..... yeah, it's..... wow?"

"That covers it. You're.... really beautiful. Your chest, your abs, your.... equipment...."

"Yeah... can we use the real words? Equipment brings up images of back-hoes and dump trucks.... not the sexiest things in the world."

"Sorry... like I said, new territory." Blair apologized, reclaiming his seat on the couch and tugging Xander back down as well. Sandburg stretched out again, but this time Xander didn't immediately follow suit. Instead, he held back, visually surveying every inch of Blair's body with eyes that had radically shifted color.

"Spinach in my teeth? Lint in my navel?"

"No... God, no. You.... you're gorgeous.... perfect. I can't wait to touch you and feel you come all over my hands.... you want that, don't you? You want me to make you come....."

"Xander?"

"I'm here. Just not... all of me. You begged me to let him go.... to let him out.... so I did. It... it wasn't me saying that, you know? I guess he's a lot more free with the naughty words than I am...."

"That's okay. Hearing you say it makes me need you more."

"Okay. Don't say you weren't warned." Xander replied, draping his body over Blair's. The moment their groins came into contact, each sensed a deeply buried internal switch flip from on to off and control was no longer an issue. Blair and Xander gave way to wolf and hyena and their conscious minds became focused only on what mattered in that moment; sound and fury, scent and sensation.

Slowly, teasingly, Xander began to grind up and back, pushing his cock against Blair's and drawing wild, towering, anguished notes from his lover's throat. At the same time, the younger man began to suckle and lick Sandburg's nipples, bathing one side in blistering moisture, then switching to the other. His hands were thrust under the other man's shoulders, lifting Blair up slightly to meet his demanding tongue. Blair's were once again sweeping over Xander's back in increasingly frantic circles and patterns.

"Gahhh.... ohhhh.... yes, sweet God, yes..... fa-faster... please.... Xander.... you.... ahhhh!"

Still babbling, Blair shuddered in Xander's arms as his orgasm overtook him. The younger man was only a few seconds behind. It was several minutes before either man was able to reclaim the portion of their humanity they'd set aside, but, to his mild shame, Blair's first coherent thought did not involve himself or Xander. It was about the surface they were currently dribbling warm, tacky fluid all over.

"He's gonna shoot me.... point blank.... right in the head."

"Huh.... who?"

"My roommate...."

"What? Because.... I thought you said...."

"Not because of what we did. Which there are no words for, by the way."

"Yeah. And we didn't even... you have enough energy left to keep going?"

"Once I get the wolf revved up again.... more than enough."

"Alright! So... why is he gonna kill you?"

"He's a chronic neat freak.... and I just murdered his couch...."

*********************************************

As he moved into the kitchen to retrieve the supplies, Blair yelped slightly at the temperature of the uncarpeted floor on his bare feet and quickened his pace. Xander giggled. They'd played rock- paper-scissors to decide who'd go back and get the pharmacy bag and Blair had lost.

"Yeah, keep laughing an' I'll change my mind about puttin' out." Blair responded, not quite able to make the statement as gruff as he'd intended.

"I hope not. I can't stop thinking about your body... those sounds you made.... I'm on my way back to RWA already."

"RWA?"

"Ready, willing and able." Xander explained as he laid two sleeping bags on the floor as a make-shift mattress. "This was a really good idea."

"It was the only idea. Right now the couch is salvageable, but lubricant would never come out of the cushions. My futon's too small and Jim's room is off limits so.... sleeping bags on the floor." Blair said as he returned with the condoms and lube.

"I don't care. Long as I get to touch you again, you could have offered me a bed of thumbtacks and I'd have said yes."

"It *was* pretty incredible....." Blair replied, stroking a hand down Xander's arm. "It felt like.... stepping outside myself and giving it all over to something.... more."

"More what?"

"I don't know. More confident.... more uninhibited....."

"Like me and the sexy talk. It was like somebody was telling me what to say and giving me the courage to say it."

"Do you think that'll happen again?"

"Maybe... if I let it."

"Do you want to let it?"

"I don't know.... I'll admit it was hot. It even stepped on my accelerator a little...."

Watching Xander's face as he relived the memory, Blair felt himself begin to harden again.

"You remember what you said?"

"How could I forget? I said.... I wanted to feel you come all over my hands....."

Blair shivered briefly and closed his eyes. "You okay?"

"I... I'm fine. I just really need to be close to you...."

Xander nodded shakily and dropped to his knees on the sleeping bags. Blair followed him down then both lay on their sides facing each other, their bodies only an inch or two apart, hands reaching out to reawaken the zeal they'd shared earlier.

"Tell me more..... tell me what happens next...." Blair murmured.

Gazing intently into Blair's eyes, Xander slid his hand over his lover's abs and down to cover the half hard flesh below. At the first touch, he felt the separation happen again and he welcomed it, unsure he would have been able to speak at all without his alter-ego's authoritative presence.

Later, as he had with the images from his initial possession, Xander would try to convince himself that he remembered little or nothing of what he'd breathed into Blair's ear, but the words he spoke burned themselves into his fevered brain as deeply as they did into Sandburg's.

"When you finally do come.... I'll be inside you, sliding in and out of your ass like we were meant for nothing but that.... and my hands'll be milking the juice from your beautiful cock. I'll catch your come in my palms... and lift it up, offering it to you.... and while your whole body shakes.... and your muscles tighten around me.... I'll hold very... very still while you drink your essence from my hand. When every drop is gone, then I'll let myself come.... you'll feel my heat pulsing into the condom.... again and again and again..... and you'll cry, wishing the barrier wasn't there.... wishing we were flesh on flesh and you could know how it feels to have me hard and strong inside.... and dripping down your thighs at the same time...."

"G-God....Xander....I.... I'm so hard..... it hurts..... please...."

"I know.... I have to get you ready first.... hang in there for me, okay? I've never tried this before...."

"Guess I have the advantage. I've been reading...." Blair confessed, bending his top leg and placing the foot flat on the floor. "Put some lube on one finger.... rub it around.... then ease it into me. Go slow...."

Xander complied, trying to be as gentle as he could.

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah.... it's great. Move it a little.... mmmm..... in and out.... "

"I get it. When I feel you start to relax, I add another finger."

"Uh-huh.... and f-force them apart a little.... to stretch the muscle..... man, this feels weird...."

"I love it. Touching you this way... it's so beautiful. Makes the anticipation worse, you know? I can't wait until I'm so deep inside you it feels like we're one body.... one, moaning, screaming, sweating body...."

"Yes... I need that... need you now...."

"Not yet.... you're not ready. Here comes the second finger. Don't tense up.... let me in.... that's it...."

Even as he dealt with the aching and strangeness, Blair could almost see the wolf pacing at the edges of his mind, impatient to take the spotlight again. He fought back, still a little frightened by the idea of losing himself so completely, but when Xander upped the ante with a third finger a few minutes later, Sandburg screamed and finally allowed the transition to happen.

"E-enough.... in me now!"

"Easy, okay? I hear you...." Xander responded, cautiously removing his fingers. "How do you want to...."

Blair's only answer was to twist around and pull up to his hands and knees. Xander, though as much a novice as Blair, was not stupid and got the idea immediately. Ripping open the box of condoms, he extracted a packet, tore it open and worked it over his cock, covering the sheath with lubricant. He then moved into position.

"You ready?"

Blair grunted softly and drove his hips backward. "I hope that's a yes...." Xander chuckled brokenly as he caressed his lover's shoulders and back with one hand and used the other to guide the tip of his erection to Blair's entrance. "I'm going in, now, Blair.... feel me.... I'm so hot and hard for you, man... want you so bad....."

"Ahhhh! Xander...."

"It's o-okay.... I won't do anymore for a minute.... relax..... relax and let me in, please.... I need to be in you....remember I promised you.... when you taste yourself on my fingers.... it'll be mind-blowing...."

Gradually, Xander's words soothed the man beneath him and he was able to slide in little farther. After allowing Blair another minute to adjust, Xander pulled out slightly and pushed back in. All pain receding from his thoughts, Blair began to rock back and forth on his knees, trying to establish a rhythm. Xander caught it and his advances and retreats became smooth, steady movements. One hand slipped down and wrapped around Blair's cock, gliding up and down and matching the speed he and the older man were setting.

"Oh.... oh, God.... coming.... coming, now...." Blair warned, his words devolving into a low, guttural howl. Barely aware of his surroundings, Xander made good on his promise. The moment that Blair found his release, the younger man stilled inside him, concentrating on the warm, sticky fluid pouring over his hand. As Blair began to descend from the height of his orgasm, he found that hand at his lips, nudging them open. Part of him shuddered with revulsion, but that part had been tightly bound and gagged, leaving the primitive in charge. His tongue flicked out over and over, gathering the creamy liquid into his mouth and impelling it down his throat until not a trace was left.

Behind him, Xander produced a noise somewhere between a growl and a high-pitched laugh and thrust one final time, achieving his own orgasm. Blair shoved back, reveling in the moment, then collapsed onto his elbows. Xander leaned forward, wrapping one arm around Blair's waist and supporting him until he found the strength to push back up.

Once both men's breathing had slowed and they felt their civilized selves taking back control, Xander slowly pulled out and moved away to find a bathroom and dispose of the condom. Blair held his position for a few more seconds then lay on his side, eyes shut. Returning, Xander lay down beside Blair and gently swept the tears from his lover's cheeks.

"God, I'm so sorry.... I didn't mean.... did I hurt you?"

"No.. it's okay. It hurt some.... but I was ready for that. I don't know what this is about...."

"I think I do. It's about your roommate. You think maybe you've screwed up any chance you had with him."

"I have. That doesn't mean I regret today. It was.... stunning. I just...."

"You haven't messed anything up yet. You will if you don't tell him about this and about how you feel for him."

"No way. I could never..."

"You have to, Blair. What if it turns out he wants you too? Then what we did is a good thing. It means you can go to him knowing what you're doing. The first time fumbles are out of the way."

"Yeah.... I guess."

"You want the shower first?"

"No. It's okay. I... need to think. You go ahead."

ONE HOUR LATER

"C'mon. I can see it in your eyes. There's somebody. Tell me before you walk out of my life forever." Blair teased as he and Xander stood at the door.

"There could be. He's a lot older than I am, though. He'll be hard to convince."

"Jim's got more than ten years on me. Age isn't the issue, it's whether you care about each other."

"Yeah. Hey.... thanks for the food.... for everything. If I'm ever up here again, maybe I can treat you to lunch."

"Yeah, but hopefully we'll both be getting dessert somewhere else by then."

"If we're lucky. Bye."

"Bye."

The elevator clanked its way down to the ground floor and as he stepped out into the late afternoon sun, Xander pulled a borrowed cell phone from his pocket and dialed a familiar number.

"Yeah, Giles. I found the book. No, it was more than we thought, but.... yeah I had enough money. Will you listen for a minute? You remember back in high school when I got macked on by the hyena? Uh-huh. You gave me a one-hundred percent, money back, full satisfaction guarantee that it was gone. Boy are we gonna have a conversation when I get back....."