Title: I'll Cover You

Author: Growly

Series: The Sentinel

Pairing: N/A

Rating: PG (For here)

Disclaimer: The Sentinel and its characters don't belong to me. I'm not making any money off the writing of this fic

Archive: Yes, to WWOMB. Others, please ask.

Warnings: Spoilers for some episodes, but not much else really. Yet.

Notes: "I'll Cover You" is a song from Rent which I really enjoy. And this fic is not beta'd.

I'll Cover You
by Growly
* * *

It's raining again. No matter how long I have spent in Cascade I don't think I'll ever learn to like the rain. Cold and wet shouldn't have to be my world…

I find my gaze flitting towards the other side of the room, wishing Jim was home - wondering why the fact that he wasn't made me simultaneously relieved and on edge. Now that I think about it, it's a good thing that he's not home. It gives me time to at least try and compose myself. Of course, with Jim's Sentinel senses, he's likely to know there's something up, anyway.

With a sigh, I lean forward and let my heavy head rest against the cool glass of the window, watching the water droplets bead against it and slide slowly down.

What will I tell Jim? Part of me wants to be evasive from long-standing habit. Or maybe it's just some weird perverse quality in my nature that makes it so easy for me to twist words when I need to. But not to Jim, not when it counts…

Not again.

But all my resolve still leaves me with the same dilemma. What will I tell Jim?

It just occurs to me that I shouldn't have to be worrying about this, not after all the hell we've been through together. There must be someone out there that doesn't like me very much… Either that or everything that's happened to us is part of some kind of long, rigorous test of our Sentinel/Guide bond… I prefer to think it's the latter, because it sounds more hopeful in the long run.

I don't know how long it's been since I had any doubt in us. Or at least since I had any in him. He's had plenty in me, and I can't say some of it didn't have justification buried somewhere. And if memory serves me correctly, I've had times when I worried about how everything would turn out. After that fiasco with Alex, though, I thought it would all work out between us. Even though the subject of my death had been almost taboo in conversation between us - and still
tended to be avoided more than not…

Jim would find it funny that I babble even when I'm thinking.

As a rational observer, I know that I'm only doing it to fill space, to avoid thinking about the real issue at hand. But as a guide, as a person, I can't help it. My brain is going around in circles, and I keep coming right back to the same bitter conclusion.

So… what can I do about it…?

I feel something wet splash against my hand and I make a mental note to tell Jim to consider getting the window replaced. It shouldn't be raining inside. It shouldn't…

Drawing in a deep breath, I let go of my tentative hold on my emotion, knowing that Jim will not be home for a while yet. And for a moment, just a brief moment, it's just the same on the inside as on the out. It's wrong, though…

It shouldn't be raining here in my heart…

*End 0/4*